Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Wainscotting, Hold The Hamm (David Wain, James Mannion, Isabella Escalante)

Episode Date: August 10, 2026

Director David Wain returns to tell us about the 25th anniversary theatrical release of “Wet Hot American Summer,” and whether or not to see it nude. Concerned citizen Lonnie Portapotti introduces a way to turn a bodily function into a way to meet new friends and upskill your career. And dating expert Terry Porch is back with more roleplaying and dating advice! Don’t forget to check out the Comedy Bang! Bang! Action Figures at shop.figurecollections.com and go to actionfigurecellar.com for international purchases. If you want more great episodes of Comedy Bang! Bang! become a subscriber at comedybangbangworld.com. We have all of the past episodes from the archives, every live show, ad-free new episodes, and original shows like CBB Presents and Scott Hasn’t Seen. Find more great Comedy Bang! Bang! merch at https://www.podswag.com/collections/comedy-bang-bang Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/cbb Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Spammymy Banc, bang, bang, comedy bang, bang, comedy bang, comedy bang, comedy bang, comedy, bang. Comedie bang, bang, comedy bang, comedy bang, comedy, bang. Spare me your sob stories, strike me your tear tales, gutterball me, your grief growners. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Hmm, thank you to Mama Loves Bun Bun for that catchphrase submission. Mama loves Bun Bun bun bun. Well, unfortunately, I don't love that catchphrase,

and we are going to discard it, and the hunt continues. But until that fateful day, let me welcome you to Comedy Bang Bang. My name is Scott Ackerman, and I'm the host of Comedy Bang Bang. We have a great episode coming up a little later. We have a concerned citizen. We also have a dating expert, a dating expert. Now, are you either of these are for, I'm talking to my first guest here. Are you either the concerned citizen or the dating expert?

I am both of those things. You are? By chance, but not as my profession. Oh, what are some of your dating tips then? So dating doze and dotes from Dave. People ask me this, I'm totally hearing myself. I hear you. You have to turn yourself up.

That's the issue. But then you're very loud. Yeah, you need to be louder, meaning you need to talk louder, Dave. Okay. And I'll introduce you in a second, and we all know him as the softest spoken man in comedy. He loves to mumble. He loves to whisper. You know, Billy Elish speaks things quietly and has made a whole career out of it. Yeah. So I don't know what the big problem is. Like Billy Eilash, what's next? Billy, like, lips or like, like what else is on the face? She approached me and asked. if I could, you know, get involved with doing like a tour thing. And I said this eyelash thing needs to be figured out.

She refused. And so she went with Jimmy Cameron. Man. Well, he is a director himself, not at James Cameron's level, certainly. But he's directed, well, you directed Titanic, right? And the abyss. I mean, if you look at my box office number, it's definitely the abyss. Thank you.

I fucking love that. That is funny. I will tell you what is funny. We are starting on a great, great note here, I have to say. Let me introduce him. He is a dating expert. He is a concerned citizen. He is an actor.

He's a writer. He's a producer. He's a director. He's what we call in the business a quadruple threat. Are you also anything else? Yes. I'm a magician. I would.

I'm a... I wouldn't, you know, like, add that into threats. You know, it's a threat of like, hey, I'm going to do magic. Oh, God. I'm an avid... Let me leave the room. Yeah. Well, sometimes it clears the room.

Sometimes it fills the room. I'm also an avid squash player. You're avid at that, really? Yes. And I'm a concerned Mahjong player. How many points have you scored over your entire squash career? I mean, it would be hard to count, but the last time I did count, it was 983. 9.83, and this is the last time that you counted.

Yes, which was about... How many games have you played since then? I've played, I mean, again, I could guesstimate, but I would say 75 games since then. Could you just estimate instead of guesimating? Well, I like to have pornamento words. Hmm, porno mentos? Yes. It's like very dirty candies. Pornography and Mentos.

Yes. He is here, of course. He was here a few weeks back with John Hams. celebrating his new movie, but he has returned without John Hamm? I requested, could I come back, but without John Hamm? To talk about the 25th anniversary re-release of that classic film, Wet Hot American Summer. Please welcome back the co-writer and director of that film, David Wayne. Hello, hello. So this is Wayne Scotting.

Yeah. Hold the ham. Last time was Wayne Scotting, ham on the side. This is hold the ham. It's funny you say that. Very funny. Thank you so much. I don't eat ham.

So it is holding ham. You don't eat ham. What is it? It's not religious. Yeah. It's not for... It's not for Charlotte's Webb reasons? It's not for Charlotte's Webb reasons specifically.

And it's not because for health reasons. It's not for ethical reasons. Is it for taste reasons? Do you want to know why? I do. My son, who's 18 now, several years ago, said I'm giving up eating meat from a pig as a New year's resolution. Will you do it too? I said, sure. So you just let your son boss you around? Yep. In this one case. Well, that's fascinating. And yet, there's nothing more saying.

Yes. You loved it until then. It stuck. Well, it just felt like, you know, one thing to do, because I don't have any other, like, eating rules. He's never asked you for anything else, right? Not like that. Not like that. He asked me for things like money. Oh, okay. So, uh, No More Ham for Davy. Is that a title of this episode? No More Ham for Davy? Could be.

I've already pre-ordered that on my Gravestone, actually. Well, welcome back to the show. It's great to see you. You were just here. Always good to be back. And you know what? It's fun to come back again because we can, I am, the last one is fresh in my head. Everyone I talked to had questions and comments about the episode last time.

Fantastic. Are we here to answer these questions? I can answer all of the mail we got about it. Okay, good, good. I've been lax in that regard, so thank you for taking up the slack. You are here talking about that little film called Wet Hot American Summer. And you know, I fondly remember I was here, I think, on maybe the 20th anniversary, five years ago. Or was it 10 years ago probably with Paul Rudd and Ken Marino. You were here, really?

It wasn't here in this same location, but I was at your show and we did the raps, I remember. We did summertime wraps. Yes, that would have been. let me tell you exactly how long ago that would have been 15 years ago for the 10th anniversary. That is crazy. Isn't that crazy?

Yeah. And we celebrated it then. And a lot of people were like, perfect celebration. We don't need any more celebrations for this film. That was the one. Let's just let that lie. Well, now we're, this is the 25th.

Now we're really letting it out. Because the 50th is not going to be a thing. Really? You don't think you'll be around for the 50th? If I am, I'll be more resting. I'll watch them somebody else do it. Well, it's, it's, you're celebrating in grand fashion. I will say though that would, if somebody went on YouTube and then like put their own visuals on the on the raps that me and Paul Rudd and Camerino.

I liked how like Ken, if you've heard that episode, classic episode from 15 years ago, Ken refused to rap. Right. And then Paul kind of bailed on it. And then said, no, fuck that. And then he, like, laid into it and did an expert level rap. Yeah. Like, it blew everybody out of the water. Yeah.

It was amazing. So go back and listen to that episode. But let's not talk about that anymore. Let's talk about wet hot American summer is being re-released in theaters this Friday. I know. It's so crazy. And not only that, I think it's in, like, 800 or 1,200 theaters or something. How many did it come out originally?

Two. Two theaters. I was at one of them. Well, was it two? like opening weekend, I think. Yes. And then... I was in Westwood. Right. And then I think in its total release over time, it probably went to like 30 theaters. Right. Yes. I remember seeing it Saturday afternoon, first screening on Saturday in Westwood. Wow. And I was one of four or five people in the theater. Right. Well, I've only so many, you know, close friends.

So now people have an opportunity to do exactly what I did. Lowe those 20,000. years ago and go see it in a theater. This must be very exciting. Well, I will say it is of any comedy, but I think particularly this movie, to see it in a theater, particularly when you know you're among people who are. And there's something about those walls, right? The theater walls, you know, it's like, whoa, they're on the side. They're like behind us.

There's one, presumably there's one behind the screen, although I've never checked. Well, my buddies, and not to call them out on this, and Pink Floyd did a whole thing about the wall. Really? Yeah. You know those guys. I don't want to, I don't talk about it a lot, but yeah, they're very, very, very. Wow. So they did the definitive statement on the wall.

Yeah. So you're doing sort of a kind of a take on that. Not really, no. The movie's not about that at all. It's sort of like that movie Bob Geldof starred in The Wall. Right. No. But for a new generation.

Yes. And when you say nude, not nude. I just want to make sure the algorithm doesn't. Don't show up naked to any of the, these screenings of this movie. If you are, even a medium-length fan of wet-hot American summer, and you haven't seen it in a theater

with people laughing. It's a... Naked. Totally different and great experience. That's right. And I do not wear clothes. Do not wear clothes. I mean, you can come in wearing a jacket, especially if you're like 12 and you're trying to sneak in. Well, as my friend Phil... On someone's shoulders. Yes. My friend Phil, Collins.

Oh, you say, no jacket required. That's what he was singing about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is coming new to a theater. To see Wet Hot American Summer. Wow. Yeah, a lot of people don't know that. Wet Hot American Summer, let's look back.

Wet Hot American Summer, why not dry, cold, Russian winter? Well, we went through a lot of titles. That would have been a very different movie. Wouldn't it have been? It would have been. And we, you know, we talked to a lot of the financiers. And they were like, let's go with the summer version. Right.

