Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Claire Danes

Episode Date: June 12, 2023

Actress Claire Danes feels decidedly giddy about being Conan O’Brien’s friend. Claire sits down with Conan to discuss how an early interest in mimicry sparked a prolific lifelong career in the industry, throwing costume parties in her bachelorette pad, and the most emotionally striking scene from Fleishman Is In Trouble. Later, Matt Gourley opens the floodgates of rhyming reviews as the team Reviews the Reviewers. For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com.

Hi, my name is Claire Danes. And I am decidedly giddy about being a commoner Brian's friend. Ring the bell, brand new shoes, walking leaves, climb the fence, books and pens, I can tell that we are gonna be friends I can tell that we are gonna be friends Hey there, welcome to yet another episode, a thrilling episode of Conan O'Brien needs a friend joined by my oil gang, my chums, my comrades, Sonom Obsession. Hi. Good to see you.

Good to see you. No, you've been practicing that. That's good. And, um, and Mr. Matt Gourley, Matt, how are you? Hi. Good to see you. Hey, your citizenship classes are going very well. I love America.

It's a beautiful country. I can turn right at a red light. I am just back. I'm feeling good because I just got back from a a lengthy stay in New York City. Yeah. Did a bunch of podcasts records there. Very cool. And what we do is we sort of get some of the people that don't often get to this coast. Our great book or Paula Davis lined up just a murderers row of people to talk to. I'm sorry. What?

So many of those people come out to Los Angeles. Regularly. Many of them live here. Many of them live here. And it's like you caught them when they were in New York. So don't, don't do that. Yeah, it's brutal. Well, first of all, you do have a point there.

That every single person I talk to, not only regularly comes to Los Angeles, but of the, I think, seven people I interviewed during my week, I think six of them own homes within 300 feet of this building. I mean, that's the part that's really hard to swallow. Yeah, it is. It is. No, it's true.

Let's see, we talked to a lot of people, and I do say, I will say this, there are some interviews where I think I really miss you guys. There's some interviews, I'm sorry, I lock in, I'm having such a blast. Do I miss you? No. Oh.

That's gonna happen occasionally. I'll say I talked to seven people last week and I know you guys were very jealous that I talked to Matthew Reese. Yes. Your big Matthew Reese fans, and I don't know if it's gonna console you or not, but it's amazing as he was on Zoom in person, multiply that by a thousand.

What's he smell like? He smells like victory and pine. Like if you could take the pine scent plus just the smell of victory. Oh my God. So like if you built a log cabin out of the assault on Omaha Beach. Yes, exactly.

Yeah, that's a reference to D day. Yes, I know it is. I just, you probably think we attacked a beach in Omaha Nebraska, but that you know what that probably smelled a lot like death. So I think you know, I don't think that it was probably a good example. No, coast of France. Nice, briny smell. Beautiful. Yeah, you kind of I understand you're going a little hard at him, but you kind of came a little hard. I'm sorry. I know. That's sorry. It's weird when you two fight Yeah, we have to have a united front here because he's the one screwing us. Yeah, he went off to New York

I went to New York and you know what you know what's incredible is I looked at my I was wearing an Apple watch and In a wrist of crap Fancy man Sorry, I do live in a bubble. Oh, whoo. But I own one of those watches made by the Apple company. And it comes complete with an Apple strap.

And powered by Apple Energy. No, but I was wearing one just because, you know, you like to know what steps you're getting. And it's shocking. When you're in New York, and I'm just walking around doing things, and one day I did 10 miles. And then I think, you're a Los Angeles. You know, I get in my car,

I come here to the podcast studio, and then this is my choice. I'm carried by my assistant David, up and placed in my chair. Yeah. And then I'm carried back to my car and I go home and then this is a deal I have with my wife where I'm carried upstairs.

Okay. And so I barely move here in LA, but I got so much, I'm just walking and walking and I have killer abs right now. My ass is rock hard. Oh. Do you want to see my ass? Yeah. No, I'm good.

Wait, your birthday's coming up. I'll make sure. Ah. It's five o, I'll make sure. Ah. Ah. That's five o'clock to our morning, ass picked. It's exactly. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday.

You're like, what is this? You're like, what is this? One cheek birthday on the other. Why did someone send me a picture of these two soggy, uncooked English muffins? Oh, no, wait. Oh, wait a minute. Oh no. Why are they freckled English muffins?

Oh, come on. That's erotic. I like English muffin. Do you see that's erotic? I think it's very erotic. Okay. That's my ass ladies. Two, they've been soaked in brine

and then just taken out. They were never put through a toaster. Brine and they yeah yeah and then of course that tattoo we won't talk about that it's of an apple watch yeah it is it is amazing it was incredible, but I did miss you guys Sincerely I did miss you, but I think the interviews were really terrific and In no way hampered by our absence, but I also missed you and I think it was a great loss but at the same time I think of anything the interviews were enhanced but I think the quality really suffered there. I've covered all my You can walk in LA. I'm just saying, you know, I mean, I I have a very like not love hate. It's

I don't know what it is with New York City. Right. And I I mean, anytime someone says you could do this New York I mean, you could do that here too. You just walk somewhere else. Yeah, wait a minute. Okay. Uh, not really true is walk somewhere else. Yeah, wait a minute. Okay, not really true, because I've tried taking walks like my dream is to be able to ride my bike. I did get to talk to one guest who rides their bike everywhere

all through New York City. It's a surprise guest and it's a big deal. And you got a door dash delivery person on the podcast. Yes. Wow. We didn't have anyone that day. So I ordered a Caesar salad. No, I would love to be able to ride my bike.

