Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Daniel Radcliffe

Episode Date: July 19, 2021

Actor Daniel Radcliffe feels cautiously optimistic about being Conan O’Brien’s friend. Daniel sits down with Conan to talk about his comedy anthology series Miracle Workers, which role he’d play in the next Fast and Furious, and co-hosting the podcast Cunning Stunts with former Harry Potter stuntman David Holmes. Later, Conan and his team welcome David Hopping to fill in for Sona. Got a question for Conan? Call our voicemail: [phone].For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com.

Hi, my name is Dan Radcliffe and I feel cautiously optimistic about being Conan O'Brien's friend, which is pretty much an afternoon I take into every realm of life, so why should this be different? Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, great podcast lined up for you today. I like to think we always bring the goods, we always bring what pitchers call the high heat, you know, we don't throw junk, I don't throw knuckleballs, high heat every time, fast balls, 98 miles per hour on the radar. As you can tell, I love that people who aren't jocks always use jock analogies because it's their way of pretending they're jocks, that's my favorite

thing. Did you want to be a jock? Oh, God, I knew very early on that that was not the life for me. The first time someone threw me a ball, I knew I need to find something else quickly. I ran from the ball, they kept tossing to the ball and I would run from it every time. You're just so tall, like you would have been a good athlete. No, people always said that when I was growing up, people always said, hey, you're 6'4", you know, you must be great at basketball. They're not related.

You do need to have something called coordination and you also have to have the desire to put the ball into the basket. I'm going to say I have some coordination, but this is a true story. I used to play basketball with friends and, you know, not well, obviously, but I would play basketball with friends at this hoop that was near our house in Brookline Mass and we would start playing and I talked the whole game and I would pretend to be different people who had backstories and I remember so clearly my brother Luke just dropping his head because he just couldn't take it anymore. I was like, okay, now this guy, this guy was asked to leave the league for a while because he got really into black tar heroin and he

was on the lam for a while. He attacked a fan, but now he's back. You know, his name is Jack, you know, Jack, Jay, Jonas, you know, Jabbar and I would talk and talk and talk and people would be laughing for a while and then they'd be like, you're not playing basketball at all. I used to take crazy shots that I had no chance of making but shout out Madness while I did it because I thought it was funny and even Bob Odenkirk, he reminded me recently that when I used to shoot baskets with him, I would take my shirt, pull it up over my head and I'd become the Phantom and he was a guy who showed up at a basketball court and said, and Bob would play long ago, who are you when I'd say I'm the Phantom and no

one must ever know who I am and then I would shoot baskets but because I had a shirt over my head, I was terrible and so the Phantom was absolutely awful and Bob playing along with us always saying Phantom, if you took that shirt off your head, you might enjoy the game. You might actually make a basket and say no one must ever know the name of the Phantom and then I would toss the basketball as hard as I could and it would go flying over the rim, you know, rolling into the next court. I only cared about that shit and so for all of those reasons, the idea of earnestly trying in any way to do well in a sport and my best creation was a guy named Doulan and whenever I would play tennis, I would become

Doulan and Doulan was this Frenchman. You had a different persona for every sport. Yes, I did. I'm not even kidding. I actually brought Doulan back recently but I used to play with one of our line producers, Tracy King. I would play tennis with her and this is in the 90s during the late night show and we found this court and we'd go up there and we would just whack the ball back and forth and I created this guy Doulan who's French and obviously and he has contempt for everybody and he's very sexist and so I'd be playing with Tracy King and she would hit the ball to me and if it went over the line, I would say like women should not play tennis. It is, you know, and should be like saying Doulan,

you can't say that anymore and I say, I'm Doulan. I'm Doulan and then every time I hit the ball, I'd go Doulan, Doulan, Doulan, Doulan and I cannot and that was my idea of playing tennis. I didn't care where the ball went. I just wanted to be Doulan and Doulan was a horrible, horrible human being and whenever she kicked my ass, Doulan was like, it is not possible. I'm Doulan. Doulan cannot be defeated by a woman. You know, it's just ridiculous. It was insanity but that's my idea of playing sports so height got me nothing because I was crippled, crippled by a foolish brain. So anyway. They must have hated playing with you. They hated playing with me and as I'm learning

later in life, I was routinely just hated in general. All right, let's move on. But the podcast is my chance to redeem myself. My guests today start in the Harry Potter movies and has appeared on Broadway in such productions as Equus and How to Succeed in Business without really trying. Now you can see him in the third season of the very funny TBS series Miracle Workers. I really love this man. I'm thrilled he's with us today. Daniel Radcliffe. Welcome. There's so much to ask you about. First of all, I respect cautiously optimistic because that's just the right approach. You have people coming at you from all angles. You don't know what they want from you. You're a very famous person. So yes, cautiously optimistic

