Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Flula Borg Returns

Episode Date: November 20, 2023

Conan O’Brien feels okay about being Flula Borg’s friend. Flula sits down with Conan once again to discuss his special healthy diet, what confuses him about America, and what kind of family he wants. Plus, Conan answers voicemails from none other than Flula himself. For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com.Got a question for Conan? Call our voicemail: [phone].

Can I short-circuit this a little bit? Please. Everyone does this all the time. I really want to know what you have to say about this question. Do li bao li bao li bao li bao? You mean how do I feel about you being my friend? My name is Conan. Oh, I see. Do li bao li bao li bao li bao, blam. My name is Conan O'Brien and I...

Blam, blam, blam, blam, blam, blam. And I feel, you know... Brian and I... B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B- Snash the by Pansnudibu Bim bim bambamsnudi taribu Shli Bipiskantanshnud samppudibu Shli Hey there, welcome to Conan O'Brien needs a friend Joined as always by Sonom obsessedian How are you Sonom?

I'm alright, y'all, I'm alright Okay, nice, okay Okay Right, okay, it's weird Matt, girl, how are you? I'm okay, but I'm worried about someone. Yeah, what is that? Yeah, I was, because if I say a one word answer,

it's like not enough. So I thought I'd, you juz it up a little. Oh, that's you juzzing it up? Yeah. That's with juz. How is it, if every time the podcast started,

I was like, hey, Conan, how are you doing? I'm doing really well. Thank you very much. Okay. Appreciate it. I really, Kona, how are you doing? I'm doing really well. Thank you very much. Okay. Appreciate it. I really do appreciate it. Why are you not going to be that court? You have a very complex, powerful, sophisticated,

microphone inches from your mouth and you're constantly yelling. Is that Eduardo? Is her volume an issue? No, I would be honest. I'm being honest. He's married to an Armenian girl. So, you know, he knows what's up. So is this an Armenian thing? I have the filter on. Yes.

No. No. This is the, you guys speak very loudly to each other in your house. Yes, we do. Now you've got me all, now you've got me all. Can't even do it. You can't even do it. You can't even whisper.

You know, it'd be so funny if you were in any kind of job that required you to whisper and you couldn't do it like wearing You guys they welcome to the library Hey welcome to the neo-natal ward Now we do try to use softer voices here I'm telling people to be quiet and I can't do it. You can't do it Now we do try to use softer places here. I'm telling people to be quiet and I can't do it. You can't do it. Okay, I'm also leaning into the mic.

I don't need to do that. No, you don't. I'm surprised at Wardo. I'm always looking over at Wardo and thinking that small fires are breaking out on his control board. Because, I mean, that is a lot. Well, you're pretty loud too.

In fact, I've got my headphones turned down really low to the point where it's mostly like a mix of the outside sound and then both of you because you yell a lot too. Okay. The term we like to use, Conan, you're very dynamic. Okay. I think I have a great performance energy that has been a hallmark of my career. And so I love a real performance energy.

It's real hallmark of my career. Yeah. Well, you got me pretty good. You got me pretty good. No, no, and you know what? To be fair, that was pretty good. Yeah. You took me down a night.

I'm dynamic. I didn't see that coming. I didn't see that character coming. But I mean, do you, when you've put your, your children to sleep, is it a problem? Do you, when you then lean in and go, no, no, guys, is it a problem? Are you, you're not asking for reels? No, I'm having fun. Yeah, I know you are.

Yeah, yeah, no, I might, I'm a loud person. I can't help. How do you say, how do you say good night to them? Kishat Patti. Oh, come on. What? That's a learn. What do you mean?

I want them to be able to get jobs in America. They're going to learn good night. Now they're going to be bilingual. It's cool. When are you going to be bilingual? When are you going to teach them? What's the one you say? Kishat Patti.

Okay, but when are you going to teach them, when are they going to learn goodnight? They learn goodnight from shit they watch. The TV they watch. You let them watch shit? Yeah, they watch shit. What do they watching? I mean, like they learn English, but you know, we, we mostly speak to them Armenian and then they watch TV and stuff. Right. Yeah. So they know, what are they watching? They watching kids shows or do you have them watching? What are they watching? They watch like their favorite movies right? My neighbor Totoro and the fantastic Mr. Fox and Ratatouille and Nemo are like what's what's up in our house? That's what's happening. That's what's up. Yeah, I'm trying to get them into the iron giant, but they're just like scared of the robot. Oh my come on.

Scared of the robot. Come on grow a pair Tells their little boys to grow a pair first of all they need to grow two pair They don't eat get one testicle Hey guys grow a pair what? We only get one Don't speak English Or you'll get a beaten Don't speak English! Or you'll get a beaten look. All right.

All right. Well, we just got a peek into your world. Did no one speak gay like in your house? Yes. All Irish people speak gay like. I don't know. I don't know. I don't even honestly know what gay like sounds like.

Is it Irish old, Irish just called Irish, right? Am I wrong? Is Gaelic Scottish? No, Gaelic is, is, yeah, it's an old, it's not bad, I look like a fool. No, you have to keep that in. No, I don't, I'm the other one. I'm the other one. He's a standard.

Yeah, but no, you gotta keep that in. No, Gaelic is the old, you know, language of that island, of that particular island. Does your family speak Gaelic? Of course not. We, sorry. The only way that the only Irish thing about us of that island, of that particular island. Does your family speak illiterate? Of course not. Are we? Sorry. The only way that the only Irish thing about us

is that I grew up hearing a lot of Jesus, Mary and Joseph, and Jesus Christ, Jesus Mary and Joseph, it was constantly the response to everything. Yeah. And I think that that's, I thought that that was a Catholic thing. And then I knew that when I first started working with Robert Smigel, he'd be like, oh, Jesus Christ, what are we going to do? And I'm like, oh, okay. Jewish people say Jesus.

Yeah, everyone. I think it's something that a lot of people say. Yeah, I didn't realize. I thought it was just Catholics that said that. It's all behind us, my guest today. Friend of mine, traveled to Germany with me for an episode of Conan Without Borders. You know, I'm from such movies and shows as pitch perfect too. Trolls World Tour and Curb Ear Enthusiasm. I do love this man. I really do. He's hilarious.

He's wonderful. And he's a really good fellow and delightfully funny. I'm excited to talk to him today. Fula Borg, welcome. You're the full of fools. The greatest fool of all time. You bring me constant joy and you're an tonic. I bring you, this is like, they must have this in Germany or in Austria, some sort of hot, is it a vodka?

No, it's like a hot bath you sit in or a, some kind of a, oh, you want to say a salmon word, say it. A sauna, a schlice and a house. Yeah, they're the same. They do sit in and it's a tonic, right? Yeah. You just soak it up, you ingested it,

it comes into the enters into all of your pores and then you just want to shake. Yes, yes. So that is what you are for me. Oh, because whenever you're around, I'm instantly happy. I came in, I was in a bad mood today. I saw it, yes, I saw.

Yeah, I was thinking, I gotta go, you know, the world's in bad shape. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, oh my God, look at this body I've been cursed with. Oh, stop it Conan. It's on fire, it's delicious. So many lippers. I meant, I meant it's a curse to have this body.

I agree, everyone's like, why not me? Men want to be me, women want to be with me. Be it with me. Yes. I agree, everyone's like, why not me? Men want to be me, women want to be with me. Be it with us. Uh, and, uh, so I was depressed and feeling the burden of all that. And then I remember, oh, flu is on today. He exists. And I was so happy because you make me happy. Thank you, as well, Conan.

