Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - David Oyelowo

Episode Date: June 10, 2024

Actor, director, and producer David Oyelowo feels winningest about being Conan O’Brien’s friend. David sits down with Conan to discuss playing Coriolanus at the National Theatre in London, attending boarding school in Nigeria, and serving up something authentic with his new series Lawmen: Bass Reeves. Later, Conan confronts his very own personal Rosebud. For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com.Got a question for Conan? Call our voicemail: [phone].

Hi, my name is David Oyelowo and I feel... Winning-est about being Conan O'Brien's friend. Winning-est. You win. You beat everyone. I've just always wanted to use that word in a sentence. Fall is here, hear the yell, back to school, ring the bell, brand new shoes, walk and lose, climb the fence, books and pens. I can tell that we are gonna be friends. Yes, I can tell that we are gonna be friends. Hey there. Welcome to Conan O'Brien.

Needs a friend? I don't know why you always laugh at the intro. We always look at each other. Oh, we do. Matt, Gorley. Just between me and Gorle. Nice to have you here. And Sona, you are, I guess, a necessity.

Um... What? Thank you? Come on, I love you. Is it a thank you? I love you. I love you too, but, you know, there's nicer things to say. I'm not sure there are.

Okay. It's a wonderful day out there. It is. I just, uh... You. Okay. It's a wonderful day out there. It is. I just, uh... You know, you guys are always telling me, oh, don't think first about what to say, Conan. Just start talking. And then I do, and you say I got nothing.

But the weather is, like, lowest common denominator. But it's also fun when you don't have anything. It is. Because we get to pounce on you. Okay, that's good. Because it's also so against, you're such a preparer. You like being prepared for things. Yes, I do. And so this, I think, takes you outside your. You like being prepared for things. Yes, I do.

And so this, I think, takes you outside your comfort zone. And I like that. Yeah, me too. Well, I was walking down the street. OK, this is boring. And it's nice. I enjoy this neighborhood a lot. A lot of young people, and they shout at me out their windows,

which is nice. And it just kind of makes me feel like, hey, I'm living in a nice little world where people shout out their windows at me. It's usually, you know, drop dead or... Oh, okay. Yeah. Murderer. I get murderer a lot. Did you walk so people will recognize you?

I'm wearing a shirt that says, I am Conan O'Brien. And there's an arrow going up to my head. You have one of those, like, uh, Statue of Liberty tax boards that you just twirl around that says Conan on? I'm a sign flipper. Yeah. I'm a sign flipper.

Spinner. That's right. Uh, did a remote, a sign spi- you know, I'm, have a lot of remotes out there, and over the years people have said, oh, I really like the remotes you do. Not all of them made it. Oh, yeah.

To public viewership. Oh, this one didn't? Yeah, we did a sign spinning remote. See, look, we found something. Don't get excited yet. This is great. But I'm gonna call him out. Matt O'Brien, one of our writers,

I think was on this remote, and he said, oh, this will be great. We got some sign spinners. And he had us shoot it in an empty back lot at Warner Brothers. And I immediately sensed, this is a comedy vacuum. Nothing, there's no one to bounce off of here. There's like a sign spinning guy,

but he's just pretty serious about it. He occasionally made puns about sign spinning and I couldn't do it. And the remote was going nowhere. And then I looked up and I saw vultures circling. Oh no. Why didn't you guys do it on the street? There's a kind of vulture that circles

when it knows a remote is going down. And if you're in my line of business, it strikes terror in your heart. Exactly, why weren't we out in the world? We were on the backlot. So I started just saying things into the lens. Sometimes I think about the writers watching this later in the edit room.

So I say little things like, you did this to me, I'll get you. I'm talking into the future. I know this remote will not get made. I know that this is all going down in flames. So I just start saying, having a good time editing? This isn't gonna make it. I'm literally talking to the writers two days from now

who are gonna be looking at the footage. And so I remember that one. There was that one and then there was another remote where one of the writers thought it'd be really funny if I hooked up with those people that have those shows where they claim they see the paranormal. And they took me through an empty studio. Again, there's a common denominator here.

No other people, open space or enclosed space with nothing in it. And then the person kept saying, I think I maybe see a ghost, but I'm not sure. And me going, I'm trying to make something happen, saying, oh think I maybe see a ghost, but I'm not sure. And me going like, trying to make something happen, saying, oh, not sure, huh, well, echo, echo, echo, echo. Um, it just didn't go anywhere. Those are two, I wake up at night sometimes

thinking about sign spinning remote... Oh, my God. ...and ghost hunting remote. And, uh, I just covered in sweat. Those are the ones that got away. Those are the ones, no, those are the ones that never were there. I see. There was nothing, they didn't get away. Those are the ones, no, those are the ones that never were there.

I see. There was nothing, they didn't get away. There was nothing there to catch in the first place. You know? Sign spinning seems fun. Now you're implying I failed. I don't know. I feel like, it sounds to me like it was all there.

No. And just, you know, you probably just didn't pull your weight. Um. There's puns, there's signs that are spinning. No, you probably just didn't pull your weight. Um... LAUGHS There's puns, there's signs that are spinning. What was he dressed like? Was he dressed like Uncle Sam? I think he was just...

There's a back line. He was just doing it. This is your third Uncle Sam. You gotta dress like Uncle Sam. No, I didn't say Uncle Sam. You said Uncle Sam. And then you said this is your third Uncle Sam. So that's a totally... that is such a shitty thing. You keep mentioning, you keep mentioning scuba diving. No.

And then I'm like, what? Let me explain. Hold on, what? Yeah, yeah, scuba diving, scuba diving. What did you say? Repeat after me, scuba diving. Okay, scuba diving. Ha, you said scuba diving again.

What is it with you and scuba diving? Listen. Matt, you're terrible. You're the worst therapist ever. Worst therapist ever. What's even worse. You sit there with the patient and you keep saying things.

I'm excited. You keep saying things. Also the thing is, This is Matt. What I'm talking about hasn't even come out yet. I know. Oh no, no. There's nine reasons why what you just did

is a shit show. But I'm just picturing you as a therapist. But this Easter egg is gonna pay off for people when they listen to Summer S'mores. And then I will be vindicated and riding high. You're a podcast expert. I think of those things. What order is it? What's been said?