It's very hard to do that in LA from say where I live to here because I live 175 miles away from this city. Yeah. But that's on me. But it is hard also to walk in LA. Sometimes you're walking, you're trying to walk some place and the sidewalk just stops. That doesn't happen in New York City. The sidewalk doesn't just stop anywhere. But you don't have to stop. You can keep walking into the street. Are you?

Oh, yeah, you can. Oh, sure you can. Yeah. And then you're immediately hit by a truck. I've been hit by trucks 15 times. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I don't think it is New York really a safe place to ride a bike because I've opened my door and hit a bike. Well, it's not safe clearly when you're opening doors. You're supposed to check, so now. So when you're kicking a door open and seeing death to all bikers and they go flying over the door, then no, it's not a good place to hang. Not at all. But yeah. I don't know if it's safe. Is it safe to bike? I don't think it's safe to bike.

Yes, there's a lot. It's much better because there are a lot of bike lanes. Okay. What you have to watch out for is many more people have electric bikes. And there are a lot of delivery people and they're going 140 miles an hour. Yes. And they've put, they've like strapped sharp knives to the front of their bikes.

It's like road warrior. Yeah, it's like road warrior. That's a little tricky. Yeah. But I would love to, I would love to be able to ride my bike to work. The only way I could do it is if I bought a really big pickup truck and just did little

figure eights in the back on my bike. So someone told you to drove me to work. Okay, all right, sure. I won't break suddenly. And for reasons I don't understand while I'm taking these tight circles, I go, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, that three-stooches curly noise,

the whole time I'm spinning around. All right, well, very happy about this. My guest today is an Emmy award-winning actress who starred as CIA agent Carrie Matheson for eight seasons of the Showtime series, Homeland. That is an iconic show. Now you can see here in the fantastic Hulu series. I loved this. Fleischman is in trouble.

I am thrilled, absolutely thrilled and delighted that she's here today. Claire Danes, welcome. It's very nice to see you again. It's nice to see you again. I'm going to say something that I hope this comes out right, but this is how I feel. Whenever I meet people, as I met you, many, many, many, many years ago, quite a few months, when you came on the show and probably for my so-called life, or something, you know, just like, I have this feeling and I've said this to like Scarlett Johansson who was on as a child actor. She was in a sketch that we

did, really? Where she played a, we built we build her as a, uh, spelling bee champion. And then we brought her out and we didn't tell the audience it was all a hoax. And she couldn't spell her way out of a paper bag, which was the joke. But I'll see you or her and I'll think, I'm like your uncle or something. Cause I, you've all, I mean, like you have done so well. And then I have this weird pride, which is gonna be this place, because I've had nothing to do with your life. I've done nothing other than have you on the show

a couple of times, so I've in no way contributed to your success, but I still have this kind of weird quasi-peternal thing that I don't quite understand. That's very sweet, and I will take that pride gladly and hungrily. Yeah, no, well father's day is coming up. I have also have a very nice memory of my wife and I this was a long time ago. Was it in Seattle? Yes, at the museum of rock and rollers. Yeah, it's like the music experience. It's during this music museum. My wife and I are relationship is not that. I think we're newly married or a fairly recently married

or maybe even not married yet. And you came running up to me and we're really nice to me. And my wife was like, you know, Claire Daines? And I was like, yes, yes. Yes, I do. I know many people. And that may have sealed the deal for me. That may have gotten me my wife.

Oh, good, okay. Of 21 years. So good for you. I may have gotten me my wife. Oh, good. Okay. Of 21 years. So good for you. Yeah, I remember it too. It was quite exciting seeing you so out of context. Yes. Yeah.

I remember that very well. There's just like these little flash moments you have. And we have so much to talk about because I saw this show that you did recently, Flashman's in trouble. And I was interested in it right away because I adore you. I adore Jesse Eisenberg. It's a good girl. I love Lizzie.

I mean, I just like this is and I had this thought of they're getting some of my favorite people together to do a project and watched it. And I was floored by what you did in that. I don't know. I want to call it a movie because it's not a TV show, it's Syria, what do we call them now? I think we call them limited series.

It's Syria, it's just like a shman's year version of many series, which had a very different connotation not so long ago. Yeah, it's, there were so many things that like after school special. Yes, exactly. No, it was, it's not about, you know,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, so good at playing these people who are going through something torturous and who are just being crushed by like seismic plates of emotion. You're so able to do that. And then when I see you, you're just the lightest, most fun. Do you know what I mean? You're effervescent and fun. And you're great laugher. And I think man, she's a good actress. Yeah, I know it's funny. I don't know. It's so exquisitely well written this show and you know it's this great magic trick that Taffy is able to create both in her novel and in in the series. To say, I mean, I felt so supported by the material and the people that I was making the thing with. And yeah, it's, you know, it's taxing and risky to venture into those dark crevices of

the human experience. But I so believed in the thing and was so excited to have a chance to, you know, explore these themes and these experiences that are so underrepresented in pop culture, that, you know, I felt really invested and able to do it. And there's even some kind of joy in it. I mean, I think because I know it's in service potentially of something worthwhile, you know? I mean, sometimes it's much harder to do a kind of technically easy scene with wonky writing than a really exacting demanding scene

with excellent writing, Like it carries you. Yeah, I'm thinking about who was it who told me, who's Brian Cranston said, he said, as an actor, I can get the material. If the material's like an A, I might be able to get you two an A plus. Yeah, yeah. But he said, if the material's a C,

