Comedy of the Week - Call Jonathan Pie

Episode Date: April 7, 2025

The first four episodes of Call Jonathan Pie series 2 are now available on BBC Sounds, subscribe to be alerted when new episodes in the series are released.Frustrated call-show host Jonathan Pie is back along with his trusted team – Pie’s finding the daily grind difficult and the team have all become as disillusioned with the world as he has. The new series kicks off with a discussion about the BBC licence fee, or at least it was supposed to. It soon becomes clear however that Pie must answer for past mistakes. Call Jonathan Pie is written and performed by Tom Walker. With additional material by Nick Revell and Daniel Abelson Jules ….. Lucy Pearman Sam ….. Aqib Khan Roger ….. Nick Revell. The callers; Adam Byron, Laura Shavin, Daniel Abelson, Sarah Gabriel and Ed KearProducers Alison Vernon-Smith and Julian Mayers A Yada-Yada Audio Production for BBC Radio 4

BBC Sounds music radio podcasts. There is very strong language throughout this programme. The internal combustion engine certainly, laterally the internet and perhaps looking forward to the potential positives and pitfalls of artificial intelligence. But surely for me it's the atomic bomb that has since its invention. For me it's the dishwasher, I think. Er, sorry? The best invention, the dishwasher.

There's a cupboard in my house that you can stuff full of all the dirty plates and saucepans and forks and the cat litter tray sometimes and you come back an hour later, it's all clean. I'm talking more anthropologically. It's progress, isn't it? When I was a kid we hired our television from radio rentals. Yes kids, you rented your telly. It was so expensive. But now these appliances are, you know, they're affordable. It's progress.

Well I suppose you can measure progress. Although do you use dishwasher salt? You do need it, particularly in hard water areas. Traditionally of course. I ran out of dishwasher salt once and it was an emergency so I used a big bag of pink Himalayan rock bathing salts Which my mother later told me cost her 23 pounds. I don't know why she thought I'd want it She's never been good at birthday presents my mother although. I will say the results were fantastic cutlery gleaming Thanks, Martin. Sorry, dr. Colin, senior professor at Dr Martin. Boots. And the thing with the guy from Men Behaving Badly. You know, Dr Martin. Anyway, Dr Martin there.

Senior professor at one of the Oxbridges. Terrible at presents, my mother. Nearly out of time. Tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow with the BBC Charter up for review. We'll be talking about the BBC's place in an ever-changing broadcasting world. Get your calls in anyway. That's it. If you've got something to say, call Jonathan Pye. Back tomorrow. Oh, oh, hang on. I misread the clock. I've got another 58 seconds.

Um, so, let's have a quick fact of the day. Did you know? Give us a fact, Jules. You've got 51 seconds to fill. Yeah, that might well be a fact, but that's not exactly what I was after. I was thinking more, I don't know, cats are the best. You know, kilogram for kilogram, cats are the most, you know, I don't know, I can't think of a fact. Stained glass windows are, you know, kilogram for kilogram, cats are the most, I don't know, I can't think of a fact. Stained glass windows are, you know, something, I don't know, a fact. Let's think of a fact! Could be a new segment. Sam's got one. Sam, my man, give us a fact. A mule

is made when a donkey has sex with a horse. Yeah, I knew that. Then why didn't you say it? I didn't think of it. But who's who in that scenario? Who's daddy, who's mummy? The horse or the donkey? Who's got the cock?

Penis? Sorry. I'm being told we're out of time. Save it for another day. Got something to say? Call Jonathan Pye. Good night. And we're out.

Sorry about the horse, cocks and donkey dicks. Erm, I thought that was alright. Lost it at the end a bit, but erm... Thanks for tripping in guys. Can I get a small pile of fun facts for when that happens again? Like we did for the American, you know... An hour and fifty-five of barely concealed indifference. You might as well have been doing some knitting for our engaged you were.

