Comedy of the Week - Slim's Guide to Life

Episode Date: March 23, 2026

53 year old Slim looks back on his first proper decade of adulthood.Driving the buses of London in this period leads Slim to reflect on why bus drivers don't get respect. He's also a father of two at this point, and recalls some of his favourite, and least favourite dad duties, and we also hear about his first time in front of an audience.This is the third episode from the series Slim's Guide to Life. For more episodes, search "Stand-Up Specials" on BBC Sounds.Written and performed by Slim Script Edited by David Ajao Production Coordinator: Caroline Barlow Executive Producer: Pete Strauss Recorded at Up The Creek comedy club by Chris Maclean. Sound design by Chris Maclean Music by SlimSlim's Guide to Life is produced by Gwyn Rhys Davies, and is a BBC Studios production for Radio 4.

Hi, my name is Slim. I'm 53. I'm a stand-up comedian and I've been thinking about my life of recent. My kids have bought me a book, a father's guided journal and memory keepsake book. I thought it was something I was supposed to read, but it turns out something I'm supposed to actually fill out. I haven't got time for that nonsense, so I'll just ask them, what do you need to know about me, son? Well, I'm in my twenties now. I just wanted to know what you was like when you was my age. remember that far back? Give me the mic. Yeah, I can remember that far.

Let me explain. When I hit my 20s, I was already a father off two. So I had to get serious, man. And there was no better job to show that than becoming a bus driver. Everybody knows bus drivers are serious. And I drove the buses for 15 years. Right, a long time.

I was actually driving the buses back in 93. You remember cash fees? Do you remember when you had to pay cash on the bus? That's when I started, man. And you get some really rude passengers. You do. Anybody that works with the public knows you get some really nice members of the public

and then he gets some right dickheads. And it's no different for bus drivers. You get the ones who say please and thank you, but then you get a passenger that gets on, throws their money down at you and just stands there looking at me like I'm psychic. Do you know what I mean?

Well, the worst ones were the ones that got on the bus. They throw the money so hard, it slides off the tray and drops in your cab. And I thought that was quite rude because I thought I was quite a polite bus driver. So I used to find that change

and I'd slide it back. I would. And they'd go, ping, ping, ping and drop off the bus. And they always got off the bus to pick it up. As soon as they got off the bus, see you later. See what I mean? I didn't even have to explain what the noise was.

I know it sounds terrible, but bus drivers, you know, we hardly get any respect. And I understand why people don't like bus drivers. Because, you know, there was a time I wasn't a bus driver. You know, you're running for the bus. And you're sure you can get to it before the doors close. but as you reach the doors they're clothes on you

you're bang on the door he looks you in your eyes and then just drive down that one cuts deep I know but I wasn't that kind of bus driver people I weren't

you know in the whole 15 years of me driving my buses I literally never left anybody I saw running for my bus I'd always wait but if you fall over I ain't going to lie, I'm going to laugh I will

It's one of the perks of the job I think the worst fool I ever saw anybody take Running for my bus Would off being I set the picture now, yeah It's one of those grey rainy days in London You know where the rain starts, stop Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop

Stopped raining Like the floor was still soaking wet Now this lady came running from behind me my bus, thinking that I haven't seen her, but I saw her in the wing mirror. I see her, so I was waiting. So she's come trundling along. Now, she's quite a large lady, and she's got two full shopping bags with her as well. Right. Now, her mistake was she pulled up at the bus entrance too quickly. Basically, she tried to make a sudden stop, yeah? Yeah, well, you know, with the wet floor, her swinging

shopping bags plus her weight science kicked in people science kicked in it did got she wobbled yeah slipped on her back and instead of stepping on the bus

she went under the step I mean it I'm not even talking a little way I'm talking up to her chest seriously when I look down and her she looked like a mechanic she did She looked like a mechanic

I mean, I ain't gonna lie. I burst out laughing. I did. I don't mean in her face. Not in her face, you know what I mean? I kind of turned and looked out the driver's window. But she could see my shoulders shaking. She know what was going on.

But I'm a good bus driver, ain't I? I am. So I got out of my cab. And literally I had to hold both her arms to pull her from under my bus. Can you imagine? That messed my mind up for most of the day. It did. Think about it.

Pulling someone from under your vehicle, you never actually knocked her down. That's a madness. As much work as we do, we never get the same respect as, say, aeroplane pilots. Do you know for a few years, I did have a personal beef with them. I did.

I mean, they didn't know about the beef. Seriously, it was one-sided. But I had a personal beef with them because of the amount of respect they got, you know? Like when the plane takes off and lands. Oh, this really pisses me off. That's right. Big round of applause. Like it was a magic trick.

You understand? Like we weren't supposed to land. No man, that's his job. Think about it. Me a bus driver, yeah? Driving buses for 15 years. These bendy streets of London with just my two hands

that if I was to let go of the steering wheel, everybody dead. How about that? So yeah, I was jealously a round of applause. I was. I wanted to be taken serious. to get some of that applause. So it's no surprise,

I became a comedian in my 20s. Let me tell you I got into comedy, yeah. I used to hang around with a comedy duo called Curtis and Ishmael. For those that don't know, they were known from the BBC comedy sketch show, the Royal McCoy, back in the 90s. I met them when the show was at its height.