I'm gonna contain it to this episode. You're just always shooting off your mouth left and right. Yeah, well, yeah. That's because I know the listeners with us and I know they can do a memento-like time jump back and forth. This is just a prequel. Okay, this is my impression. Matt Gourley, therapist. So, Conan, I'd like to talk to...

Uh... Bowl of corn, bowl of corn, bowl of corn. Excuse me, Dr. Gourley, what are you saying? Bowl of corn, bowl of corn. Doctor Gourley... Why am I a therapist? Dr. Gourley, why do you keep saying bowl of corn? Conan, you seem obsessed with bowl of corn. Dr. Gorley. Wait, you're doing this? Why am I a therapist? Dr. Gorley, why do you keep saying bowl of corn? Mmm, Conan, you seem obsessed with bowl of corn.

Did your father molest you with a bowl of corn as a child? No, you said it nine times. Well, that's it for my impression of Matt Gorley. This is Conan O'Brien. Therapist, therapist, therapist, therapist. Matt, why do you keep mentioning therapist? Ah, I'll switch rooms. Oh, you know that lingo in comedy.

Oh, good for you. Thank God he's on you. Incredible. What happened? Go back to him. No, go on her. She really took you down. You got to get her.

I am the T-Rex in Jurassic Park. Yes. If I see slight movement, I go to it, and you just stepped out of an outhouse. I know. And you know what what when the glass starts to wiggle It doesn't wiggle it makes little concentric circles concentric we get it, you know words But it does it like it ripples it ripples. Yeah. Yeah concentric. Is that a word? Yeah, my actually my formal name is Concentric O'Brien.

We just shortened it to Conan. I was named, my father's a geometry fan. I was trying to say when you come to the studio, the glasses. That's true. Oh, that's right. You just see it ripple. And then you two jump in the back of an open Jeep and try to escape. Do you remember when Jeff Goldblum was on the podcast and he left holding a big flare

just to get you out of the building? You guys don't really know your Jurassic Park. Oh boy, oh boy, you went a while. No, no, can I just say also you bailed on that as you said it, which is always my favorite thing. And remember when Jeff Goldblum left with a big flare, you guys don't know the reference. Wait, I know the reference.

I saw the look in your eyes. I wasn't laughing, but I know the reference. I saw you smelling blood and I just wanted out I just wanted out You're so scared of me. Matt Gorley, stand up comic. Hey everybody welcome to the show Yeah, the other day, uh, Hobo asked me for a bite to eat so I bit him you know as don't get it you don't like it Why the chicken crossed the road to get to the other side why do people hate me? I don't know why they don't like it. It's because he actually crossed the road. That's not the reason why.

Well, I've demolished you both. Time to introduce our guest. If our guest still wants to be part of this. My guest today starred in such movies as Selma, Lincoln, and The Butler. He deserves better than this dumb intro. Oh, I thought you were laughing because these are the most serious movie titles. I know, because after... And I thought you were like, Selma, ha ha ha, Lincoln,

ha ha ha, the butler. That's what it sounds like. I know, but I'm saying I'm laughing because he's such a serious, good actor, and we're idiots, and I don't know what we're doing. I think you two are idiots, and I portray an idiot. That's the way I look at it. I'm a great thespian who portrays an idiot. Anyway, you can now see him in the Paramount Plus series

Lawmen, Bass Reeves. He is one of the finest actors living. I'm excited he's here today. Again, unless he's left. ["Yellow O's Theme"] David O'Yellow O. ["Yellow O's Theme"] You've been on the show several times on the late night show.

And remember the first time you came on, I was a bit intimidated. Oh. And I'm being honest, because you're such a superb actor and you have such great acting chops. And I just thought, this is a very serious man. And I need to- Gravitas is probably the word you're looking for.

Yes, I know, I know. Although I call it gravitas. And then you came out and you were immediately just so hilarious and charming that- This is a lot of pressure now, Conan. Oh yes, yes. Well, I'm saying it all went away. That was just the first time I met you.

Right, first impression. And then I don't know what happened after that. I know, I know, downhill. You've just been a complete bore. And then I was thinking like, Conan, you've been here before, because I've been lucky enough to talk to some great actors in my day who are also very funny.

I always find it angers me somewhat. It's like, because I think, how can you have both? Like all I've got is I think I'm kind of funny, and then that's my excuse for not being able to act my way out of a paper bag. And here you are, a Shakespearean accomplished actor, and you're one of the funnier people I've talked to. Well, thank you, I appreciate that a lot.

You are a very statuesque man. I mean, even just greeting you just now. I mean, you- That's usually what people say about blonde women in the 1950s. You're also very voluptuous. I'm very voluptuous. That's how I think of you.

Thank you. As a blonde, statuesque woman. Um... Um... But no, you have a certain presence in the gravitas to you. I have a presence, I like to think I do. So you know, you have some intimidation factor

in there as well. I have a presence, but kind of a creepy presence. Wouldn't you say so? A little bit, you know what, and it's... No, no, jump in on right away. I'm a presence, but kind of a creepy presence. Wouldn't you say so? A little bit, you know what? And it's- No, no, jump in on right away. I'm sorry. Wow, you just agreed right away.

You're not only a great actor, but you're funny. And he's like, well, you're tall. Something you had nothing to do with. You're tall and not unwomanlike. Yes. Well, I think we're off on a really good fun. Yes, thank you for the interpretation there. That was beautiful.

So there's so much to talk about, and I wanna talk about your new show, and there's so many things to discuss. First of all, I was nervous for you when I heard that you were going to play Coriolanus. Oh, yes. And I know that you're a Shakespearean trained actor, but I think in my nightmare and you're playing it,

where's the production gonna be done? The National Theater in London. Oh my God. My nightmare would entail being in a Shakespearean play, playing the main role, because my whole life is, I don't know what to do here, so I'll make it up. You can't do that in Coriolanus. You can't start to say, well, anyway,

so what's going on here? Did you see what's in the paper yesterday? You can't, and if you do, I think they're going to turn on you pretty quickly. You know what? I actually have that experience. I did a Shakespeare play at the Royal Shakespeare Company, and I just had one of those moments

where all the lines went out of my head. Oh my. And the weirdest thing, you can make it up actually. Not with much success, but I found my, I just, the words went out of my, and I found myself saying, Sheeps and goats. What role is this?

I literally, it's Anthony and Cleopatra. And sheeps and goats is not something that gives your acting partner anywhere to go. And the blank expression came back. And you know what was so awful that I did? I just exited the stage. Oh. How terrible is that? You screwed them twice.

