Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Adam Driver Live at the Brooklyn Academy of Music

Episode Date: December 11, 2023

Actor Adam Driver feels thrilled to be Conan O’Brien’s friend.Adam sits down with Conan Live at the Brooklyn Academy of Music to discuss starting his own fight club, learning how to send a telegraph for Lincoln, and portraying Enzo Ferrari in his new film Ferrari. Plus, Conan, Matt, and Sona answer live audience questions about a new couple’s compatibility, casting the Chill Chums movie, and teaching college courses.For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com.Got a question for Conan? Call our voicemail: [phone].

I'm a fan friends I can tell that we are gonna be friends Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Mr. Conan O'Brien Thank you. Oh my God. Hey, how are you, New York, Brooklyn? Manhattan, Debronx, all Debronx, and here. How are you? How you doing? This is the New York comedy festival, We're thrilled to be part of it.

Very cool to have you here. Thanks for being here. Did you buy that shirt or make that shirt? Want to come up here and show everyone what you're wearing? Guess I'll let that someone in a hand. What is your name? I'm Crystal. Okay, Crystal, look at this shirt.

Do you know what it's like for me to come out here? And performing is all about confidence, you know? And you come out here and the first thing I see is this lovely, lovely woman, but her shirt is me at a very confusing, difficult time in my life. Look at that bowl haircut. My mom had a Sears and Robuck haircut in kit. There were six of us. She would line us up and she would go by and she would cut

straight across. Every time you bend over, it looks like I'm being crushed. Hi. Who didn't? There's empty seats right up front. Who are these people? One is your friend that couldn't make it. Who wants to move down up front? This is fucking bullshit. Last row. Last row. Come on, let's go. Two of you, both of you. Come on. Let's go. Bullshit. Okay, you there. Come on down. You guys there and there. Your friend didn't come. This sold out instantly this show.

People really wanted to be here. What happened? What happened? She broke two of her toes. I thought you said she broke two of her nose. She broke two of her toes. You can still sit in a seat. Anyone else, this time I, well, we need someone else down here.

We got a full VCs right here. These are seats up front. I'm a very attractive man. You, come on up here. This guy, is that a star, star wars shirt? Okay, forget it now. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Okay, I'm kidding.

Just have to... Ha ha ha ha! God dammit! This show sold out so fast! And then this person didn't come, because I broke my jaw! You don't even know, what are you doing right now? Are you calling her?

Call her! What's her name? It's unbelievable. What is her name? Veronica. Oh, man, she's on my shit list now. You're calling her right now? If she's in a club right now, I'm going to lose it. If she's seeing another comedian, this is it. There's no show tonight. Put her on speaker. I'm a speaker now. Veronica, are you there? No. Can you hear me?

Yes, I'm here. Okay. Veronica, I walk out here to this Brooklyn Academy of Music, which is a sold-out show that sold out in seconds. And what do I see right away, an empty seat up front, and your friend who's wearing, by the way, a very disturbing shirt of me when I was an 11-year-old girl. And what happened to you? Tell us all.

Oh my God. Tell us what happened. We just broke my two toes and then I had some complications. I literally just got released at the hospital today. This is taking a turn. This is taking a turn. I did not foresee. I was like, why can't she be here?

So I've broken a toe. I always break my toes. I break a toe every day. And now it turns out you had complications. And you were just released from the hospital today? Yeah, I just got out today, and I'm... I'm so sorry. Look, I can't talk much longer.

I've got a show to do. I can't talk much longer. And you're clearly high on some pain meds. Veronica, did they give you pills? Did they give you pain pills? Veronica, wake up up wake up Veronica! I'm trying. I'm trying. Okay okay Veronica I'm gonna let you go now. I hope you get better soon. All right? Okay? Yeah and I hope that this is in a hallucination. Bye Veronica.

Bye Veronica. That was absolutely fantastic. I love that. I wanted to quickly mention you are an amazing crowd. We did a show last night. I love that crowd. You are much better than them already. And I'll tell you something else. So much so that now I hate last night's crowd. But we did have people coming from all

over. It was insane. We had people that we had someone who flew from Tokyo to be here. Yes. And then we had someone else, another couple that flew from England to see this show. That felt like a lot of pressure. And I asked them afterwards, what do you think? And they said, not worth it. Then I talked to a couple that lives like three blocks from here. They said not worth it. I'm kidding. Everyone seemed to have a good time, but we're

going to have a blast tonight. I think you're going to have a good time. Thank you so much for being here. You know, I don't do this podcast alone. This podcast has been a great gift for me. We started doing it five years ago and it's one of the most enjoyable things I think I've done in my entire career. I absolutely love it.

And I do it not alone as much as I'd like to do it alone. I've tried to fire them. I guess there's a contract. No, I love these two. Let's get them out here right now. Sonom of Sessian, Matt Gourley. Again, four seats right here. What's happening? What's happening? right here. What's happening? What's happening? You two guys that are hugging each other, come forward, come forward, stop hugging each other and come forward. What are you doing? We have four seats right here. This is bullshit. You're still sitting practically up front.

What's your problem? You're so close to the front. What's that? Okay, two of you come forward. Jesus Christ. Look at the shit I have to do. At this stage in my career, we took here some major shit before you came out. Yeah, man. We heard you berating a sick girl backstage. Is she really sick?

Let's think about it. I mean, she broke some toes, and then I guess there were complications We don't know what that is. I mean it could be an infection Thanks, so not you're really helping yeah, say me but she sounds much better now. Hi as a kite. Okay, sounds nice I am I don't know about you, but I have, I told the crowd last night, I used to live in Williamsburg in another lifetime, a long time ago, like during the Civil War and a million years ago, and I don't get back to Brooklyn that much.

And so I have been walking everywhere around here, Talking to people, I love it. I just love the vibe here. It's making me think, why didn't I come back to Brooklyn earlier? Because I love it so much. Great vibe. People are so good looking. Everyone's, I mean, the ladies, the fellas, all of them.

Everyone's really good looking. They're all very well dressed. Everyone's got a cup of coffee that costs like $900. And their kids have weird names that are just made up. I have to say, it's been great. Have you guys been enjoying Brooklyn? Have you been checking it out? Well, I'm not going anywhere.

Yeah. I don't know what it is. I've been at my hotel room, and then I came here, and then I went back to my hotel room room and then I came here and then I went back to my hotel room and then I came back here. Wait, you've stayed in your hotel room the whole time you've been here? The whole day, the whole day.

Why? I don't know, I get to my room and I'm just like, there's a bed and then there's a TV. So I watched the office, I watched friends, I watched modern family, that are like 50 years old. I watched, and I watched Deadpool 2 on like basic cable. Is this because Sonia and I are both

from Southern California and whoa. One, whoa. Sonia, you came to New York with me the first time. I'll never forget this. You've been working with me for just a couple of months and we came to New York together and you flipped out and you said, I hated here. And then I said, why don't you just get in a cab

and go back to your hotel room and you said, get in a cab. I'm not gonna sit in a seat that other people have sat on. That's what she said. That's a quote. What the hell are you talking about? Why are you telling a New York crowd that I'm scared of? They're sitting.

Why are you doing that? What was scared you about a seat that someone else sat on? That's just, I mean, come on. Okay, they didn't just sit on it. They like jizzed on it. Oh. You and I have different concerns about New York. Yes.

There's jizz everywhere! No, there is no way! What are you working around with a blue light? What are you doing? Yes, everyone's bleeding everywhere! They're all spitting! Okay, I'd like to distance myself from this opinion. I don't have this problem with New York.

Right. And I don't know what you think people are doing in cabs, but... And I think, yes, has that happened? Yeah, they're fucking. No, they're not. Yeah, no. They're not. No, there's no, no, that's not happening a lot.

