Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - B.J. Novak

Episode Date: August 1, 2022

Actor, writer, and comedian B.J. Novak feels excited, but cautious about being Conan O’Brien’s friend. B.J. sits down with Conan to talk about hailing from rival towns, the personal impact of Bob Saget, working on Punk’D, and B.J.’s new film Vengeance. Plus, Conan’s wife Liza stops by to share stories from her new podcast “Significant Others.” Got a question for Conan? Call our voicemail: [phone]. For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com.

Hi, I'm BJ Novak and I feel excited but cautious about being Conan O'Brien's friend. You should be cautious. Yeah. You and I have been circling each other like panthers. Oh, you were circling me too? Yeah. That makes me feel so much better. Oh, man.

Hey there, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend podcast. I think an enjoyable exercise for us. I know that people listen to this and I guess it's thought of as a product of some kind but I think of this as a fun opportunity to sit and explore the mysteries of the mind. What do you think, Gourley? Yeah. I guess there is a certain amount of, I wouldn't call it introspection but sibling interaction between the three of us.

Yeah. I was talking to somebody about the podcast and they were saying, oh yeah, you really go at it with Gourley and I said, well, I guess there's some passive aggression there and he said, well, I'm picking up on the aggression but not no passivity. No. I know. I could do with a little passivity. I'll try.

I'll try and work some of that in. Yeah. But no, it's nice. Let me ask you a question. Sure. Are you excited when you come into work and you're going to do this or are you just sort of neutral or are you actively depressed? Full disclosure.

Mm-hmm. In the early days, I was nervous. Oh, you were nervous? Of course I was. Yeah. Oh, I don't know. Sonam obsesion? Nice.

I see what you're doing. I'm going to be nervous too. No. Will she be cogent? She's not here. We can talk about it. If you have rum and gummies for breakfast. Rummies?

They're called rummies. Yeah. No, it's funny because I'm always in a real good mood when we come in to do this. Me too. I'm happy to do it. It doesn't feel like work and when people tell me they enjoy the podcast, I'm always kind of delighted because I think it's nice that you like it because it's really fun to do.

It's gravy. It's gravy. But at first, you and Sona had a rapport. I was a little afraid because I didn't know how to kind of trade in that. Yeah. Because you were an interloper. Yeah. Yeah.

I think that's what it was. Yeah. We were sort of established and really rift well with each other and it was organic. We're forced into the situation in a way that was just wrong. Yeah. You know what I mean? The voice on how to really stick it to the man. Yes.

That's when I really started to feel like there's a three-way energy going on that I now I really enjoy coming here. Well, you know, it's funny. I was saying earlier that joking that you were forced upon us. You were not. We're delighted to have you because you're an extraordinary voice in the podcast community, which I didn't even know. Well, I don't know.

But every time we have people come on the show, they're like, well, I know gorelly from and then they start listing all these, you know, Fez Weekly and the Magoo Goo report and the Jub Jub Dower with Winky and Doodoo. They start listing all these podcasts, Send in the Ghee, Takes it at Home. You know, incredible list of shows that I didn't even know about, the Cuckoo Hour with Gourls Gourls and Goo Goo. Just for the record, the Fez one is bi-weekly. Okay.

Bi-weekly. All right. But anyway, you're very well known in that world, a subterranean strange world. Yeah. And I'm not. Oh, please. And I'm not. You are.

You are. People know you and they go like, oh my God, it's gorelly. And I go like, okay, you know, really? And then they start listing again all the podcasts that you are a part of. You know, I got a mind and hat, come with me with Matt Gorelly, Gorelly's Wall of Shame. These are sounding better as you keep coming to Hamana and Doodoo with Gorelly and the GubGub report. This is so in my daughter's nicknames.

Yeah. But anyway, and then they go on and on and on about all the wonderful shows that they've heard you do. And I didn't realize how many you've done and how your different animal voices and there's one where you talk about, you know, all kinds of stuff that happened in Roman history. Oh, you wish. I do wish, actually. I'd listen to that.

I like a good history podcast. But anyway, it's very nice. I made my bones in podcasting. What can I say? I made my bones in podcasting. It's the saddest sentence ever uttered. I made my bones in podcasting. I got in 2011.

Oh, 2011. I cut my teeth in podcasting when you were barely shaving height. This is because this reminds me of housing in Los Angeles because I grew up in the Boston area and houses are old. And so, you know, the house I grew up in was built in 1900 and that's just standard. You know, that's pretty standard for that area of, you know, right outside Boston. And then there are houses from the 1800s. There are houses from the, you know, 1700s around Boston.

Some from the 1600s. All the witches. Yeah. Seriously. Really. And still, you know, populating the whole area. So I live in Los Angeles and you buy a house here. I remember we had some problem with our house.

There was like a leak, a pipe was broken or something from a root and the guy came and he was looking, he dug down and he was looking at it and he shook his head and I said, what's the problem? He went, well, you know, the pipe broke that goes into the house and, you know, so that's got to be, we got to get in there and put a new piece of pipe because I see this tree root broke it. And I went, huh, and he said, do you see this much? And he went, well, we see it from houses like this from the mid 2005.

2006. Jesus. And he was kind of acting like, you know, when you get a house that was made before Obama's first term, you run into problems like this. What are you talking about? Yeah. They act like, well, you got one of these, you got one of these houses from, you know, from the third season of Gossip Girl.

You got a 2006. Wow. We don't see many of these anymore. Go out here, buy a house that was built in 2011 and tear it down and build a new house because they're like, oh my God, you should have seen it when we got it. Don't get me started. It's a shame. It is too bad.

I know you live in a magical home, a gingerbread home. No. You do. It looks like a gingerbread home. It's lovely. It's lovely and parts of it are made of gingerbread, I know. No. Yeah.

Marzipan. Well, good improv skills again. No. Cracker. No. That's your improv? My improv. No.

This is you berating me. No. And I, I'm forced to defend myself. Hey, it's the improv team of Conan and Goorley. And let's get started. Conan takes the stage. Hey, everybody. And oh, here's my friend here.

No. I sure love working in this candy factory. No. Goorley, are you okay? You wish you. No. Like all that stuff I was saying about excited to come in here. It's gone.

Goorley, we sure have a difficult boss here. Isn't he funny? Isn't it weird that we have a difficult boss who's half dragon, half ape? No. Am I also 80? No. Well, that's how you say no. Did you hear yourself saying no?

I need Sona here. This is, this is why we need Sona. It couldn't be here because Sona's on a book tour. Yeah. Because that's what happens when you hire an assistant that refuses to do her job. She writes a book about it. It's a big hit and she goes on tour. Welcome to America.