It's so bad. It is one of the things I'm the stage. Oh. How terrible is that? You screwed them twice. It's so bad. It is one of the things I'm the most ashamed of. I love recreating this because you blank on your lines and you're up there and this is the worst place to butcher Shakespeare. This is the, you're in the- It was in Stratford-upon-Avon at the Royal Shakespeare Company.

The ghost of Shakespeare is there watching. Yeah. And he's there every night just heckling. at the Royal Shakespeare Company. The ghost of Shakespeare is there, watching. Yeah, yeah. And... He's there every night just heckling. And some sheeps and goats. Yeah, but to just, to be there and to shout sheeps and goats and then turn on your heels and stride out. Literally.

Really bad, really bad. Now you have me thinking what Shakespeare's expressions go, what his ghost must have been looking like at that point in going, bloody actors. Yeah, exactly. That's kind of a bad ass move actually. Maybe Shakespeare's like, I should have worked that in. It worked.

Oh, so poetic of me. You have such a fascinating story because you were born in Nigeria, moved to England, but then moved back to Nigeria. Is that what happened? Born in the UK, moved to Nigeria for about six years, then moved back to the UK. Yeah, and yeah, born in Oxford, moved to London,

then to Nigeria, formative years of my life spent in Nigeria from age six to 13, and then born into, you know, an immigrant family, immigrant parents, who, for whom the arts was just not on the docket at all. Because there's the immigrant experience of, you must climb the ladder of legitimacy, and then you're telling them,

I have an idea, I'll put on costumes and pretend to be people. Literally, literally. I remember saying to my dad that I was thinking of being an actor and he said, ah, why do you want to go and be with all these promiscuous court jesters? Oh, would he be proud of you now, right?

This Conan O'Brien. But here I am with the ultimate court jester. That is fantastic that he had that attitude. And if I'm correct, he's royalty. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. His father was the king of a part of Nigeria called Awa. So yeah, the idea of me becoming a promiscuous court jester was very, very, very low on the royal ambitions my family had for me.

So how did you convince them? Was there a turning point where your father looked at you and said, I get it? Yes. And ironically and beautifully, it was tied to royalty yet again. After that season, believe it or not, after I had said Sheeps and Goats, I was invited back to the Royal Shakespeare Company to play Henry VI. In Henry VI, it's parts one, two, and three. On a Saturday, we would perform all three plays in a day.

We would start at 10.30 in the morning and finish at 10.30 at night. Now, my dad, he's no longer with us, but when he was with us, he was someone who quite easily would fall asleep in the middle of a three-minute duologue between actors. You gave him a warm room, a nice comfy seat, and he's out. So my wife was sat next to him on this Saturday, where he was there to watch all 12 hours of Henry VI, part one, two, and three.

She was armed with mints, her shoulder to jab him in the ribs, the whole thing. He stayed awake for the entire thing, and he came on the night that then Prince Charles also came for all the performances. So you're talking about a man who came to the UK in the 60s, dealt with unbelievable racism. The notion of any black person playing the King of England was so impossible. And I remember him coming to the stage door afterwards. And the phrase he said to me is, I cannot believe they allowed a black

man to play the King of England. And it is my son? And that was the moment, that was the turning point. And that's the point beyond which he became my number one fan until his passing. It was a truly beautiful thing. I mean, it's getting all tingly, but just the, I can only imagine, I mean, I can't imagine,

but what your father, what your family encountered I'm getting all tingly, but just the, I can only imagine, I mean, I can't imagine, but what your father, what your family encountered when they come to a very different England in the 60s, and then to see this come about, to see, I just, it's unbelievable. Yeah, it is, and it was, and you know, it's one of the most beautiful things. My dad was a minicab driver in London.

And years after that moment at the Royal Shakespeare Company, I've now moved to LA, and I'm getting to be in movies. And I could always tell when he had a passenger in the car, because he would go, David, are you doing that movie with Tom Cruise? And I would go... I would go, I would go, Daddy, who's in the car?

Ah, nobody's in the car. Uh, have you met Steven Spielberger? I am not making this up. I am not making this up. I am not making this up. The worst. And the background, hey, you missed my house. Exactly. Exactly. Daddy, please focus.

The one that I will never forget is when he goes, David, where is it? You live in LA. Is it Beverly Hills? The one that I will never forget is when he goes, David, where is it you live in LA? Is it Beverly Hills? And I said, Sherman Oaks. Yes, that is it, Beverly Hills. I was like, okay. Sorry, whoever's in the car.

Also, you can imagine the person in the car thinking, what maybe, or I mean, this could be a madman just calling anyone at random. That is exactly what they are thinking. They are thinking, I want a refund. I'm giving this guy the worst review. Because that was exactly how he would scream at me on speakerphone with these poor people

just wanting to get from A to B. What's the pop culture you're growing up with? What are you watching on TV, for example, that's influencing you when you're young? What's hitting you? What's tugging at your strings? Oh, wow. The show I became obsessed with was LA Law. Um, and the reason why is, again, going back to my dad, my dad had three sons, and he wanted a lawyer, a doctor, and an engineer.

Um, and I started to get this acting bug when I was younger, but Blair Underwood played this very snazzy lawyer. Sure, I remember that. In LA Law. And unbeknownst to me, the conflation of the two things was why I was so gravitated to, I gravitated towards that show because I was like,

gosh, I just love TV, I love films, I love the whole idea of storytelling, but my dad wants me to be a lawyer and that guy is both. So I went as far as applying to law school, the whole thing. But I- Just because of Blair Underwood. Because of Blair Underwood. I have told him since and he's horrified. Yeah.

But yeah, that was one of the more influential shows on me. I was flipping through notes on you and then I saw that you were a Happy Days fan. Oh yeah. I thought, Happy Days. Yeah. Were you watching Happy Days when you were in Nigeria? I mean, obviously these are reruns

because you're way too young, but why is that show grabbing you? It was The Fonz. It was all about The Fonz. It was all about Henry Winklin, how cool he was, and, you know, the comb through the hair, the whole thing. But it was also a very traumatic thing for me because I had a little afro, and every time I took the comb to my afro,

it wouldn't go through like it did for him. And many years later, because, you know, obviously he was in this with Ron Howard, and I, Bryce Dallas Howard is a good friend of mine. I was at her wedding, I met Henry Winkle, I was like, oh my gosh, I'm meeting the Fonz. And I said, oh, it was so hard for me because I would always try to imitate the hair,

the comb going through my hair. And he went, ah, I only ever hold it up. I never put it through my hair. He never does put it through. And I went, oh my gosh. All of that pain. And you never actually ran the comb through your hair. I just, I always.

