Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Greg Daniels

Episode Date: August 25, 2025

Writer, showrunner, and producer Greg Daniels feels outraged about being Conan O’Brien’s friend. Greg sits down with Conan to discuss their unique strategies for saving money living together in their first LA apartment, traveling to Vancouver to hunt down the stars of the Canadian series Beachcombers, and expanding on the world of The Office with the upcoming spin-off series The Paper. For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com.Got a question for Conan? Call our voicemail: [phone]. Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/conan.

Hi, my name is Greg Daniels. And I feel outraged about being Conan O'Brien's friend. You should be. Conan O'Brien needs a friend. Conan O'Brien doesn't have any friends. Poor Conan has no friends. Help him find a friend. And how long have we been friends?

I live two miles from you. I brought you food. It's food when you had shingles in your eye. Yep. It's true. Fall is here. Hear the yell. Back to school.

Ring the bell. Brand new shoes. Walking loose. Climb the fence. Books and pens. I can tell that we are going to be friends. Yes, I can tell that we are going to be friends. Hey there.

Welcome to Conan O'Brien needs a friend. I'm sitting with a friend. my good pals, my amigos, my chums for life. That's the number four. Sonom of Sessian, Matt Gourley, good to see you both. For life, we're committing for life? Yes. You did. You've more or less, we've been doing this together over five years. And that's a significant, I know, but doing it well for five. It's the number four? That was one of my favorite jokes we ever did. We did a 10th anniversary special for the late night with Conan O'Brien show. And we did it at the Beacon Theater. And it was this big show. It was so much fun and so much great stuff. But one of my favorite things is I'm

standing out there and I'm saying it's such a wonderful night and Mr. T came out. I remember this. And he put, he handed me a giant, he's Mr. T wearing fatigues and with his mohawk and jewelry and I was just so delighted because he became a friend of the show and he was such a great guest and we did remotes together and I went to Chicago with him. He presented me with a gift and he put a big gold number seven over my neck. And he was like, happy, you know, happy anniversary, Conan. And I said, Mr. T, this is the seven. I've been on the air for, for 10. And he said, you've only been funny for seven. And then he spun on his, he gave me a sharp salute, spun on his heel and marched out, killed. I thought that was a great joke. That is good. And God bless you, Mr. T.

That's nice. We are having an exciting day because I walked in to the offices here at Larchmont, these sprawling corporate, massive structure. It's like one building. Shut up. I suddenly am set upon by two imps. Yeah. Your kids are here today and it's so much fun. Why don't you paint the picture?

Because I immediately revert to a three-year-old when I'm around three and four-year-olds. You really do become a child. Yeah. Become a child. Maybe it is who you are and then this is like who is not the real one. There's layers of crud. Like those dishes that are wrapped in bacon. I'm a child, and then there's just layers and layers of high, fatty meat surrounding the inner child.

I was, it's weird. The analogy I thought of was how Superman is Superman, and then Clark Kent is who he pretends to be. That's what I was thinking more along the lines up. I like that better than bacon. No, I think bacon's more apt. So what happened? You were there, and they were quite. They lost their minds when they saw you.

Because I'm like a parade float. You come in and you're immediately just like, going at like just going at it you're going crazy and then they feed off that energy and then it just turns into it we're both chasing each other around yeah i'm running upstairs they're chasing me and then i'm they come running back downstairs and i'm chasing them yeah uh it was really fun to have them around and the only thing i couldn't do is i'm trying to get them to freeze like okay everybody freeze yeah and mikey won't do it mikey has a problem with authority i don't know where he gets it from I really don't know where he gets it from.

It was so funny because I'd say, no, guys, and then when I do this, we all freeze. And I would freeze, too. Yeah. And he just won't freeze. No, he won't. He won't listen to you. And then he'll, like, do it. He's funny.

And I'm like, it's not funny. You're not listening. Like, it's just not. It's stop. You have to stop. Right. Do you see yourself? Do you see yourself in him?

Yeah, I do. Yeah. Because you never listened to me for years and years. You know that. Yeah. That's true. And I used to, when I first hired you as my assistant, I'd say freeze. And you'd be like, what? No, that's stupid.

Yeah, well, that was just smart of her, though. Yeah. He had good life skills. You were 30. That was appropriate. Your boss tells you to freeze. Freeze. No, what are you doing, creep?

I just took out my pepper spray. Yeah. No, I'm, yeah, they're really, they love you. They really, really love you. And I think that they, like, every time someone would come in, they'd be like, is that Uncle Conan? Is that Uncle Conan? And, you know, like, they're just really excited to see you.

I don't know. Does that burn you a little bit that they're loving so much? Yeah. Why? I don't know. I think when they're older. I think it bothers you more than anybody. It does.

It does. Yeah. You have kept me away from your daughter, I've noticed. You don't want her forming any attachments to me. That's not true. I brought her in here before. You bring her in, but you're always like, okay, that's enough, that's enough. And she starts to, I see light coming into her eyes for the first time, like unbridled joy and fun.

And you're always like, let's get out of here and you wrap her in a blanket and you run away. I'm just going to look at what you've been doodling here. Oh, dear. Oh, look at this. Oh, no. Darth Vader that you've drawn, and then is that a Boba Fett? What is that? A glip?

And then this is just a regular stormtrooper. These are the renderings of someone who has thought about these guys a lot. I don't ever draw them. I swear to God, and I just happen to today. And of course, it's the one day that you pick up the piece of paper. You don't ever draw them. These are perfectly rendered. Because I used to draw them in grade school all the time.

So you're saying you regress when you're in my presence. I do. Look at that. Those are really good. Those are really good. You're very good. But it's just interesting to me that this is what I feel like I'm trying to get you to take an algebra test and I walk by you. And I'm like, Mr. Corley. That's exactly what happened in high school.

Did you get, you horrible at algebra? Absolutely horrible. Did you have detention a lot? I wouldn't say a lot, but I was no stranger. Yeah. You seem like a law-biting guy. No, I was a real like, I got away with a lot. I broke a lot of rules, but I very rarely got caught and I'm not proud of it. But I would do things like I, I wants to get out of a test, did a full gash, wax makeup cut on my hand and went in to class, just pouring blood out of it going, I got to go to the nurse. And so, and it was very realistic?