OK. So certainly, I never did it. I used to get on that horse that takes you around the park. That's where you do? Do the deed there. The clip clop of horses. It's very erotic to me. Reven right now, I'm getting ar there. The clip clop of horses. It's very erotic to me. Reven right now, I'm getting aroused.

Oh. Come on, you can do it. I don't want to. Get up here. Would you do that carotide with someone else or would you buy yourself? I was by myself. OK, that makes sense.

Not be like, oh, you can do it. Not gonna. That's what my penis says to me. Not gonna. Oh, yeah. Oh, people are cloning. Not gunna. That's what my penis says to me, not gunna. Oh yeah. People are clenna gunna. Don't wanna.

Scared. Stay in the hotel room. Yeah. Well, that's wasted on you, this city. The city's wonderfully. You should get out and explore it. It's beautiful. No, I know.

I get intimidated. I really do get intimidated. I get a little scared. And so I just stay in my hotel room. Okay, well, loser. Well, I wouldn't say you're a loser. I'd say you're a very sad person. Oh, who will never win, but not a loser. Thanks. That's okay. I'm just curious, did anyone come from someplace really far away? Because last night's crowd, okay, let's do this in a, yes, where are you from? You're from where? You're from Oh, are you here on other business?

Or did you come all the way from Bulgaria just to see this show don't lie? Okay No, no, no, no, no, I study here. I know for a fact Count there are people from Denmark here. I know that He's standing up. Why I love that so he said, there's someone from Denmark here, and this man shot up. It is I, Hamlet the Dane. I am going to eat all of them.

He's holding an exotic cheese. You're from Denmark? And did you come here just for this? And don't say no. I also live here, and I was wandering by, and there was a bunch of empty seats on the front row. Because that's humiliating. Wow!

Wow! Come here, I'm going to give this man a hug. I'm giving this man a hug. Give this man a hug. And what is your name, sir? Christopher. Okay, I wish it was something kind of fun, but it's not. That's my middle name.

I was hoping it was like, Greg Rohr and it had like, um-louts on it. Unfortunately, no, I've known it. Very, I have a very silly, I thought, oh, you'd have wooden shoes. I didn't know. It was, and now I'm just disappointed. Guess what? There's an empty seat right there

and it's yours if you want it. Do you want it? I definitely do. Thank you. You hear with anyone else? I'm Mira Lone. alone. Right there. Yeah. Conan. Conan. You've been giving this to me. Oh come on. Yeah. But I have to, but I want to call you Gregor. Is that okay? You can call you Gregor right here. For the next two minutes.

This is a nice to meet you. Welcome. You're getting a heart attack. Oh, yeah! Gregor, I can't call you Christopher. It just takes the whole fine. Look out, so for sure, this guy is. Yeah. Yeah.

You've been in show business for like 30 seconds. And you're like, let's move it along Conan. Gregor doesn't have time to waste. I'm generally just going to call myself Gregor from now on, because you don't. I'm so, you know, we can't let you have that seat the whole night, but you'll be there for another minute or two. Don't get too confused.

Then you're going back to that seat right there. Did you think this was going to happen when you flew here from Denmark? I had no anticipation that this is ever gonna happen though. Yeah. This is guaranteed for anybody that comes from Denmark from here on out. This will happen. This is our promise to Denmark.

I will go back to my country to tell my people that this is what happens when it goes to Brooklyn. I love that you are the spokesperson for your people. Like you're gonna get off the airport and everyone from Denmark is just gonna be there. And you're gonna walk up to a microphone. It is true. If we go to Brooklyn, we can sit with Conan. Yay! They're all cheering

way if the Danish flag around. Yes, they will. Yeah. This is, I love this. This is fantastic. Well, unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. Yeah. I love you, Christopher. You're a great man. I love all the free of you, this is fantastic. Well, unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. I love you, Christopher. You're a great man.

I love all the free views. Well, just me, DreamCantue. Oh, hey. Let's keep the eye on the prize here, Christopher. I put you in that seat, and I can take you out, and I will. Christopher, thank you so much, and please, tell all the people of your beautiful country that they're always welcome at my show

if I happen to see them and Call them up. I mean honestly you should come visit you have loads of fans of them. I will I will come to visit What about us? I will gladly show you around if you come visit really? Yes, all right. I'll do it. It's a deal Back to your seat there, Christopher or Gregor. Oh my God, look at him. You have to give the microphone back. Don't let him leave with the microphone. Take the microphone back.

Man. The Danish people, the Danish people are known microphone thieves. Look at this guy returning his jacket, that's nice too. Wow. You know, I think we should probably move along now because we should get on with the real, the meat of the show. This is very exciting. This is really fun. This is cool.

I'm excited. And so I think we should all just get into a nice quiet space. And we should... Yeah, quiet space, you know. No, just relaxed and calm. And I think we should maybe dim the lights. And I think maybe it's time to bring out our mystery guests. Let's do that now. My name is Adam Driver.

I'm here on behalf of the people of Crygore, and the land which we represent, and I'm thrilled to be Conan O'Brien's friend. Wow, are we honored to have you? It's just amazing. This is absolutely amazing. People are just, people just lost it when they realize that you were coming on the show. That's got to feel good. Yeah, no, it's out of body. It's very nice. It's very nice. Yeah. Now, I'm going to put everyone to sleep. No, I am so thrilled that you could do the show. I know this has been a massive fan of yours for a long time, and this was absolutely when I found out

that you were going to come do this, just blew me away. And I know you're a Brooklyn guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, just down the street. Yeah, okay, so somewhere just down the street. Yeah, okay. So somewhere. We won't get specific. I'll come by after the show. I just invited myself.

Thank you so much for being here. And like I said, it's so funny because I don't know you. I'd met you once before when you were doing a panel for a movie and I met you, but I've loved your work. And then I've always thought, I don't know, there's something that I kind of identify. I can identify it with you a little bit. Where is this going? How could you possibly? We're both leading men.

We're following men. No, what I meant was, I know that I've read things about you and you've said that you kind of felt, like not comfortable in yourself, you know, being tall. Do you know what I mean? I've read interviews with you and I've thought, wait a minute, I know what that's like. Only it seems to have worked out so much better for you.

How do you explain that? How it looks like being tall? Yeah, no. Damn it, you wise ass. No, it's awful. But did you, it took you a while to be comfortable in yourself. Did you think that's fair? Oh, totally.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But as I was tall in my school, it's hard to find clothes, nothing fucking fit. No, you can't fit in any cars. You know, that's like a thing. I used to, I couldn't find pants because my legs are fuxxly long. And there was a whole period in like the late 1970s

where my pants came to like halfway down my shin. And I had that bowl haircut. And I was just humiliated all the time. This woman's wearing, don't laugh at me when I was a child. I feel so bad for that kid. No, you're describing it backstage when I see his bright. It is noticeable. Thanks, pal.

Sorry, sorry, guys. I agree, that's terrible. But do you have, I don't know. Did you have the experience of, because you were told people assumed you were an athlete? Yeah, we're supposed to say in Indiana. If you're an Indiana, you have to play basketball. And how told people assumed you were an athlete? Yeah, I was pushing in Indiana. If you're in Indiana, you have to play basketball.

And how did that work out? That was terrible. Actually, I played in junior high, but I was on the A team and it was really bad. But then when they put me on the B team, I was really good because I knew it didn't count. So then I turned into Jordan on the B team. But on the A team, it was just a mess. Uh-huh. Plus, they also had to buy those Nike Terroway pants.