But had you been prepping, like, learning. Russian and yeah and I had to coach yeah for several months and I was spending time in Moscow and then became too expensive so I had to go to Kiev and it was like it was it was rough yeah and then suddenly it's just scrapped at the last minute right like let's bring this back to the USA and let's do just a low budget movie about summer camp in Maine incredible so this was a big budget film it was an action film or it was an action film it was like fat man and little boy so and yeah we just had a was that a Batman and Robin's sequel Yeah. And so we, it was a Bert and Ernie sequel, actually. And so we, who's who in that scenario? Yeah. Well, Bert was Ernie was both.

Oh, okay. There seems to be an age disparity between Bert and Ernie. Does it, does they're not? Depending. I would say Bert definitely feels more mature. Sure. He's more of a bummer. Yeah. He's kind of always scolding Ernie. And Ernie kind of seems very childlike. I think he has a certain rascal-esque quality. You think he's a prankster. And probably you'd think of bird is older because of how much he likes oatmeal. Hmm. Because maybe he needs that to make it pass. Interesting.

I know another prankster who changed the world. Oh. Jesus Christ. I thought you meant Ash and Coucher. Or Alan Funt. Wet hot American summer. Let's go down. First of all, you're behind the camera.

you're making the rectangle with your thumb. I was my first time directing anything. Anything. You'd never directed. I directed, no, I made student films and I made a lot of... So you're a lie. Well, we did that show, the state.

Yes, and you directed all of them. No, I directed... We had two directors in the show that were both members of the group. Michael Jan did the real shoots like with the crew. Right. And I did like the one...

The great Michael Jan. The great Michael Jan. And I did the stuff where we like run around with our own camera and we were our own crew. Right. So...

I directed those. You also directed student films. So when you say that you had never directed anything before, why would you say something like that? I'm trying to make the point. It was my first time working with a real crew where I, like, had to ask the guy before we started shooting, like, what do I do? Do I say go, action? When do I say action? So you didn't even know that you should say action?

I knew that it was action. I mean, you've seen like people directing things in other things. I knew that that was just. And they always go, roll camera, light, scammers, action. Right, but that's what I learned is that it's not exactly that. Yeah, you can't say lights camera. The guy says roll sound and then they say speed. I learned that.

Yeah. Okay. So do you still say that to this day on all of your successful films? I've said action for in literally every movie or TV episode or TV show that I've directed. I've said action every single time. I've made it a point of pride. Really? Yeah.

Every since that day where you were confused, you were like, I'm going to remember this. And I said, and I made a promise to God right there. Every time I shoot something for a screen, I'm going to say action, at least at some point. Did you ever leave it into the film accidentally? You just hear, like, action, and then the people talk? Yeah, it was really embarrassing. Yeah. Then we had to ask the theater if they could splice it out themselves.

Oh, the theaters had to do it themselves. Did you know that when we were shooting our movie, The Ten, in Mexico in part. Starring John Hamm. Sometimes I said, axione. Axion. That's cute. Spanish for action, which probably is a context clue you could have taken yourself. Hmm, very interesting.

But now Wet Hot American Summer. Yes. 25 years. You're there directing. You're saying action. The cast in this film is incredible. Yeah. Everyone's first movie.

Who's in this film? Tell me who's in this film. Well, the core of the cast was the people that we knew from the state are our comedy troupe. So that was Michael Schoalter, Jola Trulio, Carrie Kenny. Ken Marino, Ken Marino, Michael Ian Black. And then sort of our larger group of friends, A.D. Miles and so on and Zach Orth.

And then we had bigger name people that we asked to be part of it, that we kind of had some connection to or just went to their reps like David Hyde Pierce and Janine Garofalo. And then we... And Amy Poehler, though? Amy Poehler actually was also part of that. Yeah, she was the queen of the New York alt scene at the time, had just been starting on SNL, I think. Okay.

And then we had people we auditioned. who came in off the street or whatever to audition. And that... You have to come in off the street. Like, you can't just, like, apparate there, like Harry Potter would. Do you know that him and the boy who lived? I am not...

I was friends with him, and then we've had a little something that I don't even know what... You have a scar on his forehead. I know, and I don't know what... And people were not supposed to talk about it, right? It wasn't like a big fight, but I don't know why we haven't talked in years. But it's weird.

But, um... But, yeah, so some people auditioned, you have... Did Christopher Maloney's... Christopher Maloney auditioned. Liz Banks. Elizabeth Banks and Bradley Cooper not only auditioned, neither had ever been in a movie before. And did they plead for the part?

Did they get down on their knees and say, please, please, please put me in this movie. I'll do anything. Bradley was crying like a real hyena. Yeah. And we're like, if you just could calm down and keep it together, then we'd be the part. Do you think you'll be able to do this in the part? And apparently that's how he got all his parts. Really?

Up all the way through Maestro. Apparently, yeah. He did that for Maestro. Yeah, because he was directing and had written that and was producing it. Yeah. And Netflix, I remember, said, but you can't be the star. Right. You got audition.

Yeah, they wanted to. Did he wave a stick around in his audition? Do you remember? Well, he did like a demo tape because he wanted to have multiple takes. So he did demo of him. And they said, no, you don't, you're not right for this. And he got on his knees and did that whole song and dance crying, pleading, yelping, rolling around.

Oh, do anything. Yeah. And they... And apparently the Netflix producers did the same thing that I did. They're like, if you could just keep it together

and calm down for even a second then fine, you can play the part. It's a good technique because no one... And he's become a big celebrity. So since Maestro, everything he's done since then, he's just...

That's been offer only. So what are we talking? Dungeons and Dragons? Yeah. That was like, they just straight offer. No audition process. No screen test.

Yeah. Incredible the lore with Wet Hot American Summer. Yeah. Bradley Cooper's first movie. He owes you everything. But I'm waiting for the check. That's good. Thank you. That's good. Because he's rich. He's a super huge, like, movie star. That's the same sense of humor I put into co-writing all those classic quotable lines in Wet Hot American Summer. Quotable lines. Like, hey, it's really hot. Yeah. And what month is it? Oh, I don't. I don't know, but it's the summer.

Yeah. Although. Where do we live? I'll give you a little America tidbit, which nobody knows this. I mean, unless you've seen the movie, nobody knows this. The movie takes place in the month of August. Does it? Which is the month we're in right now.

That's incredible. And was it released in theaters in the month of August? Now, this is going to literally break your brain. Oh, no. I don't, I mean, I have responsibilities. I have a family. Well, I can't help it. It's too good.

I'm the breadwinner. Too bad. Your brain's about to break. Fuck. As is anyone... As is everyone who's listening to this. Everyone who's listening? Yep.

I plead with everyone. Please turn this podcast off right now. The movie takes place in August. It was released in the month of... Here it comes. I'm going to say it now. July. Whoa.

So when we're there, and I know that there's the willing suspension of disbelief, but we're people, able, I guess maybe that's why it wasn't a huge hit when it came out is... Because the actors were too old. Yeah. Yeah, that's right.

So, I mean, you guys make this movie. It's a camp atmosphere. You're all bunking together. Yeah, we were at a real camp right before camp started. It was pouring rain almost the entire shoot. We literally destroyed all the grass in the camp, which was a big problem. And the people at the camp who ran the camp were very upset with you. very upset. And have you made reparations to them since then? Yes, I think with time and with the movie have becoming such a thing over the years,

always forgiven. But did you ever actually plant any new grass or get out there and roll up your shirt sleeves? No, they had to figure that out. Fuck them. Fuck them and continue to fuck them. I visited the camp where we shot it, which is called Camp Tawanda in Pennsylvania.

Just a year ago. And everything's exactly as it was. Exactly the same. buildings are still there? And is it a point of pride for them that this movie? Very much so. Yeah. And even though like it's a little bit, because, you know, new parents coming in are like, that can't be like the demo tape about the camp. Right. Yes. This can't be the experience that are 12-year-olds or 13-year-olds are going to have. Exactly. But the little equipment shack where Bradley Cooper and Michael Ian Black go to have sex. They make love. I mean, that's a, I, I, I,

I feel like that's a classier way to say have sex. Okay. Like making love. I'll go with it. Because love is usually involved in sex if you're doing it, right? Well, I do disagree, but that's actually... Oh, really? You only have sex with people that you abhor?

Well, I can't get into it legally because I am doing my own podcast about this. That's on the Fortified Network. Fortified Network. Oh, great. Oh, okay. I'll look out for that. So it's all about... NDA about my

But you're doing a podcast, so you're breaking your NDA. No, no, the NDA is about my opinions on whatever you just asked me, which I forgot. I can't talk about it. Got it. But what I only wanted to say is the real story is that the guy at the camp, when that little tiny equipment check fell apart, instead of hauling it away, they made a fence around it, and it's like a little memorial to that. Really?

They should build a life-size statue of that. the two of them. With one's penis of the other guy's ass? Or whatever. Or whatever. I don't need the details necessarily, but... I mean, you would know. You're the director of them.

Well, I remember that in that shoot day, it was really hard to get it in there. Well, this, I mean, look, what a way to celebrate the 25th anniversary of this film. I mean, this film... It's wild. It's wild. This film has, you know, like we said, didn't do a lot of business when it first came out. ate shit, both financially and creative. in terms of reviews.

And people didn't like this thing. No. And they, in fact, a lot of walkouts, a lot of people asking for their money back. Yep. A lot of people staying to the end just to see like, oh, is this as bad as I think it is? I think you've made your point. But since then, like within the last like 365 days, people have said, wait a minute, this is actually good. Yeah.

No, it really built over the years. And people became very, you know, ownership of this movie. Do you think the fans own it or do you own it? You know what? I've let it go for years and said, you know, now it's for the fans. And then now, but this, now you want it back. About a year and a half ago, I took it back. Okay, good.

