Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Janelle James

Episode Date: September 22, 2025

Actress, writer, and comedian Janelle James feels excited about being Conan O’Brien’s friend. Janelle sits down with Conan to discuss her breakout role as Ava Coleman on Abbott Elementary, falling in with a crowd of all-star comics, and her family’s unexpected reaction to her TV stardom. Plus, Conan, Matt, and Sona offer wise words to a distracted student as they Review the Reviewers. For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com.Got a question for Conan? Call our voicemail: [phone]. Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/conan. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hi, my name is Janelle James, and I feel excited. About being Conan O'Brien's friend. I heard he has a lot of money. I did, and I invested it badly. Can I redo my? No, I'm just going to be it. Fall is here, hear the yell, back to school, ring the bell, brandy shoes, walking loose, Climb the fence, books and pens

I can tell that we are going to be friends I can tell that we are going to be friends Hey, welcome to Conan O'Brien needs a friend I'm coming in with a lot of energy I've been away for a little bit I was in Boston, my old hometown of Brookline, Mass. Oh, how was that? It was great.

Got to see a bunch of my peeps, my old gang that I used to run with. What were you guys called? What's that? What was your gang called? Oh, it was a pretty tough gang. We wore Lacos shirts. Oh, studied hard for our PSATs.

Yeah, we were the PSAT gang. Oh, cool. That's tight. That's cool. So scary. Yeah, it was really scary. Yeah. We used to run around.

Sometimes we'd just maladjust someone's cap on their head without their permission. No way. Did you give it a little twist? What's that? Did you have a nickname in the gang? Mine? Yeah. I guess.

I don't want to talk about it. It's a little. It's a little, you know, it's a past life. You don't want to go back to that. They used to call me Colonel Baum. Colonel Baum. Yeah, he was a Revolutionary War General, and he was a German. Is this what the gang was like?

Everyone had to be named after a different Revolutionary War General. He was a German who was sent to fight on behalf of the British, and he was ambushed, I think, up in New Hampshire. So you guys would rumble and just you would come to victory by boring people? Yeah, pretty much. much. But I was Colonel Baum, and you just had different people who were different members of the British fighting forces. Cool. That's so cool. It's the coolest gang. Yeah, sexy, too, a little sexy. So hot. If anyone got laid, they were kicked out of the gang. It's the number one rule. And yet no one did. No, we lost one good guy that way. Oh, really? Yeah, and he just came

looking at a woman on screen, but that counted. Any orgasm of any kind meant you were out of the gang. Even on your own? Yeah, but you know what? Colonel Baum here. Still in the gang. Still in the gang to this day. Wow. Yeah. Still in the gang. There been a couple of times where I've seen an ad for Coco and an attractive woman is serving it.

Yeah. And I'm like, lo, restrain oneself. It's just you and all these 15-year-olds. Yeah. The new hires. Yeah. Anyway, no, it was, you know, good to get back there. And I have to say, wandering around Newbury Street in Boston, I mean, it's so many people who listen to the podcast to

all said, hey, tell Matt, tell son I said hi. That's nice. They said it in those accents. But still, the message came across. And I heard a great phrase, which is Newbury Street. You remember Newberry Street? It's where all the shops are in downtown Boston. And I heard a great phrase. And I attribute this to the singer from the Mighty Money Boston's, Dickie Barrett, announcer for Kimmel for many, many years. Someone took a footage of me walking down Newberry Street while I was there and put it up. People in Boston were seeing it and saying, hey, I saw you on Newberry Street. And Dickie Barrett told my brother Luke. He was like, damn, I just saw this footage of Conan

and kind of in the vein of why can't they leave him alone, you know? Yeah. And he said, you know, guy can't even shoot the noob in peace. And that was, and I was like, shoot the noob. Walk down Newbury Street is shoot the new. Oh, that's cool. And I thought that is the coolest phrase. And just to shout out to Boston, next time, maybe this is something they all say.

I didn't know that. Shoot the new. But I doff my cap to Dickie Barrett who said, shoot the noob. Conan can't even shoot the nob without people giving them a hot time. Do you say it now? I say it all the time. Do you ever shoot the larch? You're on Larchmont?