You make me also happy. And I'm saying to you, also, you're welcome for not having to play the Czech-Wite music as I provided it for you with my mouth. That's right. I think from now on, we would save a lot of money if we didn't play the Honsnudibu bim bim bambamsnudi taribu Shli Bipis kantanshnud samppudibu Shli Sorry Jack

Oh, you just actually gonna cost us more money Because now there's an extra usage of the music in the album Oh right, because we're UCAP Because you're using the same tune That's the problem you German fool. I apologize. No, what we need to do is change the lyrics and the tune. Club and schlied, live and glad.

Yeah, groben schlied, schlied, gein, dond, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, schlied, So see that, no one, there's no way in court anyone's gonna say that that's we are gonna be friends. No, that's Conan O'Brien, part I'd find.

That's very good. One of the great marching tunes of all time. Everyone, all the Susa's love that. Papa Susa, Mama Susa, Daddy Susa, of course. Yes, but not cousin Susa. Oh my God, you missed out. What? A couple of weeks ago sitting in the very chair, you're sitting in now.

Arnold Schwarzenegger, stop. Why did you not notify me via telegram? Well, I sent you a sausage gram. Oh, I never received My neighbor Charles always eats those No, he was sitting in the very chair and it's so funny because I would think he'd be one of your heroes Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's my carbohydrates fitness protein. No, yes, go, Ali. And Werner Herzog was here as well. At the same time, they was sitting there. No, no, no, no. Yes, he Herzog sat on Schwarzenegger's lap and acted like his ventriloquist dummy.

Oh, okay. So Arnold was saying things like value seems to be pretty happy today, Werner. And then the little, he worked his mouth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As if he were a dummy, but he was real. And Werner was going, it is very good to be here. The bear has brought madness into society. And it was just a really fun routine.

How did they control each other's mandibles? Where were the hands? You don't want to know. I think Arnold had his hand right up Werner Herzog's ass. Oh, is it the anus? Yeah, yeah, that's the most natural pose. Yes, it's fine. You don't have to go to anus. We can say, okay.

My point is, visit. That we've had these, we've had these gentlemen here who are, are beloved fixtures in your culture. That's very true. Yes, both of those guys are legends. Yeah. And now you complete the trifecta.

Oh, it's the three of us. Yeah, we can make it if we try. Well, I'm just saying there's Schwarzenegger, there's Herzog and then there's Borrag. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The expendable Deutsche Version. Brought to you by Porsche. In Naturlesch.

The greatest machine. Hello. I wanna let our listeners know that you and I have been friends for a long time. It's absolutely accurate. You would come on my show and bring me absolute delight. You would have been friends for a long time. It's absolutely accurate. You would come on my show and bring me absolute delight. You would make me laugh like a school child. I love the school children giggle a lot.

Yes, they giggle. I was a little, you would, you would reduce me to a little Bavarian schoolboy chuckling as I, as I licked my Mars a pan. I knew you would say Marcy Pob. I knew you. And I was so happy when you're on the, and then when you come on the podcast, you just bring me, you bring me absolute joy, like I've just had a brisk walk in my leather shorts in the Alps. Oh, that's like a, like a, like a Lipton iced tea poured

over your eyebrows. Well, okay, that's just stupid. Yeah, yeah. Welcome to me, coming. Welcome to you. Yeah. How have you been? First of all, I did embrace you. You did deeply. I'm not always. You are made of pure mahogany. You must work out constantly. Lots of pledge being sprayed all over my shoulders. No, no, I didn't mean you're being waxed down

like mahogany. I mean, you are rock hard. Oh, you're okay. No, no, no, I didn't mean anything dirty or sexual. Oh, I know that you're still impotent, but absolutely saying your shoulders, your lats, your pecs. I just, it was like hugging an arm-war like an awkward Lego. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Conan, I'm bored. Have you heard of boredom? Yes, I have. Yeah, yeah. So when this occurs, I just take things that weigh more than me and I put them up and down and up and down, up and down and up and down. Yeah. The gravity. Yes. And so you,

you do a lot of working out. I know you have a trainer. We've talked about this before. I've trained a Paulo. His Italian. I don't understand him. He doesn't understand me. It's a very confusing United Nations. Well, the important thing is you and your Italian trainer. Yes. Get along. What we do. And is he really responsible for you being in this shape? Absolutely, I'm an idiot, Conan, as you have learned. I don't know what to ingest and what to out just. I heard that you also like bicycles. I like bicycles, yes.

Yes, I like to look at them. I don't like to, I've never gotten on one. Is this a fact? No, it's a lie. I was making what we in America call a joke. I think you call it a lubbing. Yeah, lubbing, yeah. So I, no, I like to ride a bicycle, I do. Yes. Great. Just like the queen song.

Yeah. Yes. I like to, just like the queen song. Yes. I like to get on a bicycle. And I like to ride it. Oh, yes. Uh, a friend of mine, yes. Shout out to my friend Brad, Brad, no one's ever had a bad day on a bicycle. And he, it's right. I'm always happy when I'm running a bicycle. What about the people that have been inadvertently struck by trucks? Oh, yes. He did say, I mean, I remember Brad saying this, with the exception of those who've been killed

riding a bike. He did say that. It's a small exception, but other than this Brad Pitt, it was Brad Pitt, correct? Yeah, I don't like to get it out there that I ride regularly with Brad Pitt. Yes, yes. But I ride regularly with Brad Pitt. Yes, yes. But I ride regularly with Brad Pitt.

Wow, yes, yes. Yeah, not just a couple of us. A couple of us triple A-listers, you've heard of A-listers. Brad Pitt, Leo DiCaprio, your Conan O'Brien, your, your, your, your,

Eve Plum. Oh, from? Well, she was on the original Brady Bunch. Oh, wonderful. I just said original, like there was been another one. Has the been a reboot? No, there was not a reboot. It's the only thing they haven't rebooted.

Oh, no, they made a movie. Yeah, they made a couple movies. Yeah. Anyway, what I'm saying is, someone like me who's in the highest, highest, highest echelons of celebrity hood. Single digit IMDB. Yes. I just, when I start to, when I start to ride my bicycle, other triple A celebrities

show up alongside me. It's like forest comp, except you're riding a bicycle and the people following also celebrities. Yes. Thank you. Thank you. That's a very good image. That's exactly what it's right.

Are you wearing a shirt that says, have a nice day? No, I'm not. No, you took it too far. That was far enough. Yeah. What is your diet like? Because you're one of the healthiest men I know. This morning, what did you have?

I had some chicken, and then also some mashy potatoes. And all this is, why do you call them mashy potatoes? What do you, what do you name those? We call them mashy mashy marshmashis. Well, see, it's more, I would say efficient. As a German, we just say mashy potatoes. As opposed to mashy mashy mashy mash potatoes. Okay, which is more, I would say efficient as a German, we just say mashy potatoes as opposed to mashy, mashy, mashy, mashy potatoes. Okay. Which is, we just call that, oh, I was, I was pulling your leg. Stop it. Mm hmm. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

down boys. No, we just say mash potatoes here. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Have you heard of the song mash potato by the Wiggles? No, I haven't. I haven't. Potato Mash Potato. No, my children are grown. So I haven't listened to the Wiggles in a very long time. Adults can also listen to the Wiggles. There's actually a warning on the label that says no.

Oh, I didn't know. For anyone over four. I don't follow those. You'll go into a blind rage. Just start hitting bicycles. So you get up in the morning. I'm going to hear about your brish man. Oh, I wake up, I ingest calories. You, so you get up in the morning, I wanna hear about your freshmen. Oh, I wake up, I ingest calories.