Sort of like that song that you two took back from Charles Manson. Well, I stole it from the Beatles. Right. Now, I was, more to me, the song that comes to mind is, baby, come back. Any kind of fool. Can see. Yeah. Yeah.

We both sang it perfectly, by the way. I don't know why we're not the next Simon and Garfunkel. We really should be. I would love to do more music with you. Now, you have, of course, the middle-aged dad band. I do think there's an opportunity, though, because Paul Simon himself is so old. I, honestly, like, he may not tour anymore. I think there's an opening.

Same venues. Yeah. I got a few calls when people saw that Simon was getting old. They're, like, called Wayne. Yeah. I would Now I would think they would call you to be Garfunkel. You want to be Simon. Interesting. That's going to be

a sticking point between us. At the end of the day only Simon can be Simon. Well what about Simon and Simon? That wonderful NBC show. You know what? Tusha. I stand corrected. Toosh. The

Oh yeah, you mentioned we have the band Mad G.B. Yes. And we're actually playing. That's how you shorten it. Matt. Yes. I'm trying to transition the way we talk to say it to middle-aged dad jam band, but let's just call it Mad J-B, M-A-D-J-B. Mad J-B. And you think that sounds cool?

I don't know. So that's, but you guys are out there playing. I'm 57 years old. I have no clue what's cool. You guys are out there. I mean, this is an incredible musician, uh, music experience. I mean, you got, a lot of people go to concerts and they go like, oh, okay, they're, they're like, oh, okay, I see what this is.

They're playing a song that they recorded onto an album, but they're doing it here in this room. Oh, oh, okay. And then another, like that ends, and then another thing comes up and they go, oh, and now they followed it with this song? And it's like, all right, well, that's also an old song that they put on to an album. It's called a cover band.

Oh, you're in a cover band. That's what that is. Oh, okay. But the other day, we played at Griffith Park outside. There was a big 25th anniversary screening. Yeah. It was a version of the middle-aged dead jam band, but without our lead singer Ken Marino. Why?

And Ken Marino, is that because he's going on tour with Death Becomes her? That's exactly right. Wow, which I just saw on Broadway. Oh, you did? I did. Right, the week it closed. He's in New York just starting rehearsals. He's in the second day of rehearsal.

Tell him to visit the Statue of Liberty. I have already been, this is, you've literally just hit a sore. Oh, really? Yeah. We had a literally like a 90-minute slightly screaming fight about this. Oh, because you had forgotten to tell him about it? No, I was just suggesting he go. He, the prop, his, my point of view was, I think he should go see the Statue of Liberty.

Yeah. And his point of view was he might, but he's not sure if he will. And so it was just a screaming match. It just, we could not come to the same place on that. So Ken wasn't there. So then who filled in and who sang? We had a great set of fill-in lead singers, which was Elizabeth. Phil in Collins?

Okay, now. Okay. I know he's a friend of yours. I'm so, so sorry. I'm writing this down because it feels like that has to be some sort of play on words, but I can't parse it. We had Elizabeth Banks singing with us. Okay. We had Joe La Trulio singing with us.

Wow. Just in the cast. We also had the original people who sang songs in the movie, Craig Wedger and Peter Salette. Yeah. And we had, it was a... Wow, this is incredible. Yeah, I think... Did I say that?

Yeah, you already said it. Oh, Marguerite Moreau from the movie. Whoa! Singing with us. Yeah, it's great. So this is, I'm... I mean, look, if you're a wet-hot American summer fan, there is no better time to be alive than this week because it is coming back into theaters and wet-hot American Summer Mania has swept across the country. It's all anyone's going to be talking about this week.

Except for the sort of perfect double-feature companion piece, Gail Daughtry and the Celebrity Sex Pass, which tomorrow becomes available on digital. You can pre-order it now. Oh, my gosh. You can pre-order it today, although why would anyone pre-order it? it like today and then just watch it tomorrow. Like, just order it tomorrow. There's no reason. But,

this is a two-step process suddenly? I don't know. I never know. I'm just going to go watch it tomorrow. Now that I'm in the rock and roll world, they always do these things where they put up the tickets for the show and they're like, artists pre-order code.

Right. And it's like means literally nothing. Yeah, you're in the rock and roll world, definitely. But now that I'm in the rock and roll world, I mean, I'm just basically a big of course. Yeah. Wow. Well, this is, I mean, look, wet hot American summer, a classic movie.

I love it. I've been there since day two of its movie. You have been not just a fan, but an appreciator and a promoter. It's a synonym for the years. But not just a fan, a fanatic. The fan is short for fanatic. You just keep saying the same thing. I'm a fan.

I'm an appreciator. I like the movie. Yeah, but you not only like something else. You not only like the movie you thought it was good. I did. And not only did I see it that weekend, but I thought it was good. And not only did see it, you actually went and went in and viewed it. I did. I did.

I was in that hallowed hall that we call the theater. And that's the theatrical experience. This is, you've been a big proponent of this, Dave. Oh, God, yeah. You know, you're out there saying like, look, let's get these movies back into the theaters. I've been doing TED Talks till I'm blue in the face. And, uh, you think Ted the bear ever gave a TED talk? That would be hilarious.

No. Oh my. Stop. Ew. That would be funny. Wait a minute. Ew. And he's, he'd give a TED talk and you'd look out in the audience.

It would just be like, Ted Mosby from how I met your mother like in the audience. And it's like, wait, are you, am I, uh, should I be up there? It would just be fucking hilarious. Can I admit something to you? Yeah. I now just got it. Ew. Now I get it.

I love this. Ted gives a TED Talk, perfect. Oh, well, look, red hot American summer, which can be abbreviated as W.H.A.S. Is re-released this Friday in multiple theaters, hundreds of theaters, as a matter of fact, all across the USA. You want to know a weird psychological thing? I do. Many people have emailed or texted or whatever over the years saying, I really love W.H.A.M. Weird.

And that doesn't stand for anything. And, well, I've said this before. I think when you abbreviate words, why are we always defaulting to the first letter in the word? Beautiful. Like, M is the star attraction of summer. There's two of them in there. You know what I mean? So it's like, yeah.

M should be how we abbreviate summer. I mean, I always thought the letter G was like a hot day because it's right in the middle of August. There you go. Well, Wet Hot American Summer re-released this Friday, multiple theaters, uh, and, uh, comes celebrate with all of us. I'm going to be there. And by the way, wherever you are in the country, I will be there too. Yes.

I'll be in the theater, in the seats. And so come say hello. You promise to be behind or in front of anyone who goes to. And you're going to try to shuffle cards while people watch the movie in whatever theater they watch. All right. All right. We're going to take a break.

Can you stick around, Dave? Yeah, I'd love to stick around if you don't mind. We're going to take a break. When we come back, we're going to. I have a concerned citizen. We also have a dating expert. This is an exceptional episode of Comedy Bang Bang. We'll be right back with more David Wayne.

More Comedy Bang Bang. We'll be right back after this. Comedy Bang Bang, Bang. We're back. David Wayne with us here. I decided to stay and through the break and hang. I appreciate that because a lot of guests, they try to leave during the break. And I have to physically restrain them or plead with them.

beseech them not to leave. I saw that you put on that little thing with the button that locks the door. Yeah. So that is... I have a Matt Lauer special on the door here. That is unbelievable. What it was was a thing that closed his door. Like, like, oh, suddenly you're not allowed to have a smart home?

Oh, it closed the door, but it didn't lock you in. I don't think so. Although, I don't know. I didn't read that. I didn't read it for the detail. I know in some museums... Like, I read a headline about the whole thing. I read a tweet about a headline.

If you trip a motion detector in a museum that has a really famous diamond, I saw this in the Pink Panther. Like entrapment style? Yeah. Then the steel doors will fall down and make it hard for you to leave so they can catch you in there like a rat that you are. Yeah. Yeah. You love the Pink Panther films. We covered one of those on Scott.

We did. Yeah. I do love them. Yeah. Well, Wet Hot American Summer is another film you love, and it is being re-released this Friday in hundreds of theaters. across the U.S. of a Indian Canada? I think so.

Our friends to the north, the Canucks up there? Who knows? We'll never know. I recently went to Toronto, though. Great town. Weird brag. Okay.

All right, let's get to our next guest. What do you say? They let me cross the border. Did they really? Did you have a passport? Yeah, I have my own passport and the whole thing. Okay. I've also lost my virginity.

Up in Canada? No, I'm just letting you know. Just, of the group. Since the last episode? you were on? Timing is not something I want to go deep into. Interesting. You've been married.

Talk to the dating expert. All right. Well, we're going to get to our next guest. He's a concerned citizen. Please welcome Lonnie Portopati. Hey, Scott. Hey, David. Nice to meet you.

I'm Lani Portopati. Hi, Lonnie. Nice to meet you. Hey, I'm so sorry. Before we get started, Scott. We already started. Not to split hairs. I got to do this now, so I don't have to do it later.

I wish you would have done it during the break. Scott, do you have like a porta potty or a bathroom or something? I really got to go. I mean, I don't have a port-a-potty. I have a bathroom. Oh, even better. It's better than a porta-potty? Your mind?

Do I mind what? God, all right. Wow. Took off. He left the door open. Do you mind shutting the door? What's he doing? I don't know.

Okay, thank you so much. I'm so sorry about that. I got to oil that door. Is that your real last name? Port-a-potty? Well, Portapati is my family name spelled P-O-R-T-A-P-O-T-I. We came from Italy, but my friends as a nickname... Potipati, exactly.

