Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Charlie Puth

Episode Date: May 18, 2026

Musician Charlie Puth feels blank about being Conan O’Brien’s friend.   Charlie sits down with Conan to discuss his worldwide tour for his latest album Whatever’s Clever!, how to change the e...nergy of a room with a single sound, why musicians who make it all about themselves are the first to fall, and more.   For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com. Got a question for Conan? Call our voicemail: (669) 587-2847. Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/conan. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:03 Hi, my name is Charlie Puth. And I feel blank about being Conan O'Brien's friend. We're going to fill in that blank. And by the end of this episode, you're going to feel, I think the word's going to be ecstatic. Or filled. That makes me uncomfortable, Charlie. Fall is here, hear the yell. Back to school. Ring the bell. Brand new shoes.
Starting point is 00:00:33 Climb the fence, books and pens, I can tell that we are going to be friends. I can tell that we are going to be friends. Hey there, welcome to Conan O'Brien needs a friend. I'm Conan O'Brien, of course, and I'm joined by Sonam Obsessian. Hello, Sona. Very good to be here.
Starting point is 00:00:53 Thanks for having me. And David Hopping is, of course, filling in for Matt Goreley, who's on paternity leave. Forever. Still gone. He's still gone. Listen, I respect a guy he takes fatherhood seriously. I did not.
Starting point is 00:01:09 When Liza was giving birth to our first child, I left mid-contraction to go back to work. And I still haven't met my daughter, but I'm told she's lovely. It's very sweet. He's spending a lot of time with his family. It's very nice. And that's a familial bond, which is very important. Early on, you've got to do it. But he'll return one day.
Starting point is 00:01:31 Until that time, there's much to talk. about, so I had a nice surprise, which is I turned on the TV the other morning. The TV's just on the background and they go, and coming up, Sonam of Sessian. And it was, is it, is it, what's it called Good Day, LA? It's called Good Day, LA. It's on Fox 11 News. It's a local, yeah, people from L.A. know, good day, LA. Yeah, it's, it's the thing. And, you know, I was just like, I've got to watch Fox right now. I was just like, I've got to see my Fox. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you love a local Fox affiliate. I love a Fox affiliate. And that's just the way I've always been. And then I hear, you. And then I hear, here. We'll be right back with Sonam of Sessian. Yeah, maybe. And you come on and you have a book that's
Starting point is 00:02:09 coming out fairly soon at your first book, which was a smash hit, World's Worst Assistant. I don't see why it was so popular because it's just a book about truth. About my time being your assistant. Yes, yes. Called the World's Worst Assistant. You wrote the Forward. I wrote the Forward. And this is the World's Worst Mom. This one's called World's Worst Mom. It's all about your adventures raising your two lovely boys, aka monsters.
Starting point is 00:02:39 They're lovely. They're lovely. They're lovely. I love winding them up. When they come here to the office, I drop everything I'm doing and I chase them around. They get super hyper so they're not going to go to sleep for six days. And then I say, got to go. And I go into a recording session.
Starting point is 00:02:57 And I always see your husband tack looking like, F you, man. They are plutonium by the time I'm done with them. They are. They're psychotic. I chase them upstairs, downstairs. They chase me. They love it. They love it. So this is you on the news, Sonoma Sessian, and I was thinking, I just, I'm sorry,
Starting point is 00:03:17 I had to look at that and think, look how far you've come. Amazing. I grew up watching Good Day, L.A. And then I was on it. But I also, I've never done live television. and I had to be very aware of what I talked about. Right. You've done a lot of things with me, but those are on tape.
Starting point is 00:03:37 Yeah. And there's time to pull things up a bit if you get salty with your language. Because you did some time in the Navy and you have a, you got a mouth on you, sister, right? And so I was amazed at how professional you were. Yeah. But almost like you took classes. What do you mean like media training classes? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:57 Have you ever done that? Do you think I've done that? I don't know. You have this ability, which you've always had, to appear like a normal person when necessary. You know what I mean? Like you're very charming and you're not dropping F bombs. You're not telling raunchy stories. You are just this glowing.
Starting point is 00:04:18 Well, sometimes when I was working for you as your assistant, there were times when we had to interact with like actual real people. Like professional decent people. Right. And so you have to like, you have to switch it up. We can't be like, oh, fuck you. Fuck you. In front of like, you know, Michelle Obama or like her people. I hope not.
Starting point is 00:04:39 Jesus. But we can't do that. So, you know, you have to be good. Yeah. And professional. Yeah. And so yesterday I was on the news. I was on the news.
Starting point is 00:04:50 And I was following Manny Paciow, which was crazy. Yeah. Yeah. He was on before me. And I, and yeah, I had so much fun. And those women I was on with, one of whom is my friend, Aroxia, and then the other two anchors, everyone was so professional. They're so, like, cool. They're fun.
Starting point is 00:05:08 They look great. I don't mean to insert myself in the situation, but don't you think in a way they had you on to kind of get to the big dog? Do you know what I mean? Like, was there anything like, oh, so you're here, son of that's great. Is he coming? Oh, they think like you come with me? Yeah. And then you would just replace me?
Starting point is 00:05:26 No, not replace you, but you have to, look, it's just got to be a thing in your life where you have to be a little suspicious that people maybe you're, if someone's being nice to you, oh, it's just to get to the guy. Okay. All right. Listen, you're doing bits about this, but you're also right. You're right. I'm not doing a bit.
Starting point is 00:05:45 Everyone comes to me to get to you. Okay, but you know that I'm going to get a call tomorrow from Good Day, L.A., and they're going to be like, well, son it was on. So I guess now year turn? Well, yeah. Right. Well, it's kind of like you're at a feast and there's like scraps falling and I'm like, yay, I get to eat. You just likened yourself to an animal under the table.
Starting point is 00:06:11 But I've always been a barnacle on your cruise ship and I'm fine with that. And I love it. And I get to do things like go on good day, L.A. And that's what I'm saying. I don't like it. And you know what? I'm going to say barnacles are necessary. They serve a function.
Starting point is 00:06:22 What? I don't know what it is. I know they have to be scraped off religiously. They do. But they must serve some function. No, they don't. That's the whole point. You have to scrape them off.
Starting point is 00:06:35 Well, then you're a barnacle. Yeah. I'm a barnacle. And you know what? It's cool. I feel like I'm a con man. I have done the perfect grift and I'm cool with it. I am perfectly happy with this.
Starting point is 00:06:46 Well, I will say, I've blown up. I mean, every time I see it's Sona, every time I see this Sona. Yeah. Out in the world, I'm very impressed. You look great. You're very engaging, you're funny. And the thing I've always said about you is you don't change when the camera's on you. You don't change when you're in here being on the podcast.
Starting point is 00:07:11 You don't change. I swear to God, if I made you come out with me at the top of the Oscars, you would be Sona. Yeah. That is a gift because most people have. I know hardly anyone. You might be the most natural person in every situation. That's pretty cool. Hey, thank you.
