Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Thomas Lennon, Rob Huebel

Episode Date: May 1, 2009

Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast! As is to be expected, the first few episodes are where the show finds its footings, and that it does! Rob Huebel from TV's “Human Giant”, Tom Lennon from TV's “The State”, and Doug Benson from TV's “Last Comic Standing” make Scott's first episode an immediate hit. Hear some music from today's hottest comedy musicians, have your twitter questions answered, and hear an abbreviated version of Doug Loves Movies on this episode.

This episode of Comedy Bang Bang is brought to you by Audible, the leading provider of audio content on the internet. With Audible, you can enjoy books freely wherever you'd like and doing whatever you'd like. Download a free audiobook and a 30-day free trial by visiting audible.com slash bang bang today. That's audible.com slash b-a-n-g, b-a-n-g. Indie 103, Comedy Death Ray Radio. This is Scott Ackerman.

I'm your host for the hour. I want to thank Soulja Boy for writing and singing our theme song. Very nice of him. I kind of wish he would have mentioned Comedy Death Ray Radio in the actual lyrics, but you know, you don't ask an artist of the caliber of Soulja Boy to write a theme without just kind of accepting what he brings in for you. My name is Scott Ackerman. Let me explain this show a little bit.

Comedy Death Ray Radio is an hour. We are going to be focusing on comedy and comedic personas. That's about all the description I have for it, really. It's going to be focusing on comedy. I will be your host for the hour. And with me today, my special co-host, you know him from MTV's Human Giant. He played the bad guy in the recent film I Love You Man. Bad guy?

There was no bad guy. He played a man with a different point of view than the protagonist. I was just tan. He played the tan guy, pardon me, in I Love You Man. And you can see him on the office season finale. Is that correct? Yeah. Playing another bad guy, tan or not this time?

I'm pretty pale. Pretty pale in this one. Welcome Rob Hubel. Thank you for having me, Scott Ackerman. This is exciting. This is so exciting. I just want to get straight what the show is about. Is the show going to be funny or will we just talk about stuff that's funny?

Yeah, the show is deadly, deadly dry. We just explain what might be in terms. Yeah, we explain why something is funny. We're going to deconstruct. Yeah, that's all it is. Yeah, that's all we're really going to do. I mentioned you're a part of Human Giant, right? You're one third of Human Giant or you're one fifth, I don't know how you guys divvy

it up. Yeah, I think I'm third. Does this just get more? Yeah. It's done by height, so I am four thirds. No, yeah, we do that show and it's really fun. Are you still doing the show? Number one question you got.

Yeah, people keep asking us that. I think we'll probably do some more stuff. Right now we're just all kind of doing different things like we're working on a movie script and stuff like that. But yeah, it's good. Everyone's doing different stuff. Sure. That's what happens to bands all the time.

They do different things. We have solo projects. They always get back together. We have solo projects and we're all getting addicted to heroin and then we'll... How's that going for you? It's going... You know what? It's way easier to get addicted to heroin than I thought.

Really? Yeah. Because what I didn't know about, what I didn't anticipate is that it is so fun. It's like really... It really is. Oh, it's like really fun. If you're out there and you haven't tried heroin, by the way, if there's one message that we can impart to you, it's pick it up.

I mean, it's a great habit to try. I don't know if we should be spreading the word about heroin. I feel like people might have already heard about it. A little bit later, we have our special guest in the studio coming to us. Wait, am I the special guest? You are my special co-host. Oh, I'm the co-host. Yes.

But we have a special guest. We have a special guest. I'm looking at him right now. I see him. He is here. Yeah, I didn't want to actually say that. But he is here from Reno 911. Like, am I pretending like I'm here or not?

You're pretending like you're not here at this point. Okay. We'll just tease. We'll just tease you. We're going to tease you. Okay. From Reno 911. From Reno 911.

Also, from I Love You Man. Hey, Scott. Yes. Real quick timeout. We try to not say 911 when we say rename in the show. You don't call it Reno 911. The worst tragedy in the history of basically the United States. Oh.

I don't know. Pearl Harbor death count. Is it higher than? No, I don't think so. No, I don't think so. No. So what we usually say is Reno 911. Reno, September 11.

Oh, of course. Of course. Let's see what you're saying. Hey, what Rob just did was exactly what we're trying to do, which is, so let's try to not invoke Osama 911. What did I just say? Osama. Wait.

Hang on a second. Reno 911 in no way related to the greatest American tragedy that ever happened. When you created the show, did you actually think of calling it Reno Pearl Harbor? We did. But we felt like that one was just a little bit like from Grandma's attic. That was a tragedy that was just a little too old-timing. Yeah. Have we even finished his introduction?

Do we say it's Tom Lennon? No, it's Tom Lennon. That's true. Yeah. Tom Lennon is here a little later. I'm super confused because I think I'm supposed to not. You're not on the show right now. I'm not on the show yet.

You're not on the show. You're the special guest that's coming out. Here's what I'm going to do. Your mic isn't even turned on. I don't know if you know that. Oh, that's why I can't hear anything in the headphones. I'm going to just curl up in a little ball in the corner. That won't be weird.

No, that's, no. That's usually what you expect. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to give myself a horse bath in the sink down the hall. Do the old- A horse bath? Like just when you wash your privates? That's what that is?

That is exactly what it is. It's basically you fill the sink up and then you just kind of do your pits. You wash your pits? Right. Why do whores care about their pits? Good for dips. What do you mean? A lot of, a lot of John's like to nuzzle armpits.

Get their face and their armpit. But you should certainly cover your, you should also bathe your privates. That's why you're doing it. I think the number one, number one on the checklist of a horse bath. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. I think number one checklist is make sure the water's warm.

You don't want any shocks. Scott, these are whores. These are whores we're talking about. These are medieval whores. I wonder what percentage of the listening audience right now are actually whores. And medieval whores. That's what I want to know. If you're a medieval whore out there, please give us a call 877-903-1.

Okay. What's the number? Say the 877-903-1. 877-903-1. I'm going to go down the hall. We can't take calls. Wash my balls in the sink. And then I'll come back and be special.

Tom is going to be talking to us about some exciting state news, also what's going on in Reno 911 this season. So he'll be coming up a little later. Rob. Yeah, buddy. We're back to you. What's been going on, dude? I like to party.

Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. It's Friday. I'm excited about that. What are you doing this weekend? Well, I'm actually shooting that thing. I'm shooting this little thing for HBO. HBO.com?

No. What's HBO.com? Oh, I just assumed. It's a little website. No, me and actually Tom. And now I feel bad because you're not in this. Oh, yeah. I feel like I should.

That's all right. I'm not in a lot of things. Awkward. I wrote this bit that Funny Your Die has given us money to shoot for HBO. Why would Funny Your Die give you money to shoot something for HBO? It's a terrible idea. I don't know why they're doing that. No, I think Funny Your Die is doing a bunch of half hours for HBO.

So I'm doing like a bunch of people have been doing these little mini-series. Tim and Eric did one. Slovin and Allen did one. Paul Shear did one. Brett Gellman did one. Amazing. A lot of people. Paul Shear is incredible, that guy.

Yes. Two-thirds of Human Giant. Why is he two-thirds? I'm gradually losing stake. He is so talented. He is so talented. Oh. I literally, I always talk about this.