An hour fifty-five of knitting. followed by five minutes of car crash broadcasting that would make Richard Maitley blush. I thought it was alright. You sounded bored. Well, yes, but you know, I got away with it. Got away with it? This is the BBC! Well, yeah, exactly.

Is that all you want to be? Just alright, Jonathan Pye? He's okay, I guess. I used to quite like Jonathan Pye, but now he seems bored. Can I just make an observation? Your heart's not really in it anymore, is it? Not really, no. I've lost my mojo, Jules. We haven't had a Conservative government for quite a while now and I've run out of chat. When the Tories were in power it was easy,

but now what is there to talk about? Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump. I can't just talk about Trump until we get a Tory government again. There's plenty to have a go at Labour for. Well, yeah, you know, not ready yet, really. I'm not ready. I feel like I've got a new boyfriend but he's started acting weird. But I don't want to be single and I definitely don't want to go back to my previous boyfriend because he actually used to hit me. So, you know, I'm just sort of biding my time, seeing what happens. What? I'm not ready to break up with

Labour yet. Why do you think of Labour as a boyfriend and not a girlfriend? I don't know I've I always think of Labour as sort of a big burly man, a hot miner or something. So what can we do to make you less shit? I don't know I've hit a wall I'm treading water I'm insert third idiom here maybe it's time you's time for me to roll the dice. Contracts up in a few months finally. What? You're leaving? Wouldn't that be lovely? No, let's be honest, I ain't getting off this gravy train anytime soon because this is good gravy. Made with a decent stock with bits in it. But I can

shake things up a bit. Contracts up, right? Get a few more bunts. Up my expenses allowance, line my pockets with a bit more of the licence fee payers cash. So it's just about the money, is it? Plus I'm going to try and negotiate one duvet day a month for when the black dog comes and visits and I just want to drink Dr Pepper in my pants whilst watching old episodes of Quantum Leap. No, but it's time to make some changes, you're right. You could get a new producer, then everyone would be happy. Apart from your new producer. Okay, listen, I agree.

You've got a bit stale, you're shtick, the entire Jonathan Pie brand, it's getting boring. All right, I am bored though, Jules. What about me? Originally, I was meant to babysit you for one night, then it was two nights, then four, two years later, I'm still bloody here. I've gone nowhere.

I was going somewhere and now... I'm not. I want to be doing something else as well Jonathan. Something a bit more fun and cutting edge. Like what? TV! I don't know, like floor manager on The One Show. Floor manager on The One Show? Yes! Why not? That is a good gig actually, The One Show. Isn't it?

I'd fucking love to do The One Show. The One Show lot, they're in the pub with Giles Brandreth by 8.30, spending the evening trying to shut Giles Brandreth up for two fucking seconds. But we're not in the pub by 8.30 trying to shut Giles Brandreth up for two fucking seconds, we're stuck here doing this shit night after night. Right, let's make some changes then, OK? Yeah, let's make some changes. OK, right, tomorrow, let's have a meeting, let's get Roger along. Christ, is he not dead yet? Let's have a think.

Yes. Let's add some spice. Yes, yes. Mix it up a bit. Mix it up a bit, yes. Let's put our heads together and make cool Jonathan Pie. Let's make cool Jonathan Pie. Not the dullest thing on the BBC. Yes, let's make cool Jonathan Pie not the dullest thing on the BBC.

Done. Got something to say? Call Jonathan Pye. So I for one won't watch it. But whatever you do, don't give your hard-earned income to children in need. It's a waste of money. Just donate to a local children's charity, not one associated with the BBC. And your TV licence can be cancelled in one phone call, just so you know.

