Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Car Talk

Episode Date: February 1, 2024

Conan chats with Jonah from Tupelo, MS about selling used cars, tattoos, and Conan’s go-to universal sales pitch. Wanna get a chance to talk to Conan? Submit here: TeamCoco.com/CallConan

Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com slash call Conan. Okay, let's get started. Hi Jonah, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan. Hey Jonah. How's it going? We're doing great, how are you?

I'm doing well, I'm doing well. It's great to finally get to talk with you guys. Tell me Jonah, where are you coming from right now? I'm coming from Tupelo, Mississippi, which is the birthplace of Elvis. That's right. Elvis Aaron Presley, born in Tupelo, Mississippi. That is very cool. I believe 1935.

And his house is still there. Is that right? That is right. He has a whole section dedicated to him, kind of in one corner of Tupelo. But you know, every corner you turn, there's like Elvis Graffiti. I mean, he's just ubiquitous. He's everywhere. He's yeah. Yeah. Well, he is one of the biggest stars of all time. I keep trying to get my hometown of Brookline, Massachusetts

to commemorate something in my honor. Nothing. Oh, absolutely nothing. And I said I'm kind of the Elvis of, and then I can't even finish the sentence because I can't think of anything. So I wanna put a Conan sticker and they painted right over it. They painted over it, yeah.

There was a Conan statue for eight seconds. It was made of butter and a car drove through it, smashed it. So Jonah, what do you do? What do you do for a living? Yeah, so I'm a used car dealer. The business was passed down to me from my granddad who pretty much retired out of it in 2020.

And so ever since then, we've renewed everything in my name and I've kept it chugging along. Do you like being a used car dealer? I do. I do. It's rewarding for sure. And also I like to be able to just kind of not have a chain of command. You know, I can kind of just do whatever I'd like to do.

So especially with just being able to raise my three year old, she comes in to work with me. Yeah. That's so nice. So you're your own boss. You sell used cars. How many cars, used cars do you have right now? It's a very small lot.

I typically keep five to 10. I think currently I have seven in inventory and then I have two out in the shop right now getting painted. Jonah, let me ask you a question. Let's say I tomorrow, because I could jump on a plane. I can get to two below. There's a direct flight from Burbank.

Yeah. Can I, and let's say I wandered onto your lot. Is there a car on your lot that you would put me in that you think I'd be a good match for? Is there a car on your a lot that you would put me in that you think I'd be a good match for? I don't think that I would have anything currently that you would be real interested in. But you know I could put you in one of my cars and we could just kind of tour around the city. And you know I could show you all over to show you all those Elvis faces. Oh that's wait that's right. Elvis faces. Oh, that's great.

Wait, that's great. No, I don't think I... That's cool. No, first of all, I've owned all kinds of cars. I had a 73 Plymouth Valiant once. I had an Asuzu Opel that I bought used at LAX. I had a Ford Taurus. I've had many kinds of cars.

I've enjoyed them all. I'm not a car snob, so I'm, you know. You might have a car that I would really like, but I really liked the way you just said hey you could just hop in the car and we could go for a ride you're you seem like a very nice chill person do you get that a lot do you people tell you that yes they do I usually just try to keep a very calm demeanor in any kind of situation wow you're like the opposite of me. Yeah, yeah. It's so cool. He really is.

Honestly, he really is. It's like I found my I found my opposite because you're very relaxed. Yeah. And and you seem like you take life as it comes. Yeah. I've never done that. I fight every day. I fight the day from the minute I wake up to the minute I go to sleep. Just battling it, battling time, battling my own existence. Sorry, it's got really intense. No, it's funny because a lot of people will say that I'm the opposite of like how a typical car salesman would act, a lot of them, you know, they're very direct

and they're, you know, they can be kind of pushy almost. Right, they can pressure you. I mean, I asked you outright, if I come to Tupelo, what car would I buy? And you went, oh, I don't know if I have a car for you. Maybe I'll just drive here around. Yeah. I mean, you're actually losing money on there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, don't worry, I'll pay for the gas. I mean, you're actually losing money on the hill. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, don't worry, I'll pay for the gas. I'll buy you some lunch. I mean, you do seem like someone who if I showed up, you wouldn't put any pressure on me at all to buy a car. No, not at all. I just, you know, I try to, honestly, it's kind of, it's almost like a sales pitch.

To just say, you know, hey, no pressure, check it out. You know, if you want it, you know, take it home with you. And so people really, you know, people like that, you know, they don't like to feel like someone's just being right over top of them, you know, about, you know, a vehicle or anything really. So that's kind of my approach with not just the sales, but just kind of life in general,

just take things as it comes. I bet you you're the kind of friend that would pretty much do anything for anybody. That you seem like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I try to, I try to be there for anybody who needs me pretty much. So I can't get past the fact that you bought a car at LAX.

