Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - The Shoe of The Summer Is Flip Flop (Todd Glass, Charlie McCrackin, Stephanie Burchinow)

Episode Date: February 9, 2026

Comedy legend Todd Glass joins the 13-timers club as he beefs with Scott and promotes his upcoming shows at Joe’s Pub in NYC. Substitute teacher Mr. Gunlock returns to give updates on his odd hobbies and let us know when the homework is due. Finally, first-time guest Charlene LeTruck gives an exhibition of her amazing psychic abilities! Don’t forget to check out the Comedy Bang! Bang! Action Figures at shop.figurecollections.com and go to actionfigureseller.com for international purchases. If you want more great episodes of Comedy Bang! Bang! become a subscriber at comedybangbangworld.com. We have all of the past episodes from the archives, every live show, ad-free new episodes, and original shows like CBB Presents and Scott Hasn’t Seen. Find more great Comedy Bang! Bang! merch at https://www.podswag.com/collections/comedy-bang-bang Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/cbb Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

One of the Banc, bang, bang, comedy bang, bang, comedy bang, comedy bang, comedy bang, comedy bang, comedy bang, comedy bang, comedy, bang, comedy, bang. One fish, two fish, redfish, bluefish, and that completes my sushi order. comedy bang bang. Thank you to pure guava for that old catchphrase superstar. I believe I'm bestowing and denointing pure

guava, that is, the catchphrase superstar moniker now. I don't believe I have in the past, but pure guava, thank you so much for that submission and welcome to comedy bang bang for another week. We have a great one today. My name is Scott Ackerman. We have coming up

a stand-up comedian of note. We have a substitute teacher and we have a psychic. Wow. What a panel of people here today on the show today. A wide swath. Let us start though with the stand-up comedian. He's an old friend of the show. An old friend of mine, one of the people I've known the longest in comedy, I would say. We are in our 31st year, I believe, of friendship. Oh, dear Lord. Can you imagine anything lasting that long? I can't imagine anything lasting 31 minutes. It's crazy.

Or 31 seconds, in my case. When your new friends, you've known like, wait, I know you that long? Yeah. It's crazy. I know. It's crazy. Anyway, he is here. He's a returning champion.

Oh, gosh, I should look up how many times he's been on the show. Todd, you talk for a while. Let me guess. I want to say 10? You think you're entering the 10-timers club or the 11-timers? The 11th timers. If I had to guess. Okay.

Keep talking. Well, I want to say. say that thank everybody for tuning in. Todd, or this person, I shouldn't say your name yet, because that's your cue to talk. This person is entering the 13-timers club here on Comedy Bang Bang, and we love him for it. Thank you. Now, we've been doing this show 17 years, so that's less than once a year. I'd like to see you more.

Yeah, that doesn't seem that much now. You did do a couple of our U-2 episodes, though. So that's adjacent. So I think it bumps up your stats a little bit. Yeah. But he is entering the 13 timers club here today. Please welcome. I almost said his name earlier.

Todd Glass is here. Hello, Todd. Hello, Scott. So wonderful to have it. You seem a little sedate today. Well, you know, I'm trying to be, that's so funny to say that. You want to read the room and be the level that everyone else is at? Be a little calmer.

Sure. I don't want to be, you know, calm to where I'm not who I am. But, like, I just appreciate the atmosphere. And you know what I appreciate the most? I say this is maybe to influence other podcasts. The good vibe in the room and the. and the temperature. That's right.

We're all about vibes here. The temperature, more than that. We've been talking about it on the show before. Todd is very controlling as to what goes on in any room he's in. How did I compliment him? And then it ends up. I didn't say, more I went to the AC. I used to run a comedy night here in town for over 10 years.

And Todd was the only person to come in and try to adjust every single facet of what was going on in the room, every single time he performed, asking for lights to be taken down, asking for drapes to be pulled various places. You like it the way you like it. And you know what? I don't hate to say it. I think that I'm right. You love to say it. I think I'm right most of the time.

You know, it's not like I made up these things. I just got out of my own way. Like over the years when I've been touring doing stand-up, you see, oh, I like that that club does that. Oh, I like, and I just changed. I used to play loud music in the beginning of the show. Like, da-da-da, it's done. Then I was- The national anthem? years to play.

Everyone would have to stand up. I play that at the end. Oh, that's a good idea to play that at the end of your show. Actually, it's not bad. You don't stand. Get a standing ovation. Yeah. What about this? What happens if I do this?

Thank you very much. You take the glory. But yeah, I just learn little things. But I've talked about this a lot. We have talked about it before. So I try to like, for people that might go, I love Todd, but enough with that. You used to hate how I would love the lights to be on a little more bright than you liked them in the room because I enjoyed seeing the audience, having the audience at least a little bit lit up because it felt like it was,

everyone was part of the show. And you hated that because you liked the only lights to be focused on you. Everything is negative with him. I've never met anyone that loves me. I do believe he loves me. You've never met anyone that loves you? No, I never met anybody that loves me that flips it all to negative. Like, I compliment you. I was just going to say, but I think that it depends how bright the lights are up in the room. Actually, it's funny to say that because when I tour with Jim Gaffigan, And he's one of many guys. He likes the audience pitch dark with a spotlight on them. I can't have that.

I do like to see the first few rows. Yes, you like to interact with everyone. No, I don't interact with anybody. You don't interact with anyone in the shows anymore? I never did. Oh, no, I did. I didn't ask where you're from. I didn't ask where you're from.

Okay, that was your one rule. Why do we care where anyone is from? I don't know. What do you do if you're at a party? Who cares? What do you do if you only do crowd work and you're at a party and someone asks what you do? Do you still say stand up or do you go? I ask people where they're from.

Well, you know, you can just go to a bar and do that. Go to a restaurant, walk around. Hey, where are you from? Where are you from? But you know what, though? I still make it a positive. Although there's a lot of crowd work out there right now. There's also a lot of brilliant comedy out there right now.

And we had in the 80s, we might have had as much crowdwork, but guess what we had? We had magicians, song parody guys. Guys with puppets. Guys with puppets. So, yeah, you always had stuff like that that you didn't think was the best for comedy. but it never gets in the way of great coming. Would you become a hypnotist if you could learn how? I think that's the only thing standing in your way right now.

You know, it's funny, I don't even still to this day, and I've been in the room while they're doing it, you know, and I still don't know if it's, I don't know. I think it's all bullshit. Although I hear it works from various people and smokers as well, but I've been attempted to have been hypnotized a few times, and it just doesn't work on me, maybe. You know the closest thing I got to the truth was a doorman at the DC improv once after the hypnotist was there.

Forget his name. He goes, I think I figured it out. Once they get laughs, how good do laughs feel? And sometimes these people from the audience, they get big laughs that relaxes them. Because, you know, of course it would. You've never gotten laughs like that. Now you're getting roars from the audience. And you think it relaxes people instead of them.

And then they do whatever they're told to do. So they get into this. I thought, you know what? You might be on to something there. The one time I did it, there was a hypnotist who would come to Knott's Berry Farm during the Nottskary Farm period of time during October. And he would always put on a show. And I went up there like, and it was always this kind of show where it was like, okay, making people act like chickens and they would run around the stage going, bach, bach, bach, bach, getting huge laughs. And I went up there with, and he would take 30 people and only use three or whatever.

And then he'd go around, like, telling everyone to get off the stage, you know. And I was up there and I attempted to be hypnotized, but you're also there, like, not wanting to not play along. So you're doing everything he's telling you to do, lifting your arms up like they're lightweight and moving around. Even though I'm the whole time going, I'm not hypnotized. So I think that extends to the people who stay on stage and act like chickens. It's just like, I don't want to be the guy going like, I'm not going to do that. Right. And you just, you want to play along. Yeah.

But, you know, I don't know. Would it surprise you to know I've hypnotized you already during this show? I don't even need to tell you to do it. Oh, my God. Todd, you're one of our dear, dear treasures of the comedy world. Well, thank you. Here we go. It's something coming up.

No, you do have something coming up, and that's three incredible shows. Six. Six shows. Oh, you're doing two at night. Yes. Wow. How do you like doing that? Two and night.

I love it. You love it. I love it. I could do three a night. if you know, with the right crowd, with the right club. But I love it. You know, I did this tour with Daniel Tosh

and we did two months straight, a show every night for two months straight, just one night off. And everyone's like, it's gonna get it after a while. One night off the entire two months or one night off a week? The, whoa. And you know what?

What'd you do that night? We went to a movie. What'd you see? Do you remember? You know what? I forget the movie, but it's not even that important. But it was a bad movie,

but we loved it because it was bad. It was like something with a, I forget. Something with a what? I forget. I wouldn't be able to remember. Why did you say something with a though? Because it seemed like you're right.

It seemed like you were thinking of something. I was, I was thinking it was like, oh, was one of those like, come on, one of those what? I see that you see the picture in your mind. Was it a movie with race with the. Pass and Furious movie? Are they crappy at this point? I mean, I think they're okay. Oh, there wasn't that.

This was like. They're probably crappy in your mind. This was probably like maybe. seven, eight years ago, right before the pandemic. This is Fast and Furious Eight, my dear fellow. No, it wasn't that. Oh, okay. I'll find out what it was.

If I say it now, will you put it in later if I just go, oh, I remember it. Yeah, I will. F9. So, but I loved it. No, granted, the worst part about traveling is the flying, so it was a tour bus. So it's effort. You're on a tour bus, really. It's effortless.

So, you know, it's all the bad part about doing stand-up is gone. Right. At the end of the two months, I was like, I got, it was great. I could have done another month. I, you're, you're, of course, we've talked about how you love, uh, the sound of your amplified voice. Oh, sure.

You're a person who, uh, anytime you see a live microphone anywhere, it's an opportunity for you to, to just get up and do bits. Haven't you done like bits on like tour buses? Well, I'm laughing of that because there's so true. There's a little truth to it. One time Pat and Oswald saw, I was at the Mayfair supermarket and, and the manager there knew me. And I made the, you have to leave everybody announcement. Yeah, and I, everybody, we're closing in this amount of time.

And they let you do this. They let me do it. And I knew, don't curse, don't, you know, because it was sure. And he goes, Todd would just be happy if he got to make the announcements. It's not stand-up he loves. If Mayfair, by the way, I love you, call it Mayfair instead of Gelsonstown. Gelsensdown, that's true L.A. native, I love that. You'd be happy if Mayfair hired you to do that every night at 10 p.m.