It's true, he starts and then he realizes it's perfect. And he goes, hey, put it in the mirror. And I was like, that would have been so much more achievable for me. So, yeah, I got that all wrong. You went to a, not a military academy, but you were educated. Similar, it might as well have been. Similar military academy. In what way?

Did you have to wear a uniform when you were? Had to wear a uniform. It was very, very regimented. It was a boarding school in Nigeria, incredibly strict. Yeah, and when I talk about it, especially in a Western context, because you will get lashed if you did naughty things, and I was a very naughty boy. Yeah.

But yeah, it was pretty intense. But I was the kid who, you know, I remember for a dare, I... This is so stupid. For a dare, I went in to steal something out of the headmaster's fridge. I got into his house and I'll never forget the silhouette of this guy in the door looking at me with, I'm in his fridge. I didn't want anything out of his fridge.

I just did it for, you know, Browning points. But it was, and he had one of those voices. You know those people who you can barely hear what they're actually saying? Because they are talking like this. And I was just like, and so all I heard was, talking like this. And it's all I heard.

But I spent the next term washing toilets. And it was, and our uniforms were white, which is not the best uniform for doing that job. The closest I have to anything like that was, I was very happy my parents sent me away to a camp and then for some reason, they switched me to another camp the next year and I got there and they issued me a uniform and it had a stripe down the side

and I remember thinking like, what the hell is this? But that's the closest I ever came to feeling like I was in the military. Right. Was wearing- It shows. Thank you. I went to a camp where every,

it was like a camp in every other way, except there was a stripe down the side of the pants. And yet when you're telling your story, I'm like, I've been there, man. Wow. I remember roasting a marshmallow. Wow. And there was a stripe down my pants,

so don't complain to me about your military academy. It's hard, it's hard having a stripe down your pants. I get it, I get it. There's so much to talk about in your film work, but I remember when you came on my late night program for Salma, for your brilliant portrayal of Martin Luther King Jr. And I remember we were talking about it and then realizing later on that you had been kind of method

when you did that role, meaning that you really wanted to inhabit what you did so brilliantly. And I think there's no more difficult task. If you're talking about you playing these Shakespearean figures, if you're playing someone from distant history, you can interpret, but when you're playing someone who lived concurrently with our times, died in 1968,

and there's all this footage, you need to create your interpretation, but it can't, it also needs to ring true. You really felt like you had to inhabit him all the time and be in character. How long did you do that for? also needs to ring true. You really felt like you had to inhabit him all the time and be in character. How long did you do that for? It was three months of the shoot.

And as you can tell, I have an English accent. We were shooting in Atlanta. And the worst thing about being an actor, especially playing that kind of role, is imposter syndrome. You go, well, I am not him, obviously. But you have all these people daily who you feel the need to convince you are him. But the worst thing you can do, I think, as an actor is to be playing that room, in a sense, as opposed to the film, which is what people are ultimately going to see. So if I'm having to convince the crew, the extras, my fellow actors, moment to moment, that's too many things.

It's already, you know, the margins for error are already what they are. So the way to take that out of the equation, I think, is for people to by and large just go, oh, that's not Dr. King, but that's David's version of Dr. King moving around the set. So it's not enrol, camera action, and it's like a switch. It's too much to kind of be constantly doing that switch.

No, for you to be at the craft service table joking around with the crew, and then, okay, put down that pretzel and it's time to... Right. We're going to be Dr. Martin Luther King now. Yeah. It seems like that would be impossible. It's also, you know, I had so many speeches, whether it be in a church, at a rally or whatever,

and there were people there, because of the locations we were shooting, who had been at marches with Dr. King, who had been in churches with Dr. King. I mean, John Lewis visited the set one day and decided to stay for one of my speeches. I was like, dude, that really doesn't help me at all. You're lovely and I love you. Please leave. Um, I, I...

And anytime you do any gesture, I can just picture John Lewis, nope! Wrong! Can you imagine? He was lactose intolerant! Um, anytime you do any gesture, I can just picture John this, nope. Can you imagine? He was lactose intolerant. Didn't like almonds either, put the almonds down. It's too much. It's literally too much. And so the way I oxidize that is to just kind of be in what I would call king light, you know, where it's always there

so that the extras aren't suddenly going, oh, look at that trick he's doing. You know, you're trying to not act is the reality. And the best way to do that is to just be. And so if I'm being all the time, then hopefully that's what the camera's catching. People don't realize that this is, for people in your life, friends,

I would think especially family, if you're trying to maintain a certain persona or inhabit a character for three months, okay, that's one thing on the set, but what happens when you go home? Yeah, it's a nightmare. It's a nightmare, particularly for my wife. At the time we were doing Selma, we had also just moved into a new home.

I remember her calling me to discuss curtain colors. I literally went, well, I think the gray. She went, okay, stop. Stop. I am not discussing, the gray. And she went, OK, stop, stop, stop, stop. I am not discussing curtains with Dr. King. I absolutely, I draw the line there. We will pick this up after the film. Thank you very much.

The other, the other awful thing is I have a dream of Venetian blinds. I know, I know, I know. She's like, stop, stop. Time out, time out. Did you ever ask her to call back as his wife? I should have done that. You should have done that. I should have done that.

No, but what also happened was I put on about 40 pounds to play Dr. King, and, you know, he had, or I should say I had as him what you know can only be described as man boobs. And my wife was incredibly tolerant of this you know I had you know I wasn't in the shape I normally pride myself on being in and the day that this thing wrapped, she came up to me, jiggled my mambos, and said, so what are we doing? What are we doing? I was like, oh my lord. Like, give me a second. I mean, what are we doing here? What are we doing? What are we doing with it? La-ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- But they would have been very good speed backs. But yeah, I was like, okay, I guess my grace period is over.

I will say this though for you, David. At least you had that excuse because I step out of the shower and I can't say, no, I'm playing Orson Welles at the end of his life. Right. Right. Or my skin has been artificially freckled in a most horrifying way, because I'm playing a striped bass in a movie.

