Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Wayne Brady, Lily Sullivan, Jacob Wysocki

Episode Date: April 21, 2025

Wayne Brady is in studio talking about going from theme park theater to Broadway musicals, and why he is loving making his new podcast - "What If." Then, Peloton instructor Krendall arrives to help her boys get crumped and crammed. Finally, Bugs Bunny drops by to organize a comedy sketch show to save his friends. Comedy Bang! Bang! - aim high, burn bright, and drink brown. Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/cbb 

Some like it hot, some like it cold, I like it stinky and covered in mold. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thank you to Pugsley's Chicken for that catchphrase submission. I don't know if that one's gonna be the one. I don't know. Some like it hot, some like it cold, I like it stinky and covered in mold. I don't know, that could be the thing we say every single episode.

That's hot. Yeah, it's not bad, right? If you heard that every single week, would you be annoyed by it after week one, maybe? I would be turned on. You would be, really. We're gonna, I wanna segue into a What Turns You On podcast, by the way.

We're gonna get very deep into it. Thank you to Pugsley's Chicken, I'm sorry, that one's not gonna stick, but welcome to Comedy Bang Bang into it. Thank you to Pugsley's Chicken. I'm sorry, that one's not going to stick, but welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week. My name is Scott Aukerman. We have an exceptional lineup for the show today. Coming up a little later, we have a Peloton instructor, and we also have America's favorite rabbit. America. I wonder if that's just the lower 48, because I would imagine in Hawaii or Alaska, they might have different tastes on rabbits.

Who's your favorite rabbit, if you don't mind me asking? And I'll introduce you in a second. My favorite rabbit. No one's asked me that before. Ever? No one's asked me that before. This is impossible. No, no, no.

That's never come up in conversation. I've been asked about my favorite foul, but never my favorite rabbit. Okay, two-part question. What's your favorite rabbit and what's your favorite foul? Oh, I hate foul. I don't have a favorite. My family, we are foul killers.

Are you really? You come from a long line of foul killers. Deep family grudge. It's, we are kind of like the vampire killers of the South, except it's foul. Is this like the Hatfield and the McCoys? A foul did something to your family? Goes back to it's a whole thing.

Frederick Douglas, the white house, even Lincoln foul. This goes all the way to the top. Ruin talks between our people. Then the secret society have been assigned, trained as a kid, killed fouls from here to Argentina. How many have you killed in your entire- 3,086. 3,086.

And I remember every face, every single face. So if you killed one a day, that's plus vitamins. That's probably about 10 years of killing fouls. But I just stopped. I just stopped because between my busy schedule, my shooting schedule. So your busy schedule and your shooting schedule are two different things. Two different things. Two different things. So you're very busy when you're not shooting television. Mm-hmm. Oh yeah. I'm always tired.

Are you really? I'm always tired. You've, by the way, for the listener, this is a podcast, you can't see what's happening. Our guest has been yawning in between every word, which is tough to do. So shout out to your editors that the fact that they've been able to assemble, because really it sounds like that. So nice job. Yeah, we just gave everyone a little taste of what it actually sounds like. Yelling behind the curtain. Yeah. Well, this is an incredible story. I don't think anyone's ever gotten this out of you for any interview. This is an exclusive.

It's because I'm so tired, I let the truth slip. I understand. So I'll look. We gotta get you more early, this may be the earliest we've ever done a show, by the way. Wow. Yeah, cause I was wondering when I was asked to do it and the time came across, he said,

wow, this guy's gonna do it at nine o'clock. That's really sweet. I believe nine o'clock was a request from your team. Because, well, yes. And now I realize, so I thank you so much because I thought, oh, they're doing it at nine, but I realized that you're doing it for me because when I leave here, when I'm not killing foul

and also rabbits, but I'll go into that later. Oh okay. Yeah, we'll hear about that. On Mondays as of right now I'm an adjunct professor at USC so I'm a lecturer there because I just need something else during the week to do. Sure. I just need one more thing to make me tired. What are, what is your field, and I'll introduce you in a second. What is your field that you're lecturing on? If you don't mind me asking.

The class is called improvisation for camera. But what I really do in the class is, well, I teach killing the foul. Oh, so this is a secret kind of thing. It's like Buffy the vampire slayer. But besides that, yeah, it's acting for, it's improvisation for a camera. And also I teach straight acting in it, but also using improvisation as an audition tool, using it to free themselves up, pre audition, not to

get boring actor-y stuff, but to give pre-life to scenes. Teaching them that when you get a script, that there's gotta be something before, even though this is a written script that came out of somebody else's mind. Your job as the actor, if you're using play, fun, just play. Come up with something, don't just start at that point because it's not as rich as if you're able to,

oh, I'll make up that this thing happened, get into the script. And then, then what, what I also hate seeing from tapes from other actors is when the script is over, you just go, and then Jeremy left and they go, okay, I'm just a shit, shit is finished. And they click over and they turn off the camera. They're done. Like, no play. So I teach them to do all that on camera.

And- How often are you watching tapes from other actors? Actually more than not, because I also produce shows. So I'm seeing people do things and half the time I'm like, oh, don't do that, that's gonna lose you the job. I like you're getting in there early with America's bright stars of tomorrow. Yeah, because if one of them hits it, I want to be able to call on a favor. It's like,

hey, man, remember me as I'm at their red carpet and I've got a 40 in a brown paper bag because I've fallen off and, hey, man, it's me. Can I get in that movie? And then they have to ignore me or, or they go, Hey, it's so good to see you. And they pat my hand and walk on. Yeah. I think that's what would probably happen, especially with the 40 in your. Oh, oh yeah. Oh yeah.

Oh, that's going to happen. That's kind of the dream though. You know what I mean? If like, you could get rid of everything in your life and just have a 40 in your hand in a paper bag. Burn bright, drink brown. That is, that's your new slogan. Yes, that's, well, I mean, we hit upon comedy bang bang,

we care, last week. Okay. But burn bright, drink brown, I think that might. Comedy bang bang, burn bright, drink brown. And it's gotta be a dis- brown at the very very end. A tiny key change down one half step. You know I also was at USC talking to the children, probably the same kids about a month ago or so I believe. Were you there for their sketch fest or whatever they call it? Yes, fracas. Is that what it was called?

Fracas? How do you pronounce that word? Oh, there was a Is that what it was called? Frakis? Frakis? Frakis? Frakis? How do you pronounce that word? I haven't really said that. Oh, there was a hullabaloo and a frakis. Frakis sounds- Frakis sounds wrong. Yeah, it doesn't sound wrong. Frakis, I think it's frakis.

Frakis. I think the way you said it originally, but it sounds like frakis. Frakis, it's got to be a broad, it's got to be a broad. Frakis. Yeah, frakis. Oh, there's a huge frakis. Yeah, there was a bunch of michigas and some frakis ensued. But that's one thing we have in common. We have a huge fracas. Yeah, yeah, there was a bunch of miscegas and some fracas ensued. Yeah.

But that's one thing we have in common. We have a lot in common. Let's see, you played Billy Flynn in Chicago. So did I. You were on Broadway. I was in high school. Hey, you know what? This is what I tell people like in my class.

Here's the big secret. For those of you theater kids that you do improvisation and sketch and you did, Broadway is like high school. It's a lot like it. Broadway is exactly like doing your junior or senior class play, except it's Broadway, which then is just like doing, for those of you that have done theme park shows,

that you do five shows a day, which is just like doing a cruise ship show. The only difference is scope and scale and professionalism. But it's the same thing, and budget, but it's the same muscle. Sometimes, I shit you not, I'll be on stage, and this sounds like I'm not a very present actor, but I'm very, very present.

Well, you do so many of these shows, you gotta think about something. But every Blue Moon, I'll marvel at how cool it is that I'm doing this thing and go, wow. And then I go, this is just like when I did Oklahoma in my junior year of high school. Could you play in Oklahoma? Because I was in Oklahoma too.

Shut up. Yeah. We have very similar careers. OK, on the count of three, let's say who we were. Ready? One, two, three. Judd. Oh, you and I were at odds. Oh.

Poor Judd is dead. Well, yeah. Yeah. I got permanent ear damage from the gun that Judd or I fired. I can't remember that scene anymore. So long ago. I think. You know when Curly goes into Judd's shack, I guess.

Yes. Right after the song, right? Yeah. Because it's been forever since I've even seen the movie. And then one of them shoots a gun and makes a hole in the wall or something. It's gotta be Judd because I don't think that Curly would shoot the gun because I don't remember. I think they, maybe they both do or something.

And then I seem to remember that when I would shoot, like there was a little thing that they would pop out of the wall, like I shot a hole in the wall. Your school had money. This was professional theater. Oh, excuse me. Oh, I didn't stop at high school. I went on for four more years and then quit.

Quit early so that you don't end up with the 40 in your hand. Exactly. Burn bright, no brown. We have a lot in common. He was in Hamilton. I watched a production of it, not the one he was in. You know our guest, I'm gonna introduce him now.

Let us Terry know further. He first burst onto our screens. In whose line is it anyway? How many seasons of that did you do? Well, we still- You're still doing it. Uh, which how many seasons of that did you do? Well, we still, as of, because it's on CW went from a ABC for years to a reboot on the seed CW. And I want to say, God, I guess we've been doing that for seven, eight years now. Like, like this may be the final season.

I'm, I'm not sure the CW cut. Is this an announcement, an exclusive announcement? Is this the final season? Oh no, they've already talked about it. So I, you know, I don't know. I try to keep up with those things, but I think it's 20 something seasons if you put them all together.

Yeah, of just, you know. How many years? Cause it's since the nineties, right? Is that when it started? I think we went on the air in 99 and then it was 10 consecutive seasons. Right. And then it was on ABC family for a few years, just running and running and running, and then we started the CW version because you know, for network TV,

it's cheap programming and it's funny as hell. So they get a bargain. So yeah. Really? The only, uh, the only costs are the 20 million episode, I assume, that you get, right? Oh yeah. Yeah. That's how much they pay me to improvise.

Yeah. 20 million 40s. Right. 20 million 40s in my dressing room in a pyramid. It's got to be- That's a tough pyramid to build. It's got to be a pyramid. So shout out to Gustav the PA that has to do that.

But we then have seen him in so many things, you a five time Emmy award winner, I believe. Yeah, well, you know what? That's on Wikipedia, it's really six, but I don't fight it because it's, because my talk show also won, when your show wins, you're a producer wins. So that, yeah, so it's really six,

but I take five because that's also as a performer. So I take, take that and, and a bunch of nominations from the daytime thing, which, which is fun. Do they, when you go to the daytime Emmys, is it in the daytime? Is it, is it at like 9 AM and everyone's in a tux? Which would be weird, right? That actually would be fun. No, I experience it.

Yeah, I mean, no, it's, it's, it's, it's late. It's early evening. It's early evening. So they don't give you the evening one to make it seem like. Late afternoon, early evening because well, this is when it was telecast because it's gone through, through so many. At first it was a big deal to date the daytime Emmys and then they cut budget and then it wasn't. And then it was, was basically you, you could stream it.