I move very quickly, I ingest more calories. I think about Conan O'Brien, W-W-C-B-D, what would Conan O'Brien do? And then I do those things. Okay, so I know you've been a huge fan of mine for a long time. A very large fan, I once wrote a song about you and Andy called Conan D.

Oh, really? I did. You did or you didn't? I did, You did or you didn't? I did. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. And how does that song go?

Can I hear any of this? I need to clear it with what's it called, Cabass? Ask Cab. Yeah. And then I will send it to you. But you wrote it. Yes. But now we have to pay more money to flula, I think.

We have to pay more money. I refuse money. I don't work for dollars. We're here. I can pay it in biscuits. Biscuits? Little biscuits? Yeah, have you had both jangles in North Carolina? A chain that sells very delicious southern biscuits?

Okay, it's just biscuit. It's not biscuit. It's just biscuit. There's a U inside this, Conan. Yes, I know, but we call it a silent U. Are you that has been bullied into silence? I will never be silent. Okay.

So you get up in the morning, you eat, I think it's chicken. Yes, no biscuits. No biscuits. You don't eat any carbs. Who does that? Well, I'll eat carbs all the time. I eat them sometimes, but when I have a photo shoot with a Paolo Machiti coming up, then I cannot eat those carbohydrates.

Right. See, yes. You know, I have to tell you, you put out a calendar. I do a family year. A year. A FlulaBorks calendar. Yes. And they're available, I believe, online, to tell you you put out a calendar. I do a fair. A year at Flula Borks calendar. And they're available, I believe, online, but you always send me one. And you always find a way to be, I would say shirtless for most months. Nipples are exposed even like December, January, February, shirtless, extra hot.

Yeah. No, no, I can, I use the nipples come out of the calendar and I hang my shirts on. Oh, you can also use them to squeeze lemons. Yes. And adjust your radio dial. If you have some radio, yes, serious. My point is you send, you're very proud of your body. Are you not?

No. What? Is this self-loathing? Because some people that have a body like yours are very self-loathing. Listen, you have a delicious voice. And so you use it to make dollars and to make many, many podcasts.

I have a body that someone gave to me. I have zero credit. So I have to use, I have to utilize it. I have to prostitute myself. OK. How is your love life going, Flula? It's non-existent. I once stated a whole note, a techno whole note. A what? A techno whole note? Whole note? Whole note, a full beats of music. You dated four beats of music. Yes. Oh, by the way, I will send you my Flallander, my next one. Oh, thank you very much. Of course. Yes, I treasure them. That's right. I want to hear more about this whole note. Yeah. If you want. Thank you very much. Yes, I treasure them. I want to hear more about this whole note.

Yeah, yeah. Thank you, Mr. Gourley. This is, this is a, you have, that's exactly, you always get me off track, but Matt's here to say, wait a minute, let's double down. Return to the, it's Gourley? Gourley. Oh, I know there's a you in there.

Yeah, why is that you once again? It would be Gourley. Gourley. Go for it. Matthew Gourley. I'll take it. Okay, great. Mattias Gourley. Mattias Gourley. I'm a Tias. Yes, it. Matthew Gawali. I'll take it. Okay, great. Matthias Gawali.

Matthias Gawali. Yes, all the ones and twos. Yeah. So you dated a whole note. Yes. Explain how that works. We established a romantic connection and then we lasted for four measures and then I said I'm going to go home.

And then I moved on. What was it? Oh, I see what you're saying. Yes, an E-flat. Third position on the trombone. Yes. I could have warned you against an E-flat. Okay, you are a monastic.

You are celibate. I'm Halloween's not Abelod, correct? So what do you do for fun? After your workout, what do you do? What does Fula Borg do? I like to do Clim Tugue, which are push ups, and then I also like to make jogging. Have you ever made jogging?

I just said after your workout, after your workout you do push ups and jogging, that's not after your workout. Oh, you have never followed David Goggins on Instagram. Stay hot, Conan. Oh, okay. So you do even after your workout, you do more exercise.

I do minor workouts. Yes. Okay. Yes. What do you do when you're not working out? That's, I guess, the right question. Oh, I like to sleep also, like to look at the sky and also at other items in the world. Okay. So looking at sky, have you noticed anything about the sky recently? It contains clouds on occasion and other on times other occasions has no clouds. Okay. Yeah. Cumin low, yeah. Cumin low, nimbleness clouds. Waiting to slow down and I will send this to scientific American. And all is good to know. Neal digress ties and also strato cumulus cumulo nimbleness, also very nice clouds.

Sirus, a little too wavy for my taste. Oh, okay. So you're a cloud critic, as they say. Sometimes. Yes. Okay. And then you notice other objects. What objects have you been noticing lately? I've noticed your delicious smile and wonderful haircut, Cullin' O'Brien. Well, you know, I, I, looks,

a lot of people are in love with my hair. Yes. How do you style it? Do you wake up and it is like this? Or is there a man and or a woman that arranges it? No one else does it. I figured this out myself a long time ago. I use various oils and resins, plus a little bit of mayonnaise.

Oh, and then I work it in there and then I cook it in a little kiln that just bakes my hair. For 40 minutes, 40. Yes. Helmines are craft. Well, I don't like to name... Helmines. Thank you. Yes, sponsor shout out.

No, it's definitely Helmines' daughter. It's obviously Helmines. You really want whole eggs in there. But then I get this delicious pastry on top of my head. It seems to give people delight. And so it's a small price for me to pay to give other people joy. It sounds like a large price,

depending on the amounts of mayonnaise and croissants you purchase. It's true. But, you know, I do it. I also think I may be do it to draw attention away from parts of my body that maybe I'm not thrilled with. Speak to me. Well, I'm just saying I have beady little rat eyes.

That's incorrect. Look, it is true. Look, look'm just saying I have beady little rat eyes. That's incorrect. Look, it is true. Look, look at me looking around. Beady little rat eyes. Delicious. I've got this. I've got this eye vein under my eye. And then I've got these thin lips. Like what happened? What's what happened to that guy? Did he? Did he chew on a grenade to save his regiment? And his lips blew off? You so yes, and so band of brothers. Yes, and so we hate to tell you what happened to me. Your lips are gone.

No! And so I think the hair is a way to draw people away from my features that I'm not as proud of. Very confusing, you are a beautiful man. I love all of the items you have described in a fully platonic non-sexual way. Oh, well, maybe we can nudge that over to sexual. Let's give it a try.

One set was walking in the neighborhood where we make this podcast, and I heard someone shout out a window, as fans sometimes do, and. And I looked at a proper and I, yeah, exactly. And get a real job. And so glad you're off television. I get that a lot. I some will shout at me. And then I heard someone shout at me out of window. And I looked around.

I couldn't see who it was. And then I get a text and Flula said, that was me that just shouted out you at the window. I said, hello, sorry for screaming. It's me, your friend Flula Bork. Good to see you. Yeah, but it all came out this. I don't, I don't know.

You know, it's that Doppler effect. The Doppler effect. You were going by so quickly. Oh yeah, Doppler plus Deutsche unintelligible. Yes. So it was nice of you to yell out at me. Thank you. Did you have, I thought you had a baggy of delicious calories.

Is that accurate? I'm not, probably not accurate. I don't think I walk around much with food. And if I did have some food, I'd probably make David Harping hold it. Oh, David, David is still alive. Well, yes, despite my best efforts. He's been kept alive.

He's been kept alive. Oh, wonderful. With these, he's on a saline drip. Yeah. It's keeping him alive right now. Oh, excellent. Like in seven. Yeah, I say hello.