Starting point is 00:07:30 And you know, a few weeks ago, I did a keynote speech at the Writers Workshop in Dayton. The Irma Bombag Riders Workshop, I wrote a speech. And I remember I sent you a text because you're doing the Harvard commencement speech this year. And I was like, if you need help. I'm right here. You are a speech champion. You are speech champion. And you bring that up a lot that you're a speech champion.
Starting point is 00:07:50 I bring it up almost every day. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I know. A huge impact on your life. Kind of. Yeah. I mean, I'm doing this for a living, which is just talking. This couldn't be a living. This is my living.
Starting point is 00:08:02 Is it now? This is literally my life. Do you still get paid as my assistant? Do you still get paid as my assistant? Yes, I do. Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Back in October, I had to go to a wedding. She covered me for two days. I covered him for two days. Remember? We went to the eye doctor. That's why you pay me. Why did they go to the eye? eye doctor. Why did you go to you went to the eye doctor? Your eyes were like watering. Oh, that's right.
Starting point is 00:08:28 They were watering. And then it turned out they said you're having an emotion. That's how repressed I am. I said, my eyes are watering. And they went anything happening. Well, you know, my parents died last year. And also this sad thing happened. And they said that's called crying. But I do things sometimes. I don't. I actually don't. I don't do anything. That's an incredible. And this is we have just, we just, I just saw this rock. I was walking through the forest and I saw this rock and I just lifted it up and I saw scandal, depravity, injustice. And I quickly put the rock down.
Starting point is 00:09:08 But if you think we're not revisiting this rock and lifting it up again, you're sorely mistaken because this is a scandal. And I want, I want Sue Lane in here. I want Sarah Federovich in here. I want to open the books on this thing because I think you're committing a crime. How dare you? How dare you? How dare me?
Starting point is 00:09:24 The fallout from being your assistant has been that I am attached to you for the rest of your life. So for the rest of your life, you're paying me to be your assistant. Even though I'm not assisting you. I'm going to get into the weeds. This is a crime. This is a crime at every level. It is. And we're going to have to figure out, I mean, yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:47 I mean, unbelievable. Unbelievable. I still get notifications when it's someone's birthday. I don't do anything with the notifications, but I get them. Oh, yeah? Did you get a notification about this Saturday? My fucking birthday? Hey, I think the barnacle should learn the birthday of the cruise ship it's been hanging out on.
Starting point is 00:10:10 You had no idea. Oh, I get notifications about important birthdays. Oh, yeah, how about this Saturday? Oh. Whoa. Uh-huh. Oh, I mean. You just remember, you don't need a notification because it's just.
Starting point is 00:10:27 It's there. It's there. Yeah, it's all that. I haven't tattooed on my leg. Oh, yeah. April 18th. Okay. Thumbs up.
Starting point is 00:10:34 All right. Listen. Shut up, Blais. Wow. We've exposed so much crime. The rot goes deep. The rot goes deep. All right.
Starting point is 00:10:45 My guest today is a singer, songwriter, whose fourth studio album, whatever's clever, is out now, very excited to chat with this gentleman. Charlie Puth, welcome. Is this a first? I think after 35 years of doing this podcast for the first time, our guest, Charlie Puth,
Starting point is 00:11:10 has a keyboard in front of you, which is really cool and may become mandatory for everyone. I may just say, even if most people won't play the keyboard, but I'll insist that it be there and that they take a few stabs at it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:23 It kind of colors my words a little bit more, like if I have like a really good idea. Oh. If I'm introspect. Hmm. Okay. Let me ask you something. What if I start to speak and things get menacing?
Starting point is 00:11:37 I'm going to switch it to the piano. Yeah. Let me tell you something, Charlie. Oh, yes. I don't like you and I don't like what you stand for. I've never liked these musicians, these prodigies. And I'm going to kill you. Now let's have it get happy.
Starting point is 00:11:58 Wait a minute, I'm off of my meds, but now I'm back on my meds again, Charlie. Because now we're in C major, and you don't end up killing me. That's good. See? I'm in it now. You're in it now.
Starting point is 00:12:11 Lovely to have you here. There is so much talk about. You're on fire at the moment. You've got this great album out. Thank you. And I'm very excited to have you here because, I just want to talk about something. First of all, it's called,
Starting point is 00:12:24 whatever's clever. First of all, this is crazy, but one of your tracks is don't meet your heroes and yet here you are. High five, Sona. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:12:33 Holy shit. I had to. I love, I used to be cringe. I was listening to that. That actually might be my favorite song on the album. It's a really good song. And you talk about how is that this?
Starting point is 00:12:46 They say, don't play more than six seconds of a song but I'll let you play. I'll give the rights to you or whatever the fuck. You just, wait a minute. You just gave me the rights to a Charlie Poo's song? You idiot!
Starting point is 00:13:00 And that's a verbal contract. That's what I'm going to, my new scam is going to be getting, you know, Billy Eilish in here, getting Taylor Swift in here, getting Sabrina Carbond here, and then having them blurt out, okay, you can have the rights. And then overnight, I've got seven yachts strapped together. I don't know if I used to be cringe is going to give you seven yachts, but... I really like it. Maybe.
Starting point is 00:13:24 with a song. Mine would not be past tense. I remain cringe. Well, mine isn't past tense either. And then I love this. One of my favorite people was Jeff Goldblum. You have a collab with Jeff Goldblum on a song called Until It Happens to You. And I thought, oh, because I know Jeff's a musician, this is going to be Jeff playing.
Starting point is 00:13:44 When you get to his part, which would normally be like rap or singing a solo part, it's him talking. And it's fantastic. It's a great 10-C-shot of pure Goldblum in the song. He's like, well, boys, if I were to tell you, that kind of sounds like how we're starting. That's good, though. That's good, that's good one.
Starting point is 00:14:05 But, like, it's a song about reacting to losing a loved one. And it's kind of like a disguise and like very happy, very happy chords, but it's just like, it's about death. It's about death. And Jeff Goldblum, like, will, he didn't. made us all cry in the studio because he just, like, started speaking to his kids who weren't there, but, like, speaking to us, like, we were his kids. And it felt like the end of a movie where the credits kind of slowly trickle down and everyone's walking away to the sunset down the yellow brick road.
Starting point is 00:14:39 I liked, first of all, it's Goldblum, who's got the most distinctive. And he's up there with Christopher Walken and a couple of other iconic people who have such a distinctive way of speaking. And it's almost the part of the song where someone would scat. And he is kind of scatting, but it's, then I realized that's just how Jeff Goldblum talks. Just, uh, let me tell you some. Yeah. And he's doing that and you realize that, oh, this is a version of jazz. And it's just the way Jeff Goldblum talks.
Starting point is 00:15:07 Absolutely. It is. And I, you know, I strive to find the most melodic people on, on anything that I, any project that I make. Yes, I'll do it. Oh. Wait, I'm sorry. That was my next question. I thought that was an invite.
Starting point is 00:15:19 I've got the rights to one song and now I'm going to be in another song This is the worst day for your career ever Spending a lot of money I said you were on fire And you are but it ends here I'm like negative like $26 I've got to mention
Starting point is 00:15:39 We'll talk more about the album in a second But when I say a second I mean towards the end of the interview But you killed the national anthem And you must be getting at the Super Bowl Very hard song to sing. It is. It's a very hard song, he said, being a comedian, not a musician.