Um, and then it was right. If you wanted to, no one's making you no, no, right. Right. No, no, yeah, nobody watch. And so it's a thing now again. So it all depends on when they would do it, because if it was going to go live, then, then we do it at five. Live at five.

That's how you can remember this. And that's another thing that you could do as your motto. Live at five. Live at five. Burn bright, drink brown, live at five. We should do a live episode at 5 p.m. every day, or 5 a.m. I like this early morning thing. I want to go earlier. If you do it at 5 a.m., I'll come back.

Yes, because you have nothing going on the rest of the time. Nothing going on. Let's get to the end of your introduction. You know him as the host of Let's Make a Deal, just a legend in this business. He now has a podcast called What If that's out now, quite a few episodes out right now. Please welcome Wayne Brady. Thank you so much. Welcome to the One Timers Club, the exclusive One-Timer's Club. It feels good. This jacket that you gave me feels really good. Yeah, it's velvet.

It's kind of like the master's jacket in a way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I never wear the master's jacket. We call it the- Yes, the primary. The primary jacket. We no longer call it that. It's the primary jacket.

Do they? They gotta change the name of that, don't they? That's like the last thing being called a Masters. That's one of the things, but I don't see it changing. That's one of those clubs that they're not gonna get off of that. Yeah, I guess it is a different usage of the word Master than because they have a mastery of golf, I guess.

Right, which there are some things that I would fight for that those of you that are interested in the entomology of golf, I guess. Right, which there are some things that I would fight for that those of you that are interested in the entomology of words, yes, I do believe that master bedroom should have been changed because they called it that specifically for that. Changing the master's tournament, don't change it because it does mean mastery of something.

Yes, exactly. Maybe they should just change it to the mastery tournament and then it would clear everything up Mmm, then it sounds like witchcraft. That's a good point. Although Agatha all along was a very big on Disney Plus I really enjoyed that. Yes. So did I you got a Patti LuPone who know Patti LuPone She Broadway diva legend extraordinaire never worked with Patti LuPone longtime fan longtime lover except I do have, I love, I hate when people say, I love this person. And then they go, but, so I'll just say, I love Patti LuPone, period.

New thought. It is interesting to me though. When, you know, recently she had that thing of, um, when she, I don't know if you saw her theater was close to the theater where, uh, where Alicia Keys is musical. Yes. Hell's Kitchen. Hell's Kitchen. Great show.

Won all these Tony awards, beat my show, The Wiz for our Grammy. But that's okay. Cause if you're going to lose, lose to Alicia Keys. She took umbrage offense at the fact that Hell's Kitchen's theater was loud. It's hip hop, it's R&B, it's big and boisterous. And she at her other theater, she got angry. And that's one of the first times I went, wow, that is some, that is some mature white lady privilege that you are going to tell a whole theater to turn, to turn your music down. Wow. This really is the great white way. You know, I was, I was the guy she yelled at in the, in the crowd. Shut up. Yeah, that was me. That actually would make me happy if it really was. You singing. I was so embarrassed. Hey, Patty. Hey, Patty. Patty. What's up, baby?

Patty, you, I know you see me. Patty, Patty. I did go see her and Mandy Patinkin's two-person show on New Year's Eve, the matinee. Wow. Several years ago, my wife and I went and it was so many old people who were falling asleep and the sound of candy wrappers being opened was so loud. And she couldn't get mad at that? She was, I think she was trying to tune all of that out. So she sang, don't cry for me Argentina directly at us And looked us in the eye the entire time

because we were the only young people paying attention. It was thrilling. Which I do say, I'd say once again, as a diehard theater kid, I love Patti LuPone and I love Mandy Patinkin. I got a chance to work with him for season on this thing on CBS, The Good Fight. You don't say, that's a picture of him right up there.

Yeah. So, so I give props to Broadway royalty. Right in the background. You can see half of my body. We're waiting a show with him. He was in a movie that, uh, that I wrote and was in. Wait a second. What is that?

Uh, it's the Mr. Show movie. Uh, Wayne's going to walk across the room and take a look at it. I'm the police officer and he is playing the Ronnie Dobbs in the Ronnie Dobbs musical. That is hilarious. The fact that you have Mandy Batanken shirtless. We didn't ask him to be. He offered. He showed up like that. He's like, I woke up like this.

Are you going to wardrobe, Ms. Burtanking? No, this is me. This is it. This is it. I love that you are such a theater fan. You still do it all the time, which is great. And who better to do theater than, you know? I mean, if you're not doing theater, who should?

Well, cause it's not even, see, like I'm not even a fan and it's a luxury that it's, it's, it's what I do. It's a passion. It's no, no, it's my job. It's a, it's like, we show up on set to that. That's the other part of my job. I, I do the let's make a deal thing, or I shoot a sitcom or something, but then I go to do Broadway because that's what I love. That's it's because I have to make that distinction sometime because there are people that they dibble, oh, I do some theater when I'm not doing my soap opera. Well, good for you.

But this is like, that's my job. Like that, that, that's my dream. What's a, what's a dream role that you've never gotten to do that you would love to do? Oh, that's a great question. Um, thank you so much. I've been working on my questions. Your questions are amazing.

I've been doing this for 16 years. I just got good like three weeks ago. You know what? Good for you for not giving up and showing up with a 40 in your hand. Good for you for not burning out. Good for you. Burning bright and drinking around. Come on, man.

We care. I'm getting that t-shirt. A dream role just off the top of my head. I would have loved to have done. Um, well, as my daughter likes to point out when she listens to the soundtrack of a hairspray, she goes, dad, you would have been so great at seaweed, but you're too old now. I go, oh, thanks for turning for letting you know about the passage of time.

Well, I think, I mean, I saw it to kill a mockingbird on Broadway that Aaron Sarkin won, and it had like 50 year olds playing the little kids, you know, like you could still do it. It's the magic of theater. It's the magic of theater, but not the magic of my knees. I'm not doing those splits now with seaweed. So that's just one, and I would have loved to have played,

oh, if there's ever a, I would love to play Applegate. Who's Applegate? In Damn Yankees. Oh, that's a great show. That's how Jerry Lewis did that show. You saw Jerry Lewis. Twice. What was it like?

Cause I had a couple of friends in the cast. I thought, I was thrilled because big fan of, you know, Dean Martin, Jerry Lewis, and all that, and he just kind of stopped the show. Real talent. Stopped the show in the middle of it and did bits for a long time that were sort of. Non-related. Yeah. Non-related to the thing.

I thought it was very funny. And then Pat Oswald has a gift to a bunch of us who did a show with him, a stage reading of the day, the clown cried. He bought us all tickets to see it again. And then everyone just made fun of it the entire time. And I felt kind of embarrassed because I liked it. It's you don't ever be embarrassed for liking weird theater.

When you go back into the past, give me a pep talk about that. Yeah. I want to just hug you, but I need to introduce myself before time traveling Wayne, because it's odd if this brother just appears out of nowhere and starts hugging you in the middle of a theater with Jerry Lewis. 96. I don't know if I would have been aware of you yet, but right. Like I would just would have been a complete stranger to you. Hey, what are you doing? And then on stage and then I disappear again, all those things that once would have just been weird. And maybe I would have thrown you off

the rest of your career path. That's a good point. Yeah, I would have been constantly like, time travel exists, I think? And then suddenly I would have, in 99, I would have seen you and whose line is it anyway? And I would have been. But maybe we would have crossed paths

because I feel like we would have crossed paths earlier because before Who's Line, I did this thing called Quickwits on NBC with a bunch of folks that I know that we all have cross paths earlier because before Who's Line, I did this thing called Quickwits on NBC with a bunch of folks that I know that we all have in common. I feel like I met the person you work with, Jonathan, a lot. Jonathan, yeah, we've been together since then. I feel like I met him in the 90s

and haven't seen him since, but so. Yeah, like I know that we've crossed paths and then before then, my group, The House Full of Honkeys, we used to do a show down on what's the comedy theater that isn't there anymore on- I-O or- On the promenade or like close to- Oh, oh, oh yeah. The, yeah, I did a lot of shows there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Second City and UCB- That was called the Up- No. No, it was- I think it was a U word. It was was called the up. No. No, it was. I think it was a U word. It was close to the water. Yeah.

And a lot of us used to intermingle in that, that, that late 90s comedy mishmash. Did all of their live shows to get there, to get their show. Exactly. I did a bunch of sketch shows there. So, so we, we really are very close. I feel like we're too.

We have a lot in common other than the success part. Yeah, like it's quantum entanglement. It's very close. I feel like we're too- We have a lot in common other than the success part. Yeah, like it's quantum entanglement. It's very close that I feel even better. Boom, boom, boom. You're who I would have been had I made a lot of different choices. But I have that picture of me and Mandy Patinkin. I'll always have that.

Oh my God, my head hurts. Let's talk about your podcast because I've listened to this. It's a big treat. At first I was like, oh, okay, we have a celebrity podcast. It's probably an interview show. I looked at the guest lineup. You have great guests like Nicole Byer, Bobby Moynihan, Colton Dunn, a lot of people who have been on this show.

And I was like, oh, is this an interview show? But it's actually a little bit different. It is a little bit of an interview show. I came up with this thing for my class, which I'm not claiming it's genius, but for me, it helps to make things make sense. Just, just in life. Improvisation is a conversation. And sometimes I would have to say that to myself when I'm even talking with people

in real life, because of the way that sometimes my mind works when people are talking and you're having this long conversation and I've already gone to the end of the conversation and like, I'm done with this. I go, no, no, no, no, no, no, you can't be finished with it. Actually listen to the rest of the conversation so you can be involved in it. So I go, okay, I'm making up conversation. I have to follow the same rules that I follow on stage with this person in real life, and then that will help me in relationships and blah, blah, blah.

So we thought, okay, let's have conversations with people. And out of that conversation, just like we're doing, stuff will come. So as long as, and I have people that I'm fans of, so I get a chance to go, oh, hey, I know this about you and I know that about you. So what about blah, blah, blah, blah. And then we get into the, well, I know that you went to Chicago for such and such and you were blah, blah, blah. What if you didn't? What else would you have done? Well, maybe I would have been a blah, blah. Great. And then immediately, Jonathan and I cut to that scene or how this thing would have happened or how would your life have changed. Or maybe it's just a weird thing that happened to them this morning. So we take the conversation piece of a talk show and we blow it out into the

performance piece. So fans of this show, I think would be very interested in this because it's, you're doing improv scenes based on suggestions, essentially, the suggestion being a conversation that you're having with a guest. And then the guest participates, do they always participate or?