Oh, perfect. Thanks. Bringing Brad Pitt back. I like it. Well, my bicycle power. Yeah. Okay, so I. I like it. Wow. My bicycle pal. Yeah. Okay, so I'm getting this image of your life, but you're also very enterprising. You've been in movies, you've been in television. Yes. You're always on the go. You're always.

Flula is slowly but surely taking over the world. Yes. Well, as a German, that's illegal, and I would never admit to this. I have taken what I meant. I didn't mean to imply anything. I'm saying you are invading. You are invading media. With your you are. I'm suddenly gathering stamps on my passport fully legally and with everyone's consent. You are blitzkrieging hard with your talent. I am just very subtly showing up with a cake and a smile. A massive air show of talent. No, no, no, no, you are daintily prancing around. Now, I had the pleasure of going to Berlin with you. Remember when we were in Berlin together?

I remember this, yes, I did not see it. And this was fascinating for me because I got to see you in your home environment. And I noticed that a lot of the German people are very comfortable with nudity. Oh, very much, yes. And you seemed very comfortable with nudity too. I'm also German, so I am part of this Venn diagram. You have just described. Now, I, as, for example, not comfortable with my nudity at any time.

You did not enjoy having your penis exposed on the beach. No, I wear a full-on formal tuxedo when I take a shower. But you, you on the other hand, I noticed very comfortable with it. Have you tried that here in the States and what's the reaction then? Oh, exposing my genitalia and covering. I don't mean just genitalia, but I mean letting your body be free of all clothing. Have you been nude in America and how has that gone over for you? It has gone in awkward ways.

I tried to, have you seen the show Austin Powers and the murder mystery man? Oh, I don't know the name, international murder, international man of mystery. Yeah. In the beginnings, the credit, he's always like turning around. Oh, maybe we will see his P P, but no, it's a broccoli. And then he turns around and he's like, what is that? Oh, it's a, it's an M1 Abrams tank or something. And so this is how I tried to present it to myself in America, because I know everyone is terrified of nudity here.

Okay. Why don't they're terrified of nudity here. Okay. Why don't love their terrified of it, but it can be inappropriate quickly. I'm told you bordered American Airlines flight completely nude. That's the kind of thing that's not cool. I was wearing flip flops. Oh. So it's inaccurate. Okay.

Well, the news accounts I read did not mention the flip flops. Well, you didn't read deep enough or they are terrible reporters. Okay. Well, this was the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal. These are fine papers. Oh, Nicholas Christoff. Okay. Okay.

Not just that. He apparently was sitting in the row opposite you. Yeah. Well, we've done no longer on speaking terms. Okay. You were friends until you boarded his flight. Until I just heard this news of my flip flops being omitted. In general, you're doing well.

Life is good. Oh, I am absolutely terrible, Conan. Why? Well, the world is on fire. Oh, everyone. Everyone will always say that. Really? Mathematically, no one that is now alive will be alive in 222 years.

Oh, my God. I didn't realize that. I just think about this. I made all these plans. I know. So now you have to execute those plans immediately. Do it all tomorrow. You know, don't wait.

What they say. Wait tomorrow. And it's too late for today to make it. So you should have it. You should do it now. I can't believe that hasn't been a poster. I think Benjamin Franklin, no? Yeah, Benjamin Franklin as he was stroking out said that. Don't put to tomorrow what today can be done the other day.

So if you go forward and another day and then please relax my stove and there's some lightning. There's a storm coming. Someone put a tie a key to a kite. Tie a key and make me an omelet. Let me ask you something. How familiar are you with American history? Are you? Do you consider yourself? I mean, you've come to this country. We welcome you. Thank you. Open arms as America does. Come to this country, we welcome you with open arms as America does. Sometimes, but do you consider yourself an American citizen? Now, do you think you're comfortable in these ways? I am very confused every time about everything,

but I'm also very excited. I love to learn. I'm not a sponge. You can just dump things into me, Calmoun. You don't dump things into a sponge. A sponge sort of goes over there. It's an inaccurate metaphor.

Yeah, and you added a U to the sponge. Yeah, I'm sorry about Gowaly. Oh, see, Jesus. I took, you, you and added it to a sponge. So I'm Gowaly again. Okay, it's Gowaly and sponge. All right, okay, so. Wonderful tag team protective show. Yeah, Gowaly and sponge.

They took a U from Gowaly and added it to sponge. Yeah, so it's Gowaly and sponge. Better than that, it must have been. It's a U. You, uh, whenever I'm done speaking to you, I'm very stupid. It's also, also, and you know, so you don't get smarter. We're speaking to myself. Never.

No, no, to me, when I'm done speaking to you, I'm very dumb always. I'm going to go home. I'll probably have to be driven home because I'm not safe to drive after speaking to because I'm so stupid. Yes, I got it. So, uh, Conan, when other people speak to me, it's like, you know, people like, oh, you should have your teapot open

and ready to receive more tea. But I have to drop the top is on. What? So if you put, I don't understand at all. Imagine a submarine. Yeah. How do we get to a submarine? Imagine how many liquids and waters

and airs enter a submarine. Yes. That is my brain when we speak. Okay, very good. Yes. I'm going to change the topic. Okay. To your topic I was trying to talk about. Which is you and America.

What about this country confuses you? A lot of this, there's much driving. Not much. Do you have a burp? Is that a thought? I just burped. Oh, okay. I just quietly burped. I'm drinking a lot of water and I just burped into the little microphone. But you also leaned up a bit.

So I did not want you to, I wanted you to see that I was burping. But that was purely burped, that was not a two-tperch. I can't do the both at the same time. I'd be in the almond act if I could do that. It's a flurp. What's that? A flot and a blurp. Okay.

Now I'm so stupid my heart's not beating. You've just taken me down to baseline activities that are run by the cortex are gone. Yes, you're in the seventh level of the Titanic. You're just shoveling that coal, but no, no cuisines are being cooked. You, do you like America? It is very enjoyable to me. I feel very lucky. I have received a career thanks to you and also other Americans who have employed me.

So feel done and thank you, Conan. Christopher, is it correct? Oh, Brian. Conan, erläuft mich. Vielen Dank. Und danke, Kronen. Christopher, ist es korrekt? Oh, Brian. Kronen, Christopher, Brian, ist mein Name. Ja, ich gucke dir. Oh, du hast. Ja. Ja, du bist komitien und also erhost.

Oh, hohost. Ja. Du hast auch, sag, ghost? Ja, ghost. Ghost, ein Host. Ghost. Ja, ja, ja, ja, ja. Geist.

Geist ist like your spirits. In this space. In this space. In this space. Geil ist das like your spirits. Das ist ein Gespenst. Das ist ein actuales Mal. Kannst du dir Sprachen auf Deutsch? Wenn du willst, darfst du mal klar. So, roter Kopf kann nicht wischdem. Ja, da versteht nichts. Ja, überhaupt nichts.

Okay, guys, guys. Ja. Ich fühle, wie ich mich auf die UN. Was ist hier? Wir müssen, dass du das nicht mehr verstanden hast. Oh, sehr schön. Das ist wirklich ein real hospitaler. Das war nicht nett.

Sorry, Bangladesh. Ja. Jetzt, wie viel German du spielst? Neuer ein bisschen Deutsch. Ein bisschen. Nicht sehr gut. Kleben, Kleben. Ich bin auch gehofft.