Oh, man. This is fantastic. I can't believe I got to do this. Yeah. I mean, I'm sorry. You are a great improviser. I'm sure you are. All right.

Here I am with my comedy partner, Matt Goorley. Give us a suggestion. No. Hey, your dad came to see the podcast. That's his suggestion. No. I learned it all from him. No.

All right. Well, we got to get going. Let's. My guest today is a very talented writer and comedian who played Ryan Howard on The Office. He's now making his feature directorial debut with the new film Vengeance, which he also wrote and starred in. Very talented guy. I'm excited he's here with us today.

BJ Novak, welcome. You and I have been eyeing each other warily and show business for years and years. Each ready to pounce and attack the other and I feel like finally we're here. I would get five minutes on your show every few years, so I had time to prepare. I guess you did too, though. Yeah, I would always think, damn it, he's not here long enough. He's doing a standup set on my show. I can't really take him down now.

I don't have enough time. Yeah. And sometimes I would try to talk to you either just before your set or afterwards on the set of the old Conan talk show and there was never enough time. I'd tell you, Sona, like today's the day I get BJ Novak and take him down. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

And then you never did. Yeah. And there's a lot of build up. Yeah. Nothing ever happened. My God. Well, they often come at me at the beginning of the podcast. It's quite a phenomenon for me.

Well, I am very, very happy that you are here. You have no reason to feel cautious about being my friend because I think you're fantastic, highly talented, and we have so much to talk about, so I'm glad. Very glad you're here. Now, I will attack you at some point in the podcast, but I want you to relax and start to think this is going well. Of course, you want me to relax and then I'm giving you your strategy. Yeah.

No, we... So you just let your guard down. Did I? No, no, no. That's your advice to me. Yeah. Let your guard down and just relax and bear your throat. Great.

Bear your throat? Yeah. It just means show someone your carotid artery. Oh, okay. Okay. Just put your throat up and then I will attack. I... No, we do have something to discuss right off top of the bat, which is we come from

neighboring towns, towns that are often thought of as rivals. I'm from Brookline, Massachusetts, and you are from Newton. Yeah. Now, I don't know, maybe Newton doesn't feel this way about Brookline, but when I was a kid, we were sort of told that Newton was our rival, and when you guys would play us in football, we were supposed to get all worked up about it like, you know, Newton. What does Newton know? I never got into it.

It was almost like they were pushing it too hard, trying to instruct me to be, have an attitude about Newton, but when I was on the track team, that's right, you don't just got to get a body like mine, when I was on the track team, and I joined the track team because I was speedy and fast, and I thought, this is great, I'm going to be a sprinter. And the first day they told me, you've got the legs of a distance man, you're in the two mile, and I was miserable. But I remember going over to Newton North to run track at your fancy new track facility and being kind of instructed, now we're going to Newton North.

Be careful, because these guys hate us just like we hate them. I was always thinking, what? Where is Newton anyway? I had no idea. Did you have a rivalry with us or not? So there's also the, I don't know how to pronounce this word, is it inter-C9 fighting? There's like, yeah, there's the splinter groups, so I went to Newton South, so our rival was Newton North first, and then Brookline is sort of the bigger problem, you know, it's

very much like a national. Right, it's like if you're a Protestant, you hate a Catholic first, but then when there's time, you're like those Lutherans, you can say it, I can't. Trust me, I just got myself cancelled. No, you didn't. Conan's Lutheran rant was way out of bounds. Lutherans are calling, I have to step down. Step down?

Step down. Step down even further, B.J. I thought you meant as a, from your religion. Step down. I didn't know you held office. I thought you were saying step down, what are you up on? We know how big this podcast is. We read the headlines.

Yeah, as a hobo, I'm stepping down. So you grow up in Newton mass, and we have some things in common, which we come from these neighboring towns. I think of Newton as a weird town. I've come to think of it as very weird. Why is that? Because it seems, you think of it as very normal, and then the people that come from it, Krasinski was in my high school class, Eli Roth, who does, yeah, I mean some very

nice guy, but does some extreme work, Louis C.K. from Newton, and there is a, you think of yourself as normal, but not in Newton. There's some weird legends about Newton that I can't get into on the show. Did Brookline think of itself, I thought of Brookline as very normal in a cool way, because it's like it is a foot in the Boston. Yeah, we're kind of almost, we're almost, we're like a part of Boston. We're on the Boston line. From my house, you can walk into Boston.

You can walk into Fenway. Yeah. That was very cool. I could walk to Fenway Park in about 20 minutes. Put your uniform on and jump in. No joke, I played in field for the Red Sox in 1978 and 79, and no one cared. It was just a time when you could just back then. You had most players you don't hear about.

Not everyone's weight box. It was a different time. There was a time in the late 70s when you could go to a Red Sox game, just spend like, you know, $5 to get a bleacher seat, and then at any point, you could wander onto the field and play. And if you played pretty well, you were eligible for the All-Star game. That was just a different time. It was a different time.

Yeah. And we'll never get back to that. I don't know. I feel baseball's, you know, always in a shaky situation these days. I'm still a fan, but. So you grew up, and we didn't really know each other. And you learned to drive in Newton. Yes.

I went to... That's the first thing you told me the first time we met. The first time we met, and I knew that you were from Newton. You're obsessed with Newton. I kind of am. You are. I think it's a pretty normal town, but you're like, can I just say... I've always wanted to have another podcast in addition to Conan O'Brien's A Friend,

which is Newton Talk. Or just... I think there's going to be a documentary about it. It was going to be Talking Newton with Conan O'Brien, and I keep pitching it to the podcast network, and they're not interested. They should... Newton is like 90,000 people. It's weirdly big for a town that just feels like a very forgettable suburb in some ways.

It's weird. Right. And Brookline is 800 people, and just a little sleepy courthouse in the middle of town. And they all play for the socks. We all play for the red sox. We ride donkeys around. I just like getting misinfranchement out there. Well, we went to the same college at different times, because I'm like 98 years old now,

and you're a young whippersnapper. 75, yeah. But we both attended that university, Harvard University, and you... But we studied different things. I studied comedy, talk shows, and podcasts. What did you study? I should have done that, looking around this room. I studied Newton, and I froze up when you brought it up.

So yeah. No, I did. I tried following your footsteps. Everyone knew that you wrote for the lampoon, which is why I wanted to do that. Right. And I did that. So that... I did.