And we couldn't afford them. So it was the only asshole running around the gym, because you would run around the gym before the game started. And it was just the one guy too tall to get the Nike Terroway pants, because we couldn't afford it. I mean, that's not why my game was so bad. It was just a-

I would have blamed the pants if I were you. I totally would have said these pants. They restrict me. Otherwise, a dunk. No, I had that too. Well, no, because I was six, four, and people would say, oh, you must be a great basketball player, but the height came suddenly, like, really late. I grew tall, very late in the game, literally overnight,

like, after college. And, no, that's just stupid come on but I did I got and so and then I was very uncorinated for I mean till till the current day so I think also a symptom of being tall is if you were in any way neutral people because you're tall and most people aren't they they think you're mad when. When actually we were talking about this little bit backstage, I'm like, no, I'm mad. I'm fine. You get this a lot because, well,

you probably get a lesson idea because people know you playing, you're so good at playing such intense roles. I've always been, you know, smiley guy, and so when I'm neutral, like just walking around Brooklyn, just with a neutral expression, people like, hey, Conan, just with a neutral expression, people like,

hey, Conan, come on, be happy. Yeah. Why aren't you dancing around like a clown? I'm like, I'm fine. I'm just, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I am a real person. No, when I walk around Brooklyn and the people like,

that fits. Yeah. He looks mad, that's what I assume. So you have a hard time blending in, I would think. Oh, yeah, yeah. I've tried things. I've tried hats. I've tried hoodies, unhats, underhats, you know, almost blankets and people still...

I think when you put a blanket over you and you walk around, people are gonna look. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So now I don't do anything. I just like, oh fuck it. This is me. That's a good way to be. Yeah, yeah. One of the things that I read about you, and I don't know if it's true, but is that when you were young, you went through this period, I don't know if you want to call it a rebellious

period or what, but you started a fight club. Oh, yeah. Because you saw the movie Fight Club and you're like, I'm going to do that. Totally, yeah. Guess what? I saw the movie Fight Club. I was not inspired to start a Fight Club. So what happened?

Did you really do it? Yeah, there's a friend of mine named Noah Peacock, who had a house behind it, like an event space called Celebrations Unlimited. It's on the corner of Laurel Street. Wow, okay, we're doing an ad now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's since that burned to the ground, I think. But, and there was a field behind celebrations unlimited

and we would get together with our friends or people who were riding by on their bikes and we would fight them. Oh. Wait, it sounds like that's a mugging, if it's someone's just going by on their bike, and they have not entered the flight club, that's just a random attack.

We take their loose cash. We go up and take their bike and they go. Read Fightycho. Did you, and were there rules? Did you guys have certain rules you wouldn't get hurt? Yeah, don't hitting in the balls, and I think that was pretty much it. That's the only rule.

But it was also, you know, it was the Mishawaka in Dianna. There wasn't a, you know, it's not a cultural hub. But it's a, so there's not really much to do other than go to the video store, rep movies and beat the shit out of each other. What movies did you watch? You were renting like VHS movies? Yeah, every time a fight club was one of them. All of the movies that I, you know, like, that were a big influence on me, that, you know, Jim Jarmish movies, you know, Scorsese and, you know, everything,

I'm out of our movies. One of the things that I find really admirable about you is you've had a lot of success, you're incredibly talented, but like a lot of people, it didn't come quickly, it didn't happen easily. You kept at it. You wanted to go and study acting. You knew at a fairly early age that's something you wanted to do. Yeah, I knew I was in high school and I did a play and then I, you know, I loved it. It was like, it was Oklahoma, it was the first play that I did in high school. And I was like, yeah, curly.

Oh, yeah. I wasn't curly. I was in the, I was in the cast. I had the chorus. I had one line I said, check his heart. That was my line. I was hooked. But you killed it.

I killed it. You nailed it. Yeah, yeah. And then I knew that Julia didn't check grades. So I applied to Julia and everyone else seemed seemed to check grades and I got rejected. I didn't get it. And then I was terrible story. But there'd be more like this.

But inspirational because you then you try to go out to LA I think. Yeah, that's right. Then I put all my shit in my car. I had like a 1990 Lincoln town car that I, it was a hand me, I put everything in my, the back of the car. As soon as I turn 18, my parents are like, you're moving to the back of the house,

you have to pay rent, you have to have your own fridge, you have to make all your own shit. And I put all of that in the back of this car. So it was my mini fridge. Everything I owned. I said, I had this girlfriend at the time and I said goodbye, you know, like I'll never, never come.

Yeah, yeah. And I drove all the way to California, on the way, Flagstaff, Arizona, my car broke down. I spent all the money, most of the money I had fixing it, I got to LA for like a couple of days, ran out of money and turned around, drove right back. Oh my God. I had no other choice, I had my God. I had no other choice.

I had no options. I had no friend there. I gave my money to some company that's supposed to help you find an apartment, which was a total fucking scam. And after a while, I didn't want to call my parents and ask for more money, and nobody helped me out, so I had enough money.

I had $200 in gas money, and I drove all the way back. And then reconnected with my girlfriend and... No. Ah! Remember me? Yeah, yeah. Who's this guy? You know what's interesting, because I know that you were in the Marines for that.

And which I think is awesome. Thank you. And it's interesting, because it does make sense to me, but you've talked about how that was a good experience for you and that you feel like you've been able to channel it into your acting career. Oh, yeah, absolutely. And what way specifically?

Look, it's obviously the stakes are different. One is pretending it's life or death and the other they are. But the way you work on a film and a play is very similar to the military. You know, in my instance, I was a 81 millimeter mortar man. So there's a gun team and the chain of command is very obvious. So when you have a director who's in charge, everyone's trying to accomplish a mission that's bigger than any one person. Someone's leading it and when they know what they're doing, what you're doing feels exciting and who's in charge, everyone's trying to accomplish a mission that's bigger than anyone person. Someone's leading it and when they know what they're doing, what you're doing feels exciting

and active and necessary and when they don't, it feels awful. And like a waste of time and a waste of resources and the better you do your role, someone else's, you know, the better someone else can do their role. You're fighting, you're improvising, you're fighting technology, you're time, the sun, you know, all of these, it makes it feel more communal in my mind. It's not, I'm coming in and doing my role in everyone's adapt to what I'm doing.

I would also think that, I mean, because one of the things that I really admire about your performances, and not just in film, but it's something that I've noticed in another lifetime wrote for Saturday Night Live. And I love when you do the show. I absolutely love when you do the show because you are fantastic.

And one of the things that I noticed about it in so many of the sketches you do is your approach is, as if you are making a Scorsese film, you go out there with this intensity. I think there's one sketch that really pops from me where it's a class day where people are supposed to have their father or their mother command. And you come in and you approach it with more conviction. Your whole thing is nothing funny is happening here. This is not funny. This is life or death. And you're leaning in to Pete Davidson's face. And I watch that sketch and I think that's the way people should play sketches.

Very few people can. And you do that all the time. When you take what you do in drama and you use it in comedy, it's absolutely brilliant. It's fantastic. Oh, well, I don't know how to follow that up. That's very nice for you to say. Coming from you in particular.

Well, I've always thought it's commitment. It's total commitment. And I noticed you're not card bound, well, on the cue cards and stuff. It's like, I can tell that you've prepared like no This is important. We've this has got to be just right. Yeah, you'd notice the difference. Yeah the cue the cue card thing is also because I'm not a very good I can't read very well. I wasn't I'm not okay. I'm taking this compliment back I did not have a good education but but no when I get nervous

I'll go over them with Wally there all the time, all the way up until when you're supposed to walk out. You know what's interesting, talk about commitment, I really loved, and I mentioned this two ones because we had a chance to chat not too long ago, and I mentioned that I was a big fan of the movie Lincoln, and this is when you were just starting to get your break. I think you, was this before girls or after maybe right around the same time? Yeah, right around the same time. And you got, it's a very small part, but you have this amazing scene, you're a telegraph

operator. And it's a small scene, but I remember it even then thinking like, oh, you like you pop in that scene, and that's pretty cool. And I was talking to you about it, and you said that, yeah, you like you pop in that scene. And that's pretty cool. And I was talking to you about it, and you said that, yeah, you learned how to operate a telegraph machine for that scene. And I didn't even think that was necessary, right? Yeah. No, well, I thought it was.