I can get you to a C plus. Yes If I'm really like on on game or maybe to a B minus, but he said the there you know It really has to be on the page absolutely You know we are talking about this during this writer's strike and it's appropriate to bring up like here here that that is I know there's so many people that think they'll watch a show and there are many people that think the writers are just kind of making it up as they go along. Almost like you could watch Citizen Kane

and yeah, Orson Wells got Joseph Cotton, a couple of people and they just kind of improvs and then they came up with that sled thing in the end. Isn't that crazy? Totally. And it's amazing. And having spent so much of my time with Intellivision, I'm, you know, acutely aware of how vital

the writer is in the process. And the intimacy that you start to have with your writing partners on a series is kind of unmatched. I mean, it doesn't really exist to the same extent in any other medium. So I have just like the deepest of respect for writers and I'm, you know, really aware of how much I owe to them. But I will say this. What you do is, I mean, that's like kind of why I want to go back in time a little bit and try and figure out how you're able to do this. And I know that there's talent, but there's also training, and then there's just, what you do is a magic trick to me, as far as I'm concerned, because I know how to get up in front of people

and be various versions of myself, but I could no more do what you're doing than I could fly. What, you know what I mean? Well, I'm humble all the time. Every time I need to turn the freaking television on, I have to call for my 10 year old son to assist me. So I'm humble all the time. Every time I need to turn the freaking television on I have to call for my 10 year old son to you know assist me so I'm very limited. Well I have that. Here's the problem. I have that too. I just don't know how you can become how you can become other people and people that are in such crisis and it's so believable and whether it's you know homeland or

whether it's, you know, homeland or flashmen or like, you know, any role you're playing, I'm, and you're going through these tortured moments, I would need to be, talk about method. I would need someone to be hitting me with hammers to access that kind of thing. Like I actually did a Hollywood reporter round table thing where different actresses convened sort of awkwardly around a table, but it ends up being kind of lovely. And I guess I was asked about this, like how it's possible for me to move sort of fluidly in and out of complex feeling and then kind of be intact as a human onset, minutes later. And Jennifer Garner actually reminded me that she had worked with the producing director of my so-called life shortly after we had done that series. And I was 13 when

I did the pilot, 14 when I did the show. And she was a Scott Wynne and is the director's name. And she said that he was talking about working with me. And he had a great time. And, you know, it was very impressed and all that, but, you know, that I was, I would get lost in those darker scenes, and it was hard for me to surface. And I'd kind of forgotten that. I was like, oh, yeah, I was just learning, you know, and I guess I'd take for granted the technique that I've just developed over time. Right. That I'm very grateful for. I mean, I can't say that I'm'm fully in command of it constantly. It's a little deceptive.

I mean, sometimes people will say, how can you just be laughing in between takes? And it's a little misleading because, yeah, I have a certain amount of control, but it's always on a bit of a simmer inside. It's just not, yeah's obviously visible to anybody else. Yeah, you're not schizophrenic. I have not diagnosed you as schizophrenic.

But I was thinking, I was going back and reading about your life, which fascinates me because I know at a very early age, you know, you come from a very artistic family, and you come from a family that was very, and feels like open. I mean, you're living in the village where you live. In Soho. In Soho.

And a loft, yeah, my parents were visual artists, and they moved to the Bowery in the late 60s, and then bought a loft building on Crosby Street with another couple for literally like negative dollar, I mean, just a shocking, so- Stuff that makes people angry today. Yes. Yes.

I bought this house for $1,100. For murderous. Yeah. Yeah. But so, yeah, and I mean, the factories were shutting down all around me and being transformed into these artists studios. And you had to actually legally prove that you were an artist to live there at the time.

But anyway, so yes, it was a funny way to live and very permissive in a lot of ways. But nobody around me was involved with the performing arts. And actually it was only until I did that show finding your roots. When I learned that my paternal grandmother who I never knew and actually died when my dad was 10 and her name is Claire, names, named after her. Like she apparently got a master's

in the role of dance and Shakespearean drama and had acted and directed in plays and I was kind of stunned by that because there was no indication of this being anywhere in the gene pool. Yeah, I don't come from, I come from Dad's of research scientist, my mom was a lawyer, and then I go back before that, and my grandfather's a policeman, and my, you know, just,

you're, I look around and I keep thinking, is there, where, if I go back 200 years, is there a drug-wrestling, or a drug-wrestling, there must be a picture somewhere of a guy with like fluffy hair who's making an acid himself me and chased by angry people. But I heard that you early on you were interested in mimicking. Is that true? Yeah, so my first memory of acting was when I was in pre-nursery school and I must have been like three or four.

Slow was my teacher. She was Indian and I loved her and it was nap time and I was a terrible napper. I am still a terrible napper but I'm also totally a sequest like people please the person which I still am. So anyway, so I wanted to convince her that I was sleeping and I was doing my best impression of a sleeping Tiny child and I I'd remember that my mom had twitched in her sleep And so I was doing this I was trying to do this twitch and I thought oh, yeah, yeah, that's good That's really subtle that's super nuanced. She's never gonna know that I am not I'm like I'm free. Yeah, no, I mean you're working out

This is gonna draw it I can draw on this you know, I mean, you're working out those words. I can draw on this. I can draw on this. But that was the feeling that I was really working on the Varys Amilitude, you know. And I do think that that's just an innate impulse that we have. And I don't know. I think I was just always really, really curious about the human experience and wanting to, yeah, make the most sense of it that I could and just reflect on it.

You mentioned your parents and I would think, I'm not even knowing them or knowing about them, I would give them credit for the fact that you have your head on your shoulders, you've made such good decisions. And I think being famous when you're 13 or 14. And I know even at the time, I've read quotes of yours from the time, 14, 15, you're very thoughtful about it.