But my friends as a nickname call me Lonnie Port-A-Pottie, P-O-R-T-A-A-A-D-T-T-Y. Are your friends process agents at Ellis Island? Yeah. I see. I had such a good... Why not befriend them when you're going through? Yeah. Yeah, I had such a good time meeting him.

I go back and say hello. So you, I mean, do you have anything to do with the, the actual porta-potties, the invention or the, the, is it an invention? Yeah, I would say. No, no, no, no, there's a lot of innovations. I mean, anyone, okay, so if I take anything anyone invented, like name an invention, Dave. Oh, the internet.

Yeah, and I put it outside. I'm like, oh, see, I invented this. Wait a minute. Outside internet. Could be an idea. Holy shit. Wi-Fi? Like Wi-Fi that covers the world?

Hey, guys, sorry, I can't take a break real quick. Do you mind? Is that bathroom a door by chance? Didn't you just go? Is that bathroom a door? No. Is that door a bathroom by chance is what I mean. Yeah, you just were in there.

Go ahead. Okay, hold out a second. Jesus Christ. Why do we hear him exhale so loudly? He's relaxing his spinkter muscles. Oh, okay. I know that. Sounds like a shower more than...

No, he's... Washing his hands, I think. Sorry about that. That's okay. It's just you guys were talking to each other, so I thought maybe I'd take my chance to go. It's okay, Lonnie. So, I'm sorry, back to my original question. Are you related to porta-potties?

Well, my family, it runs in our family. We have a bit of a history of needing to go a lot. Oh, okay. So you have a small bladder. We've got small bladders, and we like to hydrate. So back in the old country. Back in the old country, my ancestors that created the first outhouse. okay they created the first outhouse yeah for people like us so we need to be able to stop somewhere

when they got to go that must have been quite a long time quite a few generations back i would guess yeah what were people doing before the outhouse they're just pissing in their backyard or i i don't know i think they had to hold it wait no one feed until the outhouse was in there they held it for centuries a hole in the cave but we can't just be going anywhere we got to stop find a bathroom i'm not an animal right okay so your your your ancestors and invented the outhouse and then what about the port-a-potty though because that's a there was a whole step in between there of the indoor uh toilet and then the porta-potty they were like let's take this back outside well our last name just happened to be porta-pottie okay and we invented an outhouse

okay and then i think in america some guy invented a porta-potty ah but it happens to work what does the port-a-potties the fact that that's my name oh and so is that your is that what you your business? No, it's not really my business. Oh, what? I'm sorry, you're, what do you do for a living? You know what, it's not my business. I mean, I would like to know you're here. I mean, I like to get to know our guests a little bit, but that's fair. What do you do for a living? Are you a movie director like David Wayne? No, I wish. They've got nice. You want to direct movies? Well, I like being on a movie set. They've got nice toilets there. Those set toilets? I mean, they're all right. Those little trailers. I usually hold and try to, you know, get through the 12-hour day and go home.

Really? You'd never take a 10-1? Sometimes I'll have to take a 10-2. That's a term I learned. Sometimes in Los Angeles, you're walking around the street and someone's filming a movie. Now, look, I always got to go. So if I think, okay, there might be a bathroom in there. I'd just say, hey, guys, I'm taking a 10-1 and walk in there. Plausible to any questions. No one cares. Okay. So what is your business, though? My business? Well, right now, I've found myself being a bit of a construction worker.

Okay. Bit of a construction. Yeah. Just dabbling? Well, the other day, I was walking down the street with my friends around. You walked down the street a lot. Yeah, I got places to go. Unfortunately, for me, there's not a lot of bathrooms around.

Okay. So I was walking down my friends around Ellis Island. We were, they were on their lunch break from... Where do you live, by the way? Are New York or in Los Angeles? I was in Ellis Island. I got there and I said, this is great. So why are you walking around L.A. so much through movie sets?

Well, because I'm here right now. Okay, so this is just recent... No, but they shoot stuff in New York, too. Have you ever heard of Raging Bull? I know, but he said that... Whoa, Raging Bull. Mm. Okay.

Now we're talking cinema. Thank you. I went on the set of Raging Bull to take a 10-1, and I got punched. Really? By the way, I just want to catch up some of the audience that might not know the inside industry lingo. Code 10-1 means take a peepee. 10-2 means take a poo. Mm-hmm.

10.103, you're on your own. Anyone who's ever worked with me knows that if I use the restroom, it's always a 10-2. Really? So you have never? Not in many years. Right. Oh, interesting. But sorry, go on. So they know that? So do you actually say 10-2 or do you just wander out? I say 10-1 and people know what I mean.

They crack the code and they add one to the second number. Yeah. Sometimes if people are like new, I'm like, I'm going to go 10-1, just add one. Mm-hmm. Yeah, people with everyone around town, they knows who I am, because I'm always walking into businesses asking if I can use their bathroom. And I don't even got to say anything at this point. They just point right back to it now? Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, sometimes you got to buy something. If you had a gas station, you know, I might like buy a canister of gas or a canister of gas. Yeah, well, you don't want to be rude. You got to buy something. Tier gas. Get some gum. Get some mince.

You're buying like a full canister of gas. Get a tent. Canister of tear gas. That's what I usually get. I don't know if they saw those at a gas station, but I have accidentally spilled my canister of gas everywhere, and it did irritate my eyes a bit. Okay. Well, look, I don't know how to help you there, but how are you a construction worker now? Yeah, so I was walking down the street.

There was a construction site. I really had to go, and I said, you know, they got potter potty on construction sites. Let me ask and see if maybe they'll let me use it. So I said, fellas, you mind if I use your porta potty? and they said, no, you need OSHA certification to get onto this construction site. But they took pity on me, the plumber made me a little toilet. He let me go. He said, next time you come back here, come back, correct.

So the next day I went and I got OSHA certified. Okay. Hold on. I have a couple of questions. Okay. The plumber made you. Hold on a second. Before you ask those, I'm sorry, Scott. I really got to go.

Scott, I have a suspicion that I have some of the same questions as you. Okay. What were you going to ask? Oh. God damn it. You always size right at the exact same time. I just more want to know how he was able to get an appointment for getting Ocean certified. He came back to next.

Sorry about that. That's okay. No problem. Describe the toilet that the plumber made for you. It was, he took one sort of bigger pipe. It was kind of looked like a funnel and fitted it to a narrow, pipe and that sort of fed back into the drainage system that they were building for the building so he just jerry rigged this so is this a this was a construction guy who maybe specialized in the

plumbing side of things yeah so on a construction site i learned this the other day when i got my osha certification there's different people with different expertise there's uh electricians plumbers carpenter we know okay well i didn't know that when i walked in there you seem like an incurious fellow incurious what do you mean i just other than than where all the porta potty's happening. Let me tell you something, Scott. When you, when you walk around and you always got to go and you got to solve that problem, you meet all kinds of new people. I don't know how you could say I'm in curious. Would I be got an OSHA certificate? I just mean informationally. I guess I don't mean about people. No, I think what you're trying to say is I'm stupid.

Well, I mean, a lot of people are stupid because they're incurious and they don't want to learn. That's true. I don't know whether that's you, that you have an inability to learn. Let me ask you, when you're meeting all different kinds of people, does that include nurses? Do you have a thing for nurses? No, I'm just curious because they're so beautiful. Any candy strippers? Yeah, every now and then, you get a ruptured bladder. You might meet a nurse or two.

I don't want to get a ruptured bladder just to meet a nurse. Can I go to like a singles mixer? As far as I'm concerned, right. So, okay. So what are you doing here? Are you here to talk about construction or, yeah. No, I'm not here to talk about construction or, yeah. I'm not here to talk about construction.

It just happens to be my job. You're a concerned citizen. I am concerned about. Well, lately in cities across America, there's been a big movement to install public No pun intended, by the way. Oh! Big movement? I understand.

All right, all right. I've never gotten 10-2 since I've been here, all right, just 10-1. All right, keep it that way, mister. Anyway, go ahead. There's been a BM across the country. When you say it like that, it's even worse. We want to launch a BM to save this country. There's been a BM across the country in major cities of people pushing to install.

People pushing another, another. Hey, hold on. I haven't done any 10-2s yet. They're pushing this for David here. All right, go ahead, go ahead. People pushing through the proverbial sphincter. That's not a metaphor that anyone uses. Well, at the places that the rallies that I've been seeing, people are pushing for public

bathrooms. Sure. They say there's not enough public bathrooms. There's people walking around the street. They got to go. And they got to, uh, there's nowhere for them to go. I agree. Unless they're willing to buy a canister of gas or get OSHA certified.

I agree. A lot of businesses are not receptive to the needs of people who are out there on the street. I'm still, I'm, I'm not clear on what your take is on this, though. I think it's a terrible idea. To have public bathrooms. But you're a guy who needs to use the bathroom a lot. What are you talking about? Scott, if there were a public bathroom everywhere for me to just stop in and go,

I wouldn't have gone on all the adventures that I've gone on since I immigrated to America. Okay. I would have never become a welder. I would have never... You have to have more than two jobs. I would have never met all these kind gas station attendants. Is that where you got, you picked up your accent from? The gas station.

Talking to gas station attendants? Well, yeah, I had a thick Italian accent when I was born. Got it. So pretty much you've been able to say that you have gone into gas stations and you're a welder and a construction guy. I've been on movie sets. And you've been on movie sets. Okay.

