Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - C.U.T.I.E.

Episode Date: December 30, 2021

Conan speaks with roboticist Abhijeet about improving people’s lives with robots and his robot companion C.U.T.I.E. Wanna get a chance to talk to Conan? Submit here: TeamCoco.com/CallConan

Konan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Konan? Visit teamcoco.com slash call Konan. Okay, let's get started. Yes! Hi there, Abhi. You did it. I am here.

Whoa. I am here. Wow. Sorry. Apologize for maybe it's hard to know through Zoom how loud I am going to be sounded on your guy's ascent. Sir, your name is Abhi. Is that correct?

Are you Abhi? Yes, sir. You got me right. I have my name on a piece of paper. And Abhi, yes. You have an A and then a bumblebee. I'm just explaining this to the people in the audio world. Abhi, your sound, it sounds like you're either God or you're trapped in the bottom of a well.

What's happening with your sound? I still need to figure out what exactly is happening. But I don't think I am a God because if I was a God, I don't know, I would be in there with you in person perhaps. That's right. That's so nice. That's so nice of me because truly I'm in heaven. That's everyone's...

Heaven is a podcast. Exactly. Exactly. Heaven is a chatty podcast with a lot of stupidity in it. Abhi, so nice to talk to you. Where are you right now? So I am in a wonderful place. I'm going to give you a hint so you can guess where I am.

Okay. Heaven. I am in heaven also, but on the other side of the road. So in front of me is the Middle East and I'm right in central. Can you get the guess? No. In front of me is the Middle East, the club Middle East. The what Middle East?

The club. It's a famous... Oh, wait a minute. Are you in Cambridge? I am in Cambridge Central Square. Oh, wow. You're in Central Square, Cambridge. Yeah, that's an old haunt of mine from back in the day.

Yes. I used to hang out there way back when, hundreds of years ago when I was in Cambridge. So do you go to school there? Are you employed in Cambridge, Mass? That's a good question. I am no longer a student. I am working full-time and I work as a human-robot interaction researcher. Whoa.

I'm sorry. A human... Oh, I thought you said human robot. You mean human slash robot interaction researcher. That's what you mean, right? Actually, that's a very good sort of take on it because I do get to research how humans behave and also get to work on robots. Right.

And how to design robots so they can interact with humans. Yes, yes. I guess when you first said it, it sounds like I'm a human-robot interactions person. And I thought, what's a human robot? I've only met one. And his name is Jordan Schlansky. So that took me back a little bit. But I see, so you work on how to get robots and humans to work together, essentially.

Is that true? Exactly. That's it. Do you design robots? What kind of robots do you design? That's a very good question. I can actually show you for the listeners who cannot really see what I'm showing Conan. Well, I'll describe it.

It's a, hold it up. Let's see. Oh, look at that. Wow. Wow, he's pretty buff. It's a very muscular, it's white. It appears to be about three and a half to three and a half feet tall or four feet tall. It's a quite muscular white robot with a screen for a face.

It looks like it's wearing a space helmet. And it's really cute, actually. What's the name of that robot? So the name of this robot is Cutie. Oh. Hi, Cutie. How are you? Do not call me Cutie.

My name is Tuffy. I hate it when people call me Cutie. That's sexual harassment. I'm suing all of you. Bleep, bleep, bleep. All of you. Wow. Well, Cutie, did you build Cutie?

No. So I did not physically build the robot. This is a consumer robot that I'm working with and I'm designing software and I'm designing interactions that this robot can have with people. So that robot, oh, I see. Your job is to figure out how can I get this robot to interact with people as a companion? Is that the idea, primary? Exactly.

That's what I tell people that this is a tabletop companion robot. So you can see it's a non-mobile robot. It does not move around. It's supposed to be stationary at a place and then it can move or it can move its head. It can wave its arm and it can just like talk and interact with you. What? Now, do you think in the near future we will be interacting with robots? We'll have robot friends, robots that help us do things, robots that, because that was

always the dream that was promised to us when I was a kid in the 1960s and 70s. They said, oh, there's going to be robots and you're going to be able to play with them and be friends. And then all we got was these goddamn laptops and iPhones. And it's like, screw that noise. I want a robot that will play with me. You know, you're always thinking ahead of others, I believe. Thank you.