There's no way for me to go. It's like, I'm gonna play Conan in the Conan story. You're just stuck. I'm stuck. There is nowhere else to go. How do you relax? How do you, because you are clearly, you know, very professional and capable of really focusing,

what takes you out of all of that? I have a very bizarre way of relaxing, which is to watch mixed martial arts. I am obsessed with UFC. And it's completely weird, but watching two men turn each other's faces into burger meat literally calms me down. And my wife, and the reason I know that is,

because a lot of my Saturday tends to be dedicated to this means of relaxation. My wife cannot bear it. Neither can my daughter. Just how bloody these guys can get. So my wife will watch me watching it in order to spend time with me on a Saturday. And she was like, I'm so tense watching this. Why are you so calm? And I realized what it is, is, you know, in what I do,

because I produce movies and TV shows as well, it is so hard to get anything made. It is so hard to get to the point of a result. Two men or two women go in this cage. They have three five-minute rounds. Someone will win. Someone will get a result out of this endeavor. It will be on the basis.

You're looking at me like I'm crazy. I agree with your wife. For any time I've watched UFC, I've tensed up and it makes me so, it does the opposite of calm me down. So I'm just, I'm shocked. This is how you chill out. But it's on the basis of so much preparation. They do something truly unnatural.

They have to master five, six, seven, eight different disciplines, the amount of training, the amount of the weight cut, all these things they have to do to prepare, which is tantamount to some of what you do as an actor. You prepare, prepare, prepare. Yes, yeah. And as an actor, you don't know what the reviews

are gonna be, you don't know what the box office is gonna be, you don't know if the film is ever gonna come out. There's something so satisfying that within those 15 minutes, if it's a three minute, if it's three rounds or 25 minutes, if it's five rounds, you will have a result. That just puts me in such a zen place.

It's bizarre, but that's how I relax. Did you, when did you discover UFC?? When did you realize this is my drug, this relaxes me? It is like a drug for me. It's probably within the last five to seven years, which is synonymous with when I've done some of the work I'm most proud of from a screen perspective and from a producing perspective. You know, to be a black person in Hollywood, to be a producer in Hollywood, to be someone who has the taste I have when it comes to the kind of stories I want to tell. I'm always trying to color outside of the lines.

I'm always trying to give context to either to unseen, unknown characters, stories. My mantra is how do we normalize the marginalized? And in an industry that is so fear-based, so constantly looking for a comp or what has come before, and you're trying to do something that is, you know, hopefully groundbreaking, it's just, you spend your days in a state of wanting to bash your head against the wall quite a lot of the time.

So this is my- Have you considered participating in a UFC fight? Thankfully I discovered this when I was a bit older. Okay. You have quite a nice face. And I would hate to see anything happen to that face. Yeah, it's not a sport that does well with, not the face, not the face!

So, no. I would be, not the body or face in any way. Not to me, not to me. Yeah, I would enter with a producer. I would enter like with Jeff Ross. Or Surgis. Or Jordan Slansky, right. And they would beat on that person.

I see. Oh, right. And then I would, that person. I see. Oh, right. And then I would, if they, for some reason, won, I would take the credit for it. Yes, you can do the victory lap. You're talking about the marginalized and getting these stories, which is, I mean, it's so difficult.

It's always been difficult to get things made. And we're in this time right now where it's extremely difficult. Yeah. And I have a lot of friends that work in, mostly writers, but work in the industry and less is being made, less is being produced right now. And there is a lot of fear.

Can it be a superhero? Basically, yeah. The story that you wanna tell, can we make it a superhero? And this series that you made, Lawmen, the Bass Reeves, about Bass Reeves is a great story. And you're depicting a real person who,

I can't imagine a character who's more marginalized than this character. This is a story you've been trying to tell for a long time. For a long time, yeah. It was eight years. Eight years. An eight-year journey, yeah. I first encountered the notion of Bass Reaves in 2014. And as someone who was a fan of Westerns growing up,

as I told you, I was a bit of a TV addict, so I loved watching them. I never saw anyone who looked like me in them, but I still wanted to be a cowboy. I didn't even realize that there was an image I was missing in terms of me as a Black person in relation to that beloved genre and that incredible history in America specifically. In 2014, when I found out who Basrius was,

and it felt like a story that writes itself in a sense, in terms of his achievements, like you say, born into enslavement ends up escaping enslavement by beating his master nearly to death and then living with Native Americans for a time, which is where he accrued the skills he used when he was deployed as a deputy U.S. Marshal and went on to have a 32-year career at the most dangerous time in the most dangerous place in America's history. And the only reason we have him is because of the Reconstruction era that came directly after the Civil War, where black people were given the kind of agency that they had never

had before. And that's what enabled him to sort of have the kind of rise whereby can you imagine the whiplash of being enslaved and being treated so poorly by white people and suddenly you are empowered to arrest those a lot of who were disgruntled because you are now no longer a slave but someone who has agency. The very idea that someone who grew up in slavery, a black man who grew up in slavery would be able to hold a gun. Right. Was something that was completely unimaginable.

Let alone then be in charge of enforcing the law. And then have a badge, yeah. And there's this, I was watching, there's this moment where early on in this show, it wasn't clear what your relationship was. You're in battle. And then there's a moment where it very much looks like you're serving alongside this general, this officer.

And then at one point when the battle's over, you start to walk in one direction and he says, where are you going? And you shift your whole tone to this very servile, which was a great moment. You could see you're playing a character who also has to play a character. Exactly.

I don't understand why, because when you hear about the story, and I then went and looked up Bas Reeves, you think, why did this take eight years? This is a fantastic story. Yeah, and more importantly, why did this take the entire advent of cinema and TV before we have a, in my opinion, a show, a film that is commensurate with the show? I mean, he's turned up in shows

as peripheral or tangential, but never central, never with this kind of focus. And when you think about where the Western occupies in the lexicon of cinema and TV, you can only point to one thing, which is racism in relation to why we haven't yet seen this character. Someone who many people believe is the inspiration for the Lone Ranger, in fact, in terms of the exploits that he engaged in and with

and what the Lone Ranger represents in terms of the exploits that he engaged in and with and what the Lone Ranger represents in terms of what we see in those stories. But it's interesting what you talked about there, the code switching that he has to employ in order to survive, something that is very much alive and well for the marginalized in any society nowadays if you wanna get ahead, especially here in America.