Very realistic, yeah. I had it in my glove compartment of my car in high school. My brother, we had this woman that, you know, my mom went back to work. My dad was at work. And so she got this woman named Eva Murphy, who was from Prince Edward Island. and she would, you know, help clean the house and she'd put on a meal for us at 5 o'clock. And she was just sort of there to make sure

that there was someone at home. And she did a lot, actually. She was wonderful. But my brother Luke once took a, sorry Luke, I'm selling you out here, but he spent a lot of time he used that fake vampire blood. And he, this was ingenious. He used a, he just wanted to play a prank on Eva,

but he melted red wax on his hand and his upper arm. So it looked like it had, And then he painstakingly put all this blood on it And it looked like his hand Had accidentally fallen into like I don't know A wood chipper Disposal or something

Yeah, it was shredded His hand looked shredded And he came running into the kitchen He was like, Eva Murphy freaked out And I think Luke then was like Ah, Luke was scared Because he got

He just thought he was gonna get Oh, you rascal And instead he came running in with a stump That was shooting blood Do you know what I mean? It was out of Monty Python the Holy Grail Man after my own heart.

Yeah, and I remembered I was horrified, Eva was horrified. Luke was horrified. Oh, my God. I don't think so. He's kind of a sociopath, but it was quite, that just triggered me. You just brought up a very painful memory for me. Is that a butt? It's a W for rap, but it also could do.

You look, look at that. Jesus, can I see that place? So you're out of control today. You just drew boobies. Well, after she said butt, I put some nipples on that. Okay. So now I see why you would go. into detention.

All right. Were you ever in detention? I feel like you were like the kid who asked for extra credit. I was the kid that carried other escorted other kids to detention. No, you weren't. I'm making that up.

No, but still, were you, were you the kid who was like, excuse me, you forgot? I have him, principal Thomas. This malefactor! Nerd! Nerd! As he draws more Star Wars heads. Nope.

I've taken. your booby and I've turned it I took your frown and turned it upside down so I'm very happy with what I've done that's real good I know and hey you know the great thing about a podcast it's perfect for drawing stuff yeah but look at that guy look at that see wow that's yeah special he gets his friends call him titty that's titty Johnson I just took back everything I just did Okay, so we'll also post these on Team Coco podcasts on Instagram, both the Star Wars Heads and Tiddy Johnson. Do you want to do that again and sound like you're not on lithium?

I'm going to post these. Okay, Sylvia Plath. We'll also post these on... No, I want the other one. You do it, asshole. Hey, you want to check out these fun drawings? See the whole evolution of two boobies to a friendly guy named Tiddy Johnson. Check it out on at Team Cocoa Podcasts on Instagram and YouTube.

That's the kind of show you've signed up for. Hey, I am very excited. My guest today is one of my oldest friends. And he also just happens to be a legendary writer, showrunner, and producer. I mean, he's been responsible for like half of the really good TV shows in the last 25 years. That's very true. And he and I go way back. and we got started together.

We struck out two lads heading out to L.A. in 1985. He saved my life in so many ways, and I love him for it. The fourth season of his show Upload premieres on Prime Video Monday, August 25th, and he has like 15 other things going too.

It's craziness. I am so thrilled he's here today, and I know fans have been wanting this for a long time. The day has come. Greg Daniels, welcome. Anyone who doesn't know, and I think most people know, because Adam Sacks has told me that this might be the most fan-requested interview that we've had over years. People are saying, when are you going to get Greg Daniels here? And yet I'm guessed like 750.

I think I should have a podcast. Greg Daniels thought he had a friend. But I guess not. Look, I waited to monetize our friendship at the peak moment, and I think I've done that. Middle of the summer. Who couldn't come because they were on vacation? You and I met in college, and we both worked on the Harvard Lampoon. We knew each other. We were in the same class freshman year.

Yes, we did a – which we could talk about, I suppose. We did a class, which was like a playwriting class. No, the other one. There was one – we did one with the same professor about stories. Do you remember in freshman years, the seminar? I don't. It's all a blur. Yes.

I was dropping a lot. I might be thinking of someone else. I think you think of someone else. You know what we're going to do? We've never done this, but we're going to start again. Watch this. And go. You've got to leave it off.

All right, for the uninitiated, for people who don't know, Greg and I went to school together. We kind of knew each other, and then I was on the lampoon. You were competing to get on the lampoon. You dropped off a course. Why is that important that you were there first? I was there. this is like the fourth time

you said this intro I was on the left if you were competing to get on the left I could have gone thumbs up I was the John Lennon and you were the Ringo showed up you was like I can keep a steady beat you drop this cartoon off

that is in that moment I remember that moment very well because you had to leave them on the floor of this building and I remember going into this room in the Lampoon building where people would just leave their stuff on the floor and looking down and seeing this cartoon and a good cartoon is like a little silver bullet

it goes right to your brain you had such a great cartoon which was, why don't you describe it? I would never have brought this up. I liked it. I thought it was really funny. I thought it was sort of my, it's our origin story. I suppose. I suppose if we forget about the other thing,

but very literary cartoon, very small audience, very nerd-defining cartoon. Don't talk down to my people. It was a, oh, God, I can't. It's a sea captain. It's a sea captain, old sea captain, and he's at some party, and he has a, hello, my name is sticker on his shirt, and it says Ishmael. Ishmael. One of the great lines.

Call me Ishmael. And I saw that, and I thought, okay, that's a great. That would be a New Yorker cartoon right now. It was well drawn. We got to know each other. And then both of us were interested in getting into comedy. I'll just speak for myself. The idea of going out into this crazy world by myself was terrifying.

And I remembered thinking, gee, I wonder if Greg would do this with me because he's really funny. And then I'd have a good friend and we could do it together. That was my feeling. Yes. I think you were under the impression that I was very wealthy, which I was not. Well, the summer before we graduated, we worked on a project. Yep. And it was a very fun experience.

And I think that comedy is such a social thing. It's so much fun to joke around with friends. And, you know, I prefer it that way for sure. And so, yeah, so I thought, well, that's cool. Let's try that. And I remember Greg, a brilliant fellow, and you were possibly going to go to law school. And I think your mother was questioning.