Also nicht verschatten. Nein. Nicht für Stehen sie nicht. Oh, ein Kleben. Schau da. Klar. Es ist unkret ein Dundafrade, wenn man das direkt ein ist oder der BMW oder der BMW in der Stadt. Ekt storren die Ehrde,

Falki, Faldor. Ja, und das ist gradionstärkt, Big-Dotter, Widensthörnerstleck. Ja, wenn du wirklich willst, macht mir das auf jeden Fall. Das ist wirklich schön. Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kleben, Kle mash. You know what? I don't think we can even, I don't think we can put ads on this episode because no one's listening in the world. No, no, I think we have to talk contact all the advertisers and say you don't have a face to money out this episode because absolutely nothing is happening. I'm on here. This is for sure. Because absolutely nothing is happening.

I'm very sorry, Conan. I know this is our first, but this will be our last time. This is the last. This can't happen again. I'm being signaled right now by, oh, Jesus, Jesus Christ. He's back. He's looking through a window saying no more of these. Oh, wonderful.

He's spoken to you. Oh, yeah. I regularly. Great. Congratulations. Well, I am the chosen. I look forward to reading your book. I want things for you. Oh, yeah. I regularly. Yes. Great. Congratulations. Well, I am the chosen. I look for to reading your book. I want things for you. Me as well. I want you to enjoy your time here and I want you somebody maybe to have a family. Do you think that's possible? I'll have a musical family. I've maybe a family of animals, animals. Would you ever trust me with children? Can you

imagine me with babies? I think you'd be a great dad. Yeah. Oh, you know what I, get a family with children? Can you imagine me with babies? I think you'd be a great dad. Yeah. Oh, you know what I did as a matter of fact. I know you've mentioned this before. Save to me. But I gave you once for fun when we were on tour together. I gave you an American girl doll.

Yeah. And you, I thought it was just for fun. I gave you one. Thank you. And I thought that would be it. And this tour lasted a while and you bought a baby holder. Baby, baby, beyond. Baby, no relation to Fula.

Yeah. You bought a baby Bjorn and you took care of this baby beautifully. Thank you. You brought the baby everywhere. And I thought he'd be a great dad. Well, I'm very good with an inanimate object with legs and arms that cannot be poop or be fed. OK. All right. But an actual live being, I'm very good with an inanimate object with legs and arms that cannot pee, pee, poo, poo or be fed. Okay. All right. But an actual live being I would comment would say be very careful about it. Yes.

Would you be tempted if you had seven children to make them sing, you know, and they before they went to bed at night? Yeah, I would if I had seven children I would be tempted to say, hey, I be right back. I'm running some errands everyone. had seven children, I would be tempted to say, hey, I be right back. I'm running some errands, everyone. Oh, and then you take off. Yeah. I think I think the minute they heard you say that, they'd know you're not going to know how to run and does not understand the word errands. Conan, you have offspring. Yeah, I do.

Do you plan on more five to six more of these offspring? Well, I'm, I think think I think now you're very very well. I know I am. Yeah, I think that's understood when you just hear the podcast delicious voice my sexual exploits are legendary. Oh, no, I think I have two children and they're beautiful and I love them and I think you know, I'm very happy in my in my marriage. So no, I think that's it. I think that's it for me, you know, I'm very happy in my marriage. So no, I think that's it. I think that's it for me, you know? Oh, okay. I think that's it.

So I think there'll be no more Conan children. What finality? Okay. No, I just say, I mean, I love these two kids. And that's enough for you. Yeah. So you're not like Constantine or Alexander, you don't need to conquer.

And some ways I am. Oh, yeah, a conqueror, a legendary figure whose name will resonate through history. Yes. Reverberate, if you will. I will do it. But no, I will, I will, I will be happy to, if you had a child, I would adopt it.

You would adopt it, my child? Yeah. If you have a child and you want to take care of it, I will adopt it. I will commence with the procreation process. Well, what a man. You know how to get a lady in the bed. Yes, yes.

We will now commence. Yes, now it happens. Yes. Yeah, play the fight call. Yes. now it happens. Yeah, play the Fyco. Yes. What are you hitting the clubs much recently? I don't hit any of the clubs at all. I am doing a not off nighttime playing of music by myself.

And then I also played trombone in the mornings to awaken my neighbors and also the world. And that goes over well with them? No. OK. I wouldn't think it was. No, I just received many complaints, but a glissando, there's no better way to work up Conan than with a glissando. Very nice.

Did you, that's a sliding of the trombone as you play a toot? Toot. You play a toot. Yeah, you are a musical maestro. Thank you. Give us a toot. Do you have you ever been in an Oompa band? No, I have observed Oompa bands. I have been in Schuplatler band before where I, yes, I Schuplatler and the Oompa Zompa and then we will join. Schuplatlers when you slap yourself. Well, it's more slap other people as well.

Yeah, that was slapping. Yes, that was chimpanzee as you did, but there will be other items that you will slap like buttocks and also knees and also toes. It's like that song. Yeah, it's an it's an crazy crazy. I got to do it with Andy Richter once. There's a remote you can see online. We're Andy Richter and I a shoe plowler. It's one of my favorite remotes we ever did because it's out of it's insane. You were there for that. I observed it. You observed it. It was absolute madness. It was the most German people observing you with absolute humanity. They refused to giggle or laugh at anything you know. No, and I loved it. It's one of my look it up.

It's online. Go check that out. I saw you be excited at people not enjoying you. Oh, that's my favorite thing. Yeah. When people aren't enjoying me, there's a there's a delight. I feel when some people describe going towards the light when they die and they feel this peace and this calm and they know they're going towards their loved ones. That's how I feel when people when I'm going too far in one direction and people around me don't like it. I'm in Nirvana. I'm as happy as I can be. I feel this as well when I do things Conan why I don't understand this but it is a delicious time. It's like oh everything everyone thinks this is terrible but I don't understand this but it is a delicious time it's like oh everything

everyone thinks this is terrible but I'm still enjoying this snack. Yes and I love sometimes that oh this is we are born alone and we die alone and this is this moment this pure moment where I'm on stage in front of all these people and I'm so delighted with myself, no one's following me on this, and I don't know how to describe it, but I feel effervescent. Yeah, this is a metaphor for my entire life, and I'm very excited about this. Conan, do you find that this is more fun or less fun than we people are like giggling and laughing and clapping at you, which feeling is- I always hear laughter and giggling in my head. Oh, it's your- so right now I'm killing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. When I order in a restaurant, I hear huge applause when you hit order on the postmates. Oh, I'm like, whoa, standing ovation. Seven minutes Chicago theater 10% tip. 8% is as high as I will go. It's the most. Yeah, single dicks. Yeah, I keep it in the singles. I have to say, yeah, yeah, yeah, Yeah, single digs. Yeah, I keep it in the singles. I have what? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I this whole. Oh, chip a lot. Why? What's the point of that? Exactly. Why do we do it? What? What?

That's a good improv partner. Yes, yes. Yes, yes. Why do we do it? Yes, I am. Let's play a quick improv game right now. Yes, and okay. What's right right now? Well, this is pretty hard work, isn't it, Joe? Oh, that's right, Johnson. I am also hurting from my back and also hips. Oh, man, I can't believe we have to dig so many holes. Oh,

this, this, this, this is so sad. Look at this hole. It's not deep enough. Yeah. Well, time to fill it with marshmallow because this is marshmallow university. I thought that was a terrific improv. Oh, is that it? Well, okay. We'll keep going. Yes, yes. I sure love it here at Marshmallow University. Me as well. Good thing we have enough chocolate. Otherwise, we would be making some less's. Some what? Smoor is lessers. Lessor. I didn't know what lessor was. It's some less's a joke to compare with smoss. Did you get that? Did you get that?

Did you get that? Did you get that? One, two, three, four. I declare some one. Stop it. Stop it. And a pinky piece. I won't have it.