It's not the law. One phone call and it's over then you can heat your home and feed your kids while cancelling paedophiles. Right. Children in need well they certainly will be if they go anywhere near anyone working for the BBC. Okay thanks for your call and once again we appear to have gone a bit off topic but next caller so let's talk a little bit about the license fee okay if the BBC isn't full of paedophiles then I'll come on the front of the BBC headquarters broadcasting house I'll come as a statue of an old man cuddling a naked boy with his little willy hanging out I know where this is going statue an old man cuddling a little boy with his little willy hanging out that was sculpted yeah by a

paedophile yeah an incestuous paedophile who also liked to have sex with dogs. What does that say about the BBC that they're happy to have it there? Well listen, I work in this building and trust me no one in this building is glad it's there. It would make all of our lives a lot easier if it wasn't. And for those of you listening let me explain. On the front of of broadcasting house is a statue Which was sculpted by the artist Eric Gill who it turned out was a paedophile an incestuous paedophile Yeah, you also had sex with dogs. Yeah, I'd love to be able to say that last bit isn't true But it is true. He had sex with his daughter who was a child and had sex with a dog

Although I'm not sure the age of the dog. And the statue is still there! Yes it is. And at the front of the headquarters of a corporation that has shielded several... Shielded? Is that fair? I think it's fair to say shielded. Several people in recent years guilty of or strongly suspected of or with legal proceedings still underway of appalling sexually abusive behaviour. And there's a statue at the front of a man cuddling a little boy with his little willy hanging out. OK, OK, first of all it's actually a statue of Prospero and Ariel from The Tempest, but that's not really much of an argument as Eric Gill could easily have made a sculpture of

Prospero and Ariel from The Tempest without Ariel having his little willy hanging out. But I don't think it's fair to say that the fact that the Gill sculpture is still there is some totemic endorsement of sexually abusive behaviour, and I don't think toppling the statue will change systemic issues and abuses of power, or senior management's historically feeble response when people come forward and complain about it. Likewise, toppling Edward Colston didn't stop racism. But you need to change the culture, not smash the sculpture... with a hammer. You at the BBC still allowing that statue to stand are complicit,

or at least apologists for sexual abuse and paedophilia, and I for one will never pay my licence fee again. And anyone who works at the BBC is also complicit in the rape of children and people like you need to take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror. OK, let me ask you this. Do you own a computer? Yeah.

You ever written an email or a Word document? Yes. Well the font you wrote it in is likely either Times New Roman or Gil Sans. And do you know who designed the Gil Sans font? I'll give you a clue. It's the same incestuous paedophilic dog shagger that made the sculpture on the front of the building I am broadcasting from right now. So perhaps you need to go and take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror.

Now let's try and move on and talk more broadly about the BBC funding model. Now some say the licence fee should be abolished, others that it should be paid out of more traditional taxation. But anyway, over to the phones. You're Jonathan Pye, right? Yes, yes. Pye, spelled P-I-E, right? Yeah.

You know what Pye stands for? Fearless Integrity? The Pedophile Information Exchange. P-I-E. Yeah, yeah, I get this a lot on Twitter, mainly. The Pedophile Information Exchange. P-I-E. It was a British pro-pedophile activist group in the 70s and 80s that campaigned for the abolition of the age of consent.

And you think, because my surname is the acronym of the paedophile information exchange that I must be a paedophile? No, no, I think because your surname is the acronym of the paedophile information exchange and you work at the BBC you must be a paedophile, or at least you must have known. What? You must have known. Must have known what? You know, come on, don't play silly folks, you know what I'm talking about, Hugh Edwards.

I must have known what was on Hugh Edwards' phone, right? Yeah, exactly. I saw you on Twitter defending the guy, standing up for his right to privacy. Yeah, I did defend him. I defended him very publicly, up until the point it was made known that he had been arrested for a terrible crime and that he was in fact an A1 bastard. You must have known. Why would I defend him if I knew what he'd been up to?

Beed-o. How could I have known what was on his phone? Beedle. What? Beedle. This is relentless. Listen, listen. When I defended Hugh Edwards, how could I have known?