And when I was like 6-17, there was a car wash I'd go to in Philadelphia, and you would pull through yourself. You know, ones where you stay in the car, and they'd have a microphone. All right, come pulling out, pull it up. And I would go in there and hang out. And they would let me pull the car. So maybe there's truth to that. Our daughter has various microphones stashed around the house that she's always getting out and turning on and doing things. The one with the reverb in it? Yeah, yeah. And one with like a little tape recorder thing that play that, that she can play back certain things. I'm just like, I'm raising a little top glass right now. I love it. We should hang out. Yeah. Oh, no. Oh, wait a year or two. She might, she might be. A year or two.

Two. How about 15? You know, actually five, the people that rent for me have a five-year-old daughter, six-year-old daughter. And I'll tell you what, they genuinely get bits. They don't call them bits. They just play. But, like, I found hanging with her is not sure. It's pure pleasure. You do have the most childlike, in a positive way, attributes of any stand-up comic I know, where it's just play up there for you.

You love doing it. Like I said, you love the sound of your own voice. You love doing bits. Oh, that doesn't say. You know what it is? It's also hanging out with comedians. It's my favorite thing on the planet to do. Hanging out with comedians.

It's just pure joy, you know. And that's one of the big, that was the part on the tour bus that I love the most was hanging out in the bus and just doing bits and having fun. And you are taking that energy doing two shows a night over three consecutive days in March. Coming up March 5th, 6th, and 7th in New York City. In Manhattan. At a place, if you don't know of it, the name just sounds like it's not an iconic cool place, but it is. It's called Joe's Pub.

And it's in a complex with like three other theaters. And it's where, like, Hamilton got started and they do Shakespeare in the park there. They also have eclectic comedians. Is there a park in the middle of a complex? Someone told me that, so I'm just repeating it. When you say it's Joe's Pub, you got to follow it up. But it's an iconic place. And, you know, I've talked about venues, what I like.

It is the epitome of what I like. What is it that you'll let's list the things down that you like. What do you like? I talked about this so much. That's okay. We look, we have so many new listeners. It's the atmosphere.

It's like most comedy clubs are built like comedy clubs. What? Earth's atmosphere. No, the atmosphere of the comedy club. It's most comedy clubs are built like comedy clubs. This is built more like a jazz club. Dark.

You know, black table claws. It's just something about it. It's just very, you feel like you're somewhere. You feel like you're somewhere. Like, oh, this is cool. The way the show starts and the lights come down. The bars.

not too close to the stage. There's no bar in the room. No bar in the room. Where do they keep the bar? Well, where do they keep it in any club that doesn't have it in the room? What clubs? Most good comedy clubs don't have a bar in the room. I'll give them credit for that. There's exceptions. There are exceptions. Now, are you still having parties where you hire the live drummers? Oh, Jesus Christ. I haven't in a while. I haven't in a while. Because the last time we spoke, and this might have been on one of Adam Scott and Mike, your two shows. I was going to have you over. Yeah, you were going to have me over and you and I have not received any kind of invite from you.

This is the most contact that we've had. Because I think I have you over. I'm going to be in dreadfully honest. I thought he's just going to make fun of everything. You won't partake in it. You'll comment on it. I love it. No, that's what you say now.

But you wouldn't let yourself go and be silly. And then we'd do something else. You wouldn't ever jump in. You would just. This is the most contact we've had since those episodes. You've texted me. I saw you at Sarah Silverman's party. Yes.

And you made fun of my outfit. What were you wearing? Why would I think of your outfit? I don't know, but you looked at me. It's stuck with me. You look at me and he went like this. He goes, what's it with this? And I drove home.

I go, why didn't I answer him? What's with what? Having a little style. Yeah, what was, what were you wearing? Do you remember? I was wearing like pants like these, but brown sort of. Oh, yeah.

What's what? Oh, boots. But I was like, can you just say you look good? Not like leather, not boots, but like, you know, whatever they're called. Like, like I don't know who cares

swayed? I don't know what kind of boots are you wearing? Oh blue suede shoes no no after right after I say it I say no that's what unfunny people do I haven't seemed to receive an invite from you because you're afraid that I would go to these parties and make fun of them I think I thought that

okay well of course I'm not going to do it I'm just going to go and enjoy myself this is this is our contact since those episodes Scott you always help me out when you can so if now is not a good time of course I understand I'm doing some is all about shows you're doing and you want to promote them and you want to come on this show. And yet I don't get party invites.

Well, that does sound good on paper. But I think some people go, I know why you were afraid. I bet if, you know, if Kulap came in the room, she would go, I know what he means. And she adores you. She loves you. She might go, I know what Todd meant. You might. But anyway, the life is not over yet.

And by the way, the drummer. Life is not over yet. We can agree on that. The drummer started. I have drums at my studio because I would like. I like when guests would come in, I would have like different musicians. Like I would have a trumpet and a drummer or a keyboard and drums. You would keep these instruments around the house in case guests come over.

Or no, no, when I did the podcast, when the guests would come, I'd play them in. And sometimes I had the band there. And I realized that drummers don't want to bring their own drums. And it's cheaper if you have your own drums. And they're in a better mood. So I just started having a set of, I bought a set of drums. How much did you pay for the set of drums? Oh, back then, I don't even remember, probably four or $500.

But it's been worth it because how long have you? had him? I've had him for like 13 years. So it's amortized over 13 years to be somewhere around $35 a year or something like that. Worth it? Absolutely. And the, and the, the, the, the way it started to realize I could have him for a party was when we were just playing music one night, we had a friend over the play drums. And he jumped on and played along with the music. I'm like, oh my God, it makes it sound like the bands here. So when I didn't have, I didn't want to spend a ton of money all the time. I would just have a drummer and then we do pre-recorded music and the drummer would play along, had the monitor right behind his head so you could get in.

And it always sounded amazing. So then when I had parties, I would just play music and hire a drummer. And then it's really amazing. And then you'd also famously turn the reverb. I like a lot of reverb. I do like a lot of reverb. Because as you explained it on our previous show, you would listen to songs like Billy Joel's The Downeaster Alexa and say,

oh, he's using a lot of reverb on that. And you would turn it up because obviously he liked reverb, so why shouldn't it be all the way? Why shouldn't I do more reverb? Very often do it. I love reverb. I'm always, you know, I don't forgot how long I always liked it, but there's a lot of videos with me. Someone made a montage of me going, can I get a little more reverb? Can I get more reverb?

I like it so much that there's a, in Chicago, a guy came up to me after the show, and he handed me this microphone and not the microphone part, but you know where you plug into the three-pronged thing. There was a little button on it. And you could run that into the back of the reverb thing where the foot pedal would normally go. And I could turn the reverb on and off from my microphone. Boy, was that fun until I wore it out. you could buy a new one. I know I have it in all the years. I don't know why.

You gotta. You think I should? Yeah. How much could it be? You know what if it happened a lot? And that's probably what keeps me, sometimes my, my this part would hit the reverb so it was always coming on when I didn't want it to.

That's even better. That's even better. We should set up a go fund me for this, for this piece of equipment for you. Really? Yeah. I'd love to do that for it. All right.

Cool. I'm not going to pay for it myself. I'll set up a go fund me. You know, instead up a go fund me just for a money I need to stuff. Enjoy life. see how big. By the way, the last time you were on the show,

what happened to your, was it the big show, the residency show? Long story as short as I can make it. We did do the shows. We did 15 shows as part of the New York Comedy Festival in a very little room, but it was really cool. I had six, seven-piece band in there,

and we did 15 shows, and they all sold out. It did well, but it was a small room, but New York, that's even an accomplishment. But the goal was always to then, go back to a more legitimate place. Right. And then so we did that.

Now we're going back to Joe's. So, you know. So are these shows at Joe's? Yes. The same shows as the ones you were talking about. Yes. A couple years ago. Yeah.

And there is no better time at the theater than this. Let me tell you something. What? I said there's no better time at the theater than this. What do you mean by that? Meaning when people go there, you will never see anything better or have more fun. You know, for what it's worth, by the way, people can go online and see Todd Glass the Event of a Lifetime. There's a two-minute highlight reel.

Oh, I get it. The guts of the show are stand-up, but there's a lot of production around it. Sure. But if I can put modesty aside for a second, you know, I still really enjoy stand-up, and I'm at my best. Yeah. I work harder now doing it than I've ever worked my entire life, and it shows. And it feels like it shows on stage.

You know, I feel it. I feel the difference. And I would always say, like, if 10 was the best audience, I came up with this thing in my head one day, if 10's the best audience member, them all, I'm always going to do good. But seven, let's say there's seven. seven out of ten. Well, what's seven mean? If they're not talking or they wouldn't be sevens, they're just not giving me what I want. They're watching the show. And I thought, they deserve something for that. They're not, what are they doing wrong? If they're

sevens, if they're threes, I don't give a fuck about them. But if they're sevens, don't they deserve something for me? All they're doing wrong is not giving me what I want. And I got tired of losing them. And I would. I would lose sevens because I would be all over the place and I tighten the show up. I work harder on it. And it feels good to be on stage and go, these are sevens. So now are the sevens? I can get them, I can get them. I can get to 10s. You can get them to 10. Are the fours going up to sevens? To be honest, I'd never really workplace with fours anymore. You know, you're good con... Sevens. Sevens are the bare minimum. Sevens are sort of, yeah,

I don't work... So you're getting the sevens up to tens. Tens, stay at tens? No, they go down the fours. That's the problem. I don't know what to do. Um, no, of course they do. So 10s stay at tens, nines go up to tens. I'm not doing any of these questions. Eights go up to tens as well? Yes. Okay, so everyone, so there's The bare minimum is sevens. Everyone is going up to 10. Everyone's going up. Everyone's at a 10. 10 can be 10 plus.

No, the 10s. The 10s are already there. I just said that 10s are. Now, what am I answering you for? This is what I do and I start to sweat. This is why I need the AC cranked in here. So almost saying if you go out to the show, I, I, uh, Todd, I got to interrupt here. I feel terrible about whatever I said to you at this party.

I want to sincerely. What do you do? No, what did you say exactly? No, no, no, you went like this. You went, what's it with this? And I went, I wish you could remember what you were wearing. I know what I was wearing. I was wearing these pants.

When I say boots, can anybody help me here? It's the boots. Was it the boots? I don't, could have been everything. Could have been my tattoo. Maybe you thought I was trying to. No, you've had that tattoo for a while. I remember when you got the, Todd used to be.

