Comedy of the Week - ReincarNathan

Episode Date: February 17, 2025

Nathan Blakely was a popstar. But he was useless, died, and was reincarnated. The comedy about Nathan’s adventures in the afterlife returns for a fourth and final series, starring Daniel Rigby, Ashley McGuire, Freya Parker and Henry Paker.In this first episode of the final trilogy, Nathan is brought back to life as a rat in a London sewer. As usual, Nathan has a mission to complete - this time he needs to save an abandoned terrapin who's lost in the sewers from the clutches of a disgruntled crocodile. And Nathan also has his own demons to battle - can he come to terms with the failed pop career he had as a human?Cast: Ashley McGuire - Carol Daniel Rigby – Nathan Henry Paker - Terry the Terrapin Freya Parker - Crocodile Tom Crowley - Music ManagerWriters: Tom Craine and Henry Paker Producer: Harriet Jaine Sound: Jerry Peal Music Composed by: Phil LepherdA Talkback production for BBC Radio 4

BBC Sounds Music Radio Podcasts Welcome to the final adventures of Nathan Blakely, a one-time pop star best described as dead. Like many humans, Nathan didn't really smash life the first time round, so now he's being tested as an animal. His actions are judged by a celestial panel, Mahatma Gandhi, Florence Nightingale and David Bowie. No pressure. So if Nathan ever wants to make it out of this mess, he's going to have to achieve amazing things. I'm Carol, his spiritual liaison officer, and this is Reincarnate. All things in life must end. I'm sure you've heard that before. Your ex probably said something

similar when they dumped you on WhatsApp. Well it's the same in the afterlife too. All things in death must also end. And after being reincarnated into 2465 animal forms, our hero Nathan has now arrived at his final three lives. Three lives to prove he deserves a place in Elysium where eternal joy awaits. But if he fails his soul will be recycled and turned into the essential oils they try to sell you after a massage. The first of those three lives is nearly over. For the past year Nathan has been a tiny limpid stuck to a damp rock in Guernsey, which is about as much fun as it sounds.

You can't move, you can't see and all you've got for company is your internal monologue muttering things like, actually why did they leave me? Was it because they weren't emotionally mature enough to deal with someone with my level of athlete's foot? The whole ordeal strips away your personality, bringing out your deepest, darkest emotions. So I dread to think what state Nathan's going to be in. Let's pop him out and see, shall we? Hello Nathan. Carol, namaste. What a lovely surprise. You're an unexpectedly chipper for someone who's essentially a bogey in a hat.

I've never been better, Carol. But you're a limpid. Has that not been awful? Well, yes. Initially I had some angry thoughts, but then I accepted them for what they are. Just thoughts. I could no more control them than I could control the waves. Oh, how convenient. You've had a huge spiritual breakthrough just before they decide whether you get into Elysium or not. Hey, seagull! Gobble him up and let's get this show on the road.

It never gets any easier does it? We begin our next adventure with a journey into the pulsating heart of London's glittering central London. Home to some of this proud nation's greatest creations, M&M World, that massive Burger King and Mamma Mia. As the interval begins, theatregoers queue for satsuki flavored ice cream while others pile into cramped toilets and I'm afraid that's where we're going and we're not stopping there. Hold your nose! Because we're going round the U-bend, down the pipes, past the Roman ruins, past the tube trains, past Andrew Lloyd Webber's secret bunker, down, down into the Victorian sewers, where it's dark, wet, cold, and unfathomably stinky.

Suitable for only the most loathsome and wretched of creatures. So absolutely perfect for Nathan, who this time has taken the form of a rat. How's it going Nathan? Still feeling zen. I watched the floaters come and go, and I accept them for what they are, just floaters. Well, that one's not. It's singing. Hey, it's a terrapin.

What's a terrapin doing down here? Oh, why did they flush me down the toilet? To live my life in lonely misery? And make me cry because I know it's too late To escape these pipes and once again be free? Hi there! No, don't look at me. I am a monster.

No, you're not. All living things are beautiful. What's your name, buddy? I have no name, for I'm a monster. No you're not. All living things are beautiful. What's your name, buddy? I have no name, for I am a foul beast. Why, did you throw me down the toy? I've heard the song, but I bring good news, little terrapin. I'm going to save you and get you out of this hellhole, and that's a promise.