And I remember when you showed up with me, It's like you show up with your fiancé. You showed up with me. And I remembered your dad was like, oh, this sounds fun. And I think your mom was who I love, by the way. I love your mom. And she's fantastic. But she rightfully was a little like, who's this Conan?

And he's talking all this nonsense into my son's year. That's the impression I got. Yeah. Well, that was my two choices. Lawyer or comedy writer. And I found that people, when I had been a kid, and growing up, they would say, you should be a lawyer. And they always said that when they were mad at me because I was being, like, really annoying and argumentative. And then sometimes they'd say, you should be a comedian, you should be funny.

And they were always saying that when they were happy with me. That's cool. And I was like, you know what? I think I should probably not go down this path of everybody hating me. Yeah. Well, this part of my life. life is so seared into my brain, and I'm indebted to you because I don't know what, I think coming out to L.A. was terrifying to me. It was just, I, I, what have you said to the audience about

your origin? What can I talk about? Anything. That they don't know. Oh, he ate a lot of burgers and fries, and he was weird and lanky? No, no, that's just genetics. Oh, okay. That's not, for burgers and fries, we used to go to Johnny Rockets. Did we talk about this? Oh, well. And I had this very annoying running joke with him where I would tell the waitstaff it was his birthday every single time that we came so that they would come sing to him. Yeah, it's annoying, very annoying.

But I think all I have to tell people is that we came out here and we were very frugal. We were very hard working. We did not have girlfriends. We shared one car, one apartment, and one office. And according to my father, one towel. I don't know if that's true. No, it's true. It's true. And I'll tell you this.

We had an apartment, which I pass every day, because I live not far away, on Barrington. And I remember us, we had no furniture. All right, so we got, we got mattresses. from a parking lot in Watts. Do you remember that? We drove there and they would, you pick out your mattress and they throw it on a truck.

They'd tie it to your top of your car and off you go. It wasn't a store. I'm sorry, who's they? I don't know. There was no warranty to this. There was no tag on the mattresses. And it was wrapped in plastic

but it could easily have come from a dead person's apartment. I don't know. There was weird stains on them, bloody stains. And we also, we had a subscription to the L.A. Times because it's very important to know what's going on in your community. And that used to pile up so fast that we built furniture out of it. We made, we stacked

our L.A. Times. We did not have a couch. We did not have furniture. So we knew we had to have a television. So we got a television. And I know what it was because my brother Neil tends to let's say hang on to things. Somehow my brother Neil, he calls me the day and he says, I just emailed you something. And I checked my email. He had emailed a photograph. He said, it's an old. old 1985 TV remote that says Quasar on it. And I said, what is this? And he went, that's the remote control you and Greg had in your apartment in 1985.

It's like the size of a dictionary. Yeah. Oh, my God. And it's all beat up. And Neil got it because I guess when we got our own places eventually I took the TV and then it had another life and it went to New York with me and then

eventually Neil gets all appliances. He ended up with it. But the story that you, everyone needs to know is we shared a terrible car that we bought at like a junkyard near the airport. Rent a wreck. Yeah, rent a wreck. There used to be a place where you could rent cars maybe still called rent a wreck. And when they wrecks got so wrecky that nobody would rent them, then they sold them.

Oh my God. And this looked, it was a 1977 Isuzu Opel, which is a car that I think they made twice and then said, eh. No more. No more. And you can see the ground from, in the back seat, there was a corrosion hole. And if you wanted to get rid of your litter, you could just drop it on it. I don't like that. We were this unit.

We were locked in. We worked really hard at our job, but not necessarily the news. But one of the things that was unusual is for young guys who were 22 and out in L.A., we didn't drink. We didn't do anything. We didn't do drugs. We were kind of interested in having girlfriends, but we didn't know how to do that. So I remember, do you went to like a Mrs. Fields and started chatting up the girl who worked at Mrs. Fields?

And you were like, oh, I'm doing pretty well with that. And then I had a second date with her. You had a second date. And so here's the best part of that. Greg comes to me because he had some success with the girl at working at Mrs. Fields. And he came back and he went, taking her out. And then he said, I need to speak to you. Can I have the car tomorrow?

So he had to ask me if he could borrow the car. And I said, well, that's okay. And then I just stayed home with the TV, the Quasar, and watched the A team again. I don't know. But I don't know. It's just we had this. This is very accurate. Yeah.

It's not complimentary, but it's very accurate. Well, I mean, I, and then we had these, we were so worried that we were going to get into some kind of, what if the job dries up and we don't have money. And you were more of a taskmaster in a good way about, hey, we got to make sure we don't don't blow our money when we're out here on our paychecks. So you found a place called Flaky Jakes. Oh, yeah, my Flaky Jakes scam. He had a scam at Flaky Jakes. Yes. So Flaky Jakes was great. It was this burger restaurant and they were very proud of the fact that they baked their own buns and that you would put the burger on the buns and then you'd go and they had hundreds of fixings. Like a salad bar, fixings bar. Yeah. And, you know, and the whole thing was, you know, I don't know what, like eight

bucks or something, but they would sell the buns for 35 cents. And you got the bun, you got a tray, and then you could go to the fixings, and you could put tomatoes and onions and a lot of dressing on it, and pickles. And you can make yourself like this vegetarian fixing sandwich for 35 cents. So you don't, so they would say, I of course didn't subscribe to that. I was 6'4, 155 pounds, which if you do the math, doesn't work. And I was always hungry. I was always perpetually hungry, and I couldn't gain weight, so I would say I'll have the double, double, triple burger. And then they'd turn to Greg, and he'd be like, just the bun, thank you.

And then he'd walk over to this thing and he'd pile it mile high with free stuff. I don't have to take a bad job because I had the burger, you know? Yeah. I want to have a little flexibility there. Yeah. And so. That's genius. Yeah.

So we're driving around. I'm just trying to paint a picture because Greg has gone on to be one of the most successful TV creators of all time. And it's just, no, it's true. And it's really fun for me to time travel and go back to, you had a kick once when you said, you'd read an article that broccoli has all the amino acids you need. So you and I went and you filled back. bags with broccoli at the store and we came home and we boiled it because that's supposed to be or steamed it. And then we ate it with some fat-free butter substitute.