He could do anything, that guy. Is Tom back on the show? I'm in a little ball over here. Tom is actually washing his balls as he's speaking to us. He's washing his balls in a coffee cup. That's not... It's what was available. No, people, I always joke about this, but it always happens.

You joke about me not getting recognized with the group. That's true. For some reason, Paul and Aziz are so recognizable. They are. And I'm just like the other white guy that's like, people do not know me from the show. If people don't know Human Giant, there's three guys, Paul Shear, Aziz Ansari, and Rob. And Paul is a bald gentleman with a gap in his teeth. He's very recognizable.

Very recognizable. Aziz is... People know him from Best Week Ever. Aziz is the only Indian man in show business. The only Indian man with a beard and a southern accent. That's right. Other than Anoop Desai. Yep.

From American Idol. And Rob is just kind of a jock looking guy. Why do you say I'm a jock looking guy? Well, you play sports all the time. What sports do I play? You know, you're always talking about how many sports you're playing. You love to stack them up in a day, like I play eight sports today. I promise you, I don't play eight.

I don't even know what sports I play. You get called back for rapist a lot, right? I do. When I audition for things, I go out for rapist or jock. It's usually date rapist. Oh, sorry. Date rapist who dabbles. Date rapist number one, sports.

Yeah, actually, I did have, this is, I mean, can we just talk about anything? Yeah, sure. The hour is open to us. I had an audition that Tom, if I don't get this, I probably won't because I screw up every audition. But I auditioned for this 3D movie called Piranha 3D, it's a horror movie. Is that a sequel to Piranha? I don't know if it's a sequel.

20 years old. Piranha is a reimagining of Piranha. A reimagining. But it's in 3D in an audition to play this like super douche who gets, you know, murdered by all these Piranha, which like, oh, I would love to get eaten in 3D by like 500 million Piranha. It would be so fun. Oh, that'd be amazing.

All your guts flying in people in the audience. Yeah, but the reason I brought that up, because I think I am like a date rapist type character in that. I don't know why I... Did you get the actual role? Are you purchasing for the role right now on the air? No, I don't think they listened to the role. If you are the producer of Piranha 3D...

I don't think they're listening. They're not listening? I mean, it seems like they'd be producing. They can't spend all day producing Piranha 3D. You'd be surprised. I'm going to call my people and see why I wasn't sending on Piranha 3D. What's going on, Tom? Why is Hubel going in on Piranha 3D, and I'm not the same?

Tom, you're in almost every movie coming out. Here's the thing. I actually lost out in I Love You Man to Rob Hubel. You did. Yeah, that's 100% true, Hubel. We've settled this right now. We auditioned for the same part, and I would have loved to take your part also. Your part.

We're also assuming people have seen this movie. I love you, man. Probably fans have probably seen it, don't you think? Yeah. It was a modest hit. Wow, Scott. It's not very nice. Thanks for the bitch slap.

It made $68 million. Hey, Hubel, come on the show. Tom, come on the show. Tom, you did not write I Love You Man, though, so you have no stake in it. No, but thanks for the bitch slap. Well, you were a big part of the trailer. In fact, your part was one of the biggest jokes in the trailer. Right.

I begged them not to put it in the trailer. That's true. You hit it out of the park. Thanks, buddy. Was that the first time you've kissed another man on screen? Probably not. I feel like I've seen you. I would have re-known 9-1-1.

There's a me and Ben Grant make out for like two minutes. That's why I did minutes? Yeah, it's really long. That's why it didn't get on the air at Fox. Oh, just because of that. Way too gay for them. Yeah. Well, Fox has lost.

They're kicking themselves now. Comedy Central's game. Anyway, but, Hubel, you're going to get, you're going to get prom. I hope. As a guy who's lost out roles, too, you're going to get prom. The minute the show's off the air, the minute the show's off the air, I know you're making a call to your agent. I'm texting him right now.

Block Rob Hubel. Indy103, this is Comedy Death Ray Radio. We're on until 1 o'clock Pacific. AM. So we're on for 13 hours. Standard time. Yes. That would be like the human giant marathon that you guys did, which was amazing.

Yeah. Oh, thanks, buddy. 24 hours on MTV. That was 24 hours of... 24 hours long. You guys didn't sleep. We didn't sleep. We got really drunk when we were in commercials and, you know, when you stay up that long,

I don't think they've ever stayed up for 24 hours straight. I believe I have, yes. You really start to go a little bit crazy, like I pooped in my pants a little bit. Not a lot, like not a huge thing, but like, you know, it just happens. A fair amount. It's a natural bodily thing. Sure. And when you don't have time to go to the bathroom because you're on live TV.

The only available place is your pants. Yep. I pooped a little bit. I peed a little bit. Wait, wait. Quick timeout. Before we close. Are you back on the show?

Tom rushed back inside the studio. Before we gloss over this, you pooped a little bit on live television? Yeah. Just a little bit. During the actual show or in a commercial break? Was it like those little rabbit pellets type things? Yeah, it was one of those. Oh, okay.

I have the ability to switch back and forth between human or rabbit dispensaries, like I can do. I have two different modes. Two different types. What I was asking was, was it like a real, was it, did you poop a lot in your pants? I pooped in my hands. I pooped little pellets into my hands and I threw it away. You just threw it right into the dispensary.

Yeah. I don't know how we got on that. Interesting. We're getting some, yeah. We're getting some interesting background. Are we going to play music on the show? Or do we talk? In fact, let's play a song and we'll come right back.

Let's play the Dragon Boy Suede CD, Dragon Boy Suede, a.k.a. Howard Kramer, track three if we could. Big fan. Dragon Boy Suede. You can catch him at Twitter on at Dragon Boy Suede. You can catch all of us on Twitter, actually. I'm at Scott Ockerman. This is at Rob Hubel, at Thomas Lennon, and this is Dragon Boy Suede with a song, Buy

You Clothes, Do You In Him, Take Him Back, indie 103. Check it out. I'm going to buy you clothes, do you, and I'm taking back. I'm going to buy you clothes, do you, and I'm taking back. Listen up, girl. I got an idea that you gotta hear. Come here, let me in here. As I explain away, we could shop all day and get real thick, yeah.

Are you ready? Okay. We go to the mall and hit pistols, buy you shoes, buy you clothes, bag them up and take them home and have ourselves a fancy show. I'll lay you down and make you more. Change outfits, make you flow. When we're done, it's back to the start to get back the dough. I'm going to buy you clothes, do you, and I'm taking back.

I'm going to buy you clothes, do you, and I'm taking back. Anything you want, we gonna shop until you drop and we won't stop until you're popping every outfit in the shop. But just remember that it's going baby right back where we got it. If you're thinking about keeping anything, forget about it. I got you looking like a model getting busy and a lot of stuff that winds up costing not a penny. No, not a nickel or a dime.

And although it's kind of wrong, technically it's not a crime. You go now, you and me or I wanna, you in my time I wanna, you in Burberry. I'm ready to get it on I wanna, you in Gabon I wanna, you in Bichu I wanna, you in Valenti and plenty of BCBG too. Give me one of those and two of those with soap and toes and three or four of every skirt and shirt and jacket in this store. And they got anything you want baby, no matter what the value. Just be careful they don't want that nothing rips while I plow you.