But that was what was such a gift to play as an actor, because he was always incredible. It was an opportunity that came along that he seized that allowed him to be the totality of who he could be and who he was, and that was afforded in this country in the 1860s. And the thing that I- And tragically taken away. Tragically taken away with Jim Crow.

Yeah. But it's exactly why it was taken away because people like Basri's were rising to the fore and that was in and of itself a threat. What's amazing is I was thinking about it because in your career, you've played so many roles in different historical periods. And I was thinking you're from the UK and Nigeria

but you may know more American history than most Americans just because of these roles that you're playing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're absolutely right. I, you know, and it's funny, it's 1865 through to the now And it's funny, it's 1865 through to the now. And that was, I had my Daniel Day Lewis moment in Lincoln, playing a unionist soldier opposite him, berating him for spouting the Gettysburg Address,

but not living by its tenants and saying, when are black people going to get the vote? And then in Selma, 19 presidents, a hundred years later in 1965, I'm asking the same thing of Lyndon Johnson, when are black people going to get the vote? And then in the Butler, we go from the 50s through to the 2000s when Obama becomes president.

I play a Tuskegee Airman in Red Tails as well. I was a preacher in the Help. And then you have with Bass Reeves, you know, 1860. So yeah, it's this sort of 150, 160 period in America's formative history that I've been blessed to tell some of those stories. Yeah, you've had an American, I mean, you've had an amazing education in American history, and in a very unusual way. I think a lot of people, maybe they don't, they either don't know it or they forget that right after the Civil War,

there was this moment in Reconstruction where many former slaves are running for office and they're office holders. And it really does look like the promise is being met, and then bang, the door comes down, and it becomes very regressive the other way. Yeah, yeah. And that was one of the reasons I was so passionate

about telling this story, because that is such an incredible moment in this country's history. And for reasons that I'm sure we can guess, that period has not been mined enough. It's actually a shameful period in America's history because it was the opportunity to deliver on the promise of what America wanted or said it wants to be. And then the reneging on that was so extreme with Jim Crow coming in and anyone who was marginalized,

whether it be sharecropping or lynching or all the way through to the civil rights movement, was the next time there was any kind of push towards the kind of agency and justice that was promised by Lincoln. And so it is the moment that birthed Tulsa and that awful situation. But there are African Americans who did extraordinary things in those 12 to 13 years, which I'm just so desirous that we get to see more of that because in many ways, it is a celebration of what America is, could be, should be. And that's why I love doing these historical films, because we are so quick to forget.

I mean, the moment that we're in, in Hollywood right now, is a pendulum swing from the Black Lives Matter movement, the Me Too movement, these moments very recently where there were huge gains made that are now being clawed back, because we just refuse to learn from history and build on the knowledge accrued, which is why, you know, for me, storytelling is not just about entertainment. It's about holding culture and our communal community accountable.

I always go back to the same thought, which is we're a work in progress. Yeah. Yeah. America, the United States, it's a work in progress and you have to acknowledge the terrible mistakes and flaws, you also have to acknowledge the great aspects of the culture, you have to, and you just have to keep going back at it.

Absolutely. Keep going, getting back into the conversation and saying, how can we move the puzzle piece a little bit further? And the pendulum will swing. It'll go right, it'll go left. We just have to keep nudging it along. And, uh...

Absolutely. I always say you cannot be what you cannot see. And you need to see it. You need to see those great moments in order to continue to aspire towards them. And to me, Bas Reeves is a great moment. Not just a great man, but it's a great moment. And it's, you know And to me, Bas Reeves is a great moment, not just a great man, but it's a great moment. And it's, you know, to me, I know it sounds a bit lofty, but it's

a clarion call to how do we keep on finding our way back to our better selves. That's what Selma was for me as well. That's what Queen of Cartway was. That's what a United Kingdom was. That's certainly, you know, the work I'm most proud of. I think that's an element of it, because I agree with you. That's part of how we be better, is to know more. Who were the actors that you were watching when you were seeing cinema, when you were seeing film,

when you were coming along, that you thought, okay, that person is inspiring me. That person's showing me the way. Yeah, I mean, my two big heroes, probably Sidney Poitier, where you thought, okay, that person is inspiring me. That person's showing me the way. Yeah, I mean, my two big heroes, probably Sidney Poincare and Daniel Day-Lewis, my mom's favorite film was Guess Who's Coming to Dinner. So we would watch that time and time again.

And his poise, you know, someone who looked like, I get emotional just thinking about it, but someone who looked like me and had the bearing of my father and my uncles. That was just not something you saw almost at all. Certainly not in films that were universally acclaimed, like in The Heat of the Night as well, which is just a formative piece of cinema for me. But then also just seeing Daniel Day-Lewis in my left foot and just thinking, I simply do not understand how it is possible for an actor to achieve that level of embodiment. When I found out he was able-bodied,

when I heard him speak and he was so opposite to that, it was the moment I determined that as an actor, the thing I want to aspire to be the most is chameleonic. Someone who you roll to roll, you're going, which way is he going to go next? Because that's what I love about Daniel Day-Lewis, that's what I love about Christian Bale, that's what I love about what I get to do,

is I have no interest in playing some kind of version of myself, I always wanna go to the character. Yeah, there's also, there's a, obviously there's a tradition in movies where someone's always playing a version of themselves, and not just Americans, but worldwide, people make room for that and they really like it.

Some of the iconic movie stars are just playing, you almost wanna laugh when they say, well, my character in this, you're like, what do you mean your character in this? I'm sorry, Clint Eastwood, I love you, but you're always, let me guess, you're squinting, you're a man of few words, and you're gonna kick the shit out of somebody

if they wrong you. And we love you for it. And we love you for it. But this idea of that you can shape shift, I don't understand it, it's mystical to me. I'm so glad you used the phrase mystical because this is where you can kind of get into what kind of feels conceited territory.

But to me, you know, in the moment of playing Dr. King or even with Bass Reeves, I remember us shooting on an actual plantation, and it was a plantation where 80 people had been enslaved back in the day. It was an incredibly difficult place to shoot because I kid you not, the ghosts of that fact were present. And the nature of the scenes that we were doing were all the more difficult, all the more true, all the more lived in for that fact.