And you're trying to parse it and figure it out. You're not saying, get me a stretch limo. Right. Let's go three times around the park, and I want to have a teeny. No, it was a very intense transition into the world of entertainment. And we were all so naive.

You know, I got this show, myself. I mean, I knew that I wanted to explore this acting thing. My parents kind of thought, okay, it's another after school activity, like piano or dance or whatever it was. And I just started kind of hustling. Like I found this junior high school for performing arts program.

And I went to Lee Strasbourg and I went to HB Studios. But this was all by my own making. And they didn't interfere, but you know, and they were generally supportive, but I would just rollerblade from audition to audition, you know, I would like get some jobs in that. Eventually materialized into a career to all of our total astonishment.

Yeah. And then we were on a plane. My brother is seven years older, so he was at college at this point and we kind of had the latitude to do that. My dad's business was, he was a contractor, that was naturally ending. And we were available to this experience. Thank goodness, like together as a unit. But we were deposited in L.A. was like the day after that massive earthquake in 94. And so there were actual after shot like the ground was shaking. Just an absurdly apt metaphor for how we were all preparing for you. At the time, there were a lot of seismologists at the time that said, a major talent has landed

in LA and we think that's responsible. But it was a bizarre correlation. And yeah, we were bewildered and just kind of attempting to not look like total idiots that, you know, for a few years. But no, I totally credit them with whatever kind of orientation I ended up maintaining. Yeah. And my mom was always with me on set. And, you know, they were not stage parents in any way. We didn't even know how to like pretend, you know, that that was the deal.

Well, I was around it because I was around stage parents because we were routinely booking kids to play. We never used real people on the show. So whenever I brought my mom out, it was always a different actress. Oh, really? Yeah, we always. Oh. I made a point of making sure that we had this kind of SCTV fake Peewee's playhouse version

of reality. But my son would come on the set. When I didn't even have a son, and he'd have a little red pompadour wig. So we were always doing things like that. So kids were always around. And I so often remember them coming up to me as if they'd been hit with cattle prods. I'd say, Mr. O'Brien, I wish to tell you that you have trends formed late night, and you have made a generational impact.

And I'd look behind them and see the parents staring at them, like, we practice this all night. This bullshit, you go say the code play. And then I would feel terrible. Unaccompanied. You feel terrible about it. They all went on to be very famous. That was Ben Affleck.

Anyway, I'm kidding. But it was just incredible that I think it's the exception that proves the rule. And I think the fact that you were very new, you were thoughtful and your parents were thoughtful. And then you decide, I need to get an education. Yeah, well, my parents were always adamant that, you know, I be tutored on set.

I mean, that was a very real priority. And they didn't have to impose that on me either. Like, that was something I wanted to remain involved with. And then, yeah, and I think I was, I got a little, I did get a little dizzy and overwhelmed at a certain point. And was being given a lot of opportunity and didn't quite know how to channel that, focus it. I didn't have a filter yet that I needed to establish in a safer place, like a campus. I was a little lonely. Initially, I was so relieved to be jettisoned out of the hell of junior high and high school.

Was it a hell? Yeah, I think it was going to get less hellish because I was moving through high school and I think kids just get increasingly less desperate and cruel. So you're getting bullied? Yeah, I had a really hard time in middle school. What do you think the bullying was about or do you remember?

Well, there was a few things. I mean, I went to a few different schools for funny reasons. It's not like I was always living in the same place, but I had a teacher that my mom wasn't that thrilled by or I don't know. There was always a reason to try out a different school. So I was often the new girl and sort of conspicuous and a little targeted for that reason. But I also was just like very sensitive to the injustices that were often on display and couldn't help, but I don't know, take the bait. And the politics made me insane, the social politics. I wasn't strictly bullied,

but I was vulnerable. And I was also, I really liked learning, you know, I was nerdy and kind of didn't get the memo that you're supposed to pretend that you're not. So engaged and curious at a certain point as a girl. Right, right. So my hand remained very like high in the air. You know, ooh, ooh, ooh. Yeah.

And I, yeah, I think I got punched in that. Anyone but Claire, anyone who answered his question. I think I was legit annoying too. I mean, I think that was fair. Yeah. But I don't know. And yeah, there was always like a girl. I changed three, I went to three different junior high schools.

And there was the same prototype, archetype, archetype, archetypical girl who was crazy smart and very troubled and decided that I was somebody that they were going to make very unhappy. And they just kept like materializing. I wish I had known, there's so many things you wish that you knew, you could go back in time and tell the younger you. And I would just, one thing I would tell the younger me is when people really mean to you or bullying you,

it's because they're miserable. I think that would have helped me some way. Yeah, I mean, I think I kind of knew that, but I didn't know that. But I didn't, I didn't know. It wasn't much of a tonic. Yeah. Like, you're still stuck.

And once that dynamic is in play, you're sort of screwed. I didn't know. It wasn't much of a tonic. You're still stuck. Once that dynamic is in play, you're sort of screwed because you're just in a cage. There's nowhere to go. It's funny, my son now is 10ball like he's but and I see all of his kind of vulnerability and but it's funny because I'm a mom from the school texted me about her son being aware of some bullying that was happening in his grade. But Cyrus is just sort of oblivious or just not very moved by it. And her son was. And I was like, oh gosh, I was your son. And I'm so grateful that my son isn't, it's a kind of amazing defense to just not really care.