A lot of time they do because- Because Colton and Nicole and Bobby, they obviously have done improv for a long time. Colton, we had one of the most, one of my best times that I've had on the podcast so far was Colton's song that just came out of nowhere. Because we're talking about his name. our piano started playing and we did this thug rap song about Colton and he's like, Colton from the streets, just name it because I'm a bad mother hugger. I be hugging, I'm a hugging motherfucker because I'm hugging and we just kept, and that's what it is. That's what, and like, just like we're doing, the sense of play that comes out of this conversation

that all of a sudden it's a song. It's just so silly, but it's playful and it's fun. But then you get to hear people operating at the top of their abilities. That's the fun for me. I just love seeing people do their thing. It's a very fun podcast because, you know, it starts as just kind of background information or I listen to the Bobby Moynihan one, you're talking about the SNL 50th, and then it just segues, your piano starts playing, and then it segues into scenes based on everything

you've been talking about. It's really a lot of fun. Oh, thanks. Laughing my little butt off. Oh, thank you. I have no butt anymore. Thanks to you. been talking about. It's really a lot of fun. I was laughing my little butt off. Oh, thank you. I have no butt anymore. Oh, well, you're welcome. Yep. Butts get you in trouble. So it's just best to not have it. Wouldn't it be great not if, if human beings just didn't have butts. We're working on that. Yeah. Oh, good. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. You have a grant, some sort of fellowship. I just got a grant and myself and the other scientists. That's what

you're really doing USC. That's my passion. That's my passion. To eradicate butts. Because if we get rid of the butts, then A, we wouldn't have to, do you know how much time we waste using the bathroom from the back? I know, that's the thing.

I think we need to have all of our excrement through the front, maybe, what would you suggest? The mouth or the- Well, I'm just keeping it to one hole. That if we're able to eliminate the butt in that area and we just peed, and we just peed. We pee out of it and it's fine, isn't it? We should be able to squirt some poop out of there.

Thank you. I've been saying this for years, but other scientists laughed at me. I won't laugh at you. Thank you. I'll laugh near you. Okay, see. I won't laugh at you. Thank you. I'll laugh near you. Okay, see. Next to you.

Thank you. Around you. And I love that. With you. And that's the best. That's the best. So, look out 2027, no buts. I guarantee you my nanotechnology will be approved at that point.

You mentioned theme park, working in theme parks. You had a very fun role in theme parks back before you moved to Los Angeles. Even when I was here in Los Angeles. You did it here at... So many theme parks I've done. Yeah, and you were a mischievous character known as Beetlejuice. No, I wasn't Beetlejuice.

You weren't Beetlejuice? No, no, no, you were in the Beetlejuice show. I was in the Beetlejuice, this, I wasn't Beetlejuice. You weren't Beetlejuice? Oh, no, no, no. You were in the Beetlejuice show. I was in the Beetlejuice. This is for you old school theme park fans. I was in the Beetlejuice Rock and Roll Graveyard Review here at Universal Studios Los Angeles, and also in Orlando. I played in the Orlando cast.

I was Dracula. And in the LA cast, I was Dracula and Wolfman. And for those of you that go, Wayne, you're high. Let me explain what the show was. It's actually a great concept. And you know, they're, they're opening up this new park in Orlando right now, Universal is, which I hope they have the show. It's dedicated just to all of the monsters and stuff. It's like, Really? I would have loved that when I was a kid. That dark universe that they were trying to do that didn't make it. With the Russell Crowe as Dr. Hyde.

Didn't work, but it's a theme park and I hear it's amazing. So here is the concept for the show. Beetlejuice pops up from his, well, from wherever Beetlejuice pops up. He's like, you hear the sound effects. He pops on stage, hey, everybody, it's me, Beetlejuice. up, he's like, you hear the sound effects, he pops on stage, hey everybody, it's me, Beeljuice, I'm the ghost with the most goons, we're cool. And he's talking to the audience, he's like,

all right, you know what I got back there? I got the Wolfman, I got the Bride of Frankenstein, I got Dracula, I got from, and he's making all these bad- Puns. Monster puns. He's like, all right, so I'm gonna bring him out. He introduces us and we come out in the classic form of the monsters to the Bela Lugosi,

Phantom of the Opera with the mask and with the organ. Dun, dun. And we all come attacking Beetlejuice. He goes, all right, this ain't cool. We're gonna have to fix this. On the count of three, say it with me. Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice. He knocks us back into this Oh, the count of three. Say it with me. Be the juice. Be the juice. Be the juice He knocks us back into this thing called the transmogrifier. Okay

then when he goes this curtain of Dry ice and lights and the spectacle you hear sound effects when it stops What all of a sudden? Dracula it goes from his gothic cape into this leather wearing rock and roller. S&M. Well, there is one cast that, yeah, but it's more, think... More glam metal?

Glick. Sebastian Bach-ish. Okay, yes. Yes. So there's that. Then the fandom of the opera becomes like a Jerry Lee Lewis type guy with this lounge lizard with this purple suit on and this purple mask. Wolfman is transformed into a B-boy with this bright colorful top with the fur sticking out and jeans and Adidas and then he break dances later.

The Bride of Frankenstein is this like, incredibly hot rock chick with tattered dress and... Like a goth emo look or? Kind of goth, but very much like the... Evanescence perhaps. Ooh, that's a good reference. No, but like a, like 70s or 80s rock with tight. Pat Benatar kind of.

Thank you, yes, yes. And then I'm leaving someone out, but they basically get transformed. So that's what I did. And when I moved out here to Los Angeles, I needed a gig. So when I got out here, I was working at Universal Studios doing that show.

I was swinging both parts, five shows a day, but here is the thing, doing that show, especially at that time, 90 something, it was an Equity show at the theme park. So I made great money doing that show. Equity is the actor's union, by the way, for those of you who don't know. Great show, great pay, and it was one of the best theme park shows because you really were

singing and dancing your ass off and a lot of my cast members are all on Broadway now because that was the gig that you would do if you were a singer dancer. Doing the same show on Broadway? Wouldn't that be great? Beetlejuice Rock. And is that Patti LuPone is the bride of Frankenstein? Is that the hot 80s Pat Benatar. Mandy Patankin as Frankenstein, the green clad rocker who plays the guitar? Is that him?

I love you still know so much about that. I mean, how many performances of it did you do? Probably thousands? I did a few years worth. Tens of thousands. And I loved it. I loved doing that show. Because I was on stage.

Because I was on stage. Yeah. Because I was on stage. Not everyone, if you're out here trying to make it, which is what I try to tell these young actors, especially some that I talk to now, you know, they end up seeing the end result. They love, well, I'm gonna be on TV. Or I'm gonna be on...

It's like, look, man, good for you if that happens and your TikTok video gets you a deal, which is very possible because that's how folks are hired now. But I think I can speak to we came up in the in the day when I myself and my group, the Houseful of Honkeys, when we moved from Orlando out here, we would do shows, sometimes there were seven of us in the group, where there would be just as many people in the audience and you do it and you love it because you're actually being funny and you're in front of a crowd. And it's actually more fun than being in TV a lot of times, is doing those shows.

Yeah. That's the stuff that like you have the dream of, oh, I'm going to make it and do movies and stuff. And then you get to do movies and they're kind of a pain in the ass. And you have to be there all day and it's stop and starts, but like doing the actual shows to get the TV stuff, the most fun stuff. Absolutely. And it pays. Now, don't get me wrong. I absolutely love TV and film. It's great. But that goes back to what in the beginning when I was saying that high school theater and being being on Broadway that There's no difference in terms of it's the scale and scope, but I had so much fun doing those seven per person shows

I had fun doing Beetlejuice when nobody knows you knows your name and you get to dress up and be silly It's all play everything that we do right now. It's all play. Everything that we do right now, it's all play. And you should do that. That's why I wanted to do the What If podcast. Because I actually get to play and say silly shit and have fun. It's super fun. How, is it open-ended? Are you doing this just till whenever?

Or is it a season or what are your plans with it? I just wanna do it. Yeah. So I believe plans with it? I just want to do it. Yeah. So I believe it's open ended just in the sense of we just want to do it until A, it's I want it to be successful, but I just want to have fun. So I'm going to do it as long as it's fun.

Love it. I love the people who get into podcasting because they want to have fun because that's the only reason I think to do it. Like the people who get into it have like, Oh, my agent said that it's a big opportunity now. Yeah. Maybe the smart list guys. And that's about it. Right. It's one of those things. Yes. Maybe you can blow it up into something else, but you should never get into anything.

That's not the end result. Do stuff for fun and then maybe something will come out of it. Every time in my experience, every time that I've done something because I've been told, hey, you know, this is great for your career. You do this thing, blah, blah, blah. Okay. It is the most miserable thing I've ever done in my life. And I want to yank my own head off and go bowling with it. So I'm trying to not do that anymore. Yes, exactly. I love that.

Well, Wayne Brady, the podcast is What If. With Jonathan Menken, I have to say that it's called Wayne Brady's What If with Jonathan Menken. You've known him for 30 somewhat years, right? Yeah, we first started doing improv together in Orlando. Shout out to SAC Theater. I didn't know it was all the way back from Orlando too. Wow. Yeah, SAC Theater, when,

and the seven of us had started that theater, which is still in Orlando right now. It's still thriving. Yeah. We came out here and we became the House Full of Honkeys and Jonathan and I have worked together since we were 19 and 20. He's your cohost on Let's Make a Deal, a really funny guy. It's a great podcast. Go check it out.

We're going to take a break and then we're going to come back. We have a great show, a Peloton instructor. I can't wait. I mean, this is a huge lineup. She's so tall. A Peloton instructor and then America's favorite rabbit. Okay. Yeah. Okay. I know that I, okay, yeah, okay. I know, this is gonna be hard for you. Yeah. You pulled out your GAT and you're polishing it right now.

And I'm cleaning it right now. All right, Bessie, all right, Bessie. Oh, you named her. Oh yeah, oh yeah. Guns are always female. I find that cute. Oh, it's so sweet. I might just kiss her.

Oh, that's so, yeah. Be careful with that. You, you did kind of a tongue kiss too, which is just. Don't judge me. No judgment. I just, you got to be careful. All right. We're going to take a break. We're going to be right back with more Wayne Brady, more Comedy

Bang Bang. We'll be right back after this. Comedy Bang Bang. We're back. Wayne Brady is here in the exclusive One Timers Club. This is a huge club to be in. I know. This is pretty cool.

So when I come back though, is the club less exclusive? Well it's worse because if you come back and do more than one episode, the people who've done one episode are your Paul Rudds, your Ben Stillers, Childish Gambino. They all did one and then got way too successful and never came back. But if you come back and do two, then it gets worse and worse. Then suddenly you're like Adam Scott, who's done like 25 of them. That guy, oh, he's definitely carrying a 40. 40 inches.

What? If you know what I'm saying. And I think I do. We all know that he is the rep of having one of the biggest dicks in Hollywood, right? But that's cumbersome. 40 inches? How do you even, I don't even know how you would become aroused. No, famously he showed his real penis in the movie The Overnight.

I don't know if you've ever seen this. No, but now I need to go see it. Just to prove a point. Uh, well, we have a wonderful guest coming up here. We first met her, I believe, when we were on tour. I forget exactly what, uh, what exact city did we see each other in? I don't really remember, but, uh, it's, uh, wonderful to have her back. Please. She's a Peloton instructor. Please welcome Crendel. All right, let's get on those bikes.