is fine. I also was struck that you call yourself Dan Radcliffe. I guess so. Yeah, everyone knows you as Daniel Radcliffe. And then have you always been Dan to your friends? Yeah, I don't mind Daniel. I'm like, I'm for anything with Danny. I am for some reason not a Danny. And like if and also if you introduce yourself to people in the UK, particularly as Danny, there's like a 50 50 chance that they will sing Danny boy to you immediately. I absolutely brought that on myself. But you did. But you didn't expect it as a Gregorian chance, did you? It's a really beautiful song, but it's so sad. And then to hear it that often. So yeah, Dan or Daniel is fine. But like Daniel feels like formal weirdly. So

like I also feel like if you're Danny, you have to wear a cap. You have to wear a tweed cap at all times. And it has to be pushed back on your head. And you're like, Danny, you know, I mean, it's just what's required of you. So I think you did the right thing going with Yeah, no, people have tried to nickname Conan and it doesn't break down into anything smaller. No, I mean, I think the first thing that came into my head was Nanny. And that doesn't work. No, I like that. And it's the same. And it's the same. And it's also the same length of it. We could try it if you want to try. I mean, Matt, you seem like you're eager to call me that. Oh, Nanny boy, the pipes, the pipes. Well, I I'm delighted

to have you on the show. You are a very funny and very nice person. And I also have to say, you are of all the guests I've talked to over the years, you're the one and it's not your fault. But you make me feel very, very old. I think I was easily, you know, 12 years into my late night show when I had you on and you were a little boy. And now here you are. And you've got this very impressive beard. I could not grow that beard without some sort of hormonal treatment. And you're one of those people that makes me think, what happened? I must be 80 years old. I met you. I think you were 14 or 13 when I met you. Probably 13. Yeah, I mean, I think I am that for a lot of people, I think, because I am just like, yes, you

know, I was introduced to the world as like an 11 year old. And so when people now see me is like, Oh, my God, what has happened? How much time can possibly have passed? And I I now like, there are people that are that for me, like there was a girl that was the daughter of the makeup artist on Harry Potter was born basically just before we started the first film. And then like by the time we finished the film, she was a 10 year old child. And then now she is adult woman. And you know, so I'm getting a sense of what that is like, but I am aware that I make people feel very old when I tell them I am 31. You know, it's also funny because you could have so much fun with people. You are through

no fault of your own. Actually, just because you were a talented young man, you're casting this role that became this benchmark for so many people, this this generational benchmark. And so there are a lot of people like me that that know you. I mean, and also you'll find that time accelerates. I'm talking to you like I'm Yoda accelerates. It does. You'll see it. No, it does speed up. So I feel like you made you finish the Harry Potter films like to me that feels like about four years ago. But that's because I'm an old fool. What I and things have accelerated. You could freak a lot of people out if you bought a walker or a cane and started using it. Yeah. And if people said, Daniel, what's wrong? You

be like, Oh, it just happens as one gets older. You'd freak people out. It's so great. Well, that's the thing that may be my actual life one day. And I won't need to pretend. And then that'll really freak me out and everyone else. Yeah, it is. It's very it is. It's it's a very sort of strange thing. And I also feel that the time accelerating thing even even now that's beginning to feel that. And yeah, it seems like it's crazy. We think we finished Potter pretty much exactly 10 years ago now. And that's the yeah, that's really it's crazy. I will also say that when I did go on your show when I was a child, you were like you were so nice. And I was so excited. I'm pretty sure I just peppered you with questions about

the Simpsons. And you were I just remember it was like it was one of the really it was one of my only like, yeah, it was a very nice memory of doing a very crazy thing when you young. It's nice. I'm glad. First of all, be really hilarious if your recollection was you came on as a 13 year old boy and I was incredibly cruel to you. Well, like, I'm not going to my dressing room. Do you know who the fuck I am? Some people are kind of like that. No, but that's so that's one thing like no, like right, we're going to name them in the next. Yeah, definitely not. You know, it was you were you know, yeah, you were not one of them.

That's right. You were a big comedy fan even then. And it's nice because there there is obviously sprinkled throughout the Harry Potter. There's all these comedic moments. But you also so often and you did it so well had to play this incredible intensity as things were getting more and more complicated for your character. And then you've spent, you know, a chunk of your adult performing life being really funny. You're a very talented comedian. So it's clear to me that you just had the ear for that. That's not something that comes later in life. You have that or you don't. And the fact that you were kind of obsessed with the Simpsons at such a young age and were you were asking me questions

about it leads me to believe you just had that early on. I mean, that's incredibly kind of you to say thank you. I it's always been like the majority of what I've watched and loved watching. I mean, I was I watched the Simpsons, including like, I've probably watched listen to the like the directors commentary and the writers commentary on at least the first like nine, 10 seasons of the Simpsons between like, you know, when I was growing up and very, very into it. And then yeah, just a lot of British stuff like the stuff that we you know, we were on the Harry Potter set, but me and particularly Matt Lewis who played Neville were just constantly quoting like quoting Alan Partridge back to