Listen, I'm just going to say it. Jimmy Savile, that knight of the realm with the tracksuit and the jewellery, the guy that invited children to write to him asking him for favours, kind of like if Santa Claus had dressed as a New York pimp from the 80s. We all spotted him, right? We could all see Jimmy Savile for what he was, as soon as it was obvious what he was, but up until that point, I mean, if we didn't spot him, then how the hell are we supposed to know who's a wrong-un and who isn't? Look, tonight we're talking about the BBC and a debate about the BBC's place in an ever-changing world, but obviously there's a lot of calls.

Whenever the BBC is mentioned, a lot of calls about Hugh Edwards, Hobbs, Savile – he's evergreen, isn't he? Still an occasional bit of glitter. Surprisingly few calls about the former TV zoologist Adam Britten, who was recently jailed for shagging dogs. Greg Wallace got more headlines than that guy for, you know, just being Greg Wallace. Who else have we got? Philip Schofield, which is unfair because he committed no crime. That was more an abuse of power really, wasn't it? And it's also unfair because that was

ITV. Although he did start at the BBC, Philip Schofield, didn't he? In the groom cupboard. Broom cupboard! Sorry. My point is, yes, there have been a lot of arseholes who have walked these corridors and you're right to be angry, it's your licence fee, but after the break can we please, let's get back on track and talk about the licence fee. Fiona Bruce's salary! It's astronomical! Get calling. Now the news. We're out. Oh, fuck me. Right, it's astronomical. Get calling. Now the news. We're out.

Oh, fuck me. Here you go, mate. Thank you. Why are there so many pedos at the BBC? It's not that many. It's not like we're the Catholic Church or the Anglican Church. It's just a handful over the decades, you know, once every few years. There's another one from years back.

I can't remember his name. What was his bloody name? Knock, knock. Hey, Roger, you haven't been listening in, have you? God no. Oh good, good. How is it? Yeah, yeah, good. Can we do this meeting now, do you think? We've only got four minutes. Well, that's enough, isn't it? What do you want to do? Reinvent the wheel. Now, you want to make some changes. Yes, so, right, so I was thinking... A rebrand? New photo for the website? No, not a rebrand, actual changes, not changes to the font. A bit of a shake-up, I hear you. No, no, no, I get it. So, right, so I was thinking just a few changes with the format really, nothing crazy.

I was thinking, what about changing... Got something to say? Call Jonathan Pye to... Call Jonathan Pye. No stone unturned. Yeah, but that's branding again. I actually quite like that. Okay, so we changed the tagline. Call Jonathan Pye. No stone unturned.

Excellent. What else? OK, so right. So I was thinking maybe a regular in-depth interview maybe once a week. Or at least a few more guests in the studio. OK, OK. That's OK.

There are no bad ideas. Right. Yeah, and maybe some sort of, I don't know, a regular feature. Something a bit more serious. You know? I mean, I was thinking. Ah, yes, yes.

Great. Let's just freewheel a moment. Regular wine tasting, car maintenance, golfing tips. You really have got your finger on the pulse, haven't you, Roger? Golfing tips? When have you ever seen me not glaze over when you're discussing golf?

Although I do quite like the wine tasting idea. How about I do one show a week completely fucking shit-faced? Right, this is going nowhere, Jules. Roger, thanks for popping in. Okay, okay, come on. This is what I'm good at. Ideas, okay? Let's think. Let's open the Pandora's box of ideas and only close it again when we've got something good. You can't close Pandora's box, Roger. That's the issue with Pandora's

box. You shouldn't go near Pandora's box. It's a fucking growler. What about a regular section about dogs? Oh, Christ. Dogs? And cats? Pets? Show a bit more of your sweet side. Have you ever seen Pi here when he meets a dog? He goes all mushy. I'm not meant to be sweet, Roger. I'm meant to be Jonathan Pi, fearless reporter. I'm not presenting Animal Hospital.