Go on, get on those bikes right now, boys. I don't. Get those asses up in the air. Get those heads down. Okay, we brought a bike. All right, get on there. Let's go. Come on, we want that cadence up to 85.

All right, okay. 85 cadence. We've got that resistance. Go ahead and that cadence up to 85. All right. 85 cadence. We've got that resistance. Go ahead and turn that up to 135. Yeah, we're going hard. Resistance 135? That's too much. Is it puffed?

I think 60 is about the highest that I've ever been. Okay, why are you guys here today? I want you to think about that right now. I want you to think about that long and hard. What is your motivation today? Because I am gonna get you absolutely crumped and cramped. Crumped? I'm gonna get you absolutely crumpled and cramped up.

Oh, okay. We're gonna have you busting and bursting. Ooh, okay. That's right, I'm gonna tell you what my motivation is. I'm gonna tell you, I have had some stomach issues all year long. I have been some stomach issues all year long. I have been having diarrhea multiple times a day. We're talking 15, 16 times a day.

How are you walking? Went to the gastroenterologist. Guess what he said? Oh, it's he. Well, uh, you have, uh, he quit his practice after he got my shit delivered to him to do a test on my shit. If you were there in the office, why did it need to be delivered? Did you like pre-sends? I had to go home.

I had to do the shit test at home. He said, if I didn't bring it in, I'd have to put it in my fridge. And I thought absolutely not. I'm bringing that in today. Brought it in, I'd have to put it in my fridge. And I thought absolutely not. I'm bringing that in today. Brought it in, he quit practicing medicine after he looked at my shit. I'm trying not to take it personally. Let's cool it off, let's cool it off.

Okay. All right, you can turn that music off. How my boy's doing, how you guys doing? I'm a little winded to be honest. I don't think I've ever been winded doing this show. Oh God, you guys looked so good out there on those bikes. Ass is up. Thank you. Okay, let's keep it in our pants here. This is a professional show.

Absolutely. No, that's why I came here. I came here to meet someone. That's why I came to Pellet. Wow. That's why I brought my bike. I'm single and I want to meet someone. That is your motivation today. That's my motivation. Meeting someoneoundland. Really? Wow. That's why I brought my bike. I'm single and I want to meet someone. That is your motivation today. That's my motivation. Meeting someone.

I love that for you. Crendel, are you available? I am available, but I should let you know off the top, I am a boy mom. I am absolutely obsessed with my son and there is nothing that is going to break that bond. I love sons. You do? I love being father to many people. I love to hear that.

I am absolutely ass up about that. Wow. We need to crump and cram some more today. Don't we? Yes. Let's crump it. I guess so. Yeah.

Yeah. How are we going to do that? Well, we're probably going to do another round on those bikes. Scott. Oh my God. Scott, where? I do have a bike in the corner. Let me get mine.

Get your bike. Get your ass over here. Okay. Yeah. Finally. You know I love to see it, Scott. I have not seen you online in so long. Where have you been?

I'm sorry. I have a busy schedule now. I'm doing podcasts at 9 a.m. now. I know. I heard I reached out to your assistant. I didn't expect that. You did. She said you were recording your first episode at 4 a.m.

Yeah. Then you had another one at about 5. I'm the Jeffrey Katzenberg in terms of breakfasts to pod, me doing podcasts. Does that make sense to anyone who has never worked with Jeffrey Katzenberg before? Industry. Absolutely not. He has many breakfasts every morning. And Wayne, where have you been? You had a bike over the pandemic and then the bike went away and I have not seen you

since. I'm so sorry. I just lost interest, but now I'm back in it. I'm ready to get crumped, cramped, clumped and kinked. Yeah, that is right. You wanna be one of the clumps, I think you were telling me during the break. Yes, that's my aim is to take that to Broadway and I wanna be the clumps on Broadway.

We are going to clump you all up. Let's go ahead and get on those bikes again. Okay. Let's get rid of this seat real quick All right. I'm ready. Okay, that's right. Okay. You feel that? Oh clumps the seat. Yeah, do you feel that? Yes I mean, we're not going we're just sitting down. You should feel that in your ass. You feel that seat? Mm-hmm Yeah, do you feel those handlebars? Yes, I do. I'm touching them. Is that what you mean? Do they feel hot? Do you feel those handlebars? Yes. I do, I'm touching them. Is that what you mean? Do they feel hot?

I mean warm maybe? They should feel scalding hot. Scalding hot. Or you are doing something wrong. I think I'm doing something wrong because mine are lukewarm at best. I'm sweating. I'm sweating so hard right now.

Good, I love to hear that from you. Yeah. God, Wayne, you are a good time. Thank you. You and I, I can see it working out, but I should let you know, I am in a very serious relationship with my son Braxton. Oh.

We are absolutely head over heels for each other. Wow. So it is very hard for me to think about having another man at home. Is that okay? Well, I'll get in where I fit in. And that's just not a t-shirt. It's a way of life. That's right. This is our new slogan. I'll get in where I fit in. He's only 24 months old, but you know what he said to me the other day? He said, mom, you miss 100 of the shots you don't take. That is an inspirational kid.

That's very advanced for a two-year-old. Why do you say 24 months instead of just two? He is 24 months and 23 days. That's right. And you know what he said to me the other day when I got out of bed? He said, Mom, where have you been? Because the sun doesn't rise unless you rise with it come on now. Let's go ride Ashes up faces down

Okay face down as a beat up by your hand Hi beat by my hand we are writing we are writing your cadence is about 235 your resistance go ahead turn that up to 450 This is not ergonomic is that about $2.35 your resistance, go ahead and turn that up to $4.50. That's too much. This is not ergonomically sound. Are you feeling that burn? Are you feeling that burn? It's almost impossible.

Scott, I want you to yell out to me your motivation today. What is your motivation? I want to do a podcast so I can complete my contract. What? Yeah, I'm not doing it for the fun or the love like we talked about in the first segment. What are you talking, you want it for the money, Scott? Is that what you're doing?

I'm just trying to kind of get to the 20th year. Scott, look at me, podcasters need to be hot now. Did you know that? I know, I know. Most podcasts are on TV. Why are you not on TV, Scott? The call me daddy of it all ruined everything for us. You need to get cameras in here.

We need to get you camera ready. Get those ass up by those hands. All right, all my asses are up by my hands. Wayne, what is your motivation? To be the one. To be the one. The one what? I just want to be the one who lives.

I love that for you. Like the last man on earth? I want to be the one who lives. I love that for you. Like the last man on earth? I want to be the last person standing. I want to be so healthy that I outlast everyone. I just want everyone gone. I want to be the one here all by myself. I want all extraneous noise gone. I want to be on a bike with my hands by my feet

and my ass up touching the back of my neck. When I sneeze, I want to rest the back of my head and the cleft of my cheeks. I love this for you. Thank you. You want to be like that billionaire who's going to live to 150, don't you? But I want to biohack.

I want to biohack. We are going to biohack your ass off today. And I'm going to tell you what my motivation is. Can I tell you that right now? Yeah, yeah, please. My motivation is my fucking son. Braxton. I love my son Braxton, but you know. My motivation is my fucking son. Braxton.

I love my son Braxton, but you know what else it is? What? My health. Alright? I went to a gynecologist appointment the other day for a yeast infection I've had for 26 years. Wow. You know what she said to me?

What? When I was in there? She said, I can't do this anymore. I'm moving to another country. Let's go ahead and ride! Get those asses up, faces down! Okay. Scott, are you sweating?

Yeah, one tiny bead of sweat has appeared on my forehead. What is going on with you? I'd love to see it. Go ahead and have some of this... I think I'm severely dehydrated. Don't you dare touch that water. Have some of this protein. Oh, God, this is chunky.

It's dry powder. Go ahead and shove it on down. No! All right! And slow it down. We are cooling off. We are cooling off. How my boy's doing?

How are my boys? I feel much better since I got off my bike and I'm sharing Scott's bike with him. Yeah, we're doing it tandem. I love seeing you guys both on those bikes. Yeah, one pedal a piece. When Scott got on your shoulders, Wayne, I knew my boys were doing it. It felt good.

Yeah, we put a trench coat around us to try to buy alcohol. You guys looked like you could. And then we tried to get into a movie. Yeah. Yeah. You looked like a full on adult. Thank you.

Thank you. So nice. I'm gonna let you know something super intimate right now. What's that? Krendel. Thank you. That's so nice. I'm going to let you know something super intimate right now. What's that? What's that, Kendall? Crendel? All of my students in that Peloton room are my boys, my sons.

Oh, wow. I am your boy mom right now. Do you feel that? Yes. Do you feel that? I do. That is me mothering you. I am mother.

Say it. You are mother. You are mother. You are mother. That is me mothering you. I am mother. Say it. You are mother. You are mother. That is damn right. Go ahead and pack one of those proteins into your ass. Oh, okay. Mother, why are you taking your breast out? I don't want a breastfeed tonight. No, we are going to have some of this milk and you better shut the fuck up about it. Slurp it on down. That's right. It's better than water, isn't it? We're sharing the breast like we shared my bike. That's right, my little son. This isn't what I was expecting today, but it's better than what I thought it would be. It's

making me so happy. You know what Braxton said to me after I took him out of his bath this morning? He's 24 months and 24 days and 30 seconds old. Wow. You know what I said to him? I said, how did you get so special? And you know what he said to me? What's that? Mom, God made me this way. And without God, I wouldn't be here. Wow. Okay, he's veering into the religious at this point. It's very religious, very literal, very pointed.

Very devout. Very devout. How are you guys doing? How are your asses? They're up. I mean, they're up. It's about as up as high as I can go. And I've never had quite as much protein in my ass as I've had right now.

You should be getting 598 grams of protein every meal. Do you know how many meals you should be having? How many? 35 meals. Do you know what time I wake up in the morning? I have no idea. 2 AM. Do you know how long my day is? How long? 30 seconds. I go right back to bed.

That's a biohack. Yeah. That is a biohack. What do you do in that 30 seconds? I brush my teeth, but you know what? What? I don't use any toothpaste. Okay. Because toothpaste has chemicals and't use any toothpaste. Okay.

Because toothpaste has chemicals and that is not okay. Okay. Fluoride is bad. Okay. Get those asses up. Let's get another ride on these bikes. Wait. Oh. Okay. Come on. Grab on. Okay. Hold on to my back. Okay. Ready? Go. My boys, I want you to talk to me right now. Okay. Tell me the most motivational quote you've ever heard in your life, and guess what? It better involve God. God said, what was it? Aim high, drink brown?

Yep, aim high, burn bright, drink brown. That's what I love to hear, Wayne. Go ahead and hit me with a quote of your life. God said, is that all you got? And I said, yes. That's right. That's all you've got. God will never let you step down.

