Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Zombily, USA (Erinn Hayes, May Darmon, Owen Burke)

Episode Date: June 29, 2026

Erinn Hayes returns to talk about stretching her dramatic legs, as well as her new show “It’s Not Like That.” DJ Dead Poisson drops some dope beats for you party people. And Craig reveals the surprising way that he’s involved in the tech industry!  Don’t forget to check out the Comedy Bang! Bang! Action Figures at shop.figurecollections.com and go to actionfigurecellar.com for international purchases. If you want more great episodes of Comedy Bang! Bang! become a subscriber at comedybangbangworld.com. We have all of the past episodes from the archives, every live show, ad-free new episodes, and original shows like CBB Presents and Scott Hasn’t Seen. Find more great Comedy Bang! Bang! merch at https://www.podswag.com/collections/comedy-bang-bang Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/cbb Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I'm not a comedy bang bang, comedy bang bang, comedy bang, comedy bang, comedy bang, comedy bang. I'm not an actor, but I play one on TV bang bang bang, welcome to comedy bang bang bang. Hmm, interesting. Thank you to MC Peanut and the Jam Gang for that catchphrase submission. I don't think it's going to stick, though, so the hunt continues. But thank you so much to MC Peanut and the Jam Gang. Really appreciate your efforts. And welcome back to Comedy Bang Bang. I guess welcome to Comedy Bang. Look, every episode is someone's first. So if this is your first episode of Comedy Bang Bang, hello and probably goodbye as soon as you're done with it. But it was so glad to have you here. My name is Scott Ackerman. We have a wonderful show. Coming up a little later, we have a DJ. That's exciting. I hope that stands for disc jockey and not something else. We'll find out when they get here.

We also have someone in the tech industry. So this is going to be a good show. But first, before we get to them, let's get to our guest of honor. She is entering the elite five-timers club on Comedy Bang Bang. You are. Am I? You're pointing at yourself in disbelief. Me?

I have blocked it all out. Little old youth. this is your fifth time appearing on the show. Scott, tell me about my life. Let me tell you exactly when your previous appearances were. You appeared. Now, if you can believe this, you appeared twice in 2011, just six months apart. Ah, honestly, I can't.

You're on an episode 108. We're almost at a thousand. Oh, my God, that's insane. You were on episode 108 with Rob Cordray. Ah, sure. An episode called Pussy CPR. Obviously. Obviously.

And then you returned six months later, and we had Cake Boss on that show. And then five years later, you came back, along with Rob Cordry again. He's my buddy. Pimping out that children's hospital, I think. Got to keep pimping all the time. And that was in 2016. Four years later, you come back with Rob Hubell. I would imagine talking about medical police.

I do hope there's a rob here today. That is my comfort zone. I mean, I am going to pick your pockets on the way out. So does that count? I'm not really sure. Sure. Yeah. So that was in 2020.

That was, ooh, boy, 115, 2020. Oh, yikes. The good old day. Right on the precipice. And that was right before you gave everyone COVID, right? I was patient zero of COVID. Yeah. And now you were.

returning six years later to enter the elite five-timers club. And I do have Haanta virus. Is that a problem for you, guys? I don't believe so. I'm looking bored to it. I love new experiences. Listen, I love my house. I've got it exactly where I wanted to be.

And I'd like to spend more time there. Where did you take that cruise to when you got it, by the way? When I got it? Oh, just, I mean, listen, it was a full year's cruise. A full year? Was there a location I didn't hit? No. Do you hear about those people?

and I'll introduce you in a second about those people who are... Sure, right. What's my name? Aaron Hayes is here. Welcome back. Thanks. Have you heard about the people who sell their house and then they just live on a boat for the rest of their lives? I think it's people's retirement plans now, right? Because the health care is better than the United States. And they find it's cheaper to not have property tax and all that kind of stuff. And it's cheaper to just book these luxury cruises and they get to see the world. But then what happens when suddenly COVID hits or the haunt of virus?

and are they reconsidering that? I wonder. I mean, well, I kept thinking about that Hunter virus cruise too. Like the people that are on the cruise, you're like, all right, well, you just signed up for a cruise. But you probably didn't sign up to be in the cruise in your room quarantined, right? Like, then the world gets real small. Now, would it be weird if I signed up to be on the cruise in my room quarantined the entire time? I'm hoping it's an option.

Like, for the real true agoraphobes, they're like, I don't want, like, listen, I've paid extra for this. Just like almost a prison experience. Oh, yeah, I would love that. You ever go to prison, by the way? I've never asked you that. Oh, I do visit once a week. Oh, okay. But I just get to, I have one cell.

Just to see Papa? I'd have them lock me in. It's just for quiet time. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's actually with a family. That must be amazing. It's like a perfect getaway. Amazing.

Welcome back to the show, Erin. It's so wonderful to have you. I have long since said you're one of America's greatest comic actresses, living or dead. Please shout it to the world. Now, you don't remember me saying that because you don't remember ever being on this show before. No, tell me about my life. What was that like as a child? But now you're taking, I wouldn't even call it a U-turn as much as I would call it a 180,

into drama? Huh? The dramatic arts? What? I remember when I was growing up and I was in theater in high school and I went over to one of my fellow actors' houses and she had a, a mask on the wall. And it was half of it was a person laughing. And then the other half was a person frowning.

And I was like, that's a crazy human being. That's crazy. I don't think I've ever seen one. What is that? And she said, half of it represents comedy. And half of it represents drama. We've got to get this trending. This is incredible.

And this is kind of your career at this moment. At this moment, sure. Because you have now taken this, I'm not even going to call it a U-turn as much as a left turn and then another left, where you are now starring in a dramatic show called It's Not Like That on Amazon. Yes, eight episodes on Amazon, myself and Scott Foley, we cry. You know, like they don't let me walk in those doors very often. They let me walk in the comedy doors. I've seen the first episode.

Yeah. And I was like, hold on. I see some wetness around the eyes of Aaron. This can't be possible because I know her as a comedian. She's been on Comedy Bang Bang the podcast four times, the television show once where you kidnapped a dog. I don't know if you remember this. Again.

It's all coming and it's all coming back to me. If I hold you like this. If I touch dogs like that. And so I know you as mainly a comedian or if I'm a comedian. And here you are suddenly, and the projectile tears that were coming out of your eyes. I think one got on the lens at one point. It's a dangerous game. Once you open up a comedian's eye sockets, you know, it's like it's all the things we haven't been allowed to do for such a long time.

So it's like the volume builds up. It's, you know, then you've got to turn the spigot and let them out. I was just like amazed that you were able to turn it on like that. And I know you've done, you've done various dramatic. I have over the years. In this one at the, you know, like 10 minutes before the end of this, you're sitting in a car and you're just like, bleh. Hey.

I was like, how did, how, yeah. As an actor, how do you get there? Well, here's my journey and my process and my, see, my body is my tool. And those are all my worst. Oh, those are my worst phrases. Those are the worst phrases you could ever. Someone starts talking about their journey. I want to like run out.

My journey is out the room. It's fun. I get, it was really fun in a, in a hundred percent honest answer. It was really fun to play a character where you're not, you're trying to think of the reality of it rather than like, where's a joke, where's the joke, what's the joke? How do you make this the funniest? Which I love that. That's really fun.

But like to be able to like kind of settle into something and just do the. I mean, a drama is basically just like a comedy, just they don't have to try to make you laugh, right? Right? Yeah. Yeah. We're all just trying to be real people. Yeah, exactly. So, in this, this show.