Then you asked me a story about it. I remember everything. And I love you. I really do have affection for you. You've been, you know, I tell this because it's in context. The, making me a part of the M-bar, and I've been doing comedy for so long was let me figure out who I was

as a stand of comedian. They were the they were hot crowds. They were the best times and you really included me in that. Yeah, well, I'm a huge fan. Yeah, and I really do have a great affection for you. But that night, I was like, and then you were asking me about my tattoo

and then you know, what made you do that? And then I answered you. And then you like went, you did. And I went, no, you can't, don't do. I say, it's a line I use a lot. Don't do shitty crowd work on. me. You know, that's where you ask a question, you know, the answer, then you just, you're creating

entertainment. I go, you ask me about it. And I go, Scott, do you really want to know? And then you said, yeah. And then I answered you, you went, and then I was like, oh, I'm dumb with him. Now, that's a bit, though. That last part is a bit. You have to understand that bit. Yeah. I know, but it's at my expense. Yes, it wasn't your expense. Now, let me, first of all, let me just apologize, completely. You don't really have to. I do want to. Okay. I hate that you've been carrying this around. for a while. I sincerely, sincerely apologize. Thank you. Now, that said, I have been thinking about that particular

party, not that night, but that social event that happens every once in a while. And I feel like there have to be blanket amnestys for people at parties where everyone is super drunk and high, that we all just kind of go like, whatever

happened that night, everyone's just like out of their minds, right? Now, you are, are you a teetotaler? Or you, you still take drugs, right? I smoke pot. I've smoked pot and I've done mushrooms. So you're probably paranoid that night, right? Don't turn it on me. Oh my God, how dare you? I'm going to talk to the psychic when she gets here. Okay. See if she can help me out. But I do, I do think that those particular parties in general where there are so many substances there. Were you on any? I, yes.

What were you on? I mean, I don't want to list my entire medical history here. No, tell me what you're on. Was it more than one? Were you on pot? I remember that night just being like... LSD? Were you coked out of your fucking head? And that's not an excuse because one shouldn't hide behind those types of substances and say... Because sometimes they reveal who you actually are. I'm just saying that particular series of events, sometimes I feel like, you know, I had some similar people giving me some stuff.

Oh, really? You leave it and you kind of go like, everyone's cooked out of their mind. Not cooked out of their minds. I knew it. I knew it. Now, I don't think you were. I can... You think I was just stone cold sober.

No, no, no. You might have been on something. Because we were also talking... When someone's coked up, maybe you were, if you're... I was not. Yeah, because we were still talking about other stuff. And usually when someone's on coke, it's like... Right.

You know, no one ever says... You know, that's... Never mind. Anyway, but I, again... Thank you. I apologize. And yet, I feel like one shouldn't have to apologize after a night like that. And you don't have to.

But I... but I do want to. But I appreciate it. All right. Can we, can we, we're friends. Yes. We love each other. Right. We have a long history together. I feel like you might be making this worse than it is. Oh, did you not think it was bad? I want to, I want to make it exactly as bad as it actually was. I love you, Scott. And you know, you, you don't have to apologize.

I want to. You might think why did I bring it up. I think you, you know, I used to have an expression when I was, I don't know if it was, I've used it over the years when you have a little problem with somebody and I, and I, go, let me tell you, I have this thing. I go, if you should only bring something up because it's the biggest deal in the world, like when I want to approach somebody, if someone said, no, only bring something up, it's a big deal. I don't agree. No, I'm saying hypothetically, if somebody said, don't bring something up to a friend or a loved one, unless it's a big deal, I wouldn't bring this up. But the truth is, it doesn't have to be a big deal. It doesn't have to be a big deal. So that's what I would say about this. Yeah, we let things, even if it's a small deal. I don't want ever to have any interaction with you for you to leave saying like, oh, that was

an unpleasant interaction. Well, now you can, now that's sweet of you. Thank you. Okay. We're, we're good? Yes.

Now I want to see these boots. Oh, hold of them. I have a picture. Can you show me a picture of these boots? I'll send them to you. You'll send me the boots? I think I have.

Send me a pair of these boots. And see, and see what you think when I wear them to a party. It could have been the whole outfit. You probably know. Hold on. Just give me one second. I'll give you a second to look at the boots.

It's not boring to anyone. Everyone. the type of Todd Glass interaction that people love when they listen to the show. They don't know what people love. People love when they hear our interactions, of course, March 5th, 6th, and 7th in New York City at Joe's Pub. Thank you. It's on sale, I would imagine, at Todd Glass.com. And these boots are...

Made for walking. Are you searching through your photo library? Are you doing a search for boots? No, no, I'm just like scrolling through my pictures. Just, okay. So you have pictures. of you in these boots at the ready. Yeah, but I don't have them. I don't have anything. You don't have them. Oh, well. That's okay. But what's it matter? What's it matter? I mean, I'd love to see him just so I could say like, oh, okay. That was that what? No, they're pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty tame. Okay. What color? Brown. Brown leather. With these brown pants. You're wearing the same pants. Yes. And then what was on top here? A shirt like this in this jacket. See, I don't know why I would have said something like that other than the boots. He was like this. Must have been. What's it with this?

And I thought, what did he think? Well, I did think about it later. I thought, what I wonder what he meant by that? What's it with this? You can't say nothing. You meant something. I obviously did mean something. Yeah, but thank you for, thank you for not.

I'm just wondering what it was, what you were wearing that made me act like that. Yeah. What's it with this? But you were coked up. I mean, you know, I know you say you were, but it sounds like you slip. I think the way you were dressed made me act the way I acted. And that's, and I would just love to know what way you were dressed. Oh, thank you.

You're welcome. Todd, let's hug it out. Come here. No, you feel like, well, I'll hug it out. Yeah, I want to get over here. No tongue. Oh, just a hug. There we.

I'm sorry. I got carried away lately. I've been lonely. You know what? How long ago was that party? It must have been a year and a half ago. Yeah, yeah, because the last one got canceled. Yeah, I hate that you've been sitting here thinking about that for a year and a half.

And you haven't invited me to your parties because of it. No, no, no. That was way before. That was way before. But remember what I just said? It doesn't have to be a big deal. Like, you know, I still have affection for you. It wasn't like...

Oh, yeah, exactly. I've had things that maybe happen with people that are a deal breaker. I'm done with that person. This wasn't like that. No, no, no. But I know what you mean. I know what you mean? Like, every once in a while a friend will say something untoward and you kind of like go,

eh, you know, they're my friend, but I didn't like that. And then you hold on to it for a while and it becomes unpleasant. And I'm glad that we got that out of the way. Thank you very much. I still love to see those boots. Okay, I like that. Yeah. What if they're like, hey look, and everybody should wear what they want, but they're like over my knee,

laced up with red laces and I guess eight inch heel. And then you go, oh, I'm like that. Oh, of course I was right. Yeah, you just said, you know. But the tattoo thing is even worse. Thank you. Because your tattoos are great. Well, thank you.

Explain like. No, no, no, no, no. Because I never talk about my tattoo. Matter of fact, if somebody asks me about it, I make it so quick. I go, you know, I didn't know what to do the night before. I just said that I just improvised and just do what you want because it was going to be so dense I didn't care. That's it.

I don't want to, please. Because you know what? I noticed people with tattoos, sometimes at the gym will tell you you have a nice tattoo because they want you to compliment theirs. And I'm so on, I don't want to talk about it. So I just go, oh, thank you. And then I just move on.

Why not give them the compliment about their tattoo? I can't even, I can't even conjure up any. Oh, yours is cool too. That's perfect. No, you're right, but why can't I? I don't know. Yeah, why not? Do you not like tattoos?

No, no, I like, I like, I like, you know. Do you not like interactions at the gym? I understand that. No, I like them too. Yeah. You're at the gymnasium and you're in your, I go to a high school. I go to the high school. And you're just, you're in your own world and you want to finish your sets and

even if it was at Sarah's party and someone came over. And then when I like your tattoo, I go, oh, thank you. And then I would just go, Did you just get here? I try to change the conversation. Because you don't want to talk about it. Somebody else could walk over like you. And then if they heard me, even for a half a second going,

oh, well, I put initials on it and my favorite people I like to go, Oh, Todd's talking about. Todd's talking about his tattoo, everybody. Clear the area. What? Yeah, Todd's talking about his tattoo. Hey, did you hear? Todd's in there.

I'm not like, he's talking about his tattoo. Oh, Jesus Christ, with those boots. Aye, yeah, y-ye. Always funny to talk far away from the mic. Is that true about the initials? No. It's not. No, I made it up.

Did you really? Yeah. A little lift up. Oh, you're so goddamn. I want to see. There, see, there's no initials. No. It's great, though.

There. I got it over on them. There are initials. What? Yeah, a little closer. Where are they? There. There.

Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Look at all those. Mr. Rogers. even Doug Benson, I put getting high with Doug. I was lonely.

What? Let's talk about other stuff. Let's talk about other stuff, including these incredible shows at Joe's Pub. Joe's Pub, March 5, 6, and 7. Can people just show up or are these on the verge of selling out? How dare you think I work these type of places? People just show up? But people could just show up.

Well, unless it's sold out. Well, I mean, even if it's sold out, you'll make room, right? I probably would. Sit with these people. And again, you're going to enjoy these shows. The times I've had in my life where I've watched Todd Glass and just laughed myself silly. And you always leave feeling joy.

You never, it's like, there are a lot of comedians where you go and you laugh and you're just like, boy, You know, I have, I've had like periods of my career. I don't really talk about politics ever, but social issues I'll dabble into. And I decided not just for this. Maybe I will in three years.

Maybe I'll want to do it. It's not like I'm going, oh, I'm done with talking about social issues. But for this, I really did just want to make it for a lack of a better way. Just I can still be myself. It's not like you have to jeopardize who I am, but a feel good show, just a feel good show where people leave and they feel good. And it's a happy, yeah, it's a very happy show. The band is just out of this world. How many pieces in the band?

There's seven pieces in the band. Wow. Seven pieces of band. And they play and they're good. They open the show and they don't dilly dally. They play. Let me tell you something. What instruments can do in two minutes, the opening thing is under two minutes and they play. Like not just noodling. It's like horns and they're well. It gets people's blood flowing. And I know it because I just went to a show and the opening band was great. They were great. But when Andy Fresco came on and that horn section came in and they're playing, we're like, wow. we woke up. It's just so I go, you can get that from two minutes in a band.

That crowd of it, you know, it'll wake them up and get blood throwing through their body literally. And I think it helps the show be better because I have this alert audience, you know. Fantastic. Well, I implore everyone in the New York City, maybe New Jersey, too. New Jersey, come on over. Yeah. Well, what's, how far would you say? Hope, Hope, it's not worth it.

