Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Cocoland

Episode Date: December 11, 2025

Conan chats with theme park designer Margaret about the Haw Par Villa in Singapore and what kind of themed ride would best represent Conan, Sona, and Matt. Wanna get a chance to talk to Conan? Submit here: teamcoco.com/apply Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/conan. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit team cocoa.com slash call Conan. Okay, let's get started. Hi, Margaret. Welcome to Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Hi, Margaret. Wow, hi.

I can't believe it. The day is finally here. Yes, I've been thinking about this too. The day is finally here. What day? What are you talking about? Oh, the day when we talk. The day, yes.

The day that I get to. meet all of you. Hello, Conan, Matt, Sona. Hi. Good to see you. How are you? I'm so excited. Here's what I know about you. Your name is Margaret. And other than that, I don't know much. Tell us your story, Margaret. Who are you? What's your deal? What's happening? Oh, gosh. Well, I, I've been a fan of yours for a long time. I've watched all the, my gateway drug to Conan was watching your remotes. So back in the day when you're were in New York and, um, and I, you know, for me, I'm not so much interested in the celebrities so much as when you interact with your staff. I think that's the most hilarious. Um, I think that

you bring out the funny in everyone. Oh, that's so nice for to say. And that's, I think that's been, those are some of my favorite moments too. Celebrities just get in the way. Let's face it. They do. They do. I'm like, come on. I want to go back to Matt and Sona and, you know, Dr. Arroyo and all, everyone else, you know, Jordan Slansky and. Eduardo. That's where we part companies with Jordan Slansky. But I see kind of what you're saying. And what do you do? What do you do for a living? Well, I'm a designer of theme parks and museums and experiences. So I help to tell the stories in built places and built environments. And one of the big projects that I worked on was the Star Wars themed land, which opened years ago. And yes, I know. You know what, Matt Corley's eyes just turned into those... Margaret, stop flirting with me. There are cherries spinning by.

It's like a slot machine. Bing bong, bing bong, bing bong, bing bong. And now coins are coming out his mouth. You just hit his mental jackpot. What was that? I was when Bugs Bunny drinks alcohol, he goes, you know, you know. I know it.

No, I knew exactly what he was talking about. You're just uneducated. And young. Yeah. So Margaret, this is amazing. You design theme parks. That sounds like a dream job that would be impossible to have. But you have it.

Oh, no, please. I mean, it is a dream job. And I, you know, when I first went into a Disney theme park was when I was seven years old, I went to the Tokyo Disneyland. So I don't speak Japanese, but when I went through it, it just blew my mind. I was like, who? Who does this? Like, who actually creates these stories that I couldn't walk into and these worlds that I go into, right? So going into something like haunted mansion for the first time and pirates and, like, you know, it's a small world.

Like, all of these things, it just blew my little mind up. And so it was kind of my dream, my life journey, you know, to work in theme parks and build other experiences too. Like museums, I worked in Airbnb. I know you did an Airbnb experience, all of these things, right? So this is really, it truly is a dream job. I have to, Margaret, and this is a moral must. This is a necessity. I must give the floor over to Mr. Matt Goreley.

Because Matt spent years, several years, working at Disney theme park. Is that right? Yeah, I worked there. Well, come, this is a proud part of your life. I'm not so ashamed. I'm not ashamed. It's just, I just lost a little bit of myself there. That's not true.

What are you talking about? Was it when you were a trash can? Okay. Well, let him tell the story. I did plenty of other embarrassing things there. But you were the voice. Were you in that? There's a talking trash can at Disneyland.

And you were a talking trash can. Does that mean you're in the receptacle or are you? I honestly don't know. I'm asking you real questions. The way it works is it looks like a typical metal trash can with the push flap, you know? but there's only half a trash can in it and below the lower half is a fully automated robot.

So I'm hidden in the crowd just wearing street clothes and I have a bag over my shoulder. I just look like a creep, you know. And my hands in the bag and I can remote control the trash can and I have a secret microphone in my hand. Hands in the bag.

I know. One hand's up at my mouth and one hand's in the bag. So if I see this guy, if I see this guy at a bus stop, he's either a pervert or he's operating a Disney trash can. Yeah.

Sir, you're either touching yourself or delighting millions with your banter. I just don't know which, or both. So did your trash can have a personality? Yeah, his name was Push, the Talking Trashcan. But there was a certain amount of mandated personality, but I wouldn't usually adhere to that. You're a rebel. I was, at this case. I would bump the other trash cans and say like, Sheila, why did you divorce me and things like that?

This was when the management. wasn't around. Did they, do you forget a talking to because you were going off script? And I would try to be very savvy about when the managers were there. Or I would chase the kids for their churros. Give me your churro, give me your churro and that kind of thing.