Because I read the scene, and he was operating a telegraph. So I'm like, oh, I don't know how to do that. I know, but I'm telling you, this is how we're different. This is why you're Adam Traver. And I'm this guy over here is because I have learned my lines and everything. And then I've been like, I'm supposed to be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be,

and probably doing bits. And then Lincoln would come by and be like, Hi, oh, Lincoln, I'm, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, you know. And you learned really how to send Morse code. Well, yeah, I tried to learn the alphabet and then when I got there They just hooked it up to a machine. That's what I found out the first day. They're like oh, you didn't need to do that We just hooked it up to the machine Then that that was kind of a metaphor for the rest of my career, you know a lot of just wasted energy

Yeah, spent in like running really fast in the wrong direction for a long time. Yeah. And then showing up and like, it's all fucking different. I'm not, you know, like I give up, you know. Well, you have to talk about something kind of delicate here because you were sitting in the company of Mr. Matt Gourley who's one of the biggest Star Wars fans of all time. Oh.

And knows everything about franchise. And you, first of all time and knows everything about franchise and you First of all you were brilliant in the force of weeks absolutely brilliant It's in that role and so and so The scene where you're working your way down the corridor with the lightsaber is one of the best down the corridor with the lightsaber is one of the best, just the most, best, I think, movie depictions of intensity that I've seen of someone who's just determined to get from point A to point B and pure rage and wrath. And I was like, that, I've watched that many times.

It's so cool. But then you occupy this complicated space probably for Matt because you killed Han Solo. Well, thank you, Conan. No, but you did it with such style that, I want to know as if you learn the telegraph, how do you go about learning the force for something like that? How do you prepare it?

You could really levitate. X-wing fighters. We need a machine for that. Yeah, a lot of jumping rope. Oh, I got nothing. I don't know. Oh. No, I'm just happy to be here with you. I do.

Have you met Harrison? Has he come on the show? Oh, Harrison, the show. Harrison Ford did the show not pretty recently. And he killed. And he was the man he killed. Yeah, he survived. Almost, it was so funny because he's, you know, people don't realize how funny he is. But he came in and immediately started yelling at me.

I don't know who he hears, listen to the Harrison Ford. I was like, you haven't heard it. It was really... And then at one point, he saw my notes, and I was just reminding myself, because he's done so many roles like to bring up, you know, and I just written in the corner, on solo. Of this little like blue card,

like just so I would remember, like, because you can get lost in the conversation, just remember, like, oh no, that's a 30 different roles he's played. And at one point, Harrison looks over, and he sees that on my blue card and he goes, what?

He said, you can't fucking remember Han Solo. Oh, yeah. And then I had to go with it. So I went, well, you don't really pop in those movies. And then I could just see his eyes get real big. And then it was just a blood bath. It was so much fun. And then if he yelled at all of us,

I think it was him yelling at us the whole time. The whole time, yeah. Which was really fun. Not at me. No, no one yells at you, Sona. You're perfect. I'm so proud. You never make a mistake.

You know how to drink from a cup. Just like any adult, I had the pleasure of seeing your movie, Ferrari. I did. What I never loved is that this is just a weird thing about my life. If I want to watch a movie, they burn in the name Conan. Yeah, yeah. And so when I'm watching you do a really in your terrific in this movie, it plays Enzo Ferrari that you'll be doing this great scene and then Conan will just come up over your face.

And I'm like, that's how imagine you see the world though. My name's coming up right now. But you play Enzo Ferrari and I really knew, I didn't really know anything about him. And again, first of all, the look of this movie is extraordinary. The attention to detail, the clothes, it takes place in 1957. And this is this very pivotal year when Ferrari's company is on the verge of maybe going under. He's got a very complicated personal life.

But you're driving around and the the movie features these vintage 1957 Ferraris. Yeah. I am not a car guy, but I was looking at these just drooling. Like they're absolutely beautiful. Did you get to drive any of these? No, no, they won't let that. They have they have them there. We had like one or two there are $70 million one How much? $70 million Oh my god So they have these cones that are sitting around the car and there's a couple people that their job all day long is just to tell people get the fuck away from the car Get away from the car move on move on move on from the car and then when it comes time to the scene

They roll it in and then they start the car and you know got to touch the engine, and I could have sat in it, but $70 million, I'm like, we're barely keeping it together. I don't want to touch this car, because I have to wind up paying for it. It'll be Ferrari's, Enzo Ferrari's story. So I tried to stay away from it. But then they did an exact replica of the actual cars, where they built the chassis and put the,

and those I would drive, and those are terrifying. Because you're just, you're aware of how they, you know, it wasn't because they were absent-minded that they didn't put seat belts on. It just wasn't part of the, it wasn't part of the vehicles at that time. Then it wasn't, we weren't thinking about it. And the kind of goal was, the ideal scenario

was to be thrown out of the car because you didn't want to be in the car when it was on fire which does make sense. That was the safety precaution. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'll talk and roll. Let's hope that you are thrown free at 120 miles an hour. But don't worry, you're wearing a leather helmet. Maybe. You're right. Don't worry, you're wearing a leather helmet, maybe. You're right. No, and the movie, again, I think what you do so superbly in every role you can bring this intensity in which great is Enzo Ferrari in this film is a very driven man.

I mean, he's literally, he's made it through World War II bombings in Italy and through the rubble, he has managed to keep his car company going. And he's going through all this very complicated stuff. And you are just in the same way, as I mentioned about Star Wars, that your intensity, your focus, comes through in every scene, which is, do not fuck with this guy. Do you know what I mean? This man is gonna get done what he needs to get done. Again, that's very nice.

I have no power in film. My compliments mean nothing and they won't help you in any way. No, he was a very, and he's also, you know, it's impossible to tell everyone's version of who he was because he was very, and I think the movie does this, he was a different person to different people, obviously, as people are. But he is very much also Michael.

Michael is as meticulous and almost wills films into existence, because nothing on set is really helps you to kind of make a movie. You're talking about Michael Mann. Michael Mann, the director of the movie. Yeah. There's also, I'm not going to give anything away, but there's a scene in the movie.

I watched it with my 17 year old son. And there's a scene in the movie where there's, well, there's a couple of scenes where there's some crashes depicted, but there's one that's depicted that his jaw fell off under the ground and rolled around and so did mine. It's absolutely one of the craziest looking things I've seen in a film in a long time. Yeah, I didn't watch the films that I was in for a long time and then the last couple of years I just like, yeah, fuck it, I'll watch it and see

and then the last couple of years, I just like, yeah, fuck it, I'll watch it. And see what that's like. And then... So talk about that. You've never watched yourself, and then you've just started now. Yeah. And what's your experience been?

It's awful. It's awful, until it's not awful. My thing about not watching is, you kind of got to watch it five times to forget the shock of all the mistakes that you made. And then you got to watch it five times to forget the shock of all the mistakes that you made. And then you got to watch it again to be like, oh, okay, now if I remember the circumstances of the movie, then the more you watch it, the more you start to dead

and you start to watch the movie. And then also I just felt like I would be very external about it. Like I try to make it to look a certain way and I feel like playing it, knowing what the internal life is is more, is more important. You did not think you would be ever be a leading man. No, I still, I don't still think I'm like a leading man. I, I think I'm kind of

eking by getting lead roles and movies until they won't ask me to do that anymore. But I was going to say about the crash though, is a New York film festival, I did watch it. We had seen it in Venice and it was strange, but in New York film festival, when that scene happened, I'd never been in a theater ever that had that kind of reaction, ever by people very yelling. It's shocking and crazy looking and.