No. God is the ultimate boy mom. And I am the world's first boy mom to ever be a Peloton instructor. Get your ass up into the air. Get your stomach up by your ass. Get those cheekbones in your face, near your cheekbones, in your ass, okay?

Did you feel that? Did you feel that? I'm gonna tell you what motivates me. You're tasting so much protein. I'm gonna tell you what motivates me right now. Get your tongue out of my protein, please. Sorry. Sorry.

Sorry. I was really going through it recently when I was realizing that my son was gonna have to marry a woman one day. That was really hard for me to realize. And I really went through it mentally. So what did I do besides working out, I went to a psychiatrist. Oh, that's right.

I talked through my feelings a bit. Yeah, it's mentionable, it's manageable. We went. I visited them for about, I don't know, five, six sessions until I found out via letter that they killed themselves. Go ahead and get those resistance up to $589! Better! Oh my God. Get your cadence up too! That's considerate. killed themselves. Go ahead and get those resistance up to 589! Better! Oh my god! Get your cadence up to... That's considerate. Let's tone it down on the cadence actually.

Let's go nice and slow here. Let's hit it with a 4. Do you feel that? I'm barely moving. Do you feel that, Scott? I guess not really. A 4 is very, very low. I'm sorry, I'm getting a text from my son Braxton, but he's only right. He's only what? Two years. He says, Mom, you need to remember something every day that we spend together is a lifetime for some people. And hours in a day are actually moments and moments do not compare to the life that someone could have within

the span of time. Time is but a moment. Remember that. Go ahead and get those asses up! Okay, here we go. I want you guys to look into each other's eyes. Okay, let me turn around. Hey, how you doing? How do you guys, what are you gonna do for each other today? What are you going to do that's going to change that person's lives? Tell me. Well, Wayne, I'd love to keep in touch and close contact,

maybe text each other six times a day. You need more. With inspirational quotes? I'm going to move in with you. Oh, OK. Wow, I'd love to see that. We have space in the attic, I think. Yeah, I'm done. In fact, I'm going to sell with you. Oh, okay. Yeah, I love space in the attic. I think yeah, I'm done And in in fact, I'm gonna sell everything that I own and I'm moving in with you this afternoon. I think it's right

Everything even your extensive collection of troll dolls all of it Wow When I'm in I'm in I love it. How do you boys feel? How are my boys? Rejuvenated actually all this protein might be going to my ass, but I just feel really intense right now. That's right. I bet you do. Oh, I feel sated. I'm very, very full. I don't know what that means, sated. Oh, I'm not hungry spiritually or physically. You don't do the New York Times crossword, do you? It comes up a lot. I only do the mini.

How long do you take on it? I lot. I only do the mini. How long do you take on it? Take about 45 minutes on the mini. But my son does the New York Times Sunday. And you know how long it takes him? How long? Five seconds. Whoa. Wow.

Now in, in real time, or are we talking in a relativistic? Relativistic. Oh wow. Time is but a series of moments. What time do you get up in the morning, Wayne? I get up around six. That is not early enough. I know. You should be getting up. Oh, wow. Time is but a series of moments. What time do you get up in the morning, Wayne? I get up around six. That is not early enough. I know.

You should be getting up. Sorry, mother. That's right. Say it again. Sorry, mother. That's right. Say it again. Sorry, mother.

That's right. Say, I am mothering. I am mothering. Say, mama. Mama. Mama. Mama. Say, wham, wham, mama.

Wham, wham, mama. Wham, wham, mama. That's right, wham, wham. Baby shit his pants. Say baby need a change. Baby need a change. Baby need a, baby made a stinky. Baby made a stinky. I too did.

That's what I like to hear, Scott. You are my son. You are my son. Thank you, mommy. Some people pay a lot of money for this and we get to do it right now for free. Yeah, wow. I want to let you know how many sons I have out there. How many?

1.5 million sons. What? Tuning in every single day. Only one girl. You know who that is? Who? My daughter. Oh, you haven't-

You've never mentioned her. You've never talked about her. Her name is Paisley Ann. She's fine. But my son, let's go ahead and hit it okay my son motivates me every single day how old is paisley and paisley and i don't she's a i mean she's five she's fine okay she's you don't seem to care as much about her she's okay she's like you know she's smart and she's nice and fun. There's a definite lack of enthusiasm.

I love her. No, she's my daughter, and I love her, I guess. But you know. Yeah, I get it. She is not like my son, Braxton. OK. Go ahead. I want you to know.

Do you guys want to have a son someday? I want to hear it from you. Wayne, do you have a son? Yes, I have a son. What is your son's biggest motivation? Mommy's boobies. That's right. Scott, do you want to have a son yes I have a son what is your son's biggest motivation mommy's boobies that's right Scott you want to have a son someday no what what did you just say I I have I have the only child I'm gonna have and that's a daughter I I'm sorry I I'm sorry, mommy. Scott. Yes. The world is made up of boys.

I, I realize. Who become men. Who become boys again. It's about 48% of the population, I think. It's true. Our boys, yeah. Yeah. Okay. So what are you going to do? I guess I'm going to... Get your sperm checked.

That's already happened in order to get the first one. Get it checked again. I'm gonna do sperm on you guys. I'm gonna get a sperm check going on you. Right? Go ahead and hit the music. I'm gonna get my cast of Peloton instructors in. Here, go ahead and get their sperm out of them right now. We are gonna do a sperm check on both of you. Is there a private room that we can go to? No, there is no room. Just put it in the cup. Yeah, that's right. Just put it in the cup. Go ahead and get that sperm.

Put it in the cup. This is my sperm checker, Dawson. Dawson, how we doing? Hi, Mommy. Yeah, Mommy. Hi, Dawson. I feel weird masturbating in front of all of you. No, go ahead.

This is what we do here at Peloton. I don't need to masturbate here. I carry this around. Oh, thank you so much for that. That was in your wallet. Huge jar, this big jar that came out of your wallet. Thank you so much. Dawson, go ahead and get this in the lap.

It's the biggest one I've ever seen. I'll give it right away. I love, this is my son Dawson. Have you met him, Scott? I do, we just met. Go to town on him, go to town on him, Dawson. Have you met him Scott? I do he's gonna go ahead and get you go to town on him go to town on you're gonna extract it Oh, okay. Oh god. I'm gonna do it even if you say no You see how effective he is I'm Dawson you don't need the tweezers Dawson. Oh, yeah I can't find it. I'm gonna is it cool that I'm videoing this whole thing?

That's great. Go ahead and put that online and tag us at Peloton. We're gonna be putting that on the TikTok. Aren't we Dawson? I'm Dawson. Hi Dawson. Dawson runs our social media, but he also extracts our sperm and also does the test. Don't you Dawson? You want me to tag you? Hey Twitch, it's your boy Wayne. I'm on Twitch. Oh God.

I'm streaming this live. Can you believe this shit? Look at this I don't think I can perform under these conditions Dawson how much sperm do we have out of out of our friend Scott here? Scott's getting dusty I might be dry. I don't know. No, we need to get you need to pump him full of something else I'm gonna go double time Dawson double time Oh god no He's going Dawson Caden's at 150 That's right Caden's at 150 You need to pump him full of something else, don't you? I'm gonna go double time, Dawson, double time. Oh, god, no. He's going, Dawson, Dawson, Dawson, double time.

Cadence is at 150. That's right, Cadence is at 150. We're gonna turn that up. Go ahead, Dawson, turn that up to 492. Oh, zero. Look at this. Look at this, guys. Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Resistance at zero. Wow, looks like we got one sperm. Okay, is that enough, Mommy? Uh, that'll do, right Dawson?

We can work some magic on this family. All it takes is one, from what I heard. Dawson thinks one's enough. Thanks Dawson. Thank you Dawson. Alright, goodbye! Bye Dawson! Can I text you Dawson?

I'm gone! Wow, how do you feel? You must feel so good and relieved. I mean, I definitely feel like I could use a cigarette. Do you have anything on you? That was quite an experience to watch. Yes. I feel like I witnessed something that I've never seen before.

Yes. This is what we do at Peloton. Had both of you continued your training, but you guys stopped midway through the pandemic and you never came back. Well, when I'm coming back now, I'm definitely on board. All it takes is one class to get you back on board. What happened here today, I am on board. We love to see that out of you, Scott.

I cannot wait for you guys to have the boys. I can't wait for you to be boy, boy dads. Boy mom dads? Boy mom dads. Okay. Boy dad, boy dads. Boy mom dads? Boy mom dads. Okay. Boy dad, boy dad moms. Mommy. Mommy, mommy.

Mommy. This is incredible. Thank you so much, Crandall. You're welcome. I always appreciate. It's an honor to be here. Dawson, you okay? Sperm's good.

How'd you test it? I just checked. How did you check? Do you mind me asking? With my, you know how ow, you saw me. All right, all right, look, we have to take a break. Understood, Scott. Let's go ahead and get those asses up as we take our break.

All right, we're gonna take a break. How about that, put that protein in those asses and in those front pockets, meet me in your dick. Okay, we're gonna take a break. When we come back, we're gonna have more Wayne Brady, more Crendel, and America's America's favorite rabbit this is incredible show we're gonna come right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this Let's do this!

I'm Dawson! So much protein in me so much protein in me so much protein in me in my dick in my dick Comedy Bang Bang we are back. We have Wayne Brady. The podcast is What If with Jonathan Mangum. Yeah. Am I pronouncing that correctly? Mangum? Mangum, yeah.

Because it looks like Magnum, which of course is... It does. Both a gun and a condom. Right. And he is neither one of those. He's not a condom. We should make that very clear for our listeners. And it's so weird. How many times I have to clarify that when we do the podcast. Yeah. I have to let people know.

I know you came in here expecting to hear a podcast, co-hosted at least by a condom. Right. But he is a man. Yep. He's a human. He's a human who, by the way, has never used condoms, which never so many children Yep, so many children so many diseases Yes, a child for every disease. Does he not that he brags about that? Yeah, and he and he names them According to the disease the disease that he thinks it's cute. Yeah, so his daughter chlamydia, by the way is gorgeous Yeah, little Gus gonorrhea

Because he tries to make it sound cutesy to take away the stigma. Sure. Yeah, but he's a really good guy when he isn't passing on. He's a great guy. Love sex. He loves sex so much, which is kind of our bond. Yeah. Yeah, you bought it because you love sex, he loves sex. Not necessarily with each other, but, you know. Not necessarily.

With over 30 years of friendship You're bound to it's gotta happen once. Yeah, exactly. It's gotta happen once I can't tell I can't tell you when it did but it did was it yesterday. Oh, you got me Definitely happened yesterday. We also have Crendall here the peloton Just made you these big steak Smoothies for you to get some packed protein packed smoothies straight into those asses. Speaking of drinking brown, this steak smoothie.

Wow. This is so good. Thanks, mommy. Absolutely. How are we doing? I see you're stretching each other. This is so good to see. Yeah.