Right. It's just because you get bored of the same old stick. What I would do is have the trash can run around and scream, kill me, kill me, I cannot die. I cannot die. I got close to that. Yeah, that's what I would do. And the kids would kick it all the time.

It was like kind of demoralizing too. Could you talk back to the kids? Yes, I would say, why are you, parents, why are you letting your children kick me? Why are you doing this? Some of them would stop it and some would just laugh. Right. Did you only play a trash can or did you play on you? I did so many different things there.

If you're a trash can saying, why are you not treating me with respect? Margaret designed Star Wars and you're talking about playing a trash kid. Now, okay, but listen. Sorry, I don't mean. It's like we're equating the two. Star Wars is another one of, Star Wars is another one of your love. Sure, yeah. And so, Margaret, I'm curious.

First of all, you've been to this Star Wars experience. Many times, yeah, yeah. Okay. It's amazing. Yeah. And you've been to, too, as well. Okay. And I didn't get around to it.

I go to only presidential museums. We have to change that, Conan. I know you hate theme parks, and I know you have a thing against Disney, and I know that you're not a Star Wars fan. Do you say I have a thing against Disney? What's your beef? No, I just love, there's a talking trash.

at the Harry Truman Museum in Missouri. And I love going there and having conversations. He's kind of salty. I know that guy. And he's like, I'm from the show me state, you know. And I had to fire MacArthur. And I'm like, take it easy, trash can. So I just have my other interests.

But no, I'm not spreading this rumor that I'm anti-Disney. I embrace all corporations. I think you need to go to more theme parks because it really, you know, you're like me. you're a grown-up child, right? So going to theme parks releases that all those inhibitions so you can be whoever you want to be. You understand. I act that way at the gap.

Yeah. I go, my inhibitions are released. You know, I went to the eye doctor with Sona and I behaved like a total fool and put on a one-man show for everybody. Yeah. So I don't need a lot of help getting me into that space. But I do love amusement parks. You do.

I do. I think that amusement parks are awesome. And I think it would be really fun if all three of us went and maybe we went for free because Margaret did, can you get us in for free? And can I bring my edibles? Oh, you know, oh my gosh, you're bringing in all the things that I want to talk about. Do it. How many people go to theme parks high, do you think? What's the percentage?

How many people don't go to theme parks? A lot. Exactly. Okay. So that's the thing, because Sona told me that she used to get loaded up on gummies and then go to Disneyland for the day or six flags or. Um, what is it, what else you went to? Universal. Universal.

And, um, yeah. I don't even know why there needed to be a theme park there because I think you could have wandered around in the state you were in, you could have wandered around a split level garage and had just as much of a visual experience. All right. You know what? I'm trying to get us a free trip to Disneyland and you're just harsh to my buzz, bro. Yeah.

Sorry to squash your mellow. I think, uh, in addition to bringing back clueless gamer, you need to have a theme park goer, a clueless theme park goer, and just have all three of you go to different theme parks and all over the world, all over the world go to all these different theme parks and just let you three loose and do all the things. I think that's going to be super entertaining for us to watch. Would Disney have an issue if we just guerrilla did a podcast? We wouldn't carry anything like obtrusive, just little lapel mics or something. Oh, they're not, they don't, they don't have a legal team in Disney. That's what I've heard. They're just very

free and easy. That's what I'm saying, though. It's better to ask forgiveness than permission, I would assume, for something like that, right? Because they'd never let us do it. The answer is no. No. Yeah. Margaret would know. I feel like she would know. You're here. I think it would be a no. I think the moment you walk in with, especially with Conan, they're going to jump on that immediately. Yeah. I'm like a guy who's passed a bad check in every restaurant in town. If we have hidden mics, they wouldn't know. You know what I mean? Yeah, but now you're talking about it, and I think this is going to go out. But there's nothing illegal with recording your voice in the podcast.

They shot a whole movie there, remember? Well, there's a lot of YouTubers who do it, right? They'll go into any theme park and talk about it, and they're carrying all their, you know, little pros. Yeah. Yeah. We had that, my wife and I did a Disney podcast about working at theme parks, and we did it, you know, without asking. Yeah, but you can go under the radar pretty easily, I think. Yeah, I know that. I can't because I'm the Sir Lawrence Olivier as.

comedy. Oh, God. I don't even know how that works. I said it. And it doesn't make any sense. I have a question. What's your favorite theme park? Oh, well, I mean, I do have to say Disneyland, but I grew up in Singapore.

And when I was a little girl, I went to this very unusual amusement. park called Haupar Villa and it's not a place that people would know about but it's all about you know Chinese myths and like legends and all this and they would carve these like full-sized sculptures and dioramas of what they they would do to you if you end up going to hell wow yeah this sounds this sounds like I have to see this don't go high and don't get high and go there and pulling out your guts it's like the anti-smobile small world. Yeah, it is.