Starting point is 00:15:54 But I've always heard the trick is, and the Rocket's Red glare takes such a big leap. Who owns the national anthem? I'm sure Trump has it now, but. No, he bought the rights, like six weeks, you know, when no one was looking. But what I've always heard the secret is to start low. Well, that's what I would do. I would be like, oh, say. I would start down there.
Starting point is 00:16:20 Well, you were doing it in C major. Oh, sir. Say, can you. So then when I go up to hand the rocket's red. You'd have to go an octave up from. Actually, no, you're correct. Oh, say. I have.
Starting point is 00:16:33 I was right, wasn't I? Oh, say, can you see? Hand the rocket's red glare. Would you have to feel so patriotic in this moment? I mean, visually, if I can represent. reason why it's hard to sing is because, like, you start if you're going to start here, and then you have to go here, and then you have to actually go up here at the middle end of, at the end of the song, so you don't get a break.
Starting point is 00:17:00 When I see someone start the national anthem too high, ho, ho say, I'm like, you're dead. You are dead. And I say that. I start screaming at the TV, you're dead! Yeah, because then you act to awkwardly change keys. Nobody comes to mind because everybody nails the national anthem. obviously. Oh, I bet you have some...
Starting point is 00:17:22 No, everyone's great. You seem like too nice a guy, but you know... I know in your head right now there are some names of people... I think we're all thinking of... But you're correct. When you start too high... What's that? What's that?
Starting point is 00:17:34 Fergie. I'm trying to get off the exit here. Yeah. You're fine. You didn't say anything, Charlie, and I didn't say anything. What are you saying, Sona? Fergie. She famously went crazy.
Starting point is 00:17:45 She went Buck Wild with the Star-Spangled banner. Did she start too high? I don't know. Don't ask me, man. I don't know. I think I'm toned up. This is Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of yours? Yes, yes, Sarah Ferguson. Okay, well, she had no business singing the National Anthem. I know, I'm still very young in the National Anthem. It's coming. It's coming. Thanks, Charlie. I will start low. I will start low. Yeah, but you are correct in your assessment. You don't want to start like,
Starting point is 00:18:25 Oh, say, because then you have to go. I wonder how high I could start and still hit it. Oh, say, can you see by the dawns early light? What's so oddly we hear in the light of the deaning. There is certain must ask of what about a day. Oh, ha, ba, ba, ba. Be best say, ba, shaba. Here we go.
Starting point is 00:18:47 A modern day mini Ripperton. You know what? You ran out of a keyboard. And I saw you pull some extra white keys out of your pocket and glue them. I had to really drive the shit up. You got really loud there for a second. Yeah, it's insane. It's insane.
Starting point is 00:19:16 It's kind of like a cross between Tiny Tim and like Freddie Mercury. How dare you? Yeah, yeah, it was. It's a very good musical analysis. I had my testicles removed six weeks. ago in preparation for this interview. And I'm told they might be able to reattach them. Might.
Starting point is 00:19:35 If they can find them. See, you don't get stuff like this in Santa Barbara. Where I live. You have to come to Hollywood for this shit. You know what I love? Charlie, there's a, you perform a great service, which is, I just want to make sure I get the title right. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:56 Professor Puth, TikTok series. You have this TikTok series that I enjoy because I'm an amateur musician and I like to play around with guitar and I like to try and make music with other musicians in my way. A lot of qualifiers there. You're a musician. You're downplaying it. Well, I love doing it. It's a big part of my, like, private hobby life.
Starting point is 00:20:22 But I've always been phobic about. theory. And I was phobic about math when I was a kid. And when people would bring up math, I would think, I'm not smart. I can't do this. And I would shut down about math. And I'm the same way when people bring up theory, I love to mess around on the guitar. And then when someone says, well, that's interesting. That's the relative minor. So you can take the relative minor. But remember, if you play the flat, remember, there are three flats, I just black out. I do too. You do? Absolutely, I do. I'm not just saying that to make you feel better. I really, I really, I remember, there's a, you know,
Starting point is 00:20:58 Solfetch, Doe Ramey Faso, Laoselot, you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is put in place so you can know, it's like, it's built as a reference for singers. So like, do. Oh, now it's a toy piano sound. Yeah. Good job, Schroeder.
Starting point is 00:21:12 This is C is Doe, and then Fah's F, but I don't need Doe Fah, like, it's an extra effort for me to remember that. I just know it's C and F, so I would go to my teacher and be like, I don't know how to read Solfetch. She was like, well, you have to know how to read. You're in fucking Solfesh class. I don't like the way this teacher talked to you.
Starting point is 00:21:33 And I was like, if you don't know how to read it properly, you have to go to Solfesh 3. And I would hold up the piece of paper, but I can sing and play back every note perfectly because I don't need the reference. I have it in my head. She said, it doesn't matter. You have to go back to three. So I share that with you where I would get nervous. You have this great, you know, I use the term. origin story a lot on the podcast, but you have this moment, you're interested in music,
Starting point is 00:22:07 clearly, and you know you have a facility with music. Have I made it clear? Well, there was a keyboard in front of you, which Al Pacino did not have. But you, you went to Catholic school. I did, yeah. You had a moment in Catholic school when, is this correct, an organist, someone who played the organ for you guys at, you know, at a mass or something wasn't present. Do we have an Wrigan sound? I don't think we do. But yeah. Did we get you this or did you bring it? I brought it. Just because it has my initial CP on it.
Starting point is 00:22:41 Very nice. It's not my piano. I just, it's tiny enough or it's not super invasive. See that self-involve that you need your name on everything. Very narcissistic. Okay. I saw your license plate on your car when you drove it as Puth rules. Yes. Puths in here. Yeah. But yes, the church organists didn't show up and they were going to play it. It was the time of a life where they would play things on tape. I don't even know if that exists anymore, but they were going to play the whole mass on tape and awkwardly pause it.
Starting point is 00:23:11 They sometimes wouldn't pause it correctly. And then I was like, I know the whole mass from memory. I've heard the songs so many times because I thought it was like, if you look at a cup with a deer on it, you're going to remember what the deer looks like. If you have a bit that you have to memorize, like if you read it enough, you're going to remember eventually if you read it enough times. I thought that was the same thing for everybody just with sound.
Starting point is 00:23:38 And apparently it wasn't typical. And that's how I discovered it. Yeah, that's funny that you thought, well, wait a minute. Okay, the organist isn't here. The person was supposed to play. How can I make this about me? Yeah. Well, I would do that, but then have nothing to back it up.
Starting point is 00:23:55 But you thought to yourself, I, oh, I've heard these a bunch of times. time, so I'll just go up and play them, and you didn't know that was unusual. No, I didn't because, again, I thought it was just like if you study for a vocabulary test, if you need to memorize the definition of whatever, and not the word, whatever, I know, actually, what is the definition of anywho? You read a bunch of definitions, you're going to memorize them because you heard it so many, or read it so many times. I attribute it the same feeling with sound.