Oh, you are so kind to take pity on me. You are a true hero, noble and wise and... Oh, please stop. I mean, not instantly. And magnanimous, but also you're not arrogant with it. Did you hear that, Carol? Kind, heroic. Yeah, funny you're suddenly being a massive legend just before your big Elysium assessment, you little rat. You need to stop being so cynical, my friend. Now, can you help me get this terrapin out of here?

Well, yes, but it won't be easy. The London Sewer Network is a giant maze full of dead ends and ends that wish they were dead because of the stink. But you do have two things going for you. Go on. One, you're a rat. You're one of nature's great swimmers.

I'm like a tiny unwaxed Michael Phelps. And two, I have a detailed map of the sewer network. I call it Pugel Maps. No? Nothing? See for yourself. Currently, you're deep in the Victorian section of the sewers, designed by one Joseph Bazalgette in 1860. It does have some lovely original features. It's just a pity they're all covered in-

First, you must escape the Victorian zone by risking your life to swim against the flow to reach the funnel chamber. And if you make it there, I'll tell you what lies in store next. Okay, Terrapin. Are you ready for the adventure of a lifetime? Okay. First, we need to swim against the flow. So follow me! Yeah! Oh, okay, here I come! That's it. Now paddle. Oh, the current so strong. I don't

know if I can do this. Of course you can. You were born to swim. Not really. I'm basically a paperweight with a pulse. Keep paddling. I'm trying but I'm getting tired. I've only got small, I don't know what we'd even call these things. Hands? I guess. Although they're nothing to write home about, which is a blessing as I doubt you could grip a pen. Although, wait a second, you could probably grip my tail. Oh, that's a good idea.

That's it. Up you go. Oh, hey. Oh, look at me. It's like I'm water skiing on raw sewage. So it's basically like I'm water skiing anywhere in Britain. Because of the state on raw sewage. So it's basically like a water skiing anywhere in Britain Because of the state of the sewage I know I get it, I get it

We're gonna make it Yes, swim faster rat poy Okay, bit rude Yeah, rat poy Funnel chamber incoming in 3... 2... 1... What a ride! That was unreal. Quick thing though, my name's not Rat Boy, it's Nathan.

Noted. I think I'm ready to tell you my name now. Oh, lovely. Green Vengeance. That's an interesting name. Who called you that? I called myself that. Because when you get me out of here, I'm going to find the Cooper family who flushed me down the toilet. And I'm going to wreak a terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible vengeance on them. By which I mean a really good vengeance from my point of view, but terrible for the Vengees. What can you do? Leave a damp patch on the sofa?

Oh don't worry, I have my methods. I've been planning it for three long years. I just never thought I'd actually get the chance to do it. But thanks to you, Nathan, my little rat boy, I now will. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Caro, I think we need to cancel the mission. You can't. You've made a solemn promise. You can't go back on your word. The panel will hate that.

That terrapin is unhinged. Oh, I know. He's so far off his hinges he's been upcycled and turned into a coffee table. Why didn't you tell me? If I get this terrapin out of here, I'm going to be an accessory to something awful. And that is exactly why the panel made you cross paths with Green Vengeance. So you can rescue him from the sewer. And from himself.

Oh I'm going to do more than just rescue him from this sewer. I'm going to rescue him from himself. I literally just said that. Right you are, crack on. Okay, according to Pugel, there are three remaining stages to this journey. First, you must travel through the Tunnel of the Crocodile. Doesn't sound ideal. Don't worry, I think it's just a cool name.

Although I'd probably keep the noise down just in case. Second, you will need to skirt around the Orb of Doom. Just another cool name, right? Oh no, that definitely exists. It's London's biggest fatberg, and you do not want to go anywhere near it. Oh dear. And then finally, you'll reach the mega pipe junction, where the Terrapin will have a choice,

to take the pipe that leads to the Cooper family and bitter revenge, or the pipe that leads to his salvation, in the form of a sweet little girl called Sue, who's desperate for a pet and has a keen interest in semi-aquatic reptiles. Right, so if I can persuade him to choose Sue, I'm halfway to a lyceum.