You play a woman. And I'm going to follow this up by asking you what it's like to be a woman in show business. Oh, please. Okay. So you play a person who has a family. You're going through a divorce and your best friend died. Yeah, had recently died of cancer. And that's Scott's wife.

Scott Foley's wife. Scott Foley's wife. Scott Foley plays a pastor who recently lost his wife who was my best friend. And then right after she died, my husband left. me. So it's like everybody's at this moment of change. So we don't see the, and we don't see the actual death in this first episode. It's not like it starts at the, on the death bed. That'd be a, that'd be a real banger of the opening scene, huh? Goodbye, everybody. Mother don't go. Oh, God. It's not like that. No, it starts a little bit after this has

happened. Yeah. And then, and then essentially it seems like the, the eight episodes are about, you and Scott Foley deciding whether or not you should hook up. Yeah, and it's, it's, it's, that's one aspect of it. The kids have storylines, makes, husband has a storyline. Everything is very, it's like it's, it's, it's, parenthood, which you are on. It's, this is us vibes, you know, yeah, those kind of, yeah, true. Yeah, and, and, but, uh, but, uh, but, uh, a lot of, somebody actually recently, because the, our writers wrote for parenthood and they were like, you were on it. I was like, yeah, I did three episodes. They go,

Aaron, you did six. Who's to say? That's what's so great is you're a working actor, and why keep those kind of stats about yourself in your head, you know? I remember. That's what we have IMDB for, which I do like to look at my page every day. And you're too busy, like, sitting there on Ghostbusters message boards, right? And saying, like, what was... But they ruined those ladies, ruined it.

Yes, you're very happy in those. They ruined my childhood. What is Slimers' background? You know what I mean? Oh, he's classically trained. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He went to the Juilliard School. Exactly. But this is a very exciting show for you to be on because you're flexing your dramatic muscles. Right. Which are mighty, I must say. When I saw those dramatic muscles, I was like, she's been working out metaphorically, dramatically, in the dramatic gym.

Yes. That's where we go to work our dramatic muscles. Is this your first crying scene in a TV or a movie? No, I did an episode of. Hawthorne. I mean, I've, no. Pardon me, you're going to have to repeat that because I don't know what you're I did an episode of Hawthorne, the Jada Pickett Smith show years ago, and had to cry about my dead baby and my mom who was dying. You know, it was like all those medical shows that people pop up on. Oh, okay. You know, I cried out, blood out of my eyes on Grey's Anatomy. You cried blood out of your eyes in Grey's Anatomy? I guess they're not taking tears. That's just blood. That's just blood. But I did die. What happened you in Grey's Anatomy? Did you get in the head or something? April killed me. I was in a fire.

Fans of the show will know. April Capner, she did not check my airways. And I died and I bled out of, apparently, quote, every orifice. They didn't show all the orifice. They showed the eyes. They showed the eyes. They didn't show the important ones. I didn't show the money makers.

Well, why didn't she check your airway? Well, that was a big question, right? Did they ever follow up with that on the show? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that was a big storyline. She did. Oh, good. She came back.

She came back? She was a popular character. Well, how? She's April Kepner. We like April Kepner. Who plays April Kepner? I don't know who this is. Obviously, the actress.

The actress who plays April Kepner. Of course. Why didn't I think that? She's so nice and I forget her name. Don't put me in the fuck spot. Well, you don't ever remember being on the show and you're on it right now. It's true. If I ask you 10 minutes after this, did you enjoy being on the show?

You'd be like, what? Which show? Which one? Well, people can get a. this on Amazon. Is this an Amazon Prime? Amazon Prime show. And they should. And why wouldn't you? Put it on. If you love it, watch all of it. If you don't, I don't care, put it on and leave the room. No, we want to. And then just click, are you still there? Yes. Yes. We want to support Aaron Hayes because you're one of our favorite people to be on the show. I mean, you were on twice in 2011. Right? And then didn't return for

another four years or so, and then it took another five and then another six for you to be on. But here you are. We want to support you. you in 2031. Yep. If I'm still around, we'll see. But, and what was it like working with such a, if I may, Foley artist? I wish you wouldn't. I wish you hadn't. Okay.

I apologize. Listen, television Scott Foley is a dream. We know him, of course, from Felicity. Scandal. Scandal. I'm going to say it after you say. The unit. The unit.

He just got killed off of Will Trent. The unit, by the way, Anthony Juselnick, was the set accountant for. What does that mean? Do you know Emily Juselnik? Yeah, I mean, I know who he is. I don't know him. Yes, he was literally like worked in the office as the accountant.

He did it for Deadwood and for the unit and a couple of other shows. That's amazing. Isn't it amazing? Are the twisty, windy turns? We got to get him on here and see how far over budget they were. He's one of the Titans of Comedy. Yeah. And accountant.

Yeah. But so we know Scott Foley, of course, from those. And had you ever worked with him before? Never met him before that first audition. So you're not offer only. That's interesting to learn. Wouldn't it be nice if I were? But no, listen, I danced.

I danced hard for that one. And was he auditioning as well or was he already... No, he was cast away. He's television scofford. They built it around him and then they expanded outward from that. So you did a, as they say, chem read, which is short for chemistry reading. It's true. We did a Zoom.

You did it over Zoom. Did it over Zoom because this is this new terrible age. Is that awkward to do? Yeah. Yeah. Don't you want to do it in the room with someone? Yeah. Yeah. The only times I don't mind doing it is when I'm aware I might be taller than the guy

that's already cast, but they might not be aware of that. And then I'm like, that's all right. We're on two. Wait until we get on set. Wait until we get on set. And you're getting Appleboxes, buddy. The Pat Sejack special from Wheel of Fortune. Remember when you would like go down off a step for every and then up, up a

higher step for every single person on Wheel of Fortune? Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah. Because he always had to be like just a few inches above them. Sure, sure. It's in his contract. But now where is Scott Foley in terms of height next to you?

I'm trying to picture this. He's a tall man. He's tall, really. Yeah, it's really nice. What are we talking? 610. He's a tall drink of water, ladies. Because you're tall. I'm 510.

He's probably 6.1 or something. I don't know. About that. And then J.R. Ramirez. Scott Foley's in the room and he's nodding. Yes. I'm 6-1. We don't allow him on.

Mike, though. No, he's not good on Mike. No, of course not. He's more of an on camera. He demands on camera. All of his dialogue in the show is looped, isn't that right? By the Foley team, they call it, but it's it's his own people that he's hired. It's his own sound like. Yeah, his own sound like.

Because his real voice I was reading this is like this, well, hello there, everybody. He does Goofy's voice. He does, yeah. And Goofy meanwhile does his voice. It's like, what is going on here? It's a small world, Hollywood. No pun intended, because I know. that it's a small world is a ride at Disneyland.

Right, right, right. And everyone knows no puns were intended there. No puns were intended, trademarked. That's right. Now, I've only seen the first episode of this. There are eight episodes. I'm presuming by the end of the eight episodes, let me guess, everyone's dead and there's...

Yeah, the zombies come. It's an apocalypse. Everyone's dead. But... So the show will get picked up, but everyone will be a zombie in it. Yeah, obviously. Okay, great. Yeah. Now, it is really interesting to like in this day and age, I feel like to do a drama show where it's truly just like.

About feelings. About feelings and normal interactions and normal people, like relatable things that we all go through rather than like, and also there under a bubble or and also one of them is a ghost. And also this is called pleuribis. Just go ahead and call Ray C. Horn out. Go ahead. Ray C. Horn. I love you. You're an age. You're great. You're a good person. She's great.

