Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - A Belgian In France

Episode Date: October 21, 2021

Conan chats with Manu from Nassigny, France about renovating a small-town Airbnb in the country's geographical center. Wanna get a chance to talk to Conan? Submit here: TeamCoco.com/CallConan

Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com slash call Conan. Okay, let's get started. Hey. Oh, for God's sake. Oh, for God's sake. I've got to cross off too.

Okay, we should explain because this is a podcast. David, why don't you introduce? Manu, meet Conan and Sona. Hi, guys, hi, Sona, hi. Okay, of course, thank you. Manu, let me explain to people what just happened. We were told this next fan that I was gonna talk to is a gentleman who's living in France

who is of Belgian descent, but's living in France. And then you popped up on our screen and he's wearing the cliched beret red scarf and was biting into a giant baguette, like a total wise ass. Manu, that was very funny. I have to give it to you. That was very, very funny.

Oh, that's great. That really made me laugh. I was all, of course, I'm on guard thinking, I don't want to touch on any of the stereotypes. And then you start with the most ridiculous, you look like a cartoon character right now. I know, I know. Fantastic.

One part of me said, you have to do this. And the other part said, no, don't do this. This is stupid. And then the other part again said, yeah, but this is for Conan. And then one part said again, well, fair enough. So. Manu, you did the exact right thing and we applaud you.

It's absolutely hilarious and. Thank you so much. I think your countrymen will be mad at you. Well, probably. I hope nobody in France is watching this, but anyway. I'm taking off the beret right now. That's good. That's good.

Well, Manu, it's lovely to meet you. You are talking to us from a region of France, a town called, is it Nassanie? It's Nassanie. Nassanie. Nassanie. Yes. Nassanie.

And tell us where that is. That is south of. Actually, it's 200 miles south of Paris and it is the geographical center if you include Corsica of France. So if you really like point your finger in the middle of France, that's where it is. Although I have to say there are like about five villages

who claim to be the center. This is the geographical center of France. So. Oh, screw them. Screw them. Manu, I hate. You know what? They're all liars and posers.

I know. I think Nassanie is, am I saying it correctly? Yes. Well, sort of. Fair enough. Nassanie, Nassanie. OK, forget it. You're from this place that I think

is the actual true center. And I declare it so. I declare and I have that power. We have a statue. We really have a statue, you know, like in Borne, like they say in French, which has the map of France as the geographical center. So.

Great. OK, so you have actually been proclaimed the very center of France, which makes me happy. Now, tell me a little bit about yourself. You're originally from Belgium, is that right? Yes, that is correct. OK, and then, of course, not a big journey to make your way to France.

No, no, it's not a huge journey. It's only an eight hour drive, basically. Right. But I used to I used to live in Belgium. I'm a 45 year old homosexual man. Guess what? It is. You just, it's 2021.

I know. You do not have to whisper that or or do a stage whisper homosexual. No, we're. No, but you know, anyway. But anyway, so yes, so you do identify then as Belgian or do you identify as French? No, I definitely identify as Belgian.

I do. Yeah, I've been living here now. I actually moved here after the first lockdown in Belgium. Oh, you're pretty new to you're pretty new to France. Yeah, yeah. I've been living here now for a little bit over a year. So yeah. What is your profession?

I actually used to be a creative director in the high end menswear retail industry. Oh, wow. So I did that for over 25 years, except for a couple of years where where I was off. And yeah, I really love my job. I have to say I loved every second of it. But at the end, I was kind of like, you know,

I was a bit done with it. I was, you know, I reached my ceiling and my parents actually bought this property in France about 30 years ago. And there is a little house, a little old lock keeper's house nearby, which now I am renovating into an Airbnb. Oh, wow. Wait, so a lock keeper's house, that

means a lock keeper is someone who has a house on a canal. Is that right? Exactly, exactly. And it's actually a canal that was commissioned by Napoleon in the late 1700s. So this house actually is from 1807. My house is from 1823, I think. Oh my god.

You know what I love about this is something that always fascinates me about Europe is that you're living in a house that was built in 1807. And that means nothing in Europe. People don't even think twice about 1807. I'm living in a house that this is to tell you what it's like in Los Angeles. We had some problem with a pipe underneath our house.