Kids, the notion that someone would not be nice to them hurts more than anything else on my girl. Oh my God, it's brutal. Although my four-year-old son, Rowan, like he could be, he could go the bully route. Like I'm, I'm terrified. I'm terrified. Yeah, yeah, no, but it's like, I'm terrified

that my older son might be bullied and I'm terrified that my younger son might be bullied and I'm terrified that my younger son might be the bully. And so it's good to have one of each. So most people think that having one of each means a boy and a girl. It's like, don't know, I have a bully and I have someone who is bullied.

We've done it both. But I'm glad they were born in that order because it would be really problematic if it was reversed. And I think we just worry, you know, for what I, you know, it doesn't take much to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm one of six kids. And the last one, Justin was born.

I think my mom might have been 42 or 43. And this is the early 70s. And it is not as common. Yeah, yeah. I still keep saying to Justin, I'm glad, you know, I'm glad he's here. I'm really on my rise here. And now I can't imagine him not as common. Yeah, yeah. I still keep saying to Justin, I'm glad he's here. Yeah, I'm really glad he's here. And now I can't imagine him not being here. But he showed up so late and-

What's the age difference between you guys? Oh my God. I am, let's see, my mother had a child a year. Oh my God. Because this was the 60s and where Irish Catholic. So I think- I do. Neal's born in 61, Luke's born in 62 think, deals born in 61, looks born in 62,

I'm born in 63, Kate's born in 64. What? Slight gap, then James born in 67, and then, you know, then there's a long gap, and then I think Justin shows up in the early 70s. And so there's a 10 year gap between Justin and I, and I remembered someone saying, what a wonderful, later is about five ten years ago

Someone said to me in front of my father Isn't it wonderful that your youngest was born your your youngest brother was born so much later because all of you could help Nurture and raise him and I said what are you talking about? It's like they threw a brand new tire into the eight cage We just tore him apart. And we really did. We really just did start throwing him around. It toughened him up.

Yeah. But no, there was not a lot of careful nurturing with this poor guy. My mom is one of five. And I just, just again, the deepest, deepest admiration and respect for those women. I mean, I can't imagine. My mother was once told by some Soviet women before the wall fell, but she was at some

event and there were some women from the Soviet Union there and they said, in the Soviet Union, you would be awarded a medal for providing this many children. Like seriously, a serious medal. Oh my gosh. There's like an order of, you know, whatever, Malanchanko that you get if you've had because you've delivered that many children from mother Russia. Yeah, and I thought You know, I should probably go it Mother's Day. I should get my mother. They should bring that Yeah, I hope you got something good on Mother's Day. I did Because you know what Father's Day is a total crock. We get nothing. No one believes in it.

No, no, no. And you know what, I don't think it's dismissed. It's dismissed and I think with good reason. Because I look at, I look at everything my wife does. And I think that she deserves a medal. She deserves all these great things. She deserves like those epilets that they had in the British Navy.

She does an assash and she deserves a sword. All these great things for doing so much. And then yeah, I think I deserve nothing. I have to say, my husband is pretty spectacular. I mean, he really, he's the cook. He makes the doctor's appointments. He, yeah, no, he takes on a kind of disproportionate amount of the parental duties.

So I am big shout out to Hugh Dansey, who's pretty wonderful. I'll have that taken out. Okay. I don't know why would I do that? What a spiteful person I am. You're talking about a show that centers around divorce? No. Yeah, exactly.

Well, with that in mind, when I was starting to watch fly stream, it's interesting because I had a friend, a really good friend who's also a massive fan of yours, and at first, when you first start watching this show, and again, I don't want to give anything too much away, but it's a couple that's going through a painful period, and then you as the wife, you sort of disappear from the scene and people are...

Yeah, and she's really unsympathetic initially. Very unsympathetic. To put it mildly. And you as the wife, you sort of disappear from the scene and people are... Yeah, and she's really unsympathetic initially, to put it mildly. Very unsympathetic. And you don't realize that you're seeing the marriage strictly through a lens. And the lens you're seeing it through, which is so interesting, is Jesse Eisenberg plays your husband. And of course, Jesse is so good at looking at being put upon. And I mean, he looks put upon in real life. And a lovely guy. He is one of the sweetest guys. But he is such a good way of looking like he's just got the world on his shoulder.

That's a really good point, you know, because it's true, he can flip so easily from, you know, a kind of puppy to, you know, this kind of wounded, you know, on his back person to a real villain. Well, I mean, you look at the social network and And then you see that he's obviously a terrific actor who's able to access all of that. But in this, and I thought this show has exposed, either exposed my sexism or tricked me into being maybe more sexist than I already am, but I'm really looking at it and I'm thinking,

I so sympathize with this guy, this poor guy, and he's trying to take care of these kids and where is she? And not being at all sympathetic to your character. And then there's this thing, and again, I don't wanna give anything away, but there's this scene that where your character, Rachel, goes to this yoga retreat and these emotions are being drawn out of you

in this scene and there's this kind of whale in breakdown that you have that came through the TV set and slapped me around in a way that is, this is a compliment. I don't like being, I'm not into, I'm not into that. By the way, Claire, not into that. I don't want to stick at that rumor that I like being slapped about a whipping occasionally. But no, I felt like you had reached to the TV and it was so. And then, of course, I start talking to my friends who are also watching the show and we're all talking about that scene. And I think that scene is the most striking moment I had in television in memory. It just was like, oh my god, it completely turned me around on your character in a moment. But also,