We've been stretching each other out during the entire break. That's what I love to see. I love to see how loose you're getting. Yeah. We're so limber now that I feel- Do you feel crunched and crammed and crackled up? I feel clumped, definitely. Clumped. I'm in a split right now

and I haven't been able to do a full split since I was six. You've done quarter splits and third splits. Half splits, jazz splits, but not a full split. That's right. Mama Kendall absolutely rammed you up, didn't she? Your name's Krendel, by the way. That's what I said, didn't I?

No. It's all the protein. Mama Krendel really rammed you up, didn't she? She absolutely raw dogged you both. You are so aggressive, and I love that. I love that, and I love seeing my boys learn and grow and just become closer. Thank you so much.

I feel so close to you. I feel close to you, mommy, but we do have to get to our next guest. Okay, that's fine so long as it's another boy. I believe it. Well, I think a male. Well, what does he identify as? I don't wanna just label someone.

That's a good question. I haven't, you know, I was a big fan of this person, or not person, I beg your pardon, you are America's favorite rabbit. I feel like I'm both misgendering you and misspecies-ing you. But I believe that a rabbit can be a person of that species. Oh, that's a good way to put it. So the person of rabbits is a rabbit.

Let's introduce him or her or them. This is America's favorite rabbit. Please welcome Bugs Bunny. What's up, scat? How are we doing today? Doing great. Wow. Are you him? Unless I'm fresh as your lady, then she her. Okay. It's such a pleasure to meet you. A real treat to be here, Shka. Welcome to the One-Timer's Club. And let's hope that I stay there. Yep. This is Wayne. Ouch. Hey, real pleasure to meet you.

Nice to meet you too. Crandall. Crandall. Hi, would you like one of these steaks to chew on instead of that nasty carrot? I'm gonna stick with my carrot, sweetheart. It's such a pleasure to meet you. We all, of course, know you from the Looney Tunes universe.

Yeah, I'm a bit of an entertainer. Space Jam. Space Jam, yes, right. Sure. Space Jam 2. I'm a bit, you know, I'm making people laugh. I'm being mischievous. I'm being a bit naughty.

Mm-hmm, yeah. Were you always like that, or is that a character? Ever since I can remember. I've been doing little jokes and jumping out of holes. It did develop over time. I had to find my voice. Yeah, what were you like as a baby, a child? I was burrowing with all my other siblings.

Sure, how many siblings do you have? Seventeen. Did you say seventeen or seventy-nine? Seventeen. Seventeen. Seventeen. Seventeen. I think it's open for interpretation? Seventeen? Seventeen? Seventeen? Seventeen? I think it's open for interpretation.

Seventeen. Seventeen. It's 17. Can I get deep for a second, Scott? Yeah, please. Because something that I've always, the reason that rabbits, I have a problem with rabbits and I'm really trying to get over that right now because I don't want to be disrespectful to you, Bugs, is I read Watership Down.

Yeah, all right. And rabbits are violent. And so I just want to know... It's a cold, cold world out here, Wayne. It's a cold... Have you ever participated in the killing of other rabbits, like the rabbits in Watership Down? Well, I'm not familiar with the text material,

Watership Down. It's about a whole bunch of rabbits that fucked each other up. They just fight with each other. Yeah, would you like to read the Cliffs Notes? I have it right here. Yeah, if you could give it to me real quick. There you go.

And done, ding ding. You are so fast. You're a fast reader. You're a speed reader. Yeah, I get, you know, if you just look at the words in the middle, you figure out which on the outside. Ooh, context.

Yes, it's all about context. I've killed a couple rabbits in my younger days. That's what you gotta do to survive in the hutch. Boys will be boys, it's all about context. I've killed a couple rabbits in my younger days. That's what you got to do to survive in the hutch. Boys will be boys, as I like to say. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I wish I could turn your opinion on rabbits, though. You're acting like a maroon. That's why you don't like rabbits.

Is that right, Wayne? Because you read Watership Down. Yeah, the book freaked me out. Couldn't help but notice you were unable to answer the question, who's your favorite rabbit? Well, I mean, I don't have a favorite rabbit right now. Yeah, right now. That may change. Right now.

But I'm leaning towards you. You used to be. You're saying that. No, it's not true. You're saying that because I'm in a womb right now. I used to love rabbits. I loved all of your early work. Yes.

Until I took a course in African American studies and I realized how racist a lot of the early Looney Tunes cartoons were. I got nothing to do with that. You participated in it. I got nothing to do with that. So you had a tacit sort of... I was just working in the union. I was doing what I was told.

Every single time that a cigar would explode and you sang Mammy, I was offended. Yeah. I'm sorry about that. So I'd like to formally apologize. Well, yeah. It feels like the only way through. Well, let's hug.

Wow, look at my boys hugging. Thank you. Look at them hold each other. That's real. Oh my God, this feels. I'm gonna tell you something right now. My favorite bunny is the Energizer bunny. The way that he go, go, goes.

You know what that means? What? That means war. Okay, if you like the Energizer bunny, then you're not a friend of mine. Whoa. Wow. I like the Easter bunny. Of course, Easter was yesterday and... That means war.

Sorry, sorry. If I'm not America's favorite rabbit, I'm out. I'm walking. Look at the glint in his eye. Yeah. What are you going to do to us? You're not going to make us. I'll shoot you with a really big gun.

Well, look at that big gun. I've done the size of three men. It's so long. That's huge. Wayne, your dad can't compare to this. No, I've put Bessie away. She has no business in this room right now. The head of the musket, the bell's bigger

than a shoosaphone. So which season is it? Right now? It's funny season. Okay, it's funny season. Which is actually why I'm here, Scott, I need your help. I feel, by the way, you're changing your R's to W's like Elmer Fudd did and Bugs did not.

No, I just didn't take my Zyrtec today, that's all. Okay. If I sound a little weird, it's I just didn't take my Zyrtec today, that's all. Oh, okay. If I sound a little weird, it's because I didn't take my Zyrtec. Oh, okay, you gotta take your Zyrtec. I know this is an early morning podcast. I forgot it, forgot about it. Hey, bada-bing.

Bada-boom. But I need your help, Scott, it's really serious. What's going on, Bugs? Is it confusing your name as Bugs and you're a rabbit? Not for me. Oh, okay. You know, I'm just so used to it. Maybe for other people? Is it confusing your name is Bugs and you're a rabbit? Not for me. Oh, okay. You know, I'm just so used to it. Maybe for other people, was it confusing for you?

I thought I was introducing a bunch of bugs and then it turned out to be you. Thank God I look like a rabbit. Yep, that's true. You're not a bunch of bugs that have assembled and formed themselves into a shape of a- No, no, no, this is not a nightmare before Christmas villain situation.

I don't have a zipper that you can unzip and then I'm just a bunch of bugs. Okay. Just wanted to make that clear. All right. What's going on, Bug? I'm in a lot of trouble, you see. I'm currently being taken advantage of by a very powerful, powerful man. And he's threatening my friend, Scott. Oh no. And I said to him, I said to him, you leave my friend Jelone.

He said, that's not good enough for me. And I said, I want to challenge you to a sketch competition. A sketch competition? So I found myself in this competition, Scott, and I, I need some help from you. I need, I need some of the best. Are you talking about drawing or? Yeah. No sketch comedy, sketch comedy. Oh, so like you're writing a sketch. Yes, yes, yes. All my friends are in danger, but if we win the sketch competition, he's going to let them go. Okay. I trafficked in sketch comedy occasionally.

Scott, you can do this. Yeah, I can do this. And Wayne, you're one of the best at comedy. I didn't even know you was going to be here, Wayne. No, but this is great. And if we could help my new friend that I no longer fear, then I'd love to. Sure. And I also write sketches for the Peloton Instagram.

Sure, okay. Well, hey, there's no bad ideas in a room, right? That's right. So who's threatening you? Who's the powerful guy? His name's Mr. Schmack Mallet. No. And he runs an amusement park.

Okay. That's a silly name. It is. It's a. Okay. That's a silly name. It is. It's a sketch jam. It's a sketch jam. Well, what he wants, he wants to try and take all my friends and if we lose, we gotta work in his amusement park forever. Well, you know,

and we gotta do the sketch show that we wrote. Like five times a day, Wayne did this. Five times a day. Yeah, it was great. Six days a week. You get meals? That's what happens at Peloton. We're all stuck there. Oh, really? So, oh, okay. He can't leave, huh what happens at Peloton. We're all stuck there. Oh, really?

So, oh, okay. You can't leave, huh? You're like indentured servants? Yeah, exactly. We work for Mr. Peloton. Really fun. Maybe we can write something about that. I don't know.

Hilarious. Did you give birth there because they wouldn't let you out? Let me tell you something right now. I gave birth on the bike. That is right. I gave birth while I was riding. Cadence at 392. Okay, wait, wait. This is right, I gave birth while I was riding cadence at 392.

Okay, this is Bugs Bugs segment. I have cadence to the left. Push it! What? I could be giving birth right now, this is exactly the position I was in. Push! Three! Woo! Woo! Woo! He was out of me just like that fell on the floor. I cut that umbilical cord with my teeth. Now I'm dressed up as a nurse and I'm delivering the baby. Should we ride towards that hole in the cliff over there? No, don't, don't. Well, you can as long as you don't look down. Here's the thing, though.

All right, we're up against some really, really tough competition, Scott. OK. You see, the thing is, Mr. Schmack Mallet, he possessed a bunch of the best comedy shoals and put them for his team. The shoals? The shoals. Like muscle shoals? the best comedy shoals and put them put them for his team. The shoals? The shoals.

Like muscle shoals? You know, his shoals like what's what makes you tick. Oh, the thing that weighs seven and a- The shing shing shai ja. Oh, your soul. Yeah, your soul. Right. Got it.

Got it. Not the chings on your feet. Chings? Am I allergy? You gotta take your Zyrtec next time you're on the show. That's so irresponsible to come without his Zyrtec. I mean, it's an emergency. My whole, all my friends are at Shteyn.

Let me tell you. The whole world's at Shteyn, Scott. You have to understand the people that we're going against are some of the best in comedy. Which is why I had to go show them the best in comedy. Mr. Schmack Mallet. Yeah. He's got Tom Lennon. No.

He's got Tom. He's got Tom.ennon. No. He's got Tom. He's got Tom. How'd he get Tom Lennon on his side? Tom was on the first episode of this show. He just shucked his eschen. He didn't even ask for consent. He just shucked Tom's eschen. Oh, he shucked it.

He just shucked Tom's eschen. Shucked Tom's shoal out his eschen. Which hole? Shoot him out. Oh, OK. Out the butt, through the mouth. That's the hole. Out the butt and through the mouth. That's how we ride. Out the butt, through the mouth. Out the butt, through the mouth. Out the butt, through the mouth.

Out the butt, through the mouth. That's how we ride. Out the butt, shoot him out. Who else does Mr. Smack Mouth do? The Please Don't Destroy boys. No. No. All three of them?

How are we gonna beat some of the best guys right now? Those are my boys. Those are my sons, those boys. They're so cute. I don't know how we're gonna beat them. Who else? Kenan Thompson. Kenan, not Kenan.