And you did it because of Conan O'Brien? I did. Actually. Wow, Conan O'Brien. You say that sarcastically, but I did. It was a very well-known fact. I always only find out about that much later on. But I remember reading, and we can get back to me if you want, but I don't think so.

Okay, good. Perfect. I mean, but I also remember reading that you wanted your show to have no topical jokes in the monologue at first. And so that feels to me very much your sense of humor. These evergreen, brilliant, offbeat concepts. And then you, again, get in a situation where you need like President Clinton, like five minutes a night.

But you were great at it. But my God, what pressure you must have been under. Tell us about that. Thank you. You know, I'm really excited. And then I'd like to talk about it. I sound like a guy who's so avoiding. Like I'm some huge secret.

I'm running off the clock. I said, we're going to get to your murder. Yeah. It's like a first date. I'm like, don't Google me. Well, I think it's, we might be a simpatico this way, but topical humor, if there's a really great joke or really great take on it, obviously, I like it. But it was not my wheelhouse and it wasn't the thing that brought me joy.

I always liked it when we did comedy sketches or I could do a remote that was just silly and wasn't talking about that day's news. And so that's still the thing I like the most is just pure 100% silliness. I think that is a beautiful thing is that you're, you were able to, I mean, I've just transitioned abruptly into your work on the office. I thought I was smooth. Thank you. I shouldn't have called attention to it because now it's.

And now everyone's like, yeah, I don't know. Well, everyone. I think it's well known that my former writing partner and really good friend, Greg Daniels. Oh, you consider him a good friend. I'm just kidding. Yes. He talks about your time, of course.

For the purpose of this interview. I'm trying to be funny too here. I'm trying to keep up. But yes, we agreed before the podcast that you would say that I would say good friend and that you would act like it was true. Oh man, you're better at that kind of joke than I am. We have not, we have not spoken in years. No, what I love is my son who has, I think, excellent comedy taste in that he doesn't

like what I'm doing, but really loves great shows. I've walked into the room and he's watching the office and he's mouthing along. He knows it. He has memorized the office. There is a music to it or there must be that people learn it by watching it again and again, the way you listen to a song, I guess, and it has no laugh track and no music to it. So the dialogue, I think, becomes sort of the rhythm of it. But I learned all my comedy lessons from Greg Daniels being in that room and the care he,

I mean, he has these sayings that maybe you have too or I know you guys came up together. Maybe you developed them together. But one phrase was you don't eat your seed corn. Maybe he said that from the Simpsons. Like you can make a joke in which it's like a farming term that you don't sell out a character for a great joke in the moment because you're going to need that character later. The attention to the people, to the realism, he also, in terms of it being evergreen, one time someone mentioned a year and the show was not popular at this point.

And he said, let's try to never mention the year so that it doesn't jar people if they're ever watching it in syndication or we didn't even know about Netflix then, you know, I learned everything from him. You know, I can't believe that you never interned for me because... I turned it down a lot. No. I know how bad you guys want it. Why didn't you want to work for free?

We need that intern. No, but... How? They say that he's so good at inserting. The list of people from the office. I know. It's crazy. Who are from Massachusetts.

I didn't know that was an option. When they were talking about it on set, I felt so left out. I was like, why did my mom never tell me about this? Your mom had to tell you. I don't know. No, but it's like, you know, like other kids go to the summer camp and you're like, wait, I didn't know you could do that. But when I was a kid, like kids went to concerts, I'm like, how did you go to a con...

Like your mom drove you to the Worcester Centrum and waited in the car. Oh my God, the Worcester Centrum, yes. Yeah, I didn't get it. These kids got to Nirvana when I was like an eighth grade, I was like, you can go. And so, yeah, I was like, no one told me you could intern at Conan. Yeah. And we think about it, I think half the cast of the office. Yes.

Interned for me. Correlly interned at the office. I had to have Conan. Damn it. He also had to intern at the office when he first got... That's how low down he was. He worked his way up. Yeah.

All right. Fast. You can play Michael, but you also have to intern for the first year. You have to get Dwight coffee. So weird. And it worked against the character prep too. It was not the right dynamic. Yeah.

So, but you must have... I mean, I know you're friends with a lot of the people that interned for us. Who... What's the list of people that interned for us? Angela Kinsey, Mindy Kaling. It's crazy. John Krasinski. Right.

Ellie Kemper. Yeah. Who all... I mean, am I leaving anyone off? I think that's it. Yeah. Yeah. I think some are going to end up interning for us.

Yeah. Still. Yeah. There's a long road ahead. Podcast. I think Krasinski, when he gets his comeuppance, will be here getting me coffee again. Yep. Yeah.

I loved it the last time I saw Krasinski. I think he had a bodyguard. And I'm thinking, you used to get me coffee and now there's someone here to protect you from me. I don't blame him. I don't blame him either. I'm a very violent man. Yeah.

He's a lot of enemies. I've always heard that Mindy Kaling does this thing that I want to ask you about, which is something that is near and dear to my heart, making up lies that don't really exist for any reason. Just making up a very random lie. Yeah. And it's kind of a way of pranking people. But it's something that's always fascinated me.

I love that as well. And I'm a big believer in that. But can you give me examples? Is it true, first of all, that she wants to do that? Yeah. She hasn't done it in a while, I hope. She told me she really needed money. And I gave her $100,000.

That's how she's so rich. And then she started giggling. Yeah. She told that to Warner Brothers. All right. Sure. Whatever you need. She once on the office told me that there was a female director that had done an episode

of one of my scripts. And I didn't especially like how the direction went. Not a huge deal. But Mindy said that she had used to date Greg. Because the director used to date. The director used to date Greg. And also, we're at like 24. So everyone looked like a grown-up to me, and this woman was way, like 20 years older

than Greg. I was like, oh, OK. All right. And so then Greg was like, what'd you think of her as a director? And I was like, yeah, she was good. And so he hired her back. But I should have said, not my favorite director. And then later I told him, he used to date her, right?

And he was like, what are you talking about? She's like six. No. How would I have? Anyway. That's incredible. Yeah. OK.

This is when someone lies, and the lie doesn't have a point, and then they act like they got you. She never acted like she got me. It was just a private joke, which is even more pure. I have to admire the community that doesn't need an audience, just her and God. OK. I don't know what you're talking about. The community doesn't have an audience.

You've got to score. That feels like a Fellini movie. Yeah. No, I just know that I've been around people sometimes who say, yeah, I'm on my way in today, a pebble shot up from the road and cracked my windshield, I got to get it fixed. And I'll be like, huh, that's too bad. And they'll be like, no, it didn't. But that's not.