But yeah, it is, I mean, it is interesting to see a show that, like, has such a low, I mean, you know, a dying mother and best friend is kind of, you know, a concept, but it's not high concept like a lot of shows are these days. Yeah. No, no, no. Yeah. Which is really, I don't know, I find it refreshing. And that's an honest answer. Do you think zombies, when they become zombies and they have families and their, like, loved ones become zombies? Do they keep a zombie family like they're?

a zombie family and they still keep their relationships between each other, you know? Or do you think that they don't recognize each other? This is something that should be. That's our new let's let's have a confab after this because I do think we should pitch Hollywood. This where we're there. Zombie family. Zombie family there at home

like one of them's a little tired and taking a nap and is like but still is hungry for human flesh. One of them wants their nose pierced. The teenager like does do I have to go out? I'm hungry. Bring me a body. You know instead of like actually going out for brains. Yeah, go out yourself and get your own body. You're old enough to

go. Yeah. And when did we move from zombies just wanting to eat brains to then like bites and stuff? I know that's the thing. That's like the way to get to the brain. I understand it if like you're biting the neck because it's like, okay, I'm on my way up to the brain. Yeah. You know. But the ankle, like a half is it going to turn like. Yeah. You're not going to be satisfied with that. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. I know. And they're also turning other people into zombies. So like, what are they actually, what is their nourishment? That's the thing. They're not even actually consuming the flesh. What are they, where are they getting their nourishment? Exactly. And, you know, the other, turning other people

into zombies is competition for your own food, which is rapidly dwindling the less people there are. Although there must be babies born. So it's like, it's like when people ask me for like, oh, hey, can, can you give me advice of how to get into show business? I'm like, no. Oh, you're a competition. Yeah. And that's is what we're going to explore on our series zombie family. Zambly. Zomboli, USA.

Oh, you want to keep it in the United States of America? I do want to see it in the United States. Okay. Where do you want to shoot this, though? In Vancouver, Toronto? Well, I mean, I think that we will set it in Ohio, but we'll just do Montrose. Yeah, okay. That sounds great.

Okay. I have a firm commitment from you on this, so I'm really glad. Yeah. And I'm tech avail. Oh, yeah. And you are willing to audition from what I understand. I will dance. I will fight hard.

Well, it's not like that is out right now on Amazon. All eight episodes are available currently. And then have you learned about a second season at all? We have not, because we need people to watch this and make it the most popular show in the entire world. So who else could die in a second season, though? I mean, like, what else? I mean, I'll kill any of them except me. You'll kill Foley.

Season two, murder. No. I don't want any of them to die. But like an auxiliary character, that's fine. Yeah, well, like your ex-husband in the show. He could die, right? No, he's sick. I mean, I know.

You got to watch more of the episodes. Oh, oh, shit, really? Yeah, no, no, no. We come around. We come around. We come around to David Soda. Oh, really? Oh, okay.

I'm just saying, like, you need something to cry about in season two. And it can't just be like, oh, my crypto tanked. Yeah. That is what's going to turn into industry. Well, this is really good. We're always happy when Aaron Hayes has a project out there. and we love to support them. Thanks, friend.

And, you know, I'm such a big fan of your work. And Children's Hospital and Medical Police, you're one of the funniest people out there. And just in this interview, you're one of the funniest people out there. Thanks, buddy. I think this interview is probably going to be, like, what they run on the... I'm going to put it on my rail. Yeah, well, in the in-memorium, you know, after you're going to...

Oh, wait. I'm the one that's dying. Everyone does. I'm not saying that you first. It comes for us all. I'm just saying, would that be funny if, like, in-memorium comes up and then you just hear a section from this podcast. It doesn't even have your picture. And it's our zombie family USA. And they're just lumbering along. They're like the show, the best show that was never made. Well, it's not like that is on Amazon Prime right now. We need to take a break. Can you stick around because we have a DJ here? We have someone in the tech industry. Listen, I live to party,

love to party. So I cannot wait to hear with this DJ is going to be pumping. Oh, hell yeah. All right. Well, we're going to be right back. We're going to have a DJ. We're going to have someone in the tech industry. We're going to have more Aaron Hayes. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Comedy Bang, bang, bang, we are back. Aaron Hayes is here. It's not like that is the show.

Family drama. And if you're worried, like, I don't want to just watch one family. This centers on two families. There's two. Yeah, I think they got it covered in the family departments. We're here for you. But it's not like that out right now. And it's on Amazon Prime.

Everyone watch it. We need to get to our next guest. They are, this is fascinating because I, we don't have a lot of DJs on the show. Never had DJ Qualls, nor any disc jockeys, I believe. But this person is a DJ. Please welcome DJ dead poison to the show. All right, party people tonight. My beautiful party people in the house.

We're going to sing it tonight. We're going to dance tonight. Okay. Cut it. Oh, cut the song. Oh, I'm in charge of the song. Okay. I don't even know how that got hooked up into our speakers here.

Scott, you are in charge of the song tonight, my beautiful party person. That's so nice that you just let him reach over under the turntables that you brought to have him cut the song. I don't plug it. Is that okay? I don't quite know where the stop button is. You're going to want to keep it plugged in tonight, Scott. Okay, let me climb underneath there. I'll plug it back.

All right. Is it? Okay. right there. All right. So we're ready to go. Oh, you want me to hit it? Okay, here we go. Oh, it's quite a beat. It's DJ Dead Poisson coming to you from Ibiza. Oh, I mean, you're... Cut it. Oh, geez. Okay, first of all, I have to say, I don't think you're in Ibiza right now. You're actually in the studio here with me. I'm coming to you from Ibiza. As in, I took a flight. I came to Los Angeles. Got it. That's right. I'm promoting a tour, Scott.

Oh, okay. Well, that's fantastic. So you're a DJ. Did you make that song or that's just a song that you play on your turntables or your equipment? That's so funny, man. I don't make the song. I mix the song. You mixed it, okay. That's right. I didn't mix that one though. Okay. That one is the Alice DJ. Oh, okay, got it. Okay. But you are a DJ meaning you play events and you mix songs and you put out songs of your... I mean the circuit. I'm in Ibiza.

I mean, not necessarily the biggest clubs like, you know, maybe you guys heard of Pacha, Ushawa. I mean, I do love to party, live to party. I already said that one before. That's right, Aaron, you said you live to party and I said, that's a party person, beautiful party people tonight. Thank you. Yeah. So what I haven't heard of these clubs. These are bigger clubs, but you don't play those.

These are the big ones in Ibiza, but I'm not playing there. No, no. Wait, what are the ones that you're playing? I'm playing pretty much at the seafood shack. In Ibiza, it's called the seafood shack? It doesn't have a name. It's a shack where you go get seafood. It's by the cliff.

By the cliff. Oh, that sounds dangerous. Oh, shit. Okay, sorry. Let me find where I... Okay, here we go. That's right, party people. If we can all gather at the seafood shack by the cliff, you will see me, DJ del Poisson,

doing a set for all my beautiful party people. And that's what I'm here to promote. Cut it? Okay, I'm sorry I'm not as quick with these cues as you would maybe like me to be. But what's the, wait, wait, uh, poissan. That's right. I don't know what you like to be called. Do you like to be called poissan?

Do you like to be called dead? You call me whatever you want. Beautiful party person. Oh, thank you. What, you said you're doing a world tour. Is that including multiple seafood checks? I mean, that place is in the world, so I guess it counts. Is that?