My life would have no meaning if I didn't have to find new ways of finding a bathroom. Don't you think you'd meet, you know, people in these public bathrooms? I know one guy who did that pretty successfully. His name was George Michael. What about joining, like... May he rest in peace, of course. But... I'm now comfortable with the joke now that you've given the caveat that he should rest in peace.

Thank you. But do you feel like... Oh, God damn. I mean, what was I going to say? What were you going to say? Okay, let's back up. Okay, I didn't say George. Push it out, David. Push it out.

Push it out. Oh, I know. You're worried that you wouldn't have met all these people and had all these social opportunities if you didn't have to be looking for bathrooms. Exactly. My life would be just like anybody else's. I wouldn't be a guy who drives a charter bus around. Right.

But I would drive a charter bus around? That's right. Have you ever been on a charter bus and they have that toilet in the back? Right. Right. Yeah. I guess so. Yeah.

like a party bus or a tour bus. Yeah, like a party bus or a bus from like D.C. to New York. Yeah, okay, right. That goes long distances. Yeah. Well, I went on one of those and I said, this is great. I need to get one of these so that when I'm on the road and I got to go, I just put it on cruise control and walk to the back.

No, you can't put it on cruise control. If you do it on the highway, I don't see what the big deal is. I know. Honestly, how many accidents have you ever been in? And I'm not talking about the kind of accidents again, where... Although I bet you've had a lot of those. No, just... I either find a bathroom or my bladder ruptures and I meet a couple of nurses.

I was going to say, though, if you want to meet people and that's not... The way that you normally have done it isn't happening for this reason. What about, like, adult education class? Like, it's creative writing, or is there a bowling league in your area? Yeah, what are your hobbies? Well, I have taken a creative writing class. Oh, what did you end up writing? I wrote a memoir about my life.

About your life? Yeah. I mean, quite honestly, doesn't sound all that interesting. You just go to the bathroom a lot. You were a welder. I'm a welder. I'm not going to go read a book about a dumb shit welder who takes a bunch of shit. I drive a charter bus down the highway that I put on cruise control.

I'm sorry. I think that's pretty interesting. target audience. And also I ended up in a creative writing class because I know that local community colleges have good bathrooms. I can solve this. I can solve. We don't have to like take his word for it. How many printings did your memoir

have from the publisher? 100,000. Wow. So that's maybe 10,000 per print. Wait a minute. Oh, is a printing just one run of a multiple copies of books?

So that would. mean like 100,000 editions of the book? Are you trying to say that, yes, that's what we're asking, but are you just trying to say they printed 100,000? I'm not insane. I thought you meant copies of the book that were printed.

Okay, I thought for a minute I thought you might be insane. Yeah. Because we got a lot of weirdos on this show. I thought, I thought, I'm now off this, but I kind of thought you were bullshitting us, but now I believe, yeah. Now I believe you, yeah. 100,000, I mean, that's a healthy amount of books.

It is. I told them, trust me. I think that we can go 100K. You just said, trust me. Yeah, I said, trust me. me. You're just some idiot construction guy who wrote a book and you say, trust me. Idiot but curious construction guy.

But as someone who has no ability to learn anything in his life. No, I do learn. I'm a welder. I'm a certified welder on a construction site. Yeah, he's a writer. All right, all right. And you wrote it. How long is your memoir? It's 100 pages, which is the perfect amount to read while you're on the toilet.

Not really. Look, 100 pages takes maybe two hours to read? I mean, these days, I feel like books, what are books? I want TikTok, I want Instagram. You're telling me, David. I don't know. For me, 100 pages is pretty good

because, I mean, have you heard how fast I go to the bathroom? Oh, there he goes. He's doing again. He just, he said, you have to get some WD40 for your bathroom door. I do, I know, I'm sorry. Do you mind bringing some over next time? Are you going to be on the show again? I have them with me.

Yeah, I'll be here in a week or two. See, I was back in a jiffy, just like that. I read one pages of my memoir. One pages of your memoir? Yes, one pages. One pages. I'm sorry, I should be said pages. So wait, when you say 100 pages is the perfect amount of time when you're going to the bathroom. Do you mean one?

No, no, no, because a bathroom reading book, you want to leave it in there so that you can go back and so. So a hundred trips to the bathroom. But is it like a Dr. Seuss book where there's like three or four words? words on the page or? Yeah. Yeah, okay. Because it's sort of time to how, how I do it.

Did you provide illustrations? Yeah, I drew my own illustrations. Do you mind if I look at it? Sure. Do you have a copy here? Here you go. Let me go into the bathroom and get it real quick. I left it in there.

He's using an excuse to go to the bathroom again. I really don't want to see it all that badly. Okay. I think he might want to speak to a urologist. Yeah. I just feel like it would be a bit of a dis... I know. There has to be a medical cure for what you're doing.

Okay. Okay, here you go. Take a look. All right. This is, okay. This is just like hangman pictures. So I was playing hangman with my Ellis Island friend. And I said, these would be good illustrations for my book.

Let me just use these. Okay. What about like a little carry around a jug? Oh, I do. You haven't seen my big sparklets? bottle. Hold on. Let me take a sip. Oh. Oh, did you mean an empty jug to me to pee in? No, no, no. Like I said earlier, I like to hydrate. But thank you for giving us that demonstration of how you sip to prove you are, in fact, holding that jug. Yeah. What are you got to say hydrated? It's hot. David brings up a good point.

Have you seen a urologist? Is there some sort of medical cure for your, what's going on with you? Scott, I am a urologist. What? Yes. You buried the lead. I've been reading this memoir ever since you gave it to me. I don't see it in here. Well, you got to flip a few more pages.

And you might have actually read it. It's just with the hangman photos. You might not have been able to realize what was going on. Oh, yeah. Well, yeah. When I went to that hospital and met those beautiful nurses. When you ruptured you blast. Slow down.

Vava, boom. I said, they got good bathrooms in here. I got to figure out how to get back in. They have good bathrooms in pretty much any building you're ever going to walk into. So I went to. medical school and I became a urologist so that I could go into that hospital whenever I want. Did you ask if they had any jugs? What do you mean?

Who the nurses? This kind of jug? Yeah, exactly that kind. Thank you for it. No, I didn't ask him that because I had my sparklets bottle on me and I already knew what it was. Maybe you don't need to drink so often. Yeah. It's August.

That's true. Look, Lonnie, I'm glad that you're concerns. I think more port-a-potties are actually a good thing. It's a job creator. I agree. More port-a-potties, but not public bathrooms. So you want them to be privatized? Yeah.

For who? The trillionaires? Sure. Billionaires, millionaires. Whoever's got enough startup capital to buy a bunch of port-a-potties put them in various places. I don't know, Lonnie. That's how you meet people.

You can't make it easy. Look, you don't have to go in them, but there's a public need. All right? You can eschew them every time. you see one and say, no, no, no, no, I'm going to go into a business. I'm going to go get my doctorate so I can become a urologist. Would you be okay if there was public bathrooms, but they cut it off and you have to be at least a billionaire? That is interesting. Yeah, that is really

interesting. And I think I can get there with my, with being a doctor and, uh, you think you'll be a billionaire at some point? And how much money do doctors make? About a billion. Yeah, over the course of the career, probably a billion. Yeah. A cool, bill. When I'm ready to retire, then I'll go into the public bathroom. You want to put your money into index funds. Yeah. Yeah.

Really? You get a great return on this. That's how, that's if you really want a billion, that's how I did it. I mean, they outpace inflation. Yeah. Yeah. I started with $100 about 15, 16 months ago. Yeah.

And now I have a billion. Yeah. You know, I'm actually feeling some inflation right now. Oh, why don't you go use the rest? In your bladder, is that would? Yeah. All right. Okay.

Look, we're going to take. a break while you're in there, okay? We're going to take a break. When we come back, we're going to have more David Wayne. We're going to have more Lonnie Portapati. We also have a dating expert. This is a great show. Apologies for...

I'm sorry to interrupt your outro. I just do agree. People should stick around. There's a lot more fun stuff to come. Thank you so much, David. I'm glad you co-sign on this. We're going to be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang Bang after this. Comedy Bang! Bang! We're back. David Wayne,

here, wet-hot American Summer, of course, coming out this Friday in a lot of theaters. And these theaters have bathrooms, right? Yeah, just like the theaters that, if you might have already seen Gail Doctrine the Celebrity Sex Pass, which now comes out on digital tomorrow, you can have that experience. Oh, man, I'm totally that friend who we get our concessions, we get our tickets, we have everything ready to go. And then I go, guys, hold on a second. Can someone hold my popcorn? I got to go real. I hope that you sit on the aisle at the movie theater. Oh yeah, absolutely. And on the plane.

I always sit on the aisle on the plane. Okay, where don't you sit in the aisle at? On my charter bus, because I'm driving it? Okay, all right. Hey, good, yeah. All right. Well, look, we have to get to our next guest, Lonnie Port-a-Ponty's here, by the way. Can you believe I didn't go during that whole break?

I wish you would have. You're going to be interrupting our dating expert. During the commercial is a classic time to use the restroom. Oh, God. All right. Well, let's bring our. dating expert back. When I say back, he's a returning guest and he's a dating expert. Please welcome back to the show, Terry Porch. Scott Ackerman, David Wayne, and Lonnie Port-a-Potty, so happy to be here

with these beautiful minds on this beautiful day in this beautiful recording studio. So, so great to see you again, Terry. Oh, so good to see you guys. God, it's so great to have so many beautiful, successful people all in one table. I'm sorry, we're just broing out on a podcast. Bro and out? That's one of my favorite things to do, Scott. Yeah. Terry Porch. Nice to meet you, David Wayne. Great to meet you, too. Great to meet you, David Wayne.

