Comedy of the Week - Scott Bennett: Blood Sugar Baby

Episode Date: November 10, 2025

Scott Bennett: Blood Sugar Baby tells the amazing true story of Scott and Jemma Bennett’s infant daughter Olivia and her battle with a rare genetic condition, how she was nearly fatally misdiagnosed and how Scott challenged the hospital to improve their care - by taking his dad’s advice to “Put a tie on”.First-time parents Scott and Jemma are taken from the apparently idyllic world of having a new-born baby who sleeps through the night and suddenly plunged into months of misguided treatments, genetics, bizarre side effects and private jets.Recorded in Scott and Jemma’s home town of Nottingham - where the real-life story began - this is an emotional show about a critically ill baby but it’s also a really funny one with a happy and hopeful ending.Written and Performed by Scott BennettProduced by Ben WalkerA DLT Entertainment production for BBC Radio 4

Ladies and gentlemen, please, welcome to the stage, Mr. Scott Bennett. Thank you so much, Nottingham. It's lovely to see you all. Thank you for being here. I'm Scott Bennett, and it's so lovely to do this story tonight here in Nottingham. It's a very special place for me, as Nottingham, because it's where this story happened. So I'm invested in this place, and not just emotionally. Tonight, I've parked in the NCP car park.

Can I have a minute's silence for my wallet, please? It's not a great start to your evening when you know that your car is on a better hourly rate than you are. But what's interesting about this show is it wasn't my idea, right? It was my manager's idea to do this show. He says, you've got this incredible story about your daughter's rare blood sugar condition. I think you should tell it.

I said, I don't know, mate. I'm worried, you know. It was quite a traumatic time. I'm worried about opening up those old scars, you know. He said, I think we can get a book deal out of that. I said, let's do it, man. I want a Radio 4 special by Christmas. Because there is money in misery, Nottingham.

The other thing is, this was a long time ago. This was 15 years ago, and there's enough distance there. And there's a happy ending, Sue, you can all relax, okay? Yes. Someone said to me the night, why did you tell us there was a happy ending, Scott? Because I'm not a psychopath. Imagine if I keep you lovely people here for the best part of half an hour.

And then at the end, just going, yeah, sorry, she didn't make it. Thanks for listening. Does anyone want to buy some merch? Anyone want to rent a spare room? Anyone? Now, some of you pulled back on that joke. Listen, you're going to have to come with me on this. There are jokes in this show.

That's how we cope with life, isn't it? That's the catharsis. You can't take everything seriously. It's how I cope 15 years ago, and it's how I cope. cope now. Because, you know, lives a teenager. She's 15 years old. She's fine. Well, well, not fine. She's annoying. You know. She does that thing that all teenagers do now. She wanders around with one earphone in. Have you seen this? She wanders around just mumbling to herself. I don't want to be out with these. She always walks a hundred yards behind us,

like she's undercover. Do you know how sinister it is to be tailed by your own daughter? My wife Gemma's like, she might be radicalised. She might be part of her cell I said I doubt it Terrorism requires commitment I think you're forgetting This is a kid who backed out on the brownies After a taster session

That's not happening She's too lazy for terrorism ISIS should send her back But why we can't work with this thing She doesn't get up till three And being a bit unfair on her She's got a couple of hobbies She's really passionate about

You know she collects cups and bowls from downstairs just stores them under a bed. We love that. It's like an archaeological dig under there. I found Tony Robinson last week doing a time team special. We're down to one bowl, Nottingham.