I will not have it. I agree. I thought that was terrible. I agree with you, couple. You just blew up the improv. And of course, gowily goes with you have it. I will not have it. I agree. I thought that was terrible. I agree with you. Come on. You just blew up the improv and of course, Gowley goes with you on it. Yes, but my inside brain was also laughing. Um, I think you and I work very well together. We did some improv on stage and then when I would do Q&A with the audience, you would run around with the microphone. And my favorite thing is you would trip or bump into someone and say shit in German, which is, Shysa, Shysa, Shysa, until you'd be or bump into someone and say shit in German, which is,

Shysa, Shysa, Shysa. Until you'd be running around the microphone and you'd be going, Shysa, Shysa, Shysa. That's a lot of shits. That made me laugh really hard. It was accurate. Yeah. I was receiving a lot of pinches.

People are pinching, you know, like pinch me if this is a real thing happening. So I received lots of pinches. A lot of, would you say people were coming on to you? I don't really know how to read these things. Like someone attracted to me as usually if someone's giving you a pinch where where on your body? It was usually buttec region and also between the buttecs. Well that is someone actually molesting you that's someone molesting you.

Tant. Tant. No it's the taint. Taint, tant, tant is, that's just wrong. Tant is, tant is, that's just, don't ever say tant again. Tant is the weird, it just sounds so wrong. Because already the taint is the in-between of something so that tant feels like even more in the- I don't even talk about it. You know what, you're not allowed to talk about it.

Gowily. The tant is inside the tant, you're saying. Okay, don't, don't, I'm not saying it. I'm from all, I'm all lying this word. I love it. No more tunts. I'm but at this. Yes, okay. Yeah, no more tunt Okay, so tunt freeze-own okay taints only in this in this in this yard You know my favorite musical is tell me more tunt misbehaving Listen, yes, do you know what my favorite baseball hit is? What's that?

A tunt. Oh, yes. Of course, it's really the bun. Yeah. It's one they hit the ball very slowly. Worst and pro ever. This is terrible. Whatever.

Do you follow American sports? I love that you hated this. Yes. I follow it. I like your basketball, your hoops and your swishers. You love basketball. Yes. And I made your dream come true once. You did.

You let me meet a very nice man named Charles Barkley. Yes, I was, we were in a bar together. We were, yeah. And we were in Atlanta. Yeah. And suddenly I hear a gentleman call my name, and it's none other than one of the great basketball players all the time. Round of all time. Yes.

Yes. Charles Barkley. And I happen to know that you were a massive fan of the 1980s NBA. Oh, yes. Because that's all you could see on VHS tape. Tate to lay. When you were living in Germany. Yeah, up to 93. So the last thing I saw was the Suns Bulls finals featuring a Charles Barkley, a Dan Mollie, Michael Chauden, and a Scotty Pippen. Right. And then you had no knowledge of anything that happened in the world after that.

Oh, it's like that Will Smith, Men and Black pen Men and Black pen was just show to my face in 1994. Yeah. So you knew nothing. No. So I remember bringing you over and introducing you to Charles Barkley. And you, you were just filled with wondrous joy. Yes, Giggled. He didn't understand a word you said.

Zero words. He did not make eye contact with me. He could see the excitement was too high for just a meeting of a man. Also, the Fanny pack, I think, was a great thing. You were wearing a really bizarre European Fanny pack. Sparkles. And you got nervous and you went into, I think, complete German. I did.

And I also misremembered. He went to Alburn, but I said, alabama. And this is a big no-no. Yeah. You pissed him off, but he was a gentleman. He was a real gentleman about it. Yes pissed him off, but he was a gentleman. He was a real gentleman about it. Yes.

And he gave me and security a signal. And then we got you out of there. You carried me away. I felt like I had won a championship. That was nice. Yes. Thank you again, Conan for this. I've still yet to repay you for this.

Please, I, you know, maybe someday you'll introduce me to one of my heroes. And please list those heroes for me now. All you'll need is a mirror. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh how many subscribers? Yeah. It says right here, we just lost, that's moving number. No, no, no, we just lost the better help people. Oh, we lost Casper mattresses. What about Zip Recruida? Ziprained duo, Lingos.

You can do a Lingos and Babel one in. Babel and Rosetta Stone. Rosetta Stone wants in. Listen, all of them want people to learn how to speak correct, Jeremy. LAUGHTER So when you're winning, yeah. This is very exciting.

Yeah. Do you do a big plans for the coming year, you know? Yes, I plan to go on tour and learn how comedy functions. And then I would prepare a 60 minute presentation of it. So you're going to go on tour to learn how comedy works. You know how they say, if you want to land on the ground, jump out of a plane and then build your parachute. Okay. I am going to, here's what I'm going to do.

I'm going to sign you up for a six week course where they teach you... Please. ...common aphorisms. Yes. Okay. And you can learn them. You can learn because you don't seem to know the simple things. You know, like you have to cherish those. The journey of a thousand miles starts with a...

With shoes, hopefully, if it's that long. When life gives you lemons, make... I'll throw those away and purchase limes, as they are better. More, more, more. I help me here. I gotta come up with more. A stitch in time is worth 42 cents. I help me here. I gotta come up with more. A stitch in time is worth 42 cents. Okay.

When it first you don't succeed, Oh, give it up immediately. The early bird gets probably eaten by the even earlier bird. Yes, who is usually larger. Yeah, the larger birds usually get up early. Larger birds, and they lie on the ground with their mouths open. Waiting. Yeah, and then they just, yeah, they wait for the early bird.

To land and then get to chewed. Yeah. You are, like I say, you're like a vacuum. Do you feel that your intelligence is dropping? In a way, I feel like my mind is expanding. Oh, I love that. No, I agree. My mind is expanding, but my brain is shrinking.

That's what happened to us. I'm going getting bigger. Right. I'm losing book smarts, but I'm gaining cosmic awareness. Yeah, yeah, I'm like Neil the lassie Tyson Okay, you get it Yes, a reference to a canine who is less intelligent than a scientist But you know what you're gonna have to do a full of several things defecate Probably sleep. Yes. And also, also, also, before you take this comedy tour, you must learn as a comedian,

you're not supposed to say, get it over and over. You know, every time you make a joke, you shouldn't say, get it. How do you not know if you need to, you just have to hope they get it. And if they don't, it's too bad. But you can't keep saying, get. So I would say like, but up, oh, look at those donuts. I hope you get it. But if you didn't get it, that's true. Now, don I will say like, but up, oh, look at those donuts. I hope you get it. But if you didn't get it, that's true.

Don't even say that. Don't bring up the concept of getting it or not. Just be confident. Oh, that's all. Okay. That's a very fun lesson to teach to me. Thank you, Coden. I'll listen.

Some people call me an icon space cowboy, space cowboy gangster of gangster of love. Yes. You've got some of the reasons down. You love American music. Don't you? I love music and Americans make a lot of love. You got some of the abrasives down. Yeah. You love American music, don't you? I love music and Americans make a lot of it. Okay. A lot. You make it American just make a lot. You're not under it. Yeah. Oh, sorry. It's just I've seen a lot of indictments these days. Yes, I love all the music. I love American music very much. Hall and Oats is very nice. Yeah. They were terrific. Yeah. Technotronic is also very fun. Snap exclamation point, I got the power.

That's an old one. You like some old music. I hope the power. But that's what is that like 25 years old? It's really nice. So your creature really of the early 90s. I think so because we just didn't receive many things after this. I just kind of turned my brains off and just kept absorbing the same things. I feel like you got all the pop culture you needed, probably between 1986 and 1994. Yeah, that's right. And then you said, that's all I need.