It's very exciting. It's for the world where, you know, so many films to pick things like the sky opens and, you know, we're used to these action movies were amazing CGI things happen and crazy is happens and you kind of get dead into it. And then I don't know how they did it, but in this scene, it's just kind of mind blowing and it's stuck with me for a long time afterwards. It was really powerful.

And Michael's movies anyway, it seems like if it's a big movie, then it's dumb. Or it's big and it's playing to the lowest common denominator. And if it's an art movie, it's so obscure that no one's gonna fucking watch it. And there's something great about, and I love those, not the big dumb ones, but I like the ones that are interesting also.

But there's something about Michael's movies in particular that they're a great, they're cinematic, they're, it's character driven, which also seems to be a hard thing to find in films now. It's, and it's accessible to anyone. It's not pretentious at all, but it's just 15 degrees to the right where it's just really, you know, he has these moments in his movies, just pure cinemas, just moving images, you know. I'm really proud of being a part of it. Do you, is there something in your career that you've been thinking about, or you aspire to, like a next move, or something you dream about, or do you just take this role at a time and think, I'm just, I'm going from moment to moment in my career. A bit of both. I always had the ambition because it's a director's medium

that it just makes sense to me to work with good directors if you can and be available. So if something happens that you're available to do that. But then I can't really control where that goes. And then also I would say that now kind of biology is taken over a bit where things that I would do in my 20s, that now, about to turn 40, I'm like a little and I have two kids, it's just different now.

Things that I would do before, I wouldn't do now. And now it's more about like I want to be home more if I can, which I know is a luxury. But also because they, I like to kind of be at them from the beginning now. And so that's kind of been a thing that's been dictating what I want to do next. Yeah, it's funny, you mentioned that

because I'm 20 years older than you. And. Wow. Sorry. That's guys, I'm kidding, I'm sorry I know, I know, I'm sorry, you were very nice and I'm just fucking it up No, you said what everyone in the whole room is like, Jesus Let's get this man an ambulance And I'm always amazed that I'm still doing the things

I was always very physically silly and goofy, and I always just assumed that that would go away, you know, once I got into my 30s or a 40s, it just hasn't gone away yet. And I'd still behave in a way, wouldn't you agree that it's like, come on, have some silver spray. Yeah.

Yeah. But I mean, from the outside, it's obvious why you are in the position you are. You have incredible discipline in your brilliant. You have such a... Thank you. That's obvious. It's funny, because we were both... We had a nice moment together where just before we came out here,

they wanted to take some pictures for the Comedy Festival, and you and I both were the exact same, which is we were uncomfortable having our pictures taken. People would think we would love having our pictures taken. And then we started talking about how we love to do what we do. I love what I do. And you clearly are very passionate and love what you do. But then there's this part where you're supposed to look at people.

And I like taking pictures with fans and people. That feels like a real thing. But whenever I'm standing alone and people are like, let's get some photos of you, I feel like an idiot. I feel like an absolute idiot. Nothing, it's very, I don't know. I feel the exact same way. And also, I look mad.

I feel like I'm smiling, but I just look mad all the time. And so I see pictures later, I'm like, I was smiling. I was fine. But it doesn't, then you're tall on top of it and people just think you're furious. But also, you can look really intense. So you're relaxed, like I'm just watching a tennis match or a basketball game or whatever, baseball game. But if you're just let your face fall a little bit, it does look like you're out for murder. It's murder in time. Yeah, and also I'm just not good at it.

I don't like it when they tell me to smile or move over here and I'm like, no, I don't want to. So there's something I don't like. I know. Not good. So there's something I don't get. I know. Not get it. Like a child. Yeah. I don't know why.

That's just, that's the impulse that comes up. Whenever a bunch of people are telling me to do something, I'm like, no, I don't want to do that. Yeah, that's what happened when we asked you to do the podcast. No, not accept that. No, not accept that. Do it. But we tricked you.

Yeah. We told you, this was a restaurant. We tricked you. We told you this was a restaurant. This has been an absolute joy and a real nice surprise for everybody here that you would like to have. To come see us. I don't know exactly when this is going to drop, as the kids say, but for our recent theaters nationwide Christmas Day, and you got to go check it out because it's a great movie. And to say Adam Driver gives a great performance, it's just like at this point, yeah, uh-huh, exactly, because you do.

It's just your money in the bank. I really enjoy watching you and I In a lot of ways admire you. I think you're a very impressive person and very cool that you would spend time with us tonight So thank you. I feel the same about you. Let's hear it! That man is not disappointed. I love that guy. Yeah, and just see that reaction, too. That made me so happy. It's so, just to see the crowd lose it was really nice. Didn't do it when I came out. Yeah. He got a way bigger. I did. He got a way bigger off of it. I see. Yeah, he got a much bigger. And then I had to spend 20 minutes receding people. Yeah. Well, his was also, it wasn't just longer, it was louder. It was so loud.

Yeah, there was an intensity. People were like, oh shit, wow, that's, you know. When I came out, it was nice. Yeah. Subdude. It was like, you know, the inevitable arrival of death. You know what's coming? I'm like, yeah.

Yeah. Oh. There's nothing we can do about it. Conan's coming. He's up there. We know he's going to come out. So let's accept it. People go through different stages.

And then they're like, we accept that Conan's going to come out. Yeah. And that's where we are. Well, we have a very special treat right now. And by treat, I mean, almost in the literal sense, an edible, delicious treat. Okay.

Because if you've been following the podcast, you know that there's been a bit of a contest between the three of us in terms of sandwiches. So a wonderful fellow named Jay at EJ's luncheon net has He said that he would we could each have our own signature sandwich and we got to make up what those sandwiches were Yes, yeah, I don't remember what mine was I'm not a fan of this podcast No, I remembered I think mine was corn beef wasn't that's right

What was on mine corn beef, wasn't it? That's right. What was on mine? Corn beef, Russian dressing. Coleslaw? Coleslaw. I think that's it. Okay. I didn't mean that's it. That's a great sandwich. I think that's it.

I think that's it. Yeah, and a $20 bill. Talked in there somewhere like this. Let us. Sonar, what was your sandwich, do you remember? Mine was a euro with no fucking tomatoes. And it was very specific. It had no space. Because you ate tomatoes. I hate tomatoes. Is it the texture no fucking tomatoes? And it was very specific. It had no...

Because you ate tomatoes. I hate tomatoes. Is it the texture of the taste? Both. Both. I, um, I don't care for it. I think the middle is like boogers. I actually, um, when people eat tomatoes in front of me,

I'm disgusted by those people. Okay. Yeah, you know, you get it. Yeah, a guy gets it. Yeah, I was just eating booger. He also won't write a cab because he knows there's jizz all over it. People are just ejaculating all over this city. They're not.

No one's doing that. I don't know what movies you're watching. It's coded in ejaculate. It's not true. It's unbelievable. That's untrue. And what about you? What was your sandwich?

Mine was a patty melt that we called, well, first we call it the Maddie Pelt, but that was gross. You don't want to eat that. That Maddie Pelt is disgusting. Yeah, so it's the Maddie Melt, and it's on Hawaiian bread, and it has American cheese because it's for patriots.