What's Animal Hospital? A BBC primetime family show about pets. Presented by Rolf Harris. Yes! Another one. He was a child sex offender. Another one? Pets with Pi. Pie, pets, pets. Right, I think, Roger, Jonathan is looking for something a bit more, you know, solid to get his teeth into. So perhaps Jonathan and I, as producer, can come up with some ideas and present them to you another time. Anyway, we're back on, so I think this is

TBC this meeting. TB, TB, TB continued. Nice. Bloody producers, eh? They think they own the place. They think they're the most important people in the building. She can still hear you, Roger. Oh, are these mics on? What does the BBC do, Roger? It makes programmes.

Who makes the programmes, Roger? Producers. And we're treated like we don't know what we're doing by people who have never made a programme in their life. And radio producers are at the bottom of the pile. It balls my fucking piss. Jules, Jules, forgive me. It was just me letting off steam. You're absolutely right. Fucking five, four, three, two, one.

OK, we're back. On the line we've got Marion from Fishcross in Clackmanshire. Is your call by any chance about the terribly outdated antiquated anachronistic license fee? Well I was gonna talk about how awful it is those letters they send out threatening people who don't pay their license fee. Brilliant! But seeing as we're talking quite a lot about sex offenders... No no no no no we were talking about the BBC. Exactly. I mean let's take Greg Wallace. I don't care that Greg Wallace allegedly makes unwanted innuendos or talks inappropriately about his sex life. So what? I don't care

about Greg Wallace because, you know, this behaviour is everywhere. There are Greg Wallace's in every office, every factory, but we don't get to hear about this because the papers don't care that Craig from accounts is a bit of a perv or Harry in the warehouse sometimes gets his dick out for a laugh. No one cares. We only really care if the person is famous. And as a society, we're more interested in the celebrity side of it than the abuse itself. Sure, OK, but if greater scrutiny of our public figures means that people who aren't in the public eye have more of a voice… Yes, but the press is only interested when the story is titillating.

Oh, naughty vikers, oh, fallen celebs. We find it titillating, rather than being outraged, that we live in a society that routinely accepts the death of one woman in the UK a week at her partner's hands. 40% of women report experiencing unwanted sexual behaviours at work. It is everywhere. And where are the headlines about that?

Yeah, good point. Great call there. Thanks for your call. So, er, time for one more call. Should we abolish the licence fee? Peter from Netherstowe, go ahead. So I just wanted to call in and say, cos something really important just occurred to me, that you defended Hugh Edwards which meant you were PEDO! Jonathan Pye is is a pedo lover! Are you the same guy as before mate? No, pedo! Hugh Edwards, Jimmy Savile, Jonathan Pye, Stu Hall... Okay we cut him off there although I think he was about to mention another one was it Stu... Stu who? Anyway please let's please for the love of God let's finish tonight's show talking about something anything other than paedophiles at the BBC

Let's take a look at the weekend weather followed by traffic and travel Christ you make one tiny little mistake like defending a sex offender and they never let you forget it I said at the time defending him would come back to bite you on the cock. Thanks Jules It's easy to forget. No one knew what was going on when these allegations from the Sun first came out. When that story broke the BBC just imploded. Yes I remember I was here. You had BBC presenter Jeremy Vine being interviewed outside the BBC telling a BBC reporter that the BBC presenter in question should come forward before entering the BBC to present his own

BBC show. It was carnage. It's all so gross. What? The whole show tonight just throwing around the word pedo for a laugh. There are real victims to these crimes, you know. Jimmy Sabell is not a punchline. He's a monster. And it's so fucking predictable that it would be someone like you defending it. Defending what? Someone like me? Hang on, what's that supposed to mean? Some pasty middle-aged libertarian divorcee defending a man's right to swap illegal underage pictures. I did not defend his right to do that. That's deeply unfair,

Jules. I defended his right to go on Grindr and shag a consenting adult behind his wife's back if that's the way he wants to live his life. Oh, because that's fine. No, it's not fine. It's not very nice behaviour, but you have the right to do it. But at the time… At the time what? Yes, I stuck my head above the parapet before all the facts were in. Yes, and trust me, I am reminded about that mistake daily on Twitter, which some might think is punishment enough.