We are a one bowl family. We just pass it back and forth. There's a roter. Who's got the bowl? She's up there growing bacteria. I'm in the kitchen eating my wheat abics out of a wok. it's not even non-stick you know so she's annoying

that's what I'm saying she's a no she is and I'm so glad I can tell you she's annoying because we nearly lost all that we nearly had it taken away from us it all started so well it really did Olivia was the perfect baby we had the perfect pregnancy

we had the perfect birth and she came out quick she came out like she was in the luge there was a noise like that It was like someone firing the blow dart If you hadn't been for the umbilical cord We'd have never found her again It wasn't at birth

It was a bungee jump, you know The whole thing was done in 28 minutes It's amazing, isn't it? I got outside, I was so emotional, I cried, you know Because I didn't have to pay for the parking I just Just kept the engine running, did laps, you know 12 and half quid she saved her, she knew we were on a budget

But if you're a parent, you'll know that parenting is like a pendulum, isn't it? It swings from moments of exquisite joy to absolute despair, and you've just got to cling on. Because we thought we'd nailed it, we really did. And Liv was 10 weeks old, and we put her down for a nap one day. And when she came round, she was quite listless. She was breathing quite shallow.

She had like a blue tinge around her lips. And I picked her up, put her over my shoulder, and she recovered. And I thought it's just wind. Because at that point, everything's wind, isn't it? People love to tell you that, don't they? She did a smile today. I'm afraid that's wind, ma'am. She did a little giggle.

Oh, it's wind as well, ma'er. Her head spun round 360. She's crawling on the ceiling and reciting her Bible backwards. Oh, that's wind as well, ma'ouse. So we didn't want to be those neurotic parents panicking about everything. So we didn't think anything of it.

We just carried on. And then a week later, right, she did it again. And this time, it was big. It was frightening. Her eyes rolled back into her head. She went really floppy. Her breathing was barely audible. She'd gone blue under her eyes,

blew around her fingers. We were terrified. We panicked. We rang 999, and the paramedic came. And I remember he pricked a heel and he took her blood sugar and he had fear in his eyes, which is never a good sign, is it?

Let's be honest. And he said to me, he said, mate, she is 1.1. I went, oh. Well, at least it's not 1.2, mate. I don't know what he was. I don't know about, but apparently the normal baby's blood sugar range should be between three and five.

So Olivia's 1.1. We're talking critically low. It was a miracle she was even conscious. And he said to me, he said, mate, you should have been looking out for this? I says, well, what are the symptoms of a baby with low blood sugar? He says, well, they can be quite moody and irritable. They haven't met a baby, mate. So we went into hospital, and it was 14 days of chaos.

They never left Olivia alone. They were pricking a heel all the time, checking a blood sugar, feeding of this high-calorie milk that had the texture of bailies that was making a puke. It was like some sort of exorcism. They even checked a prostate at one point. And they took fluid from her spine, right? Now, that was a real gear shift for us as parents.

Because if you can imagine, she's 10 weeks old. She's a tiny little thing, you know. And I'd been trimming my nails so I didn't scratch her. I'd been supporting her head when I held her. And now someone's jabbed a needle in her back. And it felt like it had punctured our perfect. parent in world. And so after 14 days on all

these tests, Liv's sugars had stabilized at around 2.6 and they said to us, it's just transient hypoglycemia. It's nothing to worry about. And they said, go home and be a family, is what they said. And they sent us home with a boot full of that milk, a load of heel prickers,

a blood sugar machine, and a shot of glucose. And they said, if she ever gets low, for whatever reason, give her a shot of this and it'll bring us straight round. And we never used it, you know. On Olivia. I had it one Sunday after an hangover. I still feel bad about that.

Let me tell you, it's shit's on a baroque of that. Honestly, honestly, medical grade. It didn't just clear me hangover. A wallpaper at the back bedroom and ran a marathon. So they sent us home. And we're trying to parent. But we're not parenting. It's crisis management.

We're frightened of Olivia. We don't know what we're dealing with. We're pricking a heel every hour. not sleeping. She's still being sick. It's chaos. And we put it down for a nap a week later. And we preaked a heel. We took her blood sugar and it was 1.4. And we knew. We just knew. We packed our bags and we went into hospital. We didn't emerge for six months. It's brutal. And that's a weird thing, isn't it? When you go into a hospital, your life just pauses. It's like you're trapped behind a pane of glass. Every day I'd look out and I could see real life was still happening.