It's for anybody that considers themselves an American. That was low. Anybody who doesn't eat it would be like a Stalin era Soviet. Nice sandwich is called the cruise chef. Eat it. Eat it. So we also learned, by the way, that there's a finite number of these sandwiches tonight.

Right. So this gentleman brings these sandwiches here. And as a backup, he brought just so many, not that much, but he brought a backup sandwich or two and tell us what happened. I just found out about this seconds before the show. So did I. Our wonderful lawyer here at Team Coco, David Melmid,

just saw a platter of sandwiches and ate one. But the important thing to note is that someone who has to be discerning, has to know what is right, wrong, what is the top of the heap. Chose the Maddie Melt to eat. Oh, he, and that's what he did. He chose yours. Yeah, I don't know. I guys didn't seem that smart to me. Far. Let's, uh, it's great. Anyway, the most very short is we have Jay here. Right.

We get to try out these things. We can try our sandwiches. So why don't we bring him out? Let's bring him out right now. Okay. Ladies and gentlemen, Jay from E.J.'s luncheon at the man that made it all happen. Thanks guys. Thank you very much. Oh my God, these look amazing. These look great. Hi, Jay. Hello. Jay, welcome to the show. And thank you for doing this.

Thank you very much. This is a man who has so many sandwiches. I'll cover it in. I'd like to find out quickly. Maybe you could tell everybody of the three sandwiches is there one that's the clear favorite? Do you want me to lie to you? No, I want to know the truth.

I want to know the truth. I want to know the truth. I want to know the truth. The Maddie Mel. Fuck. What? What was that? I don't know. Why?

Why is it so popular? That was such an awkward stride. That was just awful what you did. I didn't even want to look at it. And that's what happened to your spine. I was strudding. I was, that's not a stride. happened to your spine I was strutting I was I was weird I was victory I was weird I was strutting I'm just strutting down the boulevard you know what all right so I'm intrigued here this is my sandwich and tell us what's on that's that's a good-looking sandwich

everybody that's corn beef that's half a pound of corn beef. Half a pound of corn beef. Coastlaw and Russian dressing. This is a colon killer right here. Oh, yeah. Half a pound of corn beef and Russian dressing. Coastlaw. Coastlaw.

So a pretty simple sandwich. Pretty simple sandwich. OK. Why do you think this piece of shit is selling through the rules? What? It's the Hawaiian bread. It's delicious. It's hard Hawaiian bread. It's delicious.

It's hard to fight. I would also like to say that on the flight in here, I told Sona that we were gonna do this, and we're gonna get to our taste or sandwiches in Sona. You said, can I just try yours? What? You don't remember this?

Try yours? Yes, we said last night she was hot on the flight. Yeah, yeah, I was really hot. I'm not that's good for a high snack. What is your assona? What's on yours? Mine isn't euro, I'm not that's good for a high snack. What is your persona? What's on your mind? I'm already eating it. She's got good Euro meat. That's good. That's good. Thank you. Thank you. Show today and all so to keep saying is we get to eat these sandwiches, right?

Oh, yeah. And you kept talking about it like you can't get a sandwich in your regular life. I said I'm gonna fuck this year. All right. I'm gonna fuck this year old. All right. I'm gonna add just... Jesus Christ. And you won't get in a cab. LAUGHTER Are you not eating it? I think we should have... I think we should have...

That's pretty good. I think we should have a... And someone who's not biased, an unbiased person, maybe from another country, maybe, I think you should come up here. Christopher? Christopher. Come on up.

Christopher, you're going to take a bite out of each sandwich. And Christopher, you can take my seat right here. I mean, one of, I'm just a guy that I'm an usher at this show. That's delicious. I just see people good. Now, you should take a bite of each and then tell me honestly, Christopher, which one that you prefer, okay?

So I'm choosing between the sandwiches, not different here. No, no, not the three of us. Just which sandwich you like. Yeah, just take a bite out of each one. Do it very quickly so you're in danger of choking. What's a huge bite. That is.

Okay, what do you think? That's pretty good. Seemed thrilled, okay. Now, it's American. Oh God. That was too big a bite. I know, I said. You need to take three bites.

It's too big a bite. It's very dry. Well, that's a great dry, yeah. I wish we had something to wash it down. So anyone backstage have anything we that, what do you like to drink? You need to take a big bite. It's too big a bite. OK. It's very dry. Well, it's very dry. Yeah. OK, I wish we had something to wash it down. So anyone backstage have anything we that would you like to drink and not some kind of like groggy or something?

What do you? I like groog and grog and, you know, there's some water right there out of that cup. That's co-net water. And the cup is yours, by the way. Yeah. I'll have security take it away from you on the way out. And then beat the shit out of you if you choose the wrong

sandwich. I actually do like this better. Yes! Yes! Mine's good. It's Greek. It's European. Like you.

Say continent. I'm sorry, this is delicious. Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! to your opinion, like you, say continent. I'm sorry, this is delicious. Help! Yes! Yes! Yes!

Okay. Dan! Dan! You know what? You're a Dan Mark, Dan. No, no one else. You were honest, and you know what? No, your people are very honest people, and you were honest about it.

But you, which was the same with you like the least? And keep in mind that you're not American. Well, I am not American. So it's all right that I say I did like yours the least Madame Mary sorry. Yes! All right, thank you so much. Can we get an American up here?

I, a factual citizen. All right, you can take those sandwiches back to your seat with you. because let's hear it for Christopher Okay, I lost enjoy Thank you very much It's a guy's killing it Jay, where do you come down on this? Yeah, what do you think is the best thing? My two favorite are the corn beef and the maddie melt. Oh, that's delicious.

Okay, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say. It's all delicious. I'm so, I just thought it was delicious. But for me, it's the maddie melt. I'm a burger guy. Oh, okay. You can go now. All right.

No, okay. Shit. Ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it for Jay. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You you very much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

You're a gentleman. Thank you for doing that. Very nice of you to do it. And that's delicious sandwich. It really is. Yeah. I'm glad you guys enjoyed it. You're right.

He doesn't know right me. That's how much I'm doing. I don't know what that is. Yeah. Thank you very much, sir. Let's give that man a hand. All right. What's next, man?

That's good. Okay. We're gonna go ahead. And do some pre-selected voicemails. Nice. These are voicemails, we're gonna listen to. Oh, what are we doing? These people coming down the aisle. And you've got something all over your face.

Not so-called, so I'll say. Ladies and gentlemen, first up, is it Haley Rich? That's correct. Welcome. What is your name? I didn't hear it sauce. There we go. Ladies and gentlemen, first up, is it Haley Rich? That's correct. Welcome. What is your name?

I didn't hear it. Haley? Haley, how are you, Haley? I've been better. It's just not my night tonight. Are you unhappy with your seat? That among other things. What is your problem?

We have this great show. What's the problem? What's going on? No, I'm happy to be here. Oh, I'm very excited. Good, thank you. Thank you. We got you up to a baseline, okay, with things.

I actually just moved here from Boston. I know you're a big Boston guy. Yeah, that's where I'm from. Yeah, from right at my time. I'm in Williamsburg apparently. You live there too. I live in Williamsburg. Yes, you've researched you well.

We're so late. I guess. Do you live in Williamsburg now? Mm-hmm. I do. Yeah, I live there. I think maybe 30 years before your birth. It was a very different time.

Very different time. That's about right. Not such a was a very different time, very different time. Not such a cool place to live, then. It's very, yeah. But, oh, do you have a question for me? I do, I have a question. Okay. So, I was supposed to go to this show with my mom, but she actually bailed on me.