Yep. But if he chooses the other pipe. You're halfway to being turned into some smelly oil and massaged into a stressed mum's bum. Good luck. Bum. Good luck. ["The Last Supper"] Nathan climbed out of the sewage and onto a soggy milk carton

before grabbing a rotting lolly stick that was floating past and creating his own smelly gondola. A pong-dola. Ha. Oh, I'm wasted in this job. Ah! Ah! Ah! Jump on board board Green Vengeance.

Give me your, what are we calling them, hands? Flippers? I'm calling them mini meat paddles. And from there they started punting along into the tunnel of the crocodile. Now, let's keep our voices down. There could be danger here. Well luckily Green Vengeance knows no fear. Yeah, I'm sure it's just that this place is called the Tunnel of the Crocodile. But at the same time, you can't be too careful. But as they progressed, the surface remained still, with no sign of a croc.

And so, they started to relax. If and when we get out of here, do you think rather than reeking a terrible vengeance, it might be nice to reek something more positive? Not really how reeking works. I don't know, maybe you could reek a new friendship? Maybe hypothetically with someone called Sue? That's weirdly specific. Well imagine how nice it would be if Sue was cleaning your tummy with a toothbrush.

It would be humiliating. Humiliating, but delightfully tickly. Delightfully tickly and would undeniably do great numbers on Instagram, but still humiliating. Look, I just think you need to reframe the pet owner dynamic. Oh, that's easy for you to say. You've never felt that you were the centre of the whole universe. And then just being tossed aside. Actually, I have. Oh, come off it. You're a rat. To be tossed aside, someone would have to be able to pick you up in the first place without gagging.

I wasn't always a rat. I was once a pop star. But there's no point going back there. Because the only thing that's real is the present moment. Which is why we are going to do some mindfulness. Oh brilliant, I've always wanted to never give that a go. Okay little terrapin. Green vengeance. Green vengeance.

Green vengeance. Close your eyes. Tell me about any thoughts you're having. I'm having the thought that you're a div. Just a feeling. Let it float by. I'm remembering feeling warm. When Mr Cooper let me sit on his knee in the garden. Just a memory. Let it float by.

Now little Jimmy Cooper's stroking me. Feels nice. Now he's saying I'm a bit slimy and putting his knee in the garden. Just a memory. Let it float by. Now little Jimmy Cooper's stroking me. Feels nice. Now he's saying I'm a bit slimy and putting me back in the tank. Watch it float by. It's Christmas Day, they've dressed me up as a Brussels sprout. And now they're opening a box. Something fluffy's jumping out. Ah, it's a little kitten. Wait a minute. I was too slimy so they've got a kitten instead. That thought is supposed to have floated by.

You're not supposed to add the thoughts together and deduce things! Okay, okay. It's New Year's Day. Mr and Mrs Cooper are on the sofa having a conversation about whether they can afford to buy a multi-level cat activity centre with a velour penthouse. Okay, let's keep the pace up. Moving on. They decide they can afford it, but they'll have to either cancel Netflix... or...

Hang on a second! You're supposed to let the thoughts float by! You need to get your mental plumbing sorted, mate! The Coopers flushed me down the toilet so they could keep Netflix! Right, no more memories! Let's get back into the present moment. I can't! All the memories have built up and congealed like a... FAT BAG! Oh, gross! GAG! Oh gross, what is that thing? Oh well, by the look of it, mainly nappies, wet wipes and non-flushable cat litter.

Cat litter? Oh the irony! Get your mind out of the past. Remember the only thing that's real is the present. But the present makes me want to gag, it's got a fatberg in it. Yep, fair point. In that case you'd better focus on the future and what you can do when you get out of here. Well, I tell you what, you've actually helped me change my mind about that. Brilliant! Yeah, my previous plan was to wreak my vengeance on the Coopers by de-alphabitising their spice cupboard.

Oh, right. I thought you had something worse in mind, if I'm honest. Oh, well I do now. Because now I've decided that I'm going to kill the Coopers! Ha ha ha! What? Yes! How? I'm gonna kill them! I don't know yet, but I'm Green Vengeance! And Green Vengeance always finds a way!