each other. Yes. Which is something that's never like that hasn't like not like people obviously know about the like the English office. And that's a huge touchstone in America now. But I do feel like we're trying to explain why Alan Partridge is so brilliant is very, very difficult. And it's just you just yeah, I want to recommend it to everyone. I've adored Steve Coogan's work for years and years and used to having on the late night show and my audience didn't know who he was. And this was you know, before he's he's made you know, a lot of film sense, but they didn't know Alan Partridge and I would have him on the show and I would say I don't care if the audience knows him or not. They just he needs

to be heard. We need to get the word out on Alan Partridge. And I look at it and I go I I don't know what's funnier than Steve Coogan as Alan Partridge. Have you watched it Matt? Have you seen Alan Partridge? I used to have the British import DVDs and a special DVD player. Just anyone listening right now if you are just a true fan of comedies Steve Coogan Alan Partridge and I'm sure there's a lot of you listening going we know Conan we know because we have a lot of comedy fans that listen and so this will this will sound like I'm telling you about this amazing new drink called water. But it's interesting to me that when I when I first met you, you had every right to have sort of a and I'm sure you've heard this a

million times so we don't have to dwell on it but to be that young and to get that seminal role and do it so well and be such a part of people's lives, you have every right to be a screwed up person and I don't know people must say that to you off. Yes. Like oh I you were you were a the child star of a decade and now they must expect a certain behavior from you. Yeah, I definitely was very aware early on particularly that like oh people have very low expectations of what I'm going to be like. In a way it's just great. Hopefully you always exceed them but it I mean it. The very fact that you're not on crack. Right. Probably just immediately people are like hey high five. Daniel. Good for Dan. Good

for you. I remember like I went out with I was like out with the director and the director of photography on a film I was doing once and we were like having dinner and I told some story about my life like just some like weird story about a thing that had happened to me and I was having it in a kind of light amused way and we got to the end of it and the DP just looked at me and went how are you not what he's for me was like how are you not more messed up and I did that is a reaction that like does happen sometimes and I don't really have like a satisfying answer for people ever I don't think I have like very like good normal parents who were both supportive of me but also like asked me

in between every film basically are you still enjoying this are you still having fun you do know you don't have to do this and I was always like I really want to do this I hate school so much this is where it would much be no I've done being Harry Potter I want to go to school and get into that geometry I've heard so much about you know but I do think but I think they were very conscious of like just as I was conscious of the stereotype of child actors they were also very conscious of like the cliche of child actor parents and like what that is and so they didn't want to be those like pushy parents or type either and so you know I had them I had very I had great parents and and also also parents who

like knew a bit about the industry like my dad had been a literary agent they both been actors my mum had been a casting director so they were helpful in terms of guiding me as well but I would also say you know the other people that I was like you know I spent ten years with and very formative years with the crew on Potter and they remained like the key positions all remained mostly the same so they really cared about all the kids and there was a really there was an atmosphere of we love you but we're also not gonna you know let you become something terrible and monstrous and so you know I really benefit I it was very I was also it was luck you know it's incredibly lucky to be with those people

so the crew basically beat you every day I mean no not at all but but but but if I if I needed it I trust that they would have and they were they were always like you know they were never gonna let me get cocky and and turn into some sort of you know asshole can I swear I'm very I'm sort of swearing but am I allowed to swear like oh you shouldn't this is a this podcast is a filthy sordid fair okay fine no but you know Matt and Sona they try to keep me humble but it doesn't work I'm a raving yeah Caligula like figure right in their lives they try and then I think they just have given up at a certain point there's no stopping whatever happened to me in childhood was not at all related to fame

I think I was bitten by a radioactive asshole and then it gave me asshole superpowers don't you think so no absolutely no yeah definitely I was just thinking about the other day when you compared yourself to a pharaoh okay well we don't need to get into that I just just trying to make the point that I can't be you know yes many people are moving the stones and building the pyramid and my job is to check it out once in a while and eat some figs right that's all I said I think that's a reasonable reasonable analogy to make very reasonable yeah uh you know I I was very saddened when Alan Rickman passed because I loved him as an actor and he was such a like a big part of the Harry Potter films and I had the chance

to interview him long ago on late night I remember thinking I don't think I did a good job with Alan Rickman because I respected him so much but I was just curious what he was like on set is he I mean he's so formidable as an actor that I was I think I was afraid of him when I was interviewing him yeah you know it was fine but I I left thinking oh I think he left unimpressed and so I've always you know anyway I thought I'd ask you about it I think a lot of us finished working with Alan Rickman and and sort of what's happening like I don't know if I did a good job with Alan Rickman because he's oh good so it's not just me no no I mean definitely feel like it took until like the the third or fourth

because he is he's just so good and so effortlessly good um and you know there were so many of the actors that we had on Potter were were that and so we were all spoiled but Alan also just yeah in his demeanor and that voice it was like particularly as a child was like vaguely terrifying but then around the time of the third or fourth film I think when he could tell that I was really starting to get into it and like really enjoy being on set for other reasons than yeah you know not being in school um he he I think really started taking he was just very always very kind I mean he he saw every bit of theater that I ever did um he at one point cut well he cut short his um vacation I think he'd been like