Yeah. And you didn't... No, 1994 Dream Team 2, and then you move on. And then now I've watched Game of Thrones six times in a row. And this is the fullness of my experience. So you think friends is a show that was on for one season? I've watched Game of Thrones six times in a row and this is the this is the fullness of my experience. So you think friends is a show that was on for one season. I assume friends is a thing I would love to have some of.

Okay. All right. Yeah. Um, I am. Do you have questions for Flula? I mean, I'm opening the floor. I mean, I, I guess I just have maybe more advice. To me?

Yeah. Oh, I would love this. No, not to give you advice. I'm about to get a vice. Oh, okay. I just I just feel like you've kind of got it figured out in sort of cosmic way. Do you have? I would disagree only on his his clothing choices. I don't always agree with. Flula today is trash. What are you wearing? You're wearing a fleece that has oh and you have duct tape duct tape on your green pants.

Yes. And these are like chroma key green. You could do green screen on. Yeah, that's like you like, it's like you took a weatherman set and like a reverse ikabot crane. Yeah. And then you've got a fanny pack that,

you have a fanny pack that's very strange. Is that a well-called? And you will not remember this as you have gifted so many things to so many people, which is to include this you gave During the comic con of 2018 I joined you and we ate donuts and you gave me several fanny packs That's very nice of me. It was Oh, thank you very much and I very much appreciate this. I didn't even realize I gave that to you

You're dead. I'm gonna see it like a more elegant fanny pack That's a nice one. You know, and I was gonna say that's, because you have some bad fanny packs. I'm just gonna be honest. Oh, very awesome. Like they have tigers on them and stuff. And that's actually quite tasteful and nice.

This is very nice. Yes, I very much agree with you. And I'm very grateful to you, Conan, once more. Thank you. All right, you're being very formal about this. We didn't just sign a peace treaty. It's okay. Sorry, I look.

Okay. All right. Now I'm all sign a peace treaty. It's okay. Sorry. I'll look. Okay. All right. I'm on the drives. Um, Conan. Yes. I'm wanting to make 60 minutes of Ha Ha. And I'm going to tour around the country. I would like one more piece of advice before you delete and format the hard drives of this podcast. Well, that wouldn't be me. That would be Gower. Gower Lee. Gower Lee. Okay. This is one of my favorites. Uh, I, um, I think it's important for you to maybe get outside because you spend so much time working out that I don't think your, you know,

comedy's all about observations. You know, you look at Seinfeld, you look around, you know, look at that guy, what's he doing? You know, that kind of thing. I've been noticed when you go to, you know, what you want to do is you want to notice things and say, hey, I mean, notice when, you know, the other day I was out over there, you know,

buying ice cream pop over at the ice cream store. And then I noticed this, don't you know, I hate it when they do blank and blank. And then the audience is like, oh my God, he's just like me. I don't think you can do that. No. Because you don't go outside. You're just inside working out out listening to music from 1991. Yeah. I just like, don't you hate it when they play songs from 1997? That's your opening bit. Well, I'm attempting. Yeah. You can't do, you can't do observational humor. If you haven't

gone outside, you're an apartment. So if you're a strange German man and you're inside your apartment, lifting weights and occasionally blowing into a horn, you're not going to be able to do good observational comedy. You know what I'm saying? I will now go outside, we have plenty of the screens, and just observe things, and then say what I have observed to people who are sitting in chairs. Yeah, try and try and make it like a joke don't just say, you know, I was if you noticed when you go outside, you know, there's the barking meter and it actually you put the money in it for two minutes then you get a you get. It's got to be a real observation. Oh, I thought, okay, that was

yeah, it was just describing the barking meter does. And then you say you got observation. Oh, I thought, okay, that was, yeah. It was just describing the parking meter does. And then you say you get it. No, don't say you get it. Don't say you get it. I'm very excited. Conan, I feel prepared. I see an intense outline of questions

that you guys wanted to ask me. What does, I don't think we got to any of it. You know, it's so funny. Usually I have notes here about things to talk about, but with you, I think that's a waste of time. So I threw the notes away. I do us what? Yes, I, I, I, what is there?

I mean, it's ridiculous. Why would I, why would I look at notes to talk to Flula board? Or just the purpose. Yeah. What is the purpose? Yeah. You know, I agree. I don't know.

Would be right back after these massages. No, we're not having, we're not getting massages. And we're not getting, do you ever get massages It's not the way I receive no it's not a pleasure to me. It's not a pleasure to have your body rubbed. No, no I like a light tickle as if a feather has perhaps you know again from for his gumbo do do do do do and it lands on your leg I like this Okay, how many times have you watched for its god 14? 14 times. Last year. Oh, last year. The Forrest Gump soundtrack, b-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o Okay, don't. Okay. Yep. All right.

What are you doing tonight? Would you and I ever go out together, the two of us? Do you go outside and enjoy things in the evening? Well, that's an insulting question. Of course I do. Oh, it is a curious question. Don't I look like a man in the world? Yes, of course.

Don't I look like I get outside a lot? You are six, five, six, nine with the hair. Yes, of course. Okay, so, yes, I go outside. I like to go to a restaurant occasionally. I would try new restaurants. I would enjoy your outside in a place where clubbing is occurring or dancing or also staring.

Okay. Do you like sushi? Yes. Yeah, I enjoy sushi. I enjoy other things also. Okay. Matt, golly, do you enjoy sushi? I love sushi.

Great. I'm trying to incorporate everyone into this. Oh, thank you. I think we should go with everybody. Adam, do you like sushi? I don't know. Eduardo, don't care for it. Does't like it? Then it's not, then it, we can't happen. If Eduardo, I mean, sorry, that's how I,

that's how I roll. If Eduardo can't be there, I need to bring everybody here. Just hate such a unanimous. Really? You don't like sushi? I just, I did something about the texture of the texture. The texture is the best part. That's why you like butter. It's like fantastic. Maybe I haven't had the right one. My one you recommend there one you recommend? Yes, it's,

mm. F**k sushi. See you there. I love f**k sushi. I do too. It's with a pH, okay? It's right around the corner from Tunt Center. F**k.

The Tunt Center for Humanitarian Causes. It's just a wonderful, wonderful. Oh, I'm gonna make that my cause. You know, like, please donate money to the Tunt Center. Tunt Center, yes. That's gonna be mine. Wherever you want, I will be there. You'll be there for the, for Tunt Center? Yes, I will cut all those ribbons.

Okay, give me no ribbons at the Tunt Center. Why not? Just, yeah. Okay, but, I did. That's, oh, that's my improv style. It's just when I don't have something to go. Yeah, I like that. Yeah, I do it just well.

Um, I hope you're not deported. I think you will be soon. Oh, it's a matter of just a few days. No, I honestly think when this hits, oh, the government's going to be on you immediately. Why is this man here? I wrote a techno song when I was first deported. So I would just write a second one. That's how you do it. Okay. And how do you keep getting back into the country? Because you've been deported several times. I am, I know I may look as this, but I am very flexible.

I mean, I can see you've just FedEx yourself into the country. You're here. You FedEx. You're mainly DHLs, I'll just be on brand. Do you have any projects that are coming up that I can promote? Do you have any? Oh, sure. I inadvertently forgot to remove the lens caps from an entire sitcom and recorded an

entire season of this. It's called Flula Makes Five. And so now we've turned it into a podcast. I hired my cousin Heinz to run the camera season idiot. So we have eight episodes of a full length sitcom called Flula Makes Five. The premise is I am living in the basement of a house and a family of four does not read the fine print and purchase the house. So Flula makes five is Alf meets Mr. Belvedere. Okay, that sounds...