Starting point is 00:24:27 If I hear a James Taylor song 10 times, I'm going to know it. right away. Right. It endlessly fascinates me. That's why I... That fascinates me too. I love your TikToks. I really love your TikToks because,
Starting point is 00:24:39 and this is where it all started, I love when you explain something that I've been hearing and it's around, but now you're explaining why so many songs sound like this. I remember watching one. I forget what it's called, but that whole trend in music
Starting point is 00:24:55 where there's a soft and a loud, a soft and a loud, and a soft and a loud oscillating. And it's become such a, The side chain compression. Side chain compression, which we... That was so cool. Yes.
Starting point is 00:25:08 I'm sorry. Do you want me to do it again? Oh, no, no, no. You mean what Charlie did. What Charlie was doing. She meant what Charlie was doing musically was the one you were interested in. That's what I like. Were you trying to beatbox?
Starting point is 00:25:19 What were you doing? I was choking on a chicken bone. Okay, that makes sense. But so, no, but what you were doing was you started explaining what that is and I realized I have heard that a million times. Right. It's always associated with like a club. It's in like every, you know, episode of euphoria.
Starting point is 00:25:36 There's people crying, crying with lots of makeup. And it's like, oint, oint, oint, oint, oint. Whatever you do it, please, I don't want to do it again. Sounds like a pig in distress or something. Son, I don't understand. You really love this when I do this. That's exactly what Charlie did. Please, Charlie, I beg you.
Starting point is 00:25:55 So everybody, like, if you went up to someone on Larchmont right now And it was like, what does dance music sound like? They would go, they would put their hands. If you're in New Jersey, they would put their hands in the other, they'd be like, but my goal is, so everyone knows that that's like, you know, the broad terminology of like what dance music sounds like, but my goal is to like take it one step further for people for them to understand
Starting point is 00:26:17 that all that is is just volume automation, you know, like. Right. That's just me playing, rising falling, rising falling. And it's just volume down, volume up, volume down, volume up. But then what's cool is you tell. about how a lot of people would think, okay, that's in club music now. Yes, it is, but you'll say, well,
Starting point is 00:26:36 they were doing it in the 70s with, in the 60s with this, then the 70s, they, you know, Donna Summer. It wasn't as obvious though. It was just more of like a way to, it was more of like a really secret engineering trick. Right, a little spice that they were putting in and not telling anybody.
Starting point is 00:26:53 And then everyone exaggerates it more and more and more. It's like so many other things in music, you can hear some, Something's going on in Sun Session records in the 19, in 1954, 55. And it's now we can say, well, it's kind of just sounds kind of very much country. But at the time, it sounded very different to people because, and then people just kept tweaking it and tweaking it and it became, you know. I mean, everybody wants more of what they like.
Starting point is 00:27:23 So, like when I first heard the black album, Metallica, like sad but true, the really bright 90s large like a motorcycle fucking metal kind of kind of sound then I started here that came from or might have been inspired by like living on a prayer
Starting point is 00:27:47 Bon Jovi or another Lang record where they were experimenting but where did what came before living on a prayer I'm generalizing like in the air tonight Phil Collins, big Peter Gabriel, Phil Collins, gated drum sounds. Yep. Everything, you can trace, the cool thing about music is that you can trace everything back to something.
Starting point is 00:28:06 Yes. And that's the thing that's true of my business has been comedy, and it is so important for people to know, no one's coming along with a fresh slate. Everybody is coming to their, call it a craft, call it a pastime, call it a career, whatever. They're all coming to it with this gum, that they grew up eating, you know, that was just a mix of so many other influences, and everybody's starting with that. So you could, you know, you could say, oh my God, the, I like the most hardcore thrash metal. Yeah. But those guys will tell you, well, actually, I was listening to,
Starting point is 00:28:48 you know, REO Speedwagon in high school, and you'd be like, wait a minute, REO Speedwagon, and I'm making this up, because I don't think that's possible. No, but I, like, do you I mean, they heard something in that that then they extrapolated and pulled out and got to where they wanted to go. Like, do you remember the first time you ever saw, I guess, the video of, like, Kinnison at Dangerfields? Yeah, yeah, like when he just got up there and started yelling. Yeah, yeah. Had anybody done that in comedy before where they just, like, I just got back from a seven-lum, I was saying, Marble! Like, like, I, Dice had his, like, you know, a cigarette behind the ear kind of like, schick and everything.
Starting point is 00:29:26 like that, but like where did that come from the Nettie Murphy thing? Did that come from a, like, there are Brian Regan not cursing at all in his, in his bits. I don't know if you're enemies of these people or if you. No. I hope you're friendly with all of them. You've not named an enemy yet, but if you keep going, no, I don't, I don't have enemies. I would listen to like 2005 Dane Cook where he's cursing all over the place, but then I'd hear like a couple of years prior, Brian Regan where he wasn't. It was like maybe he was listening to that, but just like added in the curses for like extra effect. Like I think a lot of comedians are also musicians too because I think that there's a lot of parallels. Well, we talk about this a lot. I bring it up a lot because it
Starting point is 00:30:06 fascinates me. Everyone in comedy envies musicians, I believe, whether they consciously or unconsciously do it. I very consciously envy musicians because I always look at a musician as someone who's not judged moment to moment. And I envy that. That's not right. But what I'm saying moment to moment, I mean, when you start and you play one of your songs,
Starting point is 00:30:35 people aren't playing, I like this part. Oh, no, no, I don't like that part. Oh, but I like this part again. Oh, but I don't like this part now. That's not how they think about music. And that is very much comedy is moment to moment. Like you get a laugh and then you do another thing.
Starting point is 00:30:50 and like, less of a laugh. And then sometimes like, oh, yeah. And I don't think that happens in music. And I think I've always envied, if you go out and play your hits, everyone's going to be so happy the whole time. Springsteen's back out there now with the East Street band. And I think, I got to go to that show. Yeah, yeah, it's going to be amazing.
Starting point is 00:31:12 But no one's, no one's saying, okay, I like this part of this song. Oh, I don't like this part as much. But no comic ever gets to the point where they're not. judged, I think, moment to moment, in my opinion. I'm sure Bruce has had fans who are like, do we have to hear the fucking rising one more time? Do we have to get to glory days? Let's get to...
Starting point is 00:31:33 Yeah. I just put out an album, and of course, I'm like, any artist that says that they're not reading reviews or scouring the internet is lying. I am like, I look at this, I look at these reviews as much as my child. I'm... And you nurture them.
Starting point is 00:31:52 You nurture them. I take them too seriously sometimes. My wife tells me to stop looking at them. I saw this one, and everyone's entitled to their opinion, I saw this one review saying that Charlie just put out an album, and it is just another soulless attempt at trying to be an artist, and that really hurt my feelings because I actually put my heart and soul in this, and I didn't make this album to make a bunch of hit songs.
Starting point is 00:32:15 I wanted to actually talk about, you know, fatherhood, my family, and like other things like that, and they're like, boo, doesn't have a catchy hook. It's like, I've had, you know, I had my song attention. You just want to, attention, you just want to know. I had that song out.