No. You can't. You can't, no. No, it's not the same. Yeah, yeah. You can, yeah, it's not the same. But shoot the nob. The Monde.

So Liza joined me on the trip. I started saying maybe every 20 minutes the way I do. Oh, no. You want to shoot the nob? Hey, Liza, we're shooting the nob. Let's go shoot the nob and maybe I'll find an orthotic insert. Oh, you're awful. I'm awful, and she got to a point where she's like, just no more shoot the nob for a while.

But I love shoot the noob. So if you're in Boston or you're going to visit Boston, I want to do a public service announcement for the city that says, hey, when you're in Boston, shoot the nob. Hey, you just did it, I think. They're going to just clip that out and, like, use it for tourism. Not without my permission. Oh. And the cost, $15 million. Whoa.

Yeah. I'll do it. Yeah. Shoot the name. Boston. Oh, this is my Boston. Hey, Boston, shoot the noob. Hey, that's your Boston.

Shoot the noob. Shoot the wicked noob. Hey. Wicked pisser. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know how to do Boston. No, you did it. That's the whole, it's the attitude.

Shoot the wicked noob. What are you doing? What are you doing? Shoot the wicked noob. Hey, I'm from Boston. Hey, isn't it? No one goes, eh. It's a pretty good Gilbert Godfrey impression.

Yeah. Go sock. Go shoot and say shoot them. Knoob and then say Aflac. Affleck. Oh, let's go to Fenway Pack and shoot the noob. I want to get that. Maybe it's a thing they all say, but I love it.

We got to think of something for Larchmont, but nothing, noob. Nothing's going to. Larch. Let's larch it up. No. March the Larch. March the Larch. March.

March the larch. No. He just went for that and then you said it was dorky. You don't march. Anything with March, I think sounds a little dorky. Yeah, and a little fascist. Oh, that's true. They must march.

the larch. Yeah. I don't like it. Okay. What about lope? Loep the larch? What do you mean lope the larch? Loap?

Yeah. Lope? You know, like, the word lope? You know what I love? Oh, no. You know what my favorite blay quality is? When you choose to seize the mic. That's my favorite quality of yours.

You lurch forward and you seize the mic as if you just cracked E equals MC squared. Lurch the larch. Oh. Oh, no. Stretch your arch on the larch. You know? Yeah. Wait, that, you go for that way.

Stretch your arch on the large. That's not. Arch it on the large. That's like a public service announcement. Guys, all I know is that when I was in Boston, you know what I did? Ask me what I did. What'd you do? You can't do it that way.

You can't say shop the noob. No, it doesn't work. Hey, what are you going to do tonight? Shoot the noo! Oh, he's going to shoot the noob! Hey! Then we packed! And then get a Remy dog.

I don't know what that is. What is that? Okay. What's a Remy dog? It's a hot dog. Oh, that's it? Jerry Remy. It's a Jerry Remy.

Don't say who's Jerry Remy. That's going to piss me off. Okay. Say it again because I need to ask it. Who's Jerry Remy? Second baseman. Boston Red Sox. Iconic.

Also a great announcer. An inventor of the Remy dog. He made hot dogs. What's special about the Remy dog? This is named after Jerry Remy. What did he do with it? It's infused with the essence of Jerry Remy. That's all you need to know.

Like his ashes? Or his. Okay. This is getting dark. And I don't like that. Is he dead? He has passed on to his great reward, but somewhere he's in heaven eating and sharing a Remy dog with Christ. Wait a minute.

There's nothing like he didn't add in the media. He probably did. This is getting into stuff that I'm sure is proprietary to the Remy family. And I don't want to get into that. Okay. Listen, we are shedding listeners because we're getting way too local, way too parochial. We can't do that. We've got to open it up.

You did the shoot the noop thing. I know. I know. And I thought we got away with it. And then we went down this wormhole of Jerry Remy, Remy dog, Fenway Pock. This is all important stuff to me. Yeah. But we are shedding people right now.