Oh, not worth it. Well, I don't know. Like if they're coming from the Bronx. Yeah. Right. Right? Yeah, that would be worth it. Maybe, you know, I don't know if people get a hotel. You know, whenever people come up to me after a show and sometimes it's happened, they'll go, hey, we drove here from blah, blah, blah. Number one, it makes me think, oh, that's why I want to do a good show all the time. They drove. But I always go, oh, you're staying over? And because I want to know. I've had that too. And because there are a lot of people who go, no, no, I'm making the drive back now. And I'm always like, be careful, please. The same thing. And I go, I get sort of stressed out for them. I'm like, whenever they go, oh, yeah, we got a hotel. I'm like, oh, cool, they're making a night out of it. But when they say they're driving right back, I'm like... There are people who are like three, three and a half, three hours, 45 minutes, three hours, 50 minutes away.

Yeah, seven. And it makes you really appreciate seven hours, you know? No. But it makes you appreciate, you know, do a good show. You got to do a good job, even if people are sevens. Even if they're sevens. Yeah. Does that make sense to you honestly?

It does make sense. Sevens to tens, yeah. Yeah. I wish that the tens, people who are already tens, I wish they would invent like a, They don't need to do anything else. I mean, they're already there. They can't get it any better. They don't need to be any more than that.

Exactly, yeah. Well, you're going to come in a seven and leave a 10. Well, I hope they all come in tens if everything goes my way. When you go see Todd Glass at Joe's Pub. If you wear a bow tie, they'll sit you in the first row, by the way. Is that true? Well, we saw a little bit. And why is that?

Because you have a bow tie chunk that you... It used to be on the podcast. I would say, wear a bow tie. Make my shows seem better. You know, and people were bow ties, and I would tell the door, man, by the way, if they are wearing bow ties, they're probably podcast listeners. So put them, like, in the first, put them in the first two rows. It's like a little inside joke, but it also classes up your show.

He said there were certain people that had their bowtie in their pocket, and they go, I don't have it on. They go, yeah, you're fine. And then they wouldn't put it on? Well, some they didn't want to wear a bowtie. Maybe they didn't want to wear a shirt. That negates the whole premise of the whole thing. Get them out of here.

Don't even let him in. Get them out of here. No, you're not coming in. No. No, no, no, no, no. Get this guy out of here. Doesn't want to work. You wear your bowtie. You're wearing your bowtide.

That guy was going to be a six. I guarantee it. Well, come in a seven and leave a 10 March 5th, 6th, and 7th at Joe's Pub. Todd, we have to take a break. Thank you. When we come back, we're going to have a substitute teacher and a psychic. I know. You're here for a great week.

I love it. I'm very excited. We're going to come right back with more Todd Glass. More Comedy Bang Bang. We'll be right back after this. How many bang bang were back? Todd Glass is here. During the break, we had a really deep conversation

and we sorted everything out and now we're the best friends again. You heard the beginnings of it on Mike, but we stopped down for probably 30, 35 minutes and we really, we hashed everything out. We did. It was sweet. It was nice. Because that was just scratching the surface

of things I did to you, things you did to me. People don't know that, listen, they're like, was that, was there truth for that? This was not a big deal. It was not a big deal, but I'm glad that we got it out of the way. Me too. That I was a mad about it and apologized instead of sitting on it for a year and a half and not ever saying anything.

Oh, thank you. Like some people. I appreciate it. No, you're a sweetheart. Thank you. You're welcome. We have to get to our next guest. Is that okay?

Of course. What we're here for. He's been on the show. Multiple time. Are you entering the two-timers club, I would say? When I say multiple times, I mean, this is his second appearance. He's a substitute teacher. Please welcome back, Mr. Gunlock. Hello, everybody. Hi. Hi. Great to meet you. Thank you all for staying. See you again. Obviously, I've met you once before. Scott. Yeah, you look familiar. I think I've had you before. Well, you were on this podcast before. Right. I was in for Ms. Maxie that day.

That's right. Oh, oh, that's right. I thought I was having a teacher on and you were. substitute teaching that day, so you came in and were on the podcast. That's right. I thought I was in here for Mr. Orozco's 10th grade math. Right. No, it was a podcast appearance, yeah. Today is? Today is as well.

I'm back for that. Okay. You're back for that. Yeah, this is Todd Glass, by the way. Hello. Oh, hello. Nice to meet you. Great.

Yeah. I didn't recognize you. Okay. Nice to meet you. I mean, we're also full grown adults. So, I mean, that. True. Yeah.

You're used to teaching 10th graders? I do middle school and high school. Just substitute? That's right. Did you ever full time? I don't say just. Oh, I'm sorry, you're right, you're right. Yeah.

Did you? Sometimes I'll say guest teacher. Nice. Yeah. That's fun. Did you ever teach, like full time? No, never did. I'd like to keep my time open for my hobbies.

Yeah, what are your hobbies again? Refresh my name. I got lots of hobbies. We talked about a couple of them last time. One of them was ghost looking. And I'm also... What is ghost looking again? It's like bird watching.

Oh, okay. But it's ghosts. You're just trying to spot the ghosts. We're not trying to interact with them. You're not trying to bust them. How many of you... I'm not into busting ghosts. You would have to say so if you were, too.

That's true. How many have you seen over your entire ghost-looking career? Well, let's see. When we were here last, I had seen two. Okay. And now I have seen four. Okay, so two in the last, I mean, you were here maybe a year or so ago? A couple years, maybe, yeah.

Okay, so that's an average of one a year. That's good for ghosts, right? It's like me on the show. Yeah, exactly. You ever seen any ghosts, Todd? I never have seen any ghosts. Yeah, if we're going to go ghost-looking, what do we look out for? Well, you can either try to find out.

naturally by, you know, just about anywhere people have died. Yeah. I don't think there's a corner of this earth where people haven't died. Right. So you can start anywhere. Okay. Just start looking around. Just start looking around.

But what I did, I went and tried to see a famous one. Oh, which? I wanted to add a famous one. Okay. So who's the famous ghost? I went and saw Resurrection Mary. You know her? She's from Chicago.

I don't, I guess I don't know what that actually is. Oh, she's like one of those hitchhiking ghosts. Okay. Where you pick her up on the side of the road. She's like a woman in distress in the middle of the night And you give her a ride somewhere Okay And then at some point she disappears from your car

Oh, okay Huh, what a scam In front of a graveyard She asked you to drive her home And then she drives you drive to a graveyard And you're like, oh, this is not a house It's a graveyard and you look over and she's gone Oh, so you went looking for her

So you wouldn't have been surprised at the graveyard reveal I gave five different actual women a ride To a graveyard Yeah, that must have been scary for them Yeah, they're like, why'd you stop at this graveyard? And I'm like, come on, do your thing. And then you had to end up taking her to Hoboken or something. But I had to finally listen to the address she gave me before.

That's right. Yeah. And by the way, are you also an Uber driver? Is that why you were picking up all these women? No, I don't know why they would get in. They look like, I tell you, they're in distress. That's why you always have to make sure the PIN number and the name, you know, don't just go getting in random people's cars.

Other people need to do that. Not me. No, not. Because I'm not doing it. No, obviously not. So you finally did meet her, though. Yes, I did pick up resurrection Mary. Okay, and then the whole thing, at that point were you so inured to the people getting in your car that weren't her, that you were like, all right, where do you want to go?

And then it turns out to be her? Kind of a letdown. Wow. Oh, really? Yeah. So it just disappeared and that was it? Yeah, that's it. And then I was like, well, I've been waiting for it all night.

There's no talking? There's talking on the way, but she doesn't say much. Is it like, what? Do you chat? Yeah. She started with like whimpers. I said, where, whoa, how did you find yourself out here on the road? And she's like, come on me here.

She doesn't give real specific answers, you know? She's been doing it for years. But are you thinking at this point? Like, I think this is a... I got her. I got her. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. But it'll let down, unfortunately. Right. Because, I mean, you don't want to reach out and try to touch her or put your hand through or anything. Right. Why? Because if they're not a ghost, then you're sexually insulting.

That's a good point. My thing was, I'm a ghost... I'm a ghost looker. Oh, yeah. You're not a ghost toucher. I'm not trying to interfere. I just want to experience it. Got it.

Got it. So that was your third or fourth? That was my fourth. That was your fourth. And who was the third? Was that a random, not a famous ghost? I count this, but it was more of a shadow. Oh, okay.

So you saw a weird shadow and you thought it might have been. Corner of a shed. Okay. That's not a big deal. Well, it seemed like a big deal to me. Well, I mean, was it your own property? I put it in my book. Yes.

Wait, you put it in your book? Yes. A ghost-looking book. Oh, okay. Not something that's published. No. No, not of course. No. Okay. So you were...

Someday, maybe. Yeah. Was this on your own property and... That's right. And there would have been no one there and then you saw a shadow of something. Correct. So, I mean, I can see how that would count because if no one is there on your property and you see someone shadow, are you sure it wasn't your own? Oh, positive.

Okay. Yeah. Oh, positive. Have you just... That's my blood type. How did you know that? No, I think that's what you said, actually. Oh, okay.

So it wasn't your own shadow. No, I was looking into the sun. So my shadow was behind me. Okay. There was a shadow coming from the corner of my shed. Had a hat on it. Okay. Like the Babaduke?

Like a top hat? Oh, it could have been a Babadook. It might have been a Bobadook. I got to start a new book. Well, this is fascinating stuff. That's just one of your many hobbies. Yeah, fire tending was the other one. I collect fires.

I'm part of a group that collects famous fires. Fires that have already started. Correct. You stoke them and you tend them and make sure they keep going. We keep them alive and going, and we take them to different shows. and we show them off to each other. This is the Chicago fire. This is the, you know, someone,

a real popular one is the Palisades fire from last year. Everybody's got that. Oh, really? You guys have that one? It's not worth very much. A lot of people have that one. Yeah, yeah. Well, I hope this doesn't sound ignorant,

but like when you say you have like a piece of the fire, so you just have like, like, if it's a house that burned down, you have like a. So someone basically like takes the embers from that fire and you take it on tour with you. Right. I'll go up to a smoldering ruins of someone's home or something like that and I'll light a candle or something. something and I got a piece of that flame from that and I'll keep that alive at my house.

Yeah. So the Chicago fire, that's been going on for now over a hundred years. Yeah, that's a very popular. Started by Mrs. O'Leary's cow, if I'm not mistaken. I mean, that's what they say. I mean, it's also everything was made of wood and everything ran on fire. Yeah, exactly. So, so, I mean, what are some of the other famous fires, San Francisco?