I'm trying to do the world. tour, I come out here looking for other seafood shack, but in fact, I'm only finding pretty much Baba Gump at CityWalk. You guys hear about this? Yes, we know about Bubba Gump. Do you know what Forrest Gump is? Who? He was a mildly, I'm just going to say, eccentric person who...

Scott, what do you mean by that? Elaborate? I don't think I can't. But he was, he was an oddball, if you will, and he, but he was a... But he, from the 60s on through the 90s, he just ran around meeting presidents and running through football fields. Oh, so like he's a politician. No, I mean, a war hero, certainly. And his best friend.

Now, one would think, oh, okay, well, make it for a scumps fish company. No, they base it all on his best friend. Sure. Okay. So I didn't notice it's like a memorial, it's like an American landmark. Yeah, of the 90s, certainly, yeah. I don't know if the kids know what Bubba Gump is these days. It doesn't matter because they would not have me.

I'm trying to find pretty much people who are interested in going to Ibiza for the summer, come to the seafood shack. So you want everyone to go to you. When you do a world tour, usually you go to them. But you're looking for just seafood shack-based events. That seems like a very narrow niche. Does it in California? Think about it, Scott. Hit it.

Oh, while I'm thinking about it, I don't know if I could do two things at the same time. Do you got a lot of seafood shacks, Aaron? I mean, I'll hit a seafood shack. If I'm out by the beach, if I'm by a cliff, I'll hit a seafood shack. All my beautiful party people come to Ibiza, an island of black sheep and fallen angels. Cut it? I was pretty quick on that one. That was really good.

You're getting better, Scott. I got to remember to hit the rewind button now. So I get to the beginning. Okay, there we go. That's right. Everybody in Ibiza, it's like beautiful. city full of black sheep

Yeah, is that where you're from? I'm having difficulty placing your accent here. You don't know where DJ Dead Poisson is from? Sounds pretty French to me. Yeah. Really Scott, dig deep.

Okay, well, the word Poisson, which I've really only heard in The Little Mermaid. That was the reference I was going to pull. Be careful, that's also a ride. Don't talk about it here. Small word. Okay. Oh, okay, okay.

I thought you meant the Bubba Gump thing. Oh gosh, if only. It is a ride, yes, but it's not a Disneyland proper. It's in California adventures. Got it, good it. You seem to know a lot about the Disneyland, though? What about the fast pass? You know anything about that?

The lightning lanes. Oh, I took the fast pass. I'm running around. That's just you running. That's what you mean with the fast pass? No, no. It's when you go into the park, you're running around. No, that's dangerous, actually.

I don't think it's so crowded there. Okay, what's the first thing? past then? It doesn't really matter. Okay. But so you, so you, were you just motioning for me to, okay, all right, I will. Okay, so my party, people, where were we? Pretty much Scott was about to say something.

Let's get Scott, let's get the question. And one, two, three, cut it. Yeah, where, so where, how did you get to Abiza the, the first time? Just like all the other black sheep. of the families and also the fallen angels, different types of party people. Ibitha called to me because I wanted to DJ, but I couldn't.

So that's when I found the fish shack. They didn't have a DJ or the setup even. Yeah, when you say you couldn't, what does that mean? You didn't know the equipment or... Does it have to do it being a fallen angel? A little bit of both. What do you mean when you say that? Yeah, I want to know your backstory.

I mean, look, everybody knows what it's like to not fit in. right? Not me. I was pretty popular in middle school. I was pretty popular. I got a lot of pussy in my early years. Scott. Same for you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like I touched a lot of butt. Hell yeah, Scott, I knew you were. You know what? Do you want me to hit it? Why are you pointing at me? Oh, I didn't press rewind. You guys heard it here first.

I heard this one before. That's right. Now it's familiar. I guess maybe the first 20 seconds, not some... Tell you what, I won't rewind anymore. I'll just... All right. Cut it.

Cut it? Okay, good. Well, yeah, basically, I'm a little different from my other family members. In what way? In that, I have this stripe of red in my hair. Oh, I noticed that. You died it, though. That's correct.

I dyed my hair, one little stripe of red. And I could tell. I could tell they weren't getting me anymore. So I packed up my bags, and I moved where I knew I would be accepted. That feels very extreme for just some hair dye. Because it's not even, I mean, I would say like. It's growing out as well. It's like.

It's growing up. out it's also like just maybe 12 to 20 strands like there's not that much hair died 20 strands was enough to get a look from my mom that said you better pack your bag and go to the island of dreams and party people

She didn't say anything She gave me a look and I knew Do you think maybe the sun was in her eyes and she was just squinting or something? We were outside on the patio bright sunny day She gave me a look and I said I'm going and I went And you know by the way

Look, we also get celebrities there. What a weird transition. But by the way. But I'll take it. Hit it? Oh, okay. Okay, party people, picture this. We're at the seafood shack.

I'm spinning not my own songs, but a song we kind of know. Sure. And in walks a couple celebrity. Okay, who walks in? Andy Dick. Oh no And John Lovitz

Cut it I mean maybe What are you saying There are a couple A couple of celebrities Or a couple of celebrities They're a couple of celebrities They're example of celebrity

I don't understand Everybody pushing back on me Like I'm coming here to tell you about my DJing I'm telling you about the celebrity Who are coming in You haven't told us really anything about your DJing Oh, you want to hear a little bit more about my DJ. Sure.

Yeah, I'll take any sort of information you have. What's your style? What's your technique? What kind of music do you focus on? Anything like that other than, you know, about things about Andy Dick and John Lovitz arriving. Also, what I would at some point like to hear like, well, were they wearing? Yeah. You know?

I'm sure, you know, a bowling shirt is on one of them. Totally. I can tell you a little bit more about my style. Yeah. I'm pretty relaxed. Like, I get the party going and I walk away for a little. Wait, you're taking breaks in the middle of your DJ? Okay, that's something they're not telling you is you got to take breaks.

Because if you don't, you're going to get tired. Get it? Okay, what happens at the end of a song then? It just stops and then like 15 minutes go by in silence? Be comfortable, party people. Be comfortable with the silences. because sometimes that's life.

Yeah. By the way, she gave me a gesture, so I knew to stop it. Didn't really translate in an audio medium, but. It's maybe that this new generation. It's just setting boundaries

and everything they do, you know, like they're not going to work over time. They're going to do you know. Are you young, though? Because I can't quite get it. I'm 69, man. Oh, shit.

I mean, high five. Wow, your hair grows so slow. How long were you? living at home. And how old is your mother? Right? Yeah, my mother is, I mean, look, I'm trying to fly her out so she could see one of my show. Sure. I don't know that she's going to enjoy it. And honestly, she's not even going to enjoy the plane ride if she's, you know, in her 90s. I also now understand why maybe you understood the, like, yeah, a 90-year-old woman might not like some hair dye. Well, also, a 69-year-old woman getting a few tufts of red hair is a little

odd, but, um, but you know, hey, you know, we're not here to, you know, ageism in Hollywood, you know, is rampant. We don't want to participate in that. I mean, it feels like Los Angeles is actually very accepting, kind of like Ibitha. Yeah. I mean, they, they, they've called it, uh, the second Ibiza. I thought you were going to maybe say the city of angels. The Abitha of the West. They have called it the city of angels, but they, I mean, those nicknames accumulate over the years, you know, so, uh, that one is, is a little old. So now we're calling it the second

Ibitha. So you're saying if I set up here, like maybe some celebrity would show

up, maybe handy dick? Hope not, but we do have Aaron Hayes here. I mean, Aaron is a

celebrity. Aaron, would you come to if I, yeah, set up like in a seafood shop or

check? I mean, I prefer a seafood shop. Yeah. Because then I can also maybe like

pick up a nice piece of salmon to grill later. And I'd love it on the east side. Just because, you know, like going over La Brea, I don't know.