You guys want to talk about Wittier? Yeah, Wittier. Yeah. Whittier College. Richard Nixon, baby. That's where we met Pat Nixon at the theater. That's right. Yeah.

Yeah. The Rocky Cola Cafe in Uptown. It's gone now. Wittier. Whittier, where the girls are prettier. That's right. Yeah. And never shittier than in Whittier.

What exactly is never shit? Show your tittier on Whittier. Oh, come on. Look, all of these were circulating in Whittier many, many years ago. I'm sure they are, yeah. Show your tidier? I'd pity her, were she from Whittier. You could say, show that you are tidier in Whittier.

Okay. How are you titier? You got more tittier? You have like four? Guess what? I'm running this through the latest advanced chat, GBT, and it says this is the worst segment ever on a podcast. Okay, well, you said tittier and witty. I'm just trying to figure out how you think I contributed any good to this.

Okay. But I did shoot the noop. All right. Let's get into it. Let's do it. All right. My guest today is a hilarious actress, writer and comedian who stars Ed's principal Eva Coleman, such a funny character in the hit ABC series Abbott Elementary.

She is so good. I'm thrilled. She's here today. Janelle James, welcome. First of all, I'm going to describe the vibe here right now. You can maybe see it if you're watching this on video. I feel like I'm smoking you out now. What is this that's happening right now?

You've lit some incense. You never know who entered the room before you. You know what I mean? And I wanted a clean slate with my new friend Conan O'Brien. So I brought some incense. This is nice. What is the scent we're getting here? This is Palo Santo.

Okay. Yeah. What are we getting from this sense? I'm not a connoisseur of sense. Cleansing. Cleansing. Good energy A little

Jump-off talking point Yeah That's great If that was the scent Jump-off talking point For a podcast Icebreaker This is a

Hints of Icebreaker Some tones of funny bit we could do It does feel like a small fire broke out In a podcast studio If any time you want me put it out I am no I'm liking this right now It's going right towards you

So you probably need some plans I was going to say what is mean It's sensing a black hole of me Yeah it's weird There is no like There's no wind in here It's just seriously going straight to here It's going right to my fat head

That's why I moved it And it's going right to you No matter where you move it It's going to come to me Because it senses a vacuum here It senses Are you anxious today? Am I just anxious in general?

Yes. Facts. Same. That's why I walk around with incense like a widow. Well, let me paint the picture. It's still going right to it. Conan, let us pray. Every time you move it, the smoke makes a beeline.

It did a U-turn. Must-heel creature. Must-heel creature. That is weird. She said it's for cleansing, right? Yeah, it is. What's a cleansing over here? It's not working.

Yeah, it's got a lot to do. You need to bring in a giant bundle of these and light them all at the same time. I'll do the whole studio for you. So, Janelle, I'm at this event, and I practically run smack into you. Facts. So, what's that?

Facts. Yeah. Yeah. You did. Almost run right into me. I did. You know, I see attractive women sometimes. I just try and do the old.

Hey, what the heck. Sorry, I bumped into you. I love you. And you can't get me too, you know? It was just I bumped into you. No, it was an accident. And here I am. That's the worst.

Yeah. That's your worst. Wow. I ran into you. I was so happy to see you because you're very funny and you're very funny in an original way. Oh, I appreciate that. And I was so happy to cross paths with you. And you were there, David.

I was. And I said, I must have Janelle on the podcast. Yeah, you called me over immediately. I called you over immediately and said, can you just make this happen? and you said, well, I don't think I can. You started fomfring. It's so nice to have you here. He was real standoffish.

You were nice. Yeah. He was like, I don't know. I remember. I try to be as true as possible. Yeah. Well, you know what's nice is Matt Corley is out today. That's not the nice part.

Boy, what a nice break. Poor Garley when he edits. We all love Matt Gorley, but you are sitting in instead, David. And you're a big fan. You're a big fan of Janelle. As is Sona. Yep. As am I.

So we've got, I mean, you've got a packed house right here. Eduardo over there. Big fan. I appreciate. I feel about. I feel about. Blay, not so much because you're not in Star Wars. Oh, yes.