It is. It's the inverse of it's a small world. It's not optimistic. It's not cheerful. Yeah. It's a cautionary tale. Yeah. It's a cautionary tale of what could happen to you if you lie and cheat murder. It's a world of loathing, a world of fear.

It's a world of constant pain in your rear. What? Oh, my God. Well, you get, the Disney lawyers on the phone? Yeah. Oh, okay. They don't have our number. We keep moving.

I think they have. You know, I feel like I'm starting to hear about celebrities making theme parks. Nate Bergotsi was on the podcast not long ago, and he's going to make a theme park that he wants to be very family-friendly and fun. And I think it's going to be in Tennessee outside Nashville. And it sounded like a great idea. He's taking it very seriously. And he was telling us he's meeting with some people at Disney to get advice. And so this is becoming a thing.

Is celebrities having Dollywood? Yeah, that's been around for a while. Do you see this as a new trend? It's not necessarily a trend. I mean, it's been around for a while. I mean, if Walt Disney, you know, did it, right? Like, why not anyone else?

I think I know where this is going. Conan Land. So, exactly. Yeah. So Conan Land is a thing, Cocoa Land, however you want to... Well, it sounds like they're already doing it in Singapore. You get on a... boat, you go through every stage

of hell, and then you come out and you have a prominent eye vane. For you, it's just weird things like sex talk, that's hell for you. Yeah, exactly. Not, you know, getting a bee on a test in high school. Having a conversation with someone where you lock

eyes. Oh, being complimented. Yeah, I was just going to say. Being complimented. If you go through one part where someone says, I enjoy your work, ah! Well, I think that all of you should individually have a ride. And I have ideas, but I want to hear her.

Let's hear it. Okay. Start with Matt. So I think, well, who should I start with first? Because I can go, I'll start with Conan. Okay. So I think Conan's ride is a ginger-colored high-speed roller coaster that goes up and down, twists and turns, completely unexpected.

And it never ends. And it never ends. And there has to be the string dance involved in it somehow. So it shakes erratically at times. Yes. It's a very, is it an unsafe ride? It could be. Oh, I see what you're saying, like the tether clips and then you fall like Tower of Terror.

And you fall. There's a free fall. Right. And it could be great. And so I think that that would be a really good one for you. As long as when you get off, your skin is dry. And you're, and you're, you're, you're, you're. questioning some of your decisions in life.

That's the only thing I want people to. I don't want them to have that rush of endorphins when they get off. I want them to just sort of feel queasy, dry skin, again, prominent eye vein, and just worried, worried about past choices. Let's move on to Sona. Sona. What's her ride going to be? Okay. So Sona, I'm envisioning like a lazy river Bopra.

You had me at Lazy. So you're going to. Every visitor who steps in, they get a gummy. Yes. They go on the ride. They get a gummy, and then you're going to have plush seating on this, like, gondola type of ride, and you're going through all of the scenes, all of your biggest dreams. So everything from, like, scenes of, like, Magic Mike, you know, just going there and just, like, music,

beautiful music, and all of your favorite shows, all your reality shows coming to life. around you, right? Oh, and there's a bucket of like humus and chips. No, but you love humus. I do. You had it yesterday. Why do you keep bringing it up? Because I just see, I picture.

Margaret's talking about magic mind. No, but on the, and if you're loaded up on gummies, you're sitting there, there's a bucket of humus. And you have, doesn't it sound good? Yeah, it does sound good. And a really good bread and you're just, it's hush. It's hush. I know. I love my ride.

Keep going. There's more? Well, maybe, and it could be that, you know, you exit through a gift shop and there, you could have the hummus and all of that stuff too. And then come back and come back on the ride, you know. So it's, it's however you want it to be, right? And that's kind of like your way. I feel like it's like, you know what?

I'm just going to do this right now. I'm not going to do that right now, right? And maybe every once in a while we'll hear Conan and the speaker being like, Sona, Sona, I need this, right? you know, whatever, but then you ignore it. You just ignore it. Go with the flow. I like that.

There's a sort of robotic cone, and it pops out every now and then it starts to say, I need your assistance with, and then you can just push it aside. And it goes to the click. And melts away. Right?

I love that. You have like a little wand, and you can just do a flick of your wand and I disappear. Okay, Gorley. You're getting it. You're getting it. This is awesome.

All right. So, Gorley, I'm thinking it has to be a dark ride. And when we say dark ride, it's a fully enclosed indoor ride. And I'm thinking like an Omni Mover, like Haunted Mansion. So an Omni Mover is constantly flowing, very smooth. And instead of that, the Doom Buggy, it'll be like a really plush leather, a coastered armchair. I love this. And when you get in, you have a whiskey or a cocktail.