But I made a mistake. I gave someone the benefit of the doubt that in hindsight, I shouldn't have, all right? I stupidly thought that Hugh Edwards was just an in the closet homosexual, but as it turns out, he was a serial liar, a groomer of young, vulnerable men with some seriously nasty shit on his phone. But I made a mistake.

That doesn't make me a pedophile. Okay, okay, sorry. And by the way, earlier when I said a hot minor, I meant minor someone who goes down the mine, not minor someone who is underage. You've got to be so careful these days. It's a precarious time to be a public figure. One word out adjoint.

Someone makes a complaint about me. I am up shit creek without any transferable skills. It's terrifying. What if I'm next, Jules? What if they decide to get rid of me next? Why would they get rid of you? I don't know! Have you committed any sex crimes?

Err, I'm terrible at kindlingus. Oh I see, no, no. Do you have any compromising photos on your phone? No. And you're not a bully? Apart from to me! Yeah but I also buy you a lot of Nando's so it all pans out. Fair enough. And as a woman, I can tell you, you're not a misogynist outside the normal acceptable

parameters of the patriarchal bollocks. You're occasionally unpleasant to be around, but again, within acceptable parameters. I do still have a picture of my ex-wife's tits. Does that count as... Grace. Right. I thought tonight's episode was going to be a nice leisurely look at the ridiculously outmoded model of the licence fee. Yeah, so did I. Maybe with a couple of calls about bullying it strictly. Yeah, so did I. But this bloody pedo nonsense, we have a reputation to uphold. A reputation? Are you

joking? Working for the BBC, I can tell you, I've seen traffic wardens get more respect. Listen, not to put too fine a point on it, after the Hugh Edwards scandal, the BBC has reputational issues that we need to address. The BBC has reputational issues to deal with yes after the Hugh Edwards what about my reputation Roger the BBC has reputational issues what about mine I stood up for that man I publicly said I was there on Twitter what you get up to behind closed doors is nobody's business I didn't think at the time I had to add the caveat as long as it's not wanking to pictures of children pedo ped lover, pedo apologist, you know how many times a day I see that on my Twitter feed?

Every fucking day. I'm in Sainsbury's with my son the other day and suddenly the thought occurred to me, what if people think he's my boyfriend? The shit I get for working at the BBC, the national broadcaster, it used to be a badge of honour, now it's just a badge with the words nonce written on it. I stood up for that man and you, my employer, have done nothing to protect me and to protect my colleagues.

I was still standing up for that man when people higher up the pecking order in this very building knew that he had been arrested for something very, very serious. You hung me and every person in this newsroom out to dry. Every single person in this building embarrassed to work here. You need to wind your neck in, young man. Or what? Or what? You'll fire me like you didn't Hugh Edwards? I'm just being a bit shouty, roundy, and sweary. Check my phone, though.

Not a single selfie of my arse. You hung us out to dry. I bloody didn't. I knew as much as you did. And we're the ones, all your little BBC minions, who have to face the public and take all the shit! When I go to industry drinks, everyone who doesn't work at the BBC, they're like, Oh, how is it? Like I've just found a fucking lump or something.

And when I'm out on the street, people just shout, PEDO, to my face! So what do you want me to do about it? A bit of danger money. More generous with the bunts. It's contracts time, Roger. Well, yes, your contract is up at the end of the month. Your comments have been noted and I'm sure a renegotiation will be appropriate. More money and the occasional duvet day or I'm walking. Should I stay or should I go? Well as soon as your contract's up you're more than welcome to go wherever you like.