Indie103 Comedy Death Ray Radio. This is Scott Ackerman here with my co-host, human giant Rob Hubel. Thank you for having me. Reno911's Tom Lennon is not in the room. He's not in the studio. He's not here. He's typically not on the show yet. He's not on the show.

He's not on the show. He's curled up in a little ball in the corner waiting to leap out and surprise you. Is that, what impression, is that the impression of a three voiceover? It's a new character. It's a new character he's working on. There's a voice I do anytime I'm on, do anything Indie1031 related. Cause I used to have that dude. Yeah, that guy.

Indie103 Ryan. I think sounding bored is like the new voiceover trend. I know, I know. I would love to sound more bored. Yeah. Cause I feel like those guys. Actually, I think you could actually pick it up a little for this show. Oh really?

I could pick up my energy level. I'm really hungover right now. You know why I'm hungover? Why? Because I went to this Bill Clinton event last night. Oh, that's right. Tell us a little bit about that. It was really cool.

Did you meet Slick Willy himself? I did not meet him. I wanted to meet him because I actually am a big Clinton fan. Tricky Bill. I don't think he goes by Tricky Bill. He doesn't go by Tricky Bill. Tricky Bill. If you walked up and just said, Tricky Bill.

And they just pointed at him double point and then just immediately exited him. I think if you're Big Willie and you do that, it goes great. Yeah. Big Willie Smith could probably walk up and go true. I don't know if you can say stuff like that to the president. That's cool. So he came out. What you do is you pay like...

No, wait a minute. I think you can not say I'm going to kill you, Bill Clinton, but you could probably go up and say, Tricky Bill. Yeah. But he'd just probably call you a name. Can I say Asshole? Yeah. Sure.

If you want to. Okay. Well, he'd probably call you an Asshole. If you must. But so this thing was like a... It was a big thing for the Clinton Foundation, which they do, you know, all sorts of cool stuff. It was basically just a big cocktail party at the Roosevelt Hotel and people just getting

super drunk. Like, I actually got way too drunk. Nice. And so now I'm crazy hungover, so I'm trying to pick up my energy level. Thank you so much for being here, Rob Hubeau. We're going to do a little... I'm doing you a big favor, I feel like. We're going to do a little feature that you decide to start for Comedy Death Row Radio.

We're going to have some features, some regular features, some irregular features, comedy radio. A little bit later, Best Week Evers, Doug Benson will be calling in with his review of Wolverine, which he is currently watching. Ooh, really? The minute he gets out of the theater, he'll be calling our hotline. I like that. But here is a feature that, Rob, you wanted to start, which is on your Twitter, which

is at Rob Hubeau, you have... We've asked people to Twitter us their relationship problems. Relationship problems. Yeah. And so, but it has to be, you know, obviously 140 characters or less. So we don't have too much information, but we'll try to just give great advice. Whatever we can do. Should we give the advice in 140 characters verbally or no?

I don't know if we could really count them. Yeah, that's true. That would be a pain in the ass. I think it's a good idea just for difficulty. Just give yourself some rules. Whenever you give yourself some ground rules, it's always better. Okay. If you're at home and you can jot down and transcribe everything that we say and just

bust us if we're over 140 characters, we would appreciate it. Okay. So what do we got? Check the Twitter. This is to Twitter at Rob Hubeau. Yeah, at Rob Hubeau or at Scott Ackerman. I told them to Twitter you also. That's true.

Okay. So here's the first one. This is from, what's this guy's name? Giganta. I don't know what that means. So he says, this is the scenario. You bring a girl back to your place, no furniture, just an inflatable bed. How do you close?

It's not really a relationship problem. How do you not close when the only thing there is a bed? Bro, that's the best opening ever. I want to, if I were single right now, I would get rid of my furniture and have only that. Just an inflatable bed. Because then there's no freaking option. There is no plan B. That's actually a smart move.

He burned his ships. Yeah. Why? Burn all your furniture that you can't bone on. No, no, you technically don't have to burn it. You sound like a date-raper. No, no, you do. You sound like a date-raper.

Burn it. If you can't bone on it, burn it. So you're suggesting a big bonfire out in front of his apartment. And you show it to the ladies to show them so they know. I think this may be over 140 characters. I'm not sure. I think, yeah. So bottom line is this guy does not have a problem.

It's smart to do that. How can you not close, I think, is the 140 character or less? You're already winning. Okay, great. Okay, here's another one. This one is Thriller Jesus. I don't know who that is. Hello, Thriller Jesus.

Oh, that's me. Sorry. I love people's Twitter names. He says he accidentally set up two dates with two girls at the same place at the same time. What do I do? You shoot it and you call it Threes Company. What do you mean? What do you mean?

What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean?

What do you mean? What do you mean? John Ritter. John Ritter. John Ritter. I think they yelled John Ritter in there. Oh, you know what? By the way, I don't mean to bring down the room, but Danny Gans died.

I almost, you know, we shouldn't continue with the show. We shouldn't continue with the show without it. How should we have a moment of silence? Danny Gans really died. He really did die, yeah. Danny Gans died this morning from doing 1001 impressions. Oh, maybe we shouldn't make jokes. My wife was in a movie with Danny Gans.

Oh, really? Yeah, he's in Bull Durham. But he has a very, very minor role. I didn't know your wife was in Bull Durham. My wife is Millie. She gets married on the pictures. Wait, has Bull Durham already come out? Yeah, Bull Durham is a baseball picture.

So anyway, that is really sad news. I do feel like we should have. Should we have a moment of silence? Yes, I'd rather not do a moment of silence on the show. Wait a second. Okay, wow. I know. Tom and I will have a moment of silence.

You keep talking. You just jabber over it. Okay, this is my moment of silence. You keep talking. You guys, go ahead. Danny Gans, rest in peace. I hope you appreciate it. Okay, I'm back.

I'm back. I was literally a moment. Oh, yeah. I actually thought you guys were going to do a minute of silence. I came wrong. I got a bitch slapped about my moment. Okay, here's the next one. Let's do one more and then we'll go to one more song.

Okay, this is from .com9000. My boyfriend of two years and I are moving to separate places for grad school. Boom. What do I do? Wow, that's actually a big problem. That's the first real problem that we've read. This is a legitimate problem. Yeah.

Because here's what's going to happen. It's not going to work out. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder and for a little while. It does. I think you're wrong. For a little while it will work out. It will because you'll see her on the weekends. You guys will get together.

Oh, it'll be boner time. Oh, God, I love you so much. It'll be boner time 9000. I love you so much. And then there'll be some other person at your grad school. Some will come up. One time you'll call and somebody weird will answer the phone or something weird will happen. Some kind of a dress book mix up.

Some will be able to get a hold of them one weekend. Where are they? Why aren't they answering? That's so weird. And what they're doing is they're having sex with a different person. And then with Raul. They're having sex with Raul. Yeah, so that's not going to work out.

That Raul that you're worried about. Basically, if you go to separate grad schools, you can count on your relationship following the part. Could I throw something else out? If you go to grad school together, it's not going to work out. Yeah. Basically, I feel like grad school is the death of your relationship. That's your first problem.

So kids drop out of grad school. Quick grad school. If you want to. Yeah, wow, we got a lot of good relationship things here. We really did. Keep them coming. We may come back to those a little later. The thing about not sure your other furniture that you can't bone on is true.