And there is a kind of exchange that is mystical, spiritual, and it's about how much you're prepared to open yourself up to that in order to be flowed through by the history, by the writing, by the direction, by the other actors, with the audience in mind. What are you, by way of service, offering up to them? And what we do, what I am so privileged to do, is you're constantly in the pursuit of trying to capture lightning in a bottle. And there are certain circumstances under which there is more likelihood for that to happen than others. And it's about an openness. And that openness, you know, if I've done my work, if I am staying to a certain degree in the character, if I'm open to what is

coming at me by way of stimulus, that has been the moments where even now when I watch Selma, I have a complete disconnection from it because I was in a place I almost can't fully quantify or understand because of the alchemy of what was happening in that moment. And that's the joy. That's the benefit of when you're doing it at the highest level with directors like Eva DuVernay and incredible actors around you and great writing. It's a mystical thing.

There's also, you mentioned something that I completely believe in. Of course it makes sense that you go back to a plantation and pick up on this trauma. Do you know what I mean? completely believe in, of course it makes sense that you go back to a plantation and pick up on this trauma, you know what I mean? And that would inform what you're doing. I'm so glad that you've talked about this because it's one of the tricky things

as a producer you face when you're trying to tell a true story and you go, oh yeah, there's a good tax break in Canada. And you go, actually with this story, I think we've got to fight to be in the place. And every time it has yielded intangible, but indisputable benefits. You know, we had that, we shot on the Edmund Pettus bridge for Selma. We were there. We were on the Montgomery state house steps where Dr. King gave that

speech. And I, it's going to sound so crazy, but that morning of giving that speech, the FBI had told him, you will be assassinated if you do that speech. There's, it's too open. We have no way to protect you. And he chose to give that speech anyway. And I woke up with this just overwhelming sense that I was going to be that speech anyway. And I woke up with this just overwhelming sense that I was going to be assassinated that day. I know it doesn't fully make sense, but it wasn't till the end of that day where we had shot the scene and it was done. I found myself going, gosh, I'm still alive. And it was to do with being in that place. We shot the United Kingdom in Botswana. They wanted us to shoot it in South Africa. There was

a completely different vibe from being there. Same thing with Queen of Cartway, shooting it in Cartway. There is energy that you pick up, finds its way onto the celluloid, finds its way through the screen, into the audience. And at the end of the day, the true job of a storyteller is the pursuit of the truth. And the audience can feel when they are getting a watered down version of that. And you come out just going, the film was okay. You're not necessarily saying it wasn't true or, but when you have been served up something

that feels truly authentic, it speaks to the human being in you, which is why the best films we love, you have a protagonist that you can tether yourself to and you go, I am relating to this character. I am working out what I would do in this scenario. That's because they are a three dimensional, believable human being that you can relate to.

I'm invested in them too. That's it. I'm invested in them. I really care what happens to this person. That can only happen if it's true. If it feels true to what it is to be a human being. Well, I could talk to you for 50 hours. I seriously could.

Likewise. And the delightful thing, there are many delightful things about you, but the fact that we started out, there's so much just laughing, just really good natured humor, and then we get to this other place that's really beautiful.

That's my favorite kind of podcast conversation. And just, I shouldn't even say podcast conversation, that's my favorite kind of conversation. It really means a lot to me. So go forth, continue to do great things. Thank you. And I am just a massive fan, you're welcome here anytime. Oh, I appreciate it.

And if you see a really good part for me as a producer. A statuesque blonde. Wrap it up. You could have ended it. You could have ended it. I'm just saying. You could have ended it.

I sort of a later in life Marilyn, just before the end. Oh, wrap it. I can see you being a great incompetent senator. I can see that in Coriolanus. I'm there. Fabulous. I am there that in Coriolanus. I'm there. Fabulous. I am there.

And trust me. Trust me, your production, I don't think you've done it. And you know what? Bring it down. You know what I love? David would be recommending me to every other Shakespeare producer in London. As a strategic ploy.

And they'd be like, well, how come you don't? How come you don't? No, no, no, I think he's better for you. He's gonna be fantastic. His reviews raged. Yeah, and all the other ones. Exactly, I feel, yes, mission accomplished. We took him down.

Conan O'Brien has ruined yet another Shakespearean play. David, bless you. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you, this was great. Thank you so much. We're actually recording a segment when we did not expect to do one. That's right. And so we have no idea for a segment.

We just sat around trying to think about what to talk about. We really did. Let's just dive in. We spent about 30 seconds and then you said, let's just dive in. Yeah. Because you guys seem to be allergic to thinking about anything beforehand. We spent about 30 seconds, and then you said, let's just dive in. Yeah. Because you guys seemed to be allergic to thinking

about anything beforehand. Yes, our guest, who will not be named, has been delayed. And so we thought, let's get some work done. Right. So we're here. Let me describe the scene. Oh, right. You can watch this on these nice, high-def cameras.

So there goes that whole idea. Do you guys ever look at the camera when you're saying anything? Because you, especially, you know, late night TV, you were always looking down the camera barrel. Yeah. You know what's funny? And this is a true story. Maybe a week ago, I went into a store and it had the security camera that has the big screen where you can look at yourself. And I started walking backwards and forwards to the security screen. Oh, my God. And I was just having fun the way I did when I was a kid.

And then I remembered. I do this, I did this for a living for 9,000 hours. Yes. And I'm like, look, there's me there, but here's me here. What is wrong with you? I know, it was very sad, but I really did that. But I don't understand, most people just listen,

they don't watch. Or is it half and half? Yeah, Adam, let us know. Adam, maybe you can break it down for us. And don't be afraid to approach what we in the business call the microphone. Still more people listen than watch. I think that's good.

But we do have clips that go out on video that will sometimes get up as high as our podcast episodes. Like, actually, recently, the Dr. Arroyo. Oh my God. He was so funny. Like that did huge numbers. Yeah. Separately when you broke down your experience on Hot Ones, that did huge numbers on video.

Right. But typically the podcast audio episodes is where we get as far out. I like to act like no one can see what we're doing. It feels like anything referencing Hot Ones does well, so why don't we just talk about Hot Ones all the time? There's a whole generation that thinks I'm a guy who came out of nowhere, did Hot Ones, and now I'm trying to cobble together a career based on Hot Ones.

If we start to, like, lose listeners, we could turn this into a Hot Ones rewatch podcast. Yeah. Right. Good idea. Or else just occasionally say, ah, man, that's a crazy thing that happened to me. And then, Sonya, you could say, what are you talking about, Boston?