Well, I have, my best one in my collection is the Peshtigo Fire. Oh, what is that one? And that's less known. It happened the same night, October 4th, 1871, as the Chicago. fire. Okay. It was like 10 times the size, killed 10 times as many people. But didn't get the press? No, because it was in Pestigo, Wisconsin, and all the news went to the Chicago fire. Oh, come on. That would suck. Yeah, but you have that one. I do. That's incredible. And it's just been going for, it's like the Olympic torch. It's just been going for now over a hundred years. Yeah. As far as I am

aware, it's the only part of it that's still going. Nobody else has. No one else has the Pestigo fire. Wow. Where's it right now? That's at home. Just burning? Yeah, I hope. You leave it. fingers crossed or do you have like a babysitter for the fire that you have? No, I feed it. It depends on how long I'm gone. Okay. Like my, my,

an hour and a half podcast. Right. So I fed it before I left. What do you feed it? Just like, pages. Well, pages,

paper. Not out of your book. Not out of my book. No. I have a box of, um, this is more specific than you need to know. But I have a box of old Playboy magazines that my grandpa gave my dad from the 60s and 70s.

And I, I slowly feed that to this, to this fight. How slow? And what page, are you keeping pages in them that you want to keep for posterity or the articles? No, those are, they're used up. They don't, the pictures don't do anything anymore. But I give it a page a day and then I have to give it something more dense to keep it for nutrients as well. Well, why do the, why do the pictures don't do anything anymore?

Is it because just knowing that they're all old or they're all dead? That's a good point, that they're all dead. All these ladies are dead. No, it's just, you know, you've seen it so many times. Oh, I see. Okay. It's no longer has an effect on you anymore. Right. Yeah.

Okay. Got it. So those are just two of your many hobbies that keep you from teaching full-time. Do you have any other hobbies that we have? Oh, you do. Sure. It's wintertime right now. I like to, I like to travel to where there are snowstorms imminent.

And I like to help people out who are, whose cars are stuck. Oh, okay. So the storms haven't started yet, but their cars are stuck for various reasons. Well, if I go there while, while the storms are going, I might get stuck. Right. So I got to get there before the snow, and then I'm ready to help folks. Why are these cars stuck, though, if the snow hasn't come yet?

Well, I get to the place and I set up shop. I'm ready. Then when it snows, he's there. Then when it snows, I'm ready to patrol the streets. So you're patrolling the streets like some sort of vigilante. Right. I'm a snow vigilante. That's how that would go.

Oh, okay. Help people in need who need their car pushed. I'm a pusher. Oh, I see. Different people who do this sort of snow emergency vigilante work have different roles. have different roles. Got it. Some people are shovelers.

Some people are drivers. And you're not actually like making any of the car stuck so you can be a hero. Like people do it fires. Yeah. Hmm. Some people do do that. I have met some people that do that. I consider myself to be more honorable than that.

I need to find someone who's in need. Okay. How many people have you helped over your career of? Oh, geez. I started doing this in college. I met I must have helped 400 people. 400 people. People whose lives could have been radically different or even ended.

Yeah, they could have been 15 minutes late to wherever they were going, for sure. And you've helped push their cars out into the street in the middle of the store. That's right. Amazing. One time a group of us, this is during the polar vortex in Chicago, 2014, a group of us came together, Avenger style. That we had a driver, we had a, and that's the guy. Were people recruited one by one by a Nick Fury type? There was someone who was so badly stuck that all.

all of us who were doing the same thing, converged at the same time. And we all had different sort of skills that we used to get this person out. Wow, that's, I mean, that's a great team because you don't want too many people who do the same thing. Like, you don't want too many pushers on one team, right? You want a pusher. You want a puller. We got, well, I don't need a puller. That puller is going to get run over.

Yeah. If you have a pusher and a puller. But, yeah, no, you have someone who's like, I've got multiple different shovels. Right. Oh, yeah. I got a scoop. I got a scraper. Could you be a pusher and a guy who has multiple shovels?

I don't have a shovel. But I do have muscles. We got to start a GoFund me for these shovels. You know what? You could start. I don't even need the reverb thing. But you could start. Have you seen these people that use a torch now?

Like a big torch and they clear their driveway, their sidewalk off. You know, it's like hooked up to a propane thing. And it's like, you'd be a superhero. Showing up to these things, everyone else is shoveling. And you're like, p. She'd just be done in a second. That'd be great. I wouldn't mind doing that.

I'm afraid if people start having those at home, though, there's going to be less work for me to do. Right. This is just a hobby for you, though. So you're not, I mean, your, your finances aren't dependent on it. No, I don't get paid. I don't, if people ask me my name, I just walk away. Even your name. Yeah. You just walk away. That's right. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't you seem kind of rude. I mean, I don't know. You've never stuck around to find out. Yeah, I would hope not. I'd hope they enjoyed the help that I gave. So let's reenact this here. Like Todd and I, Todd, you and I are, we're a couple and we're, and we can't get our car out. Okay. And you've just helped us.

Okay. Oh, I've just helped. You just helped, yeah, yeah. We don't have to go through the helping you to get out. No, no, no, no. Although we could if you want. All right. Do you want to go back in time that far and do the actual pushing?

Sure. Okay. Hey, you guys need some help. Oh, my God. We do need some help, actually. Stay in the car, I'll push. We're not going to do it without them. Hey, okay, do you want to stay in the car?

Yeah, we'll stay in the car. One of us could help him push. I don't need it. Do you want, do you want one of us to help? If you want to, you can. I just got my leg out of a cast. That's the only reason I don't know. So not you.

You shouldn't drive and you shouldn't push. So you should drive and you stay in the car. Okay, yeah, I guess. By the way, in that, I didn't really get my leg in a guess. I just say that because I'm lazy. Right. Yeah. Okay.

Just so you know. All right. All right. Let's let this guy push. All right. All right. All right. All right.

Keep the wheels straight. Okay. Yeah, sure. Tell me how to drive. I don't know. All right. It's straight. It's, yeah.

We're straight. I'm going to start rocking it. Okay. Okay. Rocking it. I got to build up momentum. Does he mean he's going to start pushing? He's just like calling it.

I'm going to start rocking it. Whatever he's doing. Hit the gas. Hit the gas. Hit it. Lower, slower. slower. You're going to happen.

All right. Now we can fast forward. Imagine I pushed you right out. Okay. I'm pushing. I picture we're both in the car. So we just maybe I opened the door and go, hey. Thank you.

Thank you. Can we pay you? You're talking to my back. I'm walking down the street the other direction. What's your name, sir? waving over my head back behind me. Wow, that was crazy. That was crazy.

What a weird guy. Just walks away. Like, is there somebody in a superhero that does that in the movies? Like, normally they say like, oh, I'm Spider-Man. Yeah. But he just walks away. He doesn't need the accolade. Yeah.

It's like Bruce Banner or David Banner on the TV show. He would help people and move on to the next town. That's what I was going to say, but I thought is it the same thing. But yeah, it's mysterious. Yeah. But you don't do it because it's mysterious. It's all about helping the people. You don't need the accolade.

That's right. I worry you're, you think you're being mysterious, sort of like a David Banner on the TV show, of course, not named Bruce because they thought Bruce was a more feminine name. Yeah, if I was too gay back then. Right. But I worry that you think that you're being mysterious and cool and that people just think you're an asshole.

Wow. I'd never considered that once in my life. I mean, if someone says to you what's your name, it's, you know. Can I roll play? Can I roll play it just have him say thank you to me and I'll be him? Okay. Okay. Here we go over here.

All right. So you're him and he's you. Oh, okay. You're just saying. You're appreciative of him. Yeah. All right. Ah, my leg.

My leg. I help you out here and I rock you out of there. Okay. There you go. You got it. Hey, what's your name? Just turned and walked away.

And we're driving away because we're free. Yeah. What did you think of that. How did that? Oh, he's always out the door. What a mysterious stranger. Yeah, that's your point of view. You're not really trying to look into the object.

That guy may have been an angel. I don't think anyone thinks you're an angel. A snow angel, come on. Yeah, you are an angel. You're a good person. You're a good person. Is that what you want? Yeah, I just want to be.

I don't do it for lust of result. Right. Do you keep records of how many people you've helped? Or do you jot them down in a diary? Are you? I do. I keep a book. So you hope that people will discover this book after you're gone.

This is just a book of tally. This is a legacy. It's a book of tally marks. Oh, really? Yeah. So it's just purely like slash marks in a book? That's right. And you know what they mean.

Right. Over 400 little slash marks, grouped in fives. Right. But it's an unbreakable code to anyone else because they would have no idea what the slash marks in first. No, on the cover it says snow saves. Okay. And do you, every five, do you do the diagonal one? Sometimes I do diagonal.

Sometimes I go straight across. Okay. But that makes it easier instead just doing like 20 slashes in row. They're going to go 510, 15, 20. Exactly. That's a lot easier. You know what, though? Like when you have that many, 400, we should do the slash after like 20 or 50 or 100.

You know what I mean? That way you can go like, oh, one, two, three, four. Instead of having to go 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40. You know what I mean? Yeah. You could do a line that's just sets of four lines in a row tallies all the way across and then just do one big cross. Yes, exactly. That's what I'm saying.

Or yeah, exactly. Or when you go 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40, 45, 50, then you do one line across. So that way you look at that and go, oh, that's a 50. Or, oh, that's 100 or something like that. Yeah. I'll probably start doing that. Okay, great. Well, now you came on the show today.

Oh, you didn't even know it was a show. Oh, yeah. We're supposed to be, you know, I did have a lesson plan. Yeah, do you want to do your lesson? I mean, what subject was it? It was a 10th grade math lab. I don't know what makes it a lab. I mean, I could learn.

You're doing triangles, it says. You're supposed to do 15 minutes of eye ready, and then you can move on to the I excels. The I excels are about triangles. You're supposed to be, there's one unit where you're proving the triangles, remember? You can do the S-A-S or the S-S-S. I mean, it's been, honestly, it's been 40 years since I've done anything like this. And then we're doing the-20 for me.

What were you doing 20 years ago? Oh, that's right. You guys can use Sokatoa to do the sign and the co-sign. S-K-A-W-H-T-O-A. So-K-O-H-T-O-A. Okay, I don't know what it. Sign. opposite hypotenuse

co-assigned I don't know what I mean You know the only thing I know about hypotenuse Is from that show You know K&P K&P, K&P When he goes to

You know Oh, hypotenuse So they've already shortened it down to key and peel You need to shorten it even further To K&P I don't know why because I have a hard time I don't know But I heard that word used in a bit there

But anyway nevertheless And K you're just shortening it Not at all you're just putting a different vowel sound. Yeah, because key. Yeah. K. Oh, right.