I walked away from that thinking. I do not understand. I know that there are great actors in the world. I do not know how Claire Danes was able to do that. I do not know how you were able to do that scene. Well, I mean, again, it was really written, you know, and I could, I recognized it. I find it unimaginable that you would go to set and they would put a camera on you and they would say action and that you'd be able to. I find it unimaginable that you would go to set and they would put a camera on you and

they would say action and that you'd be able to. I'm basically asking. Well, so in advance I do this kind of this mental work and then I have to totally let that go and then just be in a visceral space. So I have to be very clear that and you know, and it was funny when I went to college and didn't act for about three years, I was caught in a wrong and a wrong gear. Like I forgot that it was largely an intuitive process also because I had just been writing essays for a long time. So I had to kind of return to the more in connection to the work, which is the more important one. But so both are at play and really when the camera's rolling, you have to just be in a

non-thinking space, in a mode of space. But I see myself not like taking, maybe it sounds like I'm not taking credit for my contributions, but I can't do that so freely if I don't feel held by the people that I'm working with. And John and Val who were the directors on the episodes that I was doing the heavy lifting and you know they were they were just so connected and present and kind. And they didn't make me do things a million times. Like they understood that some scenes were a little scarier and trickier than others. And so they were very careful and how they set it up. And a lot of them, we only needed to do one take.

And I was gonna say, if someone, if a director after the take that you did said, if anyone said, okay, that was great. Let's do four more. Yeah, and I've also worked with wonderful directors who do work that way. And I don't only begrudge them that, like sometimes there is value and seeing what happens.

And I, but I was glad for their sense of economy. You've got really invoked the improvising, especially in comedies, and a lot of improvising and people being encouraged to know. And I think I was on a set once and the director was literally saying things like, all right, try another one where you are the murderer. Now try one where you're the murder victim.

Like you're changing massive thing. Do you know what I mean? Right. But what I do understand what you're saying, that something that resonates with me, is I always try to look for, is there any common ground here I can have with Claire, and there might be a psychological reason for this,

or it just might be my lack of ability. I don't know what it is, but it was, people were telling me in my early 20s, you've got something, you should be in front of people, and I was feeling that, but I couldn't see what it was, and I was thinking, you know, it's not stand up. I think it's improv, and then one person said, it might help your, I started doing improv a lot,

and someone said, you should take a serious acting class. So I took one downtown, and I don't remember which one it was, but it was like a Stella Adler, serious class. And I went in and signed up and paid. I think it was about 23, 24. And they asked me at one point to do a scene where I get up with another woman. And I tell her how much I love her and how much she means to me

and how heartbroken I am. And I said, I can do this if it is in the purpose of being funny. Like, if there's a joke to it, I can actually, that would be the only way that I could act. I think in any kind of, it was if it ends, if it's going in the purpose of a joke, or if it ends in a- That's so interesting. I know, and now you're my therapist, but I'm serious, I do, I have done sketches

where I'm looking at myself saying, I think I'm kinda acting here, but it's because I know that it's in the service of a joke, and to me that's my wooden barrel. I can go over my agro me, that's my, that's my wouldn't barrel. I can go over my agro falls, but I need to be in my wouldn't barrel of it's comedy. Whereas what you're doing, there's, you're going over the falls, there is no barrel. It's so naked. And I find that terrifying.

I mean, all of it, but I just find it, it's terrifying. Yeah, well, I would find comedy terrifying. You know, that bit just be, comedy terrifying, you know, but I think I, I, I, I, you're very funny. You are really funny. Thank you. You're a very, like, no, you are. You are very, I mean, I've always could tell that you're a very funny light silly person at a party.

And that's something a lot of people don't know about you. Yeah, I, I guess, but I, I doubt that that's something a lot of people don't know about you. Yeah, I guess, but I doubt that that's true. I mean, I think you've decided that along the way and I don't believe it. I'm just saying. I also think you're a very good fighter. Kick-buck, I've decided a bunch of things about you. You're also an undersea explorer, Claire Daines.

You didn't know that about yourself, did you? No, you haven't. But you are, it is funny because you've carved out so many roles and iconic roles where, you know, as I said, whether it's in Homeland or even starting out with my so-called life where it's you're dealing with complicated stuff. And then in person, you have this lightness that's so much fun, which I'm sure you brought to, you know, you bring to other things too, but you're so, it's amazing.

You have a wide bandwidth, I think. Yeah, I hope so. Yeah, no, I would, I'm always eager to do something a little less intense. But I do have kind of a good time with the intensity and my career and also, I don't know, people keep throwing it my way. But I wouldn't change anything.

If I talked you into something, you know, no, I've I've said it. Sit calm. Well, I've said I want to do a comedy for a long time, but yeah, no, it's, I'm not, it doesn't seem to land. I've heard that you like a good party. You like to throw a costume party? I, you know, I had this... Which terrifies me, by the way, also. Oh. I do not like wearing a costume.

I had the best bachelor at pad for, for a while. I had a loft on, was, because I went to LA for about four years and always knew I wanted to come back to New York. My parents stayed in LA, but I, I came back and it didn't occur to me that I could live anywhere other than where I had lived as a kid. So I was just kind of recreating that and bought this loft on Worcester Street. And it was kind, it was just this open space and it was a great place to throw casting parties at a swing.

My parents had a swing. They had a swing, they had a trampoline, throw costing parties at a swing. Oh, my parents had a swing. They had a swing that a trampoline. They had a trapeze. I mean, my mom also ran a toddler school, but this was even before she had the other thing. They just like, you're not circus people. They're not circus people. Recreational. Yeah.