You could say, oh, no one would care. Just a really insane behind the scenes in Hot Ones story that nobody knows about. Or we could start making the guests eat chicken wings that get increasingly more spicy. Right. And then when the Hot Ones people come after us say, this in no way has anything to do. Yes. How dare you?

And then we'll get a black tablecloth and you'll shave your head. I'll shave my head. We'll call it scorching ones. Uh, uh, yeah. Temperate, warm ones. Temperate, warm, no, warm ones. Oh, we're going warm? Yeah. We're going cooler than hot. Oh. Oh yes thank you. This one's better than the Conan one. This is the latest one with Chris Hemsworth. Oh they started a new season. Okay and how'd it go? Anyone watch it yet? I'm it's Chris Hemsworth. Oh, they started a new season. Mm-hmm. Okay, and how'd it go? Anyone watch it yet? I'm... It's Chris Hemsworth, so I think...

I think it's going very well. But... Because it's Chris Hemsworth. You know, that's the thing. Look what I had to do to get the viewer interested. Yeah. I had to destroy my intestinal tract, okay? But then Chris Hemsworth can just be there and smile.

And- Oh, look they're having fun. Sorry, are you still here? Yeah, we're kind of busy right now. I hate it here. You're still here? I hate it here. I'm sorry, I thought you left.

I was cursed with this puss. God gave me this face and there's, you can turn that off now. I mean, it's ridiculous. No, you can leave it on. No, no, no, turn it off for now. Conan O'Brien is cursed with this puss. LAUGHS Can I just say when I was born,

the doctor held me up to my mom and she said, oh my God, what happened to his puss? Which is how people talked back then. Is that a true story? No. Because my mom cried when she saw my face. What? What? Yeah, she thought I was a really ugly baby.

I'm not joking, because my nose was crooked, too. Even so, who told you this? My mom did. Whoa! She did. Oh, that's not cool. Now, a lot of babies get sort of smushed on the way out. I got smushed.

Yeah. And I was smushed. And then it takes a while for things to pop back. I don't know if pop back is like the right way to describe it. Well, how long was your nose smushed for until you were... It's still a little crooked. It's not like normal. My nose is not normal. But it was like really crooked. And I saw the first picture that they take, you know, they take the first picture of you in the hospital and I was like,

ugh, I get it. My baby picture is horrifying. It's just horrifying. And I just have this, what looks like copper wiring on my head. Oh. And I was the only one in my family of six kids that had this copper-colored hair. And it was just a freak show. Yeah, I was very, my, I asked my mom once, and she said, you are a fat little Buddha with orange hair.

And I was like, OK. She said it like that? She said, a fat little Buddha with orange hair. And then she gets all happy when she talks about my brothers and sisters. Oh, that's your mom's way of saying you were not the cutest baby. And unloved.

And, but you knew that. I did know that, which always helps. Um, thanks. Hey, thanks, good friend. But, no, it gave me this drive to overcome. No, it didn't. Yeah, it did. Sure, it did. No, it didn't.

It always goes back. There's a rosebud somewhere, and mine is my mom saying, you fat little booner with orange hair. Your rosebud is your cursed puss. Yes, my cursed puss. Yeah. Yeah. It's just, look, I got a face for radio.

Let's put it that way. Come on, man. No. And, oh, good defense, Sona.ona. You didn't come up with one thing. Oh, this part of you looks good, this part of you... You just went, oh! No! Let me tell you something. For years, people have said, hey, you're real funny.

Too bad about your puss! I get that all the time. You've never gotten that. And you know what? It's not fair to talk about this after we saw Chris Hemsworth. Because he is a freak. Like, he is just like a huge... I know, I'd hate to look like that.

I know. Awful. To go through life like that, that's a perfect puss. That's a perfect... and it's not just the puss, it's the whole package. Also, I'll tell you something else. What a charming fellow. I know, that's the other thing. Yeah, god damn it. And he also seems kind of funny, you know?

He seems like he's got the whole thing. That's where I get mad. Adam's really nodding. He is funny. Because of Thor. He's funny in Thor. No, he's a very funny actor. He's got the whole package. I bet his Hot Ones is hysterical.

Well, it probably is. It's not important. I'm not a competitive person. I'm someone who's just happy that my Hot Ones was considered the greatest of all time. That's all by virtually every periodical. Um, now, uh, let's move on. Can I, I'm sorry, just to, for my mom's sake, she doesn't think I'm ugly now.

I felt like I made her a bad mom because she was like, you were an ugly baby. But I actually appreciated the honesty instead of her just being like, you were precious. There's no reason to be honest at that point. That's just, that's something you're supposed to be honest about. What do you know?

You don't have to be honest. It's like, okay, mom, you know, you were going through a lot. You just gave birth and you had an ugly baby and you were sad about it. That's okay. Yeah, but maybe she smooshed you a bit on the way out. She smooshed me? Well, she is, you had to pass through your mother

and so maybe she smooshed you. How? Please, explain. Contracted, maybe gave you a little smoosh-a-roo. So maybe it's her fault. She did it on purpose? Yeah, maybe she felt you coming out and she said, tell me when the face is coming out.

And then they said the face now and she went, I smoosh you. She is a cursed. And then they said, the face now. And she went, I smush you. She is a cursed puss. I smush her face. Your mother timed it. Your mother timed it and then did what? What are they, hagel crunches? Kegels.

I thought they were named after Dr. Hagel. No. Whatever. There's hagel crunches and kegels. Kegel exercise. OK. So anyway, your mother was like, just tell me when face come out so I can give her hard time for first 15 years.

Oh, the accent. It's so insulting. But also very accurate. But tell me, doctor, tell me when face come out and I do Kegel. And then the doctor's like, okay, if you want, and the face is out now, I swush you. Oh my God. Oh my God.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. What is wrong with you? Oh. What is wrong with you? She's got dizzy.

Oh no. I just laughed so hard that the blood went out of my head. You know, to come full circle. I slush you! Who says that to their baby as it's coming out of the vaginal canal? I'm giving a look to the camera like, WRAP WRAP.

To come full circle, you look at that camera and you apologize to America right now. AMERICA! I SMUSH YOU! And my mom. You know you did, Nadia. YOU SMASH HER! She's beautiful now, but all those years of unsmushing. The operations.

The procedures. Just tell me when face pass through. Okay, that's unusual we don't... I SMUSH YOU! All right, I need a drink and I need some pills immediately. I went too far. I love your mom. Love you, Nadja, but you know what you did.

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