I appreciate and I really acknowledge the intellect and the smartness that you have, Conan. I've always been a huge fan of that. Can I say something, Abhi? Whoever programmed you did a beautiful job. Because I love everything you just said. And whoever, by hats off to your manufacturer. Exactly. I think Cutie just moved and came awake.

It did. Oh, look. You know what's funny? It woke up. Look, it's making a little wake up face. It is cute. It's screen is animated and it's got cute little eyes. And you know what's funny?

It woke up just as you were praising me and in the background it started rolling its eyes. The robot actually said, what a load of horse shit. Oh no, Abhi, Cutie has a knife. Get out of there. Oh no. I need to be away from him. Abhi, this is a concern. Do you ever worry that Cutie will rise up and destroy you, his master?

That's something that I was thinking you might bring up. But I'm not scared of Cutie at all. Look at it. Look at Cutie. What bad can it do? It doesn't move around. Well, that's the dumbest thing you'll ever say. Of course he can rise up and destroy you.

They always start out looking cute. You know, Hal in 2001 looked cute. Don't be deceived by Cutie. I would make sure that he is unplugged when you go to sleep at night. I would make sure that... Look how cute Terminator was. Wasn't there like a movie Chucky? The doll Chucky from the movie?

Wasn't there like a monster robot? No, he's not a robot. He's the possessed soul of a serial killer. Yeah, and also he doesn't look cute. He looks like me in adolescence. So don't be fooled. No, I just think you should, Cutie right now is standing behind you and blinking and doing his best to look like a happy-go-lucky robot.

But we all know that this ends very badly. Yeah. So it's been nice talking to you. I think you've got about a month to live. What would you like to accomplish? Like what are your dreams? What would you like to accomplish with robotics? There are so many things.

So the place where I work with my colleagues and I, you know, team, we're thinking of how robotics can be a beneficial asset to elderly people, to like your grandparents, for example. And my dream is to see sort of robotics be a really positive impact to their lives and to others also. So that's my current goal and it's a very long-term goal and there's a lot of research that needs to happen to make that a reality. It's very nice. You're saying that elderly people, maybe who don't have companionship,

robots could actually give them some joy and some happiness by interacting with them, doing things with them. Is that right? Absolutely. So part of my work is user research, which is reaching out to elderly people, going to their homes, looking at how they are actually interacting with others and just like living their lives and what their problems are. And they have a lot of physical assistantship that they can benefit from

by having robotics. One of the big problems that come up is they feel lonely. They want to talk to their grandkids. How can that be made possible? They're not that good with like mobile phones, laptops. As you said, maybe robots are better at sort of bridging that gap and maybe that's what we can experiment with and then see whether that makes an impact. I think that's very nice.

I do think though, if these robots are very intelligent, which they would be because they're robots, they might very soon start saying to the elderly people, you've told this story before. Not again. Not again. Oh, come on. The fifties couldn't have been that great. No, you did not fight in World War II.

You just watched a lot of World War II movies. I do not want any more hard candy. This candy is from last Christmas. What would be nice is if elderly folks say to robots that, hey, it's time for my 10K run, would you come with me? And the robot is like, oh, I have to run again with the person. Right. That's nice.

I like it. I would like a robot that just would say, what are you talking about, Dr. O'Brien? Your son called yesterday. Why are you bitching that he never calls? I have proof. He called it 1044 yesterday and still you're bitching he never calls. What about an audience of robots for Conan?

So he has an audience all the time. I mean, it's kind of like, you know, can you see the shirt here? Yes, it has my name on it. This is a proof of me actually going to a taping of yours because I was selected to be on the stage like one of those 10 people who get the shirt. If you remember. Oh, sure. So I got this shirt.

It has the word audience here. So it's like legit. And if I can actually this a shirt for cutie robot and then we have a robot audience for Conan. So that's nice. So you made a Conan shirt for cutie and cutie. The first thing cutie did is say, I would rather not wear this. I'm more of a Kimmel guy.

I'm a Kimmel guy. I prefer Fallon. He plays games. I like games. You know, it's my robot. It's not going to betray me ever. Oh, you're so naive. Oh, B, it's you're so naive.