Now, Terry Porch, you're a dating expert. You were here a few months back. Oh, Scott. Last time I was here, I told you how to go from hinge messages to in-person meetups. Today, I'd like to tell you, what to do you, once you secure that first meetup. Oh, okay, yeah, because we didn't get past that. There were a lot of issues with what you were talking about before, but hopefully we've ironed those out.

So you're saying maybe you've gone on an app and then you've made a date to meet with someone. Right. We're at that stage. You've cleared that hurdle. You've cleared that hurdle and boy, is it a hurdle. But with my advice from last episode, you've secured the date and now you're facing a girl, face-to-face, IRL. I don't know that it's with your advice from the last episode because your advice wasn't all that good. But let's just say we're in that situation.

Clean slate now. Clean slate. And starring Dana Carvey. And let's just go into... Do women still wear girdles? To be honest, I don't know. It's been so long since I've been on a date, David. Those are hard to get off when you've got to go.

Yeah. Oh. I don't know. I haven't worn one. Are all of your interjections going to be bathroom-related? I don't know. We'll see. All right.

All right. Terry, hit us with the dating tips. Okay. So let's say you're across from a girl, right? You're a little nervous. She's wearing a sundress. It hits just right. Fellas, you know what I'm talking about.

I guess. I'm right there. Yes. All right. Okay. Vlani loves it. Yeah. All right.

I mean, we're all men here. We can all be brave enough to admit we love when a sundress hits just right. Absolutely. I love it, man. I don't know. I don't know. I do. Go ahead.

You're feeling a little jittery, right? There's a scarcity mindset, right? Because you're here, IRL with a girl, right? So you've got to make sure to lock it in early. Get over those nerves and make sure that she knows she's beautiful right away. Okay. How do you do that? You compliment her appearance.

Scott, would you like to play the girl this time around? Yeah, I forgot that role-playing is a big part of your thing. Okay, yeah. All right. It's a huge part, Scott. There's no better way to teach than the role-playing. Here and in the bedroom. If only I could get that far.

All right, Terry. Oh, you haven't. Well, that's a big problem with Terry Portia. Terry's, you're a virgin, is that right? Well, last time we established that I have sex on top of Barney's beanery. But it's hard to know what's what, because you're worried about falling off the roof. We can discard anything that we talked about beforehand, by the way, and just, again, clean slate, clean slate. I definitely need to catch up on that episode.

Of course, I listened, but I forgot some of the details. I mean, look, I have so many guests, talk to so many interesting people. But yes, okay, so let's roleplay this. How do we do this? Okay. Okay, so you and I are sitting across the table. Yeah, all right. And what's your name?

My name's Terry Porch. Okay, so you're playing yourself. And so you're going to be the girl, Scott. Maybe you should put a bow in your hair. Okay. Do you have an extra bow? Yeah, I have, what color do you want? Do you have like a fuchsia?

This is like a fuchsia. It's close to fuchsia. Is that work for you? It's more of a purple. Well, try it. I think it works well with your skin tone. Yeah, I don't know. I'm more of a summer.

What do you guys think? Yeah, what do you guys think? I think turquoise would look good. Do you have turquoise? I have, again, similar to turquoise, yeah. This is blue. Well. All right, let me put the blue in.

Okay. How's this? Whoa, yeah, that's definitely your color. Whoa, I'm going loco for that. Okay, all right. Well, you got three dudes who love your color. Okay, great. All right, so where are we?

We're at an amazing bar that has cowboy. It's not Barney's Vienery, is it? It's Barney's Beanie's Beinerie. Okay, look. It's the Barney's Beaternity in Pasadena. You gotta stop taking dates to Barney's Beatery. Barney's like a breakfast place, right? It's like a fart house.

It's a fart house with romance in the air. Okay. All right. All right. Where at Barney's been here? So you're on a first date. This is a role play. I'm just getting my bearings here. You met me on Hinge. We've exchanged messages, but you have not yet heard my voice. Okay. There we go. All right. And we're just sitting down, or did we meet, or am I, I'm waiting for you at the table, I guess? Usually I am a little late. So, yeah. Why? Well, Scott, when you're going on this many dates and coming from the agency like I am, well, you know.

I don't even care. All right. Here, I'm just waiting for you at the table. And so you're not, Scott, you're like Rebecca or something. I'll be Rebecca. Okay. All right. Clomp, clomp, clomp. I'm wearing my lifts. Oh.

Hi, are you, are you my date? I'm Rebecca. Rebecca, you are looking absolutely gorgeous tonight. Here, give me a hug. And let me know if you'd like a kiss, too. I'd like to get out of the friend zone as fast as possible. Is that how you talk? Hmm?

Is that how you talk? Yeah, it is actually. Yeah. I think you'll come to find that my voice isn't what you'll always expect based on my gorgeous face online. But when you meet me, IRL, you're going to learn to love this voice. Okay. I, you know what, I think I'm going to keep this in the friend zone. I'm so sorry. I just, I'm not feeling this yet. It's very quick, I know, to make a reaction like that, but I just don't think that it's going to work out. My name's Rebecca. Rebecca, so nice to meet you.

I'm totally fine with this being in the friend zone. I still think we can have a lovely time. And hey, I'm leaving things open to change your mind. Okay, we don't have to continue, actually. I could just go home right now. You haven't spent any money yet. You know, we haven't, there's no sunk costs. Rebecca, I'm going to be honest with you. Seeing you with that bow in your hair, it's making me go loco.

So if you could please, just give me five minutes of your time. I think we can turn this from the friend zone into the end zone? Sure. The end zone. I hate to complete your thought. I just, it popped to me. my head that that would rhyme and there's no chance of you getting into the end zone that's so funny because i have buddies who are in the nfl there's an end zone in that as well oh really yeah but go on

oh that's crazy um so that is usually what happens she at this point does start to talk to another guy but i'm patient yeah hey do you want to get out of here by the way yeah baby okay i don't want to leave with you either uh hey what about you sir excuse me does any of you gents know where the bathroom is uh i'm a lady first of all it's right over over there on the left. Okay, thanks. Okay. Oh, there he goes.

Are you knocking on the door? What was that? Those were my feet walking away. This bathroom's far enough that you won't hear. Oh, okay. But we can hear your voice? I'm yelling as loud as I can. Oh, okay.

Thank you. Thanks, fellas. All right. See, Rebecca, those are your other options. I'll be frank with you. Maybe you don't, the attraction isn't immediate, but it can grow. What part of town is this?

Why is everyone so? a fucking weirdo. Well, LA can be, you know. LA has like movie start. Like, honestly, I thought you would be a, like, didn't you say that you're in the entertainment industry or? I am an agent, yes. Yeah.

Who do you represent? Well, right now I'm hip pocketing the guy who spins burgers on his umbrella. Oh. He spins burgers? Yeah. What does that even mean? Well, he's got this umbrella and there's a burger that spins round and round and round. You keep thinking it's going to fall.

Or at least the meat's going to fall out. But actually, it stays on that umbrella all day long. And you're just hip-pocketing? What will, yeah. What will it take for you to bring them on as a real client? Well, here's the thing. I got to get promoted first. But once on there, boom, I got a bunch of people hip-pocketed where I can hint the ground running.

I don't think there's a future between us. I'm so sorry. I just want to be very clear with you. Thank you for being clear. And I'm going to say, let's leave it open for you to change your mind. I'm not going to leave it open. I'm going to slam this shot, actually. Awesome.

Going to lock it up. Oh, there you go. Okay. He's back. I'm back. I thought you said that door was really far away. It was. I'm wearing one of those necklaces that they wear a Love Island.

Oh, the microphone neckline? Yeah. The Love microphone? Yeah, I must have accidentally turned it on. Why are you wearing that, sir? Because I saw the show, and I thought, that looks stylish. And I went to go buy one and they realized it was a microphone. I usually keep the mic pack off.

It's just an accessory, but I must have bumped into it. It turned it out while I was closing that door. And then you hooked it into the Comedy Bang Bang Recording feed. Okay, I got to get out of this bar. I'm so sorry. I don't like any of my options here. I'm just going to go home. Okay.

Have a beautiful day. And it was lovely to meet you. Yeah, why is this at 11 a.m. by the way? I think this is a nice bar. Okay, I got to go. Bye. Can I get the door here? I just need to leave the...

Let me open that for you. Okay. All right, goodbye. Okay, so that's a good example of when a fling doesn't always pan out fully. Yeah, what did we learn from that? Like, what were the lessons? I thought you were going to give us tips of how to, like, pretty much you just turned me off immediately. Yeah, well, you were not, you, Scott, let's be fair.

You were not giving her much of a chance. Well, I mean, Terry walked in and immediately started speaking with that voice. Do you find that's the biggest problem when you go on date? It's one of the problems, yeah. I think so. But it's not the fully the problem. I've been told that, you know, sometimes it's like the pheromones don't line up, you know? You can't, that's the thing.

You've got to be open to rejection. Yeah, pheromones, by the way, are usually you can't smell them. What is it I'm smelling with you? That is a ton of different clones all mixed together. I call it the tornado. It's like a suicide for like draccar noir and axe body spray? Yeah, it's ex body spray, some stuff from ASAP, and then, Samples from Nordstroms.

Okay. Oh. I think I'm beginning to maybe learn a little bit about how you give tips. I mean, was the point of that exercise for us to sort of watch you fail that date so that we could learn what not to do? The first tip is don't take it personally. I see you guys are chasing up the wrong tree because what I did was everything right. But sometimes the attraction is not over. He's there.