Yes. That's manifest. Okay. As I said, your portrayal of Ava on Abbott Elementary, it brings me a lot of happiness because I think it's very tricky thing to pull off the self-involved, maybe, the, not a villain. I'm not going to say villain, but a character. For a sitcom, I'm a villain. For a sitcom, you're a villain. And so you're walking this line, but you do it beautifully. And in a way where I think this is great, this character is inept, vain glorious, has all these flaws, but you're very funny doing it consistently funny. And you keep hitting different notes. And I'm just very happy. Well, thank you. Yeah, I'm really happy for you. Wow. Yeah. I don't.

My opinion might not mean anything, but seriously. What are you talking about? I don't know if you saw the WG Awards last year, and I had a joke in there where I said, what's funny about late night? And I said, I don't know. Is Conan here? He's funny. And I got a little flag for that.

I am a huge fan of yours. I'm a huge fan of yours. And your opinion, that really made me a day. Well, you know, I'm also, I know that your story is a great story. It really is a great. It is. You came to your success after a lot of hard work and struggle, and I love those stories. I really do.

I think I just won a contest, but I think, but how did you win? What did you do before you won? Yeah. Well, I was a male stripper. Okay. I was in Thunder Down Under, and Lauren Michaels saw me grinding it. Don't. I knew he was in it at.

Don't disparage the name of Thunder from Down Under, please. Or Lauren Michaels. Well, yeah, that too, but more importantly, thunder from down under. No, but let's just talk about the backstory a little bit, because you're born in St. Thomas in the Virgin Islands. I am. What was? You were. You're still being born.

We're all still being born. Hey, if you think about it. Do you, at what age do you start to think I'm funny? Oh, shoot. Always? No, not until adulthood. Really? Yeah.

I don't think I was a. Yeah, everybody get that class clown question or whatever. I was not a class clown. Yeah, I don't, I don't, I know I was like always a jerk, you know, like a smart ass. Right, but you don't know if I could make your friends laugh. I don't remember. I don't know if I'm just old. I don't remember like it's all this incense.

Facts. Could be. Okay. Yeah, I don't remember. I don't remember until adulthood people being like, you're hilarious. I don't, yeah, I don't. Yeah, I don't, I was like a nerdy bookworm growing up, but I've always just been. I'm sensing a kindred spirit here.

Yeah, I've just always been an adult business. I know that, like listening to what's going on, curious about everything, and then having something to report. That was my thing and just being, like, sarcastic with it. And I think I became funny, so just people would listen to me, stay all my facts that I knew. That works. It's a survival instinct. Yeah, yeah.

You move... How old are you when you move to... 16. And you moved to Maryland? Yeah. And then I was there for a year and then I moved to New York. Because I loved Madonna.

And she had that movie. She had that song, Come to New York. Come to New York. What was that? Who's that girl? I remember watching that when I was like five or something. Like just being obsessed with her and being obsessed with New York

and was like, I'm going to move there. And just like be like Madonna. Just like bopping down the street. even having in New York life. And so moved to New York, did every hustle in the book that people do. Well, let's hear some of the hustles because... Man, I worked in a salon in a fashion industry.

I worked in a law firm. I worked hosting in many restaurants, a waitress in many restaurants. I worked in many here salons as receptionist and like shampoo girl and all those things. I worked at Oh, frick, what's the Howard Stern strip club?

You know what I'm talking about. Is it named after him? No, what is that? Scores. Scores. Scores. I worked at Scores as a humidor, which is a cigar girl.

Oh, so that means you walk around with a tray of cigars. Too prudish to get naked, but I wish I did when I still had that body. But, yeah, humidor. Yeah. I was a humidor guy when I was in Thunder Down Under

Oh God Yeah They wouldn't let me take my shirt up I did once And three people went to the hospital You blinded them They were like I see a lot of white

And then blue veins Am I dead? Yeah What else did I do? I started I started many like home hustles I taught sewing lessons in my house. I threw like parties in my house for like entry because I had no furniture.

So I was like, what can I do all this empty space in this apartment? I threw parties. I started a personal chef. This is when a- So enterprising. Because I grew up, my dad had a restaurant so I know how to cook. I don't like to anymore. So I knew how to cook.