Er... I tell you what, I'm just gonna kill them. I'm not gonna kill them. I'm gonna alphabetise their body parts. Keep it down! Yeah! Ankle...buttock cheeks... Shh! Seriously! Cheeks... You're beingck cheeks, cheeks, duodenum, elbows. Oh, it's going to be a right laugh. Nice one.

You've roused the crocodile! The gloopy, viscous river parted and up rose a hideous, carbuncle green giant from the deep. No! Carol, I thought it was just a name. So did I. Their milk carton raft was ripped in two and they plunged down into the malodorous murk, leaving them with nowhere to go. On one side stood the Fatberg, on the other, nine foot of pure malevolence. Now, prepare to die, rat! And you too! Hang on!

Are you a semi-aquatic reptile? Er, hang on, yes, that's me, yes, yes, yes I am. Snap! Same here! What's your name? Er, the name's Green Vengeance. Nice. I'm Green Pocalypse. Ah, that's a really cool name, mate. Why don't you go for a crocalypse?

I mean, it was sitting right there, open goal. Shut your rat face. What's happening? Are you doing a special handshake? You wouldn't understand. It's a semi-aquatic reptile thing. So what brings you to these parts? Well, I'm on a mission to swim up the toilet pipe

of my previous owners and wreak a terrible revenge on them. No way! I did the same thing to my owner a few years ago. Are you serious? Yeah. way! I did the same thing to my owner a few years ago. Are you serious? Yeah, yeah I did, yeah. They got bored of me when I was a tiny crocodile and they chucked me in the loo and pulled the chain. Then they pulled the chain again and again. I was quite big. Sounds really undignified.

It was, yeah. Especially when they got the plunger involved. Eventually I went down and then I swam around the sewers for a few years, mainly feeding on rats. Good to know. I got big. I got angry. And then I got even. Now that family aren't bald anymore. Because they're not alive anymore. Awesome!

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's amazing. And how did it feel? It felt so good. Cos they're not alive anymore! Ha ha! Awesome! Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's amazing. And how did it feel? It felt so good. But weirdly, also left me feeling kind of empty. You see, revenge won't make you happy. What will make you happy is making a new friend. You know what? You've finally said something I agree with.

And I think I've found one. Oh, thank you. At last. I'm talking about Green Pocalypse. How would you fancy becoming my revenge buddy? You could be exactly what I need. Oh, it would be my honour. You could nibble at their ankles and I could bite their heads off. I love it. And after that, if we start to feel empty inside or whatever,

we can just take out more revenge on more different humans. We'll pop up through toilets and just massacre people at random. We could be known as the Toilet Terrors. I love it! Or the Bog Brothers. Nathan had become an unwitting part in the origin story of the most evil semi-aquatic duo since Godzilla teamed up with a really unpleasant otter called Keith. He had to think fast.

I hate to interrupt this delightful bonding moment, but, uh, Croc, I think there's something behind you. Oh really? Uh, yeah, oh, all right, all I'm seeing is a dark tunnel, am I looking for something specific or? In a flash, Nathan grabbed one of the terrapin's little feet between his jaws and yanked him away from the crocodile before flipping him over and using him as a surfboard.

Woohoo! Haha! In a while, crocodile! This is really humiliating! I'm pointless! before flipping him over and using him as a surfboard. Woohoo! Whoa! In a while, crocodile! This is really humiliating! I'm pointless! I'm not worth a dime! Wrong. There is one place. You wouldn't. He wouldn't?