holidaying somewhere I think we've been holidaying Canada and he like came he came back to New York early so that he could see me an equus before it closed there um and he'd like would take me out for dinner and sort of um you know him and his partner Rima and we'd like he would like not he would give advice but in the least patronizing way in a very like you should look into this because it will it will help build you or like the next stage you need to try and be and you know knowing what I wanted from it as well so yeah he was just um and and you know at his it's I think it was very telling that like at his memorial it was just full of so many people of various ages saying like he was some kind of mentor

to me like he was very much yeah um you know somebody that just constantly uh was I mean yeah he's one of the many people that you just look and and try and learn as much from as possible I was introduced to him I think like a lot of people in diehard where he is I think one of the best movie villains of all time and um one of the things that I love so much about that character that just delights me every time I see diehard and anytime it's on I'll watch it and I I swear to God I'm watching it for Alan Rickman because I love his performance so much is that he spent years planning this heist and everything has to go off just perfectly and then they basically come and tell him uh sir um there's a policeman

we didn't know about he's loose he took the the explosives we need uh that are key to the whole operation and he's loose in the building and he's killing our men and uh and it's and most bad guys at that point would be like shit let's get out of here but he's just like hmm intriguing and then they come and say oh he just killed 15 more people and he's took more of the things we need to make this and now we're missing nine of the 10 things we need to make this this plan work and he goes hmm policeman eh hmm well you'll just see I'm like I wish I was like that in life Conan you know like horrible thing just happened your house is on fire I'm intrigued no he is I mean that's the thing he's also he's

so funny that's the thing he is also he's capable of being incredible like emotional actor but also just like him in galaxy quest as well I mean like he is yes yes he's so brilliant and dry and that's what like that was the real kind of true I remember he he came to see it was when we did it in London and he took he was very good friends with Richard Griffiths who's again another of the the funniest amazing people that I've got to work with and and uh they were friends and we all went out for dinner after and suddenly having spent many years with Alan on set and being like kind of intimidated by him suddenly I was like at dinner with him and after like a theater show that I had been in and he was

like telling stories and being like incredibly like funny and self-deprecating and like you know just um yeah it was one of those you really felt it was a it was a little treat to be there you bring up a quest your theater work and I I do applaud you because I think you've done such a good job of building your career I mean obviously you come off all these Harry Potter films and you were you know I credit you you were very smart about building yourself as an actor and choosing who you work with you may or may not know I'm a massive fan of Simon Rich's oh yeah he's uh he's a massive and he's the real deal and he has uh I read his prose I read his short stories that he's done for the New Yorker and his collection

stories and he's um you know I think oh this is this is up there this is classic American comedic prose you know and it just makes me and and so the fact that that you guys found each other for miracle workers uh that that just feels like you have you have such a good ear for who to work with who to be with what to do next you know and and obviously working with Steve Buscemi and so I don't know I'm very uh it's funny because I met you when you were 13 I sometimes have this weird feeling of I'm very proud of Daniel like I I had nothing I had nothing to do with you but sometimes I pretend I'm your father you know I think Daniel's handled well Conan if you if you're his father why aren't you around him more

well I I'm a heavy drinker and I left the family but I maybe I can just pretend I'm your like American you know second father uh but I'm I'm very uh I don't know very I'm very proud of what you've managed to do and what you've managed to build thank you thank you so much I mean um yeah I I've been very lucky I think there was a number of people um after Potter finished there's there was always the idea that oh you're gonna be a type cast is this thing or pigeon holders this thing whatever that I got asked that a lot sort of at the time but for every person there was there was like oh I only see you as Harry Potter there was somebody out there who was like oh I would like the chance to be the

director who shows you in a new light like that's like uh an exciting prospect to somebody as well so like you it wasn't I feel like the I got a lot of amazing opportunities straight after and a couple of people like took chances on me like the the people who put Equus together when I had never done a play before um or you know um John Prochita so you let me play like Alan Ginsberg in a film um you know there's definitely people that like gave me those opportunities and you just take them sort of as they come and try to make the best of them and also I was in the position to just do stuff that I liked and not have to do stuff that I mean I'm and I'm generally stuck to that like I think there were a couple of things that I've done

that I was like have maybe slightly done for the wrong reasons of like thinking it was a smart thing to do rather than actually like want and like loving it and and the thing I mainly took away from them was like oh you you were in the position of only having to do things you love so for as long as you're in that position um you might as well just stick to that and then I mean Miracle Workers and and Simon I I read the I read his uh the book What in God's Name that the first season of the show was based on and I was just like this is it's very I think making somebody laugh out loud from from a novel or from a short story is yes such an incredible skill and they are just they're also there's they're incredibly funny and there's real like