What the hell happened there? I know, I know. It was years ago, my writing partner, Tom Greg Daniels and I, when we first came to LAN 85 and didn't know anything, there was like a, you know, I think a company called Renterec. You could rent a beat up old car and we rented it.

And then not knowing anything said, how much would it be just to buy this? And the guy looked at us like, you're kidding, right? This thing's barely a car, but we bought it for, I think like $700 or something. Which one was that? The Asuzu Opel. In 1977, Asuzu Opel, and it had a sticker on the back

that said, I heart my, and then the head of a poodle. And we couldn't, and it had a sticker on the back that said, I heart my and then the head of a poodle. And we couldn't, and it had a racing stripe, a four cylinder car with a racing stripe, a four cylinder car with a racing stripe, which is like, it is like, yeah, it's like putting a spoiler on a turtle. And we drove this car around and then I bought it from Greg. I was like, that sucker let this thing out of his mitts. And we drove this car around and then I bought it from Greg.

I was like, that sucker let this thing out of his mitts. You bought him out? I bought him out. And then didn't understand why I'd like try and, you know, I'd take a young lady out on a date and should get in the car and it looked like a family of six had been murdered in the backseat with a machete. The seat was so, anyway, this is a car even you couldn't sell, Jonah.

And I drove it around LA for about two and a half years. Jonah, what's the strangest car you've had to sell? Is there any oddities or anything? There's not been anything that's just really stood out. However, what comes to mind with that question though is my my granddad had this limo at one point. He had purchased it from from an auction and so he had a limo and he sold it to somebody but I just somebody come up and wanted it. You should drive around in a limo but you're driving. Yeah. Oh that'd be great a stretch're driving. Yeah, oh, that'd be great, a stretch limo. Yeah, but.

It'd be funny if I bought an early 80s stretch limousine that had been used for like 600 proms, and it has 140,000 miles on it, but I drive it. Yeah. And then every now and then, Stonie, you stick your head out the sunroof and go, woo! I would love to be the woo girl.

I've done that. I'm booted. And then I'd be looking for a low bridge. Oh, come on. Come on. Oh, it just grazed the bun of your hair. That's all. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Now it looks like you got some tattoos on your chest. Is that right, Jonah? You got your shirt open.

I see some tattoos there. Yes. How much ink you got? That's what I like to see. Well, it's... That's what I say to the fellas in the restroom. Hey, buddy, how much ink you got? Let's see it.

It's not weird at all. Did you make them? Show us your chest, Jonah. Hey, Jonah. Hey, Jonah, let's see that chest. This is how I talk to people. Hey, I might buy a car. That's not the first time.

Take off your shirt. That's not the first time someone's asked me that. Oh, no, that's true. I'm thinking of it. I might buy that car, but first, let's see those pecs. Little different kind of test drive I'd like to do. Yeah. I won't need the car.

Yeah. Sorry, this compliment turned crazy really fast. Oh, man. No, it's okay. I honestly don't even know how many tattoos that I have. I just know that I have two sleeves and a chest piece. I would say that that might be 50 or so. I don't know.

What do you mean you don't, so you're not doing it deliberately or what happened? Did you fall asleep with someone tattooed you? No, it's just that at some point after you've had so many, you just kind of stop keeping count and like you know So I don't I don't really know exactly how many I have at this point, but you are laid back You're incredibly laid back. Oh, I don't know why I just these tattoos. I don't even know I'll just let people do it That's cool. That's cool. Yeah, yeah, like I'm asleep and somebody's just tattooing me.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's I've had I have several. My, my friend is the one that did most of them. He was interested in trying to utilize drawing as like a career, but he wasn't getting anywhere that way, you know, you can't just sell pictures for a living usually, like drawings. So he got into tattooing and I think I was like his first one. If I wasn't his first one, I know I had to have been like in his top three. You let your friend practice on

you. Right, that's correct. What was the tattoo? He's a great artist. It was actually, I think it may have been the bear here. Right. Oh, that's cool. That's really good. Oh, wow. That's awesome. That guy's good. Yeah. So he, I mean, so I had, I had full confidence in him from, from the jump pretty much. I didn't doubt him for a second. So. So you said you have a three year old child. Is that right? I do.

Her name's Ella. And in the days, you know, coming up towards the interview, I was talking to her about you and like trying to say like, hey, dad's gonna talk to Conan. So throughout the week, she had been just kind of running around the house saying Conan, Conan.

And a lot of three year olds do that. Yeah. I'm huge with the three year olds. Right. Before the brain is completely formed, they love me. And then once they have reason, the reason center expands, I'm through.