I'm not sure any of that was helpful advice. No, I think it is. The furniture thing is the most important one, I think. If you got rid of all your furniture and just say, hey, I'm in between. All I have is this crazy sex harness hanging in the middle of the room. I'm serious, man. Is the show, the radio show that we're doing right now, are you guys giving advice for date rapers?

I just want to be clear on the theme of the show. Advice for date. That's a brand new feature. We're going to have that weekly advice for date rapers. Let's go to another song. This is our romance lady boy here. Indie 103 comedy death ray radio. To me whilst I was in Hong Kong on a business trip.

Oftentimes my business takes me there in the hotel bar. I met a young thing named Sally Asian alluring. She had four jobs and three at night. She said that she loved England and all things English twice her lucky night. We walked in the streets along Mugu Power Road. The streets were wet. Went to a flat. Watched a rerun of Remington Steel with her 17 brothers and sisters.

One of her brothers smoked at me. I didn't know why. Traveling from room to room. Searching for a room in which to consummate our loss. Traveling from room to room. We finally found one. But I wish that we hadn't lady boy. She had a willy sly young girl.

Sally was lady boy. But I thought I'll never do this again. So I refused the condom. New York! Another business trip. I missed my wife and kids and I was bored. So I went down to Times Square to kill some time there. They really cleaned it up since I was last there.

But there's still a porn store that sells video nasties on 49th West of Broadway. Saw this beautiful girl Asian. I wondered what she's doing there. I asked her if she'd like to share a booth. She said no but I'll get into the one next door. There was a clear plexiglass window between star booths. She stuck her wiener through the hole. Lady boy.

How did this happen to me? What are the odds? Lady boy. But I thought this will not happen again. I rejected the protection. London! Back at home. My wife and kids divorced me.

But that's another song in it on Craigslist. I met a beautiful thing. What went by the name of Alexis? She wanted to go to the cinema. Did I mention she was Asian? I should have known something was fishy as we sat through a midnight showing up to Wang Fu. Thanks for everything Julie knew more. She had popcorn on her lap.

She wanted me to reach into the bucket. And when I got down to the bottom of the corn. You guessed it at the bottom of the popcorn bucket. Lady boy. How does this keep on happening to me? These Asians are so convincing with their lady boys. In wrist long necks. Dude looks like a lady.

Lady boy. Bought a flavoring on the popcorn. The boots of flavoring of an oriental lady boy. Lady boy. Love you lady boy. Indie 103 comedy death ray radio. This is your host Scott Ackerman. I'm here with my co-host Rob Hubel.

He's still in traffic. He'll be here at some point. I can't wait until he gets here. Imagine the things he would say. I'm sure he'll talk about the state. Reno 9-11. He was in 17 again. Have you seen 17 again yet?

Only 17 times. I'm about to see it 18 again. You should see it 18 more times. You're hilarious in that movie. Come on the show and get dickslapped by Ackerman about your whole career. No, it is. I'm going to call this comedy death ray or bait and switch radio. Dude, come in.

It's funny, right? It was your last week. It was number one. We don't need to promote that movie. Because that movie is already doing great. One thing we do want to promote is Rob Hubel and Paul Shearer. We want to promote the Star Trek movie. Star Trek.

That needs marketing. No, that's going to be huge. You guys are doing a screening of that coming up Tuesday, which people can win tickets for. Paul and I have a bunch of tickets to give away to this big Star Trek screening here in Hollywood at the Arclight Theatre. It's Tuesday night. I think it's like at 7 or 7.30. We'll figure that out.

Paul and I are just presenting the movie. Have you seen it yet? No, I'm so psyched. I was talking to Patton Oswald about it and he saw it and said, I was going to say crazy, but it's supposed to be unbelievable. It's too crazy to be crazy. Paul and I and yourself, I think what we should do is have, because you're coming to the screening, right?

I hope to. It is up against another show called Comedy Death Ray. Comedy Death Ray Radio is based on a live show I do, Comedy Death Ray. Every Tuesday with my co-creator and co-curator, BJ Porter. We do it every week. It's a comedy show at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre. Well, guess what? You're not going to have a crowd because of our Star Trek screening. That's fine by me.

What we wanted to do was have people Twitter us. Twit pics of them dressed up as Star Trek nerds. Dressed up as Star Trek nerds or Star Trek characters? Or nerds dressed as Star Trek characters. Let's assume that they're already nerds. Just dressed up as something Star Trek related. Basically, just take a picture of yourself and then tweet it to at Rob Hubel or at Paul Scheer or at Scott Ackerman.

Thank you. You'll get some nude pictures of girls with Klingon faces on their booty. I'll take if there's the Green Ladies. You can send those to At Thomas Land. But only the Green Lady. Green Ladies. That was the 3's company theme. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

Green Ladies, John Ritter. So tweet us your Twit pics of you. And then you'll pick the best ones. Yeah, we'll pick the best ones and then we'll post all those and then we'll give away tickets to Star Trek. Now, this is a big screen. Are you giving out all the tickets yourself? No, no, no. I think a lot of radio stations are doing stuff. We have a bunch, though, to give away.

So it'll be really cool. That'll be amazing. That is going on Tuesday at the Arclight. Also, Tuesday is Comedy Death Ray, which this week has our guest Jimmy Pardo, Maria Bamford, Saturday Night Live's Jerry Miner. He was also the neighbor in Lucky Louis. Tickets for that are on sale at ucbtheater.com right now for Tuesday. That is always a good show. It's intimidatingly great.

This week we had Pat Noswald and Kevin Nieland. They were both really good. Kevin Nieland will be a guest here in a few weeks. I want to hype that. Also, Weird Al Jankovic will be a guest here in a few weeks, which is very exciting. Who is actually the nicest person in the world? Weird Al is my only friend. He's the least weird of all of my friends. I met him through you.

I was so nervous to meet him and he's just like the nicest guy. He's super nice. A big influence upon me when I was a young man. We should talk about what we did last weekend. We had a big weekend. It was amazing. This was Saturday. Saturday we decided to go to Weirdo Land and just make it as weird as we could.

The whole day. The whole day. The first thing we did, we went to a super depressing Back to the Future convention in Burbank at the Burbank Marriott. You may be saying, how does the movie Back to the Future really anchor a whole convention? Well, it doesn't. If you can't get the main people to show up. How many Marty McFly's?

A lot of them. A lot of them. All wearing the denim on denim. The denim on denim. Life jacket. With the best thing together. So many of those people. But also, in addition to...

God, I feel like I'm a great Marty McFly. I'm a great creepy older Marty McFly from one of these things. They had all the DeLoreans. You could have taken a picture looking at your watch. We did. We took several pictures. There's so many people there with their DeLoreans. Who from the picture?

Who from the actual picture? That's a great... I think... Christopher Lloyd was there. Christopher Lloyd was there. Come on, Leonie was there. Taylor Leonie involved in the picture. Wait, Taylor Leonie.

Taylor Leonie. Who am I talking about? No, no, you're thinking of Lea Thompson. Lea Thompson. Yeah, Taylor Leonie was there. Very weird. She was there. But then...

So I think what happened was, what they do is they don't have enough celebrities there from the movie to make it a thing. Well, if you consider Christopher Lloyd and Lea Thompson not enough celebrities. If you consider Doc Brown and Molly... No, they are. But they have to fill up a huge convention center. So they invite all these other quote-unquote celebrities to come and just do signing. So it's like...