Kenan. So many boys. Keenan Thompson. Keenan! Not Keenan! So many boys! Keenan Thompson. And then they got the piece of the resistance to tie it all together. Who's that? David Cross. David...

My old compadre and Mr. Show. David Cross has crossed the aisle. I'm sorry to tell you, Scott. Pun intended. He's crossed you. Oh, a pun also intended! I made to break the noosh to you, Scott, but even your friend is your foe. Oh no. How are we gonna go? I mean, I have Wayne Brady, that's... and I guess Crendel.

Well, we got all my friends too! We got access to all the Looney Tunes too! Okay, so who do we got? Daffy? We got Daffy, we got Tweety, we got Mr. Toots. Wait, hold on, back up, back up. Mr. Toots. What? Mr. Toots, I know Mr. Toots. Mr. Toots is part of... You know Mr. Toots. Mr. Wait, we got Tweety Bird. Hold on, back up, back up. Who's the Toots? What? Mr. Toots, I know Mr. Toots. Mr. Toots is part of- You know Mr. Toots?

He's part of Cushtopia. Yeah, that's the world that I'm trying to save. You're trying to save Cushtopia? Absolutely, that's where all the Looney Tunes live. We live in the core of Cushtopia. Sorry, Wayne, do you know what Cushtopia is? No. Crazy.

You don't know Cushtopia? So what's Cushtopia? It's one of the richest's Cushtopia? It's one of the richest worlds, it's one of the richest environments you could ever be a part of! This is why you need a son, to watch Cushtopia where... Cushtopia is an alternate universe, it's made entirely of weed, is that how you say it? Mostly.

Cushtopia! Mostly everything's made of ganja. There's a train, I believe. Yes, there's a train, it goes around, some of some of its metal. Some of its made of nugs. It's an alternate universe. You have to understand 65 million years ago a comet hit Earth. It split Earth into two Ursh. Earth and Ur-2. Ur-2? Custopia. Oh! I can't believe you don't know this. Is it? You know what? I do...

I didn't know that it was Custopia, but I remember as a kid reading my favorite comic book Yeah, which was about this kid an alien crashed to earth he was discovered in a field and it turned out to be Snoop Dogg and He came from this place when you were a kid. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah My favorite comic was about Snoop crashed crashing to earth and he got his powers under this this Yeah, Snoop Dogg's got his hands in everything. So yet So he's from Cushtopia. Yes Come over here from Cushtopia took a portal a guy with that can smoke that much weight. He's probably got Yeah, okay, okay

Cushtopia I you'll have to forgive me bugs, but I'm not a huge fan of Cushtopia So I just there's been several guests on this show over the years bunch of nice guys. I'm a huge fan of Christophe. What do you mean? I just, there's been several guests on this show over the years. Bunch of nice guys, I'm sure. I don't know, who's the motor, the motorcycle? Marty Motorcycle? Marty Motorcycle. The guy who always forgets his motherfucking guns? Exactly, yeah.

He's available, he could do the sketch show. Imagine having a transforming man slash motorcycle available for your sketch show. I just, I don't know that it's something that I'm incredibly interested in. It sounds hilarious. Oh, so you're not interested in saving an entire planet, you're not? I'm looking up on Reddit and one of the comments that comes up is Scott's exasperation about Custopia. Oh, have people picked up on this?

It's so fucking funny. Someone says Scott's exasperation about Cushtopia is so fucking funny. That is hilarious. The fact that they, that it, Scott's default persona, he hates Cushtopia. I knew it, Scott. Listen to that, Scott. Let that fill you up. Do you hate it? Well, here's the problem.

I have guests on this show and ostensibly they're talking about something else and then they slip in references to Custopia, something that I have no personal affinity for. Well, there's people that live there. There's real hodge. Don't you want to shave the Looney Tunes? But we don't know. What don't you know? What don't you know?

Bugs, I think that empathy can stretch only so far. We don't know people in Custopia. Scott does though. He says he knew Mr. Coots.'t know people in Cushtopia. Scott Dodge though. He says he knew Mr. Toots. Motorcycle who? Motorcycle Marty. Mr. Toots.

Who else? The executioner. Cooter the super computer. We could retcon that the Green Ranger I did the, I mean a person did the first episode could be from Cushtopia. Okay. It's a rich world that needs shaving.

Half of my boys on Peloton are in Cushtopia. That doesn't surprise me. Working their asses up. Do you, do you guys want to save Cushtopia? Yes. Do we need to go to Cushtopia? Not at all. We just got to write some sketches, cash the sketches, and then we'll go to do the sketch show.

And if we win, Cushtopia shaved. When is the sketch show that we're supposed to do? Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. You got a crunch. It took me a long time to get over here. We need to cram.

We need to clumps. We need the clumps and we need a writing session right now. That's right. We need to get rams together. I got some ideas. Let's do this. I got some ideas. Let's use the title of Wayne's podcast, What If.

What if. And that's a good way to write sketches because you've got an idea, you say, what if this is true, what if, what if. Yeah, exactly. What else, what if. Who done it. Right, exactly.

Who done it, who did it, how's it going, who done it, who did it, what if, where and when. These are all the improv questions. What they have for dinner. What did it happen? Okay. Anything can happen. Okay, so what if the bride of Frankenstein,

she's, she's hot and Patti LuPone is playing her, right? Right. So what, and what if she goes to Cushtopia? Right. Right. And? And she has a really hot son. Okay. A really super hot son. Yeah. Who is, she's, she's jealous of him. I mean, we're right in on the board. Okay. Look how hot my son is! Yes! He's Shash Legs! He's Shash Legs.

Scott, do you think we should maybe get Jack Alf and Akish? Do you think you could put a call out for Jack? I don't like to bother him too much. Scott, let's go ahead and call Zach right now. Get that phone out and let's dial that number. I guess I could. Maybe Jack's got a couple of pitches or he's got a character he could play or something like that.

Go ahead, let's pitch it to him. Let's see what he says. Let me see if I can find his info here. Just pull him up, Scott, your old friend. Come on, Scott. Go to his Facebook marketplace account that you communicate with him through. All right, let me try to call and see what happens here. See if he picks up Call failed That's how quickly he presses no. Scott let's try another celebrity

Hey that's condolence. Rob Hubel Let's try Rob Hubel. The other guy who's in the first episode of the show? Rob yes. Why not Rob? Scott let's give Rob a call. You want me to call Rob Hubel? Rob he's got he's got the human giant juice behind him. Okay, he's got a pickup He's got he's got it. He's got a pickup for you. I'm sure he's not doing anything this morning. No, it's only 955 he's just getting his dish started. Let's call Rob Hubel Rob, please. He's got to have an original skull failed again Scott Rob, please, he's gotta have an original score. Call failed again. What the? Scott! Scott! You gotta work on your friendship, Scott.

This is how much juice I have in Hollywood. Scott, what is going on with you? People I've known for decades will not pick up the phone for me. And I came here because I said, Scott's got the juice. Here's your 40. Thank you so much.

This tastes good. I am worried about my boy. Mixed with all the protein? I'm worried about my son. He needs to have friends. We need to find you another friend, Scott. Who else can we call Tim Balz? Maybe Let's give Tim Balz Tim Balz from the righteous gemstones. He's not as big of a name, but maybe he will pick up for that reason He's got a lot of funny. I'm smart juice. He's got so much juice so much industry juice. Let's see if Tim Balz will pick up

I just call failed. Oh my god. it's a problem with the phone or something. Maybe a shim catch now. Are you using the correct phone right now? Well, I'm calling through the computer, which I'm not accustomed to doing. You need to be calling on your actual phone. Okay. We need to give him a ring. And Scott, if we could get an original Lisa Gilroy character in this sketch show,

I think it'd be really, really profitable. That would make the fans happy, I'm sure, but... Absolutely. But I hate women. Alright, let's see. I'm just so happy none of the calls are going through. Let's see. Let's see if Tim Balz picks up The suspensions killing me Hello. Hi Tim. Yeah. Yeah, this is Scott Aukerman from comedy bang bang Hi, Tim.

Yeah. Yeah, this is Scott Aukerman from Comedy Bang Bang. Yeah, why are you bothering me? Why am I bothering you? We're friends, aren't we? Yeah, but you've never called me. Well, you're on the air right now. Is that okay? Oh, God. I'm here with Bugs Bunny and Wayne Brady and uh, Crendel who's a Peloton instructor.

How are you doing Tim? I haven't seen you in a bit on that bike. Yeah, what's up Tim? Yeah, uh, we're doing a big sketch competition tomorrow and we could, I know you've done some sketch, haven't you? I know you're an improv guy. Ask him if he can take his wigs out of retirement. Yeah, can you take your wigs out of retirement for us? Yeah, sure. I mean, I'll do whatever it takes.

You know me, I'm a slut. I mean. You are a comedy slut, aren't you? Yeah, 100%. I've been seeing you on that Righteous Gemstones. You're doing pole dancing, and it just seems like you're a slut for comedy and you'll do anything for a laugh.

Of course, I mean I get paid and people laughing at me. This gig does not pay. This doesn't pay, yeah. You get paid in exposure. I guess. Other people are exposing themselves to me. Yeah, is that cool? Can we count on you? Yeah, 100%. I got a ton of wigs. I'll bring them, you know, just Tell him he's shaving a whole world. I'll do what you want.

You're saving the world of Cushtopia. And by the way, you we're only asking you to do it because Zach elephant knackers wouldn't pick up. I should be so lucky. Hopefully most of your roles that will come around is because Zach won't pick up. I bet that would elevate me big time. All right, thanks. We can count on you. I appreciate it, buddy. You got it. Anything you want to say to the Comedy Bang Bang listeners? Yeah, tweet at Scott. Tell him to call me as a friend sometimes.

Nope. All right. Talk to you later. Bye. Schmootches, Tim. Hey, Scott, thanks for extending your shop like that. Wow. I'll do one call to a famous person, and Tim is about the most famous person we can do. I think Tim's going to really tip the tide. Tim's really good. He's having a really good moment right now. He's having a moment. He's really, really funny. And I also saw him on another TV show where he's playing a completely Deli Boys.

Different character on Deli Boys. He killed it. That's right. Yeah. I know someone else who was on Deli Boys and had one scene. Yeah. I think I know who you're talking about, Scott. She had about one to two lines and she served a big platter of cocaine. Is that who we're talking about? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You saw her. Right. In Hollywood, there's no small pods. No, that's right. There's only small people and she is small, Scott. She's so tiny.

Not like you, Crendel. No, I'm- How tall are you? I'm about six, nine, Scott. And that's before I put on my heels, which I wear when I'm on the bike. That's right. Hello, nice. Mommy.

So Bugs, did we- That's right. Did we solve your problem? I know this isn't happening till tomorrow, but- Well, I think we could probably maybe brainstorm some more sketches, right? Uh, okay. I got a couple, I got a couple.