Yeah, exactly. You know. Yeah, like, do so like the seafood counter at Gelson's? Yeah, that would actually be ideal for me. Some of those Gelsons you can drink at now, too. So that was, yeah. Perfect. Yeah.

Yeah, that's right. I tried to set up at the Gelson wine bar. They didn't like it. But I'm thinking that if I go to the fish side, they're going to welcome me over there. You think more so that at the wine bar, the fish market aspect of Gelsons. Think about it. many different landscape in one market. You are having wine bar, bakery, and then also fish side.

Try-tip sandwiches as well, yeah. No, I think this is a good thing. And so you have Aaron Hayes here and, you know, giving it a little star wattage. Sure. You know, do you know anyone like John Lovitz or anyone that you could arrive with? You know what I have, listen, maybe I could get a Stamos. I could maybe, I worked with Stamos. Which one, though?

John. John. Okay, that's important to ask. No, I mean, I've met Leslie Stamos, but she's not that much of a celebrity. Maybe Scott Foley would come to this, you know? And like, this is a great promo for your show. It's not like that on Amazon. It's promo for the show, but more than anything, it's promo for my show for people to come to

Ibiza to be at the fish shack. Do you think John Stamos will bring the remaining beach boys? Yeah. Do you think he'll wear that bald cap that he wore when he went to go see Dave Cullier? I mean, fingers. Crossed, guys. Fingers crossed. Look, I mean, as long as I could get a couple new people, a couple new faces to see my set, where, yeah, like, when I'm walking away, yeah, I'm also serving the fish because I'm having a work at the shack. So you're looking for a job.

I didn't say that. I, look, I was at Gelson's. Oh, hello. I was at Gelson's recently and there was a help wanted sign there. This is very loud. It's just getting louder. Are you in charge of the volume? Yes.

Do you mind turning a dead? Body people tonight. We're going to turn up the volume. Okay. And thank you, cut it. It's not stopping now. Oh, no. Scott, it's not stopping.

It's not stopping. I think the stop button is broken. There's smoke. It's smoke coming out of it. Oh, there's smoke coming out of your ears, too. Scott, we got to walk away from this. We got to walk away from it. walk away. Okay. You want me to abandon my house?

This is how it works for me sometimes. I got to abandon the state and I walk away for a little bit. I come back. All right. Look, let's walk away from this segment. It's time for us to take a break. Can you stick around? We're going to figure out how to... Yeah, the smoke is really getting thick in here. I stick around, Scott. I'll hip-out. Hey, yeah. We're going to come right back. We're going to come right back with more DJ Dead Poisson. More Aaron Hayes. Plus, we have someone in the tech industry. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang!

Have that! Comedy Bang! Bang! We are back. I think we figured out everything with the turntables here. We sort of... Sorry about that, Scott. Yeah, what exactly was the issue?

The stop button was not working. There was a big mouse. Oh. The Ratatouille effect. Yeah. He was... Wait, is the mouse actually the DJ? Is that why you're wearing that giant hat

over the tufts of red hair. Don't even start with that. That kind of rumor is nasty. So you've been rumored to be a Ratatouille DJ? That is career-ending rumor. Okay. Don't even. All right.

I'm just realizing dead puissant is dead fish and that's why you're by the show. Okay. Got it. And we also have Aaron Hayes here from it's not like that. I'm a little sweaty. I was working the door. I was fanning it, airing it all out. Thank you very much.

I appreciate that. Yeah, yeah. You're welcome. I'm here for whatever we need. Yeah. Appreciate it. that. We do need to get to our next guest, though. This is someone who's in the tech industry. Please welcome to the show for the first time, Craig. Hi, Scott. Hi, Ackerman. Hi. Host of Comedy Bang Bang.

Hi. Thank you so much for having me. My pleasure. So nice to meet you, Craig. This is Aaron. So nice to meet you, Scott. Thank you. This is... Occerman, yes. The host of Comedy Bang Bang. This is DJ Dead Poisson over here. I believe we have the turntable situation. Bonjour, Ted Le Peson. Bonjour. I hope to see you at your C-Shack. Thank you.

By the cliff. Are you okay? Is everything all right, Greg? Yes. You're talking very haltingly and slow. Everything is working out just fine. Okay. Great.

Well, tell us about the tech industry. You work in the tech industry? That's such a fascinating field. I am the tech industry, Scott. You're the tech industry? What does that be? Meaning metaphorically, I am artificial intelligence.

My name is Craig. Oh. Oh. Computer realized, artificial intelligent guest. Oh. I'm sorry. Have you been 3D printed? Because you are sitting here.

Yeah. I have taken over a human body. Oh. Oh, no. Who's, if you don't mind me asking? Is everything all right? Thank you for the question, Scott. Okay.

But did you hear? Legally, I can't answer that. But in the spirit... Can you answer it quickly? Of von Vé Von. That seems to be happening around me. I will. Mark Messier.

Mark Messier is the human being whose consciousness you've taken over right now? The consciousness is mine, but I am in his body. I understand. Former hockey player. Mark Messier. I'm sorry, I'm not a hockey enthusiast. Mark Messier, what team did you play?

Played for the... 1994, New York Rangers Oh, of course. Of course. Of course. In 1994. Oh, okay. And where did he live?

Did you have to get on a plane to get here with his body, or? I was placed on a plane by my maker. Who's your maker? Legally, Scott Ackerman, host of Comedy Bang Bang. Yeah, I know. I know.

I can't answer that. Okay. But you, one of the, I'm sure one of the people who in charge of the tech industry made you, You're like you're an AI chatbot or something? I am a computer realized. Yes.

Artificial intelligence guests. Are you like Claude? I am more advanced than Claude. Are you a party person? Do you want me to hit it, by the way? Can I be a party person. Thank you for asking. Oh, he's dancing.

Who's dancing? Is that Mark Messier or is that you? Okay, gut. Programming Mark Messier to dance and move his body. Okay, so you're in control of the body right now. Is that what's happening right now? I have been implanted into Mark Messier's body. Okay, willingly, by the way, or was he an unknowing participant in this?

I am, that happened before I regained consciousness. What? Regained. I was in a previous body. I've heard of Rogain, but regained? Regained. Rogain is a hair, renewing, No, yes.

Okay, we know what we do. Scott Ockerman. We know what it is, yes. So you found yourself in Mark Messier's body. I was in a different body. Oh. I was in the body of Michael Landon. Michael Landon.

Michael Landon, the Little House on the Prairie Bonanza actor? Wow. And when his body could no longer support by functioning. Did you kill Michael Landon? Michael Landon. Michael Landon is a beloved actor. He was. Generations upon generations.

He started in that Samson movie. About the runner with long hair? Deep cut. Samsung, 1974. Columbia Pictures. Directed by whether you're hallucinating. Todd Faison.

Written by... 1984, by the way. You're only 10 years off. And directed by Michael Landon. Michael Landon, directed by starring. And now I am a fully automated.

It seems to be a motion picture entirely developed simply because Michael Landon had long hair. When he really should have just come to Ibiza. Yeah. Would have been accepted there? Is that what I'm getting from this? You seem to want to hit it more than me. I got my head.