Fuck you. Wait a minute. That's apathological. I missed out here. Well, Sony, you've done that to me plenty of times, always with a pebble. I'm sorry, I love that pebble bit, and you fall for it every single time. You fall for it every single time. I mean, the key to it, the pro and con is that it's so mundane, but there's also no payoff.

And people think who would lie about such a thing? Right. Yeah. You did stand up first. Is that right? You started doing stand up. Yes. I wrote for Bob Saget, my good friend.

He was my good friend. I wrote for his show called Raising Dad was my first and it was a multicam. And I started doing stand up toward the end of that because I didn't really like that. And the people I did admire, like Bob Saget would drive up in a Mercedes with his sunglasses and crack a bunch of bad jokes in the writer's room. Everyone would kiss his ass and crack up. He was a very funny guy, but not in those moments. And then he'd zoom off and I was like, well, that's the job I want.

Right. Like, how do you get that? And Jonathan Katz had created the show and he was at home in Boston and he would phone in once a week and a really revered figure, also a friend. And I thought, well, that's what I want to do. And then the other writers in the room would talk about being in a bar and Milwaukee bombing. And to me, being from Newton, as we talked about, that was very glamorous and exciting to me, bombing in a bar in Milwaukee because it's such a sheltered environment.

I hadn't been anywhere. That didn't sound like a complaint to me. So I started doing it as that show started, you know, ending. So you worked for Bob Saget and you guys remained friends, right? Friendly. Yeah. And he helped me out. He got me some stage time.

I adore him a lot. He got me out of the Laugh Factory. I open for him in Vegas. Yeah. Many nice things have been said about Bob as they should be because he was genuinely very, very sweet and supportive. He was an incredible person and a funny person. His stand-up wasn't that funny, in my opinion, but he was just funny.

He was comedy and at his memorial, it's the only time I ever was ambitious to be a good person. Right. I've always thought I'm ambitious in my career. I'm ambitious to make great comedy. I'm a perfectionist about everything I write and I try to be a good person too and I feel bad if I think I was kind of a jerk, but only as sort of an extra, oh, also be as good a person as you can.

At his memorial, the way people talked about him and me, myself included, the way people talked about him and remembered him and it was some of the greatest stand-ups in the world as well as just friends and family. I got that fire in me that made me feel when I die, I want people to have felt that way about me. I want to have given that kind of love and feeling and that's the level that he gave that I was jealous and fired up to be a good person with love in my life. I have felt that before at memorials.

There are times where I'm in a memorial and person doesn't seem that great. I'm there and I'm thinking, I win. First of all, this person died and I'm still alive, but I'm hearing about what they did and what kind of person they were and I think, I got that beat and I've made the mistake of telling that to the widow a couple of times. Well, there's been a lot of comedy deaths of that generation and a lot of them are complicated people. Everyone's a complicated person.

You're right, there have been a lot of people that have passed in the last year almost to an eerie degree. Yeah, and they all were like in the same circle. Who knew Jeff Ross? Comedian Jeff Ross. Of course, as you know, I'm the roastmaster general. Yes. Many people think he's behind because he moves up in the rankings every time someone goes.

Absolutely. And seems to profit from these deaths. Anyway, just putting that out there, he might be killing our favorite comedians, Jeff Ross, murderer. Okay. I don't think that's actionable. No, it is. Right?

I think legally I'm in the clear. No. I just accused him of murdering most of the other comedians that have died this year. Yeah. Yeah. I think we're in good shape. Yeah. And you did it knowing it was false and with the intention to harm him.

Yeah. To harm him and... And I don't think that's... To hurt his career. To hurt his career. But I don't... Listen, I'm not a lawyer. I'm not a lawyer.

I am not a lawyer. Okay. It's either not defamation or exactly what defamation is. Yeah. Yeah. Now, you had this period of time where you were working on the TV show Punk'd. Yes. And I'm fascinated by this.

That was my first on-camera job and that was just still my favorite job I've ever had. And why was it your favorite job? Because I love pranks. I've always loved pranks. That's my version of, you know, Mindy Lies. I actually do the work. Right. Not judging.

Right. She can just say, oh, that person owns Sintai School. Sintai School. Sintai School. I love pranks. And here was a job where a professional team set up the prank for you and you just knocked the pins down. It was unbelievable.

And Ashton Kutcher, you know, this was my, I was 23, 24, I had only been in the writer's room. I'd started doing stand-up a couple of years ago. I suddenly got some heat as a stand-up. I killed my audition and I'm here with Ashton Kutcher, who loomed so large, especially at that moment. Now he's sort of an icon that has graduated, he's been on a fair, but he was just bursting. Yeah.

Like cover people magazine every week. So cool. And I was like this comedy writer still wearing the kind of pleated khakis that you wear when you grow up in Boston. And he was like in my earpiece. I'm wearing those right now, you asshole. What to say to these pop stars that would freak them out. I mean, it was as someone who loved pranks, it was a dream come true.

Now your job as a performer was to play the reality of the prank. Yeah. It was great acting training because you have to be convincing and funny and you get one take. Yeah. And you cannot indicate the joke, which is everyone knows who's worked in comedy. Actually, they don't know it, but they should know it. Don't indicate the joke.

It ruins it. Yes. And you're indicating. And since I've directed comedy, a lot of people show up great actors, great dramatic actors show up ready to do comedy and they don't realize that by that philosophy that we both subscribe to, no, no, no, play the drama, get the comedy deep down, but you play that reality. If you want, as soon as you play the comedy, it's not funny.

Yeah. Well, I think it's what Steve Carell did so brilliantly was he's a brilliant actor. And he played every moment with complete honesty as Michael Scott. He could sell, you could write him the most insane thing for a human being that no human being grills his foot on a George Foreman grill because he wants to wake up to the smell of bacon and then tells his office to treat him as a handicapped person. But when he performs that, you buy it and see how a human being could do that. And he's not rubbing his hands before the scene to say, how do I make this funny?

I think he is deep down. I think he is a writer brain that's coming up with the funny things to say. But then his actor heart is, you know, playing the drama of this human being and this terrible situation in that character's mind. When you were doing these pranks on punked, was there ever a moment where, because you can't break. I mean, you know, you're not supposed to break in sketches, but people do. But if you're part of a prank and you're pretending to be someone who, you know, is a barista

or someone who's working the counter at a restaurant, do you know what I mean? And you've got to play that reality and you can't start giggling or the entire thing is ruined. Yeah. Was that ever a problem? Yeah. I almost never. I'm actually, I think I'm a little too serious when I do comedy.