And we got on, started to hang out, and I began going to comedy shows with them. Eventually they kind of clocked my sense of humour. And you know, they'd start asking me, I mean, you ever tried comedy? You done comedy before? And I always said, no, never even thought about it. I left it there.

Then Curtis and Ishmael split up. And a few months later, Curtis had his first show by himself as a solo artist. So I went down to support him. And just before the break, he jokingly, but also seriously, said, I'm going to put you up, man. go up for a couple of minutes and do a little son. Now, I know Curtis much better now, and I realise he must have been under his liquor

when he said, for real, because I had nothing planned. And yeah, I got nervous, I won't lie. We were heading towards the break, and he said he's putting me on right after. So nerves kicked in. And while I'm thinking, I said, fuck it, I down two double brandies,

then I went outside, had a little Bob Marley special filtered. And yeah, that gave me the courage just to say, fuck it. And after the break, he introduced me on stage. I came out, told them I've never done comedy before. Seriously, I was only up there for like three, four minutes. But it was absolutely nerve-wracking. You got to remember, most comics start their career in front of like five people and maybe a support dog.

Oh, there's a lot of them around now, mate. I started at the Hackney Empire in front of 1,000 people, my first ever gig. And I'll have to admit, I've got a laugh, yeah, and I felt so elated inside that you wouldn't see it, but I was like, you know, felt like I was dancing inside, man. But you see when the laughter died down? I was like, oh, what's next?

Remember, they're looking at me now. I'm looking at them, and I'm looking at them, and I'm panicking it in my head. What do you say? What do you say? What do you say? What do you say? And I just told myself, just tell them the truth, man. So I said to them, look, I ain't going to lie. Just before the break, Curtis told me he's putting me up. So I went out and had two double brandies, and I've had a bit of a Bob Marley special filtered.

They giggled. I said, thank you. My name's Slim, and that was it. So far, so good. But the journey had only just begun. I still had my job on the buses, still feel. figuring out things, and of course, still had daddy duties. I had four by the time I was 28. Two boys and two girls. I will say I was becoming an expert in dealing with their different personalities.

See, girls, they show on more caring side to them. They do. I'm not saying boys don't love you. They just don't show it like daughters. I mean, I'll come on from work, yeah? I'll be starving, ready for my dinner. My daughter's there. She comes running up to me and asks me,

how are you, Dad? You know, I'd say something simple like, I'm all right, darling, a bit starving. Without fail, every time my daughters would do this. I'll feed you, Daddy. Now, they can't touch the proper cooker. But they've got all that plastic shit in their bedroom. Now, if you're dad with daughters, you know what happens next, yeah?

Now, you've got to sit down. At least half an hour drinking tea that ain't there. Yes, my darling, I will have another cup of wind. I know I sound like I'm taking the piss, but me and all my daughters are actually close. And now they're grown, they've actually told me how much they love. That I would sit down and have the little tea party with them and listen to their woes. You see, boys ain't like that. You know if I come on from work and greet my son and do the exact same thing.

My son, how are you, Dad? I'm alright, son, you know, bit tired, bit starving. My son. Me too. Where's Mommy? Cool social services, Dad. This cannot continue. Now you see why I'm team girls and not team boys, even though I love them all equally.

And although I love most, love most of my daddy duties, there is some shit I never actually enjoyed doing. Like parents' evening. I didn't like going. You got to remember, I've got a lot of kids, you know. Not all of them are Einstein's. That means, yeah, I've got to leave the comfort of my house, travel all the way down to the school building, to sit down with a teacher that's going to tell me, I live with a dickhead. I mean, they don't actually say the words, but you know what they're trying to tell you,

and you know, because you live with this child. So you know he's a dickhead. Especially because remember, you know, I was a young father myself. So it was not that long ago that I was sat in the same seat with teachers telling my parents they live with a dickhead.

So that was my 20. I was changing nappies, changing bus spheres, and by taking my first step into comedy, changing my life. Now, I'll be honest with you, I've had a couple of brandies and a couple pulls off the Bob Marley special fielded. That's my time.

I've been Slim. Good night. Slim's Guide to Life was written and performed by me, Slim, with an additional material by David Agile. It was produced by Gwyn Reese Davis, and it was a BBC studio for production for Radio 4. If you enjoyed this episode of Slim's Guide to Life, you can hear more on BBC Sounds.

Just search stand-up specials. Could you talk about being invisible or double denim? Who knows what's next on the new series of just a minute? Belting out a rendition of Godabat. Whatever the topic, our panel has just a minute to speak without hesitation, deviation or repetition. Join Zoe Lyons, Desiree Birch, Paul Merton and many more for the new series of just a minute with me, Superkins.

It's funny because it's true. Listen on Radio 4, and the full box set is available now on BBC Sounds.