They're very playful people, I guess. So I was, you know, kind of appropriating that. And it was effective. Now, of course, became, you know, Hugh and I got married and we were gonna have kids. So we now live in a very sensible family home with, it's the total inverse. Like it's this kind of long and narrow townhouse

with many stairs and stuff, but there isn't this, like, it's not a dance party venue. Everything changes when you have to baby proof. Yes. My wife and I have to baby proof. Yes. My wife and I have this little house in the country that I got in another lifetime years ago that I've hung on to. And I remember when our first, when our daughter was born, they have screwing in the brackets for the baby gates.

And one an iconic moment, what that was for me in my life. And then I remembered a couple of years ago, noticing they were still there and that both our kids are kind of grown and unscrewing them. And I got weepy. Oh. Because you're like, this area is over.

I'm headed to my grave. I'm gonna got very, very dark. The one consolation is that when I get very old I know my wife's gonna have to put in gates for me To keep me in place. Yes, they they will come back But yeah, no, I had a lot of great parties and I miss them Easter sometimes falls on my birthday and my 30th birthday happened to be one of those years and

one of those years. And he went as a severed ear. There's some, he went to like boarding school and I guess was just kind of inhaled these biblical stories. You know, it was just like swimming in the water. So he was a severed, not a man with a severed ear. He was a severed ear. It was very impressive. That's when you knew you were in love. Kind of. Yes. And he convinced me that I should go as the 30 coins of silver that Judas was paid to betray Jesus. Oh my God.

God. But it was really fun. It was my brother went as the black jelly bean that nobody wants. I don't know. It was great. There were a lot of playboy bunnies. You could be. It was secular and religious. Yes. But people are, you know, once you, the great thing about a costume party in New York too is that they're stuck there because people

party hop in New York, especially in their 20s. And once they're there, you know, they're there. Once you're a severed ear, you're not going anywhere. So the numbers build and it starts to come to a boil. And people, you know, they're not, they're a little, they're a little unhinged. You know, they do things. They're not themselves exactly. Well, I will tell you this just as an element of this from being a sketch player. Again, not an actor, but when I am, when I do put on a costume for work, whenever I've, whatever that is, I want to be that. And it's such a funny power.

It has a childish thing, but I was in a sketch once and we were shooting outside and I'm dressed as a policeman. And then I wandered away as the policeman. And I was telling people to move it along. And then suddenly I'll have like a 19th century Irish accent. Like, what's along now? What was this asshole doing? I had a knife. I had a knife. in century Irish accent. Like, what was this asshole doing?

I had a knife did. Anyway, for duckling. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. It's just like, well, it's the power of, you know, I did do something recently. I think we're in Norway and they dress me up in a ridiculous fisherman's costume. And I asked for a hook because, and I have a pipe. And the minute you give me a pipe it's bits left and

light and but it's it's just childish it's child's work but it's really fun. It's the best it's what I do professionally. Yes it's what we do. It is a whole other level with you as is clear. I can't say it enough again I'm just gonna say it as your old uncle who had you on the show years and years and years ago You've always been very funny and classy and polite and then crazy talented. So just very You know, it's not earned, but I'm proud of you I knew her when she was a child and Yeah. And people say, sit down, old man, but it is, it's a thrill to see you and. Oh, that, well, I'm sweating, but thank you.

It's very hard to receive that level of appreciation, but I'm grateful for it. So thank you. Okay. Well, if I can make you sweat or in any way uncomfortable. A little pinned here. Claire, such a joy to have you here and see you. Thank you. It was really nice to see you too. Very cool. Thank you. Thank you. Let's do a little review of the reviewers. This is where I go to Apple podcasts and I pull a review and we talk about it and see how good people are doing it reviewing our show.

Yeah, okay. Yeah. Well, this is where we get to judge their judgment of us. Essentially, although this one is a bit more of a, what would I call it? I got an axe to grind. Oh, good. Yeah. All right.

This is from Shmoopy. It's five star review. And this is just representative of many comments we've gotten. All right. A while back, we did an episode, a Conan O'Brien needs a fan episode where I mentioned Inca-Dinca bottle of ink. And you all looked at me like I was crazy. Yeah. Well, people are coming out of the woodwork to defend me.

Oh, good. That's nice. It's nice to know. And you know what, if anyone should defend you, it's schmoopy. It's not often you hear schmoopy to the rescue. Well, also Terry Bagels and Giffith. Well, and no man is an island. Freaky Fritz and Sean the Bamo 7.

Yep, yep, you stand in. Okay, so here's one of those. Those are your apostles. Yes. You're quite the religious leader. Matt is right. We did this every time we played hide and seek or ghost in the graveyard to see who was it. We actually had one more verse to it as well.

Ink a dink, a bottle of ink, the quark fill out and you stink. Not because you're dirty, not because you're clean, just because you kissed a girl behind a magazine. Love your podcast, love the children's and Conan is okay too. Behind a magazine. I don't want this person as a fan. That was not something I remember. Who says time for our little sexual indiscretion? Meet me behind a magazine. What does that even mean? I don't know. That was not in the version I had as a kid. What's ghosts in the graveyard? I don't know that one either. Is that a thing?

I must be. I've never heard of Inca Dinka, but I think some of these things are regional. Yeah. I remember that when we would play like a game of, you know, touch football on the street when I was growing up, this is like the early 1970s. And again, I lived in Brooklyn,

I lived in Brooklyn, Massachusetts, which is right up against Boston. So it's the closest town to Boston, really, where we would play a pick up game. And if there was any kind of dispute, like that was a foul, you, you fouled him or no fair, you, you interfered, whatever, any kind of, or no, you were out, you were out of bounds because you stepped over towards the size of lawn rather than staying on Canard Road. Whenever people said stuff like that,

if you wanted to pass it aggressively, tell the other side, okay, you can have it, you'd say, let them have it. Let the babies have their orange juice. I remember, we all said that. I remember people, that was something people said just in our area. And when people took the fence to that, like they understood it was. Oh, they understood, like, no, he really was out. No, it's fine.