People were going to work, buses are running and your whole world's just been compressed to the bay of a hospital ward and you start to cling on to the little luxuries. You know, anything that's going to break the day up, isn't it? Because they had a cost of coffee. Costa coffee, in the middle of a hospital. I thought that was a balsy business decision.

Costa had walked in there and gone, these people are broken. These people are desperate. Do you know what else they are? Captive. Bringing the beans, Sergio. So mercenary, isn't it?

And it's not like a normal costa. I'm telling you, the cue for that is just sad. It's just broken people with drips just shuffling. It's like the medication queue in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. One guy had an eye patch on, right? And every day he went up to the counter and the barista said, what can I get you? I felt like saying nothing from the left-hand side of the menu.

Help him out. He's been living off frappes for a month. So we were stuck in hospital and we were doing shifts. Gemma was doing the days and I was doing the nights. And when she left the hospital, I thought Gemma was going home to where we lived. But she couldn't do it. You know, it was too raw.

There was too many reminders for her. And she was going back to her mum and dad's house. And I felt like she was regressing a little bit. She was becoming a child herself. And it was really scary. That moment where you feel like you're losing control. You know, you could lose your daughter. You could lose your marriage.

And I didn't have that option, Nottingham, because my parents live a couple of hours away. And let me tell you something. The idea of me today going home to an empty house. It's bliss, isn't it? It's just, what a moment. The unexpected day to yourself. There's nothing like it.

When your wife texts you going, I'm taking the children out all day. Oh, are you sure? Are you going to manage? And inside you're like, get in! Why don't you go to Thailand? Take the passport. But when something's wrong

It feels weird Like there was a strange energy in that house Because we still have the cards up saying Congratulations on your new baby And there should have been noise But it was silent And so we become institutionalised We weren't a couple anymore

We were just carers in a hospital And the nurses could see that me and Gemma were fragmenting And they said to us one night Look this is going to destroy you Get off this ward Go have a meal We'll look after Olivia I said forget it

We know how busy you people are. We can see it. We've held her little hand for the bars of this cot for months now. Our whole world's in there. She's our first born. We're not leaving. We're not going anywhere.

If it'd have been the second... We'd have been in Webber Spoons, doing Jaeger bombs. Would have been there going free child care. Free child care. They'd have had to ring us. Do you want to collect your daughter?

If it'd have been the third, wouldn't even be in the hospital. She'd be managing that herself with a full fat coke and a bag of Arribo once she... Now, I don't believe in religion. I don't believe in God,

but I do believe in miracle moments and we had one right in the nick of time because the nurses were talking about Olivia on their lunch break. You know, saying like her sugars are up and down, we don't know what's happening. There was a doctor visiting from Manchester Children's Hospital

and she happened to walk past these nurses and she heard them and said, I'm sorry to interrupt. I think I know what this is. She says, I think this is CHI. I think this is congenital hyper-insulinism. Now, what this is the opposite of diabetes. It's very rare. It affects one in 50,000 babies. Sometimes they go a decade without even seeing a single case. And what's happening is, lives little pancreas, is just pumping out insulin all the time, which is causing her blood sugar to plummet.

And so we finally had a diagnosis, but if you've been in hospital, you know, it doesn't necessarily move stuff along. We were still stuck in this ground dog day, We're still pricking a heel. She's still being sick. And the NHS system is so big that if you're passive, you just get caught in it. And I thought I'm going to have to do something. I thought I'm going to have to confront Olivia's doctor.

I'm going to have to step up for my family. And that doesn't come naturally to me, confrontation. I think you need a little bit of aggression. I've not got any of that because I don't come from a confrontational family. My dad never got angry. The only time I knew my dad had something going on was when he would towel dry our hair after bath. time. There's a few

victims in here. Seriously, we could tell what sort of a day my dad had had by how aggressive that towel rub was. 1983 was a tough year because my dad got made redundant and I went bald. It was a tough time.