Oh well I er... But I'm sure that a renegotiation of your salary and paid leave will be discussed. Boom-ya-kasha! So, a renegotiation on the cards. Bit of a shake-up format-wise for your show. Jules, you'll take the reins on that, obviously, as we discussed earlier. And a new tagline! Call Jonathan Pye.

No stone unturned. Now, get out there, do your job, and sell the BBC. Sell that licence fee like you're selling timeshares in Benidorm in the 1980s. Sell it! Remind the ungrateful little turds that we provide a solemn service to inform, educate and entertain the nation, nay the world. Yeah, if you listen to the protoplasm that is the great British public who call into this show, Roger, they're not informed, they're incapable of being educated and entertain, have you heard the show?

Entertain unlikely, but you know, I'll do my best. Send it to them! This is the BBC, the jewel in the British broadcasting crown. Now take that glittering jewel and shove it down their fucking throats! Thanks Roger! Pay rise! We're back! It's called Jonathan Pye, no turd unstoned. So the BBC, look, here's the thing, quite a few paedophiles, I accept that, but if you take a look at the BBC World Service for example, I mean that is globally respected and trusted. You can go to a tribe in the depths of the Amazon and say Great Britain to them and they'll say Princess Diana, the

BBC World Service and Greg's The Baker. The BBC World Service, it's importance at the heart of the UK's diplomatic soft power cannot be un- So that's a news service, a weather service, entertainment, music, current affairs, sport, drama, BBC Bitesize helping your kids pass their exams, royal births, deaths and marriages, Time Lords and Fleabags from Monty Don to Monty Python with Graham Norton via Albert Square and the Blue Peter Garden. Does the financial model need modernisation? Sure, but trust me you'd miss old Auntie if she was gone and if

nothing else you'd miss my dulcet tones. That's it for tonight, you've been listening to call Jonathan Pye, no turd unstoned. I've done it again. But good night. I was that close to being sick. That was so cloyingly saccharine. I thank you. You're very easily bought, aren't you? For the right price. You know what I was thinking?

What about? All these men being sex twats at work. Go on then. What pearls of wisdom have you picked up from Russell the born-again tattooed sex Jesus? You shouldn't bunch them all together. You shouldn't put Philip Schofield with Jimmy Savile. It's not the same thing. Yeah, fair enough. Here's what I think, right?

There are degrees of severity to every crime. There's levels. The go-compare guy losing his career because he made a joke about wanting a spit roast is not the same as Hugh Edwards losing his career for having pictures on his phone of nasty kiddie shit which isn't the same as the person who took them photos and so on. There are degrees of severity to every crime. Good point, well made. Shouting, get your knockers out love, is not the same as actually squeezing her knockers.

I think a better analogy would be saying a wolf whistle is comparable to sexual abuse is like someone with a heavy cold telling a cancer patient I know exactly how you feel Yeah and it's not like people are growing old sloppy ladies arses anymore No they're not are they? Oh well thank you gentlemen, your insights into the matter are about as welcome as Bill Cosby at a Me Too rally Women are being patronised and looked at and oh golden, sexualised all the time Knockers! Of course

What? It's a Knock Out, there's another one What's It's a Knockout, there's another one. What's It's a Knockout? It's a Knockout is a silly Saturday night fun for all the family BBC game show presented by yet another child sex offender. What was his name? Err... Stuart Hall. Yes!

Another one! Another one! They're everywhere! They're everywhere! Hello, Russell Kane here. I used to love British history, be proud of it. Henry VIII, Queen Victoria, massive fan of stand-up comedians, obviously, Bill Hicks, Richard Pryor, that

has become much more challenging, for I am the host of BBC Radio 4's Evil Genius, the show where we take heroes and villains from history and try to work out were they evil or genius. Do not catch up on BBC Sounds by searching evil genius if you don't want to see your heroes destroyed. But if like me you quite enjoy it, have a little search. Listen to Evil Genius with me, Russell Kane. Go to BBC Sounds and have your world destroyed.