darkness and cynicism to the humor but there's also a real warmth and kindness to it that I uh I really enjoy and so the chance to like spend several seasons in that kind of world is yeah it's it's a real it's a dream well I also love what I love about Miracle Workers too which I think is such a smart move is that it resets after every season so you can go from you can explore the the middle ages but you wisely I think no well we can't stay there right you know I mean you would love to but you get all the best pulp out of that and then you can reset and say okay now we're on the Oregon Trail and completely reset uh which I think is kind of I guess what black I mean Blackadder another show that I Rowan Atkinson uh who I was obsessed with in the 80s

and and I was obsessed with Blackadder and I just thought the the level of the writing and performing on this show at the time I thought that's that's so much better than anything we have in America Blackadder is incredible and that's that's the only thing I can think to compare it to either in terms of the sort of dumping around in different historical periods which is sort of where we've now got to with Miracle Workers over the last couple of seasons but yeah I mean one of the um one of the things Simon said before we did the first season was none of us had an interest in doing something that was a story that you just had to keep going infinitely you know we wanted to so I wanted to write something with a beginning middle and end

as the novel had been rather than trying to make something that was kind of open-ended um and for me that like fit my purposes exactly because I just you know I played Harry Potter for 10 years so I'd like the idea of not playing one character for a long time again if possible well I'll tell you I've been playing Conan O'Brien for 28 years thank you well apparently no one else wants to do it they actually had an open casting call and people said no no one wanted to wear that wig uh have that name um talk like that and act like that so remember that sonna we had a huge cattle call oh it's huge who wants to play Conan and cast a wide net yeah we offered offered millions of dollars no one wanted it no one but um you know it makes me curious like there must be stuff out

there like a wild swing that you'd love to take someday whether it's in action or some kind of movie that no like disaster movies I I heard that you might that that was one of your fantasies was to be in an insane disaster I mean yeah I do I like I love massive like either monster B movie or disaster movie of some kind I just watched I this is at relevant to nothing it's not a disaster movie but I watched Congo the other day for the first time and it was because it was on lots of lists of like sort of like not great films whatever and I like I enjoy films that are generally not here Congo is fantastic I will stand up for that film I went to college with the girl that played the main gorilla with the aiming yeah with two actresses that I did also look this up

because I was like who's in the gorilla costume they're doing fantastic work marina no yeah yeah you went to college with her yeah and she got pulled away from the theater department and she just disappeared and when she came back she was like I was a gorilla in this big movie in that telling it sounds like she was abducted to be in yeah sometimes how it happens yeah you tell me I mean didn't they just take you out of school one day Daniel and not tell you what was going on and then 10 years later they released you yeah either getting checked for lice or put in a major motion picture so uh so yeah you watch Congo and yeah but I yeah I do I would love that there's no like in terms of like wild swing it's always hard to say like I would definitely be in a disaster

movie if I if I love the script and like that sounded that sounded fun like 100% I think that like in terms like an actual I think I would consider a big swing that I know I do want to do like I want to like write and direct and then do that at some point and that feels like way riskier because there's you know no evidence that I'll be getting that other than just like a feeling of I've been here a while it should be well but the other thing too is you have my one if I always think what would be the one piece of advice I would give to young people if anyone was listening and and sometimes I think it is give things a shot because you have less to lose than you think you do we're so afraid of the humiliation and it is painful to fail at things it's very

painful but if you can set that aside and go for it it really does usually even if the project doesn't work out the way you wanted it to I don't think you ever regret giving it a shot you don't so so why not that's hopefully on the cards in the next few years but yeah and as you say failure is in like yeah there's always something to learn from it and feel like I mean I'm somebody who's like a lot of other people would be like you haven't experienced much failure but I look at my some of my acting and I go that's there's some failure in that acting um but like particularly you know when I was like young young so I think yeah it's definitely something that you're always like gonna gonna glean something from well and I you're clearly beating around the bush but I will be the star of

that movie you write and direct oh thank you that's really good I accept Daniel I accept it's really really nice I've never I've never acted but I too have to just give things a try so you heard it here okay gentlemen yeah you're joking around but your your your agent or somebody's gonna be really angry when I called them later and said he said and I haven't I don't have one anymore okay they left me they left me they said not enough was coming in uh it could be me or Ed Sheeran you know just one of us we're pretty much the same person uh you know it's so funny because I was thinking about this like it would you want if they if they said oh just for fun and they said Daniel do you want to be in a uh Dan sorry Dan do you want to be in a Fast and Furious 10 uh

because those movies I have such a fascination with those films and there's a new one coming out now but and I am going to go to the movie theater and watch it because the way you have an obsession with uh Congo I have an obsession with the Fast and Furious franchise starting with like the fourth or fifth one when they completely lost their minds yeah but they're great they completely lost their minds all the whoever's behind that thing went insane and they just keep making more and more money and so I just watched them I mean this is this will be 10 coming out the next one right this will be nine I think one that's coming out this by the time people hear this yeah nine will have been out yeah I mean that's you know that is incredible and like they are but I would I