So I asked my dad for some advice. I said, Dad, I've got to confront this doctor. What shall I do? He said, uh, he said, put his eye on. And that was it, that was, that was far as we got with that. Put a tie on. Such classic dad advice, isn't it?

You want emotional advice, you get practical solutions instead. That's the working class man's way, isn't it? That's how you level up. You're dealing with authority. You put your tie on, that'll fool them. Fool them into thinking you know what you're on about. That's how you do it, isn't it? You're defending a speeding fine in court.

You put a tie on, don't you? You're going for a job interview. You put a tie on, don't you? You're enjoying a bit of auto-erotic asphyxiation while your wife's at work. You're putting your tie on, don't you, pal? So I did. So I took my dad's advice, you know,

and I put my tie on, and I went and spoke to the doctor, and I fought for my daughter, and it worked. It changed everything. I think they realized we weren't going to be a push-over anymore. And things started to happen. You know, they moved us off the ward into a private room so we could get some sleep.

They put us in touch with a specialist unit in Manchester who dealt with CHI and they gave Olivia some drugs to control the insulin in her pancreas. It was a drug called diazoxide and the doctor sat us down and said with diazoxide like many drugs there are some side effects

and were like okay he said she's going to get quite dehydrated fine yeah her heart rate's going to increase okay and he said oh yeah one other thing she's going to get really airy does you what

She's going to get really airy. A doctor said that. A medical man threw out really airy. I lost all confidence in them. Where did you get your degree? Don't castor. What's wrong, would you? Really airy.

That should be in your lexicon, mate. Say folically advantaged. And also, mate, they're in the wrong order. Start with that one, yeah? I don't care if she can't go to the toilet. I want to know if I'm going to be the father to Wolverine. That's what I'm on.

And he says, have you got any questions? I said, obviously. How hairy? Who just accepts that? No, that's fine. We'll wait and see it'll be a nice surprise part. Where are we on the hairy scale?

I mean, are we talking teenage boys' top lip or full tubacca? Where are we? And he wasn't joking. Within two days, just, she had a full perm. She had the dad's eyes, a nana's head.

Vanne been for the pepper big baby grow, I wouldn't have known where the front was. I didn't even need a papoose. I used to just rubber on the mattress. Sicker to be jumper, just... It was quite traumatic, you know, but we did win best in show at Crofts. This is a thing, though,

the diagnosis was bittersweet, because there's two types of this condition, CHI. There's focal and there's diffuse. Now, if you can imagine the pancreas, is shaped like a little chili, okay? Now, focal is like a lesion in there. So if it's in the head of the pancreas, it's behind too many major organs

that can't operate, it's too dangerous. If it's in the tail, they can go in there, they can cut it away, your child's cured. It reverses all the symptoms. If it's diffuse, it's all the way through the pancreas. The only way they can deal with that is a complete pancreatomy, which makes your child a diabetic for life.

Or they control it with medication, which makes you a carer for life. We're facing two very different scenarios. And they said to us, the only way to determine which type Olivia has got is we're going to have to send you for a scan. And there's only two places in the world that can scan a baby's pancreas. There's Berlin in Germany and there's Philadelphia in the United States of America. And when I heard that, I thought, get in. We're going to America, baby.

We're going to get an holiday out of this. I thought I'm going to run up those steps like Rocky did. I'm going to see where the fresh prince was born and raised on the playground where he spent most of his days I thought we'd go in transatlantic and so on the 8th of November 2010 we flew to Berlin but Berlin was a lucky break actually

because my wife Gemma's very clever she's a linguist she's fluent in German and as the audience here in Nottingham can attest tonight I look like one So, it's a powerful combination. So they flew us out to Berlin on a private jet, right? And people are blown away by that and say, Scott, what? Private jet on the NHS.

I was like, yeah, how else are they going to do it? They've had wires coming out of her. We had all this medication. We had doctors. You can't get that on Ryanair. They won't lay you on with a suitcase with wheels. So we walked out across the tarmac to this Learjet. And we get on there.