He would. Fatberg! Ahh! Nathan surfed the upturned terrapin straight through the wobbly walls of the Orb of Doom. They fell, they tumbled, they squelched, tossed and turned in the grotty accumulation of slop that was London's biggest fatberg. And then they started to roll, tossing them round and round in what was essentially the opposite of a

washing machine, a dirtying machine, sorry I thought that would sound better, until eventually they came to a clammy, clumpy, claggy halt. Oh, you've ruined everything Nathan, we're going to be stuck in this disgusting fatberg forever now. Well, maybe that's no bad thing At least in here, you can't go around murdering people. Don't you judge me You've never had someone look in your eyes say you're their whole world and then just flush you away. Yes I have I don't believe you

It was a long long time ago and I had my first ever meeting with a music manager and I had my first ever meeting with a music manager. Nathan Blakely. Look around this room. What do you see? I see gold records, platinum records, Grammys, a guitar signed by Eric Clapton, a lute signed by Shakka Khan. Legends, Nathan. Musical legends that I have been lucky enough to work with. Impressive, Mr. Frobisher. Call me Roger. Nathan, while I was having my second jacuzzi of the day this morning,

I listened to your demo tape. And it was so good that I cancelled all my remaining jacuzzis for the rest of the day, except for the one I'm having now, obviously. Because I knew I'd found another legend. Gosh, I don't know what to say. You don't have what to say. You don't have to say anything. Just sign this contract.

I'm not sure. This all feels a bit too good to be true. Do you know who I was on the phone to just before you walked in here? The boffins at the Hubble Space Centre. Why's that? To inform them that Sagittarius A is no longer the central star in our galaxy. There's a new one. Nathan Blakely. Really? That's very nice, but a bit over the top. Also if you sign today I can offer you bottomless free frazzles for life.

Wow, I do love frazzles but I think I should probably read the contract through before I sign anything. Look, I know what's going on here. You don't want glitzy stunts. You want a career based on real relationships and mutual trust That's what I want you to know I see this company as a family That's great That is what I've always wanted and that's why to swing the deal I've hired Tom Cruise to dress up as a giant frazzle come in Tom do it Nathan sign the contract. I'm signing I'm signing you won't regret. You won't regret it, Nathan. This industry can be tough,

but I'm gonna look after you forever, Nathan. Forever, Nathan. Forever, Nathan. Why are you doing that? Just in case this becomes the end of an important memory at some point. Fair enough, as you were. Forever, Nathan. Forever, Nathan. Forever, Nathan. Forever, Nathan.

So you were the darling of the music industry, and now you're just a... Rat in a fatberg. It's a story as old as time. So you do know what it's like to have everything and then be thrown away. Like a used wet wipe tossed down the toilet when really I should have been... Disposed of in the correct bin. No, I should have been a wet wipe that went on to have a long and successful music career. So, why aren't you all twisted and angry? Why aren't you like me?

Because I was a limpid for a year and I learned that I don't need anyone else to give me validity. And I don't need the Coopers. Exactly! I'm enough. And when you know that, that's when you're ready to let someone else in. Someone like that lovely little girl I told you about. Sue! You know what, she did sound great.

And the fact that she's into semi-aquatic reptiles really makes me think we might have got on. Shame you'll never meet her now. Because we're stuck in a fatberg. Yeah, because we're stuck in a fatberg. What's happening? We're moving towards the light. Is this the end?

It might be, Green Vengeance. You know what? I've gone off that name. Call me Terry. Goodbye, Terry. Goodbye, Nathan. Goodbye, Terry. But it wasn't the end. It was the beginning of the Thames Tideway Tunnel,

London's shiny new five billion pound sewer network. 15 and a half miles long and wide enough to accommodate two buses, although they'd have to be very lost. Whoa, the fat leg! It's being broken up. Please remain still while you are hosed down. Ooh!

That's lovely! They've thought of everything! Oh, missed a bit! Hosing complete. Soon, the rat and the terrapin were so clean you could eat your dinner off them. Although, assuming you own plates, that would be an insane decision. They walked the final mile to the mega Pipe Junction and the big decision. So which pipe will it be, Terry? The pipe that leads to the Koopas and your dreams of revenge?

Or the one that leads to Sue? I think we both know which one you're going to choose. Yeah, but I just need a second. You haven't really got a second. Why not? Because look who's back! Traitor! You've let down semi-aquatic reptiles everywhere! Prepare to feel the

furious teeth of great apocalypse! Jump! Now Terry, Sue's waiting for you! I can't! I'm scared I'll be rejected again! There's only one thing you should be scared of, that massive crocodile! The beast was upon them, all hope was lost, and then Nathan did it. Yeah! He made the ultimate sacrifice and jumped into the open mouth of the beast. And as he tumbled down its throat he called out, Terry, do it! Be a pet again! Allow yourself to be emotionally vulnerable!