Okay. Okay. Yeah, I was out, let the babies have their arms, juice. And I remember saying that with great conviction. Wow. And it's such a, and then of course, living in different parts of the country. You tried to say it. Nobody says that.

Oh, okay. I thought you tried saying it to someone and they were like, oh, no, it is. I'm sure I've said that. I'm sure I have tried that in LA throughout my career, whether I was in New York or LA and someone said, no, that, you know, no, no, that joke doesn't belong in the sketch. It shouldn't be there. Okay, okay. Let the baby have his orange juice.

And I'm sure people just said, oh, what? Wait. First of all, orange juice is not something you give to a baby. It's way too high in sugar, way too acidic. Yeah. So the more I've learned about babies, the more I've realized it doesn't even make sense.

The baby doesn't want the orange juice. Did you have Apple Peaches pumpkin pie who ever not ready, holler eye? No, I grew up in the 20th century Nobody makes me feel more like a child of immigrants than the two of you Bubble gum bubble gum. What's that one word? I'll go bubble gum bubble gum in a dish One for the money to for the show three to get ready. What's up one at word? Bubble gum, bubble gum in a dish. Oh, people do you wish. One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready. What's up, my bro?

What? I don't think it went what's up, my bro. I might have attacked you, my bro. I don't think you should ever say what's up, my bro. Or the classic, right? Any mini, my, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Any mini, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my head back to like, I know that. That goes back to the civil war, you know, but the ones that they're saying, do you know them?

No. You're a child of immigrants like I am. And this is, which ones do you know? And what? Superman, Superman fly away. I know Superman. Well, let's hear it.

You're a sub-creditive. That was it. That's it. What? You're never gonna make it in this country of Wardo. If that's all you've got. Superman, Superman fly away. And what else have you got? gonna make it in this country or do if that's all you've got Superman Superman fly away and what else you've got? That's it Get out of my country you say you say did you say no cuts no butts no coconuts when people would

When cut in line in front of you But I don't know that's what I know that's there you go I'm a man. You're the things that should be on the citizenship test when you enter the country. No, it should not. Oh, you're right. It shouldn't be. No, no, it shouldn't be. No, we're doing a list of what shouldn't be on the citizenship. Yes. I know. Yeah. Like let the baby have their orange juice. I think people can go in this world without just a post and thing. I don't know. That's a weird one. It's really weird. Let the babies.

And I remember it saying it with great, you know, you know, sort of intensity. Yeah. Let the babies have their own juice. We shall move on. What a stupid thing to say. God, I was stupid. Yeah. I mean, if we've, if we've arrived at any conclusion here, it's that I'm the idiot and that you with your inked dinka bottle of ink. Yeah. There's a guy I think he stinks. The cork fill out. He buys a coat. I hope it's mink. No. Now you're mocking. What's up, bro? What's up, bro? Hey, go ahead. Some hours you should see a drink. Go have some orange juice. Well, yeah, baby. Yeah. Ifsy dipsy dadly do. Yeah. Yeah. I was young, but then I grew. My favorite food was beef house you. There's always beef house you with you. I'm in Britain. I've got

to use the Lou. That's the one I'm going to use. You know, that's what I'm using. I want to see a fart. Can you remember it? Yeah. Do you remember what I said? It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word.

It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word.

It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. Yeah. I was a child, but then I grew. Okay. My favorite food is beef.

I was you. That's where I think where you lose everybody. I don't think so. Okay. You see, you know what? I was on a, I had to play the stage at Bonneroo, the main stage. You were there for this. I was for you when you were on tour.

When I was on tour and it was a sea. It was just that that reverse shot you see at like Woodstock where all you see is people and then the distance you see some towers with lights. Yeah. And I had to go out there and I remembered there's no subtlety. This is a crowd that can hear plugged in rock and roll through giant stacks. You can't go out there in front of that crowd. So I remembered what they liked was when I'd come out and I'd go like, BOTTEROOSH! How do you do it? And it'd go, RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR You! You! You! You! You! You! You! You! You!

You! You! You! You! You! You! You! You!

Hundreds of thousands of people suddenly got very quiet. I just imagine parting down the middle and leaving. I remember when you did that, you came back and you were like, all I have to do is ask questions. Yeah. Yeah. Are you ready? Are you ready? It was a lot of that. I realized that's what they like. Yeah, I you ready? Are you ready? Yeah. It was a lot of that. I realized that's what they like.

Yeah, I just questions. You know what? When you start rhyming beef house you, it's time to, it's time to bring pink out there. You know, there's jumping pink. Remember not. Yeah, I do. I was like, it's not time to bring pink out. I think it's time for you to go into a home.

Yeah, it's time for me to go. Yeah. All right. God bless Godspeed get some beef out ink a dinka bottle I ink the cord to that. No, no, no, no, be vazio Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Conan O'Brien sonum of Sessian and Matt Gory Produced by me Matt Gory Executive produced by Adam Sachs Nick Liaoiao, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf. Themes song by The White Stripes, incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples, engineering by Eduardo Perez, additional production support by Mars Melnick, talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Khan. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the team Coco Hotline at 3-2-3-451-2821 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. And if you haven't already, please subscribe

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