There's the pilot, the co-pilot. There's the doctor, the nurse, little live in a car seat. There's me and Gemma. We're just about to take off, and the pilot turns to me. He says, oh, we had a shake in here. There's a tray of pastries and a fruit platter under the seats. Help yourself. It was like the Kardashians meets casualty.

And we took off and we flew over Manchester. And I remember I looked out this little window and thought, right down there now, junior doctors are striking overpay. An old lady's been told she can't have a hip. People have been left in hospital corridors. for 30 hours and it's guilt like that

which really takes the edge off your second glass of champagne it really spoiled it for me and the strawberries tasted bitter and I'll be honest the pedicure just felt excessive and so we landed in Berlin

and they whipped us off to the hospital and the morning after was the scam and we'd forgotten this in all the excitement and all the adrenaline this was judgment day our lives were going to change and they took Olivia off us and she went into this machine

and Gemma and I just buckled two hours the scan was and afterwards the doctor came out and he had this folder under his arm and they weren't meant to give us results for two weeks but I think he'd taken a bit of a shine to us and I remember he sat us down and he said it's focal

he said not only is it focal it's right in the tail we can go in we can operate your child's going to be cured and Gemma just burst into tears and so did I once she'd translated for me I'm glad you're laughing

I don't know what was happening you can't tell the difference between sad tears and happy tears they're embracing and I'm in the middle going what what's happening I'm Googling the German for folks But it was true and it changed everything. So we flew back to Manchester with something we didn't have before. We flew back with hope and 200 Marbleau lights for Gemma's mum.

As soon as someone realises, she go in her bra, Get me some siggy! She sent that text before she asked what the results were. So it's important at this point to stop off at the genetics. It's quite interesting. I've got the gene. CHI and it's recessive in me and it should have been cancelled out by the maternal gene from Gemma but for some reason that was silenced and still no one can tell us why but it does prove one thing

doesn't it that's when you know that your wife is truly pissed off with you when even her DNA gives you the silent treatment that is a woman who can hold a grudge isn't it so the operation was scheduled for the 14th the December back in Manchester and the day before we met the surgeon. And let me say this to any dads that are listening. There is no preparation for meeting a man who's about to save your child's life. It's like meeting an Avenger. You feel completely emasculated. And he told us what he was going to do and he made it sound so easy. He was like, I'm just going to go in there. I'm going to cut this lesion away. And what will happen is all the glucose will come rushing down the channel. He said, think of it as unblocking a sink.

I thought, God, I'm useless. I can't even do that. He says she won't need the drugs anymore She could come off the dioxide now He says and all the hair is going to fall out I thought how quickly I've just bought a new Dyson There's nothing in the warranty about mopping up after the Gruffalo every morning

And it struggled Honestly the DC 7 was struggling I had the world's first asthmatic Dyson I could just hear it going so the 14th the December rolls round it's the day of the operation and what was really strange is for some people an operation is terrifying

you know we know this you're nervous about it but for us we were counting down the days we wanted it because it marked the end we wanted someone to cut up Olivia it's so surreal but it marked freedom for us and Olivia was hooked up to a machine which measured her blood sugar in real time and within an hour of the operation it started to

go up her pancreas was calibrating it was like two three four it was like watching the results come in on soccer Saturday and he went all the way up to 14 and the nurse said to me oh look look now she's diabetic I'm right back at the beginning can't you get anything right you people she was like no it's just a diabetic reading there's nothing to worry about and they gave us some insulin of all things and it brought it back down and two days later we were gone. Home. A year of our life just swept away. And it was January 2011. I don't

if you remember, it was that really cold winter. It was like minus 13. And do you remember when I said about real life happening outside the windows? Do you remember that? We didn't know this, but while we've been in hospital, our boiler had gone. Yeah, now I have to leave that because there's a couple of men can't deal with that.