I think that if you watch the Office of Bloopers, I'm almost never breaking. And I wish I had brought myself to the level of being about to break a lot because I do think a lot of great comedy comes at that teetering edge. But I didn't generally have a problem with that, but I did watch something where I saw my face just bite my cheek to not break. And there was one outrageous, I mean, some of my mom hated punked. There was one outrageous one where Rachel Lee Cook was the actor. And she, they always find like their vulnerability or their obsession.

So she and Jonathan Tucker, who is a friend of mine now, was the accomplice. So he brought her to a restaurant and she volunteered with the elderly. And we got a stuntman to be the waiter, like a forgetful waiter that kept messing up her order. And he was an asshole manager of the restaurant that was abusive to this elderly waiter and screamed at him for messing up the order. And then eventually started throwing him against the wall because he's a stunt guy. And he's like, it's so violent.

Yeah. Watching that, I laugh now because I can't believe that we would do such a thing. First of all, you just described my favorite day ever. It would be a joy for me. To beat the elderly. Yes. Well, to beat up people. It's so funny because...

But to do these things and have to convince someone it's real. Yes, it's real. Like what you were saying, the acting training is this is amazing because you have to be funny enough to, you're improvising because you're making up the stuff. You have to be completely convincing. So the other person in the scene thinks this is the worst day of their life. And it's a high wire act because you have one take. I'm not a natural prankster.

I don't think that's something that I was built for. I worry a lot that someone will get hurt or upset. Yeah, apparently it was not my problem. I just do not have that. But I understand because I grew up with brothers, I've always been someone who likes to rough house to use a term probably no one uses anymore because it's just a cute way of saying physical abuse. But I loved rough housing, still love rough housing.

And so the idea of, yeah, I will rest before this is over and you'll be very uncomfortable. Ben Wilson always wanted to wrestle with me during the office. I understand that. No. I look easy to beat. I think someone hasn't wrestled in a while is like, why don't I start with you and then move on to Wozinski's bodyguard. I want to compliment you because one of my favorite attributes that people have is when

they have an interesting career that has different phases and they try different things. And I think you are a bit of a shape shifter, meaning I think you've done terrific work as a standup and as a writer and as an actor. And I know that you've written terrific books and I just think you refuse to be pigeonholed, which I think is a great, great attribute. I would love to be pigeonholed actually. I wish, and I envy the people that are very famous for doing one iconic thing amazingly. It's just so funny.

The grass is always greener, I guess, but I don't, yeah, I feel scattered. Oh, really? I have. I've come to think, oh, I am me and that's cool. But for most of the time, I'm like, what is wrong with me that I keep needing to do these random ass things? Well, clearly I was wrong. There's something very wrong with you.

Yeah. I think that's what we've come to. No, I don't, I don't, but I think it's very, I mean, like master something, like you work so hard to learn something and then finally, you can really do it. You're talking me out of admiring you. I admire you because you're highly attentive. Well, I'm coming around. I'm coming around to who I am.

Having an interesting and varied career, I don't know what's better than that. And getting to almost be like ambidextrous about what it is you're working on or what you're doing at any one point. You know, I mean, you show up in one of my, I have to say, one of my favorite movies of the last 15 years or decade. Smurfs 2. Smurfs 2. And the fact that you also went to Smurfs 2, please tell me you weren't in Smurfs 2.

I had one line in Smurfs 2. Yeah, it was edited out. Oh, you saw it. Yeah. You saw it for me. I saw it in the theater and then I had it edited out for every other show. That's the kind of power I have in the business. Well, my muffins didn't do it for you.

No, Inglourious Bastards. When you showed up in Inglourious Bastards, I was so happy for you. I was happy as a fan, but I was just happy for you. I won a contest. Yeah. No, no, you were terrific. You were great. Yeah, no.

I mean, as a life experience, that is one of the things. If I woke up tomorrow and I was like, this whole thing had been a dream, I'd be like, yeah, that was weird. How did I ever get to do something like that? To have a scene, this great scene with, I mean, I think Hans Landa is one of the most compelling characters in a movie that I ever because he's an absolutely terrible person who's charming. And he loves his job and the love is bursting through his performance.

That's the secret weapon, I think. Yeah. Christoph Waltz as Hans Landa, I love, and he enjoys the milky drinks, the opening scene when he's in the French firm house and he drinks the milk. God, he loves that milk and he really does love his job and he's terrible. He is a Nazi who is, I mean, really one of the most iconic, terrible people you can imagine in a film and yet, boy, does he love the strudel that they serve in the restaurant and you've got to wait for the whipped cream and the fact that you have that, you and Brad Pitt

have those scenes with him where he's interrogating you is so fan, I mean, I can't imagine what that must have been like. You know, alone, but yeah, I would be picked up in a van, you know, lived in Berlin and a van would pick up, I was first and then Christoph was second and the two of us would be vanned for 45 minutes together to the set where Brad Pitt would be and, you know, he would make, I don't know if I can still do the voice, but he would make these, you know, he would recommend book. He's a very erudite guy, which is scary when you've seen the movie is like, have you read

this book on short stories, you would love it to be Jay, you know, and he was a wonderful guy, but we would, and so that, I mean, not alone that experience, then you get there and it's Brad Pitt in a white tuxedo, how's it going guys, like it was just a dream, absolute dream. Yeah, I, and, and I mean, I think I've watched that movie probably 600 times, but you have a two shot, it's the last shot of the movie, which is great. Yeah, I was at Universal Studios for the Halloween Horror Nights, which I go every year, I love that thing.

And they were playing sort of braggy universal highlight reel of like iconic moments and that was in it. That was in their reel of like great universal pictures moments. And still you're not satisfied with your career. I didn't say that. You son of a bitch. You son of a bitch. You bastard.

How's it work? I want to talk to you about this new dark comedy you've done, Vengeance, which you wrote and directed. First of all, I've never directed anything, I don't even know, I don't know what directing involves. I honestly don't. I would get obsessed with getting the Jodhpurs, like the end of the, you know, the iconic director.

Those weird pants? Those weird pants and the writing prop and I would want a, I would want a 1920s bullhorn. I've got quiet everybody, quiet. Now let's go. I've got some amazing advice about directing before I directed and the best piece of advice was something that will both sort of reassure you and challenge you if you ever wonder could I direct. It was which dancers you can, but Al Ruddy who produced The Godfather, a good friend

of mine is his daughter. And I told Al I was going to direct and he said, you only need to know two things to direct what you want and how to get it. Oh snap. I mean, and that's a hundred percent true if you can. And then another director, Lee Winnell. That's everything by the way. It is everything.