would love to be in a movie like that but like only if in that case in the instance of those films if I could have like a non-driving part that'd be great um there's no such thing well there's no such thing as a non-driving part I've got something driving driving on camera is the single is maybe the part of my job I hate the most I barely drive in real life I have a license and I but I really I'm not good at it and don't really do it and so like trying to hit a mark in a car is my is my most hated part of it but uh yeah so some nice um I could be you know I could be a sort of I could do some of the admin I'm sure they must need a lot of that there must be an administration by that you're the one doing everyone's dental you know someone's filling out forms for Vin Diesel and

the rest of the family I just love that no matter what the problem they're presented with it always involves seven cars and so the problem could be well there's uh there's someone's embezzling at this firm and so what we should probably do is go in and look at the books and do an audit and then prove that this person embezzled and then arrest them what do you guys think we have a better idea it involves seven cars all crashing into the building at the same time but this is the same problem you have with chips that exactly the same obsession I have with chips which is uh every problem every crime must be committed uh on a dreary highway in Los Angeles and the only way if it's an art forgery the art foragers are doing the forging in the back of a

semi truck that's going 65 miles an hour on the 405 freeway and the only people to stop them are two guys on motorcycles but I want you to I want you in that franchise that's when my guy would come in it is the admin guy when they have that embezzlement case they'd be planning the seven cars and I'd be there going guys this is all unnecessary this is exactly what I do I checked we need permits if we're going to shut down the streets and uh it's a two month lead time for these permits so what I suggest is we hire an accountant we go in and we do some forensic accounting yeah um and then they just they just tape your mouth shut and stick you in a barrel hey if the producer franchise are interested I'm I'm into it let me ask you about your podcast uh which uh is is called

you do it with your friend David Holmes oh thank you so much for mentioning that oh yeah of course uh you know I but it's it's it's kind of fascinating and and you're in David's relationship is kind of fascinating because this is a podcast you do with the guy who was your stunt double is that right for many years yeah so David was my stunt double on Potter the podcast um is called cunning stunts and it's a um it's a which you know I'm sorry to anybody who has to say that instead of me um and uh he just don't have a few drinks and try to say it yeah um I had a few drinks instead and try to announce it into a microphone of 800 people and I was arrested um so yeah I'm basically Davey was kind of like an older brother figure to me in many ways like when we met I was

I guess 10 or 11 he was about 17 which at the time is like a mass now we're just two men in our 30s but like at the time is huge and um he was my stunt double through films uh one through six and then on uh prior to um the start of the seventh film filming um he was testing a stunt and he uh it went very very badly wrong and he became paralyzed um and he is and he is and he is still um and but he's uh you know so to watch this person who was like this incredible figure in my life but was like a real he you know he was like a gymnast before he was like he was like an incredible his physicality was like a huge part of his identity and to watch that person then like have to like rediscover who they are from the ground up at that at that point um has just been like he's one of

the most incredible people I know and and we're trying to do something hopefully bigger just about kind of uh Dave's story at some point but um but yeah we've also we've done this podcast which is basically Dave and occasionally me jumping in really badly I hate listening to myself on this I don't know how you guys do it uh but like I'm not a good interviewer Dave actually has become like a really good interviewer through it but um he's talking to other stunt guys and and girls about their experiences in the industry and um you know kind of how they came into it and and what it's like to to do stunts on a on a film and but I like to think that because it's Dave interviewing people there is like a a very kind of casual nature to the conversation where people are telling

some like really really cool stories I have so much respect for stunt people and and in the last 28 years of of doing uh a lot of physical comedy I'm always amazed that someone's just about to throw me through a window and then they say cut and this guy who's exactly my height with a ridiculous pompadour wig strapped which is actually more dangerous than any stunt he's gonna do to uh is is then thrown through the window there's a part of me that is secretly wants to do it because I grew up with a lot of brothers and we were constantly actually throwing each other out of us and so I uh it was part of me that wants to do it and then I see what they're doing and how much what you know craft and how and and and what's involved and uh I so my my hat's off

and and what your friend David went through just sounds terrible but it sounds like he has risen to the challenge of of remaking his his life in the light of something like that which is just horrific yeah in a way that I'm not sure I know anyone else that could like yeah he's just he's incredible and yeah a lot of people I think the fact that we call them stunts like hides what they do with a layer of mystery where people are like you know there is no like stunt to falling down a flight of stairs you just fall down flight of stairs you do it and you there are people that can do it like really well and you'll have pads on sometimes but like and you can protect yourself a bit but ultimately you're still doing the thing like there's no you know when there was a thing I

did on a on a job once where somebody uh had to it was like picked up on a wire and they went through the air and then something redirected them and they had to like hit the side of a tree and it was just a real tree and he hits it like at speed several times you know they're just they are just incredibly tough and they love it and it's and you know it and but you also do you definitely see directors sometimes for I do think forget that some people are people and it's like great that was really good let's have another like well if it's good don't make them do it again that's you wouldn't want to do it more times than was necessary um right but yeah stunts are also like uh if you if you have occasion to hang out on a film set for any reason stunts are generally a really cool

