Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - It’s A Small World In Here

Episode Date: December 18, 2025

Conan talks to Anirudh in Bangalore about living amongst a “joint family” and the angry drunk email he wrote to Conan while on a date. Wanna get a chance to talk to Conan? Submit here: teamcoco.com/apply Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/conan. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit team cocoa.com slash call Conan. Okay, let's get started. Hi, Unirud. Welcome to Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Hello, Anirud. How are you?

Hello. Hey, Conan. Hi, Sona. Hi, Matt. Hi. Okay. Where are you right now, Unirud? I'm in my bedroom in Bangalore.

Very good. Very nice. Very nice. Yeah. I'm sorry. Can I just say it's so cool to see you guys. I have been watching Conan videos since I was like, I don't know, like 15 or something. And I love Sona.

I love Matt. I've seen every remote sketch and it's so cool to be here. Well, Onirud, thank you very much for being a fan. And it's really nice to talk to you. it's also just really nice to know that someone in in bangalore is is listening to us and that's just I always get a kick out of that it makes me it makes me very happy yeah well yeah of course I mean I have I mean me and my brother we do like what we call Conan bits all the time so that's sorry about that yeah I feel like I gave the world shingles yeah that's absolutely I'm really

I will tell your brother, I said hi, and that makes me really happy. I've been doing Conan Bits since I was born, so it's a problem for me, too. I know. Well, Unirud, am I saying your name correctly? I want to make sure I get that right. Yeah, that's right. We practice for an hour before we talk to you. Unirud, tell us about your situation.

Do you live with family? What's going on? Oh, yeah. So I live in something called a joint family. which is where you kind of like live with like a bunch of nuclear families all together. It's pretty common in India, less so now, but basically I live with about 15 people. Oh, wow. And we kind of are, you know, just cordoned off in three different apartments that are right next to each other.

I always like to say it's kind of like the TV show Friends or something because, yeah, that's how it feels like. You just have like a bunch of people like living really, really close together. So it's pretty chaotic. It can get quite disruptive. I mean, I know you grew up with like six brothers. Well, I'm one of six. I have brothers and sisters. Oh, you're one of six.

Yeah. Okay. But there was a good deal of chaos and madness, but in a fun way, I thought it was really fun to have. And my whole life, I've liked it when there's a bunch of people around me. That feels normal to me because of the way I grew up. And we were all in one house and smashing into each other all the time. And it was fun. until it wasn't.

Yeah, of course. But, Unirud, I'm curious. So you're talking about, there's 15 people, so you're talking about siblings, but also cousins, uncles, aunts, the whole, wow. That's right, the whole thing, the whole chabang. Yeah, it's like 15 people, and it's,

it's a nightmare to organize stuff. Yeah, like you said, it's fun. It's super fun. When you say organized stuff, what kind of stuff? Like a sack race? Like a, you know, what are you trying to organize? Yeah, like a family. family festival thing.

So, I mean, we live in India. So there's, like, a ton of festivals. And we have, like, you know, we sort of celebrate everything, like, Davali, which is, like, the festival of lights and holy, which is the festival of colors. Right. And also, we just eat out once a week every Sunday. Okay, that. I'm going to say this.

Going out to eat with my family, you know, parents, my grandmother, six kids, that was insane. because you're all around one table and especially if it was communal food like if we go to a Chinese restaurant or an Indian restaurant it was insane because someone was trying to decide what the whole table should get

and it always devolved into street fights and people stabbing each other and now I'm picturing 15 of you going to a restaurant the waiter would probably kill himself as he approached your table I mean how do you do it? Oh okay so there

is a whole process. We sort of, like, I'm responsible for selecting restaurants, booking tables, and sort of, like, you know, like, cajoling weight stuff whenever I have to. So that's kind of my job. But basically, it is chaos. It always is. It's 15 people sort of just sitting around a giant table, but sometimes we even, like, reserve or book out, like, a room in a restaurant, because that's the only way we can see. do it. And it is a lot of stabbing. It is a lot of like, oh, I ordered that thing, but this thing came over and okay, well, but that person ordered this and blah, blah, blah.

And it's just, uh, it's, it's chaos. Like, for sure. I have to cut to the chase on something. Who's the maniac? There's 15 of you. I know a name just popped into your head. You can see their face right now. Who's the one who's really out of control? He's thinking Conan. Besides me. Who's the one in your pod of 15 people who's really out there? And this doesn't have to be in a negative way, but just they're the kind of the wild card. Oh, yeah. They're just, they're the wild card. Yeah, I have, uh, I have like a couple of cousins who I think definitely fit that bill. Give me names. I want names. Are you going to be talking to them after?