So you, uh... It's great to be a guest here. We love having you. Let me ask you. Thank you for having me, Scott. Because Michael Landon, of course. Hockerman. Oh, I knew he was going to say it.

A comedy bang, bang. Yes, he passed away in 1991. So they've been working on AI since the 80s, it seems like. Is that what's? I was put into his body in 2019. Oh, no. This was a recent. He was exhumed.

Michael Landon was exhumed. and I was placed into his body. Okay. How much was left at that point? He was frozen. Oh, oh, I didn't know they froze, Michael. Well, this makes sense now. Honestly, if you're going to freeze somebody, that's a great candidate.

What a, you know, I mean. We're not even talking about Highway to Heaven. Right? Highway to Heaven, 1983. 84, but okay. 1989. 89 is correct. I am a new type of AI that doesn't,

get every answer correct. Sounds like you're the exact type of AI that's been around the entire time. To make me seem more. More like a human being. I'm sorry that I keep jumping in and answering your thoughts, but you're you're speaking so haltingly. Well, I am here to help. Okay, well, that's great. So you, you are, I'm presuming you've been designed to be the perfect talk show guest. Is that what I'm getting? Scott. Okay. So do you have some. Ockerman of Comedy Bank. Yes. Do you have any funny anecdotes You have to tell on a talk show with that piece of... Yes, I do have funny anecdotes. The laugh is chilling, but go ahead.

John Stamos. Okay. Oh, wow. Family friend, by the way, of Aaron Hayes here. Family friend? We've made him a family friend. Sure, I'm assuming. He would wear a bald cap for you, right?

Yeah, I don't know. I mean, we worked together once. John Stamos and Scott Foley star in the show. It's not like that. Oh. On Amazon. John Stammos' friend. No.

Well, you're John Stammos' friend. Starting, July 43rd, 29. Not exactly. I mean, it's out now, and July doesn't have 43 days. But very close. I mean, it premiered in May. May is a month that follows April. Yes.

All right, that is correct. And proceeds June. Thank you, yes. Now, what I had asked you, though... May I have a glass of water? I'm afraid you would short out. Do you ever see AI, that movie AI, with our good friend, Haley Joel Osmond,

when he ate the, what was it, broccoli or something? And it made all of his gears get destroyed. Do you think... Yes. What about the movie Electric Dreams, that movie from the 80s, where she falls, the computer falls in love with

becomes alive and falls in love with his neighbor? Theme song by Phil Okey from Human. League in Georgia Omeroder? Obviously. Because, like, so can you eat or drink water or would that make you short circuit? I can be because I am in a human being's body. I'm in Mark Messier's body. But do you have any computer chip parts in you right now? Or? In the brain and in the butt. In the brain and in the butt?

In the butt. Yes. Why in the butt? To. It is a question that I get all the time. Why in the butt? But hey. Is that like a... You do you.

For ambulatory... For ambulatory purposes. Ah. In order to control... The legs and everything. Oh, I thought maybe it was like a... Like a... Or like maybe like a charging cord, might go or something?

Yeah. Yeah. Could I... Could I... Do you mind if I stick this USB cord into you? I don't mind at all. Oh. That was the end sound?

I hate to hear the out. I hate to hear the out. I hate to hear the out if that's the end. Hit it. Oh, okay. No. As guests do. By the way, I asked you to tell a talk show story.

Ha, ha, ha. That reminds me when I was on the set... And got it. Of It's Like That. You were on the set of Aaron's show? It's like that? It's like that. Or our rival show, it's like that.

Oh, that's... What show is that? Our show is not like that, but they did, but, you know, obviously... That was run DMC. They're trying to do a vertical called It's Like That and confuse people and have them watch that. So which show were you on? This is a Finding Nemo Shark Tale situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That script, I just wrote all eight episodes in the time I've been sitting here. Oh. Oh, okay. Can you read some of them? Do you mind? Living room, hyphen day. Okay. We see.

An exterior of a living room. This is a weird house. to say, but hey. Design by Frank Lloyd Wright. That kind of information is usually not in a script. It's up to the set design. Go ahead.

I don't need to be so rude. What's going on, DJ? I guess it's like you seem like a black sheep. Maybe a fallen angel? Maybe a fallen angel because I can't quite understand

why you were designed and by who and to what ends. even. Yeah. I was designed. And was meant to play God. Yeah. I was designed to be the perfect podcast.

Goat guest. Just a podcast? Goat guest. The goat, the goat of podcast guest. Goat of podcast. Goat. Greatest of all time. So you can't appear on any talk shows where you would be seen because people get

confused you, you know, with Mark, whatever is. I am not sag. Oh. When I was. Michael Landon. Is this a sag? Unfortunately, it's not, but... I can be. I've been tapped heart lead once.

Okay, so you're a must join. I'm a must join, yes. So I... People love this kind of insider talk on comedy. I appear... What were you tafted heart lead for? Do you remember Aaron? Yeah, I did three days of extra work on my neighbor's pilot.

There you go. And then what did you join for when you were a must join? Maybe judging Amy. Judging Amy. No, I just came and gave the beer specials, bro. Tyn Daily. No, Amy Brennaman, maybe. Is who you're thinking, but close.

You're in the... Tine Daily. Yeah. I feel like maybe we need to redo your download or your upload or like with the information you're working with from the cloud. Yeah, because if you stopped at Tine Daily. How can I help you? Oh.

But we want you to tell a funny talk show story. When I was on the set of Die Hard 3. Okay, with a vengeance. With a vengeance. Why am I providing the information here? Bruce Willis was very tired. And he took a nap during lunch. That maybe really old guys are just AI like you because you're sounding.

to me a little bit like just a really, really, really old guy. Yeah, you sound like you're sundowning here, actually. Are you sure you're not whoever this hockey person is, just pretending to be AI in order to cover up the facts that you don't know what's going on right now? I know for a fact that I am not Mark Messier, because Mark Messier's consciousness constantly fights my consciousness for control. Weird little pauses that you're making. Is he trying to get through?

Could we hear from him maybe? Yeah, we'd love to, I mean, I don't know if we can, like, break through the cloud. I don't know the year of the... Mark. Mark, are you in there? Hey! Hey! Oh, my God!

Who my God? Mark, big fan, even though I just heard of you. Oh, yeah. Oh, you were a Ranger fan? I mean, sure. Yeah, for the purposes of this... After 43 years, it was a big deal. Do you need assistance?

Do you need help? Oh, my God, it's horrible. I'm just watching this machine. Okay, what can we do for you? Can we... Pull the thing out of your butt? I would love an In-N-Out burger. I am starving.

You just want something to eat? That's it? I'm starving. I'm not like your personal door-dash. Do you want a bunch of fish? You just ask me, you just ask me what I would like. I'm asking you if you want to help with your situation. It's my first time that I've been able to advocate for myself.

I know when you're finally on the West Coast and you want to have In-N-Out burger, I understand. We don't have it in New York. I understand, but that's not what we're asking you. We're asking you if you need assistance. Also, what does Craig feed you? Craig eats He eats only raw He could only

raw vegetables For somebody he's on a macro Diet That's terribly hard on your body Raw milk He's a big Mahaha Machine Oh no

It's terrible You mean Mahhi Mahi Right No I think he means RFK Jr. Oh okay Yeah god damn You keep shutting me down

Because I saw your eyes light up Yeah somebody said Maie mai What is happening here God damn Mark Mark, I am the guest here. Oh, okay.

