Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Are you ready to make friends?

Episode Date: November 8, 2018

Coming November 19th…The first episode of Conan O’Brien’s new podcast is less than two weeks away. Conan really needs a friend. But does he need a podcast? Turns out he does. If only to find that friend. So Conan's bringing his favorite celebrity guests by the studio for some lively conversations. Look out for episodes with Will Ferrell, Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally, Wanda Sykes, Marc Maron, Bill Burr, Kristen Bell, Dax Shepherd, and more! Subscribe now in Apple Podcasts, Stitcher or wherever you listen.

Hi, my name is Will Ferrell. Hello, my name is Wanda Sykes. Hi, my name is Mark Maron. My name is Nick Offerman. Megan Mullally. Dax Shepard. Hi, my name is Bill Burr. Hi, my name is Kristen Bell, and I feel supercharged about being Conan O'Brien's friend.

Conan O'Brien needs a friend. That sounds like a joke, but it's not a joke. And if I'm going to have friends, it might be cool to have some celebrity friends. And that's what this podcast is all about. Now, I'm not doing this completely by myself. I have my trusty assistant, Sona Movesesian. Sona, what do you think of this? Is this a good idea, do you think?

Yeah, but I'm just wondering why you don't make friends the normal way by just being nice and friendly to people. The nice, friendly is a last alternative. If I run out of every other option, I'll start being nice and having people over to dinner. And you know me, I'm not always an easy person. No. We'll just take a minute. No, not nice.

I think that just being nice to people might be easier than having a podcast. So you should maybe try being nice. But here's the advantage of the podcast. We can sell at time. So you really just want to make a little bit of money. What I want is to make friends, but have commercials jammed in there. You know, I have a lavish personal lifestyle. You're very lavish.

And so if you could make friends and sell mattresses at the same time, why would you not do that? Does that make sense? No. Listen, these are people that would be amazing friends in my opinion. These are people I love, I admire. I think anybody listening would want to be friends with these people. Some of the upcoming guests include Mark Marin, difficult friend, but still. No, I know.

I know the game. You betrayed me. You got, listen, you got Marin, the TV show. Yeah. That wasn't enough for you. Then glow. Right. Okay.

Yeah. You have two TV shows in a podcast. Yeah. That is why I'm starting this podcast. Out of spite. Why should you have two TV shows in a podcast and me just a TV show? Yeah. No, I get that.

Checkmate, I guess. Yeah. I guess I win this round on it, buddy. I guess. You got in at the right time. There's only 90,000 podcasts. Is that true? I was told there are very few of these.

Wanda Sykes. Everyone loves Wanda Sykes. You can tell from a 911 call. Yeah. You can just listen to the timber of their voice. And I go, oh man. Yeah, he did that. What is he talking about?

Because he's usually forcing it a little bit. It's terrible. Or giving too much information. Yes. Yeah. Oh, my wife, I came home and she's on the ground. Because I was at McDonald's and I had the meal number two. And I had the receipt.

And I got the receipt here. And I get home and there's a ax in her forehead. And I don't know how that ax got there. Okay, I did touch it just to see if I could get it out. Dude, you did it. You did it. Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman. You have told me personally stories about the two of you being in nature, in the woods,

fornicating, and that it's this beautiful act and that animals are watching you in Congress. Can I use that term? Coyotes. Coyotes. Coyotes watch you have sex. Mm-hmm. Where was this? It was in a park in off cold water.

Off cold water canyon here in Los Angeles. Yes, we were out on a beautiful camping trip. We were literally in the middle of the city. Oh, so anyone could have opened their back door, seen you two going at it and thrown cold water on you. Right. Mm-hmm. And she knew the park. She may have been there before May.

Yeah, it wasn't my first coyote. I can't walk anywhere in my life anymore without people saying, when does this podcast launch Conan? Well, guess what? The first episode with Will Ferrell drops on Monday, November 19th. So here's my pitch to everyone listening. Let's work together. I did my part. I created what many consider the best podcast ever.

God. It is. It's in the Wall Street Journal. Scientific American. It's in Lancet. Medical magazine. No one's even heard it yet. I'm sorry.

Why'd you have to say that? I'm so sorry. I'm just... What I'm saying is, all you have to do is subscribe. It's really simple. Go to Apple Podcasts, Stitcher. I don't even know what that is. You can go to Spotify.

I'm going to make up a few. You can go to GlobGlob, if you want, and just swipe up and then to the left. Or, I think we're on Doodly Pox now. And all you have to do is make a swirling motion on your phone. And you'll get that. And pay your taxes at the same time. I'm on Rabadab. Did you know that?

Just type in Rabadab. Get that app. And that will lead you to my app, which will then... Both apps will fold into each other and it'll be a time warp. Anyway, do some of those things. And subscribe to Conan O'Brien, he needs a friend right now. It's going to be the best thing you ever do in your life. And I promise you that.

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