That's not fair. It is everything. You've got it. It's everything. What you want and how to get it. But both of those are hard to know. You often don't know what you want and there are directors who don't know what they want and there are people in relationships who don't know what they want.

It's actually harder to know what you want than how to get it. Now plenty of people know what they want. They don't know how to get it, but I think people like you and I who are very logical people often it's especially the first part is the harder part. So vengeance, you must have been working on this for a while because you direct this, he's starring in it. It looks hopelessly out of date. It looks like it was made in the 40s.

Yeah, it's really commentary on Obama's first term. How did this project come to be? Was this your concept? Yeah, I had this idea. The story is about a podcaster, an aspiring podcaster, which I find especially authentic. That's really funny. Yeah. If only I could get a microphone.

Yes, yes. He's a journalist and not an unsuccessful one, but he wants to be sort of a voice he wants in Issa Rae as this producer that he knows. He really wants to get a show on her network. He has a shallow life, dating a bunch of people. He's a guy who thinks he's cool and it's kind of a little sad and he gets a call in the middle of the night from this voice with a deep text and accent that says your girlfriend is dead and he's more surprised by girlfriend than dead.

And he goes down to the funeral and the family apparently thought he was really close to them and then the brother, played by Boyd Holbrook, feels they bonded a lot and wants him to help avenge her death. And that's when the dark comedy turns in a way darker because he thinks I'm going to make a podcast about why these people want revenge, about what's the meaning of vengeance. And then eventually he gets caught up in that story. So it's a bit of a fish out of water culture clash movie, but it's also kind of a Western, kind of a vengeance movie.

So obviously we've talked about, we both come from these goofy towns in Massachusetts. By the way, I used to say I'm from Boston until I saw Walbergers. I've seen every episode of Walbergers and I'm like, oh my God, I am not from Boston. Like if I ever ran into any and Mark Walberg was like, are you from Boston? What part? Well, you know the thing is Mark, I was like, this is the most exotic place I've ever seen. That's Boston. So I'm from Massachusetts for sure.

Yeah, exactly. I'm from Massachusetts as well. Walbergers is, I have seen, it is a fascinating show. Anyway. Is it still out there? No, but you can find it. All right. It's like Nathan for you.

It's going to build. If you take one thing away from this episode, it's watch Walbergers. So the thing about Walbergers, anyway. But yes, Alma, the mom thinks Donnie Walberg is like the biggest star in the world. And then Mark is still trying to ride his coattails. Yeah, she doesn't know. And like there's no convincing Alma like, and Mark has this huge ship on his shoulder. He's so competitive.

He's the youngest of I think nine or 11 and he's always trying to best his brother still on the show. He sets up these whole episodes to show how he can kick his brother's ass in golf. And it's like, you're Mark Walberg, but he's just, he won't stop. Like the show doesn't know what it's really about. They think it's about a restaurant, but it's about these unbelievable family dynamics and what powers a phenomenon like Mark Walberg. But yes, it's always, it's always about the hamburger.

I'm here to plug a message in line. I'm here to plug a canceled A&E show is my point. Donnie's bigger for me. Yeah. Because I'm a big NKOTB fan. So yeah, he's where it's at. Mark is never going to build up. So my parents, you know, they've had the same house in Brookline that I, you know, basically

they took me home as a baby and it's just the house that I've been in my whole life. My parents have been there and all my brothers and sisters. And when New Kids on the Block was a huge phenomenon in the 80s, late 80s, late 80s. New Kids to us is like what Billy Joel is if you're from like Long Island, for real. Yeah. Yeah. There's stories, there's legends, no, for real. So anyway, Donnie and I think two of them bought a house in Brookline, this nice part

of Brookline and they had this house and they live there and girls used to hang around outside the house to try and go see New Kids on the Block. And when I got my late night show, 93, there's still a big deal. Yeah. A year or two goes by or three. I was always kind of wondering, huh, they've got people hanging around outside their house. Yeah. When are people going to start hanging around my parents' house?

Oh, you thought that was going to happen. I thought it was going to happen and then once, once, there was some, like... So you're hanging around outside to see who comes by? There were two teenagers hanging outside our house and my parents told me, there's some people here that want to come to say hi to you and I went, wow, I guess, you know, and I went out and they said, yeah, we were hanging outside the New Kids on the Block house for a long time and they didn't come out. So we got really bored and came over here.

Oh, no, you got their left over. They literally like, oh, we didn't even need you to come out. Well, I'm here. Do you want some pictures? Yes. Do you want some pictures? No, we're good. Do you know how we could get into the New Kids house?

I really don't, but I could take you guys out to lunch. No, we've eaten and we're lactose intolerant. Oh, do you want to come back later? No, we're good. Conan, invite them in. Man, they don't want to come in. They want to hang around the New Kids on the Block house. In 99.

In 99. Yeah. Oh. Anyway, that's my story and tells you where I'm coming from, but how do people see vengeance? How do... In theaters, July 29th. It's coming out. I just want to make sure we get the date, because I don't have a date here, but I want

to make sure people know that July 29th, they can go and see vengeance. Yeah. I have to say, I think you are to be commended. Oh, and you know, Ashton is in vengeance, so it's like Ashton Kutcher. It's like this punked. And there was a headline that said, BG Novak and Ashton Kutcher didn't punk anyone on their vengeance. It's like, is there some punked fan that is just like, what the fuck?

Yeah. That's one of those headlines that's not helping you, because you don't need that. I think it is. It made me feel so, like, again, it felt like some punked fan had been waiting for this. Right. And like also, you've been like any junket, any press interview about any project TV show movie you work on, everyone, and it's George Clooney has to blame for this. Because I was like, did you guys prank each other on set?

Pranks are so hard to come up with. Yeah. And it's like, no, I didn't come up with any brilliant pranks on set. Like again, Clooney, I bow down, but like now they all think they're going to get these amazing stories and they don't. But like, if anyone should have had some pranks, it would have been us shooting during COVID, like leave us alone. I know.

It's hard enough. And then also all the pranks that I would think of would get someone hurt, you know, it'd be things like I switched her lemonade with pure ammonia. Oh, Jesus Christ. You did what? You just told us about a brilliant prank. Burned her throat. I know, but I didn't think of it.

I'm just saying, my writer's side of that one, I just don't have a prank mindset. I don't either. I don't know how. When we were in camp, we tried to like do that kind of stuff, but it was always like surround wrap the toilets that the pee goes back on. That is a good one. But you can see the surround wrap. Oh, I've never done it.

