Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Goofy Goo

Episode Date: February 22, 2024

Conan talks to Steven in Silver City, New Mexico about working as an astrologer and jeweler, what stone Conan should wear, and Conan’s belief in the power of objects. Wanna get a chance to talk to Conan? Submit here: TeamCoco.com/CallConan

I'm gonna go get a coffee. I'm gonna go get a coffee. I'm gonna go get a coffee. I'm gonna go get a coffee. I'm gonna go get a coffee. I'm gonna go get a coffee. I'm gonna go get a coffee. I'm gonna go get a coffee.

I'm gonna go get a coffee. I'm gonna go get a coffee. I'm gonna go get a coffee. I'm gonna go get a coffee. I'm gonna go get a coffee. I'm gonna go get a coffee. Ready, Steven, you're giggling. We haven't said anything, you just seem like a happy guy. Thanks, yeah, I'm pretty happy, most of the time. I mean, you know. Yeah, everyone has their up days and down days,

but you seem like a pretty, I'm gonna use the term happy chappy. What does that even mean, Conan? You seem like you got a big smile on your face. The sun is always at your back Stephen I came in today, I don't know. I'm just tell me a little bit about yourself I'll try and be a little more normal. I got a case of the Goofies today You know and I'm just covered in you know goofy goo, and I don't know what to do.

Oh, God. But Steven, help me a little bit about yourself. Let's make it about you, and then back to me, and then we'll stick on me. Yeah, cool. Steven, your name is Steven, and where are you coming from, sir? I'm in Silver City, New Mexico.

Oh, Silver City, New Mexico. Okay, very cool. Yeah, yeah. I love New Mexico. I think that's an amazing place. I love that whole area of the United States. Absolutely gorgeous. Oh yeah yeah. It's the foothills of the Heela Wilderness here. Yeah. I grew up in, you know, Boston and Massachusetts. And when I got out to the real Southwest for the first time as a young man in my early 20s, it blew my mind. I just saw a whole

different world and felt liberated. So that was pretty cool. I could relate to this. I moved here from Washington state about two years ago. Oh, we're in Washington state of you from? Marysville, Arlington area, north of Seattle. Okay, my wife's from Seattle. My wife's from Seattle, yeah. Don't you call her Liza?

No, sorry. You're to call her Dame O'Brien. She's... Dame O'Brien. So's a Dame O'Brien. So Dame O'Brien married someone covered in goofy goo? In goofy goo. Okay. She took a real step down.

I see. Yeah, her father, the Archduke said it, this is a terrible mistake. So you're from Silver City, New Mexico, and what do you do, Steven? I'm an astrologer and a jeweler. Astrologer and jeweler, are those two separate things or in your opinion,

do you meld the two in your jewel making? Yeah, I absolutely meld the two. I make talisman jewelry, so I do bespoke custom pieces for people based on their astrology. Wow, that's cool. So I guess you interview people first, you ask them a bunch of questions, you learn about about them and then you try and make a piece. You maybe you work with them and make a piece that fits their

Spiritual vibe is that yeah? I mean yeah spiritual vibe. I guess you could say that well. No, why don't you use your terminology again? I'm covered in goofy goose Again, I'm covered in goofy goose. It almost hit me. Yeah. I don't trust your terminology at all. Yeah. It starts with an astrology reading. And so I do a birth chart reading with somebody.

We go over what their, you know, their intentions are in this lifetime, which is what I see astrology chart can help us see. And then through that reading, learn about them. And then, you know, we all have our strengths, weaknesses, things like that. And with working with the stones and the metals, I can collaborate with that and create something that helps them really live what they want to live in this life.

That's neat. So clearly you're a very spiritual person. Yeah, yeah. I would say so. I would, I definitely would say so. The, all right, talk to us for a second. Are there other jewelers in town that do the same kind of thing

that you're competing with? No, there's other jewelers who do this kind of thing but not in town. Actually, I'm the only jeweler with a shop here in Silver City. That's fantastic. So when people come into your shop, you can say to them,

hey, what are you gonna do? Go somewhere else? Yeah. I don't think so! You should be, if I were you, I'd be, if I had the only jewelry shop in town, I'd be an incredible dick about it. Yeah, you would. I would, I know.

You would. Hey, hey, hey! Just the second they walk in. What are you both doing? You gonna walk away? I don't think so! You make the shittiest jewelry, and you got no other choice.

Yeah, this is a paper clip by Hammering into one bent piece. I don't think so. You make the shittiest jewelry. Yeah. You got no other choice. Yeah. This is a paper clip by Hammering into one bent piece. It's $6,000. What are you gonna do? Yeah. Stephen, don't listen to any of my advice. I'm a terrible.

Thank you. I'm a terrible person. Knowing what you know about Conan, what kind of jewelry would you make for him? Well, Conan's an Aries. He's got Virgo rising, you know I was actually looking at your chart Conan because you can look online and find people's birth info. Yeah, I'm Yeah, no, I know it's all on the internet and

Conan O'Brien April 18th 1986 so it's all there Yeah, very young. Anyway, the minute is up. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, that's it. Sleep in heavenly peace. What is it? I am. Sleep in heavenly peace.