Yeah. And you were chomping it down going, hmm, all the amino acids. And for very little money and I started thinking, why did I pick this guy? Why didn't I pick a guy who was like, come on, let's do a few lines. And then go to that strip club. You got to carpe diem. There was no carpe diem with us. Yeah, it was Greg holding you back, right? Yeah, I'm the problem. Thank you. Can you imagine? I had a t-shirt that said bikini inspector.

There was not a nerd vibe in him at all. No, not no. This guy was supposed to go clubbing and you held him back with your burgers. They say that Leopold and Loeb, neither one of them would have killed if they were alone, but together they were lethal. That's true of most murdering couples. Greg and I each made the other nerd vibrate. Nerd genes vibrate. And we both would get nerdier.

I know, who knows? Maybe without you, he would have been, like, you know, going to the strip clubs and I don't know. Yeah. Having a burger. Yeah. I don't know. Having some real protein.

I really want to run with that premise, but it doesn't feel right. I have such a. clear memories. And they come back to me. Whenever I drive past our old haunts, remember we eventually get separate apartments. I found a $380 month apartment from Cynthia Stevenson. She had this special apartment that was really cheap. And she said, I'm moving in with my boyfriend. You can have my apartment. You got an apartment not too far away. We're now in the flats in Hollywood. And I'll never forget, you finally decided you were going to get a new car and you were going to come by and show it to me. And of course, you're very,

practical. You're careful. I did a lot of research about how you deal with car dealers and you got to hold the line. You got to go in there and tell them this is all I got. And so I did everything right. I went in there and I walked out. They had sold me a car with no air conditioning. Oh, no. I didn't know what to do. I was like, this is it. This is all I can go. And they were like, well, we can make that if you get by this one that has no air conditioning. And I kind of was like, maybe I don't need it. And so this is interesting. He comes by my apartment. And this is before cell phones, before anything like that. So I think you called me ahead of time and said,

be out in front of your apartment. At 3 o'clock, I'll come by with my new car. I go out and then you had bought a very sensible Toyota Corolla. So I got the one with no air conditioning. And then I also compounded my problem by getting a car that would last forever. But I have no air conditioning for years and years. And I got in and you were a little defensive. I got in and there was a giant.

hole in the middle. This is a brand new car, and there's a giant space that you could put a watermelon in in the console, and I said, what goes here? And he went, well, that's normally the air conditioner, but I didn't get that. Sorry, do I sound like that? What the fuck?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I forgot. I thought I'm sorry. I thought that I partnered with Niles from Frazier. I apologize. No, but Greg said, oh, I didn't get that. And Greg was like, yeah, and get that. Right.

What do you're doing? How are you doing? Hey, don't diss the pussy wagon. I was like, Craig, please. He said, come out on Vatch Patrol. I said, Jesus, Craig. But he said, I didn't get an air conditioner, and I said... There's only two settings.

Yeah. And I said, yeah, I said, I don't know. Don't you need air conditioning? It's fine right now. And it was, of course, it was February and Galoo. It felt really good. good in the car without the air conditioning. After that, anytime we went to a meeting, he was covered in sweat. He looked like he was having a nervous breakdown. I remember going to, I drove to, I think,

to see you in Chicago. Yeah, I did a happy, happy, happy good show with Robert Smigel, Bob Odenkirk. And I was going to see you. It was like August. And I drove from L.A. to Chicago. And I had to sleep during the day and drive at night because it was so hot. Oh. Oh. I've been. I've made the mistake of leaving a cassette in the car, and I came back, like, when I went to get a hamburger, I came back, and it was all curly-kewed from heat. It was a, it was a nightmare car, but I had a long time. We had a hamburger, though. You treated yourself. Yes. I'm dying. And so I need a hamburger. I do remember we used to do very strange things to entertain ourselves. We have to sit down and we have to together write all this down sometimes. Yeah, I don't know what

you've told folks here. Like, one of my favorites was when... You're insane, and I was held back from My life is a fucking suckmaster. Oh, no. God. By the way, to Greg and Judy Daniels, I mean, to Aaron and Judy Daniels, I hope you're enjoying the podcast. See, I was a good influence. We redid the beginning four times, and we won't redo this. That's got to stay in. I'm not redoing this.

I'm proud of this. Oh, my God. I was just remembering the bit where we got into our first. kind of argument with the costume designer and yeah and they went to lord and they said you fired these two or i'm leaving and uh and lauren was like this is my costume designer or she's you know terrific and got all these awards and everything so he called us into the his office and we were a little nervous yeah we thought we were getting fired yeah and he sat down and we just had this conversation He said, you got to, we got to stay in here about 20 minutes, so she thinks I'm yelling at you.

Yeah. It was terrific. It was great. He was like, I have to be here for 20 minutes, and you're in here, too. And just so you know, I'm yelling at you right now, but he wasn't. Right. And we didn't get into a fight, to be fair, all we did was we wrote a sketch and it had these elaborate costumes, and we checked on, we went to the place where they were manufacturing them just to check on them because we thought that's what a good writer-producer does is check on things. And that apparently was us overstepping our bounds, which, okay, I didn't know.

We didn't know that. We were brand new. So I don't remember us. We never got into fights with people or yelled at people. No, no, no. No, we just ignorantly stepped on toes. Yes. That just seems normal, though.

Yeah. Now that's normal. I don't know. It was one of those things where we were new and I don't think it would have been an issue. We had bad, I mean, I think we were pretty nice people, but we had a lot of, like, bad instincts for Hollywood. Like, I remember when we, before we got to S&L, we had an opportunity to possibly do a movie rewrite.

And this was very rare for us. We had never, ever been offered anything like this. So they sent us this script, and we read it. And we had this one meeting. We came in, and for some reason, we were really concerned that the studio had wasted money because we didn't like the script at all. And we were, we spent the whole time going,

can you get the money back? Is that possible? We were interested in the studio getting its money back. And we weren't playing the game. And also, I remember the first meeting we ever had with an agent was, no, was Howard Klein. Yeah. We had a meeting with Howard Klein and Howard was like, okay, well, you guys, there's a good word on you. You're doing a good job.