Like the guy who invented the actual DeLorean? Yeah. But like Rip Taylor was there. The bad guys from Superman too. They were there. The woman... Biff was there. What about Biff?

Biff was not there. No, he was not there. I can't turn in my homework with your handwriting. Was not there. What was there was one of the girls who was in the hot tub and back to the future too. Two. Biff. Yeah.

Has no line. But the great thing was this thing was so depressing. Does she have a still up so you know that it's her? Yeah. Well, that's what they do is they have a little table and they put up a still of them. Right. You know, their little thing. And then what they do is to lure you over.

They put little bowls of candy on their table. They really do. To like lure you over because they want you to pay for a headshot. Yeah, that's great. That's what they're doing. It's depressing though, man. Like I was feeling great that day. And when I left, I thought about killing myself.

I thought about funny ways to kill myself. Were the dudes who had originally bought who were supposed to get the plutonium, were they there? Those guys. The Libyan people? No, I don't think they were there. I don't think they were there. The Libyans were not there. They were not there.

So that was the first part of the deal. That was the first part. And I got into a little trouble because I took an unauthorized picture of Rip Taylor. Oh, he didn't like that at all. Was there a big Calvin Klein booth set up? Calvin Klein was not there. I thought it was hilarious that when I approached Rip Taylor, there was a man in a denim embroidered Super Friends jacket talking to Rip Taylor.

So I thought I would take a picture of the both of them. And I snapped it and Rip Taylor flew into a rage. Did not go over well. He practically jumped across the table at me and batted the camera out of my hand. Well, that's how they make their money, man. Like if now you have that picture, I mean, you know, you don't bring food to a restaurant. You can't just do stuff like that. Sometimes you bring food to a restaurant.

Well, some, you know, if it's a bring your own food restaurant. Sure. We should open one of those by the way. You also, by the way, don't bring Rip Taylor to a restaurant. You should not bring Rip. Don't ever bring him to a restaurant. He will clean you out. We did a bit with him on Viva Variety called Las Vegas on 75 cents a day.

So it was about like, we went around, it was Mike Black and Rip Taylor going around like eating room service stuff off the ground. Oh, that's awesome. And then getting rides from cops because you're acting like you're super drunk and stuff. That's a great idea. And Rip Taylor was a very good sport. That should be a TV show. This is before I knew that he was going to swat the camera out of my friend's hand.

No, actually, he was a very nice man. Other than leaping like a monster and swatting the camera out of your hand. Maybe that's overstating it a little bit. I think he, but then there's, but then you did pay for a picture and then he got... I didn't pay for a picture. I said, I don't have the money for a picture. So he said, well, buy a luggage tag. Oh, yes.

And I said, well, how much is a luggage tag? He said $1. And then I felt really bad. So I said, I'll give you five. Jesus. I'll give you five for a luggage tag. And then he gave me a lollipop in the shape of his mustache. Yeah.

It's a white chocolate. It's a white chocolate mustache that looks like Rip Taylor's mustache. Can you imagine like a more... White chocolate mustache. That's the worst Prince song ever. White chocolate mustache. Like he's giving that out. Giving that out.

Rip Taylor's giving that out to children. It's like... And then he asked me to sit on his mustache. Yeah. So then the second half of the day, that was only... That was like... That was just till noon. This is just brunch.

So then we got into our DeLorean's and we hightailed it over to the Michael Jackson auction. Auction. Now a lot of people don't know about this. What happened is... Is this the Neverland or where was it? Neverland's closed. This is all of Neverland's stuff and an auction house in Beverly Hills was going to auction all of this stuff and they were having showings of it.

Yeah. So you could see all the stuff before you bid on it. Did you get a credit check before you went in? Was it one of those fancy ones or was it any cummer? It was any cummer. Well, you paid 20 bucks to get in. But what happened was he booked this world tour or some big gig so now he doesn't need the money so he's not...

So the auction's not going to happen. So it was ending. It was like they're going to send it all back to Neverland. So we went there to see all this stuff before it goes away. Yeah. So there's all this stuff in the Michael Jackson auction place and you have to assume that there's probably sperm on all of it. Well, yeah.

We did not have a black light. You didn't bring the black light. We should have brought a black light because it would have been... Yeah. But I mean, there were statues from the yard. I'm sure they had sperm on them. Yeah. I'm sure they did.

We took a lot of fun pictures of this, by the way. They're all on... Statues from the yard. Yeah. Like yard ornaments. Yeah. But it's all of children. It's like children doing handstands and children pulling down each other's pants and really

like crazy... Seriously? Yeah. Like children kissing each other. It was crazy. There's other stuff like he has a huge diorama of the Pinocchio scene where the Blue Fairy comes and brings Pinocchio to life. And in it, he made Disney put a revolving thing of him doing the moonwalk through it.

So it's this beautiful animatronic scene from Pinocchio, and then the background walks through it. He's moonwalking through this famous... It's like, what is that? I have no idea. It's amazing. We have a lot of pictures of this up on my blog, which is ScottOckerman.tumblr.com. Wow.

This is a real plug fest. I know. You can see Rob shirtless next to a Michael Jackson statue. No one wants to see that. Do we know that they're not actual children that have been preserved somehow? He might have magical powers. I'm just asking. I feel like it's worth checking.

I know scientists. My description of it was like, it really was like the weirdest collection of stuff, because a lot of it was just like, what is this? It was like out of the tutors almost. They had all these minnow. Pictures of the Mona Lisa wearing the Michael Jackson glasses and glitter glove. Like just weirdo stuff. Like artwork from Macaulay Culkin.

Yeah, there was. Stuff like that. Finger painting by Macaulay Culkin. There was one awesome thing, which was a finger painting by Macaulay Culkin from 1991. And then right above it is a finger painting by Michael Jackson from 1996. So he looked at the finger and one day I was like, oh, that inspires me. I'm going to do a finger painting. Like eight years later, I have what I have, you've both been to my place.

I've got a bunch of little cherub boys in the Lieutenant Dangle Shorts. I don't think you should be talking about that. And they're all whizzing on each other and like, it's like, you've seen it. It's like that. It's the most upsetting thing. It's called baby dangles. It's in his front yard. It's all these statues of children urinating on each other and they're wearing short shorts.

They're wearing shorts. Yeah. It's so upsetting. Mine's like, that's ironic. It's not ironic. Yeah, it is. It's caused several car accidents. People drive by and they're like, what the?

If you know where I live, you definitely know where I live when you see the little boys out there. Look for it. How many pairs of Lieutenant Dangle Shorts do you have, by the way? Seems like you have a lot of them. I have a lot. I've actually gotten some trouble about that because I've auctioned off too many pairs. Well, no.

I got in trouble from Liz who bought that really expensive pair. The one that we auctioned off with. Because then I auctioned another one off her charity that went for way less than that. Have you ever gotten a yeast infection from those pants? Those pants seem really tight. Can a man get a yeast infection, Rob? Oh, I don't even know. I mean, I got something going on.

Someone Twitter us if that's true. I got something going on. Put enough yeast in a pair of shorts and anyone will get a yeast infection. I assume. Here, take a look at this. Is this? Look at this. Is that a yeast infection?

Yeah. What is going on with mine? Yeah, something's up. Yeah, something's going on. Right? Look at that. I'm just putting a huge asterisk next to this because I don't know what that is. But it's definitely an asterisk or a question mark.