fun department to like try and embed with and hang out with they're they're really they're generally really awesome people yeah I immediately always size them up as being much better and more impressive than me you said about um you said about wanting to try and have a go at it I recently had a moment of that on uh on Miracle Workers there was a there's a scene where um my my character like runs into runs and jumps off uh like conveniently placed a stump of a tree and jumps from that onto a horse but onto his horse and I watched the rehearsal and I was like I reckon I can have a go at that and um and and it was like I'm gonna make my excuses now it was slightly uphill so I kind of underestimated how hard I'd have to jump but I was like and I said to the stunt I was like I said to

the stunt coordinator can I can I try that and he was like yeah you absolutely can but like don't worry Gatlin who was my stunt double on it um was is also like here and I was like I was like I'll probably fail but like I'd like to have a go secretly thinking you're not gonna fail you're gonna make this jump and then I did it kind of but like in a I just it was very messy and ugly and then I watched Gatlin do it on the next take and just like bound off this tree stump and perfectly land on top of the horse and I was like yeah why would I want to see why would I want to why would I want to subject people to me stroke the horse turned you and said that's how it's done exactly it was really I was like I'm sorry there's a talking horse who then through shade at Daniel

Radcliffe that's what's happening in my mind it was here he was humiliated by a horse Daniel uh I have to say I was driving over here to the studio and and really looking forward to talking to you because as I said for no reason whatsoever uh I'm proud of you in this paternal way that I have not earned uh but but I I really am I you're in it you're an exceptionally uh talented and and nice uh fellow and I'm just I'm very happy and impressed with with what you've managed to do because there are many people who would think the Harry Potter franchise uh is is a lottery ticket and and we both know all too well that those are situations that are uh they give and they take and they're very fraught and it takes uh an exceptional person to navigate that and you

are that person so wow thank you thank you so much for talking to me no thank you so much having me on it's lovely to every every other time we've done this it's been like on your show which has been lovely but very quick so it's lovely to have like longer to chat this has been awesome yeah it's uh it goes one of two ways people either learn that they really enjoy talking to me or they quickly realize no six minutes is about all hey Daniels uh best of luck with this project that you're working on now and uh I look forward to running into you soon in the near future and uh keep at it and my best to mr rich yeah he did the first few series and they were amazing but I should also I should shout out Dan Merck and Robert Paddock who did this season and they're

amazing um but yes I feel like everything else we said about it stands like the first two you know it still all applies hey thanks so much and uh I'll talk to you soon thank you very much going thank you everybody all right this is a big moment on the podcast because as we know sona's about to give birth to twins which means that things are going to change around here and there's a bit of a transition in process conan sona we also are welcoming someone very special here today david hopping david welcome thank you uh david hopping let me explain uh is going to be filling in for sona david's been with the show how many years have you on the show david around four four years okay four years yeah almost five 2016 okay you know one thing we do in this podcast is we

keep the answers kind of terse so no one cares it's four or five yeah someone might uh no one person my mom cares even your mom is like whatever david move on she's so happy she's at home she's so glad i'm not in illinois she's at home saying that's so david four no five no wait four no four and a half david you've been on the podcast before remember in the first quarantine episode so listeners might know david yeah david you have taken on a very sacred role sona many people say is the beating heart of the podcast conan bryan needs a friend i am the mind sona is the heart and uh matt gorley uh is there's an organ behind the spleen that we don't know what it does it's more some people think it's just a piece of cartilage but

people are saying i'm the libido of the podcast hey there you go yeah i suppose i suppose sexual energy you're the sexual energy that uh i mean just look at me i'm in a plaid shirt in a plaid shirt yep you are ross sex appeal but this is an important time for us because while you're here sona you need to help david understand what his role on the podcast is going to be now he has worked at the show as he said for five years yeah but he may not know what his job is here and it would probably make sense for you to try and walk him through it so wait yeah we should be clear taking over for me on the podcast as well i just thought as i thought we were just yeah oh this is breaking news what are you you're what are you doing well i assumed that if you're leaving

we need another person here it's you know there's got to be three of us okay all right no that's cool i i think david probably wanted to know that as well and now i do so it would have been nice information for welcome david to know so yeah i'm just assuming we need a third voice there is no the strongest shape is the triangle yeah i think i don't even think that's true i just said that i i'm with you though just so long as it doesn't have to be you and me awkwardly trying to get through an intro it'd be nice to have david there well the first thing david is communication is lacking on this entire oh you weren't aware that david's going to be filling in your role in the podcast david i don't think anyone was aware until right am i wrong hey wait a minute maybe i'm wrong i just