So you have to pick your head out and start again. Well, I'm liking, I want these tips. I'm interested to hear the breakdown of like, you know, what to do and whatnot. Yeah, I thought, and that's what I thought you were going to do, by the way, is give tips. Do you have any tips? Yeah, do you have some more tips. More tips? You haven't given one tip.

No, he said, don't take it personally. Don't take it personally. Oh, I see. How to deal with rejection. Could we do just the tip? Okay, yeah, just the tip. God, I wish. Okay, so I guess for the first tip is always being complimentary.

Make your attraction clear so you don't, yeah, don't have to, And you did that when you came in, you said I looked beautiful. Exactly. And I immediately did get friend zoned in that situation. But at least now I know. And dating's a numbers game. So you just got to try again. Yeah.

Look, there's someone for everyone. I truly believe that unless you don't want someone. Exactly. And then there's no one for you. Mm-hmm. Those are the two types of things they can happen. Mm-hmm. And my tips are for people who want someone and that somebody wants them.

Yeah. You may be the exception that proves the rule, though. There may not be anyone for you, even though, even though you want someone very badly. Scott, it's totally possible, but I find it hard to believe. Gosh, with how many beautiful, successful people I'm hanging out with at the industry every day, I would find it shocking. Yeah, this hamburger guy.

All right, let's do, what's the second tip? The second tip is don't be afraid to nag a little. Oh. Okay. So that's that thing where you, like, insult a little bit to make them. You're negative to share a day. To show that you're an alpha who is, who doesn't care. It isn't needy.

Is that the purpose of this? Yeah, that's right. A lot of times people can feel a little too safe with you. So sometimes you've got to just hit them with something that's going to make the atmosphere feel flirty as fuck. What's an example? Girls like a jerk sometimes. Right, right, right. Exactly.

I mean, that movie The Jerk, we all loved it. Yeah. Including women. Men, women. We all loved it. We all loved it. I can't speak for women, but I'll make sure to ask in one of my dates. Okay.

Maybe not ask about the movie. movie the jerk from 1980. 1980. 1980. Um, 1980. All right.

So, so what's an example of negging a woman? Okay. Let's say, okay, so you started. We're not going to

role play this? I would love to roll play. Okay, can I not be the woman this time? Sure. Pass the bow to whoever you like. All right, David.

Okay. I'm putting the bow in my hair. Oh, hello. I'm Justine. Justine Bateman. Justine Bateman. Okay.

Wow. I'm still. famous person, Jason Bateman's sister of family ties fame. Oh, I don't like to talk about the old days so much. Oh, I guess we've started the scene already. Anyway, it's wonderful to have you in the restaurant. Can I show you to your table? Thank you.

Sure. Do you want my autograph? No. Okay. All right. Here we have a nice two-top for you. I'm meeting someone that I met on Hinge. I haven't met him yet.

To quote the great Tommy Lee Jones, I don't care. Okay. Clomp, clump, clump, clump, clump. clomp clomp oh hi are you terry hey it's me terry i'm wearing lifts sorry about the clumps well that's okay you're looking absolutely gorgeous tonight nice to meet you nice to meet you too jenstein uh and thank you for saying that i look nice oh yeah i mean you're the type of girl that i'd be down bad for that i'd go absolutely loco for i really appreciate that what did you just do cough what do you get him to brinkia Lucas and Bernie Pienery?

Oh, sorry. No, I was just laughing at what you said. Well, you probably feel pretty ridiculous having tuberculosis at Barnes Pienery. I mean, a lot of people around here might get really scared knowing that you should be... I'm sorry, I'm the manager here. Did someone say someone has tuberculosis? No, no, no. This lady has tuberculosis decided to come to Bernie's peonery.

Okay, I need to call the... No, I don't have tuberculosis. I have eaten omelets here before. I'm a doctor. Someone needs a doctor. Get out of here. Stop. Get out of here.

I can't have any more competition. Because Justine, you're looking gorgeous tonight. Would you like an omelet? I go loco for the omelets here. Yeah. I have had the omelets here, too. So, yes, I would love one thing. Do I still need to be at the table?

Is there anything to be concerned about? We're okay. Okay. Yeah. All right. Enjoy your meal. And you, sir, do you need to be hanging around the table? Nobody needs a urologist or anything.

I just heard about tuberculosis? What were you going to do, inspect his balls? I'm a die. Maybe. Okay. Just a case. Go back to your tables. If I'm not needed, I'll go.

I got to go to the bathroom anyway. I'll take a ball scan. Turning my mic pack off. Terry, did you have any trouble getting here with traffic and stuff? Traffic is actually pretty clear. But one of my lips got stuck under the brake, so I did rear end someone on the way in. Oh, no. My shoes are a little too big.

It's wishful thinking. Did anybody get hurt? Did anyone get hurt? Well, just my heart, because I knew I might blow it with you if I was late. Oh, you're sweet. I want to hear about you. Well, I am an activist and an actress, and I... That's fascinating.

I've lived in L.A. for most of my life. That's fascinating. Tell me more. I like to play tennis. Oh, that's fascinating. Tell me a little, just a bit more about that. I have friends. I play with a couple times a week, and... Oh, friends. Tell me more. I'm intrigued. God, I've got goosebumps are so god's damn interesting. Oh, thanks.

Hi, excuse me, can I get you guys any drinks here? I'm sorry, we're a little understaff tonight, so I'm taking up a little bit of the slack. But any drinks here? Yeah, something from the bar? Justine, this dinner's on me, so let's start with some drinks. Oh, that's very nice. I'll have a skinny margarita, please. Skinny margarita?

Skinny margarita? Wow. Are you on a diet? it? No, not necessarily. I just try to stay, you know, healthy. Yeah. But you're always looking in the mirror at yourself and wondering, like, what should I be eating? Oh, that doesn't make me feel great. Sir, do you want to order or, I mean, like I said, we're understaffed. We'll do two skinny margaritas. Oh, okay. So, sure. All right. Salt? I'll take salt. Make mine a banana dackery, actually. Okay. Like, not skinny? Just a full.

it's skinny. Skinny Banana Decorri. I'm not quite sure how to do that, but I'll ask them at the bar. A skinny banana decory for the lady, and you want the skinny margarita? If they can do it, skinny, great. And if they can't, it's okay. Okay, good, good. Justine, you changed your order after I commented

on it. God, I must have some kind of effect on you. Yeah, maybe you do, or you could. I think the jury's still out as far as I'm concerned. Yeah, totally. Keep it a mystery. So do you like movies? Who cares about me? Justine. But yeah, my favorite movie's Oppenheimer.

Wow. Because I thought that was an eternal bore. Okay, here are your drinks, and I got to say we're closing. I don't know. Is this a date? I'm not sure why you scheduled it for 145 a.m. I don't know, Justine. How are you feeling? Is this indeed? I mean, you know,

the... We're closing. Can you answer a little quicker, please? I feel like I want to just kind of keep exploring, you know? Okay. Well, can you pay? out here's your check you're paying for it sir yeah i am paying for it i am paying for it i are you sure i we could split it if you want no take my debit card this one's on me your debit card yeah okay okay we don't this is diners club we don't accept this oh fuck hang on a second do you have actually any here why don't you just take miamix okay justine i can't allow platinum wow yeah that's

sick on money in the 80s i had a lot of zituals all right i'll be right back justine yeah you offering to pay for this really melted my heart. Oh, it's no big deal. Thank you. Just Dean. Let's crack open that calendar and see when you're free next. It's really a short date, though. Yeah. Unfortunately, I didn't look up when Barney's beenery closed, but I'd love to see you again. Crack open that calendar so I can go loco for you a second time again. Okay, I would, but it's stuck between the folds of my bag right now, and I just don't know if I have the gumption to dig through it and find my calendar, but I'll try. Hi, okay, here's the bill.

Do you mind signing that? We're putting the chairs on the tables and everything. I can sign it. The lady's actually digging through a bag to try to unclump her calendar from the bottom of it. I think that would be fraud if you were to sign it. Okay, I found my journal and my address book, but I can, for the life of me, find my calendar. I'm working on it, though. Okay.

Do you mind signing this while you're, and take that outside, whatever it is you're doing? You're rifling through your... Yeah, the only issue is I'm rifling with my right hand, so I'll sign with my left hand. I can, even though I'm right-handed. Sure. I don't look. No one checks these anyway. I don't really care.

Does that look okay? It looks fine. I mean, I don't know. Do you mind just leaving the, and you, sir, the doctor? You've been over my shoulder this entire time. What do you want from the table? I just wanted to ask. Yeah.

Could you unlock the bathroom just real quick? And then I'll get out of your hair, I promise. It's five of two. You want to, okay, sure. Five of two, I can't work. You're not going to make a mess in there, right? We already cleaned it up. Of course not.

why do you say of course not i don't know you i'm insulted just because i got to go a lot doesn't mean i'm going to make a mess it's not like i'm carrying my gas canister with me you're going to drop it everywhere you have a gas canister yeah it's too hard to explain to you and it's got nothing to do with what's going on here's the key here's the key just don't make a mess appreciate it all right do you guys mind uh just wrapping it up here sure it was also great working with molly shannon on it or or no we're oh sorry sorry role play I'm Justine Bateman Justine? Where'd you go?

Justine? Why is Jason Bateman here? I was speaking in tongues. Oh, wow. It's one of my other hobbies. Did I mention that on tennis? Oh, my gosh. Tell me more about tennis.