What is it? I am. Sleep in heavenly peace. Virgo rising. What can you tell me about myself? Well, so one of the interesting things I saw on your chart is you have Saturn moon conjunction in your sixth house. Yeah, that's obvious the second you see him. Yeah, it's so obvious. Well, the thing that's obvious about it is,

you know, you talk a lot about your self-esteem and self-worth and how hypercritical you are of yourself. I've heard you say this. It's true. Yeah. And this is one of the things that that conjunction in your sixth house would speak to. Also, the rising super analytical person in general. your sixth house would speak to. Also, they're a rising super analytical person in general. Yeah. This is one of the things. It's all confirmed by, obviously, if you listen to the podcast at all or aware of me,

just in general, and then you read the charts, it feels like it pretty much lines up, yes? Yeah, yeah, a lot of things that are really interesting. I mean, your comedy, I mean, you're in Aries, Aries that are impulsive. It totally makes sense for you as far as the comedy you do, the weird shit you do. Yeah. I don't know that I'd call it weird shit. I think innovative, groundbreaking. Morally weird shit though. Iconic. Anyway, it extends past your comedy,

your weird shit. Yeah, it should true, yeah. My doctor says my shit is weird too. It's very literally weird. It's blue. Aw man. Little marshmallows in it. Anyway, that's not the point. So Stephen, please, you brought up, please. Let's get off of poop, I don't know who brought that up

and I was probably so mad. It wasn't me this time. This time. Anyway, yes, this is it. Cause I'd be interested maybe in, I, you know, you seem like a very creative person. I bet you're very good at what you do. What kind of piece do you think based on what you know,

if I had walked into your shop and was interested, what are the ideas that you would have for the piece that you would make for me? I mean, definitely stuff around the self-worth. I mean, adding stones like Mahogany Obsidian, it's a grounding stone, Saturn related as well. So something that could help you bring out your self-worth, Roto-like Garnet, would also be something in there,

incorporated in it. Tanzanite might also be a good stone. It's good for self-esteem, also connecting the head and the heart. And so those kinds of themes, probably something in gold too, just to kind of like, it's a masculine metal, right? And so bringing out that masculinity,

I don't know if you actually need that, but you know. Yeah, I like to put something. Yeah, I could use it. Anything, yeah. These guys both look horrible. I need a masculine. Gourly, you could use it too, yeah. I need a, Garlay and I both need

a massive injections of masculinity. So much gold. How much gold can I get? Yeah. Yeah. Ah! Ah! Ah!

And can it spell out something masculine? And will that masculine gold clash with my sweater? Yeah. My dainty, shawl neck sweater. Ah! I love that you know the name of it. It's a shawl neck. It must go with my sh. Yeah. My dainty, shawl neck sweater. I love that you know the name of it. It's a shawl neck. It must go with my shawl neck.

I want to increase my masculinity, but it can't clash with my shawl neck. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Stephen, what would this piece look like? You know? I'm gonna go with the I'm gonna go with the

I'm gonna go with the I'm gonna go with the I'm gonna go with the I'm gonna go with the I'm gonna go with the I'm gonna go with the I'm gonna something around your neck. I mean, I want to be like Flava Flav, you know, some huge peas, right? I do want it to be, I want it to be a clock,

cause I know what time it is. Yeah, so. Well, that's the Saturn Rolls time, so. No, okay, no, we don't want to go to the flavor flavor out as much as I admire him. So you're thinking maybe something, and would these be like little beads made of those materials? Oh no, no, they'd be stone set.

You know, I have, I mean, this is more of a flavor piece, but this is a giant piece of turkey. Oh my God, look at that. Whoa, nap. Can't wear that swimming, that's for sure. No, probably not. That is, I mean, it's beautiful, it's gorgeous. Yeah.

It looks like something Bea Arthur would have worn later in life before her back gave out. But I'm thinking something smaller and more subtle, like what I'm wearing here. That's very cool. That's very cool. I would commission something from you and what I'm interested in is I really wanted

to represent the podcast. So I'm thinking a piece that represents me and then two large heavy stones. Okay. Weighing me down. Like an albatross, you know, two, whatever, like my piece is trying to take flight and these two heavy dense pieces of cement.

Really? Nothing valuable, cement. Are just dragging me down, keeping this bird from taking wing and soaring. I see it as like cow dung with two diamonds in it. I see it as two big testicles and a small chode. Wait, who's you here? He's the chode and we're the big ball.

Oh yeah. Wait, don't you wanna pick something feminine for yourself? No, I wanna be a testicle. I wanna be ball. Trust me, you can be. There are many days where you come in and you're just a, I'm like, wow, she's a testicle today. You're a chode, you're a little, you know, it's there,

but we're there, you know? Okay, well I don't like that you made mine small. It's small and fat, it's chode. Okay, this is just not an accurate representation. I often said my penis is me, very long, thin and filled with worry. Constantly, and it has little, it's that sharp little cheekbones. We don't know what the fuck that's all about.