And they came to work on it. And I asked the guy, what's up with that pipe? And he went, yeah, it's kind of tricky. We see problems with pipes in homes that were built. And he actually said this way back in 2004. That was like, oh, yeah, right. During George W. Bush's first term, before they knew about plumbing, that's

Los Angeles, where if you can find a house from the 90s, it's an archaeological find. Well, I can tell you this, we have no plumbing. So in the house that I'm renovating now, there was actually there was, well, there was just like an exit going into a pit in the ground. So that's where, yeah, that's where everything dissolved, basically, back in those days.

So I kind of had to fix those. Yes, but we don't have to get into the specifics of what happened to the fecal waste. But the important thing is, well, Sona, you grew up, how did you? What are you saying? What are you saying? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, stop, no. Put your father, dug a hole, and back here.

Anyway, the point is. What an awful person. What a great man. I'm talking about Manu, not myself. I like Manu. So that's fascinating. So you're going to have this Airbnb. I have to caution you, Manu, that many people

love the idea of an Airbnb. And then what happens is the people start showing up, and they're assholes, and they want to know where, you know, this isn't the croissant is a little dry. The towels aren't quite big enough. We're not getting the water pressure we want. Do you think you're going to be able to handle that over the long haul?

Oh, definitely, definitely. Listen, I have worked for over 25 years in a bit of a specific industry with people with very, very high demands. We are very high end, so luxury of luxury, and these people, they really, really are very high demanding. So I think my Airbnb, and by the way,

I'm not really aiming towards that kind of crowd. It's going to be a little bit less than that. More chill, a little more relaxed. Yeah, a little bit more chill, a bit more relaxed, you know, like families with kids and people with a good income, but, you know, not the top of the top. That's not really my, you know, my crowd.

So you're not retired. You're kind of, you've just switched over into something much less stressful. Yeah, yeah, exactly, yeah. And I have to say, I switched because I felt like this was a time to do it. Also, COVID kind of like, was a bit of a sign for me to say, OK, if you want to do it, you have to do it now.

Everything, you know, is kind of like pointing towards this moment. And I love my job. I really did. I love my boss. I shout out to Mekin, where I used to work for so, so many years. But it was just time for something new. Yeah, well, I can relate because I did a late night talk show

here in America for 28 years and really loved it. But then got to that point where I thought I have done this and done this and done this and done this and it's time for something new. So I'm going to run an Airbnb in the very center of France. And I'm going to put one right next to yours. And I'm going to undercut you on price and totally screw you over.

Well, there's no house next to me, so you're going to have to. I'm going to build one. I'm having a builder from Los Angeles come out to build a quick shitty house. You're going to have a bigger pit for poop. Let me tell you one thing. France is amazing. It really is an amazing country, but it is a bureaucratical nightmare.

Yes, I can imagine. If you want to build, so if you want to pass gas, you have to fill in like 12 forms for three differences, you know, divisions. It's crazy. Yes, yes. MUSIC So I'm curious about something because it's fans that call in

and you must be a, are you a podcast listener? Do you listen to our podcast? I actually listen to your podcast. I listen to a couple of podcasts, but yours is the one that I really kind of like look forward to as well while I'm doing my renovation. So you know what I love? I swear to God, I love, I think more than anything in the world,

I love thinking I've had people tell me that they're in Dublin or they're in a different part of, you know, all these different parts of the world, listening to our silliness and it makes me very happy that. It's true. It's really, it makes me, it makes me happy that, that we found you this way. It does, it does fill me with a lot of joy knowing that you're

trying, you're trying to do this important renovation and you're listening to us as we waste time. Yeah. No, but it's, it's the, for me, it's the nicest way to work. It's just to put you guys on the background and I just laugh while I'm pouring cement or doing stuff and yeah, it's amazing. Are you pretty handy?

Are you able to? I am, I really am. I have to say I'm not as handy as my dad who is now 75 years old, but he can work. I mean, that generation, they can work like crazy. I mean, it's insane, literally insane, but I am handy. I, you know, I learn quickly, you know, I make mistakes of course, but then, you know,

you do it again and you try again until it works. I have a question, which is this town you're in, is this a small town? Yeah, it's, it's, it's not even a town. It's like a village. It has 183 people. So it's, I come from a town of over half a million and now I'm in a village of 183.

So this is, I've always wondered about this, Manu, which is how many people again? 183. 183 people. So you can't afford to piss anybody off. You can't because that's going to follow you. You can't just cut someone off in traffic and give them the finger and think,

oh, well, I won't be seeing him again because that's your dentist. Yeah, well, my dentist is my brother-in-law, so that's not going to be him. You'd be giving him the finger anyway, yeah. Yeah, that is true. But no, yeah, it's, you know, but the French, you know, no offense, but they are, they're poor drivers.

That's what I say. So everybody's, I think everybody flips everybody off here, to be honest. Okay, that's good. I just accept it, yeah. More kind of a tradition. So I think- It's like wave, it's waving.

It's the equivalent of waving. Exactly. That's fantastic. I have to say, I want to describe this for the listeners right now. You are, it must be, what time of night is it where you are? It is now 10 past midnight, so it's about eight. You have, you look like you're being shot

by the same cinematographer that did Godfather one and two. Because you have this absolutely golden, beautiful light and there's ancient stone behind you and you've got these little, you've got these little candles. It's the most serene backdrop I've seen on any Zoom recording ever. Yes, I agree. And can I see your glass of wine again?

I'm so sorry. I know you picked it up. You know, I live here alone, so I always tell myself I only drink one glass of wine. Yeah. Oh my God. I could soak my left foot in that. That is the largest glass I've ever seen.

But I'm gonna tell you, it's great juice. It's not really wine. Oh, good. Oh my God. I see, it's part of your, it's part of your shtick. It's part of the shtick. Manu, you are incorrigible. You are.

Thank you so much. That's hilarious. Well, Manu, can I answer any questions for you? I like to try and help my fans across the globe in any way I can. What can I do for you? Well, I do have one question because I listen to your podcast quite a lot.

And not only your podcast, but on different other ones, I often hear you say that you feel like you resemble a tall Belgian or Dutch woman. I just want to know where on earth you got that idea from. Oh. Because as a Belgian, I can tell you there is no woman that I know that looks like you. Wow.

Well, of course. I think it's because I have this sort of light coloring and whatever vaguely sort of Anglo-Saxon features. Yeah. My gender at a distance might be a mystery to some and I'm very tall. And so it just was a fun thing for me to say and it made people chuckle,

but I in no way meant to impugn the beauty of the women in Belgium, who I'm sure are far more gorgeous. But I do believe there is a woman right now in Belgium who's 6'4", who looks just like me, exactly like me. And she's listening to this right now and she's crying. Well, I have to say my youngest sister is very tall and she kind of resembles you, but.

Yeah. I'm not gonna tell her though. No, no, and she'll never hear this. No, God, no. Well, if you find a region either of France or Belgium, specifically where the women look like me, you have to let me know Manu and then I'll start making the reference more specific.

Okay, perfect. That's the deal. This has been really fun. I loved it. And you know what? I wanna come stay at your Airbnb. I really would and I would expect some kind of a break. I will tell you one thing.

I will, Alpha, I'm not gonna pay for your flights, of course, but if you really would like to stay, you can stay here for, let's say, a week, 10 days free of charge. 14 days. Okay, 14 days. Come on. 18 days.

18 days. Who negotiates? 30 days. 30 days free and I don't, and I pay for no food. No, I'm kidding. But I wouldn't give food, so. I will steal the food from your refrigerator.

I'm coming after you Manu. Oh good, I love a prop baguette that's part even bitten into. You know what? I would happily pay and I would love to see your town and hang with you, Manu. You seem like a very cool and very funny person. And thank you for going with the over-the-top

French cartoonish costume because it was a hilarious choice and I applaud you. Yeah. Okay, thank you so much. Conan O'Brien needs a fan with Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian and Matt Gorely. Produced by me, Matt Gorely, executive produced by Adam Sacks,

Joanna Soloteroff and Jeff Ross at Team Coco and Colin Anderson at Earwolf. Music by Jimmy Vivino. Supervising producer, Aaron Blair. Associate talent producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate producers, Sean Doherty and Lisa Berm. Engineered by Will Beckton. Please rate, review and subscribe

to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded. This episode was produced and edited by me, Brett Morris. This has been a Team Coco production in association with Stitcher.