Starting point is 00:32:30 It was a number one record, and we couldn't sell 3,000 tickets in, I think it was Chicago. It was like 2,000 tickets. 2,000 people's a lot, but it was a tour meant for 5,000, 6,000 people. I've had hit songs out. People knew the hits more than they knew me.
Starting point is 00:32:46 My goal, on this, album was for people to know me. And sometimes I get jealous of comedians because you know their personality. Like when I first time I saw Ralphie Mae, it's like I became obsessed with like Greg Geraldo. And like I just, I felt like I knew their personality. Yeah. They've both passed, haven't they?
Starting point is 00:33:04 Yeah. That's okay. Oh, man. I just named two people that passed. That's okay. It happens, you know? People die. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:33:12 Like I know you're, I feel like I know you because I've obviously grown up watching you and like your delivery. It's like you are who you portray yourself to be. Whereas a musician, it takes a couple of years for people to get to know you, unless you just nail it right out of the part. That's interesting to me that you have worked so many great artists, and then yourself have had so many hits. People know your name, and now you're saying,
Starting point is 00:33:35 yeah, I really want to get into the autobiographical part of songwriting and have people connect to you that way. That makes perfect sense to me. As far as critics go, there's no escaping criticism. And I got to a point in my career where I don't look for it. I have, you know, sometimes you are just confronted whether you want to know it or not with the good and the bad. But, and usually people tell you, if there's something really mean about you out there, you'll find out because you're garbage man will say, hey, did you see that? you know, and I'll say, well, I didn't, but thank you.
Starting point is 00:34:19 I don't think you're the worst fuckhead in the world. Well, I appreciate that. Why are you eating so much dairy? Yeah, right. Now, the dairy is another issue. We'll talk about the dairy. It's coating your stomach for the morning. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:37 But I would agree with your wife that you don't, I don't think it's necessary to seek it out because you know when you're doing work that you like that's important to you. And so that's why I would agree with her that you going on the internet and looking for what do people think about Charlie Puth is unnecessary.
Starting point is 00:34:58 Everybody does it, though. I mean, and I totally agree with you. It is completely unnecessary, but like it's almost like high school. You just like want validation sometimes. You poured your heart and soul into this and you just want people to at least like take a listen to it and understand.
Starting point is 00:35:13 am, but there are so many, there's millions of people that already haven't. Listen, I'm coming across as if I'm scolding you or telling you this is ridiculous. I completely understand what you're saying, but I've spent a lifetime around people that are looking for validation. And then they're like, well, first I got to do this sold out series of concerts at Madison Square Garden. And then I'm getting knighted in England. And then I am have to go to Spain where they're actually making me a member of the royal family. You know, and it's just one of these funny things about human beings. And trust me, anytime I do anything, I think this is the test of whether I'm any good or not.
Starting point is 00:35:59 And I recalibrate every time I set all the clickers back to zero. I think you guys could agree that all the clickers go back to zero. And it's like, you're giving a small toast at a Christmas part. Yes, I know. But these are good friends of mine, and this has to be the greatest toast of all time. And if it isn't, I'm nothing. So I'm telling you that, yes, we're all ridiculous people. But at the same time, because I'm not you, I can say, you do not need to be hunting on the internet and reading, oh, good. Someone wrote something nasty. I need to read every single word of it because I don't think it serves you. It doesn't serve your creativity. I don't think it's doing anything. No, it doesn't. you don't know what that person's going through, which is they really, you know, they made it, they wanted to do what you're doing possibly or they have biases. Of course they do. I've experienced, I've had interactions like that before. There was this like bartender who was very rude to me. And then I was, I was, I'm never rude to people like, because I, I always have that like mentality of like
Starting point is 00:37:05 they might be going through something. And it turns out that like he didn't get into the school that I went to. And like it's, he was very well aware that I went to. And like it's, he was very well aware that I went that school. It all had to do very little with the fame aspect, with the school aspect. And I, then I ended up having a great conversation with him about music. Right. Was this Berkeley? This was somewhere in Woodstock, Vermont. But I mean, it was the school of Berkeley. Oh, the school was Berkeley. Yeah. Ever been to Woodstock, Vermont? Yes, I have. Gorgeous. Yeah, beautiful. New England. And yet, this person's living in beautiful Woodstock, Vermont, and they're bitter and angry, you know. Maybe not anymore. No. I think after they, they, they, they,
Starting point is 00:37:43 They already had a resentment towards you. Then they met you and you were really nice. He's twice as bitter now. And he's nice. Yeah. He should have been a dick is what you're saying. If you had been a dick, then this guy would have been so happy right now. I'm glad I'm not him.
Starting point is 00:37:58 Then I'd be a dick. But now he's, I mean, he's probably not alive anymore. I'm just going to put it out there. Oh, God. This took a turn. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I think it's a good chance that person no longer walks the earth and it's your fault.
Starting point is 00:38:11 But anyway, let's move on. God. I've got to get into music because I can't be a comedian anymore. You're sick. I'm just a broken man. You're so sick. But it's going to be fine. It's like when you watch the sitcom and you hear like, you know, the...
Starting point is 00:38:32 They're there. Everything's going to be okay. And then you hear the audience clapping like, oh. Yeah, yeah. And then you have to have... And then like cousin Uncle Jesse comes in and you have to... some sort of like comedic break. I'm like,
Starting point is 00:38:46 anybody want to go get tacos? And then the credits fucking roll. Going on tour. Going on tour. And this is a big tour. Big tour. What's the name of it? Is it named after your album?
Starting point is 00:38:59 It is the whatever's clever world tour. And I will be on stage with my band. And they're the best band in the music industry. They make me sound so good. And it's just a joy to share the same. stage with them every single night. You have to come to a show. I would love to come to a show.
Starting point is 00:39:16 You come to the forum show. And maybe if you want me to come out, sing a song. I know this is coming, so I want to save you the embarrassment. No, I'm serious. And you just, you throw out a key, because I also have perfect pitch. I feel like you actually might. Comedically, I have perfect pitch. I never, oh, wait, I just did that thing about a guy killing himself.
Starting point is 00:39:36 Yeah, you did. What's a show? So what's another song that we might all know that you, like something in the way she moves, James Taylor, sweet Caroline, Neil Diamond. What's it? Pit bull! I was mocking him with, I was doing a pit bull sing earlier.
Starting point is 00:39:53 I wrote a pit bull song. Which one? It didn't do very well, but I wrote one. It was called, oh, God, it was part of a movie. This was back in 2014. Was it men in black? It was men in black. It was, no, it was called Celebrate.
Starting point is 00:40:07 And it was a, I just want to celebrate. And then he did his thing. And we've been around the world same song. I'm Pitbull. Yeah, yeah. I'm Pitbull and I'm here to say. I'm going to rock the USA. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:40:25 I was driving in to work today and I was flipping around FM radio, which I never do just randomly. And I heard this song. And I'm like, what is that? And they were, whoever the rapper was, I find out later on, it's Pitbull was sampling, Baby, who, you're the one. down down this late 50s or 60s hit and I um what is that song called because what I was going to ask you
Starting point is 00:40:50 is if you can sing a song that you like and see if it's actually in the key of what the song actually is. All right I'm going to sing um has a runaway and we're going to get in trouble because we can't do these songs but it'll have to keep it quick. It's a very expensive guest that I am. Yeah I forget well don't even say don't even sing just sing the first song Sing the first note of a song that you like. Wow, I'm going to see.