What's the word dreadful? It sounds dreadful. Oh, dreadful. You love Game of Thrones. Ramsey Bolton. Yes. Oh, he tortured Rick. I guess he sure did.

That's where he did it. Yeah, that's where he did it. Oh, all right. Why don't we say goodbye to Flula? Okay. Flula. Bye bye. I can't say it's been a pleasure.

I don't know what it's been. But I do honestly love it when you walk through the door. Also, USW, thank you for the deep hugs. It's nice to meet everyone. And hello, Matt. Oh, yeah. I get it. Very good. Maybe just a quick hello to America too. Hello, I'm Elias. Thank yeah, I get it. Very good.

Maybe just a quick hello to America too. Hello, I'm Elias. Thank you very much for not deportating me. I look forward to several days inside your borders. Okay, very good. Full of work everyone. Bye bye. Hey, boss, do you want to take a voice mail or two? Well, actually, this is awkward.

Yeah, I noticed something. Flula hasn't left. Oh, usually when the interviews over Flula, you know, people hang out. No, they have things to do. They're big stars. Oh, and they say, you know, I've got to go. Oh, no. You did this last time too.

I don't know if you remember. I remember this. I've done this podcast before. You've done this podcast before. And you didn't leave then either. Oh, I wonder if it's... So, have you have... I mean, you must have something you've got to do right now.

Not in this moment. In about two to three hours, I will need to urinate and then also have a snack. Do you schedule everything in your life? Yes, it's all on my timers. So you don't even go by bladder pressure. No, no, no, I have a pomodoro, do you know the pomodoro effect? No. You set a timer every 28 minutes and then it's when you do a new thing. So, what do you think? What do you mean? Well, in 28 minutes, will we be finished at that moment? Yes, definitely. Then I will return to my automobile and then I will stare at the sky. Aval mentioned a callback. Okay. Listen, I'm just saying that what you're doing right now is

probably not great for your career. You get it though? Did you get it? No, I don't even listen to you anymore. I don't listen to you. I just look at your powerful mandibles and your fears, wolf-like eyes, I don't listen to you. I just look at your powerful mandibles, sorry, and your fears, wolf-like eyes, and listen to your voice. Thank you. Yeah. It sounds like a chocolate maker yelling at me. And what I'm trying to say is that it creates a good impression when I say, okay, thanks a lot for being here. Yes. President Obama. And then he has to get up and go because everyone imagines him having big things to do. I think Ben is such a rush. Thank you so much, Jane Fonda, and she gets up and she runs out because she's Jane Fonda. She has a lot to do. Yes.

You, by sticking around, or like a fungus. You're creating this illusion, and maybe it's not an illusion, that you really have nothing to do. No, it's an illusion of staying power, of consistency, of always there can't stop one stop. You know 1960s Celtics. You know what I mean? Wow. Okay. Yes. Well, we were all just thinking about the 1960 Celtics. Yeah. Shout out to Drew Heinsen. You know, you're making my brothers very happy right now.

Oh, nice. Yeah. Hey, Red Hourback, huh? Oh, nice. Are they mass holes? Hourback, huh? Oh, nice. Are they mass holes? Okay. Yes. I was recently taught this word. Okay. Yes, they are.

Okay, our mass holes, my brother. Oh, nice. Great. Have you been to Boston? Yes. I've been to Boston. I've been to where you from? It's just Boston.

It's not Boston. Boston, Boston. Yeah. Yeah. It's, did you like it there? I did like it very much. I enjoyed it. I like to uh, the fleet of center was very enjoyable to see and you are from Boston right outside. A Brookline Massachusetts. Oh, I thought that's the ton of Massachusetts. It's not the ton of

Massachusetts. It's a lovely little town that's right on the Boston line. You can walk into Boston in seconds or if you get in trouble, you can quickly leave Boston, and get into Brooklyn. Yeah, in the next episode. So out, I used to do that a lot when I get in trouble. Oh, cute. Yeah, back in the day. I was quite a naughty boy.

I like it. What did you do? I'd stay late at the library. Sometimes I'd take out a book and I'd turn it in a day late. Overdo, baby. Yeah. I remember now and then I get a free sample

of a nice cream that I didn't intend to buy in the first place. Mickey soccer small spoon. So yeah, I was a real wild man back in the day, but what is nice to have you here? Thank you. And awkward as well. Yeah, it's because no guest has ever been

in the third act segment and you somehow have done it twice Both times you were on right. I'm like that villain that was murdered in act two But then maybe not murdered hard enough right so then he's back. Yeah, slasher that gets back up Yeah, sorry again. Yeah, so it's funny that we're bringing this up and you're not even becoming self-conscious and leaving now You're still sticking around and why are we trying asking him to leave? Oh, if you just said this, I would leave. Yes, of course. Flula, I think you should go.

Oh, great, everyone, great to meet you. Bye-bye. Oh, I didn't really think you'd go. It was that simple. Oh, yeah. Neither. Oh, wow. He really is leaving.

Wow, he's getting his, why is he getting separate shirts? Yeah, why does he... Oh, this is a sun shirt, wait, you've asked a question. Oh, yeah. So he's back. He's back. Shirts are important to cover your body because no matter how many creams you wipe on your face and arms, you can still receive sunburns.

Okay. So you already have a shirt. Layers are for players. Oh, okay. Oh, that long sleeve. Long sleeve, I see. And a hood. Oh, it's a hood.

Yes. A hood is something else. No, a hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. something else. Now a hoot. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood.

Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood.

Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood.

Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. Hood. from you. I would love it. Okay. Send in a voicemail. Hey, let's let's check There's a voicemail. Now I'm told from a flu LeBorg. Is that right? Yeah. Yes, that's correct And he has a question for us. Let's let's let's talk to let's do it. Play it for us. Hey everyone It's me flu LeBorg. How are you doing today? Okay, that doesn't seem like there's any other sound voice mail That is a terrible voicemail usually they ask a question question. Let's see a flu of work left another one. Hey, everyone is my second message apologies for the first message,

which was a question. I wanted to see how everyone is doing today and also tonight. And I will see. Oh, God, sake. He didn't learn from the first voicemail. There's a third. Oh, there's a third. Let's check it out. Hello, Conan. It's me, Flula. I just wanted to confirm our recording of the podcast tomorrow at 1300 hours and to just confirm the payment, which is 13 biscuits. Do you have those? Okay. Uh, yes, we'll give them. Hey, it's me. I'm still on the forgot to have one more question. Oh, he's still on. I can't believe I spoke. There was a long gap in that voicemail. And guess what? There's a gap every time I talk, which is weird. I just wanted to say everyone, bye bye to you

and have a very nice day. Do you got it? Is that the end of it? It is. And then what's so weird is that he's still here. No, he's still here. Yeah. I asked you to do a simple improv.

What was it? Were you leave a voicemail that just like, Oh, Conan, tell us what's your favorite pet and it allows us to fill out the segment But you couldn't even do that. Oh, sorry. No, it's too late. You you it's ridiculous. Hello, Conan. It's me flula I would like to know what is your favorite pet so you can fill out the segment. I Guess it would be my dog my dog, I love my dog. I love cats, so you play favorites? Yeah, I like dogs better. So where do you come down on cats or dogs?

I don't, I would on neither one, I pet them. Thank you, Flula. Thank you, Swade. Off we go, say it. I'm using bye bye. Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonom of Sessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley, executive produced by Adam Sachs, Nick Liao, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Your Wolf.

Themesong by the White Stripes, incidental music by Jimmy Vino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our Associate Talent Producer is Jennifer Samples, engineering by Eduardo Perez, additional production support by Mars Melnick, talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Con. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the team Coco Hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode.

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