And the next step would be a few guys to do this and this and this. And I cut him off and I said, what if we, how does it work if we want to write new lyrics to existing songs? And he said, what do you mean? And I said, well, you know, Elvis Presley had that big hit with suspicious. minds. What if we just changed it to suspicious brains? Can we get paid for that? And he said, get the fuck out of here. I don't know why. Trying to tickle our own brains and be happy. Well, you had this thing, you had this thing where you wanted to put in our contract that if Bob Hope died. Yes. We would be released from our contract. Rules of comedy would have been all different.

You know, there's all this boilerplate. We got our first contract. And it was just, you know, we're staff writers on not necessarily the news and there's just this stuff that of course Greg got out his magnified glasses and was looking and saying it's it says here well according to Pinsley T. Pinsworthy it says here that article 4 section 9 and it says things like that's been in contract since the beginning of time literally biblical stuff about fire plagues locus act of God and I said well there should there needs to be I said I recline we need we want a clause in there that if Bob Hope should die comedy as we know it would be forever changed

and this contract is no one void and again he said get the fuck out of here I was kicked out of his office like 15 times and Bob Hope just kept living too he died six hours ago the age of 150 but I will say I have so many

happy memories that I wouldn't have had I'm an anxious I'm an anxious person. And I put a lot of pressure on myself. And Greg was really just a great. Just happy go lucky. Well, not smoking. Just think Owen Wilson. Greg should be played by Owen Wilson. From the stick era. No, you, we just had a lot of fun doing weird things that there's a whole story. It's probably a screenplay where you and I decided to just, I think we had seen in the news that Lady Diana or

Princess Diana and her husband, Charles, had just been to Vancouver for like a fair. And we decided, it was Expo. It was like Expo 87 or something. And we saw an ad where they made it look amazing in the ad. And I think you as a historian type person knew about the Chicago Expo of like 19, know, four or something that was very, like, impressive. And we just managed to convince ourselves that if we missed Expo 87 in Vancouver, we would regret it for the rest of our lives.

I still stand by that. And by the way, the Expo was over. The Expo was over. But we thought, we'll see the remnants. Oh, no. So I remember we flew to Seattle. It was like all business, too. It's just like Xerox had a thing because they had a new copy.

beer. Yeah. You know. There was a new kind of asbestos they were coming out with. It was signed in the paper and you're like, we got to go there. We got to go. So Greg and I fly. I mean, other people on their weekends are, I'm in L.A.

I'm going to get it on a boat with all my friends. And we did know people, Billy Campbell, Ian McStone Graham, who lived in a cool house. They all were writers. They would go out on, they would rent boats and all split it. And on the weekend, they'd go out and wear yachting caps and have fun. And there were women on the boat. And you're like, we're like, suckers. Xerox has a new copier

and we're going to be the first to see it we're going to have our pictures taken with the new Xerox copier so we flew we fly to Seattle we fly to Seattle and then we drive in a of course the cheapest rental car you can get like the Hyundai

bulb and it's a light bulb and it's a light bulb that they turn into a car and we drove that from Seattle to Vancouver and then we're watching we're in our motel room quickly sussing out that well this expo isn't really happening

and it's raining a lot and all the exhibits are closed and there's a half a Ferris wheel what are we doing here and then we're spending a lot of time we got hooked on a beachcomers there's a Canadian content show that ran for like 50 years

it's like the bold and the beautiful of Canada called Beachcomers the Beachcomers I think and Bruno Jerusi was the star and creator, I believe. Glad you got that right. That's some mail I don't have to answer. And we decided we had to go watch it be filmed.

And we just became completely obsessed with this film and with this show. And with one particular character, we decided there was one particular character on it who didn't have many lines and we decided we have to meet him and we made a promise to ourselves, we're going to shake his hand before we leave Vancouver. And then we went and we got reporters notebooks. And we're interviewing people all over time, pretending we're reporters. And then someone, someone. We went to the CBC.

We found out they were shooting at Gibson's Island, which I now am like in that community a little bit because I shot Upload up in Vancouver. And so I've returned to the scene of the crime. People send me like beachcomers shirts like all the crew that I worked with there. Yeah. So we went and we had to get to Gibson. Like in time to go back to Seattle to get our flight. And we were running out the clock trying to figure out how to get to the set. And we missed the ferry that goes to Gibson's.

And it was the last ferry. There would be no way to get there. So then we went down to the docks and we started talking to fishermen. And we explained our situation. Yes. And we paid some guy to go faster than the ferry. in his little fishing boat. And we're so excited.

We jump in this boat and we're beating the ferry and we're like, yeah, we're going to get to the island before the ferry. And then we get on the island and we, and then someone tells us the character we want to shake hands with. He says, oh, yeah. No, I think he lives over on Mapleton Avenue.

You and I fan out and you take one... We're pounding on doors. We're counting on doors randomly going, you know, where? Open up! And so Greg took the north side of the street. I took the south side of the street. And then I'm banging on, like, my seventh door.

Door opens, there's the guy. And I'm like, hold on a second. Greg, Greg, Greg. Greg comes running. We both shake his hand. He doesn't know what's happening. He's just accepting that he's got fans from L.A. that, you know, have made the pilgrimage.

She's happy. And we did this. So. And that, but then we have to get on. The ferry has docked and is putting on cars. And that's our last chance to make our flight to get back to that fair. the one that we beat and we start running down the street trying to get to the ferry and this woman in a jeep picks us up you remember that we were we hitched like this woman we explained it to her she completely loved the got into the spirit of it she like gunned it towards the ferry went into the wrong way down a street because like the ferry line for the next ferry was already there and uh pulled us up and we had to kill her

no witnesses that was the plan still unsolved but you know so flash forward years Greg's gone on to create half the TV shows people have watched and I've gone to my foolishness and one day I get this someone tells me Ari Emanuel

the famous Ari Emanuel's online one agent to the stars he's like I just talked to Greg he told me the story of you guys he thought it would be a movie and he said it's a movie And I said very calmly, no, Ari, it's not. It's an anecdote.