It's exactly as long as it was. Peel, honestly, they needed to shorten that. If they're going to go key and peel, it should be key and P. Yeah, right. I mean, I've always said it. Lazy end. They were on this show and I told it to him. Did they?

They didn't take it well. Oh, God. In fact, Jordan was like, I'm getting out of comedy. I'm just going to direct horror movies because of what you said. Oh, that's what, yeah. Can you imagine? That's crazy. Yeah.

Well, I, look. I don't know anything about this, Mr. Gunlock. I'm sorry. Do you flunk us for today? No, I don't do any grades. I'm just here to make sure that education continues while Mr. Orozco is out. I'm here to let you know that if you don't complete the I-XLs by the end of the period, they're not going to be graded.

Okay. You're not going to get points. That doesn't affect me. It doesn't bother me at all. Honestly, I wish Mr. Orozco was here because he sounded like a really fascinating teacher, and that's why we booked him on the show. But, yeah, like a hero teacher who knew, he, like, knows everyone, he has secret handshakes with every single students.

Yeah, he saved a bunch of them from a fire. He said, yeah, a fire that you are tending to from what I... That's right. That's right. I have a piece of that fire. Wait, you didn't start this fire, did you? I didn't start the fire. It was always burning since I got there.

All right, well, look, Mr. Gunluck, we have to take a break. It's out okay. Can you stick around, though? All right, well, let's just wait for the bell. Okay. Just stay in our seats. Everybody stay calm. We're going to take a commercial.

Be respectful. There's no bell here. But look, when we come back, we're going to have a psychic. That's very exciting. I love that. Yeah, so we're going to have a psychic. We'll have more from Mr. Gunlock. More with Todd Glass.

We're going to be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Comedy Bang Bang! We're back. Todd Glass is here March 5th, 6th, and 7th in New York City. Manhattan at Joe's Pub. Go check that show out. We also have Mr. Gunlock. who is here for Mr. Orozco?

Mr. Orozco is 10th grade math lab. Yeah, I was really looking forward to talking to him. Do you know why he's out? I think he's getting a medal or something. Oh, okay. They give you that type of information when you're a substitute teacher. They say why the previous teacher or the regular teacher is out?

No, not typically. And students ask me all the time, and typically I say, well, if they wanted you to know, they'd or told you. Yeah, they keep that pride. But you think it's a metal. I do. Why, do you have information into that effect?

For saving this kids from the fire. Sure, but do you have information about it or are you just guessing? No, I just have this Sokatoa. So you're guessing. I am guessing. It's an educated guess because you are a substitute teacher. Absolutely. Right.

Very good. All right. Let's talk to our next guest. Let's bring them in. She's a psychic. This is very exciting. I don't know that we've ever had a psychic on this show before. Todd, you ever talk to a psychic?

No, no. I never have. Okay. This is our first experience here. Mr. Gunlock, you ever talk to a psychic? Not that I'm aware of. Okay, well, let's, I guess we could have all of us talk to psychics. You have.

What? Oh, my God, are you psychic? Yes. You and I have talked. Not in a professional capacity. Right, right. Oh, okay, got it. Let's bring them in.

She's a psychic. Please welcome Charlene LaTruck. Hi there. Hi. Hi. Great to meet you. Oh, my gosh. I'm happy to be here.

I'm Scott. This is Todd. Hi. This is Mr. Gunlock. Thank you for sitting. Do we know your first name? name, Mr. Gunlock? Clarence.

Clarence. And you thanked me for sitting? Thank you. I thank you all for staying seated. Oh my gosh, you're so welcome. I love to sit. Me too. Great.

Keep it up. Not only are you a snow angel, but you have the name of that other angel and it's a wonderful life. Oh, that's right. Yeah. How interesting. I'm a junior. What's that mean?

My dad was Clarence. Oh, okay. I thought you meant in high school. Is this a Dukey-Hauser situation? No. Okay, good. You're not 16 years old. We should just mention.

No, not at all. Got it. How old of a gentleman are you? Oh, I am 16 and then some. Oh, okay, got it. Yeah, perhaps to the to the second power or something. Sure. I'm 50s. Okay, got it. Charlene, welcome to the show. Thank you so much for being here. Oh, thank you guys for having me.

It's, well, I'm the one who is having you. Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm looking across the room and I'm thinking all of you and I feel like a fool. No, no, you're all my guests here, but I just don't want anyone to be confused that this is also Todd Show. This is a one-time thing. He's on, you know,

know, once every year and a half or so ago. No, that helps me understand kind of the order of who I should respect at the table. Yeah. Great, great. Thank you. And then Mr. Gunlock, he's entering the second timers club. Okay. So you're kind of bottom of the list for me. Oh, well, I'm a guest teacher, so I expect to be treated like a guest. Understood. Okay. But you are my guest, of course. And welcome to the show. You're a psychic. Yes, I'm a new psychic. I'll tell, I will give you guys a heads up about that. This is kind of, I've been recently endowed with some psychic powers. Oh, really? What? How does one get, I always assumed they were something one was born with or when they hit puberty suddenly, you know, it comes across.

But how are you endowed with the powers? And how well endowed are you? Well, I was going to ask, maybe I'm right. I heard sometimes it can happen after like an accident or something or hit your head. That is actually, you're very astute, Todd. You're actually kind of climbing the ranks of who I respect at this table. Okay, well, he was number two. So I don't want him passing me.

Okay, well, just keep a tab on that. You are so close, Todd, actually. And do you guys want the long story or the short story? Give me a combination of both, meaning not too short but not too long. I will try. Well, let's just say I was taking my girl. I have two B. Shonsons, both named Megan. Two Bichans?

Yes. Oh, okay. Bichons. Bichons. Two Bishans. Both are named Megan, one with the G.H. And unfortunately, G.H. Megan, she is facing kind of end of life treatment.

Is the other Megan, like the movie Megan, where it's a M3G? Yes. Oh, my gosh. Yes. Yes. Yes. You can tell from the way I pronounce it. It's M3GEN.

It's M3GEN. Yes. Got it. Okay. Yeah. So unfortunately, G.H. Megan, she is dying. So.

I'm so sorry. Of what, if you don't mind does asking? She's just got like, she's just kind of old. Oh, yeah. That happens. Yeah. She's, you know, a 14-year-old B-Shahn. Okay.

Yeah. They're fragile creatures. Yes, of course. They're beautiful girls. But. Yeah. Anyway, we were given her her make-a-wish, and her make-a-wish was to go to Maui, so I took the girls. I guess I didn't realize that dogs get make-a-wishes.

In my household, they do. Oh, okay. Because I actually, I revere a B-Shan. I put B-Shon's are actually at the very tippity top of the list of people and beings, I respect. Do celebrities get involved in these make-a-wishes? Is it part of the official Make-A-Wish Foundation? They can be. I, you know, I used to have a B-Shon named Megan, spelled exactly how you would imagine.

I'm imagining so many things right now. Do you think it's just the M-E-G-A-N or? No, it had two ends and then parentheses the stallion. Oh. And when she was, unfortunately, she was passing and she wanted a make-wish. And so for her make-wish, I had Jennifer Aniston come over and give her a makeover. Oh, that's good. Did she get the Rachel cut?

She did. Oh, wow. And it did not take. Yeah, yeah. She didn't have the face shape for it. Yeah, I mean, a lot of people got that Rachel cut back in the 90s. The thing about the Rachel cut is that part of the cut is just being a beautiful woman. I know, that's the thing.

Everyone goes like, oh, they go, look, I want to get like just a crop, you know, short hair. And then they show you these pictures of models. Yeah. And you go like, your face is not going to be like that. Yes. Todd, you agree. My fat face doesn't look good with short hair. Yeah.

Did you go, you asked for the Jacob Allorty or something? Oh, yes. Yes. Todd pretending he doesn't know who Jacob Alluret is. No, I know who he was, he's like just into the scene the last two years. Sure. He's our Frankenstein. He's our generation's Frankenstein.

What do you mean? He's my Frankenstein. He was just in the movie Frankenstein playing The Monster himself. Oh, I'm thinking of somebody else. Wait, who are you thinking of? I think he might have played. There were two people that just played the same guy, and he was one of them. Elvis.

Yeah. Right. That's Jacob Allerty. Oh, okay. Okay. What did you play Elvis in? Because Austin Butler played him most famously. Priscilla.

Oh, and Priscilla. And then he's the one who kept the voice. People were teasing him a little like, you know, Austin Butler actually is the one who kept the voice. Right, right. And then this guy is the guy I'm talking about? This guy, this guy segued into being Frankenstein. I didn't know that.

He's pretty good looking to play Frankenstein, isn't he? He was the hot Frankenstein, if you can believe that. I love it. And soon to be Wuthering Heights. Yeah, yeah. He's going to eat a fish down to the bones. Yeah. Like he flipped the cap.

Wait, what? He's going to be tossing it out of garbage cans. I've never read Buthering Heights. I genuinely thought for a moment there was a scene where he eats a fish to the bone. I said two tickets, please. In any case, tell us. I'm so sorry. So I will give you the shortened version of this long story.

So I was taking my Megans to Maui for her make-a-wish final trip. And I did get, you know, we had a horrible late. over in Delta. They just are, they do not care. Where does one get a layover on the way to Hawaii? Vegas. From here. Yeah, it was L.A. to Vegas to Maui. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

Vegas taking those long flights to Maui. Yeah, and I didn't have time to go to Lisa Vanderpump's restaurant. So instead, I just hung out in the airport and I got trapped in one of those massage chairs. And I was in there for so long, six hours in a massage chair. No one would help me. Delta doesn't care. Oh. And I ended up going into kind of a brief psychos. and I think it pushed on a trigger point so hard that I now have psychic powers.

And how did these first manifest? When did you first notice them? I noticed them immediately, Scott. Thank you for asking. My respect for you is climbing. I noticed. I'm at the top, though, so it's like a 10 can't be any more than just a 10. What about a 10 plus?

That's a good point. I like that point. Your ranks are rising as well. I like that. See, the teacher pays attention. Yeah. That's good. No, so I notice it immediately.

I immediately thought to myself. So you got out of the chair. I got out of the chair. I'm shaking. I'm walking down the, the, what's it called when you walk a hallway? Hopefully not the tarmac, yeah. I guess I was just kind of walking through the airport. The concourse.