Are we allowed to show our genitalia on the radio? Yes, we are. Please do. Because I don't even know. Like, what is this? This is so like something is happening. You can actually rub your genitalia against the microphone if you wish. I don't want to do that.

Let's go to a song. Let's do a Cracked Out track number three. This is Indy 103. This is Comedy Deathly Radio. Who's in Cracked Out? Brett Gellman. Brett Gellman and John Daly. John Daly.

We're going to come back. We're going to talk to Tom a little bit about the state. Big state news has come up. Also, Doug Benson should be calling us at any minute from, I believe, Colorado or Texas with his Wolverine review. I hear it's good. This is Cracked Out on Indy 103, Comedy Deathly Radio. This is Cracked Out on Indy 103, Comedy Deathly Radio.

Indy 103, Comedy Deathly Radio. That is Cracked Out. Brett Gellman and John Daly. They just counted. They just counted. They counted. They rap count the entire song. They did that live on the Human Giant Marathon.

That was amazing. And I was already exhausted like I'd been up for 20 hours. And they did that. I almost started crying. I brought you back to life again. It was so. It was amazing. To me, it's hilarious.

It's just, it's so, they're counting. You can see them CrackedOut.com. Maybe, I don't know. I don't know. Not sure where they are. At Brett Gellman on Twitter, I know. If you want to hear more of that. So, we have in the studio with us,

this is Comedy Deathly Radio on Indy 103. We have in the studio my co-host, Human Giant Rob Hubel, but we also have our special guest. When is he going to get here? When is he here? Hey, guys, sorry about that. Hey, man.

Hey, what's up, Tom? I'm insane, man. Oh, you're on the 405? Yeah! Coming in from Ohio. Is that a highway? What is that? Yeah, coming in from Laguna.

Laguna Poncho. I love your name. You're mentioning Laguna. You'd have been down at the mansion in Laguna. It's got all the dangles, little baby dangles, whizzing on each other in the front yard. I can't believe you're going to promote the fact that you have that.

Like, you're going to get arrested. You're going to get shut down. Can you actually shut down a house? Yeah, for a bunch of little baby cherubs, whizzing on each other. Little kids yearning on each other. Well, the weird thing is that they're acting like they're not having fun.

They're crying. Their facial expressions. The statues, they look like they're crying. Their facial expressions are all very upset. Yeah. This is Reno 911's Tom Lennon, who plays Lieutenant Dangle. You also started, basically, the sketch show

that you started in was called The State. That was on MTV, similarly to Rob's. Oh, thank you. Thank you for mentioning that. Thank you for mentioning that. You know, and I know, actually, the human giant tried to show a bunch of state when you did the 24-hour, but then they gave you some grief about the music clearances.

Yeah, they had always been grief about the state. But we're big fans. We're big fans of your guys' show. Like, people were always asking us, like, what other comedy shows we liked, and we always tried to say, like, you know, Mr. Show, and so many other great comedy shows. Ben Stiller's show.

And your show is so funny, too. Yeah. But there's, you know, you talk about the music clearances, and that actually leads us into the big state news, which was announced this week. The State DVD is actually coming out every single episode. It's July 14th. It's coming out when?

July 14th. No, Bastille Day. July 14th. Bastille Day. That's going to be huge in France. That's going to be huge. It's going to be insane. Don't go anywhere near the Bastille.

I believe they're going to cancel Bastille Day. No, it's going to get burned down. They're going to cancel Bastille Day just to promote that, I think. Throw away any furniture you can't bone on on July 14th. What's on the DVD? It's all of your...

Every single episode. How many episodes did you do? Here's the shocker. There are only 26, I believe, episodes of the state. 26 and a half hours. 26 and a half hours. Wow.

I mean, because it's weird, because there's 39 Viva Variety. People think Viva Variety was a culty show, but we did way more Vivas than we did the state. That was an easier show to do, though, because there was a lot of in the studio stuff. It was all in the studio, yeah. But the state is hard,

because the state was hard, and the state was, you know, it was a very intense bunch of personalities. We would fight a lot. How many members of the state were there? There were 44 members of the state. 44. That's a lot for a comedy career.

Well, that's weird, because 30 of those are Ken Marino. Wow. So there's actually 11 of us. Ken Marino takes 30, 40 fourths of the state. He takes up 30 of the room. I'm sure there's a way to get the lower common denominator in there.

The problem, Tom, has been always that you couldn't really sit on DVD, because MTV, at the time, could use any song that they showed a video of. That is exactly true. If they had a video for it, you could absolutely use it in any way. They signed an agreement with all the record companies

that they could use any song on any program. And this was the time when MTV used to play a lot of videos, sort of still, seemed like a good idea, and then it screwed you guys up. So, basically, your show is filled with popular songs like Everybody Hurts. Everybody Hurts.

Great call from the time, exactly right. No, but it does have, like, the most popular song of the era. Here's another one, Cannonball, which actually was a real problem. Sure. There we go. So, these are...

Now you can... Now we can go to John Ritter. John Ritter, John Ritter. So, your show is filled with those types of songs, which has been the problem of releasing it on DVD. It's been re-scored. Scott, you're really hung up on this music clearance issue. Well, that's what held us up.

So, it is coming out, and I will say there's a lot of interesting stuff on it. Are there Easter eggs to which people can masturbate? There are Easter... Now, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Why do people masturbate? There's a lot of young Kerry Kenney, who was pretty hot.

Why are people masturbating to Easter eggs and DVDs in their house? Well, like, on the Human Giant DVD, we hid all these secret things where if you go and you find these things... Secret porno stuff. Yeah, secret porno stuff. Secret porno stuff.

And you can masturbate to it. Let me say this, you can masturbate to it for free. Right. I mean, once you buy the DVD, you spend money on the DVD. I've spent $19.95 before I get to masturbate for free. Yeah, exactly. You spend $19.95,

and then you take the DVD down. I'm all in. At the point that I'm masturbating to the Easter eggs on the Human Giant DVD... You're totally free. First off, I'm taking real stock in my life if I masturbate to the extras on the Human Giant DVD.

I think that's how porn sites should advertise. Like, masturbate for free once you pay us. Once you pay. And then there's a little asterisk. No, so the stage is finally coming out. There's also... I know that every single episode has commentary on it, which is cool.

Wait, you guys got all... For real, 11 people? We divided them up, so you'll usually get like 4 or 5. Is everyone still alive? Did anyone die yet? No one has died yet. That was a real gamble on my part. I thought for a second,

oh no, what if someone... No. Don't remember the stage. No, and Kevin Allison once told me that he did cocaine that he found on the floor of porno theater. Oh, he should be dead. Oh my God. But still alive.

Wow. Still alive. I'm sure he's so pissed at you for mentioning that. Alive and well. Oh no, no. He... It's internet radio, by the way. A lot of people don't remember the stage.

I would never mention that on the radio radio. A lot of people don't remember who was in the stage. Just say some of the people who were in the stage. This is going to take up the rest of the show. Oh my God. They're all doing amazing things. There's Michael Ian Black. Michael's Black.

Joe Walter. David Wayne. David Wayne. All of Stella. All of Stella was in it. Most of Reno 911. Because Joe Lutruglio was now on. Joe Lutruglio.