It's two nerds doing something very nerdy. Yeah, if anecdote film starts making films, then maybe. But Ari's got really good instincts, and so I don't know. Maybe that should have been the next project. That would be the next thing we do. So I knew early on that you were very interested in what turned out to be stuff that most people like, which is character development, story arcs. And I was always like, what? You know, it should be a sketch that's three minutes long

and should have a masturbating bear in it. And you'd go, uh-huh, yeah, but what happens to the bear over time? And so we decide you start, I remember initially you were writing, I did an extra season on SNL, you start working on a screenplay, then you start working on these different things. I know that you worked, you did work on the Simpsons, you did work on for Seinfeld. And then you team up, you and Mike Judge, do King of the Hill, I think was the, and which was fantastic.

Thank you. That was a lot of fun. And it's coming back August 4th, season 14. Yeah. It's coming back. And you are in this period right now, a real purple patch, which is. I don't know what that means. Purple patch.

I usually means like a very creative sweet spot because. King of the Hill is coming back. You're also launching a season upload is coming to the final season of upload. August 25th. August 25th. You showed me the other day

your pilot episode, the first episode for the next generation of the office. It's a new documentary by the same crew. That's how we're describing it. Yes. It's not a reboot. It's not, it's nothing like that. You showed it to me

which I loved by the way I really loved it I like to slip you things I remember showing you in Beckett Parks and Rec and I get good feedback from Conan

Beckett said no this can't work yeah he said cartoon in Texas that's not gonna work and he was really vehement about it and he was like five

yeah I saw this this latest the episode for this latest show the pilot and it starts if I'm allowed to say there's we can

kept this out if it's not cool. But there's a moment that's very powerful where the documentary crew is trying to find. It's, well, it starts with them trying to find out what's up with Dunder Mifflin. Yeah. And they find out some stuff and it leads them in a new direction to a different city. And in the different city, they stumble upon this historic newspaper, which has kind of turned into a ghost newspaper, which I don't know if you're familiar with that, But that's when some other company buys a local newspaper and fires all the reporters and keeps it going, selling ads, but they just print wire stories. Wire stories, yeah. And so they see this and they kind of go, oh, that's an interesting subject for documentary.

And then this guy comes and he doesn't really have a lot of journalism experience. He's been selling toilet paper at another division of the company. But he loved being on his college newspaper and he wants to revitalize this newspaper. He wants to bring it back to a real paper. There's just a great scene in it that's, there's a lot about this new show that is putting a light on how much things have changed. So there's old documentary footage of the old newspaper in Toledo, Ohio. And then they contrast it and you just see 150 people working really hard on these giant machines putting out the paper. And then you see this young woman who's an important character, but she's working at the paper.

explaining to the documentary crew what they do and she's just dragging and clicking AP stories and dropping them and and then a lot of it is just clickbait there's a thing that automatically tells you is this too big an article for this page yes it is and then she has to pick a different article and I thought very smart to make it about this right now especially well it's it's um you know people have sort of counted out newspapers and there is something in the tone of the office that this sort of a poignancy of people doing their best in a situation that is not very hip or people have kind of counted them out. And this new show has got a little more maybe bad newsbears energy because they are trying to do accomplish something and, you know, and they are more inspired than the team that worked at Dunder Mifflin. And you're working with a guy who started out with me, Michael Coleman. Yes. Michael Coleman is one of my, shout out to Michael Komen, one of my all-time favorite late-night writers, brilliant guy, really funny, and he has enough on me to put me in jail because he was, uh, everybody does.

I was going to say more than so. I think I tackled him 50 times, physically tackled him. Yes, I've seen the battery, assault and battery, things that he hasn't filed. He's absolutely brilliant, and I love that you guys are behind Nathan for you. Yes. And when you think about, you know, a show like The Office, it takes like a reality format and gets high comedy out of it. I mean, to me, Nathan, for you, is like the pinnacle. So, I'm very excited to doing this with him. I'll think of myself occasionally as being very busy.

And then I look at what Greg's doing. And you're doing 15 times the amount of work that I'm doing. very rare that they all come out the same month. I mean, that's like nuts. The paper is September 4th. So between August 4th and September 4th, three things coming out. But they've been years in development and working on them and stuff. It's just random that they're... Right. Well, I noticed it... But I get at least I get an invitation here. I have to do three shows. I don't know what some of the other guests do. All three. I can't imagine they have three shows coming out. The only guests I interview have an Emmy, a Golden Globe.

you know, the whole thing, an egot. Tony, Oscar, yeah, I've been rooting for you to get on this and I've been waiting.

I know. When will Greg's career? He said, he called out Paula. That's what Conan's been saying. He said, I want to get you on, but Paula.

Paula Davis. Who we met at S&L. Yes. We met Paul at S&L the first day we showed up there in February, 1988 and I started talking to Paula and she was sitting behind a desk and she was really funny and quick and I said oh she reminds me my sister Kate I like this Paula

cut to her me hiring her the summer of 1993 to be the head booker at late night and she's still with me a barnacle that cannot be removed it's funny I I think about, I don't know about you, but I drive around Los Angeles and when I'm in New York, New York less so, because it doesn't have the same associations, but in L.A., 85, 86, 87, I'm constantly passing things, and I have a very strong sense memory of you and I being there. You went off to get your ridiculous car. I decided I need to get a different car than this piece of junk we bought at the airport. No, I got a 90

I decided I need to Oh no yeah, you got a cool car Well it isn't like a Dodge Dart or something It's a It's a Dodge Dart It's the car they drive on Dragnet Yes, that was a good one I wanted a car that looked like

I was a NARC from 1972 So I got And the thing about my It was a Plymouth Valiant Which is the same thing As a Dodge Dart pretty much And it was mustard yellow With a black interior bench seats

And when you turned it off, the engine dieseled, which means it kept going. And I remember going on a date and getting out of the car to go open the door for my date and opening the door and I had turned the car off. It was going, and it was like, and just watching it and thinking, well, this isn't going to happen for me tonight. Well, I had a window air conditioner in the passenger side. For my dates. The car's a little, it's a little side heavy. I'm trying to think of, you know, it was really fun,

which is a really nice memory for me. My hosting the Emmys, and I thought of this open that connected all the different shows that were Emmy nominated. And my favorite transition, I always wanted to think of a cool way to get from one show to the next At the time, Lost had just had its first season was a big, a huge hit, big show, everyone's talking about it.