Oh, my God. And as you go in, it's kind of mid-century retro. You'll hear vinyl records, the scratchy sound. You'll hear your voice, Corley, and the speakers. And you're taking everyone on this very calm and smooth journey through a thrilling ride of what your imagination and your dreams are, too. So maybe it's going through a flea market. You've incepted into her your version of me. Yes, I have.

That is not, yeah. Everyone's wearing tweed. You get a tweed jacket as you just, I love it. I love it. You're just, you're coasting along, and you're in like an Eames chair, like a mid-century chair. That's right. And all the architecture of the ride is very craftsman, right? It's just Pasadena craftsman.

Exactly. It's, it's nice. This is a great ride. And I love the cocktail idea. And just every, every rider gets a cat on their lap. Oh, yes, yes. And I love the idea. I love this.

My only request, Margaret, is that all three rides collide at the end. Oh, my God. So the Conan ride smashes into the gorley, smashes into the sona. They all smash into the same place, and there's some injuries every time. And that's the podcast. Yeah, exactly. But we wanted to have a happy ending. And once you crash and collide, you step out, and then you have a nice smores, chill chums moment.

Oh, God, she's very good. Margaret, you're very good. It's a picnic. I love it. You're all sitting down and there's a bonfire and you're all roasting marshmallows and doing and just meeting all your guests too, right? And there you can really be a true friend and fans. Greenlit, I say, Margaret, first of all, delightful talking to you.

I love this idea. I will take care of the money. I will get us the money. I can raise this money. And by that I mean I will never make one phone call. I won't do anything. But this is a very cool, it's a cool idea. I like it.

And you're a very impressive person and very cool to have you as a fan. I just love that you get to do this for a living and you're clearly amazing at it. And you know what? I think Sona's right. I think you should use your pull to get the three of us, you know, some, I don't know, some free tickets to these. I have one last question for you, Margaret. Are you a blue milk or a green milk girl? Oh, you know what?

I do have to say more green milk. Me too. More, oh, good. Yeah, it tastes like fruity pebbles, Conan. You'd like that. I am proud that I don't know what you're talking about. Well, and if we do go to Disney, I meant I want Margaret to come with us. Yes, you'd come with us, Margaret.

I would not just get his tickets, but to come with us. No, no, that's implied. You would come with us, and maybe if you came with us, we wouldn't need tickets because you'd be the person to know. Yeah. I would love that. I would love to bring you guys. Yes. And I want one of the Hall of Presidents' presidents to join us.

Maybe Reagan. Whale. Whale. Weal. Beep, beep, beep, we'll. It would come with us. Beep, beep, beep. And it's just Reagan saying beep, beep, boop, boop.

Whale, we'll, beep, beep, boop. Well, it's time to start dropping bombs on Russia. Beep, beep, bo, bo. All right, Margaret, delightful talking to you, really. Thank you so much. Yes, thank you so much. Can I show you one other thing, Bill?

Go ahead. I have a picture of us together. When was that taken? So this was a few years ago. I snuck into your house. Looks like I came into your house at 4 in the morning. Why didn't she sleep in that phone? I know.

You were in a Firefly Bistro in Studio City, and I saw you walk in. I literally saw you walk in with a man. I'm allowed to hang out with men. Who's this mysterious beau? No one questioned it, and then you made it suspicious. She said you walked in with a man. My private life is my private life. I'm like, okay.

My wife listens to this podcast, and she can't know that I went to a restaurant with a man. I waited for you to finish your dinner, and I, you know, I've never asked anyone to take a selfie with me, any celebrity, nothing like that. And my friend saw that I was visibly like, oh, my gosh, it's Conan, blah, blah. And she, we saw you leave. She grabbed my arm. And she's like, we're taking a picture of Conan. And so we ran after you. You were waiting for your car in the valley.

And I came up to you and said, Conan, I'm a huge fan. I'd like to take a picture with you. And you were very nice. And took the picture with me. I think that's, I like to be nice to people if I can. How much did I ask? Excuse us. What?

You like to what? To strangers. Yeah. To strangers, I'm very nice. Or to whoever this man is. Yeah. Bartholomeo? I don't want his name on your lips.

Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Now, once you get to know me, Margaret, your life will be a hell. But when you're a stranger, I couldn't be more pleasing. So I'm glad. I'm glad we had that moment and we'll have another one because I make repeat appearances all over the world. Yes.

Yes, I hope to see you again and I'll bring all three of you to Disneyland. Very good. Great. Thanks a lot, Margaret. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye. Conan O'Brien needs a fan.

with Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising producer Aaron Blair, Associate talent producer Jennifer Samples, Associate producers Sean Doherty and Lisa Byrne.

Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SeriousXM.com slash Conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien needs a fan wherever fine podcasts are down there.