Starting point is 00:41:14 Wow, this is incredible. Like, do you know Sweet Carol? Sweet Caroline. Yeah, not so. I mean, I hear the way that Boston Red Sox crowd sings it. And we know they've been drinking. And they've got 40 days. You sing a lot.
Starting point is 00:41:30 I'm going to give you 40 days. That's Ronnie Hawkins and the Hawks, 40 days. How about a Jack White song? You are going to be friends. Ideally, a song. I know so I can see if he's correct. You know, we are going to be friends. Fall is here.
Starting point is 00:41:43 Hear the young. Oh, you're stumping me. I usually know every song. Okay. It's a very famous song and I'm ashamed of you. We can get off it if you want. But like I just know, I feel like I want to hear this. Cupid by Sam Cupid.
Starting point is 00:41:59 I don't know that. What the fuck's going on? What the fuck is wrong with you? I don't know that song either. I don't know it. Dyes so that you could live. Oh my. What?
Starting point is 00:42:08 I mean, we got to bring it up into the right time. What about a Beatles song? Oh, yeah, a Beatles song. Well, of course, we all know those. Help, I need somebody help. I think that's B minor. It starts often. Yes, it is.
Starting point is 00:42:20 Okay, so, help. I need some. Is that, did I just sing in B minor? Well, you're doing it in D minor. Yeah, well, I fixed it. I often fix Beatles songs. You know the first chords of B minor, so you definitely have some extra recollection. I do.
Starting point is 00:42:37 I remember that. That's fascinating. Okay. Okay, I'll admit something. You talk about this song where you make fun of your prior self or... Yes. And talk about how I used to be cringe. And I think one of the reasons I identify with that song is that I always want on this podcast to underscore that that is the human condition.
Starting point is 00:43:09 It's not the Conan O'Brien condition. It's not the Charlie Puth condition. it is the human condition that we are very self-critical. And we think our former selves were illegitimate, and then we've slowly worked our way to legitimacy, or we're not quite there yet, but we will be someday. And I think that's just a fallacy. I think we, so your song was about how I used to do this.
Starting point is 00:43:34 I used to wear my hair differently. I used to try and throw out these words to seem cool. And I think, yeah, this song is, special was resonated with me just because I think I do that about musicians. I think they're real, you know, they're real because you can sit here and you can make magic with this keyboard and you can write these songs that two billion people will listen to. And I think, oh, that's many, many levels above what a comedian does. And I think a lot of comedians do that. I think a lot of us lower ourselves around musicians. Because I just, I think we put musicians on.
Starting point is 00:44:12 on a pedestal and maybe rightfully so. I don't think you lower yourself, you just sang the fucking national anthem, right, Tilly? I think, but I understand. I didn't sing it as high as I think I could sing it. But this is very, I didn't know that this was gonna be so introspective. This is very, continue.
Starting point is 00:44:26 Sorry, I won't, I won't. No, I like it. Every now and then some real stuff breaks out here and we try to clean it up in editing and add fart sounds. Why do you think you'd lay, comedians will lower themselves when they're on musicians? Well, I think comedians are all about,
Starting point is 00:44:40 they're well defended. You know, there it's all about, keep the conversation moving. Keep the conversation moving, slip and move and make fun of yourself before someone else can make fun of you. There's a lot of tricks that we all employ because really we're just protecting ourselves. A lot of really funny comedians grew up not being able to fight, and this is what we could do. And so it literally is kind of a weapon. It's a survival mechanism. And these aren't new observations.
Starting point is 00:45:10 This is as old as time. do think that a lot of comedians can grow up thinking, yeah, I do this because I literally had to make my mark or survive in some way, not literally survive, but survive these social situations. And then music just feels so instantly like, oh my God, that's great. Do more of that. You know, when you come across someone who's playing the piano really well, you just think instantly, oh my God, that's like God is speaking through them. And I don't think we think that way about comedy. God is not speaking through me.
Starting point is 00:45:46 And if he was, God should be sued. But you know what I mean? And so I'm not, this isn't false modesty. This is what I really believe is that when someone is playing with these sounds and manipulating them in a way and creating these patterns seemingly without effort, I know there's a lot of practice involved and there's a lot of work, but when they sit down and they're just messing around
Starting point is 00:46:12 and you see the film Get Back, the recut version of Let It Be, when you see that and you see Paul McCartney's sitting with his bass and he's frustrated because they need a song and he just starts over and over again banging and then you see it become the song Get Back through sheer force of will and creativity and he does it in real time
Starting point is 00:46:38 and it's this song that again is in my head and I could make noises to simulate it. I know the scene you're talking about. Yeah, and he's just there
Starting point is 00:46:48 with his, they're like, they need something and he just keeps with a bass, which I did not think of as a songwriter's instrument. I think it's guitar
Starting point is 00:46:57 or it's often keyboard or piano, but he's there with a bass and he's just, and he's like, okay, yeah, yeah, I see what it is now. I just got a man. Don't sing too much.
Starting point is 00:47:08 He'll have to pay. McCartney isn't cheap. And McCartney will, he's monitoring this stuff right now himself. He listens to this podcast because he knows. Right. A culture. I got you. See what you done?
Starting point is 00:47:20 Because he's the master of television. None of this is like all of this is not even about me. It's not for if a musician, the reason, well, not the reason. This is how I'll say. Musicians that make it all about themselves are the first to fall, in my opinion. because like it's not this I didn't invent this chord this is like some god particle thing and then we apply our human experience right chords the like that sounds ugly but like when you put like it starts to resolve like that that does something that that can make anybody if there
Starting point is 00:47:53 were a hundred people in here and I played like a fire alarm everybody would like you know wince in the cover their ears but you can they're not going to do that if I do it's going to be like they're not going to there's a difference like you can do that that's a very primitive example but like you can do that through intervals and chords
Starting point is 00:48:12 and then it's our goal as humans and job as humans to put our experience in what was made for us already yeah the stage was set you know it's interesting the parallel that I always find is because there are certain rules
Starting point is 00:48:28 that exist obviously in Greek tragedy I mean the Greeks invented so much great salad by the way Oh geez But I just looked at Sona because she's Park Greek
Starting point is 00:48:42 Like I invented the salad Well your people did And I'm proud of you You're welcome My gut feels amazing every time I eat What you've made Welcome But you know
Starting point is 00:48:54 There's dramatic structure There's dramatic structure And if you look You know plays Novels any story Has a dramatic structure Sitcoms have a structure you know, and then you look at a lot of it is creating tension and then resolving tension.
Starting point is 00:49:12 And that's what so much of music is, is, you know, you, and then you're on the E, you're on the, you know, and then you get back to the A and you're just like there's this feeling of. Yeah. Happy. Happy. Sad. Yeah. Happy. Tension resolve.