The other night, a bloke just went, whoa, no. It's fine for 25 minutes about a critically ill baby, but As soon as you mentioned, a deceased boiler. There was no trigger warning for that, pal. Gemma's a plumber, right? He'd gone in to check on the house,

and he'd seen there was ice on the inside of the windows. He'd seen the boiler had gone, and he'd got the old boiler out, he'd put a new one in, he'd got it working, never told us. Can you believe it? This is what I'm talking about. This is the tie-on men.

They don't deal in emotions, they deal in practicalities, don't they? Gemma's dad's never told me he'd love me. He's never put his arm round me, but he did fit me a boiler. Which I prefer. So we opened the door and the house is warm.

They've put a Christmas tree up with some presents underneath. Got a fridge full of treats, M&S, well, I've been on a private jet, so. And I'm stood there in the hallway, my family's back together, my daughter's cured, and it just comes out of me.

Just a year of having our fists clenched in stress. And I look, and she's so beautiful. She's... I can't describe. She's just so beautiful. She's a... It's a Worcesterbosch. A Worcesterbosk green star.

What a boiler. I've got some pictures in my wallet. Honestly. Pilot light comes straight on. Fifteen years warranty. Show some emotion, man. We don't just give those boilers away. We were so lucky, though,

because 40% of children with CHI have some sort of new. neurological issues. They have epilepsy. They have learned difficulties. And we got away with it. We felt that we'd really dodged a bullet. We felt really guilty. Because Olivia's got very few side effects. She's got a little bit of a scar across her tummy, you know, and a strong German accent. But we've become very nervy parents. We're those parents we didn't want to be. Every time Liv did a wet fart, we're in A&E. I had the tie on. I was like, who do I need to speak to? but time does heal and six years later we had Sophia

our second child and she's got the gene but it's recessive and the silencing didn't occur with her so she's absolutely fine which is great isn't it it's great it's great yeah it's a bit annoying because I did want to go

to Philadelphia but this is the thing about Olivia she's left a little bit of a legacy it's amazing really she's in textbooks as Olivia they've learned from her Because you know that holding pattern of the heel pricking and the vomiting, they don't do that anymore.

If your child's got a low blood sugar for a sustained period, they deal with it straight away. They get you scanned and they get it dealt with. It's as important now as brain and heart. Some people work all their life to make a difference, you know, but live did it in 10 weeks, slept through most of it, and still found time to grow a terrific beard.

You know, but the thing people always ask me is, you know, what does she think about this show? Is she okay with it? Because consent's really important, isn't it? So I went up to a room and I knocked on a door. I said, darling, I need to ask you something. She says, why are you wearing a tie? I just need to ask you something.

It's really, really important. She went, do you want to borrow the bowl? I might as well while I'm here. I said, look, I'm doing this show about you, right? It's an amazing story. And I just want to know, are you all right with it? She went, yeah, yeah, I get it, yeah. Everything's for sale.

You do what you need to do. And then she looked at me, dead in the eyes, and she went, I want to cut of that book deal, though. And so she should, because it's not my story, it's hers. And thank you so much for listening tonight. You've been amazing. Thank you. Thanks for listening to Olivia's story, Blood Sugar Baby.

It was performed by me, Scott Bennett, and the producer was Ben Walker for Deal, entertainment for BBC Radio 4. Hello, I'm Greg Jenner. I'm the host of You're Dead to Me. We are the comedy show that takes history seriously, and then we laugh at it. And in our latest series, we've covered lots of global history. We've done the American War of Independence. We've done Empress Matilda and the medieval anarchy.

We've done Alexandra Dumas, the French writer, the Kellogg brothers, and their health farm. We looked at the lives of Viking women, Renaissance-era beauty tips. We jumped to 18th century India and also to ancient Alexandria. We looked at the life of Hannibal of Carthage, who fought the Romans, and we've done Mariantoinette, and a big birthday special for Jane Austen. Plus, there's 140 episodes in our back catalogue, so if you want to laugh while you learn, the show's called You're Dead to Me,

and you can find us first on BBC Sounds.