It makes me sad. You know, you know what? Like the science fiction movies and all these media that we are surrounded with those have just like augmented our mental models of how robots actually behave. They are nothing but just machines that we are programming. I mean, yeah, we think about these as being like sentient agents that we don't have any control over.

But I worked with robots. I know how tough it is to actually make it move and do whatever. Okay. B, let me tell you something. Okay. This is bullshit because I was viciously attacked by my VCR in 1988. So I'm telling you, these things, these things can, they can rise up and they will rise up.

Yeah. And I'll be, I'm familiar with Rocos Basilisk. So I know what you're doing. He's laying a plan so that when the artificial intelligence takes over, they won't come kill him because he spoke fondly of them in the past. B, let me show you something that I keep on my desk. I've been working very hard on a very sophisticated, very complex robot who is my companion right here.

I purchased this in, when I was in Tokyo, I was actually shooting a show in Tokyo and I purchased this in a little shop. And I didn't think anything because it's just one of those robots that winds up with a little key on the side and it's made of tin. And the third night I had him, I brought him back to the United States. The third night I had him, I woke up, he was choking me to death. What's his name? His name is N, letters N, P.

This is actually on the front. Five, three, five, seven. Oh, and on the back it says robot lily putt. And there he is. And he's about his simple, a little toy green robot. I saw him in Tokyo looking at me out of shop window and I thought he was so cute. I bought him. And as I said, he immediately embezzled over $650,000 from the Conan O'Brien

estate. Isn't that the amount of money you were earning when you were at the docks? Oh, yeah. Right, exactly that amount. It was exactly, yes, I made quite a bit of money. You're really listening to the podcast. Yes, I was a male prostitute for a while. I used to go down to the docks.

Actually, no, that's what I spent. That's the amount of money I spent. You were losing money. I didn't make any money. You had to pay people. I had to pay people. Oh, excuse me. Bless you.

Sorry, I just sneezed. So one good thing about robots is you would not get COVID from robots. Hey. Yeah, sure. They'd kill me long before I get COVID. You don't need COVID. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm with B on this one. I like to think that all the robots are going to be like Wally and it's going to be fine. Yeah. And I'm going on the record saying that. For the record, I am too. For the future record, I love robots. In a documentary fashion. Can I ask, I don't want to take this thing into a crass area, but.

Oh, no. Well, let's just say it. Everyone's obsessed with the idea of a sex robot. You think that's going to happen anytime in the near future? Yeah. I haven't really thought about that much. Oh, but that's. I'll be, I'll be.

Come on. I'll be, I'll be, please. You're no one's listening to this. I'll be in the background. And the background cutie is saying, help me. Cutie's face, the eyes just went away and SOS just came out. SOS just came up. Yeah.

You also brought cutie down from a sex home. Oh, no. You know, where I found cutie, it was right where it couldn't used to be in the docks. I used to see cutie working the docks. He did very well. I made no money. Well, listen, I'd be, if you make any advances in the old sex robot. Well, all I'm saying is that I'd be happy to come and, you know, meet such a robot.

Why? Just to say hello. Oh. Because I like technology and science. So what I would say. You don't want to meet any other robots. I don't know about the application that you are thinking about, but when I talk about robots, like the application and the use case of this up to you and what you want the robot

to be doing. So. Yeah, it's true. If you cleaned my room or something, you would have the robot do something else. I don't know. Yeah, exactly. No, no. I mean, if you think about it, a vacuum cleaner can be a sex robot.

I mean, it all depends on what's going on. Oh, Jesus. And the way that Conan has sex, that thing's going to need to clean the room anyway. Do you guys have robots like these vacuum cleaning robots or other robots? I know Conan, you might have. I do not have a vacuum cleaning robot. There's no robots in this home. Well, we had a knockoff Roomba and it just left.

It just one day the door was open. No. Yeah, yeah. I wonder what made him leave the room. What are you inferring, Abin? I'm just thinking. I think about robots all the time from their perspective or their feeling. I think maybe the tenth time you played your ukulele.

Okay. All right. Fun's fine. We've had some fun. I think the tenth time you showed the Roomba your presidential coin collection. You heard a door slam and saw Roomba order itself an Uber. Abhi, how can I help you? Do you have a question for me?

Yeah, I do have a wonderful question. That was about, was wondering whether you can recall your memories about being in India. I'm from India and being to India. I know you are there in my hometown of Jaipur. Oh, I love Jaipur. I wanted to ask you how was the experience going? I absolutely loved it. The people were absolutely lovely.