The concourse. Oh, there we go. Thank you. I respect you a little more. And I bumped my knee on my suitcase right where the trigger point was. And all of a sudden I had a flash in my head. And I started hearing the song, drops of Jupiter. And I go, that's the song of the summer.

the song by train is that who did the job and that was my first psychic vision the song of the summer is drops of jupiter this summer yep coming up yep i mean that's all i you know i i don't want to argue with you necessarily but i mean that that that song has been out for 30 years or so i mean as long as i've known todd Todd was humming it the night that we met i remember that's why it's such good news i love that song i love it saying oh i'm sorry you're saying it's going to be the song of summer coming up? Yes, that's right. Song of 2026. The song of the summer is going to be drops of Jupiter.

So really, and by the way, I'm not doubting your psychic police. Good. We shouldn't. Oh, that, oh, I, then, but you, you, we won't really know if it's a psychic prediction until the summer. No, that's right. But you can take this information. I'm giving you now and apply it, you know, maybe play that apart. Have any of your, your, uh, premonitions come true yet so that we know that you're actually a real psychic or you've just, like, thought about these things? Would you mind if she, I'm an open game.

she wants to like that. I would love that. Yeah. I'd love to hear some things about Todd. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Let me bump my knee really quick and hit that shirt. Oh, you need to bump it every time. Yes, I do. It's a pain in the absolute push. You're wearing shirts, by the way. Your knee is bruised so. So much. It's like. Well, all great psychics are horribly disfigured. Oh, I didn't know that about them. I knew that. Oh, okay. Does my rating go up? Yes, actually. All right. Let's see you bump that knee and we'll hear some stuff about Todd. Ow! A little delayed, but Okay, Todd, I'm getting a vision. Okay, Todd's drink of the summer is going to be lemonade. Well, I think...

Are you a lemonade fan? I like lemonade, but anything you could tell me about myself, like, you know, so... I don't want to come off disrespectful, but, like, where I can go... Oh, my God, that is true, right? That's what a psychic does. I mean, sometimes, like, it's about bigger stuff, like, oh, this year is going to be really big for you in love. Oh, okay, you're right. You know what I mean? Just lemonade. Lemonade is like, and not only that, but once Todd hears, you might, you might actually make it come true because you're like, you know what, lemonade does sound good. You can use this. I mean, I will be honest with you guys. A lot of my premonitions are just kind of predicting stuff for the summer.

Yeah. I think I'm really looking forward to summer. You couldn't tell me like maybe when my boot style. Could I tell you when your dad died? Is he, is he still alive with us? No, he's dead. Oh, well, that would be a reverse psychic. A historian They'll do that Did you just lose somebody you love? Like I see that Yeah but that's all in the public record Isn't it?

Like I could I have a Google machine right here But they oh you're right I could probably figure out When you're right Well I'm happy to give it a try Yeah I'm happy to give it a try

Let me just smack myself in the knee again Oh two slaps Ow That freaking heart Okay let's see Oh I'm getting a vision And it's Todd Okay

the vision is saying that the shoe of the summer is flip-flop. Huh. I, so, yeah, so, okay, so I'm not getting anything about the dad. Nothing. My dad wore flip-flops all the time. Oh, there it is. I know that he had his first heart attack at 30 and passed away when he was 46. God, you got to.

How do you know that? It's on your Wikipedia page. I thought you were. That's the thing. Anybody can find out that kind of information, but not everyone can predict what's going to happen this summer. Right, right. Yeah.

Anything else coming up this summer that would be... Yeah, are there any, like, honestly, terrorist attacks? Here, let me just pop you in the knee there. Ah! Oh! Yeah, you got me, too, collateral damage. Sorry, maybe you're psychic. I don't think so.

All I'm thinking about is how irritated I am that you hit me. Terror. Oh, my gosh, terrorists of the summer. Oh, yeah, I got one. The top terrorist of the summer is... What the heck? Top terrorists of the summer is... Oh, my gosh.

What? What in the heck? Tell us. Tell us. My neighbor's doing a mulching project and it stinks to high heaven. It's going to stink this summer. So he hasn't started it yet. He's going to start it yet. He's going to start it this summer and he's going to have a bunch of mulch on the lawn and it's going to stink. You don't like that smell? No. Can I be honest? I sometimes like it. Do you? Why? It just smells like just fresh and like, you know.

Do you like the smell of gasoline? In small doses. How small. Well, you know. Look, Charlene, Charlene, can I say something here that it seems to me as if, number one, you like the song by train drops of Jupiter. I love it. You also like lemonade. Oh, so good. You're also irritated with your neighbor doing this.

He's done it in previous summers. Yes, every summer. He seems to be freaking mulching blonde. I don't think you're psychic. I think you're just like you have things that you think in your head that are your own opinions. Suddenly, Todd is the number one person I respect in the room. Okay, well, I don't want to go that far. Possibly even a substitute teacher is number two.

Doesn't know my name, though. I know it's Clarence. That's right. And now I know it's Clarence. But please, call me Mr. Gunlock. I'm at work. Yeah. You know, I mean...

Do you have people doubt you a lot? Does that happen? Yeah. What's your reaction to that? Do you feel like you need to prove yourself? It really frustrates me. Thank you for asking that. It's really frustrating to be...

People just don't believe women. And I'm like... I'm telling you. I mean, I wouldn't go. I mean, we believe women. The breakfast of the summer is going to be Starbucks egg bites. Do you like Starbucks egg bites? I love them.

I'm thrilled. I'm thrilled. Everyone should be thrilled. That's the breakfast of the summer. We're all going to have a fantastic summer minus the mulch stuff. You're a real Cassandra, right? Where you can tell the future. I don't know what that means.

Well, we do it sometimes a sub- Middle school sort of Greek mythology. She was someone who had the gift of, of premonition like you, but she was cursed that no one would ever believe her. Okay, then I'm exactly like Cassandra. That's what I said. Okay. Okay, what about with Mr. Gunlock?

Do you teach during the summer? Are you a summer school teacher as well? I do. Okay. What's going to happen with Mr. Gunlock this summer? Okay. Even if it's negative, don't be afraid. Okay.

I have a hammer here if you want me to hit me. Yeah, hit me in the knee with a hammer. Thanks, Scott. All right, here we go. Ready? Okay, that was too hard. You don't have to do all that. No reflex.

Jesus. Oh, my God. Okay. That was crazy. Okay, my prediction about you, and again, remind me your name. Mr. Gunlock. I didn't even remember Clarence's name from two minutes ago. Oh, Clarence, I got it.

Your outfit of the summer is going to be shorts with a shirt. That's loose enough to catch a little breeze under it. That's what you're wearing right now. I love it. It feels good and it looks good. You're welcome, Clarence. All right, that's a good thing to wear. I can't wear shorts to school.

Yeah. I think that's a good rule. Well, you could quit your job. Wow. I could. Have you ever thought about that? Did you ever think about quitting your job? Quitting my job?

Yeah, what is your actual job? Well, my job is that I'm a stay-at-home mom. Might be Sean's. Oh, okay. You like be shons? I love them. I love them. And you were never psychic before you went to that massage chair?

Never once. Here's the thing is I actually, I feel like I never knew anything ever. I feel like I was always so behind the ball. And so now that I have. these premonitions, I'm like, I'm feeling good. But you can speak to your dogs? Well, yes. We have a bit of a connection.

I see. So even before this massage chair accident, you were able to understand your dog's thoughts or, I guess, language? Are they only communicating through barks or are you hearing their thoughts? Well, I got them that pad, you know, where they can step on buttons that tell me things. And you have a button that says Hawaii. Yes, exactly. And then I have one that has...

How often do they step on that one? All the time. So you're constantly going to Hawaii. They're constantly, well, they're asking to go to Hawaii, but I don't take them there until their end-of-life wish. Do you like Hawaii? I love it. I love it. Yeah.

I think, I can see what's going. How do you have money? How do I have money? Yeah. Well, I don't like to bring this up, but I am, you heard my name. I'm Charlene LaTruck. My great-great-grandfather invented the truck. Oh.

The actual truck. Yes. He's the inventor of the truck. What do you do? Take a car and go, like, let's put a pickup bag in the back of this? He saw a car and he said, what if it was big? And then they made a bigger and then they made like an SUV and he said bigger. And he just kind of kept going until they got the truck.

So they made the SUV first. Yep. They made an SUV and then they made kind of like a like a conversion van. Right. And then they made the truck. They made the truck. And then the truck. And then that's the next evolution.

Yeah. We don't talk about the cyber truck actually. Okay. So your name isn't cyber truck. It's a lay truck. Yeah, exactly. And this is a French gentleman? Yes.

Yes. Pierre is the truck. Wow. Wow. Okay, well, so just, and you get a cut on every truck that's ever sold? I do. So every time you guys see a truck driving drive a drive. Every time we see one, you get money.

Well, every time, no, no. No, don't be silly. Scott, God, you can't go lower in the fishing. I'm saying, hey, I apologize. Don't be silly. That's my job. Look, I apologize to Todd earlier, and I'm going to apologize to you right now. And it's equally as important.

Thank you. Okay. I suddenly respect you a little more than what is your name, sir? Never mind. Okay. Okay, we're going Todd one, Scott one, Scott two, and then this color number three. Call me Clarence.

If you can remember it. My dad was Big Clarence. Oh, really? Was he like a musician or? No, he was a local commercial actor. Okay, you're not related to Clarence Clemens. No. No, I'm not.

The big man. No, I'm not. From the East Street band? No, that's not me. Okay, I just want to make sure. I hear Big Clarence, that's the first thing I think of. No, he was in a series of ads where he was going to a store called Mall Furniture. having a big clearance sale.

I love them all. And he would say, I'm here for the big clearance sale. And they'd say, no, it's a big clearance sale. They would still sell on the stuff, though, right? No, this was the commercial. I know, but, I mean, when he would arrive and they would clear. He was a giant. They would clear that.

How tall was your father? Well, in reality, he was 6'4, which is still pretty tall, but in the commercials, he looked taller than the building. Was that through force perspective, or was that some sort of special effects? It was special effects. They used a blue screen back then. It was so long ago. They didn't have green screens.

just blue screens. Right, yeah. Green is the furthest from human skin. That's why we use green screens right now, but it'll work with any color. Furthest, how? The furthest away, meaning... Because all human skin's the same?

Jesus, Scott. No one's green as far as I know, unless they're aliens. Kermit! All right, you got me. I guess they can't use green screens on the Muppet show. We agree.