Todd Holbeck. Kevin Allison. Myself. It was an amazing career. Are there any Black people? There are no Black people. The closest we had was Michael Ian Black. Why aren't there any Black people?

Who's technically a Jew? Why aren't there any Black people? That's true. You know, we were asked a good question. Look at Human Giant. Look at Human Giant. We're ethnically diverse. You have to be in the same age.

How do you mean you're ethnically diverse? You have one of the guys. I'm the whitest Indian guy I've ever met in my entire life. Well, hold on. He's got a beard. Okay. He's not, you know... He would be upset if you said you're a white dude.

Like, you know, he's... Aziz is just... Aziz is like, there are people from more far afield than South Carolina, North Carolina. I agree. He's from South Carolina. I'm from South Carolina. We're both from South Carolina.

Are you? Is that why you guys started a comedy group together? Yeah. We decided we're both from South Carolina. Let's start this. So the big state news, coming out July 14th... Big state news, Bastille Day. Don't go anywhere near the Bastille on that day.

It's going to be... It's a really fantastic show if people haven't seen it. I mean, it hasn't been around. It hasn't been available for us since the mid-90s. There's a weird thing about it, which is, like, I'm sort of happy that the state's coming out on DVD. I also have always loved the fact that you couldn't get it. You couldn't get it.

Like, to me, it was always, like, kind of cool. Wait, I don't get that. Why would you... Why would you like that? Well, it's just either you knew the state or you didn't. Yeah, like, you want people to really know you. I love that you guys are finally releasing it on DVD as soon as DVDs are going by the wayside.

Of course. Just getting into the liars. What's the new format? Uh, MP4s. It's just a file. You just get files. You're going to put DVD... Like, you're just going to download content to your contact lenses.

That's how you watch movies. It's just in your brain. Yeah. I brought the state album, which was also never released, and this you can never get, although so many of the tracks are so filthy. Yeah, when did you record it? We went down to Nassau in the Bahamas.

Nassau? Yeah. Really? Nassau. You were going to record it in space. Nassau. N-A-S-S-A-U. What do you say?

We went down to, like, where YouTube records. This is when the state was like... This is... Oh, YouTube. YouTube. Grandpa was a band. YouTube. The band.

YouTube. The band, YouTube. We went down and got drunk for about three weeks in the Bahamas and recorded an album that was unreleasable. You blew all the money, I think. We blew the money. On going to the Bahamas. Is that where Kevin Allison did cocaine off the floor of a party?

No, I believe that was in Manhattan. Wow. But, yeah, we blew all the money. We recorded an album that we gave to Warner Brothers. And by the time we gave it to Warner Brothers, we had been canceled off of CBS. So they... Because you had to deal with CBS for a while to do a series of specials.

We had to do a series of specials. They canceled us after one. After one. And I should also point out, we were in New York, and we got canceled by CBS in L.A. at 9 a.m., which means they got up at 6 a.m. Wow. They actually just to call us in New York

to make sure we knew that we were canceled. Well, that's good. So we did an accident. They're organized. I think that's a good way to do it. They were so excited to cancel us. They were so excited to cancel us. You were aggressively canceled.

You weren't even canceled. You were like, fuck you. No, no. It was literally like, fuck off. It was literally like, you were bricking our face. It was like we were bricking our face. So we have the state album here. Can we play any?

I don't know. You guys chat for a second while I scan for something that's... So Scott, let me ask you this. While he's doing that, is Doug Benson going to call in for real? Yes, Doug Benson calling. Has he called in yet? He's going to review Wolverine. Do we have any callers, by the way?

877-900-1031, 877-900-1031. Are there any callers? Anyone want to talk to us? What's the number again? 877-900-1031. Okay, while we're waiting for that, can I do a quick review of the movie Obsessed? Let's do it.

Because I saw that. Okay. I saw that movie Obsessed. It is awesome. If you like... I don't want to give it away. Obsessed is Beyonce. Yeah.

Well, Idris Elba is... He gets stalked by Allie Larder. And if you like to watch... I don't want to give it away, but Beyonce, lose her shit and go crazy and beat up other girls that are blonde. Only other girls. If you want to see Beyonce beat up white girls,

then go see this movie. That is... Yeah, that's gotta be someone's fantasy. I'm excited. It was so fun to watch that. You know what I wish? I wish that we could have seen it in those D-Box seats. Oh, yeah.

Now, Rob and I and Paul Scheer and a bunch of other Jason Wolliner, I believe, was he there? Yeah, he was. We all went to see Fast and Furious. Not The Fast and The Furious, but Fast and Furious in the D-Box seats. People don't know what that is.

People don't know what it is. Let me explain. D-Box is basically vibrating seats. They have them in two theaters in the country, Man's Chinese 6, and also somewhere in Arizona. And we were the first people to ever sit in these seats.

We saw the midnight show of Fast and Furious on Thursday night, and we were the first crowd to ever sit in the D-Box seats, which vibrate the entire time. But it's not just vague vibrate. It's computer- It was awesome.

It's computer-programmed. It lifts you up. Yeah, you're swerving around. They swerve you around. Yeah, like again, I feel like those seats could be used for masturbation also. That's a whole other show we should talk about.

Everything, yeah. Why does everything have to do with everything? But the D-Box seats were so fun. But the crazy thing was, is that there was only this one row. Only one row in the theater, yeah. They say eventually they're going to replace all the seats with D-Box seats.

Oh, I can't wait. But we were the first ones, and we were live-twittering during it. Yeah, people got mad about that later. But I don't know if you're supposed to Twitter in movies. Oh, yeah, we do. In fact, next week we're going to have

a little information about our next live-twitter during a movie. You guys just live-tweeted. Called Twitflix. Yeah, and you guys did Crank 2. We did Crank 2. I was going to go. I went to the wrong movie.

I went to Hannah Montana. And you were live-twittering during- I was live-twittering during Hannah Montana. Yeah. And the thing is, I thought there was going to be more nudity. I did not know that they don't get naked in that movie.

We call that Twitflix, which is, if you follow us, Rob is at Rob Hubel. This whole show is just to promote your Twitter. Well, no, you have to reset all the time. Okay, yeah, there's new listeners. So this is Indy103 Comedy Dethrae. Yep. I'm Scott Ackerman.

And I'm at Scott Ackerman. This is at Rob Hubel if you're on Twitter. And we're going to be Twittering a movie next week. I believe we're going to have information about it. Next week, my guest will be Aziz Ansari from Parks and Recreation. He's going to be here on the show. He'll be here on the show.

I believe he's going to co-host, which is what you're doing, which is basically what all of us are doing right now is co-hosting. We're sort of passing the hosting duties. Has Doug Benson called in yet? He just called in. Okay, so that one CD that I had

tracked to is his intro music. He's going to be so high. This is not going to make sense. It's the middle of the afternoon. It doesn't matter. It's Doug Benson. This is at Doug Benson. This is at Doug Benson.

He's from Best Week Ever. He's a correspondent. He also is the star of his own documentary, Super Jaime. This is going to be a regular feature called I Love Movies. Take it away. Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seeds with 50 Aziz Pop or kernels in his teeth.

They're still not one that he won't see because Doug loves movies. Doug, are you there? Hello. Hello, Doug Benson. Everyone, welcome Doug Benson to the program. How are you? Hi, Doug.