No, I didn't say I was going to do that, although that's now a possibility. Well, um, I have this one cousin. We call him Fatu, which is like a sweet nickname that we made up for him. It's called fuck you. What is, um, what is he? Oh, fuck, too. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's a sweet nickname called Fuck You. Hey, fuck you. That's just, I love you. I'm sorry. It's a satellite connection. These things aren't perfect, but, yeah. Yeah, clearly you have a lot of love for fuck you. Fattu. I'm sorry, Foxxie. Go ahead. Yeah, and he's like just turning 18 and he's in that, you know, like teenage angsty phase. And so that leads to a lot of stuff. like, I mean, he asks me about, like, how to, like, talk to girls and stuff like that,

because he's never really done that before. And also at the dinner table, he kind of is the guy who always diverted the conversation to whatever he likes. I'm sure Conan, Sonai and Matt would be familiar. We know. We know. We'll get to the Civil War in a second. I'm talking about that in the second half of this discussion. And Teetam specifically.

Um, yeah, uh, so, okay, so, uh, fatu is a bit of a, I mean, he's a troublemaker. It's, but in a lovable way. He's a scamp. Oh, for sure. Okay. Yeah, he's a sweetheart. So why we call him, fuck you. Now, what's your story? Are you, uh, single, married, what's happening? Oh, okay. Um, I have a girlfriend. Uh, we met in college, thanks to you in part. What? Uh, yeah. Well, yeah. Well, yeah. Well, well. Well, I was, this was, I was a little drunk on this particular day in college.

It was like my second year in college. And we, we were friends at the time, me and my girlfriend, Irene. And we decided to write an email to ask you if you would be interested in hiring us as interns. Oh. Like a package deal? Yeah, totally, like the both of us. You know, you could pay us half each of an unpaid internship. and we'd be happy with it.

Okay, so half of nothing. I get it, yeah. Half of nothing. So, uh, how long ago was this? Oh, this was about like six years ago. Okay. So you, both of you together wrote an email asking if you could be interns, uh, on my show. Well, kind of, because we kind of like went over to the show website and we were like,

oh, you know, like international students can't really be interns or something like that. So I, I was a bit inebriated. So I wrote like an angry email that was, I have it with me, but basically it was just about the, it's titled Concerns about the Diversity of the Show in all caps. Okay, okay, fair, fair, because, yeah. And it started with this line, hey, fat too. Pretty much, it started, I mean, I was just trying to be funny, but it just started with, hey, you, yeah, you. and that's just how it's... I think it's always a fun joke

when you email someone that you think their show reeks of racism. That's always a fun fun little jake. So, all right. Don't you see, yeah. Yeah, I understand.

You can see the potential. Yes, we can all do better, I suppose. Although, oh, look, it means the United Nations in here. Jesus. She pointed at me and Eduardo. Yeah. What a diverse thing

I love Armenians I have an Armenian friend Yeah it's like it's a small world in here It really is Yeah And so the dawn is coming your way Hey you, yeah you I got an email going out to smartless

To see if I can get on that show Good luck to you Right there That's all the colors of the rainbow Those three guys It's the most diverse show I've ever seen Different kinds of white male.

You just call me Honey, that's cool. Okay, honey. I'll call you honey. All right, so you wrote a hostile, accusatory email to me, thinking that would be fun. And what was the response?

I received like a, like a, you know, like an automated response. Uh-huh. which just said, hey, your email will be read by somebody soon enough, and we'll get back to you. Okay. But, I mean, I think that someone who immediately is hostile and talks about concerns about diversity is just a great intern to have around. I think so. Well, first of all, you know, it's all fair.

And I think it sounds like we, you know, you got to, but I think the bigger issue, would have been you were writing this from India. Is that right? Yep, that's right. And so explain something to me, your, your girlfriend, Irene, was she with you in India at the time when you wrote this email? Oh, yeah. We wrote this email together. And basically that's what I consider our first date, which is writing an email. That's very nice. But what if I had written back me? I don't answer these myself. My brother does. But if you had heard that yes, you had an internship, would you have flown all the way from India to take an unpaid internship? Now that you say it, it doesn't sound smart, but I do think I would have done that.

Well, that's really nice. You met because, and it sounds like Irene's a fan. Oh, yeah. I mean, we sort of like bonded over like late-time shows. We talked about you, of course, and we talked about Stephen Colbert. And that's kind of how we started to like, get close and become friends. That's nice. Yeah, that's, yeah. Well, it sounds like you guys have excellent taste in comedy, and that's the important thing.