Can you do that, Steven? Yeah, sure, that sounds great. Steven, I do think your stuff is fantastic. I'd be interested to see the different shapes that you come up with. It's very cool. Yeah, I do a lot of celestial designs as well, things that are symbolic of the stars or other things. Whatever symbolism comes through in the piece as well. And that's part of the process, is after we have a reading, then I sit with it and then it really inspiration comes through at you know at some point

You know I see something that that makes me think oh this would be great for Conan's piece or you know Some kind of downloads like that. I think anything that would be grounding and As you say would reign me in a little bit and calm me down You know would be great. These are all things I've tried through pharmaceuticals, but with limited success, some success, I want to point out, I'm a believer in that it does work. But yeah, maybe you've got the right idea. I'm a big believer that we don't know everything. There's a lot we don't know.

And so I'm not a cynic about what you're talking about. I think anything's possible. Well, they've been doing it for thousands of years. I mean I'm not the first person to make intentional objects like this. No of course not. Even the founding fathers, you know. Yeah, right. The founding fathers, yes. I didn't realize they were really into jewelry and a lot of the paintings, they probably painted it out of a lot of the paintings that they're wearing giant medallions that say swing and dick on them. Shit. Shit. Shit.

Shit. We're trying to have that. Come on, Jefferson. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And Franklin had a giant medallion

that said back that shit up. But it was in French, because he's always in France, trying to get some French lady to back that shit up. And they had to paint over it. It's just such a drag, you know? Washington just had gold teeth in his wooden grill. Yeah, he was sad.

He tried to just get fancy with his teeth, which was very sad. And it said chew thoroughly, that's what his, he's such a sour. Anyway this is all stuff it's historically accurate you can check it out. Oh okay, I'll google it. I'm impressed I really am I think Steve it's on to something. Do you have a question for Conan? Yeah do you believe objects have power? I do I have to say that I think objects have power to the degree that this I'm answering this seriously. I think the human mind is really powerful. I think

there's a lot we don't understand and I think that objects in and of themselves might not have power but if you if you are investing them with power, if you're trying to connect with them, if you believe something soothes you, it will soothe you, I think, so I think there's some kind of connection there. I'm not sure, and like I say, I don't know. In general, I'm wary of stuff, like any human being, I love stuff, but I'm also very wary of it, that kind of idea that

it can weigh you down in this life, and you want to be unencumbered from it. And that's that constant yin-yang battle between, I want to get rid of my stuff, and gee, I'd like to have more stuff. I think that's 95% of the human condition. Anyway, in this part of Los Angeles it is. So I don't know. There's, I do, I'm intrigued by everything you're talking about. And do I know for a fact that, you know,

when some of the elements that you brought up would have a difference, I don't know, but why not? Why wouldn't they? Why not give it a shot? That's my thought, why not? I mean, it's intention, right? Yeah, and they're beautiful and we're here for a short time and then it's something you can pass on to somebody else

and it tells you something about them. So if I pass this on, I'm sure my kids would, well, they'd probably look at it and say, what can we get for this? Put it on either side of the pocket. Oh, they hop. Oh. They hop.

They hop. They hop. The moment you're gone, they're just gonna take everything that you held valuable and just sell it on your baby. Including letters that say, I love you. You mean so much to me. I'm so proud of you, you're the best son I ever have. That was not nice.

Can I sell this? Well, it doesn't have much market value. Shredder. Ah! Gee, that letter was, you could have just folded it up and put it in your desk drawer. Takes up space. Really a folded note.

Ah! Ah! Yeah, well, they're practical. So yeah, no, I think so. I do. I like what you're doing. I appreciate it, I think it's really cool. And part of me wants to move to your street

and set up a rival jewel across the street you have competition of course and Like slash all my prices, but the stuff is just shit. Yeah, but I'm just Practically giving it away and and then I go by your place and make a lot of noise with a cowbell And just be I don't know that's just it's bringing out this kind of side of me that just wants to do that But then again if I was wearing your jewelry, I wouldn't do that because my heart and mind would be connected.

And yeah, there you go. Yeah, yeah. So, you wanna be smearing shit on my window. I didn't even think of that, but you're right. Why are you helping him? Yeah, smearing shit. I gotta write it down. Why are you giving him ideas?

Your competition. Your blue marshmallow shit. Smearing blue marshmallow shit on Steven's window. Well, Steven, it was really nice meeting you. I'm very intrigued by what you do. I'd love to come by sometime because I would love to get to Silver City, New Mexico. And it would be cool to consult with you.

I think it'd be neat. I bet it would be. Yeah, that would be fantastic. Well, very nice to meet you, sir. Go forth and do good works. Thank you. All right. Take care. Have a good one. Thank you. Conan O'Brien needs a friend. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian and Matt Gorely. Produced by me, Matt Gorely. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Nick Leow and Jeff Ross at Team Coco

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