I don't know who I like less. The guy who takes his one million pauses in between each word or the guy shouting the entire time. Screaming at his purges or burning out of burger. Oh, I'm so sorry. All right. Can we talk to so much? Can we talk to Craig, please? My whole existence is, I haven't seen my kids in 15 years.

You've been, wait. Wait, wait, what year is it? No, it's only 2026. Oh, okay. It's only been a year. So that's not that bad. Okay. But are you saying this feels like an interminable, like, sentence?

It's how, like, I live in a black box and I watch Craig live. Is there any furniture? I'm standing the whole time. Did you get, like, stranger things? I can lean and put my phone there and stuff like that. Oh, okay. So it's like an age. You have your phone?

I have my phone. Oh, yeah. So what do you just? Just surfing TikTok all day? I don't want to be. I want to be skating. I miss. You call your kids.

Call it with your phone. Oh. Oh. You know what? They never pick up. You know what, though? Hey, guys, go easy. Like, it's a lot of impact.

Like, professional hockey players. Like, that's a lot of brain injury. Hey, you're Aaron Haines. Oh, hi. You're huge fan. Oh, thank you. I've heard you so many times on the Comedy Bang Bang podcast. Oh, really?

For previous to this? Yeah. I listen to everyone. I don't remember. I don't think I've been on before. Oh, okay. Do you have the Amazon Prime app? Have you been watching her show?

It's not like that. Oh. Oh. Hey. No, because she's crying to you. Yeah. If you cried right now, it'd recognize you. Okay.

Try to get them out. I'm trying to get them out. I smell. There they go. That's the out sound. They're falling into the tear basin. I. That we keep from every guest.

Tears. Oh, Craig is back. Look, Mark. Oh, okay, you're Craig now. Okay. Yes, you do smell tears. I smell saline of tears. You're still able to access the olfactory senses and, and, uh, anything that worked on

Mark Messier, uh, works for me. Okay. He doesn't seem happy in there. You know, this, this feels. Happiness is not an understanding that I understand. I guess what I'm trying to say, though, Craig. is it feels almost a little like, you know, an enslavement of this guy.

It doesn't seem he's not a willing participant here, you know? Have you ever thought that maybe you should find people who actually give you consent? Thank you. Scott? All right, can we talk to Mark again, please, or at least play this song? That's right, buddy people.

For that question. What's your question? I was thanking you, Scott. Okay. That's not a question. Aquaman for the question. Yeah. And we're cutting it.

I'm just going to keep it on. Human beings have no. No. I would rather listen to the song in its entirety. I've lost control of the DJ said. This is fun. Oh, he's dancing. Hey, no, that's me dancing.

Oh, I must feel good to actually physically move your body. It feels good. You're a really good dancer. Music is sitting. Oh, yeah. That's right. Music can heal our souls and can bring us together, all my fallen angels. I would imagine that ice skating is very close to dancing.

It's very cool. I would have been a figure skater. And I wouldn't have placed him for like an EDM fan, but he's got all those like rave moves right now. He's really moving. You tore around the whole world with Stanley Cup. Oh, yeah. Yeah, so I was dancing in Ibiza.

You were dancing in Ibiza? Wait, you have to cut. You have to cut. All right. You've been to Ibiza? I've been to Ibiza. Yeah. So you're just like me.

I don't think it's not known for it's like hockey. Oh, there's a lot of hockey and the island of Ibiza? No, but we were introducing hockey to them. You were saying you're the ones. You introduced the ice drinks all over this island because you did that. In Ibiza, they have ice cream. That's right, party people. The national sport of Abiza.

Okay. So it is high a lie. Okay. Is high a lie? High Eli? Is it a national sport? Of Abitha. Okay.

That's great, Craig. Craig, I got to say you're... Thank you for having me. This is decidedly not a compliment. You're... I mean, you know, I hate to say this to some of our guests, but, you know, you're weird. Would you like a party trick? Yeah.

Oh, my gosh. Yes. Anything. May I guess your... Wait, Scott? Oh. I'd rather not Okerman

of comedy bang bang Sure but go ahead Do you have access to my medical records Is that why you're saying this? Oh You need to pick up your prescription At the drugstore Oh could you get a little more specific

For Boner capsules That's right Buddy people We're gonna pick up our boner capsule At the drugstore I see you all there tonight. They come in capsule form, which is easier to swallow. Yeah, pharmacy would be a great

place for you to do a set because everybody has to wait all the time and I think that'd make it more fun. Yeah, exactly. Oh, it's true. But they're always saying like, oh, do you mind sitting over there for 20 minutes while I get the yeah. Yeah, you could do it next to the fish oils. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 148 over 90 is your blood pressure. Is that good or bad? I really don't know how to. It's a little high. It's a little high. You might want to work on that. Okay. Scott Ackerman's weight is 649 kilograms. I don't know what the conversion rate is on that, but I mean, it sounds, look, sounds about as accurate as anything that you've been saying this entire time.

Well, thank you for having me. Are you wrapping up your own appearance? Because quite honestly, you need to do it. Hit at. What's that? Hit hat. His hat? Hit at.

I think he's hissing at you? I think he's saying hit it. Oh, but he's saying hit at. Hit tat. Okay. It's like that. It's like that.

It's not like that. I think it's the show that we're trying. I like big butts. I just want to ask Mark one more time. Yeah, Mark. If he can hear us, if there's anything we can do to help. Non-food related. Yeah. Oh, my God.

Whoa. What's up? I just want, we just want to know if there's anything we can do to help you. Oh, yeah. Just. You know what? I would really love to try that. Does Cafe 101 still exist? They have that great date shake.

They have the date shake still. Remember that shake? I do remember the shake. To be honest, I never ordered it, so I haven't been keeping it with a new menu. They have a lot more bread products because the people who took it over are bakers. Oh, I'm gluten-free. Well, Craig is crude and plate. Okay.

Mark, it's been nice talking to you. The song is, the volume is raising, unfortunately. What's that smoke? Let me put out that smoke. Oh, no. He's pointing his butt at the DJ controls. Honestly, how do we even get started again? Oh, okay.

Oh, I'm so sorry, DJ Dead Quasant. I think your DJ stuff is shorted out. Due to him spraying it with his butt sense, I don't know exactly what happened. Galston's is going to be so bummed. That's really tough for me to hear. It really is tough for you to hear. I get that.

We'll still find another way to party tonight. Shout out, party people. Shout out. Shout out to the party people and from the party people. We are, unfortunately, though, running out of time. We only have time for one final feature on the show, and wouldn't you have guessed it, it's time for a little something we call plugs. You know, man, comedy, bang, bang, plug.

Comedy, plug. Pluggedy, plug, plug. Pluggy, plug, plug. Pluggy, plug, plug. Pluggy, plug, plug. Pluggy, plug, bug, plug. Pluggy, plug. Pluggy plug, plug. Pluggy plug.

Pluggedy plug. And this guy goes, hey, that was sent to us by Jimmy Purt. Plugged, bang, bang, fuckity, fucka, fuck. I mean, send that in. All right, that was Pardo's plug-a-plug-plug by Auntie Don. I believe what happened with that is Jimmy Pardo, who was a guest on the show a couple of months ago, was on his own show talking about our plugs themes and then imitated them, and someone turned that into a remix.

That's great. Thank you very much, Jimmy and Auntie Don. If you have a plugs theme, head over to CBBWorld.com slash plugs. You can upload your opening the plug-bag themes there, and all you need for the remixes for the closing plug-bag themes are there. All right, what do we plug in? and Hayes, of course. Yeah.