I just always thought. And then there's also put the pepper inside a little bit of napkin in the salt shaker and vice versa. Those are pretty harmless. I'd like to. Not brilliant. I'd like to work in an OR and prank the surgeon, like put saran wrap over the open wound. So when he goes to section it, it gets it's a saran wrap.

You just want to kill people. Yeah. This is how the cyanide Tylenol thing started. So you know, it'd be hilarious. It was a prank. They think it's going to solve their headache. It does, but not in the way they think. Mr. O'Brien, this court would like to know why you thought it was a prank to replace the

brake pads on his motorcycle with pieces of brie. Your Honor, I have one question. Did you laugh? You got to admit when you found out after he was dead that it was he had brie for brake pads. Did you laugh? I did. We find Conan O'Brien innocent.

That should be a thing that if you make the judge laugh, you're immediately a mistrial is declared and you're set free. Yeah. I love that. We would, we would do well with that. Comedians would. Yeah. We would do great.

We would just be killing people left and right and then keep calling us into court. And then. Mulaney is like a serial killer. Like it's a way to flex. It's like, you know, he killed 14, he thought, oh, he's getting off. This is your 15th appearance before this judge. Would you like to say anything before a sentencing? Yes, I would.

You ever notice and then. Yeah. I want to talk about the salt and pepper diner. It's like, he's dismissed. He's dismissed. You're free to murder some more, Mr. Mulaney. Well I think. Can't wait to see you back here.

I don't know. I think you have the cat by the ass as no one has ever said. That's from your focus group. Yeah. No, I think you're, I mean, you're writing, you're directing, you're acting. The world is your oyster. What does that mean, though? The world is your oyster is a real one.

I know, but what does it mean? I just, does any, guys, jump in, you open the oyster and then there's the pearl. No, no, no. He's asking, oh, are you asking what is, what? What does it mean? The world is your oyster. I mean. Yes.

What does it mean? Why is it good? The world's your oyster. I think back when people prized oysters. I know the feeling. The whole world is, it's a heart. It's, I mean. The world's your oyster.

I have another question, my final question in my interview of you. What is or are gangbusters because we're going gangbusters or they played like gangbusters, but is it like from prohibition that like gangbusters would come in and they'd like, they'd set it all on fire. Like, wow, that was a show. I don't think so. Everybody died. I, first of all, I'm going to go back to my initial compliment.

You are a very talented fellow. People like and respect you. You're doing great work. You are a talent and you're finding new ways to express yourself. I can't think of a better compliment for someone. You know what? I think that's true. I'm being sincere for a second.

I think that's all true and I know that you were wishing that you could be pigeonholed, but I'm glad that you're not. Well, thank you. I have circled you for years. I love being on your show and I am happy as a clam. Okay. Well, what do you mean? Now we're screwed.

We're screwed. The world. Yes. I'm as happy as a clam. This is special day. We have a surprise for our listeners. My wife, Liza, is here in studio. Little applause, please.

You sound like little church mice. Liza's here because she's been working on a project that I love this project and people say, well, you're biased, but I'm making it clear I am not a fan of my wife. Oh, okay. Yeah. Well, we are. I know. Everyone else is.

Everyone I know, as Sonia loves to say, the only, what, your favorite? My favorite thing about you is Liza. Yes. There you go. Yes. Yeah. And that's the sentiment that I get from most people as they say, you're annoying, but we love your wife.

I'm like, okay. It fills me with rage. It fills me with rage because it's my parents that are saying it, but Liza, welcome first of all to our little studio. Thanks. Yeah. Nice to be here. Nice to have you.

Not at all weird. Yeah, I don't know. I just love that we're not, we can't shout at each other because, you know, there's company here. Give us a minute. Yeah. Give us eight seconds. Sonia, I think we should leave.

Yeah. Liza, you're here today because you've been working on something that I really love and I'm excited about it and very proud as your goofy partner in life that you have made this really cool podcast that we're going to share with people called Significant Others. That's right. I'm so afraid to make a mistake. Why? You got this, buddy.

What's that? You got this. Well, because, you know, later on I might hear about it. Likewise. Yeah. Exactly. We're both on absolute terms right now. Yeah.

Best behavior. I know. This is so fun. Yeah. Use your I statements. Always say I feel. Don't accuse anybody of anything. Hug a pillow if you need to.

There's water. And drinks. Okay. Well, I think that you've made this very cool nonfiction podcast. My favorite podcasts often are that I listen to because I don't listen to this one. Not a fan of mine, but I love any podcast where I can learn something, whether it's history or literature. And you came up with a very cool idea, which I will throw to you so you can explain what

Significant Others is all about. Thank you. I'll see if I can. It's hard to describe. It basically is about sort of looking at people who are just outside the spotlight of history, essentially. So I've always been really interested, even before I was married to Conan, about what it was like for people who were married to the people we read about in history books.

So what was it really like to date and be married to President Lincoln, for example? That's sort of the genesis of it. And as I started collecting more and more of them and asking people, is this anything that anyone else would be interested in besides me, Conan was one of the first people to say absolutely. I would absolutely listen to that, which was, I mean, if you hadn't done that, I don't know if I would have pursued any of this. So either thank you or it's your fault.

It's my fault. It's my fault. We'll see. You cover these great people and things that I didn't know because I knew about, obviously I think I knew somewhat about Gandhi. I certainly knew about Lincoln. I thought I knew about Virginia Woolf. And then you find out about these other people in their lives that were pivotal, not always

for good, which is fascinating. This is not the story every time of someone who is saving the day in any way, a secret hero. It's both. They help and they don't help and they influence the whole game as everyone does. No one is an island. You've been my first reader of the scripts often and first listener to the scratch tracks and you're a very good editor.

That's nice. I know. I know this is like sober. You guys are like, oh, this is all so, so nice. This is so nice. No. It's good. I want to know about the bad stuff.

Is there murder? Oh, in the podcast? Yeah. Oh, I thought you meant in our lives. Oh, is there murder in your life? I don't help out a lot. I feel very entitled when it comes to cleaning up the kitchen. I've gotten a little better.

You're much better. Much better than I used to be. But it is. I used to say, well, I'm done and now let others handle things, was my declaration at the end of every meal. Now the dishes end up near the dishwasher. Still not in it. They're moving closer.

Still not in it, but near it. They're moving closer. Okay. They're moving so much closer. Progress. For example, Gandhi is someone who I mean, I just, I don't even think of Gandhi as being in a relationship because he's been, he's become such this wholly revered figure that he's almost, you know, God-like.