Starting point is 00:49:30 Yeah. And it's just, I think it's the soundtrack. for most mood stabilizer commercials is, you know, someone's, I don't feel good, I don't feel good, but then you tried milliastra, you know, and then, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:46 And it's usually a ukulele or something. Yeah, yeah. And then all the side effects. Yeah, yeah. Side effects include. Massive diarrhea, more diarrhea. Your diarrhea will have diarrhea. People near you will have diarrhea.
Starting point is 00:50:02 That's called sympathetic diarrhea. They changed the key. Yeah, they changed the key a bit. Also, diarrhea and a higher key. But, you know, that... I remember there's a... I'm trying to think... There's a lead-sep...
Starting point is 00:50:16 Diary in a higher key is what the tour should be called. I'm going on tour. Or just open with that song. Yeah. I think it's Kashmir, you know, da-na-na-da-da-na-na-t. Yeah, we really got to be careful because Jimmy Page...
Starting point is 00:50:30 Jimmy Page is on the same. He's watching on the same Zoom with Sir Paul. Oh, there he goes. That's a song that stays forever. And then it's, I mean, these are very simple elemental changes, you know, and I don't know. I don't know that song that well. It's not in my head. But, you know, it's like it's in, it's almost like it's in E for a long time.
Starting point is 00:50:54 And then it goes to E7. And so you can sort of see like the ice is starting to break and it's agonizingly long. And then suddenly it goes to like A. And every time that happens, every time I hear it in any context, I think, I've just seen the face of God. And it's the simplest move in the world,
Starting point is 00:51:12 but that is, I think what a lot of people in comedy do as well, which is you create this tension of what this person is saying is completely outrageous. And then laughter is the resolution. People laugh and it's like, oh, good. We're out of that long-sustained E-7
Starting point is 00:51:28 and now we're into an A-M-A. It's like, oh. Yeah. Yes, this person just, save the day and what it is is creating this unbearable tension and then breaking it. I've just ruined everything by trying to explain. People hate this. I knew walking in here that I was, you know, your staff is wonderful.
Starting point is 00:51:46 They were like, it's going to be fun. It's like, yeah, I know it's going to be fun. But what you're not telling me is that it's going to be thought provoking. I always have really interesting, awesome conversations with Dave Chappelle, yourself, Will Farrell. It's never, I feel like the common misconception when you have a sit down with a comedian or an actor is that they're going to be 100% that person that you're thinking of.
Starting point is 00:52:10 There's so much more. Every time Will's a really good friend of mine, I'm sure you know him as well. He's an enemy. Okay, he's an enemy. And so is Chappelle. You just name my two arch enemies. I hate those guys.
Starting point is 00:52:23 And they have no talent. None. None. None. Sad what happened to them. Anyway, continue. My media training is... Whatever you do, don't mention Will Ferrell or Dave Chappelle DeCone-O'Brien, because he hates them.
Starting point is 00:52:42 No, there are two spectacular geniuses, in my opinion. I'm not like slapping my knee laughing, like, talking to them. I'm, like, kind of, like, really intrigued what they have to say because there's a lot of parallels drawn. Well, it's the same thing that happens to me. If I'm talking to, you know, the times that I've had a chance to... have a conversation with, say, a Paul McCartney, I don't walk away thinking, what the hell was that?
Starting point is 00:53:06 He made no music while we spoke. You know? And it's the same thing, because the first time I met Steve Martin years and years and years ago when I was a writer on Saturday Night Live, I went into the meeting to pitch him ideas thinking he's going to have an arrow through his head
Starting point is 00:53:22 by 1978, like the jerk? Yeah, he's going to, you know, there's part of you that thinks that's you're going to be talking to. Yeah, exactly. That it would be that era. That's the era that I first, that's how I first experienced Steve Martin. And then you walk in and it's this very, very serious.
Starting point is 00:53:41 Serious is a heart attack guy who's trying to figure out what he's going to do that week, talking in a very soft-spoken voice. And he can access that, but he's not going to do that right now. So that's fascinating to me. Yeah. Yeah. So I am me all the time. I guess I, if you see me,
Starting point is 00:54:00 At Chipotle, I'm not going to be how you see me on the internet. So I guess it's the same thing. I have, you know, days where I'm super quiet and I don't want to be like music, music, music. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and there are days where it's the last thing you probably, like, I don't want to do that today. Oh, I just want to watch Doug DeMere, you ever seen Doug Demiro on cars? Cars and Vids.com. I don't think I know that.
Starting point is 00:54:25 No, I don't know that. It's just this super niche community of car lovers of the modern era. Like if I can tell you all you need to know about the Saturn view. Oh, wow. So cars of the modern era. Cars of the modern era. Anything below 70s, like, I don't know what a fucking 79 Corvette is supposed to look like. But I can tell you everything about the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the Leif.
Starting point is 00:54:53 Like, I, I, I love, even phones, I like that. A guy just going on and on about, okay, I got this Nissan leak. And, you know, it runs at 40 watts. I bumped it up to 41. This sucker will do out of the gate, it'll do 35 miles per hour at top speed. I do know the statistics if you're a straight four cylinder, but it's... You got a four under that hood? In that leaf?
Starting point is 00:55:24 What do you got in that leaf? You got a four? Like, do you know what I sit about, I think about when my wife's trying to watch her heated rivalies and whatever. Oh, my God. I lay down and think, why did the Yukon Denali in 2002? I'm serious. Why did GMC have this beautiful insignia and this chrome door handle on the Yukon Denali in 2002? And then in the 2003 model year, they got rid of it.
Starting point is 00:55:52 This is crazy. You're going to say I'm making this up. I have my notes here for the conversation. Denali right here. Why did they lose it on the door? Right here. So to believe me. So to believe.
Starting point is 00:56:05 Did you believe me? I did. That's insane. I know. I'm very going to go into an interview with Charlie Pooze to talk about the Denali. You were so sincere. I just brought it up. I didn't know.
Starting point is 00:56:15 I thought maybe he mentioned it. I don't know. You're a fool. To be fair, I thought he was serious too. Thank you, Charlie. I have a way of committing. Yes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:25 I'm going to say something because we. ran out of time a while ago, and I've been keeping it going because I... Just having too much fun. I was having so much fun. I'm shocked you haven't been here before. And our booker, Paula Davis, I went to her a while ago and I said, let's get Charlie Puth on. I love him. I watch his TikToks.
Starting point is 00:56:45 And she said, no, not going to do it. Not going to do it. And I kept pushing her and she's like, no, no, no, no. She was like, no, we're not going to do it. And I said, why can't we have Charlie on the show? And she said, because you can't handle the Puth. Oh. I gotta go. I gotta go. I can't do this anymore. I gotta go. Oh, God. I gotta go.
Starting point is 00:57:02 What are you? Is it the end of the podcast? No, yeah, it's done. It was good working with you. That was awful. Jesus Christ. You can't handle the pooth. You can't handle the pooth. Listen, I am so mad. I thought it was just because I was just recently taken seriously, like a year ago. I feel like people are finally, like, actually taking me. No, it's because it lines up so perfectly with you can't handle the truth. And what I took was... Hold on, let me explain. Let me explain. Let me explain.