So I wash up on the Lost. My plane crash, I'm going to the Emmys to host, my plane crashes. I wash up on the beach and I make myself, I make myself a hairdryer and get my pompadour going.

And then I walk through the jungle. I meet Hurley from Lost. We find the, what's it called? The hatch. We find the hatch. And he said, know what's down there. And I say, well, I'm going to find out. And I lower into the hatch. And I went to Hawaii and shot this. So you can, I think you can look this thing up online. I go down and suddenly

my feet kick through something and you cut to my feet going through acoustical tile on a office ceiling. And I fall down onto Dwight's desk. And it's the entire cast, that original cast of the office, suddenly I'm in the confessional area where I'm giving my testimony, whatever. Well, you'd actually been like our one celebrity guest star up to that point because you guys came to 30 Rock. We went to 30 Rock and Michael was in New York for a meeting and he was like showing all of his favorite things like his local pizza place, Sabaros. And he thought he saw Tina Faye going into 30 Rock. But it wasn't Tina Faye. He was just somebody looked vaguely like her.

But then you walked by and the camera saw you, but he missed you. He missed me. So I'm going by. I remember it's doing like two takes, and I came downstairs from my show. But that was magical for me because our different worlds, which are very diverse, came back together again. And you were directing me in your big hit show, your second big hit show. And I was, it was cool. It was really, it was like a nice happening.

Like, wait a minute. We're the same guys that we're on that. Well, maybe it's being the same age. I don't know. There's a couple things that go like that. Like you hosting the Emmys when we won an Emmy and there was something, what were you saying right before? We were both arrested at the same time.

No, but there's like things that, things happen like that. No, but there was a lot of neat little, that was a moment getting to work with you on that. And then I remembered Steve Carell. That's what I'm remembering. The Upfronts. This was hilarious. You were hosting the NBC Upfronts the year that we came out. Yeah.

And I guess there wasn't an enormous amount of overlap there, but this was so funny to me because, and this is probably inappropriate, but they, the show that they were really pushing hard was Father of the Pride. Do you remember this? Yes, they do. It was the cartoon. A cartoon based on Ziegfried and Roy. And Roy had just been, it was about their tigers. It was like, the idea was to take the Siegfried and Roy's tigers and do a family show about them and it's animated. Dreamworks, I think.

Yeah, and then Really a month before it came out, one of the tigers nibbled on Roy's face. Nippled. He just had a notch. And they were like, nope, this is actually good for the show. Yeah. I remember they were just like, nope.

They cut to him, right? Like you were on stage with all the advertisers and they decided they'd beam in Roy in bandages saying, it's okay, it's okay. Everything's okay. I don't have any ill will to my tigers. Yeah, and he was, to show that, the tiger was with him, too, heavily sedated, jaw wired shut. Anyway, yeah, there were all these moments where then our careers would come back together.

But all this time, I'll tell you one thing is, I've learned a bunch of things about Greg. One is that he doesn't want to just meet me at a restaurant and have a meal. He wants to meet me while we're doing something where our heart rate is up. So you're always saying, I like walking with people. I like walking with people. I don't love having to look into people's faces when I'm talking to them. I prefer some faces. So different.

I don't know. Sona, I might make an exception. Hey. Friendly face. But it's better. It seems better to walk like. I know, but it's parallel, right? You can talk more.

Sometimes it's a little insane where I'll say it would be really nice to sit. down and I'm hungry. I haven't eaten. You haven't eaten. We could sit down and you're like, no. I bring a bun with condiments for you. He has a big backpack filled with 33 cent buns and coleslaw and pickles. Something's never changed. Yeah. And it's just, that's still what you want to do. That's what you wanted to do in 1985. My dad always said people don't change. They become more so. And I think that's the case. I think that's what I like about character comedy, just to talk about that genre. I think that's what people like about it, is that you feel that way about your own friends.

And then to see somebody on TV, you get to know what their characters like and to see them act in character over and over again is very, you know, makes you feel like, oh, I know them. That's just like Conan. Conan's going like this with this vein popping. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Have you guys seen that?

Oh, yeah. We've seen it. I've been medicated since. Yeah, we've seen it. Well, yeah, we were back. I mean, I don't know about you, but I've enjoyed, we have a culture that, you know, says, oh, you shouldn't get, getting older is not cool. It's not good. And I just know that I'm happier now because.

Well, you're older than me, though. So, yes. This is, yes, but I was on the lampoon first. Greg, there's a two month. I'm two. April to June. April to June. It's a lot more than two months.

It's an eight-week difference between our birthdays. And Greg's favorite time of year, every year, is when I'm 50 and he's 49, and what he does is he calls me on my birthday, and he says, how are you? Are you okay? And this goes on for eight weeks. And then my favorite thing is when that time elapses, and it's his birthday, I call him up and say, ha-ha. This is really cool. This art kind of banter, doesn't it? It is like, this is like, you got to imagine Bill Burr's doing that with his friends, like, right?

He's doing much cooler things. No, I don't think so. He's doing much cooler things. I think this is maybe like what Jack Benny would do. Nope. We have. We have. We feel like a very, maybe two Mormon comedians for.

Yeah. I remember, I, very polite. It was Greg, speaking of birthdays, I'll just, we were in Westwood together. you're walking around doing nothing. And it was Greg's birthday, and I said, I've got a birthday present for you. Let's pretend we're firing our talent beams at each other as hard as we can.

And he was like, what? And I said, just each will be fine. And I blasted you and nothing happened. Then you blasted me, and I threw my coat off like I had been vaporized and stepped behind a light pole as if you were so much more talented than I that it vaporized me. And I remember you were pleased.

