Comedy of the Week - Fatiha El-Ghorri: A Match Made Inshallah

Episode Date: February 16, 2026

A Match Made Inshallah is a fearless, funny show where the 44-year-old, twice-divorced stand-up comedian Fatiha El-Ghorri is looking for love and ready to date - and she wants us all to be her wingman.Mixing stand-up, commentary, and the actual date itself, we will hear Fatiha’s deepest thoughts, hopes, dreams, and judgements as we join her every step of the way through the dating minefield.Written and Performed by Fatiha El-Ghorri Producer: Laura Grimshaw Executive Producers: Jon Holmes and Carrie RoseAn unusual production for BBC Radio 4

Hi, I'm Fatia El-Gori and this is a match made, inshallah. It's a part stand-up show, part actual date, sort of a fly on the wall, then gossip with your friends about it afterwards kind of thing. Do you know what I mean? And you, dear listener, are my bestie. So I'm going to tell you how this date was and I'm going to tell you what dating is. Dating is a minefield man. And it's even more of a minefield when you're me,

a 44-year-old, twice-divorced Muslim woman with actual stand-old. So yeah, I'm looking for love, but I ain't doing it on their apps no more. This is 2026 people. Come on. I'm changing things up. I'm doing it on radio. Yep, that's right. I'm going to find my man through the bloody BBC.

And I'm going to go on a date with him, and I'm going to record it for you all to listen to, with his consent, obviously. This ain't a kink show. Relax. And then I'm going to tell you all about it in my natural habitat in front of a stand-up comedy crowd. Ooi. Dating is the... worst. If they're not ghosting you, they're still in love with their ex, or they're looking

for something casual, even though it says on their bloody profile that they're looking for something serious, okay? Or they have a whole ass wife sitting at home watching EastEnders. What? What? You know it's true. So when I was going into this date, I was just going with the mindset of like, this is just going to be another one to add to all the hell knows, you know, and I'm on the verge of like, bloody joining a convent. Maybe not a convent, you know. know, because they probably wouldn't let me in. By the way, I've got hearts on my hijab. See, the things I do for you, Prince.

Together, we're going to try and work out all this dating and love nonsense, okay? And maybe, just maybe, we will have a match made, inshallah. Insha'u'llah means God willing, just let you know there. All those people going for their phones and dialing nana. So let's do this properly. Here is my audio dating profile. My name's Fatiyah. I'm a stand-up comedian. I'm 44. I'm 5'8 and I'm a Muslim, British, North African Arab. I'd like to meet a guy that's age-appropriate, a Muslim man who is a gentleman, a man who's respectful, honest, thoughtful, kind and I want to share his life, his dreams, his struggles, and I want to be

able to share mine with him too. Oh, blimey. I have more chance of winning the bloody lottery than getting what I want. But let's hear from my date. Here's his audio dating profile. My name is Tarek. I'm 44 years old.

I'm 5'7, Sunni Muslim, British, Lebanese and I work in the food and drinks industry. I would like to meet a woman who is decent, kind, gets what I do, and someone who makes me laugh. Ooh, good voice. Like, I'm decent, I'm kind, I'm a comedian,

Oh, besties, this is a positive start, do you know what I mean? So listen, as I speak to you now, today is the day of the date. Like I'm actually at the station, like right now, about to go and meet him. And we've decided to do that classic first date thing of going to a pizza place. A pizza place that I'm expressly unable to talk about on the BBC. Do you know what I'm saying? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. I'm outside the restaurant now, and I'm about to go in.

But first, I'm sneaking. I'm looking a look through the window, and there is only one guy in there on his own. Loser, I'm joking. That's him. That must be Tarrick. Not going to lie, he looks like a white guy. Oh man, I need to talk about this on stage. So listen, I've actually gone on a date and recorded it.

So, his name is Tariq. Okay, that's how he's saying in Arabic. Tarik. You're white, Tawik. Are you cats later from EastEnders, bro? It's Tarek. You don't use your froats when you're... talking so you end up butchering Arab names.

He looked quite different to what you might expect of like a Middle East and man. You got blue eyes in it? I do. Guys, you can't get nothing past me. He had a fair complexure and blue eyes, hello alien, and you could pass for a white dude basically. When I was growing up, like my maternal side of the family,

they were all in America and my dad's side they were kind of all over. Saudi Arabia and Lebanon. Is that your heritage, Lebanese? Both your parents? Both of them, yeah. But yeah, there's like a bit of Syrian bit of Egyptian, stuff like that. Oh, nice.

For you? Thank God he's not a white dude. I've never dated a white dude, right? I've seen the film get out. Okay? Ain't no way. Okay? I'm not stupid.

So now let's get to the next most important question, which is, what does he do for work? I just want to feed people. Well, well, well. You just happen to be in luck, mister, because I is a girl that loves to eat. What was your nine to five? What was that job?

Do you know what me ask? Yeah, no, of course. A man that asks questions. Excuse me. Excuse me. I'm having angerism. Honestly, I've been on dates before where the men never ask questions.

They're too busy talking about their selves. Sometimes I speak Arabic to them and then they go, oh yeah, yeah, that was great anyway. Do you know what I mean? One time I was on a date with this. And I said to him, I have a candle in my shoe, right? And he was like, oh my god, that's amazing. So, as I was saying, this guy, he was asking me questions back.

He was listening. He was interested as well as interesting. Do you know what I'm saying? I'm, mm. That's right, you carry on with those. Mmm. Yes. So I told him, this is the truth.