And then you have this great show that you did about, am I saying it correctly, Kosturba? I believe so. I can't tell how to Americanize it exactly and I don't want to sound like I'm trying to do a bad accent. So I say Kosturba. I may also say some other random pronunciations, Eduardo's smiling because he's the one who's been trying to manage all the different variations that I have randomly. So Eduardo, you are always in the room when these are being recorded, are you not?

Oftentimes, yes. Okay. Because Liza comes home crying sometimes. Oh no. So mean. And she's, yeah. No, no. She's saying, why couldn't I have married that man?

Oh. Right. Right. Now that's a man. I bet his dishes get all the way to the dishwasher. Yeah. That's right. The bar is so low.

It's a pretty low bar. So low. So, and this is the other thing too that I really like about it, which is I know some people can feel, well, this might be too highfalutin for me and it really isn't. It's storytelling. These are really good stories. And afterwards, I feel like I was told a great story, but I also feel nourished because I learned something.

And to me, that's a great magic trick to be able to pull off, but the Tolstoy's, Gandhi, Mary Lincoln, Nabokov's wife Vera, Maya Angelou, and James Baldwin, who I didn't even realize had this incredible connection, Molly de Thatcher and Ilya Kazan, Virginia Woolf, Dr. Spock. I mean, this is great. Yeah. Their surprises in all of them. My favorite thing, like yours, is that it's not all good or all bad, that these are really

complicated people and complicated relationships. And in this era of sort of reexamining historical heroes, I sort of love that when the reexamination can be incredibly complex and nuanced and that it's not just, hey, guess what? This guy was secretly an asshole, although, guess what, a lot of them, a lot of them weren't it wasn't so secret. I'm publicly an asshole. Right, exactly. And I think that's where I've got everyone fooled.

We've got a lot of people voicing things. Nick Offerman is Leo Tolstoy, Megan Mullally, Sophia Tolstoy, Tim Allefant, Rita Wilson, Jamila Jamil, Darcy Cardin, Lisa Kudrow, Paul F. Tompkins, I mean, it's... We're very lucky. Yeah. I called in every possible shit that I could. I don't think anyone's ever going to take our call again, so, again, you're welcome. Including Gorley.

Yeah, well, yes, including Matt Gorley. Oh, that's right. Gorley, what part did you play? Right. I play a reporter in the Lincoln episode. Isn't that right, yes. When you're describing in great detail Mary Lincoln's, the shape of her head. Yeah, it's a really, really misogynistic sort of slam of Mary Lincoln, and yeah, it's crazy.

And we naturally thought of you. Yeah. You were perfect. I love it. They brought you in. Why has it brought you in to be the creep? Yeah. Lincoln episode.

Yeah. Was there one thing that you learned that just really shocked you? There are a lot of really fascinating moments. I don't really want to spoil anything, but, and, and one of the, and you didn't know Lincoln was shot. It's true. Guys, I really learned a lot. Did you know?

He went to a theater? It's so crazy. Hey, spoiler man. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I don't want to, I mean, everything was, you know, surprising at a certain point. I think the Dr. Spock episode might be the most surprising to me. A lot of your fans might not even know who he was because he's so young. I was so excited about that because I was raised on that book.

Me too. Yeah. Yeah. And it's a real generational divide. Like I bet you could find the exact number above and under where people do or don't know about him. But it was a big, Dr. Spock was the child care guru. Care guru.

Yeah. Not the Vulcan. Oh, you know what? We have his book. Yeah. And it was, I think in the 50s, 60s, 70s. He was the love. The book came out in 1946.

Same year. My mother was born. Wow. And it revolutionized. There's a great quote by a guy who wrote a profile in Asquire in like 86 when Spock died in 98. So it was like toward the end of his life, but not all the way at the end. And he was like, this had such a profound influence in such a quiet way because it was

these articles that he was writing in women's magazines that were lying around, you know, hair salons and nothing else has affected so quickly and so vastly how the world regards babies and handles them and raises kids. And, you know, so there's all this stuff about like he created the hippies, he was the responsible for the me generation. There's been a lot of backlash. The feminists hated him for a while and then he changed some stuff and got back in their good graces.

And meanwhile, you know, his own family was kind of a disaster. Yeah. But whenever someone writes, here is how to parent a child. Yeah. You're asking for trouble. Yeah. Within 10 minutes, they start, those kids start killing people. And he wasn't like, he wasn't a big, like he didn't have the kind of ego that a lot

of experts have. He was very ready to revise what he had written and to collaborate and he didn't want to own it and be right all the time, but then there's this just point where he couldn't take his own advice. Anyway, it's, it, that one to me is really fascinating. He's playing Dr. Spock. Uncast as of now. Oh my God.

Wow. Just to be intentionally confusing. Can't do it anymore. Yeah. Well, he's passed on. Who's he after? Who? Oh, Zachary Quinto.

Yeah. Oh. Yeah. It was just funny to me. If we got Zachary Quinto, who plays Spock now. That's a great idea. And to play Dr. Spock, but, but then do a lot of disclaimers up front. Zachary Quinto will be playing Dr. Spock.

It's not that dark. We know he plays him. Just I love unnecessarily confusion. I'm going to ruin your podcast. No. And so his, his son, one of his sons said that when Dr. Spock from Star Trek became a thing, he was so relieved because suddenly there was another, when people would see his last name and they would say, are you related to Dr. Spock?

You know, and he would just like, I don't want to, because he's then the living test of his dad's, you know, work. And so when they would say, are you related to the Vulcan? He'd be like, yes, exactly. That's what I'm related to. So that's why I root for Conan Gray, you know, the pop star. I just want him. As do our children.

Yeah. Exactly. I'm tired of being that Conan. Oh, you're okay. Yeah. Yeah. Significant others is available right now. It's, it's already out.

A new episode of Significant Others drops every Wednesday with bonus episodes the following day. So be sure to subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. I really do love it. And if I didn't, I'd be very good at avoiding the topic. This is true. Yeah. But I really, I'm a huge fan.

You'd be a lot nicer to me right now is what would be happening if you hated it. Oh, interesting. You would be praising it up the wazoo, right? Yeah. So every time he's nice to you, it's trouble. Be careful. Yeah. Interesting.

So check it out. Yeah. Then good. Okay. Significant others. Oh, are you going to write a little theme song for me? Yeah, I should. Significant others get along, but sometimes they don't.

Wow. That's an awful song. That's so bad. Yeah. That was really bad. You can't even fix it. Yeah. There's nothing you can do with that.

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