Okay Nathan, I'm coming to you soon! And so, Terry threw himself into the pipe, sloshing through the spiralling plumbing out of central London and on beneath miles of suburban pavement until he emerged in the downstairs loo of a two up, two down in Serbton. Woohoo! And into the hands of young Sue. Dad! I found a new friend! Oh great, yeah. Maybe give him a little rinse first? And as for Nathan,

well it turns out it's hard to swallow a rat if you don't chew it first. So the crocodile coughed him up. Urgh! Urgh! Urgh! Whoa! Urgh! Urgh!

He bounced off the wall and into a random pipe, before swirling through the system and popping up in a toilet bowl in Chelsea. He heaved up the lid. That's heavy, because it's made of solid gold. Blimey, someone's doing all right. Where am I? Platinum records on the walls? A loot signed by Shaka Khan?

I've been here before. Oh no, it's all coming back to me. Come in, Norman. It's Nathan. Why haven't you returned my calls? Sorry, I've been jacuzzi'd up to the eyeballs. Look how pruned my fingertips are. The thing is, I've recorded some ideas for a new album,

and I really think you should have a listen. Your sound. It's not what people want anymore. Then I can change it. Look around this room, Nigel. What do I see? Legends. I know this speech. No. This is a different speech. What don't you see? I don't see... You. There's no you. There's no Norman Bratwurst.

It's Nathan Blakely and you said you were going to make me a star. Some of the stars in the sky look like they're still there, but they actually died years ago. What are you saying? I'm saying you're fired, Nicholas Biltong. What? Will I at least continue to receive my free frazzles? Here, it's in my contract.

Ha-ha, contract? No, I'm afraid not. The small print states that this contract becomes null and void the moment it's torn up and flushed down the toilet Always wondered why you had a plumbed toilet next to your desk. It's just so handy It's signed by Elvis by the way last thing he ever did Nathan the rat sat on the golden toilet seat weighing up his options They say you only go to your manager's office three times. Once on the way up, once on the way down, and once when you're wreaking your revenge.

Oh, something's biting my leg! There's a rat in my office! Takes one to know one! Oh, dirty rat, get off! Take that! No, Nathan, I thought you dealt with your anger issues. Nah, I was just pretending because I wanted to get into Elysium. Oh, my shins! My precious, precious shins! I need a weapon! Ah!

Kristerberg's Grammy, perfect! And the Grammy goes to this rat! Can I get someone to accept it on my behalf? The manager raised the Grammy to deliver the killer blow and then the toilet practically exploded! And what came out was an extraordinary sight! Oh, it's a crocodile with a terrapin set on his head! I'm Green Pocalypse. Say hello to my little friend. I'm Green Vengeance, and together we are... Toilet-mageddon! Terry, what the hell happened with Sue?

Oh, she got bored and flushed me down the toilet within 30 seconds. Fastest rejection of all time. Why are we all talking when there's vengeance to wreak? Yeah, let's get him guys! Yeah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààà Oh no, not the shins! Green Pocolith, go for his head! You ain't gotta tell me twice! No, not the head! Back to the shins! Back to the shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii i Tom Crowley, Freya Parker, Tom Crane

and Henry Packer. It was written by Tom Crane and Henry Packer. Music by Phil Leppard and sound design by Jerry Peel. The producer was Harriet Jane and it was a Talkback Thames production for the BBC. Hello, Greg Jenner here. I am the host of You're Dead To Me from BBC Radio 4. We are the comedy show that takes history seriously and then laughs at it and we're back for a brand new series, series 9, where we're covering all sorts of things from Aristotle to the legend of King Arthur to the history of coffee to the reign of Catherine of Medici

of France. We are looking at the Arts and Crafts movement and the life of Sojourner Truth and how cuneiform writing systems worked in the Bronze Age. Loads of different stuff, it's a fantastic series, it's funny, we get great historians, we get great comedians, so if you want to listen to You're Dead to Me, listen first on BBC Sounds.