I told him what I did for work. I used to work in a university. and I loved it because I loved helping people. Me and him matched in that way, like he liked feeding people. I liked helping people. Like, hello, guys, that's got hairy bikers written all over. Hello, we need our own TV show, please.

The title still works. We've got North African, Arab, Middle East and blood, and that equals hair. We have lots of hair. Our platelets are made of hair. I like to travel to the Middle East. When I go to the airport, on both sides, Like racism and then reverse racism.

I was a white guy have this name. And I'll say, where are you from? And I'll say, well, clearly I'm British. Because I've got a British passport. They're like, yeah, with the name like Tarek, Eliafi. Oh my God, guys. Okay, so far, we both love food. We share a culture.

He's asking questions and listening. And we both experience racism. Tick, tick, tick. Be still my fluttering hijack. So although we had a lot of things in common and things that were similar, I still wanted to know his type. And I wanted to know if it could be me. People like, what's your type? I'm like, woman.

I hate men, the answer like that. Honestly, if the producer wasn't there, I would have knocked him out. I swear to you. You go, what's your type? They go, I don't have a type. It's all vibes. Yeah, why are you lying? And I know it's a lie because I saw this online video, and there was a petite girl when she had like three trays of food, like chips, burgers and donuts.

And she ate them all, right? And there was all these guys in the comments going, I love a girl that can eat. I love a girl that can eat. So I come in the comments and I was like, hello. And then they go, not like that. It's a liberty, isn't it?

So I didn't like that vague answer. So I asked him if he dated in his ethnic group and if he dated non-Arabs as well. And he said to me he does because he's family's mixed. My mum was sort of raised Catholic, but my dad was more sort of Sunni Muslim. But, you know, we grew up with, like, candles. You know, my mom loves a candle.

Oh, my God, guys. I've got a candle in my shoe. She is going to love me. From talking to Tariq, I felt like he was open-minded, and for him it was more about the connection. But I wanted to know what he was looking for in a partner. As a kid, I was like very much. very insecure, right?

So it was just always to be like, I think the first girl that touched my hand and were going to marry her. You lot are terrible. You not are trying to ruin my life. Listen, keep your ass to yourself.

I've already touched his hand. Back up. So when you're on a date, also, you always talk about, you know, the classic, what's your worst date? And boy, oh boy, did Tarrick have stories. I realized, about 10 minutes in,

This was a recruitment date. No. Astagh for allah! Astagh for Allah! Basically right, he met this girl on a night out and then they met like a few days later or whatever and then she tried to recruit him. This girl's smart man, she's like stealing my ideas literally.

You know what I'm saying? Surprise! Thank you for coming to the new to Islam meeting. He also told me another story that started with... I once got... I got down naked in the balcony. Who is this guy? Who is this guy? He also told me another story.

You'll be glad to know this was the last one, but I think this was the worst. She's a business. I'm sorry. Say what? When he said this, right, I thought it was some kind of fetish thing, yeah? Like, you know how people marry trees

and walls and buildings? And I thought, shit, this geezer's thing is businesses. I didn't know. But it turns out, yeah, basically, he went on a date with this girl and it was going really well, and they were seeing each other quite a bit and stuff like that. And then it turns out she was a bloody escort. Yeah, exactly. And she asked him for 10K a month.

Oh, no. There's me thinking, I've had really bad dates, yeah. Like, my worst date, I went on a date with this guy, and it was a coffee date. And at the end of it, he said to me, we've had a good time, do you want to get something to eat? And I said to him, okay. And then he went into his backpack and pulled out a pack lunchbox. I swear to God.

I swear. And he goes to me, this is my lunch from today. I didn't eat out. What? Do you want to share it? You know, I know, I picked up a phone and I called 999. Okay?

And I said, please can you attend? Because there's been a murder. So that's my worst thing. But I think he's blown me out of the water. What the hell? With all this bad luck, all these shitty days, I wanted to know if Tariq had hope. for the future, hope for love, hope for relationships.

Doesn't matter what the hell is going on the world. You can have a shitter state. And he looked like a child and the wonderment that they have and whatever. And you're like, there is still magic in the world. And it is not just because they're a child. It is everywhere you have to do it for. And the world is fun. So, yeah, I am very hopeful.

He's so polite and so thoughtful and engaged in our conversation. And he was genuinely interested in me as a person, like getting to know me. It was all positive. And I know you lot, a little note. mozy bitches, okay? And you wanna know if you went on a second date, well, it turns out, Tarek is here tonight. Now, this is actually our second day.

And then our third one, we're getting married. So we're gonna bring him out now and chat to him. Please welcome, Tari. So tell us, why did we not go on a second date? The reason why we didn't go on a second date is because I have something to confess to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I have a wife waiting at home who's right to be assembled. Oh, no, guys, I'm sorry. I'm still single. And if you want to date me, get in touch, yeah? But please be aware that my producer will be the third wheel. For a Radio 4 show. And I will record it and write loads of jokes about you. So, yeah, if that's the kind of stuff you're into, then get in touch. A match made, inshallah, was written and performed by me, Fatia El-Gauri.

It was produced by Laura Grimshaw, and it was an unusual production for BBC Radio 4. I'm Eleni Jones. And I'm Mark Kermode, and in screenshot, we guide you through the ever-changing landscape of the moving image. I really like any story about self-delusion. My intent is to allow the audience to see the shining through these people's eyes. Meeting those on both sides of the camera. And uncovering fascinating insights into what we watch. How would you describe the difference between the doppelganger and the clone?

Why is it such a cinematic subject? What was your relationship like with your double? Screenshot from BBC Radio 4. Listen now on BBC Sounds.