And she bailed, yeah. And you told her it's Conan O'Brien, right? I did. And then she bailed. She paid for the tickets though So yeah, but why did she bail? Let's hear the reason. I'm sure something terrible came up. Oh she's working Oh, okay, she told you I'm gonna get to the bottom of this. What is your mom do? What work is so important? She she cleans houses. Oh, okay, that's a very important job So she had to do that and she couldn't come here.

She had to, yeah. Yeah. Okay. I know there's a question here somewhere. I'm going to keep trying. Yes, yes. I'm going to guess that. I found out where you live.

And we know that and we know that your mom couldn't be here. She had to bail. So what's the question? Yes. So then I was strapped, had to bring someone else, right? So I was wondering who I should bring. So my sister and her fiancee are here, but as my guess, I decided to bring a guy that we've been on two hinge dates, right?

So far, so- I understand they know what hinge is. Yeah. It's what we use back in the day. So you went on a, you've been on the two dates with this guy. Yes, this is our third. OK. and I would just love for you to assess whether we're compatible. Yay! Well, where is this guy? All the way up. Yeah, he looks fine.

Dude, where are you? Can you stand? I can't even see up there. Can you come down? What's your name, sir? What? He's first name, sir? What? First of all, he seems like a rage of Holland. It seems like a very angry young man. He's just South African. What was your name again? Jake, did he say Jake? He said James.

James, right? I think he said James, but this guy's yelling Jake. Shut up. Oh. James. I think he's coming. Oh, there he yelling Jake. Shut up. Oh. James. I think he's coming. Oh, there he is. Oh, there he is. Oh.

Oh, OK. Well, turn around to everyone and can see you. We got to do this. You guys are cute together. Yeah. Yeah, I think you make a really cute couple. Yeah. So tell us, James, is it James?

It's James, yeah. OK, how do you think this relationship's going so far? I mean, it's not a relationship yet. You've been on two-inch dates. Third date? Third date. Okay, take it easy, man. I don't know, you know what I mean? Everyone's got their own timetable.

You're like, third date, man. My parents are in town next weekend. Okay, I think I'm going to introduce her to my parents. Oh, wow! That's quick! I've been married for 21 years, and my parents haven't met my wife. Because I don't want to rush things. Really?

Now, are you ready to meet his parents? Well, he's met my sister in her fiance, and I've had a chance. So what? That doesn't have the same thing as parents? Yeah. Parents love me. Oh, okay. Oh, wow.

Okay, where's the confident? I have a question. James, did you know you were second choice to her mom for coming tonight? Or did you just find out? It was kind of like a last minute. I kind of assumed I was second choice. Okay.

That I was down. I binge watched the podcast. Like I listen to everything. Yeah. I got to know you were gonna do it. Oh wait, so you binge watched it just to get ready for this? Just to prepare, you know. Right, so you don't fucking care about this podcast.

This is homework for you. No good. He's no date night. Okay. No good. That's a man, I don't know's third date night. Okay. No good. That's a man. I don't know. I don't like this guy at all.

We've got people here that fly from all over the world. They listen to every episode. This guy just binge listened to it. Did you listen to it at really fast speed? 2.5. 2.5. Yes. I don't approve of this man.

But I'm going to say no. No, he's not the guy. This is over. This is over. You should find someone who's listened to all the episodes. That's as important. I value your opinion the most. Said like a true robot.

Yeah. I value your opinion. Well, listen, seriously, I think you're a lovely robot. Yeah. I value your opinion. Well, listen, seriously, I think you're a lovely, oh, OK, all right. Oh, Jay. All right. You know what? You guys seem like a very, very nice couple. You really do.

I approve. I say, ready for the next step, meet the parents, OK? And then we'll see how things unroll. You know, if someday there's a wedding, I'd like to be there. Right now. We'll be there. Okay.

What are you doing? Ah! Ah! No! Is he serious? He's on his knees. But what's he holding? I think he's just holding one of his teeth. He's holding one of his teeth.

He's holding one of his teeth. He's holding one of his teeth. Hey, Leritch, will you be my wife? Oh, wait. Is this really happening? No, not tonight. James, is this really fucking happening? James, to clear up your cereal shop.

Is this really happening? Is he doing that for his doing this? He's not. Stand up. What if this is a bit? You're in deep shit. What in a way? You can't do that as a bit.

You cannot do that as a bit. Stay no. It's the longest bit. I'm waiting for him to stand up. Is it? James. What? He barely committed. I think he committed to it. I was He really committed to it.

He committed to it. I was waiting. I was waiting. I was waiting. I was waiting. James, you are legally obligated to say whether that was a bit or not. Am I? Yeah.

I don't think I am. This is over. Get away from this sociopath as fast as you can. He shouldn't even meet the parents. Security come down here and hit him with long rubber things. All right, well we should move on to the next question, but listen, I do wish you, I'm just so confused by what's happening.

I am too. All I got out of this is your mom really doesn't care that much about me. This dude's something's very wrong with him. I just tried to marry you by holding up a tooth and then I don't know what hinge is. I don't know what's happening anymore but I wish you all the happiness you both deserve. Thank you guys. Thank you. Wow. Ashley. I am Ashley. How are you?

Ashley, what was it like to be watching all that happen? Yeah, you were closer. Do you think that was real or not? I don't think it was real. Did you have a ring? I couldn't see. It was like one you pulled off his own finger, I think. Oh, so he's cheap, too. Yeah, yeah.

Well, I proposed with that. It was a mood ring. Oh, joke. Look it up, it's online. Well, tell us, what's your first of all, where are you from? I'm originally from Austin, but I moved in New York like 12 years ago. Cool, all right. Very cool. Well, you seem like a very cool person.

I like your style a lot. I really do. Yeah. Yeah. What can I do for you? Well, first on the style, I wore the shirt for you Matt because it's Star Wars. Oh my God. Hello there. Hello there. Hello there. What's happening? Thank you. I'll handle this. Thank you. And I feel like it's appropriate. I got picked for this one Adam driver I know because like I'm obsessed with Star Wars. Oh God bless you doing the Lord's work I know you love Star Wars Conan. I get that in Star Trek makes up. Oh

Oh, no, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I know I'm not obsessed with it. I think they're fine. They're great. What's the question? Okay, so jumping on to other things that you really love what I love is Clueless gamer and I'm so excited that it's coming back. Guess what? There is a clue is is play anywhere back there Hey, play come on out. What are you doing back there? Yay! Hey play, come on out. What are you doing back there? He might be even assist for me on this. Okay, but first of all, didn't we just what are you doing?

You and Gurley have like fucked up backs Sit there have a seat right here. Okay Fucking weird So we did just tape what would we we do? What do we tape? Because I never know what's happening. Yeah, we just shot one with Starfield, which is really great. Coming out very soon. And he probably saw the teaser where, yeah, he blew up a grandma in the face.

I blew up a grandmother. I saw another ship and it said grandma. And without any hesitation, I blew that lady up. You're playing it right. That was so much fun to blow that old lady up Anyway, um, you have a question. I do so if you could make a video game about your life What type of game would it be and like what would it be about? It would be maybe about getting a decent haircut Yeah, I would like something where I could control my childhood and make things better.

Do you know what I mean? Right in, I had two front teeth were dead, and so I had two gray teeth in front, a bowl haircut. It's all on the shirt. Yeah, we've seen it. We've seen it. And I was such a sweet little boy, and it didn't go well for me. I had a weird name people now that name is becoming more common

But then no one had that name and so yeah, well like a game where I get to like a Sims game where I get to control My childhood and make it a better childhood and I think it would be a form of therapy I would like to have a better childhood and a better adolescence and then I wouldn't be the bitter cruel creep I am today. Let's fair. Let's fair. Okay, that's my game. What about y'all? So, what are you all doing? Oh, we all do? Yeah, so what's your game? I want to just kill a lot of people. Oh. a lot of people. Oh. Like a shooter or like a fight game?