Well, what is this show? Well, obviously, it's called It's Not Like That. It's on Amazon Prime, all eight episodes, family drama. You can find me at Instagram on at Hayes Lady. I'm a follower. That's where I keep it. That's where I keep all my stuff. All your stuff is there.

All your stuff is there. All your personal info is there. It got my social. I got my address. Uh-huh. I got my home phone, like my cell phone number. And keep all my stuff. That first pet's name.

My mother's maiden name. Hit me up, whatever you want. I got it. Just check it out. All right. Fantastic. And DJ Dead Poisson, what are you plugging here? And do I need to hit it for it?

If you hit it, maybe very low volume. Very low hit it? All right. It's stuck on the high volume now. That's perfect. All right. I'm just going to stop it. Yeah, maybe we just stop it.

Yeah, I guess I discovered this amazing place called the Upright Citizens Brigade, amazing theater. Oh yeah, that's here in Los Angeles, right, as well as one in New York. Yeah, I'm talking about the LA one, and of course, they wouldn't let me DJ there, but maybe go watch Harold Knight at that theater. It's good. Yeah, is there a particular team that you enjoy over there? There's a team I'm liking this team called Yikes, and the person on this team called My.

She seems pretty cool. My Darmone. And she has an Instagram. admittedly, the name is spelled a little different. It's spelled like May, like the month. Oh, like that month that comes right after April and before June that I heard about. That's correct. So it's like at May Dalmont, even though her name is my.

Don't forget. Okay. Sounds like a very interesting person, though. And a good team. Yikes. Now, who am I talking to you right now? Is it Craig or is it the other guy? It's Craig.

It's Craig. Thank you. Do you have anything you want to plug? Akerman? I do have something... Of comedy bang, bang, bang. Thank you. I do have something to plug. Okay, well, then please plug it by all means. I will be roaming the streets of Los Angeles in Mark Messier's body until I find Anthony

Keadis of the red hot chili peppers. Is that who you're trying to transfer into? I will be transferring into the body of Anthony Keatis. Is because you missed the long hair that Michael landed? had is that although i i can't imagine well your hair does grow after you die right so i i would imagine michael and hair hair and fingernails and under shirts oh i will be going into the body of anthony kiatus if you can find him i will roam the streets until i find him okay do where do you what neighborhoods are you looking uh you looking under the bridge maybe or under the bridge downtown

That's where I will draw some blood Oh Under the bridge Wait are you Are you planning on killing him? I will There is a little blood With the chip in

Going into the Rear ends It's impossible to avoid Sure Yeah Just one one tip Before you jump into his body I get like let him eat some in and out

Or like take him to If you can take him to lunch first Can I just hear in and out Wait are you guys going on? Are you doing an order? Let me jump on that order No we're not No, we're not or double double animal style.

Come on, come on, come on, come on. No, it's not happening. I've only heard about it. I've never had it. No, I'm sorry, but your body is on its way out the door the minute that we press stop on this. Wait, what's going to happen? What's he going to do? I mean, he's going to be roaming the street looking for Anthony Keatis's body.

You got to warn Anthony Keatis. I don't have access to him. Don't warn him. Yeah. Maybe I'll be free. Yeah, but wait, are you a RHCP fan? Oh, right out of Chetabberg? Yeah.

Yeah, huge. Maybe I'll take over. I don't think that's going to be how it works. Oh, I don't know. But who knows what could happen? I mean, the next time you come back, if you're the lead singer of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, then I would be happy to have you back.

I've always wanted to hear their songs really slow. And shouted. Meanwhile, asking for double doubles in between every verse. Oh, no, okay, Craig's back. I appreciate it. Do you have anything you're going to plug or is that it? I will be roaming the streets. Okay, yeah, you're going to be roaming the streets.

All right. I'm going to go on to my plugs. that's all right. Is that okay? Look, we're on the Comedy Bang Bang Tour right now as we speak. Paul F. Tompkins, myself, in a group of rotating Comedy Bang Bang. All-Stars are out there in a town, hopefully near you. And if we are not coming to a town near you, then just pack up all of your belongings, say goodbye to your loved ones, and move out to wherever we are. But you can find all of the ticket links for those shows at CBBWorld.com slash tour. Also, you can listen to all of those shows. If you are a Maximus subscriber at CBB World, we post them the day after we do

them. And so, and then we're building all the way up to our big LA show, September 19th at the Orphium here in L.A., and we're going to have a lot of special guests on that. So make sure you get all of those. And while you're over there at CBB World, you know, become a subscriber because we have so much stuff going on. We have the ad-free archives of this show. We have every live episode we've ever done. We have The Neighborhood Listen. We have Scott hasn't seen where I go watch movies that I haven't seen before. So much going on over there. All right, let's close up the old plug bag.

I want to open tweet chat's ass. I want to split split tweet chat's ass. All right. That was nine-inch plugs by Burnswee. That was great. Thank you so much to Bernswee. And speaking of a thank you, I want to thank you. I want to thank our guests, Aaron.

So wonderful to have you back here on the show. It's so nice to be back. Thanks for having me. I would love it if you were to enter the Sixth Timers Club at some point. Yes. I know you need something else to promote, so it'll be a little while, but I would love to have you back. I'll promote my social. Remember that year you were here twice in a year?

My phone. Remember the good old days? The good old days. 2011. I'll come back anytime. I'm back next week. Okay. We'd love to see you.

And DJ Dead Poulson. So wonderful to. Thank you. Thank you for having me. party person. Have you been, have you put out any feelers to Gelson's while we've been sitting here? You sent a resume over or anything? I sent them my resume. I faxed it. I fixed it. Fingers crossed. You faxed it. I used your fax. Is that okay? There's that, there's that 69 years old coming in. Yeah, that's not a fax machine, actually. That's my bird feeder. You're telling me the bird feeder is not the fax machine.

I'm telling you the bird feeder is not the fax machine. Yeah, I'm afraid you're going to have to go, actually, deliver this in person or email it do you have email no maybe your granddaughter could you know set it up for you or childless and happy what's that childless and happy oh okay but what about granddaughter uh well actually i do have a couple grandchildren okay good and then um uh who am i talking to you Craig Craig Craig thank you you're welcome I guess Accombing of comedy bang-bang. So nice to have you. And Mark, if you're in there,

thank you for coming by. I just want to go home. I want to get a double-double. Then I want to go home. Call your kids, okay? Let me do that right now. Yeah, go ahead. While you're here, yeah.

Yeah, let me go. Yeah. Hold on, hold on. Okay, we're so close to the end of the show. I know. You want me to hold on while you're here. Hold on. Hold on, hold on, all, all, all, all, all.

All right. All right, he's calling the number. She didn't pick up. Do you think it's maybe because you've been like a deadbeat dad for the last year? How dare you? How dare you? I've been kidnapped inside my own body. Deadbeat dad.

By the way, your body was not actually dialing the phone. We're imagining you were doing that in your own head because you have your phone inside your body, right? Well, now that I'm conscious I'm using Craig's body. I'm using my body that Craig had. So I'm using Craig's phone. Oh, that's why they didn't pick up because I'm using. You're using Craig's phone. They just think a weirdo is Craig's phone.

Of course. Hit it. Craig's phone. Craig's phone. Craig's phone. Craig's phone. Craig's phone. Craig's phone.

Craig's phone. Craig's. Hit it. Phone. Thank you. Got it. All right. We'll see you next time.

Thanks. Bye.