That's really cool though. I bet you'd be a really great dad because you're so chill. I think that's a great energy to get off of a parent. Don't you think? Yeah, I think so too. Just calm, relaxed, sweet, that's great energy. Yeah, yeah, I think so. Yeah, yeah, I try to just be very calm with her. If she does something

that she's not supposed to, I always just try to just be extremely calm with her and just kind of set her down and tell her, like, hey, you're not supposed to do that. So yeah, I just try to be very just chill with her for sure. And then try and put her in a 1982 Chevy Chevette. Yeah, get in here. With a high interest deferred load. Yeah, exactly. That's really good parenting. Is put that kid in the car, I see you.

Yeah, I see you in a Cordoba. Did you have a question for me? Is there anything I can help you with? Yeah, Conan, I was gonna ask, if you had just like a go-to sales pitch, I mean, what would you, how would you word it? How would you act if you were trying to just sell somebody just anything? Anything? Wow, well, it depends on what it is.

I would say this heroin. Oh, well, I'm sorry. OK, maybe that's the wrong way to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I think I agree with you. I'm very bad at convincing people to do something. I'm very uncomfortable in that role. I've always more or less tried to tell people if this feels like a good situation for you then you should do it. But I think I'd be in a lot of trouble

if my livelihood, putting food on my kid's plate relied on me selling somebody something. I think you have the right idea, which is, I find myself as a consumer, when people are saying, yeah, this is, when I go into a store and they go, yeah, this is what we have. And I think it's really nice. But if it's, you know, it's either right for you or it isn't, I'm more attracted to that product than if someone's saying, you've got to put this on or you've got to try and drive this you you know You can't leave this store without at least trying it then I just really want out of there

Instantly so I agree with your approach. Yeah Well, well great. I'm glad I'm glad to know that I'm doing something right. I think so, too. I think you're doing a lot right. A lot of people seem to... I do. I think you're doing a lot right. I very much appreciate it. And I definitely think everyone should listen to... Conan O'Brien needs a friend available wherever you get your podcasts.

There it is. I'm not interested right now. I'm not... Listen to me. You cannot lead until you try this Conan O'Brien guy. Now, first of all, he seems shrill and off-putting, but over time you're gonna find he's your best friend. This is the 31 flavors I came in for an ice cream. Yeah, okay.

Conan O'Brien needs a friend. Available in two scoops. Now with sprinkles. I used to make up a lot of stuff. What do you mean? Like I sold watches, I used to lie a lot. And when people would ask me questions instead of asking what the, like what was the right thing,

I just made it up. So like you tell them this can, you can cook a chicken with this watch. No. Or just this watch works. This is a watch that I didn't take. Yeah, or they'd be like, where was it manufactured? I'd be like, I don't know, Switzerland. And it would be like a Casio.

Oh my God, Sona. The answer is always Brog. Brog. It was made in Brog. No, I know. So you would just lie? I would. And people would believe me.

Well, of course they would. Because they like people who know what they're talking about. But you didn't know what you were talking about. Yeah, but they didn't know that I didn't know what I was talking about. People like someone who they think knows what they're talking about. You know what's interesting?

Jonah and Sona are both very chill. Jonah, you're one of the more chill, relaxed, centered people I've met. And Sona, to your credit, you are a very relaxed person who knows herself and is confident in herself. Yet you're very different types of that relaxed. Jonah seems principled and honest, and you will say anything. You'll just tell people absolute bullshit, something Jonah would never do.

I wasn't even working on commission. Like it didn't matter. You were even selling watches. No, you were just in the store. I'm definitely team Jonah, not team Jonah. Go, go, go, go, go. Well, Jonah, it was very nice talking to you. And if I get to Tupelo, which I'd love to do,

I've never been there. And I would like to see the rather modest home where Elvis Presley was born. And I know we then moved to Memphis, went to Hume's High School. And so his time in Tupelo isn't that long, but yeah, I'd love to go there. I would love to go and see it.

So I would look you up and we could tool around. And whatever car you deem suitable. Absolutely, maybe I can even try to track down that limo and see if we can drive around and see the limo. I may also tattoo you as we drive around, since you don't seem to care what goes on your body. Yeah, just bring it on. I'm here for the experience.

Alright, Jonah, very cool talking to you. Thank you very much and have a great day. Bye, Jonah. You too. Thank you, guys. See you later. Conan O'Brien needs a friend. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian and Matt Gorely produced by me, Matt Gorely, executive produced by Adam Sacks, Nick Leow and Jeff Ross at Team Coco and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Year Wolf. Theme song by the White Stripes.

Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode.

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