I think I want to like every time someone pisses me off in real life, like I'm like, I just want to kill that person. And it'd be nice to play a video game. It'd be nice to play a video game where I could actually kill them. And then you'd like dispose of the body. I don't want them to just... Wait, then you'd like dispose of the body. I don't want them to just... Wait, you want to go out then dispose of the body? Don't they just blow up in games?

Yeah, but I think it'll be more fun if I can like figure out like, what do I do with the body? So you're a serial killer. Yeah. You're a serial killer. Yeah, that would be my game. I feel like I have a recommendation for you. There's some weird anime games that you can basically do that.

OK, I'll do that. Matt, what about you? My game is I'm on the run from a serial killer name Sonam Obsessed. I've just got to stay alive. Just got to stay alive. Thank you very much. Yeah, thank you. That was great.

That was fun. That was fun. What nice parents. Blair ladies and gentlemen. Thank you, Aaron. Steve. Yep. Hey Steve. How are you? Good. Thank you. Thank you for the past five years. It was a good time to start a podcast. Oh, thank you so much It's your hat. Is it Conan reference? Yeah, yeah, some good time. I'm good time That's your hat, is it Conan references? Yeah, yeah, yeah, some good times. Have some good times.

Oh my God. Such as cool. And is that a zombie Conan shirt? It is, yeah. Hey, you're the real deal. You're not listening. You're not binge listening to me at 2.5. I slow him down.

Just seeking a new hand. You slow him down. Yeah. Yeah. Whoa, there was talk of your balls. So given that you started the podcast right before the pandemic and before all the political stuff, I imagine it was pretty, there's a lot of stories. So my question is, who is going to play you in the movie, each of you?

Oh, the movie of the children's. Oh, wow. That's a good question. I think you're Daniel Radcliffe. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Daniel Radcliffe. It's, yeah.

I think people are thinking, so now you're share. You're gonna be played by share. You're Armenian hero. Oh my dream. You're gonna be played by share. She's like 36 years older than I am. Yeah.

But I think she could pull it off. She looks younger than me. Yeah, and I'm going to be Cape Lanchette. That's a killer movie. That is a good movie. That is good. That's a very good movie. Thank you.

Hey, and thank you for listening, too. I appreciate it. That's very nice. Let's do this, what, yeah, this talk to this woman right here. Hello. Hi. Hi. What's your name?

Nicole. Hi, Nicole. Hi, guys. So my question for you is, it's the season of Giving Right. We're having a lot of friends giving dinners right now. So I have a two-parter. What would you bring as your dish to a friends giving party?

And what does that say about you as a person? I would bring this sandwich right here, because it's the best damn sandwich I've ever had. And it also says that I'm a very self-involved person. You're gonna bring one sandwich to bring this? I'm gonna bring this sandwich with two bites out of it. And then I'm gonna be like, Suck on me, it's my baguette! It's exactly what I'm gonna do.

What are you gonna do? Obviously, I mean, obviously, something Armenian. Okay. Because I'm Armenian. Yeah. So which pressed fruit will you bring? There's more. There's more.

There's more than that. When I went to Armenia with you, that's all they ever offered me. That's more. Go on in, would you like some dried pomegranate? Would you like some dried apricot? And that was it. And after a while, it was like, let me guess.

And they were like, yes, how did you know? Get another dessert. I need it. Anyway, I would bring some dried pomegranate. Ah! Ah! Oh! All right, Corley, take us home.

Oh, obviously, I'd bring something starware. It's a some blue milk and fried womp rat, OK? So I don't know. I don't think I do that. No. Yeah, that sounds awful. Obviously, it brings something Star Wars has some blue milk and fried wamprap, okay? I don't know. I don't think I do that. No. Yeah, that sounds awful. And that's just a two-parter. I always feel that's cheating But what do you say about you as a person? So you said you were selfish? Oh, you're way and also I don't listen This would be the worst friends giving. Yeah. Oh, shut up. They're looking to have me. I'd be like, hey, I got a podcast. Shut up.

Look what I brought. Eat it or don't. What a dick. And then I just drop a mic that I'm not even holding and go, Peace out. Toopuck. Oh, my God. Hi, I'm Sarah.

Hi, Sarah. How you doing? I'm good. So I'm currently a senior in college. Okay. And I was wondering if you could teach a college course on any topic of your choosing what would it be Let's go in the back link on I'm my that and my that transparent. I guess I am yes. Yeah, teach it may be civil war or self-defense yet. Okay teach it may be civil war or self-defense. Yeah, okay.

No one buys it. No one buys that. How about the art of late night comedy on NBC from 1993 to 2009? Oh, starting at 12.35 at night. That's so specific. So specific, yes. And I'd make people watch my tapes over and over again.

Oh. And I'd say, your assignment is to watch them again and again and again. What do you think of that? And while they're watching them, I'd eat my own sandwich that's named after me. Oh, God. Because I'm like, Colligial, I'm a freak at this point. Yeah. That's how I feel like my class would be all like watching something too, like TV or movies and stuff.

You guys are just all being the same hotel room watching the office. Yes. Yeah. And you, what are you gonna teach? Oh, I don't know. I don't want to say Star Wars. Matt, is the teacher. Yeah, James Bond.

I like that you get to, we're getting our, people know the podcast so well, people are just shouting out our answers for us. No one's shouting at me. No one's trying to make me experience people like, the podcast so well people are just shouting out our answers for us. No one's showing any other experience. I'm like, go on and remember the time and I'm like, Jesus, how do they know that? I know that cataloging our lives in ways we can't. Wait, what should I teach?

That's what happens when you ask 3,000 people a question. I know, that was on me, that's on me. Cabges. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha who are going to do real things with it. I know. I think we should say, good night right now, to two people who make this. Yes, there was talk of Jerobles. Thank you, sir. I want to thank both of you for being here. And I want to have this audience applaud.

Son of Obsession. Matt Gourley. What's your word for them? All right, we're going to send you home in style now. Oh, look, a guitar. Hey, this is our last night in Brooklyn. Thank you all so much for being here. You are an absolutely lovely audience.

I do not take it for granted that we have such amazing fans. So thank you very much for being here. I just thought I'd send you home with the tune that Jack White was kind enough to let us use. When I called him five years ago and said there's only one song I want from my podcast. He said no, but we did it anyway. Now he said yes for a nice guy. Paulus, here the backstool ring the bell. Brand new shoes walking through. Pym the fence, books and pens. I can tell that we are gonna be friends

I can tell that we are gonna be friends You know what singing walk with me Suzy Lee through the park and by the tree We will rest upon the ground Look at all the bugs we found Safe to walk to school without a sound Safe to walk to school without a sound Here we are, no one else we walk to school Or by ourselves, there There stood on our uniforms

We're playing with the answer world We clean up and now it's time to learn We clean up and now it's time to learn Here we go We don't notice any time passed We don't notice anything, we sit side by side, and every cloud Teach her things that I sound funny, but she likes the way she's saying Tonight I'll dream, I'm in bed, silly thoughts run through my head Back the bugs and out the bed and when I wait

Tomorrow I bet that you and I will want together again I can tell that we are gonna be friends I can tell that we are gonna be friends I can tell that we are gonna be That was nice It's our next meet-up Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonom of Sessian, and Matt Gourley produced by me, Matt Gourley

Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Nick Leow, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Your Wolf. Themesong by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our Associate Talent Producer is Jennifer Samples.

Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Additional production support by Mars Melnick, talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Khan. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the team Coco Hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. Team Coco Hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode.

And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien, Needs A Friend, wherever fine podcasts are downloaded. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ you