Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Cecily Strong

Episode Date: August 9, 2021

Actress and comedian Cecily Strong feels honored about being Conan O’Brien’s friend. Cecily sits down with Conan to discuss the poignant themes that drive her memoir This Will All Be Over Soon, being plucked from iO Theater to perform as a main player on SNL, and the cast members that never fail to crack her up. Later, Conan receives genuine praise from his team as he offers a State of the Podcast address. Got a question for Conan? Call our voicemail: [phone].For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com.

Hi, my name is Cecily Strong, and I feel honored about being Conan O'Brien's friend. Thank you so much for saying that. Oh, that was written in. No, I know. Was that in a... No, I wrote that in and faxed it to you. I didn't know people still had fax machines, and you said it just like we agreed. Hello and welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, podcast, a journey, if you will.

Three friends making their way through the audio world, forging relationships. Of course, Matt Gorley joining me. Hello, Matt. Hi, it's great to be here with my two best friends that I see all the time. Yes, indeed. Conan, Matt Gorley, but not Sonam Obsession. That's right. Sona, as many of you know, she's given birth to twin boys, Mikey and Charlie, or Mike

and Charlie, good stout Armenian names. And lovely, adorable, adorable boys, and so she's taking time off. I probably not PC of me to say this, but I think it's a betrayal that she's left the podcast. That's fair. Well, it's flawed priorities, in my opinion. One month old babies do fine on their own. Podcasts need constant care and attention.

But filling in for Sona, and those are mighty big shoes to fill, and I mean that literally, Sona has massive feet, size 18, is David Hopping, who is, this is how unimaginative we are. Sona really is my assistant, and then taking over for Sona is my assistant, David Hopping. Something they probably don't mention when you get a job with Conan O'Brien that you may have to be on a podcast. When I started, I was basically Sona's assistant. Yes.

Listen, Sona is, what's spill the tea, as people like to say, Sona, kind of a wacky assistant, as you know, what is it like working for her? I mean, that must be quite strange. Oh, it was great. Wait, I have a question. She is an assistant? That's like renting an apartment to someone, and then they sublet it and just make the money.

My technical title when I started was Conan's Personal Production Assistant, but it was really direct, like, reporting to Sona. Right. So basically, and I think I can follow up on Matt's question, when Sona got an assistant, it meant David was my assistant, and Sona was watching her shows, right? She was watching her shows, and you were running around putting out fires left and right. I also watched a lot of shows because she told me I could. So what shows did she tell you you could watch?

Any show. Oh, so she encouraged you to be a bad assistant? Well, it was a few weeks in, and I would come down every once in a while, just check in, see if she needed anything. And finally one day, she told me that I could just sit at my desk and watch TV until she called me. That's incredible. What a gig.

You came in. Like I told you, I did 14 Seasons of Grey's Anatomy, I did All of Gossip Girl, Most of Shameless, A Lot of Arrow, The Flash. This is unbelievable. You were getting a paycheck to watch television while, and Sona was telling you that this was Derigure. This was... She said if anyone asked to say I was doing research for you.

Wow. Yeah, because I need my info on Grey's Anatomy. You might. Season 12. What if you interviewed Ellen Pompeo? Season 55. I saw on the paper yesterday in the paper. I'm sorry.

But I saw an article, it wasn't in the paper, it was on some screen that... You know what I do is I open up my laptop and I use it to hide the fact that I'm reading a newspaper. Do you have a three-foot iPad? Yeah. He closes and opens it like he's opening a new page. Yeah, I have a giant, giant laptop with a massive screen that hides the fact that I'm reading a 1950s newspaper and I'm like, oh, Dewey defeats Truman, eh?

I'm stunned by that. I was reading an article and it said that Grey's Anatomy is coming back for another season and I thought, that's still on. Season 18. How do you know that it's season 18? Because I've watched 17 Seasons. Because he works for you, yeah. On my dime.

On my dime. Only 14 of them on your dime. Does anybody do anything that works for me? Jordan Schlatzke, who's my associate producer, I've never found evidence that he does anything and we've made it a bit on the show and people think it's a bit and it's not a bit. We don't know what he does. Sona never knew what she was doing. Sona used the Corp card to buy us lunch a lot, so thanks for that as well.

That's not supposed to happen. But we would get your lunch too and then add on. Yeah, and then I wouldn't eat it. Both of us. Because I'd see myself in the monitor at rehearsal and say, oh, look at Chunky there. Chunky gets no lunch and you guys would eat my lunch. Oh, I would go get your groceries every Monday. What groceries?

You would get like turkey and apples and... Like home groceries or for the office? Like for the office, I would go to Whole Foods every Monday. Mm-hmm. So that was one thing. Wow, turkeys and apple. The Conan O'Brien story. Oh, I would take your tea every day before the show.

I don't even like tea. Everything you mentioned is something I don't like. What a shitty lot of life you're living here. I know. She's talking about... She's talking about apple. What are you, in preschool? Yeah, I'm sorry.

I was trying to... But I'm listening to it now and it sounds pathetic because... You know what's fun though? I don't like any of those things. What kind of juice box did you drink? I don't like tea. Yeah. What was fun though is at Whole Foods, they don't have chopped red onion, but when I told

them that it was for Conan, they would take it into the back and chop it so that way Sohan and I wouldn't have to chop it. And then spit on it. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh, Conan, huh? Yeah, we'll chop that up real nice with my dick. This is wet. Jesus Christ.

You get dick chopped onions? Yes, and I knew they were... You haven't had an onion till it's been dick chopped. No, no. No, I'm sorry, but it does have a... It's just fantastic. You are living a rock star life. I take it all back.

Thank you. You take it all back. Yeah. Yeah, make sure that onion's dick chopped the way they dick chop it at Whole Foods. Who's dick chopping back there today? Is it Arthur? I like the way Arthur dick chopped... Arthur's gone?

What happened? Ooh, nasty accident, eh? No. Yeah. Dick chopping was off today. Well, I think we hammered that joke home. This is one of those moments where I'm going to be walking somewhere in Los Angeles and someone's going to lean out of a window, passing a car, and go, dick chopping!

Oh, no, next time you get a delivery of onions from Whole Foods, they're going to have a little tag on them. This is dick chopped by Arthur. Yeah. All right. Well... I hope Arthur's listening. Yeah.

Oh, trust me. Better put some ice on that thing. Hey! My guest today, very excited about this, my guest today is an Emmy-nominated cast member on Star Not Live and has a new show, Shmigadoon, on Apple TV+. She also has a new memoir. This will all be over soon, available in stores tomorrow. Very excited to talk to her today.

Cessley Strong, welcome. Where are you in Upstate? Because I was just in Hudson Valley like three weeks ago and I was looking for you with kind of an apharius, no. I was up in Hudson, New York. I don't know how close you are to that. I'm in Stotsburg, which is just south of Rhinebeck. Do you know where Rhinebeck is?

Oh, I've been to the air show in Rhinebeck. People know Rhinebeck. It's kind of the big city near first. I dated a lady once who had a place up there and went to the air show in Rhinebeck and couldn't believe they actually, they performed like a sketch, like a sketch where a guy is marrying a woman. They're out in the field. A guy is marrying a woman and then suddenly a guy in a black hat with a mustache runs

out, kidnaps, quote, the woman in the wedding dress and very clumsily puts her into a German tri-plane with three wings and takes off and then the groom goes, I'll get you in pantomime and gets into a stop with camel. They go up in the air and chase each other and then like the bride transfers over to the other plane and then lands with her hero and you're like, you just did a sketch where the chances of all of you dying was about 85%. And you know, we would have been impressed without the storyline. I know.

I know. It wasn't the writing that anybody came for. Yeah. Take the plane up and show us this plane still works. I don't need to know. Well, why is she going to that plane? Well, of course, I was watching it and thinking, now wait a minute. It was not emotional state.

Yeah. I don't buy it. I don't. She didn't seem that emotionally invested in him. Have you been to that? I forget what it's called in Colorado. It's like a Mexican themed theme park restaurant and they do high dive shows. Casa Bonita.

Yes. But it's similar and you're eating bad food and then halfway through dinners, they'll be like, get back here you and there's a sketch that'll start and some woman will probably be kidnapped and taken to the top of this mountain and then they die hilarious. And yet people are complaining about the food, you know, right? Sometimes I like to, yeah, I say, let's go to this strip club because the food is fantastic. And then really great to be like, I, I hate to see women degraded. And I think that whole thing is an objectified and I don't care about that.

I'm pretty much asexual at this point. You've got to try the crème brûlée. It's absolutely fantastic. You should send food back to strip club. I'm so sorry. I normally don't do this. I just, this is not how I am. Yeah.

The beef tartare is a little heavy on the onion. We're so sorry, Mr. O'Brien. Are you enjoying the strip show? You know what? I don't want to see these women objectified. I'm upset about that. Yeah. That is not what I, that is not cool.

I don't like what's going on with the ladies up there about the tartare, the steak tartare. And I don't want to be rude and only if there's not a big rush in the kitchen, but if they could just do that kind of thing. All right. Now wait a minute. Wait a minute. I need to conduct a professional interview here. Maybe the first one I've ever done, but I'd like there to be some semblance for real

professional interview here. Let me start by saying I'm also honored. I am getting major street cred from my 17-year-old daughter for even speaking to you. I want to say it's always quasi-insulting when the few times that I say, oh, I'm off to talk to, let's say, Cecily Strong, and my daughter gets so excited, and suddenly I see that I'm elevated in her eyes. And then there's some part of me that thinks, well, wait a minute, how did you feel about me before I said I was going to get to hang with Cecily Strong today?

And then it's be clear that she was kind of indifferent to me, that now I am, I'm just the gateway drug that gets her to Cecily Strong. So you are beloved. Well, I feel a pressure now to be cool enough for your 17-year-old daughter. Well, she'll probably only listen to the parts where you're talking. She has a special app when she listens to the podcast that takes me out of it, and it's just going to be you talking. She turns your speaking to like meows or something.

Yeah. And then you go, yeah, that's a really good point. Thanks a lot. Hey, don't get defensive. Yeah. No, I've admired your work for many years, and it was interesting because we live on different coasts. I don't really think I've had a chance to really interact with you, meet you.

I don't think we've ever met. No, I don't think so. I always say that with hesitation, because sometimes I'm not in my right state of mind, so we might have met. I know. I get it. That happens to me a lot. When I met at an after party or in the hallways during a show, I'm like, oh, we met.

I'm so sorry. Yeah. I'm used to saying, I'm so sorry after meeting someone. Do you say that immediately after you meet them? I'm so sorry. Yes. And I apologize for whatever I've done wrong so far. Why don't you say, I feel very sorry about being Conan O'Brien.

I'm just so sorry. Sorry all around. Sorry for Conan. Sorry for me. Devastated. You're just devastated in watching your work. I always try and find, what do I have in common with this person? If anything, I'm going to start by saying, I think we're both very attractive people.

Let's start there. Okay. The obvious. Yeah. That clearly, there's just silence in my room. Yeah, I have nothing to say. Yeah, no one's making high contact with me. David, I really do think as I get older, I'm becoming better looking.

I do. That's good. God damn it. No, I was thinking that in watching you perform and then in reading your book, this will all be over soon. It's clear to me that there's almost a slingshot effect. And tell me if I'm wrong, where you have some anxiety, nervousness, self-consciousness, maybe sometimes periods of really feeling low.

And then the performance is like a slingshot out of that. Is that true, like the performance is a chance for you to almost be the opposite of the person that you are? Oh, yes. I would say that's a huge part of also the characters that I'm drawn to and the people that I find funniest and most fascinating. Because I am so self-aware and self-conscious, then it's like watching someone have a meltdown in a grocery store is like, what a gift.

Those people are just so fascinating to me. And so that's what I like to play. Yeah. And you're really adept at playing characters that are completely unself-conscious and don't give a shit. They don't care. Yeah. I mean, they're just, they're that confident.

Your view of them or opinions of them will never matter. Yeah. They're not even, they're probably dimly aware that you have an opinion about them or that you're even there. You're part of the conversation. Yeah. And it's funny because in, you know, reading your book, what I picked up about you in particular was that there are a lot of people that think comedians are all bad boys and I don't mean

that gender specific, but that there are people that, yeah, when I was 14, I was, I remember doing a lot of coke and I got on a skateboard and I came into algebra class late and I said fucking deal with it and the whole class laughed and then I knew I'd be in comedy and I was always the exact opposite. I was in class right on time and afraid and then it's so weird later on, it's such a liberation to get into comedy for that reason. You seem like the same kind of person when you were a kid. You were a do-gooder.

Yeah. I mean, I guess I did some bad, but I don't think. Well, you murdered some people, which is, right, but that doesn't make me a bad man. No, no. You murdered them and then you moved on with no regard for their lives. I didn't even care. I don't even talk about it. Yeah.

Yeah. There's the chapter where you say. They made me talk about it, yeah. It's chapter three, I murder. That's a few forgotten. I murdered, no big deal. No big deal. They're gone, but I'm still here, haha, which is a bad chapter heading, but.

Well, you remembered it. I did. You're right. That's why it's a good one. Yeah. Okay. Well, I guess you win this round, but I'll be back. But the sense I got is that you were very, you're constantly hyper aware of maybe how

other people felt about you. Definitely. I mean, I think like popular kids and kids who like knew how to work the social world at 17, like they're, I'm shocked when they're funny because they never had to be funny. If people are very grew up, very socially comfortable, and I don't mean wealthy, but they were very comfortable. They had a lot of friends. They knew who they were.

They started dating at an early age and knew what they were doing. If someone like that turns out to be really funny, I'm enraged, I'm absolutely enraged because I'm thinking. I was told they peaked early. Yeah. They aren't supposed to be okay now. But then they peak again and again and again. Yeah.

And I'm enraged because I think, or if they were really great athletes and then they're also really funny, I think, no, no, no, no, this was my consolation prize for so many things. Right. You can't, why do you get to have it too? You know, it's like, I'm the guy who stumbled into the game show wearing a tattered jacket and I won the car. And then they said, oh, and look, Jeff Bezos is here too.

He gets a car also. I'm like, no, it doesn't feel right to me. Yeah. It isn't right and it isn't fair. Yeah. Well, the theme of this podcast is ways in which I've been fucked over. Did your publicist tell you this is how I got fucked over by Conan O'Brien? Yeah, sort of.

Yeah. I just assumed too. I asked to only do press like that. Yeah. I said, only angry press, only press with settles to score or scores to settle. Oh, you've been drinking early, haven't you? I wish. And that would help.

Yeah. I get this a lot. People were chatting with me for like five minutes and they always say, I wish I had a drink right now or some pills. I don't know why that comes up so often. But it does. Because it feels like a party, I guess. Yeah.

Something about me, I suppose. You're going through this time right now where I'm not going to pin you down on this, obviously, because this is your decision to work out. But people are speculating, are you coming back to stand out live? Are you not? I'll tell you in the brief time that I worked there, I was constantly, whenever it was summertime, I was so happy. As much as I loved working there, it was such a pressure cooker.

Then it was the summer. And I always thought, I don't know if I'm going back because it was so hard. Oh, totally. And I think I talked to Lauren earlier this year and he said, well, I don't make any decisions until at least July because in June, I still hate everybody and hate everything. Yeah. Lauren means that about everything, including what he's going to have for breakfast. He makes all his decisions on meals and what clothes he's wearing in July and it's for

the year. It has to be July. Yeah. I'll have July and August. I'll have crab. I'll have crab with eggs in May. Every morning in May. And they will be in assistance setting out crabs and eggs that we're learning in May.

He still has assistance and stuff. I would have thought he'd grown tired of being taken care of lavishly. They wind up, you know, going on to run television. Yeah. He's got great assistance. When I was there, Martin Scorsese was his assistant. He'd be like, Martin, can you, no, this is not what I asked for. I asked for corn off the cob.

I wish I had a Marty impression. Yeah. He screamed at Scorsese and smashed his glasses. I got to see all this because I was there a long time ago. I was there, I think, in 1958 to 62, when I was at Cernot Life. And I didn't come until early 80s. Yeah. Yeah.

You were there in the 80s. I remember that. You used to do your Jane Fonda bit where you were exercising and you did that parody of the a-ha video. And so, yes, I would sing. And I loved the exercise songs. That's what I would write. I would.

I probably, I have a Jane Fonda parody in my pocket. I want to convince anyone who just tuned in that Cecily Strong is in her mid-60s. That's, if I accomplish nothing else in this. You know, it's funny. It's like you say that and then people go, wow, really? And you're kind of like, oh, I shouldn't have made a self-deprecating joke in front of you. Yeah. Because you wouldn't know it was a joke.

I think also you using the term tune in puts you in the mid-60s. Yeah. I like the plot of someone just starting the podcast in the middle. Yeah. Well, you know, first of all, it's been really, it's really clear that, you know, I'm open about, you know, the fact that I am not tech savvy and that I really don't understand what a podcast is. I'm very honest about that.

I'm constantly saying, what if someone tuned in midway? Because I don't understand. I don't understand even what we're doing right now. I understand. I keep it very simple. I'm an admirer of yours. I think you're really funny. I was excited to talk to you.

And then beyond that, I don't know what a podcast is. I don't know how people are going to hear this. And this might all just be people, I might be in a state of mass delusion where people are saying, this is actually going to go out somewhere. But I'm told, you know, people on the street seem to know about it. People listen, I think. Yeah. Well, thanks a lot.

That's great, David. Yeah. Thanks to whatever this is and whatever you use to listen. This will be put out on a waxed cylinder and distributed. I think my favorite thing when I got, when I started SNL, my mom went on Facebook and said, ladies and gentlemen, set your VCRs. Well I have to tell you, my parents never figured out and they are still with us. My parents never figured out.

All the years I was on television, it was kind of a mystery to them that you could tape it. And so God bless them. They used to watch it when I was on late night, all those years at 1230. They would start watching it at 1230. And as a result, they were very sleep deprived. They both lost their jobs. They were air traffic controllers.

Air traffic controllers, they started fucking up. But I remember that era when I was on SNL, which would be 88 to like 91, you really did have to see it when it was on TV. You had to see it. And you, of course, have been part of this era where so many people are watching it afterwards in all these different ways and they're watching it for days afterwards. So there are the people that watch it live while it's happening. And then there's this entire other audience that's checking it out, which I think is kind

of a gift because they're seeing your work over and over and over again, sometimes in trading it. And I think that's contributed a lot to how much people adore your work. You know, that's a great way to look at it and should be the only way to look at it. But I think I still, I would worry that's like there's an oversaturation or then it makes it harder to do recurring because people feel like they've seen something so much more than you've done it because they can watch it over and over. I disagree.

I think it's a really good thing for you. And I'm not going to let you take this. I know it is. It is good. And I'm, I'm trying to be better at like not qualifying things that should be positive and going, but here's the asterisk. Yeah. Here's why it's not positive.

Yeah. Well, that's natural. That's a defensive mechanism that you've developed over millions of years of evolution. And so you can't be mad. I know. I can't believe this. Then evolution sucks. I don't know if this is what it got us to that's self doubt.

Yeah. Thank you. You could have had a, you could have had a third lung millions of years to get to self doubt. Eight million years ago, you could have developed a third lung and a much larger brain. All of us could have, but we decided that lizard decided, I'm going to go with more self doubt and crippling anxiety. Who needs a third lung and a much better browns and self doubt.

That's what we catch. It's funny. Sometimes I'll meet people and I'm always like, you're a different monkey. We come from a different monkey. I love that. I think you mentioned that phrase in your book, didn't I read that in your book? Probably. Yeah.

Because it's like a thing I truly believe in. So you meet the Hemsworths, a different monkey. I know what you mean. There's so many over the years, I've interviewed all these people in person on the TV show and these men. And I think, oh, I know that technically we're both adult male Homo sapiens, but why does your chest look so much different than mine? You really are, as you would say, a different monkey.

How did that happen? That's why I'm on steroids. So funny because when I think most people would hear that, oh, Cecily Strong has a book out, maybe the immediate assumption would be this is going to be a book of wacky stories or silly stories. And what you've written is a really beautiful meditation over. It takes place mostly throughout COVID, but threaded throughout the book and really the theme of the book is the loss of your cousin Owen.

So I thought I'd kind of start this part by saying, I'm sorry about your cousin because reading the book, I feel like I know this man and I like him and the loss really does come through. I mean, and it's very nice that you said, you know, it's great to feel like I'm letting people know him and like him because he was just such a gift to me and it's nice to share. In a way that I think, you know, it's like a way he's still going then too. And then even, you know, the day that we were losing him and I knew he would be gone that night.

It was sort of all night. I kept thinking, where in time and space is Owen in this moment? You know, like, where is he on his journey? Where is, you know, and so there's like the whole, it's just the where in time and space is Owen and I was really part of the book. And so I think that that's the weaving. It's funny. It's, I mean, funny is the wrong word.

I'm going to say it's funny in that way that where you know what I'm, you know what I'm saying when I say funny, not that I'm a sociopath and I'm just laughing at your very personal loss. It's hilarious. Um, no, what is peculiar to me, but I can relate to it is there's a lot that I find is would be helpful if I was going through loss, reading this, it would be a little bit of a manual of this is not a bad way to process it. This is not a bad way to metabolize, uh, loss and have it mean something.

Does that make sense? Yeah. That's a very kind of you to say, and I would hope that's sort of part of why I would publish something that's like insane to do if you're at all a private person, but I, and I think the couple of things that I heard back early on after doing the essay for New York magazine was sort of hearing that from people that it was at all helpful felt like, well, that is then a reason to publish it. I thought there's a part of the book that, um, really struck me, which is at one point

you're talking about a relationship you'd had in the past, uh, with someone and it's implied that the relationship, uh, wasn't the healthiest relationship and you don't really get into specifics, but you, you say that you reached out to this other person in the relationship and asked, could you write about it? You wouldn't use their name. And this person wrote back and said, no, I'd rather you, you not write about it. And so you have, I can't remember. I think it's 13 or 14 blank.

It's 11. Okay. That's 11 blank pages where you could have been describing what you've, you know, what you said was a abusive relationship, but it's just blank. And I thought, wow, that when you, when you see the blank pages in the book, it does, it does have an impact. And then it just ends with, I think his quote, thanks for understanding. Good luck with your project, which just sits there like a, like a dead wet fish at the

end of the, of the 11 pages. Well, I'm glad to hear it because that's what I wanted. No, I'm, I actually am, that is nice to hear that you felt that way. I think I was so in writing this and reaching out to everybody that I'm writing about. There's like a, you know, my brother was really great about talking to my dad after I sent him a copy and he was like, sure, maybe there's some things I wouldn't love being out there, but it's her story. And I think that was really great of my brother to help reinforce in me.

And I was so hurt that 11 pages is like, why isn't that mine and why doesn't that get to be mine? And it was so insanely hurtful to me when he said, no, and it was like just that easy. It was like, all of a sudden now my, this huge part of my life doesn't belong to me, especially with something that's so difficult to talk about. Let me ask you a question. And I don't know this at all, but if you're not using the person's name, you're not allowed to put it in the book.

You're not allowed to describe your side of the story. Why isn't that yours to tell? Was that a legal issue? No, I mean, and, and I went through legal issues and that wasn't one of them. And at one point there was a thing that was like, well, is there somebody that witnessed something between you two? And it was like, yeah, I guess, but that feels crazy that again, it's like, I have to have someone who has witnessed any kind of abuse, which is just like, I hope it never gets to

that. I don't want to be on trial. Yeah. And having to call my friend as a witness and say, like, yeah, I saw her being choked or something. Right. But and the reason I just to lighten it up a little too, yeah, let's lighten up the choking.

Well, the reason I know that it's 11 pages and why I'm also thankful that you got it is because I sent the book to Dr. Henry, who I don't, you know, the oncologist, my cousin Dr. Henry is the oncologist who worked with with Owen to try and save his life. Yeah. Yes. And he's been a part of my life for the past year and change and we text a lot and I sent him the book and he was like, it's great. It's lovely.

Just a couple of corrections. I think you have about 11 blank pages. Yeah, that also happened in the original Catch 22. It was just a printing error and Gutenberg had that problem in his Bible. Catching it. Yeah. Yeah. So many J.D.

Salinger had that with Catcher in the Rye. It's a common printing error. No, I read this whole experiment sometimes forget a syllable. Yeah. I mean, yeah. I mean, the great writer turns out, I'll say that that in a way, I would argue that what you did is more effective than maybe even if you had told the story. And I don't know the story.

So I have, I don't know what I'm talking about, but the fact that you didn't handcuff yourself and you just left the 11 blank pages and then that last line from his text or email, I think is very powerful and gets the job done. Yeah. It got the job done in his email. I certainly felt a certain way after that. And I think one thing my editor, Sean, who is such a partner in this project to me, but he said early on was he felt like what I leave out is just as important as what I keep in

in my writing. And I think it is because the whole thing, I'm trying to be as honest as possible. And I've sort of talking to my dad about it. Like, well, dad, if I just celebrated where we are, it means less if you don't know that like took work to get to where we are. And that's okay. And like no one's going to fault you for that. But I think in trying to be honest, it was like, there have to be some things that are

maybe better left unsaid, just so it doesn't go into different territory. Yep. If that makes sense. Well, I have found in my years of writing and working in comedy, to me, so much of writing is editing. Yes, and I have a problem editing myself. And I actually, it's like I prefer being able to write answers or write things down. You know, I love texting much more than talking on the phone for that reason.

Like I can see what I'm writing and take things out. Should we switch over to text right now? Would you like that? Yes. That's okay for podcasts, right? Yeah. Tune in. Yeah, I'm working on a new tune in.

I'm working in tune in to this text message. We should work on a new form of podcast that's just text, and it comes up on the windshield of the person as they're driving, and it leads. For them to read. It doesn't sound safe. No, no, trust. Oh, it doesn't sound safe. David, what's not safe about reading text between me and Cecily while you're driving

at 60 miles an hour? How can I text better while driving? Conan causes another accident. Yeah. There's gotta be a better way. With the 700th accident today, the victims were listening to Conan O'Brien and Cecily Strong. And it was a quiet podcast, and they watched it on their windshield.

They tuned in. I don't know your story of how you got Saturday Night Live. I did a showcase at IEL, and Sharna Halpern suggested I do it, and I was kind of, I didn't know that I was ready, and you know, there's so many, it's like rumor and gossip and like the legend of Lorne Michaels coming to IEL, and it was like, well, he'll only see you once. So if you could only get that one shot, so don't mess it up. And so I wasn't sure I was ready, and I wasn't really an impressionist.

I took like a workshop with this guy, Matt Miller, who did a character and impressions workshop, and you watch yourself on camera. But it was really good, because you watch yourself with other people watching too, and you can hear where they're laughing and they're not. And so I realized I should, everything should be a little shorter than I thought. It was like a whole summer, I went, so he came to the showcase, and then the next day they had a couple of us go to the hotel where they were staying, and it was like speed dating, and you know, me pretending to be normal, I don't even know.

I think I was like, I shop at Trader Joe's, you know, I don't even know what I said. I only remember bringing up Trader Joe's and Cucumbers and Wine. That's all I remember. You mentioned those same things in this podcast, like 11 years ago. And you know, I buy my wine in Cucumbers to Trader Joe's. Yeah, yeah. Anyway. You're getting some kind of compensation from Trader Joe's, and congratulations.

That's how I talk to people from New York, to let them know I'm cosmopolitan too. But then I, then it was like, okay, a month passed or something, and I didn't hear anything. Oh no, that's not true. So I got flown out to New York then for the first test. I went back home, and as I was driving back from the airport, I got an email from Lindsay Shookus saying they were going to fly me out again to just hang out in the writer's room. But they sort of just put you in the office and then have people come in and out and talk to you to make sure that you're not the wrong kind of crazy.

Yeah, it's like a social experiment. It's almost like a reality show, like you're being brought into Big Brother's house to hang out for a little bit. Is this a good analogy? You watch Big Brother? I love Big Brother, yeah. Keep going, keep going. We're going to make this about Big Brother now.

It takes a while there to feel like you're really part of the machinery, as you know. And some, there are many people that are brought in and told, why don't you just hang out in the writer's room, and then they just become typists. You know, they just like, they get folded into, they get folded into other parts of the show that don't involve creativity. So I don't, I didn't know. I had no idea. You must have felt weird being told, just go and hang out.

There's pressure there that, well, should I bring wine? Should I? And I'd already talked about Trader Joe's, so. You had the only, yeah, your only conversational topic was gone. Who knows what I said. And Lauren wasn't even there, so it was even stranger. But. Well, he hasn't actually been at Soundnet Live, I've told for four years.

No, he calls in. Yeah. He's from St. Bart's. Yeah. He's either in St. Bart's or he's at his blueberry farm in Maine. And he, he has monitors and he just, and he writes. He works hard though. I mean, the, the jam is not going to make itself.

No, no. The blueberries aren't going to make it. And someone has to fight off those bears with giant, giant sticks. That's my blueberry bear. And he's. I remember when he said, you know, I got goats. Did he say that? He had pictures.

There's goats up there. I have a picture. I'll show you. There's goats. That's how to have a blueberry farm. That's a goat. That's a goat. Yeah.

And that's another goat. Yeah. Mick Jagger. Oh, there's a goat. Nope. Nope. That is Mick Jagger again. I'm sorry.

He's getting very goat-like as he ages. And so how long did it take you to feel? Because my memory is that you hit very quickly. Well, what's funny is so when I got hired initially, he was, he, I didn't know I'd gotten hired fully, you know, like you hear when people leave the meeting with Lauren and they're like, what am I, what does that mean? But he was like, I'm not sure I'm going to might start you as a writer and then we'll move you to cast maybe by Christmas or something.

And then it was like three days later, they said, well, you'll be in the cast now. So I hadn't, I wasn't even sure I went in as shaky as, as I would wind up being for the entire time I was there. Right. And I think like the first time I did girl at a party was probably the biggest hit for me. And that was in one of those election specials. So that was early on October or something.

My favorite thing about that character is you'll just, because it's kind of subtle. You'll just take a pause and look at your phone and, and lose all of your performing affect and look at the phone and then look up and continue. And there is no joke, do you know what I mean? It's a, it's totally a character move, but it's hilarious. And I always love it because it, well, it's so true, so true. We see people do it all the time, but I think a lot of other comic performers would feel insecure and feel like they need to put a joke in there.

Well, I mean, I, I wish I could say it's cause I was so secure, but I think it's like once you get a laugh doing that, then you're like, oh, okay, they got it. They saw it because it is such like a rude move and someone who clearly doesn't care about the person they're having a conversation with. Right. Which was, you know, so much of that per. You're only there for me to like shame and say, I'm only bringing up any topic to show you that you don't know about it.

Right. Your characters, they don't need to learn anything from anyone they're talking to. It was such a funny joke. You started when you were doing Marjorie Taylor Greene on SNL and update and you come out and you, you go, oh, and you reach underneath and you go, like, is this, who's gun is this? Is this your gun? You're sitting on a gun and you are assuming it's someone else's gun when no one else would have a gun, but you, and it was just, I don't know.

Right. Yeah. On this gun crazy world. Yeah. Yeah. And she's just like, oh, who's gun is this? Is this my gun? I'm sitting on a gun.

I don't know whose gun this is. And, you know, Colin Joseph is like, no, no, not my gun. That would be your gun. Who's still after all these years, if you're performing with them, who just, can you not keep it together if you're performing them with them, you know, like, who are the people who. There's, I mean, there's a bunch. I feel like anyone there I might break with, but certainly I think Keenan is the person

that I will easily break with 80, once 80 starts going, that's it. And then also, I think Beck Bennett is so funny and sometimes just like Beck making a mistake at the table would destroy me. Like my, some of the funniest moments there is just Beck mispronouncing a word. Yeah. But he just, he, again, there's something about him that's like, I'm here to tell you. Yeah. It's just so presentational.

And then to hear that make a mistake, to hear him go, excuse moi, moi, moi, moi, moi. Yeah, we should explain. There's this, there's the, there's the read through on Wednesday. Yeah. And people sit around and it's this part of the start out live that I'm sure has been captured sometimes on camera, but that's the part that people really don't know about, which is you sit around this massive, it's not one table. It's a bunch of tables jammed together and it's really huge and the entire cast is sitting

around it plus everyone that works in scenic and music and everyone's in that room and all the writers and that's where everything's decided. And I remember over the years, things just destroying, killing at that table and then getting nothing at dress because it really worked when you heard it, but something about getting it on its feet and putting it up, all the magic went away. I think that's sort of the norm now. I think it's like, we all expect that and it's sort of, you know, you'll say like, well, that's for the table.

This joke is for the table and then we'll rewrite it, which is sort of, and I think also there's something about like, we know our world and comedy world and so we can make each other laugh maybe differently than we would to our normal audience. There's a TV hall of fame of people that probably got on Star and Out Live and were brilliantly funny and couldn't quite find how it worked for them there. It's a very specific skill set that you'll never use anywhere else and it's like, if you're telling a joke, but you have to always be looking at one of three cameras or you know, it's and reading cue cards at the same time.

It's just a strange thing that you have to learn. Actually, I was really happy when people like Bill Hader, who I adore, was so fantastic on SNL, but then knew how to translate what he was doing into Barry and into these other into other forms of entertainment and knew how to make the adjustments. And I think Will Ferrell is another example of someone who did that really brilliantly. Ferrell by the way, someone who might one of my all time people that I can't, I really do what I'm doing in comedy, I don't like to break, I don't want to laugh, I really want to commit to being the straight man and he's got these dead eyes.

And I always think of, I always think of, I know exactly what you're talking about. Like I'm laughing, thinking about it. Yes. Yes. And he has those, I think of that speech almost like dog eyes. Yes. Like a big pit. I was just with this dog Mooney.

I feel like I have a similar eyes just like looking at you. Yeah. I think it's so funny behind his eyes. I always think of that speech that Quint gives in Jaws. We talk about a shark's eyes and he goes like, they're dead eyes. They're a doll's eyes. And I always think, yeah, he's got, there's no light coming out of his eyes. He can make his eyes completely dead.

And then he was on my late night show once and he came out and he had a giant cockatoo on his shoulder. So we're chatting and I just went, hey, so about the cockatoo and he went, hey, we're not talking about the cockatoo. We're not talking about it. We're talking about me and what I'm up to and my new movie. The bird is, that's my business. That's my personal life.

And I went, okay, fine. So we're talking a little bit. And then the bird's like, and I went, seems like the birds, we are not talking about the goddamn bird, Conan. The bird is none of your, and his eyes, he never betrays that something funny is happening. And to me, that's like the essence of really great comedy is there is absolutely nothing funny happening here. Uh, well, I don't know, I'm, I'm, I have to say I'm thrilled if you decide to keep working

at Sun Out Live, but you're not someone I would ever worry about for a second because if you don't work at SNL, you're going to do brilliant things. I know that for a fact. So, um, Wow. Well, thank you. I'm wrong much of the time. I'd love to know your sources.

Okay. No, I'm wrong. I'm wrong like 80% of the time. I got it. Okay. Yeah. I'm many times. I'm just completely, no, I, uh, I think that is a very, I think you're about the safest

comedy bet anyone could make, uh, you're, you're wildly talented and, and I think also it's, it's a gift because reading your book, and I'm going to mention again, this will all be over soon. I read it yesterday and I feel invested in you as a person because I feel like I really know you now and, um, you're a mensch as my Irish people say and, uh, and, uh, and, uh, and this is a really beautiful book and I'm, I'm sorry you lost your cousin, uh, because he seemed like a very lovely guy, but I think you did achieve your purpose, which was he is alive and well in this book and he's, uh, his light is radiating.

So God bless you for doing that. That's really cool. Thank you. That's a, you've brought me to tears. Thank you. It's a lovely thing to say. Now we widen out and we see that you're dicing, you're dicing onions. Is that old?

I'm sorry. My job is tricks and widen and onions, uh, but, uh, Cecily, um, I look forward to bumping into you in person sometime soon, uh, but congrats on everything and have a great rest of the summer. Thank you. You too. Thank you. Every once in a while, we like to do an official state of the podcast.

It's like the president does state of the union. We just check in, see that we're keeping this thing up to quality standards and that everybody's, uh, desires are being met. David, Conan, me. Okay. So what's involved, I forget what we do here. I mean, I have no idea what the state of the podcast is. Well, the state of the, my desires are not being met.

Why? Cause you don't know. What are your desires? How can we better meet your desires? Well, that's very nice of you. Um, I'd like you guys to be a little more complimentary of me, sort of like, wow, Conan. Um, I'm still starstruck. Can't you muster that, Matt?

We can try that. You went, you went to contempt almost immediately when we first started working together a couple of years ago and, uh, I don't know. You know what I mean? Yeah, let's try it. And you know what? You know, I'd bat it away. You know, I'd say, Oh, don't be silly.

Um, don't be ridiculous cause I'm a humble man, but you guys always start from a place and you too, David, I think you've been around me too long and you forget when you got off that bus. Okay. From where are you from? Here we go. Yeah. From Illinois.

Illinois, yeah. Carlinville, Illinois. You got off that bus with your cardboard suitcase and your undersized, your sucker suit and that little hat and you saw those big skyscrapers and went garsh, uh, and, and came and worked for me. You were excited. And then suddenly you quickly became the same cynical, uh, prick that Matt Gurley is. Wow.

With that intro, I can't believe he doesn't gush praise on you. Oh. All right, David, let's you and me give him some praise. Let's see how naturally it comes. You're really funny. Yes, I am. Next, um, people think you're hilarious. Yes.

They do. Next. You got a good working knowledge of history. Yes. I do. Thank you. Next. See, I said I was going to bat them away and I'm not, I'm just accepting them and asking

more. A voracious need machine. Oh, yeah. Are we done? Was that enough? I think that covers it. Yeah. You guys acted like you were, you were saying those words with your last breath of air.

That's how it came across. Well. But David, what's it like when you go back home to, is it Carlinville? Carlinville. Yeah. When you go back to Carlinville and, um, you go to the general store and everyone's sitting around swapping stories, they must say like, what's that Conan O'Brien like, don't they? People do ask about you a lot.

Yeah. Yeah. And what kinds of stuff do you say? That you're really funny. Oh, come on. What do you really say? No, I do say that I got, I genuinely did get very lucky working for you because you are just very easygoing and very nice.

When I moved here, I just heard horror stories of working for different celebrities. Right. And, and, and I don't really fit the cliche now. I do sometimes, um, act outrageously, but it's usually for comedic effect. Yeah. Like one story I always tell was, it was, you had ordered a Amazon package and it didn't show up. Right.

So he called me down and wanted me to go look around for it. Five minutes go by. Sona Calls says Conan found the Amazon package, come back down. In that five minutes, you had taken the time to carve a hole in just a random box just to flip me off. Oh, that's right. Oh my God. I, I cut, I cut a hole in the box and I said, I did find it.

I found the Amazon package and you were like, oh, I'm really glad you found it. I went, yeah. And look what's inside. And I opened the box and gave you the finger. I have a picture of it on my phone. And I thought, and Sona was howling and I was howling. Now I love that this is your story of what a good guy. But I'm never going to all the trouble of, we sent you the effort.

You sent me looking because I went, because it got dropped off at the Warner Brothers mail room. So I go over, talk to someone at the mail room and then come back and you were waiting in your office for me for who knows how long. Oh, I remembered. You know, we had a show to do and probably a big name guest, if I know our show. And there was a lot going on and I was like, no, no, I would routinely tell people the show can wait.

I've got to figure out a way to saw a hole in this box, get my hand into it, get the new assistant to Sona to come up here, who's from Carlinville, Illinois, say I found the box, get you to open it and then have me give you the finger. Now that, that's, man, that's a true sociopath at work, I think. Oh, by the way, Matt, I found a Amazon box for you. Oh, really? Should I head right over? You should head over here as quickly as possible.

Okay. I should take every traffic rule. I do have one nice one, if you want me to say like a genuine nice one, no one cares about it. Yeah, no, what did I do? Did I do a nice thing? No, I had never been to New York until I went with the show and the night that we got there, you were trying to tell me places to avoid at night to be safe.

And then you found out I had no cash on me, so you gave me $50 just in case I ran into an emergency. Oh, that is nice. No. You wanted that money back? No, you told me I could keep it, even though I didn't have an emergency. Or maybe you didn't say it and I just kept it. I think you told me I could keep it.

I want that money back. What did you do with that $50? I don't know. It was like four years ago. I want that money. Okay. You son of a bitch. Run, David, run.

It's funny because when people, I am this way when younger people work for me, I feel like they're dad. And so I actually do. I do feel like, wait, we're in New York. Where are you from again? I know. You've got to be safe in New York. We need to have, and that's a big thing with me, is people have to have cash on them so

that in case they run into whatever, whatever kind of problem they run into, in my case, a prostitute. Oh, come on. It used to cost $50. Now I know that's a long time ago, $50, that would be a whole weekend back in the 80s. Yeah, you'd take a boat around the harbor and teaking with her. We never, I never had sex with one. I was too scared.

Just took them and teaking. I took them and teaking. Okay, how can we and teaking with you? But it's $50 and smack. That's a chewing gum. Yep. And teaking with prostitutes with Conan O'Brien. I don't know how we got off on that tangent, but I'm glad, I'm glad that I did a one nice

thing once. That's nice. And I'm going to get that money out of you. Never again. I'm going to get that money out of you somehow. I think this proves that the state of the podcast is strong. And unchanged. Yes, unchanged.

And though Sona is not with us because she's decided, I think wrongly, that two infant children, twins, need rearing. I think we have survived the loss of Sona and David, you're doing a tremendous job. Oh, well, thank you. Yeah, it's true. I feel like people still get on hoping to hear Sona and then just like get a little disappointed when she's not here. I'm sure there's a metric for that and we'll check it out.

Disappointment metric? Yeah, Adam Sacks is going to show me like a slight dip and go, oh, we're really concerned about this. You know what? A week from now, you're going to be wearing a Sona wig, even though it's a podcast and saying like, yeah, pot's cool. Woo. David, can you pronounce ING words with a hard G at the end?

Inga. Yeah, Inga. Inga. She has a hard G. I've been calling on it all the time. Well, there it is. The state of the podcast is stronga. It is a stronga.

The state of the podcast is strongga. Hard G, Sonomov Sessian. Conan O'Brien needs a friend. With Conan O'Brien, Sonomov Sessian and Matt Goerle, produced by me, Matt Goerle, executive produced by Adam Sacks, Joanna Salatarov and Jeff Ross at Team Coco and Colin Anderson at Earwolf, theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering by Will Beckton. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brick Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the team Coco Hotline at 323-451-2821,

and leave a message. It, too, could be featured on a future episode. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded. This has been a Team Coco Production, in association with EWOLF.