What do you got? Knight Lodish. K-N-I-G-H-T. Like the Dark Knight? Yeah, it's like White Lodish. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Scott. It's not like that at all, Scott. Batman's in the WP universe!

K-N-I-G-T. Ooh. K-N-I-G-H-T. Okay, Knight Lodish. Knight Lodish. And is Knight Lodish a superhero? No, it's like the White Lodish, but it's in a medieval time. K-N-I-G-T. K-N-I-G-H-T. Okay, Night Lotus. Night Lotus. And is Night Lotus a superhero? No, it's like the White Lotus, but it's in a medieval time. Oh, Night Lotus, and it takes place in a castle?

Maybe, yes. This is what the room's for. We're brainstorming. It takes place in a castle. Nice. And then a family arrives for a vacation. You're doing the work. And they're beheaded.

And it's a blackout sketch. What if the whole show's a blackout sketch. What if the whole show's quick blackout sketches? That's it. I love that. What if Merlin's involved and he shows his penis when his bathrobe opens up? Blackout. Boom. Don't even need to explain anything else. White pubic hair. Oh, that's really funny, Scott. Devil's in the details. Merlin and Arthur, they kiss. Yeah. Blackout. Blackout. Okay, I've got one. Yes. They go ahead and make a big ass smoothie together

and they drink the smoothie. Blackout. Great. Blackout, hilarious. I'm putting it on Peloton. Really funny. She's coming to get a real nice. This is good, right?

You're writing this down, right? You're writing this down, right? Oh. Oh, wait, you get it. Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, b Huge typewriter right now. That's gonna take forever. He's literally only writing about one word on each line. Just listen to the podcast later. Let me read it back. Okay.

Bugs, bugs, bugs, bugs, bugs, bugs, bugs, bugs. So many pieces of paper for that. Hey, you gotta keep the ideas flowing. It's true. Yes, and. Yeah. This is good. This is good.

Do you have any other sketch ideas? I got a ton. Okay. What about some parody shongs? Ooh. This is good. This is good. Do you have any other sketch ideas? I got a ton. Okay. What about some parody songs? Ooh. That's, is that, let's talk philosophy for a second. Okay.

Is a parody a sketch? Is a parody song a sketch? Is a parody song a sketch? I mean, Wayne, you do a lot of parody songs. I think a parody song can be, a parody song can just be a song, but a parody song can be a sketch if it's built out. If there's a world visually around the song, then it's a sketch. So there's got to be a lot of visual elements.

Maybe there's just one of those like a digital short. Oh yeah. We shoot it off location and show it on today. You know the police don't destroy boys are going to be doing this. And that's why we got to compete. We need to compete with them. We got to compete with them. We got to let them know you can't just get there.

Oh no, they can't beat us on the song. We got Wayne Brady. We've got him. Okay. What about a parody for the audio slave song, Like a Stone called Like a Stove? Oh, like a stone. It doesn't rhyme necessarily. Like a stone.

And I don't know what's the melody to that song? It's like, In your house I long to be Bitch in the room I'm trying to play the video, but we gotta sit through an ad first. What is this? This is on the Peloton track right here. You don't have an ad block?

Get those asses off. This is some sort of ad for... I've been on a bike. Oh, and you're in the creative space. Yeah, I love this. Ready? I'm ready. This has subtitles. It says crew speaks. Okay. Whoa. All right, Wayne, what would you do on top of this? It's about a stove. Yeah. It's like a stove and like a stove. And like a stove, so it's not actually a stove. It's not actually a stove, but it's akin to a stove. It's actually good you don't know the melody. Yeah.

So these undistinguishable lyrics, what would you change to make it like a stove? First I'd make it English. Right. All the way through trichinosis It might be dubbed because it's just like a stove Yeah, our house is like a stove A source of heat Gives my cause to explode It's like a pre-heat stove Yes, Scott! My cause is to explode You gotta preheat your house Yeah, Scott!

Preheat it Like a stove Like a stove, you gotta Preheat your house And your bedroom, your stove Doom doom digga digga Weeeee This is hard

And then I can do a guitar solo Cause I can't play guitar. You should have led with that. That's more of a zither. Hey, good note. Or a theremin. So I'd work on that. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'll get an actual guitar dish tag. Well, hopefully this is helpful to you. We're going to definitely be there. What time tomorrow? 420. 420 am. 420 am. You usually have Peloton at 420 am, Scott. Making. AM. 420 AM. 420 AM, you usually have Peloton at 420 AM, Scott.

Making a note 420 AM. What are you going to do? Because I've got to get up and dunk my face in ice and water. Those water bottles that are all blue. You need to get your asshole in the sun. You need to get those blue glass water bottles? Yes. Because that's the thing.

You eat a banana and tape it? It's really important. You've got to do that. Put your feet's the thing. You eat a banana and tape it? It's really important. You gotta do that. Put your feet in the grass. Go ahead and touch grass for me. Okay. There you go. I brought my own.

I think there's one Xing Michigan. Christopia. There might be one Xing Michigan in a sketch comedy show. What's that? We don't have a commercial parody. Easy. Don't you feel like that should be an element in our sketch show?

I don't know that we have time because at this point... We could... yeah, you're right. You're right, it's too much. The show's got so much good stuff. We could do a commercial parody. But I do think this lineup, we're going to shave Cushetopia, Scott. Mr. Tooch is going to live another day. I don't care.

Okay. But yet you're still participating. I'm still... out of professional courtesy to you, my current guest, I will participate in this sketch fest, but... Reddit just said in real time, wow, Scott really does hate this. Not a fan, but you know what I am a fan of? What?

All of our guests here, we are running out of time. We just have time for one final feature, and that is of course a little something called Plugs. Ooh. Oh. Oh. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Thanks to Rob. If you have a plugs theme, head over to CBBworld.com slash plugs and you could be famous for a week and Rob, you are famous this week. Enjoy while last. Yes, Rob. What are we plugging Wayne? Obviously the podcast is What If. Yes. The podcast is What If on the Head Gum Network. It's myself and Jonathan Mangum. Do we put up- He's not a condom.

He is not a condom, but he is stretchable and see-through and he fits like a glove. Yes. Man. I hope he's listening. So that's what I'm plugging. And the 17th season of Let's Make a Deal. Yeah, that's incredible. Is it 17 years?

So it's not like Survivor that does two seasons? Right. So it is 17. Maybe it's 16 and a half years, but it's 17 seasons. Um, we, uh, the, the, the latest season of, uh, whose line is it anyway on the CW you can catch it. Um, if you're at USC, go to your, uh, lectures, if you're a student at USC and learn how to kill chickens, learn how to kill chickens with mime.

With mime. Space work. You to kill chickens with mime. With mime. Oh wow. Space work, you could kill people with space work. Incredible. It's amazing. Crandall, what are you plugging here? Go ahead and hit me with the music, Scott. Get those asses up, get on those bikes.

I'm gonna go ahead and plug some of my most favorite podcasts out there over on cbbworld.com. Facebook changed my life,, Randy, going deep. Also check out Deli Boys, that woman who serves that big old platter of cocaine is looking awesome. What are those two lines? Do you remember them?

Just, no, I do not remember at all. If you're a real actor, you would remember your lines. Would I, would I? Months after you. Would I? And I didn't even play the part, Scott, but I loved her performance. Also check out St. Dennis Medical,

that same person who's Instagram I love, at L-I-L-Y, Y-I-L-Y Scott, it's not confusing, it makes perfect sense. Got it, locked in. All right, and, but funny. And my son Braxton. Oh, shout son Braxton. Shout out Braxton. Well of course you can come see the sketch show on 421 and Cush-Topia at Cush-CB.

The Cush-right Shinshigame. Wait, that's not happening. No, there's not a CBB Presents of Cush-Topia. And of course the show will be live taped and promoted and on Comedy Bang Bang World for everybody to listen to. Live sketch, it's audio now. Okay. Change for the opportunity, Scott. I think it's going to have a wonderful home here on Comedy Bang Bang World.

I want to plug speaking at Comedy Bang Bang World. You can go head over there for our entire archive, every episode ad free, every live episode we've ever done, all 900 and whatever episodes of this show, plus the aforementioned shows that we've been talking about, CBB Presents, Scott Hasn't Seen, so many shows over there. And someone wrote to us the other day and said, hey, you've never talked about how cheap it is. I've just not got it, because I figured it was so expensive.

And it's only $8 a month for everything, and only $80 a year. No, I'm going to subscribe. Yeah, please, I'll give you a code. No, I wanna support. All right, yeah, I don't wanna end up drinking those 40s. That's right, I'm here for you, Scott. I'm here for you.

I love to see this support between my boys. I love to support my roommate, you know, my new roommate. That's right, yeah, I gotta clean out the garage for you. Don't even bother. Oh, really? Don't even bother. Okay, sure. I love Phil.

You can just lie across the motorcycle that's in there. Also, the astonishing Spider-Man. I'm still writing Spider-Man for you. Don't even bother. Oh, really? Don't even bother. Okay, sure. I love Phil. You can just lie across the motorcycle that's in there. Also, the astonishing Spider-Man. I'm still writing Spider-Man for Marvel. You can get that on- Wait a minute. What? The comic book, yes. No. I know. We'll even have a- Okay. I love you officially even more. Oh, thank you. I'm a huge comic fan. Oh, wow. And all I ever wanted to do as a kid at first, I just wanted to write. And I got a chance once I wrote a Marvel,

a Spider-Man annual, Jonathan and I wrote a story. You wrote one together? So that's my whole thing is I just wanna write comic and sci-fi, so you're my new hero. Okay, well I have a contact for you over there if you wanna continue writing. You rock. For the listener, Wayne is currently holding Scott

in his arms like a baby. Oh my God. He's thrown open his shirt, he arms like a baby. Oh my god. He's thrown open his shirt. Let me hear. He's wearing a Spider-Man costume underneath. And here's my boobie. Oh gosh. Hello Nash.

Alright, let's close with the old plug bag. Opa. Opa. Opa. Opa. Opa. Pfft. Oh no! Jesus Christ. Why do both, farts are the funniest thing in the world. Farts are so funny. That was 2001, a space opening by Thomas Hand.

Thank you so much. And guys, I wanna thank you so much. Wayne, pleasure to meet you. Pleasure to have you on the show. I loved having you. And Crendel. So good to see you. I want to thank you so much. Wayne, pleasure to meet you. Pleasure to have you on the show. I love to have you. And Crendel. So good to see you. I feel similar about you.

My son. And Bugs, I'll see you tomorrow, 420 AM. Was she in rehearsal? Wait, there's a rehearsal too? Yeah, oh yeah, you got six rehearsals. And for this reason, I'm out. No! I'm so sorry.

We'll see you next time. Thanks, bye. Okay, Dawson, let's go get that cum out of those guys. The cum's good, I'm so sorry. We'll see you next time. Thanks. Bye. OK, Dawson. Let's go get that cum out of those guys. The cum's good on Dawson. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. talking about sex. Ooh, on your product.