Starting point is 00:57:29 And then your last name's Puth. And so I took this iconic... What's this? You can't give me thumbs down on this. You're explaining it. That's the problem. Is that now we're going into... It's bad enough.
Starting point is 00:57:40 You can't handle the Puth. No. That's bad enough you did it. That's a great, great bit. Did it end? I don't understand. Yeah, I think we're done. No, no.
Starting point is 00:57:50 It didn't. Okay. This is how I wish we had started. and I wish this had happened in the middle and then at the end as the resolution. I see. Charlie, that cup has been empty for a while. You're just looking for a way out.
Starting point is 00:58:06 It's just lukewarm, air one bone broth. No, what are you talking about? You are a phenomenally talented young fellow. And I'm, I just knew, because I also, I see your sense of humor, too, when I watch your videos. I'm like, okay. this guy does what I wish I could do and he's funny and you're a massive success. So I was really happy.
Starting point is 00:58:31 That's a trip to me because you are such a massive success and I haven't grown up watching you. And it's like now it's just so full circle. None of that stuff, I don't know. I don't think of myself that like this is me being as honest as I think I can be, which is I have been incredibly lucky and I love getting to do this thing, whatever it is. I won't put a name to it. But what I love about these conversations is trying to get to something that I don't think I'm ever going to crack, which is there's this thing we're all trying to figure out. And now you're going to go off, and I know exactly what you're talking
Starting point is 00:59:07 about. You're going to go off and play these amazing shows for sold out massive venues, but you're still trying to see Portland's not sold out. Portland is always tricky. Yeah, but there are, you know. They're drinking kombucha. Yeah, exactly. I don't know if they want to hear
Starting point is 00:59:28 we don't talk anymore. Some do. Yeah. Listen, first of all, you've now, we're not going to get Portland sold out by alienating Portland.
Starting point is 00:59:35 So I'm just going to say, I can't imagine a better place for you to play than Portland. I bet it's going to sound amazing. I mean, great donuts, great people.
Starting point is 00:59:45 They can't handle the booth. Maybe that's it. Maybe they can't handle the booth. We don't have to go back to that well. We just went back to equip that was cancerous. Yes, it was. I mean, it's toxic.
Starting point is 00:59:57 It was. You should apologize. I don't know. Is there any other musician you look up to? Other than me, of course. I look up to anyone that can make a living doing it. I think that's absolutely stunning. And that sounds, but I'm just amazed when, when, I mean, and my goal getting into this was
Starting point is 01:00:15 if I can pay my rent, thinking of funny little things or being weird, wouldn't that be the most amazing thing in the world. That was my idea in 1985, and it's still my idea. You know, it's like still like that is, it's not going to get better than that. Scale of things can change, but the actual mission doesn't change. So I'm just, I'm blown away when, I mean, I like to sit and talk to people. If I walk into a hotel lobby and someone's playing the piano there, I'm just, I think that must just be amazing to be able to sit and play the piano. And you've got a, you know, know, you've got a standing gig and people come and they listen to you and you get some free drinks. That's the part I would want.
Starting point is 01:01:01 Yeah. But you can, and I used to, that used to be one of my odd jobs is I would go, well, not odd. I would play the piano at bars. You can change the room with, you know, when you start playing piano, man. Yeah. I won't play any more of it. But, yeah. God, these laws are.
Starting point is 01:01:23 destroying, they're destroying podcasts. They are. Billy Joel needs that 35 bucks? No. But you would hear, like, you'd hear Rodney Dangerfield sit down with Johnny Carson and he would just like, the audience would change just based on the diction and like his delivery. And the expectation. So like Buddy Hackett or Rodney Dangerfield or any of these amazing comedians would sit down
Starting point is 01:01:50 with Johnny Carson when I was a kid. And my father and I and anyone else in the room would just be like, oh, this is going to be good. And that's what happens when you start to hear some of these iconic songs. When anyone's playing their hit, there's the, oh, my God. Everyone knows what's coming, and they're also delighted and excited for it, which is great. Except if you completely change the arrangement and make it not what it's supposed to sound like. Right, the Basanova version of Piano Man.
Starting point is 01:02:20 That's great. Artistic selfishness, but even Billy Joel, he says he's, and I've opened up for him a couple times. One show got rained out, but he's, I asked him, do you have to. Let me guess, Portland. No, Pittsburgh. Oh, damn it. He even said, he, like, I asked him, do you get tired of playing piano man?
Starting point is 01:02:39 And he was like, I do, but the crowd's reaction is worth everything. Wow. That's, you don't quote me exactly, but that's what I remember him saying to me in 2016. Did he say to you now, get out there and open this show? I'm not paying you to talk to me. Well, the show got rained out, and the show got rained out, and I was all bummed out. He came in, they were like, Mr. Joel wants to, uh, Billy wants to come in and, you know, offer his apologies. And he came in and he shrugged his shoulders.
Starting point is 01:03:07 He was like, what do you want me to do? And we took a picture. I have a guy that thinks he needs to apologize for the weather. I'm going to start doing that. Sorry, guys. Eclipse. What can I do? He didn't have to do that.
Starting point is 01:03:20 No, he's nice. He was very nice. Listen, an absolute delight. Congratulations, you are a new dad, which is the best thing you'll ever do. Shout out to Jude Puth. Jude, what a cool name. Hey, Jude. That's what we played during his birth. During the birth?
Starting point is 01:03:39 Yeah. That's a long enough song. The anesthesiologist, all the doctors were so, nah, nah, na, na, na, na, na, na. That's so cool. Yeah, and now every time I sing it to him, he goes, hmm. That and sing by the carpenters. He loves when the kids come in on the second verse. That's so cool.
Starting point is 01:03:57 My daughter's name is Sandman because we were listening to Metallica. And that was fucked up. But you know what? It turns out I can't. Sandman O'Brien. Just be careful. This is a public service. Be careful what you're listening to when a child is born.
Starting point is 01:04:16 Because it can go any different way, you know? Mm-hmm. Um, delight having you here, Charlie, really, and best of luck on this tour, you're going to kill it. Thank you. No more diving through the internet, not necessary. You don't need it. You're way past that a long time ago. I agree.
Starting point is 01:04:33 All right? My first interview with my permanent retainer. I just got it like right before this. You just got a permanent retainer? Is it behind your teeth? It's behind my teeth. No, it's right behind these forefront teeth here. Okay.
Starting point is 01:04:43 I don't know why. Why would you tell me that at all? Because it's a personal victory for it. me. I was kind of like nervous that I was going to talk weird. No, it was perfect. Yeah. And now I have, this is my first interview with an empty colon. Just there's nothing completely clean down there.
Starting point is 01:05:01 Completely empty colon. Is that something that we should be sharing? I mean, completely, completely. Haven't eaten in six days. Okay, we got it. Just then right before the podcast, that shabbatoo. Oh my God. Okay.
Starting point is 01:05:15 I'm an awful person. Charlie, I apologize to you to your team. Thank you so much for being here. This was so cool. Thank you for having me. Thank you, everybody. Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian and Matt Gawley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes.
Starting point is 01:05:40 Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Scyp. Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Khan. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com
Starting point is 01:06:21 And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien needs a friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

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