Yeah, you mean Colbert? Yeah. I did, actually. I did. I did. Okay. All right. Well, the whole part started off with a so your girlfriend's a fan of mine.

Well, yeah, because that's how they met. So I think that's a fair question. I feel like you were just trying to, like, reinforce the fact that she was your fan just to make sure. She's what? Like, you were trying to reinforce the... He just wants to... Gotcha. Don't do it.

So angry. Well, anyway, so she's a big fan and always has been. Honey Rood, how often... Where does Irene live now? Oh, well, she's doing a graduate degree in the U.S. She's interning at Google right now, so she's all fancy. She's out there stealing jobs and learning about tech. So...

So, that... That is, that must be difficult. That's a long-distance relationship. Yeah, that's right. As we've had ways that we sort of like adjust with that, for instance, I sort of started up a podcast of my own called The Irene Show, where like every year on her birthday, I do one episode, basically, and it's kind of like just, you know, like soundboards of celebrities and you.

I didn't mean for that to sound mean. but basically sound boards We get it And you And also you And also you Yeah no It trust me

You're just echoing the voice in my head So that's That's really sweet It seems like a very creative sweet person That's a really sweet gift And this sounds like a good relationship And I don't want to put you on the spot But is there a potential

that this relationship could go to the next level at some point? Oh my gosh Uh, yeah, I mean, her parents need to, that's, that's a scary question. But her parents, uh, her parents basically need to be okay with it. Yeah. What's their problem? Why are they not okay with it?

Uh, just Indian stuff. Come on. No. You let me handle them. Yeah. Oh, okay. Bringing his white guy in. Yeah.

He'll take care of it. Hi, I'm on smart. Hi, I'm on smartless I'm the most diverse member of SmartList And I'd like to say That you need to give Unirud a break Well, I think, have you met them?

Yes, but I mean, they didn't know we were dating Basically, I've met them a couple of times As a friend and her dad's like this really, really strict guy He's kind of like just super quiet, assertive And manly and I'm not So we don't really get along very well, but yeah. Well, I think most dads, I think, just want their daughter to be with someone who's a really good person, and that's you. So I don't think, I don't foresee an issue.

I just don't. And if there is an issue, I'll intervene, okay? Okay. And that will mean nothing to your dad, to your father-in-law, who sounds like you'd be quite hostile to me. Anyway, please, I think you meet. You don't like me, but talk to this manly man, Conan O'Brien. Where is it? What's going on?

Do you want to hear about Antietam? Yeah. Let's talk about the Civil War. It was a war of attrition. You must be here for my wife's book club. It's out back. Oh, did you say book club? Yeah, I did.

Do you have any Huckleberry tea? Oh, not another one. Making my sounds again. Well, listen. Um, Unirud, uh, you, uh, or uny, as I call you, or, uh, um, of course in the yellow page is Rude comma uni. Um, I, uh, I'm just losing my mind. We're wasted invaluable time here. Is it really valuable? What are we doing after this?

Don't we just play cards after this? Go fish. Yeah, I want to get to those. Yeah. Uh, only, you, uh, listen, I'm, I'm, I'm excited for you, uh, you sound, I'm lucky to have such a smart, cool fan and, um, please give my best. to Irene and tell her that I approve of you. I think you're fantastic. That's really sweet. Tell, was it Fatum? Fatu.

Is that right? Yeah, Fatu. Okay, tell Fatu that he needs to settle down. But this is, no, I wanted to sew his wild oats now. I want him to enjoy being the madman of this 15. He's 18. Yeah, exactly. I mean, hey, man, you were nuts all through your 20s.

Yes, I was. to your 30s. Yeah. Still nuts. Let it live. Yes, exactly. Mom. What you saying?

Sorry. What? Anyway, lovely talking to you, Unirud, and have a great day. Okay? And I hope our paths crossed someday because I think we'd have a good time. Oh, yeah, I absolutely agree. I think it's just bound to happen in some way. I don't know why I said that.

I'm not like spiritual or anything, but I think so. No, it's going to happen. It's like anything else. You have to manifest it like Oprah says. Yeah. You've got to manifest it and it will happen. Yeah. And you know where I live and you've already sent me a threatening email.

So we've probably already had you investigated. Yep. Yeah. I'm on a list somewhere. Yeah. Free say that proudly. Oh, I'm on a list. All right.

One of me, Rood, take care. Nice talking to you. Bye-bye. Nice speaking to you guys too. See you. Conan O'Brien needs a fan. with Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley.

Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising producer Aaron Blair, Associate talent producer Jennifer Samples, Associate producers Sean Doherty and Lisa Byrne. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Get three free months of SiriusXM

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