Hey, everybody. Where are you calling from, Doug? I'm calling from outside my hotel in Denver, Colorado. Denver, Colorado. Now, you just saw the movie Wolverine. You just stepped out of it. Is that correct? Well, you know, the thing is, the movie was about to start.

I was watching the trailers and some dude started coughing. So I got out of there. What do you mean? You left because a guy was coughing? Yeah, there was a gentleman coughing in the theater. Wait, there was a gentleman caller or a gentleman coughing? I'm not going to risk getting a pig disease just to watch Wolverine. Just to watch Wolverine?

He'd act and run around with his dinner utensils out. Well, but can you give us a review of Wolverine, even though you haven't seen it? I saw Wolverine. I'm just joking around. That was a funny joke. It was a time to have fun with the swine flu before it gets really serious.

It's a hilarious joke right now. Next week, we won't even be here. Everyone will be dead. Yeah, well, I'll be gone. It'll be like the stand. So I'm really psyched about this movie. What are the chances that people can masturbate during this movie? What are the opportunities?

Come on, Rob. No, not everything is to masturbate to. You get a few really nice glimpses of Hugh Jackman's insanely hard ass. Nice. And there's just constant bloodless mayhem. I haven't seen a movie with a higher body count with no blood, not a single drop of blood. Well, it's PG-13.

You can't have a lot of blood in a PG-13 movie. Now, without ruining the whole movie, that one shot where he flies off that vehicle up into the air at the helicopter, my one question is... Is that in the movie? Is that in the movie? It's in the movie and it's not a spoiler to say that it is

because it happened during the opening credit. Okay, great. So here's my real question. Without ruining the whole movie, does he miss the helicopter or does he grab it? I bet he misses it. Okay, let's take bets. Hold on.

Before Doug answers, what do you... I think he misses. I think he misses. I gotta go miss. Yeah, he misses. Obviously he misses. They wouldn't shoot it if he caught it. Yeah, you don't even have to answer.

He misses the helicopter. Yeah, we know that. Spoiler alert. So, Doug, any other impressions of the movie that you can give us? You guys are making any sense at all right now. You're so high. You are so high. Come on.

I can already smell... It's much later in Denver. It's much later in Denver. All right, Doug, we're gonna have to wrap it up. Yeah, it is. We're gonna have to wrap it up. Any last thoughts, any last impressions? Just that there's a character in it that when you start saying to yourself,

I hope this character dies soon, your wish comes true almost immediately. Oh. Are there any scenes where he makes love to anyone from behind like a wolf? No. No. Okay, well... No, and they didn't stick any...

They didn't stick that Duran Duran song in there. Like the wolf? Or wait, are you talking about the reflex? Girls on fire. Come on, you have to be a little more specific. Which... All right, Doug, thanks so much for calling. You're gonna call in and give us some movie reviews hopefully in the next few weeks.

Is that correct? Yeah, I'd love to. Awesome. This is Doug Benson from Best Week Ever. You're on Best Week Ever tonight. Is that correct? Yes, tonight. I have a lot of correct questions.

All right, thanks, Doug. Let's play your outro. Ooh. Thanks, Doug. Bye. Here we go. There's the outro. Oh, boy, Doug Benson.

That was exciting. That's some real production value with the music. That was palpitate. That was actually Hard & Firm playing that song, Chris Hardwick and Mike Furman. Chris Hardwick is that nerd on Twitter. We're plugging everyone's Twitter. Most people listening to this are probably not on Twitter. Oh, come on.

If you're listening to this, you're probably on Twitter. You're checking Twitter while you're listening to this. Most people listening to this are Chris Hardwick. It's actually the majority of the people are Chris Hardwick. Just waiting to hear his name. You're totally right. This is about wrapping it up, guys. I hate to say we don't have time to play.

Wait, we never got to do... We never did anything funny. We never got to do any... I know. Why didn't... That should be the first thing we do next time. I had a bunch of hilarious bits. We talked about you and Piranha, which was great.

But I had a bunch of hilarious characters. I was going to do this really old. I'm going to do this one guy. This is just my favorite character. It's a really old guy. Great. And he's in space. Old guy in space.

I'm in space. That was really, really good. That is amazing. I like to tell how old he was. I wrote that last night. It took me forever. But once you did, the floodgates were just open. It makes me wonder, like, did he get old in space?

Did we send him up there? Did we forget that he was up there? Do we have time to do one more relationship question? Yeah, let's do it. You can Twitter us your relationship questions every week. If you can't bone on it, throw it away. Burn it. If you can't bone it, burn it.

Or if you can't bone it. Yeah, that's true. If someone doesn't let you bone them, burn them. Wait, this might be a little bit extreme. We're going off course. Here we go. This is Al Unicorn. He says, since returning from a trip,

my wife has been distant. I asked if things were okay, and she simply said, I don't know. Yeah. These are people twittering us their relationship. 140 characters or less. You can drop the I don't out of that when she says that. And the answer is just go with the no.

Yeah, it's over, right? If someone says I don't know, then what they really mean is no. Obviously what's happened to this gentleman is he went on a trip and he came back and his wife seemed distant. Yeah, that's obviously what happened. We know that much. We know that much.

She is having sex. But here's what I picture her with. Who's she having sex with? I think Raul, that graduate student we were talking about before. Oh, she could be. Some graduate student. I bet she's having sex with the guy at Whole Foods, this young checkout dude.

He's got tribal tattoos and he's kind of cool. He's like body odor and he makes her feel young. Yeah, exactly. He has no plan whatsoever. He makes love to her from behind, like a wolf. He's got a bike. Yeah, he rides his bike everywhere. It's not like a 10 speed, he rides like a banana bike.

Some sort of indie bike. I don't know that we're ever going to get to the bottom of this. I feel like I want to bone this guy out. Hopefully we helped you out. I think we're running out of time though, so we should wrap it up. Let's play on the George Martin CD, the Sean Connery. This is to wrap it up today, the Sean Connery track. This is a Sean Connery singing the Beatles in my life.

Kind of a sweet note to end. I want to thank my co-host first of all today, Rob Hubel. Thank you, Scott, for having me. You can find him at Twitter at Rob Hubel. I want to thank our special guest, Thomas Lennon. He'll be here at some point. He's at Twitter at Thomas Lennon.

Can I come back sometime once we figure out what the show is? Yes, please. I want to figure out what the show is and then really do it for real. This is like a dress rehearsal. Next time I would like to be the co-host. Okay, and then Rob can just be the special crew. And then he has to curl up in a ball for half the show in the corner. And to be real specific here for a second,

like, do I have a yeast infection? Like, look at this, like, what is that? Yeah, no, we'll take a look after the thing. No, no, you have a five alarm. What is that? Out of five? No, no, that's five for five. Oh my goodness. All right, this has been Comedy Death Ray Radio.

We're going to be back next week at noon Pacific until one. Next week, my guest will be Aziz Ansari from Parks and Rec. He's a human giant before he was on Parks and Rec. He's a human giant before he was on Parks and Rec. Okay, human giant as well. Thanks everyone, we're going to be back next week and here is Sean Connery doing In My Life. We'll see you next week.

There are places I'll remember all my life. Though some have changed. Some forever. Some better. Some have gone and some remain. All these places have their moments. With lovers and friends, I still can recall. Some are dead and some are living.

In my life, I've loved them all.