It's a real sort of whack-in-a-yellow ball, you know, sort of activity for me. My other favorite movie is downsizing. What about you? falling down with Michael Douglas Wow Justine You're a woman of taste How's it going with

Cracking open that calendar That stuck at the bar? I got it Yep How's next week Oh next week Pretty open What day you thinking

How about Tuesday at 8 Right here I'll see you there 8pm here now Tomorrow Tuesday next week Yeah Whoa okay

Wow I'm gonna be going Absolutely local hotel then Are you sure there's no way I can see him before that Nope very busy Okay Well that's what the women

I usually attack, attract, anxious avoidant, and busy times. I'm sorry, I'm the manager, I'm back. Did you say the women you usually attack? Is that a Freudian slip or something? Yeah, you know, I have a checkered past a little bit, but... Okay, I'm not interested, again, to quote the great Tommy Lee Jones, I do not care. I mean, listen, I get it out on Grand Theft Auto. I don't actually do it in real life.

But as a potential date, I do care a little bit. Like if you're someone who likes to attack women, then that sometimes can be a red flag for me. Right. I understand when you're dating as a woman, you have to think about flags. Green, red, and yellow. I'd like to argue that this is yellow.

We're closing, look, we're closing for the night. In fact, we're shutting down the restaurant for about a week, by the way. A week? So we're not going to be open next week. What? Wait, wait, wait. Hang on.

Are you sure we can't crack this thing open on Tuesday? I'm going absolutely loco for. I'm sorry. There's a plumbing issue, apparently. The guy who was in the bathroom. This kills me. My Uber's here, so I'm out. Goodbye.

Justine. And scene. That was a good role play. Okay. I learned a lot. So, yeah, what did we learn with this? Although I'm actually unclear what the actual lessons were. Yeah.

Well, hang on. First, wait a second. My heart is totally melted. That was one of the best things I've been on in my entire. Oh, but it was just me playing. It was just a role play. I mean, she is a real woman, but. David is playing a part here.

Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. I just feel like the women I love suddenly perished. Perished? Oh, no. It was just me pretending to be, as you asked me to. Yeah.

Justin Bateman is still alive. We want to, you know, make sure that everyone knows that. She's alive and well. You still have as much of a shot with her as you did before the role thing started. And you could contact her and see if she wants to go on a date with you. I probably will. I mean, what happened that night was magical. Okay.

Well, look, Terry, Porch, I don't know that we learned anything, but... Didn't you see how, first of all, the nagging landed. Oh, another tip is you always have to make sure that they pull out their calendar right then, so you lock in the next date right there. I got a sense of that was going to be a tip. Yeah, that's an actionable item. Look, we're running out of time, Terry, but thank you so much for these tips. I really appreciate it.

We are, again, running out of time. We only have time for one final feature on the show, And that is, of course, a little something called plugs. Sit down. It is time. Don't be scared or alarm. Pay attention and you just might get away with your life. Listen up.

Saying it once. I hope that you're ready because here come the plugs. This just might be the best one yet. Got in the gas. I just said this song because I know it won't be like. Okay. You know, a lot of younger people I've met have the calendar built into their phone. Yeah.

That's true. I never thought about that. That was shut up and listen to these plugs by Fatty Maddie Maddie Needs to Eat. Thank you so much. If you have a plugs theme, head over to CBBworld.com slash plugs. And you'll, you can upload it there. You can find everything you need for the closing remixes. And David, what are we plug in here?

How about it's plug time on CBB? Or should I prepare it at home and then send it in? No, I think people will actually use that and they'll incorporate that into some of the remixes. I want to promote, I mean, obviously first and foremost. Hey, remember Dracula? I want to suck your blood. Oh, my God. That guy was such a blood sucker.

He knows I always written for that. So I'd say it to his face. Wet Hot American Summer opens in theaters yet again for the first time for a week, starting on this Friday. Tomorrow you can watch Gail Daughtry and the Celebrity Sex Pass, the most lauded comedy of the year at home. Not a lot of comedies came out. Many of the same people who in front of and behind the camera, Wet Hot American Summer,

in this movie, Gail Dautry and the celebrity sexes. When you direct, are you in front of the camera or behind? I'm usually in front, and then we have to do a CGI to tick me out, which is a very expensive part of the process, but you know what? That's your process. That's what I do. It's like I have my things, my little quirks. And then the other thing I was going to plug is that that other movie, I mentioned,

Gail Dottry also coming back to some theaters this weekend as well. Okay, fantastic. Those are good plugs. Lonnie Portapotti, what are you plugging? Okay, I really got to get through this fast. I know this comedian, his name is James Mannion. He's going to be in the Pacific Northwest with the show Comedian Clash. September 13th, September 15th, September 16th, Vancouver, Seattle, and Portland.

Add Comedian Clash on Instagram to follow that. Okay, I'm sorry, guys. I'm really sorry. It's okay. We figured. Terry Porch, what do you want to plug? Well, there's this girl, Isabella Escalante, who's doing a show called Someone Always Dies. Keep an eye out for it because it's probably going to be at UCB or the Elysian very soon.

In L.A. Yes, in L.A. We just finished one. Is it a one woman show? It's actually in play. But it's about a college improv obsession that went way too far and came to a head. This girl's loco. She did some crazy stuff.

Also keep an eye out for her teen prom podcast on an Isabella do improv. All right. Great. Those are good plugs too. I want to plug. Look, the comedy bang bang tour is continued. We just got back from the UK, had such great shows over there with Andy Daly and Paul F. Tompkins. And we are now in the West Coast and the Pacific Northwest.

Tonight we're in Seattle at the Moore Theater. Tomorrow on August 11th, we're doing two shows in Portland at Revolution Hall. On the 12th, Wednesday, we are in San Francisco at the Castro. And then in September, on September 8th, we are in Denver. at the Paramount Theater. September 9th, we are in Dallas at the Majestic Theater. September 10th, we are in San Antonio at the Aztec Theater. And then September 11th, there is a venue change.

We are moving to another venue. So those tickets, I believe, are now back on sale. There was a little ambiguity because they didn't know if we had to cancel it or not. But all of your tickets that you've bought will be honored at the new venue. And you can buy new tickets. And then here in Los Angeles on September 19th, we're at the Orphium Theater, and then three great new shows came up. September 6th, we're in Huntington, New York. Sorry, that was October 6th, Huntington, New York.

October 7th, our rescheduled Boston Medford show is back on at the Chevalier Theater. And then we're finishing the tour October 8th in Troy, New York. Those are great new shows. Those are all on sale now. Can I make an observation about this? It sounds like you are in the UK and then you're now in California. Yeah.

And then we're going back to New York. That reminds me if you went to our website, MADJB.com, you get on our mailing list, which is not just the Middle Age Dad Jamman and all the new fun videos we put out all the time, but it's also for news about how to marry summer, Gail Dauchy, the state, all that sort of stuff. This sounds like a hot mailing list.

It's one of the hottest mailing lists. on earth. Yeah, how many times you mail people a day? We put out one every few months. We're not going to bug you. Anyway, go check out. You can buy all tickets for the Comedy Bang Bang Tour over at CBBWorld.com slash tour. And if you are a maximumist subscriber, we are putting up all of the tour dates the very

next day after we do them. And you can listen to all of those. I'm going to throw something your way. I know you're trying to finish this up, but I am. I need to tell you something. And your behest, by the way, because you need to leave in literally two minutes. I want to tell you. The audience, I want to tell.

I've seen these live shows on the tours. They're fabulous. It's a great night out. I highly recommend it. That's right. Get a babysitter. Or, you know, who am I to tell you what to do with your children? But I would get a babysitter.

If you're, like, both parents, if you are a two-parent family, I'm excluding throuples. I know when I say that. My parents left me home alone three weeks ago. Did they really? Did you slap your face with aftershave? Yeah, I was very upset. Look, go get all of those tickets and while you're over at CBB World become a subscriber. All right, that's going to be it for plugs.

Let's close up the old plug bag. I want to smoke weed a breed. I want to smoke weed. A bag. Now you know. Wow, that was a bag for the plug by Dumb Genius. Thanks so much of Dumb Genius. And speaking of thank you, David, I want to thank you so much for making us,

making a stop here with us on your promotional tour. I really appreciate it. We love having you here. It's been fun. Today, I'm doing 19 podcasts. 19. And this is the first one. It's the first one.

And this is the middle of the afternoon. Each is two hours, yeah. Wow. Okay. Well, I really appreciate this. You know, when you're here, your family. Thank you. When you're not here, I never think about you.

When you're not here, fuck you. That's good. That's better. That's better. All right. and hey, Lonnie Port-a-Potty. Lonnie, where are you? Lonnie, where did you go?

Oh, he's back. Sorry, I didn't want to make any more noise, so I was just waiting in there while everyone did their plugs. But you're not going to the bathroom? No, I went to the bathroom right after my plugs. Oh, I see, but you didn't want to open the door. Okay, well, thank you, Lonnie. Thank you so much for... It was an absolute pleasure to be here. Let's stop that BM.

Okay, sure thing. And Terry Porch. Clomp, clomp, clomp, sorry, we're in lifts. Don't we know you are? Thank you so much. And good luck out there. I know it's hard out there for people like you. It's hard for people like me, but also pretty easy.

All right, yeah. All right. I have to go because I'm going to Turkey to get some plugs. Oh, I understand that reference. We'll see you next time. Thanks, everyone. Goodbye.