I was in Jaipur and Sona, you were with me, remember? I was. That was one of my favorite trips ever. We went there on a shoot and we saw a piece in Jaipur and Sona came with me. And this was probably, I think this was 2010, exactly. And they call it the Pink City because it's all these ancient temples. It was absolutely gorgeous. And driving around the streets was such an adventure because traffic doesn't flow in any one direction.

It goes in every direction and by traffic, I mean cars, motorcycles, bikes, oxen, everything was moving in different directions, but it all kind of worked. And I remember the people being absolutely lovely and funny and just had, I had a delightful time. I really loved it there. It was fantastic. I can't believe you're from Jaipur. I am and I miss being in Jaipur. It has been so long since I was there last time due to the pandemic.

You know, one of the things that I remember very clearly is that we were shooting, I don't know if you remember this Sona, but we were shooting in Jaipur at this location, at this old temple. And during the shoot, occasionally monkeys, monkeys would descend down from the hills. And I guess they're a nuisance because they take things. They take like batteries from the cameras. They take flashlights from the people that are working on the shoot. They just, they're like, you know, they pick, they pick pockets. They take things and they run back up to the hills.

So to ward them off, there's people that are hired to throw firecrackers. They have, they keep firecrackers in their pockets and they, they're harmless little firecrackers that just make noise. But that's a job you can have in Jaipur, which is if someone's doing a shoot or doing some kind of activity where they can't have monkeys coming down and stealing things, you can hire someone and their job is to just make noise with these little firecrackers and the monkeys go scattering back up to the top of the hills. But they wait and then they start to slowly come down again. And I was fascinated by all of that. Just, just an incredible experience and talk about a good job for a robot, a robot that's like, come on, monkeys. Scram. Scram.

I have an interesting story. I have an interesting monkey story. When I was in Jaipur in India, a monkey actually entered into the kitchen from the door, opened the door, entered in and then opened the fridge, took a loaf of bread, just like smiled or maybe grinned at me and then just like left. Whoa. I love that. No, I could, first of all, God bless that monkey. Any monkey that, and the balls of that monkey to walk in, look you in the face, smile, open the fridge, take a loaf of bread and then say, I'll be on my way, more or less.

Yeah. And then go up into the hills. That's what happened. What a fantastic, right. Hey, Abhi, it was wonderful talking to you. Really nice. It's my dream come true talking to you guys. It's like, I am a huge, huge fan.

I've always been and you have been such a big part of my life. I cannot express my thanks enough for you. Abhi, you do not have to thank me. I love doing this and I love talking to people and getting to meet people like you. And thank you for listening to our idiocy. And please, the world is very anxious for you to create a robot that will replace me. You know, I actually worked on stand-up comedian robots in the past. Oh, really?

Which actually do stand-up comedy. So there's always that competition. Yeah. And guess what? My fear is true. They are rising up, but not as we've always been told to destroy us, but to take our jobs in comedy and do them a little bit better for less money. And that is my greatest fear. Abhi, very nice meeting you and I hope we meet in person sometime soon.

Whenever you are in Cambridge, like I am working at one of the most advanced robotics labs there could be. You are more than welcome to bring your kid back. I know he is big into robotics. Oh, my son loves robotics and he and his friends build robots and have them compete. And so maybe he'll bring one of his robots and we'll meet Cutie. And you and I can both have a beer and watch the two robots fight each other. Or maybe they'll be a little love connection. Absolutely.

That would be the amazing sort of like sharing on top. Yeah. And they'll give birth to a triple A battery. No. All right, Abhi. Abhi, take care and I hope to see you soon. See you soon Conan and Matt and Sona. Bye.

Thank you so much. Bye. Conan O'Brien needs a fan. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian and Matt Gorely. Produced by me, Matt Gorely. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Joanna Soloteroff and Jeff Ross at Team Coco and Colin Anderson at Earwolf. Music by Jimmy Vivino. Supervising producer, Aaron Blair.

Associate talent producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate producers, Sean Doherty and Lisa Berm. Engineered by Will Bekton, please rate, review and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded. Music. This has been a Team Coco production in association with Stitcher.