I agree. Okay, good. Well, look, Charlene, I don't know. I mean, this is... Do you think, after this summer you're going to find out that you're not psychic

because none of these things came true I mean Todd you'll update her with the lemonade absolutely yeah please let me know I mean my hope is that I believe fully that I am psychic

and I just I know that I could do better I could learn how to harness these powers better I've been I've been trying to apply to that school that Harry Potter went to

so that I can Hogwarts not that one the one with the big lady I've been trying to apply to that one lady. The French one.

Yes, the French one. Because the bigger the lady, the better the education, I always say. Oh, wait, the one that all came over for the Goblet of Fire tournament. Yes. I've been trying to apply to that school with the big lady. You realize that these are just fictional books that a notorious turf wrote, right? Well, I don't know. I don't know anything about that, but I've been trying to give my... You can take my word for it.

Some notorious turf wrote these books. Well, shoot. Well, shoot. And they're not. actually real. I'm sorry, but you've applied, though? Well, I've been trying to give my letter to owls and they all just keep biting me. But anyway, my hope is that I can figure out how to hone my powers better and then I can kind of be predicting stuff for the fall in the winter.

Yeah, because everything's summer-based right now. Maybe even spring? Yeah. Well, good luck to you. I mean, I would love for you to come back and we'll see how many of these things came true because we have Todd's Lemonade. By the way, Todd's Lemonade. This is a good brand name. Have you ever thought about selling lemonade? No, but I think I'm starting to think about it. It might actually be your drink of the summer. And we give a percentage to charity. Oh. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just give a percentage to me because I came up. You can do a percentage. You start the charity. So it goes to you. Right. Give it to Bichon-Mick-a-wish. Whoa. Do you know I had an incident. I know we're wrapping here, but with a massage chair.

Tell me. No, what happened? I had a thing where I thought it. Put on a pot of coffee. We don't need to wrap the show anymore. Go ahead. And I'll take a lemonade. fix all this pressure on this. I had quickly an incident where I thought it asked me if I wanted to have, I thought it asked me if I wanted a happy ending. The massage chair? It had a voice? It came up on the screen, you know, where it says you owe 50 more.

And I thought it said happy ending, but it said something else and I don't remember. But so I, no, I don't, you can take it from that. But you, were you excited that you could have received it? I thought I had a three-hour layover. And, oh, you says your massage is coming. like it'll give you a thing like you know it'll buy your like your massage is ending your massage is ending and I go oh my god it's gonna give me a happy ending and I remember just thinking they should put like a drape up or something because it's embarrassing so I pulled my pants down this is a true

story I swear to you so I pulled my pants down I had boxers on but I pulled my pants down to let a little looseness down there and um and then all I know is that I got yelled at that that's exactly what happened to me oh you serious that's exactly what happened to me Wow. And then I got trapped in there and now I have psychic powers. You didn't mention that part of it early. Well, that part was private. Right.

Oh, okay, yeah. Well, Charlene LaTruck, thank you so much for being here. Oh, you're so welcome. Unfortunately, we are running out of time. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Stick around, though. We only have time for one final feature on the show.

That is, of course, a little something called plugs. Wow. This is a club world. This is a club world. This is a club world. Plugs and see. Plugs in my tub. Plugs in my ears.

Plugs in my butt This is a This is a cloud world This is a cloud world This is a flower Electric plugs Medical plugs Plugs for my drugs

And plugs for my butt This is a This is a club world This is a club world This is a plug I love it That's a new one We play a new one

That was great Thank you There it is We play a new one every week of course That was Plug World by computer station. Thank you so much. Computer station. If you have a plugs theme, head over to CBBWorld.com slash plugs

and you'll find everything you need there to upload your plugs themes. Or if you're doing a close the plug-back theme, we have all the stems for the song, so you can do your remixes. And guys, what do we plug in? Todd, obviously you have these six shows at Joe's Pub, March

5, 6, and 7. Yes. And then March 20th and 21st, I'll be at the Creaking Cave in Austin, March 20th and 21st. March 28th, I'll be in Alaska at the Blue for Die. Alaska. Have you played Alaska before? I've never been there myself.

I've been there with other people, but yes. Oh, you, I thought you meant. I've never been there myself, but other people have been there. Other people have been just to let you know. And then so, so Anchorage, Alaska, March 28th, part of that comedy festival. Okay. And then May 29th and 30th at the comedy bar in Toronto on Bloor Street. And then I'm coming to Montreal this fall, if anybody's worried about it.

At the Montreal Comedy Festival? Yes. Okay, so yeah, great. All right. And everyone should go see Todd and travel. If you're going to travel three hours or so, like get a hotel room, because Todd's going to be worried about you. And I stress out about it.

Yeah, exactly. He doesn't want that. No. All right. Thank you. A nice meeting you. Okay, we're not wrapping up. I just wanted to say in case I didn't get a chance.

Why would you not get a chance? I don't know. Are you leaving? Are you leaving? No, everyone's plugging things. Oh, okay. All right, here we go. This is Mr. Gunlock.

Do you want to plug something? I don't have a lot to plug. I just want to promote 15 minutes of eye ready, both of those I-excells by the end of this period, get those things done. Or else you're going to not get grades. So check your schoology, and that's about it. I mean, honestly, I've been trying to finish the homework you gave us, and I can't even get a single question. Me neither. Sokatoa.

Can I copy off you? No, you don't want to copy off me. Sokatoa. You know what I found in school was a lot easier to copy off as C students. A, students, they got their hand cupping it because they're precious. But a C student, they get you. Especially when they're grading on a curve. They want to keep themselves at the top of that.

You know what I mean? Right. Yeah. But C students, they'll put their paper right at the edge of the desk. You're like, thank you. Now, you get half the questions wrong. Yeah, because they don't know the value of what they have. I don't know if this is right. Yeah.

They're more apt to share. Charlene, LaTruck, do you want to plug anything? Sure. I'll plug. Lost my accent for a moment. I'm going to plug. Oh, that happens. I mean, especially to psychics, I would imagine.

You're dipping into so many people's consciousnesses. That is so true. The accent of the summer is going to be whatever I just did. I love it. I love it. You get it. Okay, I'll plug shag. com.

Shag is a improv team in L.A., a bunch of ladies, and we do shows, and we'll post about them on the Instagram. You can also check out Platonic 2 Stars on TikTok. It's Stephanie Burchnow and Anna Betzoller who, and they're trying to go viral. Oh, they're trying to go viral. They're trying to go viral. So they're posting a lot about going viral. Okay, that's very cool.

All right, anything else or your plugs at an end? My plugs are done. Okay, great. Well, then. Since she took up a little less time, can I have one more plug? Yeah, go ahead. I'll have the less. My TikTok and Instagram, always having a ball on there.

And then May 9th, I'll be it. The Netflix is a joke, part of the festival, doing two shows. shows at the lounge at the improv. Oh, wow. Here in town. Yes, here in town. Okay, wow. Okay. So there you go. I know, it's far away, but, you know, people listen to this all over the place. So May 9th. Someone might live right next door and they're like, oh, shit. I had no idea. I want to go over there. Yeah, exactly.

I want to plug, hey, go over to CBB World. You can get the entire archive every single episode of this show, every live episode we've ever done, including, I think, Todd, you've done one or two live episodes. That's boosted your numbers quite a bit. And we also have other shows there, like, college town, the neighborhood listens, Scott hasn't seen CBB Presents where people who are guests on this show have their own shows.

So much stuff going on. Oh, the entire Womp It Up archive. Everything going on over there. You can go to CBBWorld.com. We also have the new Reggie and Forville action figures are available now. They look great. I have them right up here. Forval is a little bit short,

but he comes with two knives. Figures are in stock at figurecollections.com. We also have Vitaliano Jones, Andre P. Neuer, Randy Snuts, Carissa, Big Su, Sprag the Whisperer, and Scott Ackerman figures. More are coming soon, and they are all available for worldwide customers outside of the U.S. at figurecollections.com with free shipping. No, that's in the U.S. with U.S. address or in Europe with cheaper import fees at Action Figure Cellar. That's C-E-L-L-A-R.com. All right, let's close up the old plug bag.

I want to close the bag, babies And I want to close it tight babies I want to close that bag I want to make it right And I want to kiss I want to kiss Everybody now you know All right, that was kiss kiss kiss

Close clothes. That's a good one By Daniel Preston, short too, only 19 seconds That's what we like When we say under a minute we really mean under 30 or more like under 20. Yeah. Yeah.

We want to thank everyone here, Todd. Thank you. I'm so glad we could finally quash this beef between us. Yes. And next time we see each other, you know, you can take a shot at me next time we see each other. Oh, thank you. Yeah, yeah. Either physically you can punch me on the face.

No, I would never, never punch. You don't want to punch me in the face? No, I just might say something. But you'll remember. I don't want you to think, what was that? Not sure. What is that a new haircut? or something like that.

Yeah, say something like that. Yeah, it won't be, it won't be. It won't be, yeah. It won't be mean, horrible. Yeah, but I'll still get my feelings hurt. And then I'll go, oh, no, no, no, no, I told them to do that. Yeah. Okay, good, yeah.

And then Mr. Gunlock, thank you so much. Until I'm scheduled to be here again. Okay, yeah, of course. And let us know if you see any more ghosts. Do you have any on the horizon that you're trying to see? No, I don't mean this, literally the horizon here, but any famous ones that you're... You know, I wouldn't mind to see the ghost of a pope. Yeah.

Yeah. Do they, I, when you think about a ghost, uh, popes die, you immediately imagine them going right up to heaven. But some of them have to be ghosts just wandering around the Vatican. Think of all the stuff they gave up in their lives. That's a lot of unfinished business. Yeah, exactly. Sure.

Like they're not going to ascend until, you know, they have sex ones. A lot of them are real creeps. Yeah, that's right. How many, what's the percentage of creeps? Of popes or in the world? Uh, I'll take both. Okay. In the world, it's 47% are creeps.

47%? It's 51. Wow. Slightly higher. Yeah. Okay. And Charlene Latrach. Hi.

One last prediction here for the summer? Yes. What are the powerball numbers of the summer? Yeah, powerball numbers of the summer. Okay. Powerball numbers of the summer. Here we go. Banged my knee.

Ow. That hurt. The power ball numbers the summer. I'm, okay, I'm not getting the power ball numbers, but I'm getting, I'm seeing, okay, I'm seeing the movie of the summer. And it's a video. I took a, my dogs and she's wearing little hat.

Everyone's going to be watching this in the summer. Oh my gosh, it's the video of the summer. It's the movie of the summer. Okay. That and Moana. I love it. That was last year, but okay. All right, we'll see you next time.

Thanks. Bye.