assumed that was a good idea adam what's happening here am i right uh yeah i mean i think that's a good idea but the the conversation was going to be about david kind of filling in persona as your assistant and and getting up to speed oh i thought we were permanently replacing i thought we were permanently replacing sona permanently well yeah you're a mom now you can't be doing this shit what are you talking about i assumed that we were getting rid of sona she's out the door and we're bringing david in oh my god david run run away as fast as you possibly oh yeah you don't want to make a lot of money just gabin on the radio occasionally with a comedic legend who needs that come on i'm not a comedic legend you are you are considered a comedic legend weren't you a

voice at disneyland yeah i was a trash can there you go and you know what to me you'll always be a trash can oh that's sweet um no no i don't i i just think he's here today and i'm gonna be honest with you i think if he hits it out of the park today who knows this could be it this could be your farewell episode sona so just you've got to um you got to be on your toes today sona okay how is this i like to pit people against each other that's what lauren did it sign up live and it made that show hum you know did you see that your rival got a sketch on are you feeling nervous conan oh look rival now conan's doing well you know that's the kind of thing that makes that show uh so uh superlative and that's what i want to do here i want to pit you and uh is

it david okay yeah i want to pit you and david against each other and see uh you know and and that's going to make both of you fantastic you can't you know why because we've already established david and i are on a team we're allies and you are the enemy so this is how we approach this entire thing you stand again you stand again here david this could really change your life oh wow how will david hold you 29 you're 29 years old yeah i don't know what your income is but um here is boss do you want to give me more while we're here look i don't does the pharaoh know every detail of the pyramid's construction no he visits the pyramid every couple of months and eats a fig and takes a look at it and says looks okay to me then tens of thousands of people

very short life expectancies move the stones around that's sort of my role i'm the pharaoh got it so i don't know exactly what you make but i imagine if you became a regular part of the podcast um you would you know bump up quite a bit in your life so can i get this straight i'm sorry real quick are you firing me because i'm having babies i looked into this okay you know what i looked into this so and trust me i looked into it i got got some oh my i got so many lures involved um no okay i i am not firing you because you're having babies because i'm told that plan that i had is not legal and is morally wrong okay so that's not happening okay you had to be told that is morally wrong okay it doesn't either way i've i think we've come to a good conclusion for you

which is that you will be welcome back with open arms as soon as you're ready to return here okay at a reduced salary no okay there it is well i'm sorry but i don't think there's a law against that there is oh right they did tell me that yeah there is there absolutely is um you know what i keep forgetting what the lures told me yes that's right yes same salary or probably even higher yeah yeah i'm sorry i have my plots and schemes and then um it's very good they always bring lawyers in to explain to me that i can't do that that that hasn't been most of what i want to do to the staff hasn't been legal since 1840 1840 in england and uh 1978 in america so uh a lot of this seems like common sense though but uh it does it does you'd think but it it really isn't

as i'm proof um but let's let's start with then let's say that he's not replacing you on the podcast i was trying to pull a fast one okay and seeing if i could maybe you just go oh good for you and then i would have audio record if you're resigning that didn't happen um you oh you you were trying to bait me into quitting i just thought maybe it would happen and we would have uh what my lawyers said was proof i also think there would be an uproar if sona permanently left the party sona goes i go for sure yeah oh oh yeah that's nice it's oh you're going to go to one of your other hit podcast me and mr quibbles uh ships in a bottle talk now you just go on maternity leave with me of course i'm being funny i have to point that out because that's what really funny people do

but my point is this uh matt girly is a very successful podcaster long before i stumbled out of this scene i make these jokes but they're absurd and they're wrong i i denigrate you for no reason matt and i should be honoring you instead sona of course you're always welcome here you are the heart as i said as a podcast that's nice and uh had you uh voluntarily been tricked into resigning i might have taken you up on it but you didn't and so you will be returning soon i hope i waste a lot of time on this segment trying to trick sona into resigning it didn't work yeah but now we get to the meat of the issue which is uh sona is going to explain her duties and this is going to be hilarious because i think she has no idea what a professional assistant does so tune in to that uh wonderful

piece of chicanery and tomfoolery uh on the next episode of cone and obrien needs a friend wow this is exciting this is our first ever segment cliffhanger it's yeah what a cliffhanger this is our this is instead of who shot jr or uh what does rosebud mean uh we our version of that on this show is sona explains what an assistant does to a relative stranger he gives me time to figure it out yeah we'll see you next week cone and obrien needs a friend with cone and obrien sona mufsesian and matt goreley produced by me matt goreley executive produced by adam sacks joanna solitarov and jeff ross at team coco and collin anderson at earwolf theme song by the white stripes incidental music by jimmy vivino take it away jimmy

our supervising producer is erin blair and our associate talent producer is jennifer samples engineering by will beckton talent booking by paula davis jenna batista and brick con you can rate and review this show on apple podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode got a question for conan call the team coco hotline at 323-451-2821 and leave a message it too could be featured on a future episode and if you haven't already please subscribe to cone and obrien needs a friend on apple podcasts stitcher or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded this has been a team coco production in association with earwolf