This was Conan's idea of a birthday present to me to one day a year suggest that I might have some talent that I could do a joke better than that. Was this recently or was this like? It could have been recently. I was going to say. I don't know. This is like

1986, but it could easily have been a couple of weeks ago. Easily. That's why I'm asking. Nothing's changed that much. I was going to say I mean, as a comedy fan, I think the reason people want Greg on here is because the fact that the two of you work together for so long before the two of you went on to astronomical success on your own is

it's very rare and it's really cool. I mean, it's cool for me to be in the room with you two just talking about this stuff. It's funny to me that, because I think back to Greg just brought up, I am a, some would say, demonic, I have a demonic, various demons and I would sit and I would be anxious and so I would grind my hands together and if I if something wasn't coming an idea wasn't coming I would I would grind Greg would lean back in his chair and he would he thought that by whipping his head side to side it would get get blood into a part of his brain and create an idea so I'd be sitting there if you just if there was a fly on the wall or a secret camera it would have seen me pushing my hair through my crazy long pushing my hands through my hair. It's very like

With Nail and I, the two of us. There's a fun reference. I was grinding, I was grinding my hands, my eye vein, my forehead vein coming out, giant hair flying everywhere. And then Greg is, I'm trying to concentrate. Greg has his eyes closed and is going, uh, uh, uh, anyone who came in there would say, you've got to medicate them both immediately, right? Yes.

Medicaid these guys. Well, I don't, I mean, usually I end these by saying, hey, excited about the new project, but you can't do that with Greg Daniels because it's last season of upload, continuation of King of the Hill, you have a new show that picks up where the office, it's the documentary crew that filmed the office has now gone forward, and they're exploring this newspaper, which is tangentially related to Dunder Mifflin. Did I forget anything? I could talk about a few other things.

Oh, my God, it's insane. I'm connected to this show Common Side Effects that people like. I love that show. You know what? I haven't talked to you about Common Side Effects because you were out of town when Beckett and I binge watched it. I didn't even know you were, I watched the first episode and loved it and then saw your name. Yes.

So I didn't know that you were involved. Mike Judge and I started an animation company about, I don't know, five, six years ago. And so we are producers. And of course, he's very involved in this because he's a voice. And it's done with this amazing animation god named Joe Bennett and Steve Healy, who was a writer on the office, who you might know. And, yeah, it's a really good show. I watched it with my daughter Nev, who loves anime. So we watched the first one. And then again, we were like, well, the next one, then the next one, then the next one, absolutely fantastic. And I started watching it, not knowing about your guy's involvement, but have you seen it?

I absolutely love it. I've seen the whole thing. And yeah, similar thing. I watched it because I love Scavenger's Rain, which I think Joe Bennett did before. And the CEO, I was like, God, that sounds like Mike Judge. Yeah. And then I was like, oh, my God, it is. And Greg Dane?

What is it? It's an amazing show about kind of conspiracies. It's very funny. the animation is beautiful. It's also really sweet. It's the best animation I've seen in a while because without giving anything away,

watch common side effects. And I've seen it on a bunch of lists as if you're, it's everywhere on these lists, these critics lists of if you're not watching this, then you're an idiot. And shout out because I know you're not just a fan of upload, David.

Oh, I'm obsessed with upload. Oh, thank you so much. It's so good. The whole concept of it and like just everything about it. It's one of those shows that once the season would end, immediately Google, when will the next one be out? No, it's tough.

Did you see season three? I did. Because season three is a, you know, dropped during the writers and actors strike. Right. And I think there's a lot of fans out there that may not have seen season three. Oh.

The first two seasons had a lot of, you know, push behind them. And then we weren't able to publicize season three. So season four is the one coming out. August 25th, and that is the final season wraps up all the stories, and, you know, if you haven't seen season three, you can go check it out now. This episode drops August 25th, too, so you can... Oh, how do you like that? Comes out today.

Upload comes out today. Oh, what a quinky thing. I wonder if a publicist was involved. Greg's publicist is Greg wearing a wig. This was cut out on the trees, I tell you? Now let's all go to Flaky Jakes for a bun. You're the Mrs. Doubtfire of publicists. Yeah, that is, and I cannot end this without saying a big shout out to your parents because your parents, and I've said this before to them, but your parents.

Well, they love you. Well, they, and they were, they said to me, finally the son we've always wanted. Exactly. No, they let us use. They still want you to go to law school, though. I know. They think I fucked up. They, your parents, uh, let us use, uh, their apartment that first crucial summer when we had no place to live.

And I, I think if they hadn't done that, I don't know what our chances would have been. But that's where we started really working together. It got me out of Boston. It got us both working together seriously. We wrote our packet. We sent it off. Um, your parents, too, though. I remember working out of your parents.

and we went to see spies like us. They were not, yeah, that's right. Boy, did we have fun. Yeah, that was a big deal. Yeah. Remember that movie? Yeah, we would see those kind of things. We would go see movies if we thought a girl in a bikini was in it.

Greg would see an ad somewhere and he'd be like, there's a girl in a bikini in the movie. We were true creeps long before the internet was invented. Spies like us, there was a girl in the poster in a full-length fur coat, and we were excited. She could see her face. There's a nun in it, but she's a girl. You could see her hands. They poke out of the sleeves. We went and saw witness because we went for the action.

That barn was erotic. Greg, we got to do this again. We've scratched the surface. No, I'm serious. There could be maybe 15 episodes where we talk about us in 8586 alone, and people would love that. Well, that remains to be seen. Let's see how this goes. Well, there's a lot of talk about us alone in the 8586.

You may get some comments. This is the most boring. I don't think so. Adam, you can weigh in. This is what people want to hear. Yeah, this is what they want. Sadly, it's what they want to hear. Sadly, it's what they want to hear.

Because you know what? It makes them feel better about themselves. Yes. Finally, you're humanized. Anyone listening to this suddenly feels like, hey, I'm a rite. I'm a stud. These turds didn't do anything. I have a couch. My car has air conditioning.

I have an air conditioner in my car, and I have a couch. I'm still going out with a Mrs. Fields girl. Well, Greg, you're going with God. You're killing it. You're killing it, and I couldn't be happier for you. Thank you. You too. Yeah. I love the show.

And you love me. I know you love me. I do. I'll say it. I'll say it. I'll say it yet. No. I love you, Greg.

Love you, Greg. Love you, Greg. Yeah. I love you, Greg. All right. Love you, back. Peace out. Tupac.

Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Gorley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. produced by Adam Sacks, Jeff Ross, and Nick Leow. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.

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