And I'm just like, what skills do I have there can I turn into money? That's what New York was for me. And so I started this. This is when all the. the startups were going like we work and all that

shit open so I started doing like personal chef for all these like you know eight person offices I would go in and cook lunch

for them and I will cook your food then wash your hair whatever you need then offer you a cigar whatever you need baby that was called the joy of not cooking

I just remember that so yeah many things and in between there got married had a baby and then I moved to follow the man

to the Midwest, which is where I started comedy. Okay. Yeah. So the whole time that you're doing, what you call hustles, just jobs, you're doing all these different jobs, you're trying everything. Sometimes at the same time. Yeah.

And you are, you know, you're earning your way. Is it in the back of your head while that's all happening? I've got to get into a performing life? No, not at all. Not at all. Wow. So my ex-husband, he would say, so when I had that empty apartment, he would come over and we would, you know, imbibe.

we would get high and I don't know how else to say that and I'd be running my mouth as I do and he would say you're hilarious he's he's the first person I remember being like oh you should do something with that and I'm like what a clown like what do I do being hilarious it never crossed my mind yeah it really it really didn't performing or I never did like stage play nothing nothing performance wise life is the performance I will say my dad had a like a restaurant on the beach That's where I grew up. We started as a food truck and then it turned into a restaurant.

And so our performance, me and my siblings, of which I'm the oldest of nine, we were the kids that come up to you on vacation and sell you shit. That's my first performing. Like, hey,

aren't you thirsty? You have to be able to talk. Yeah. You know, like, oh, quench your thirst with this bucket of Baccari or whatever, you know. So we were always performing like, oh, we're just poor island kids,

you know, that kind of thing. So I've always been like outgoing in that way. So you're in the Midwest, and you decide you'll go to an open mic night? What did you do? Yep, somebody handed me a flyer in the grocery store, and I came home. I put it on the table, and my ex-husband said, what's that? And I was like, some guy handed it to me. He was like, you should go, like, because, you know, I went there for him.

he was going to school. And so I didn't, I hadn't really been leaving the house or anything. So he's like, you should go, go outside. And I went and I watched it. It was my first time seeing a comedy open mic. I had no idea like how comedians start or practice or anything like that. Or that happens. And I was laughing.

So they wanted me to come back. They were like, come back next week. And by the way, you can do some time. You can do four minutes if you want next week. And I was like, what does that mean? They told me, you write your material. You can do four minutes. And so that's what I did.

I came back the next week. I did four minutes. I got my first laugh. I was like, this is it. I loved it. And I just started doing it every week. Started hanging out with those dudes, like five white boys. We started traveling around.

Yeah, not in a van. We were in a Volvo station wagon. Going to like the different clubs around. Did you work out a set? I did. Or did you have a lot of improvised improvisation in your set? No, no. I was really like, so my, at that time, my dad was dying.

and I think a lot of comedians start from some traumatic, you know, shit. And so I was just kind of working that out sort of my first 10 minutes or whatever that I built up was about my dad dying. And but then also like a lot of starting comedians, I started getting like book gigs like, yeah, I got 30 minutes, you know, that kind of thing. And so I had to improvise in that way, but I don't, I don't think I was good, but I was doing it. So, yeah. And then, yeah, my home club is the jukebox comedy club. love in Peoria. I started hanging out there. That's the home of Richard Pryor, if you don't know. And that's where I met, like, all the traveling comedians. And the first person to take me on the

road was Todd Barry, who saw me there. And then where I was was a college town. So all the big comics would come through. And so Todd then told Rob Delaney, I was going to open for Rob Delaney. Todd told him, like, make sure you watch your opener. And I remember, like, doing my set. And Rob Delaney's like at the back of the room with his arms crossed. And then he was like, hey, do you want a tour tour with me so I went with him and he was like huge on Twitter then and so I got to like two years in duties like sold out 3,000 you know see back to back shows with him and then Hannibal I just started going with different people and so by the time I got back to New York Todd had said hey if you ever in New York look me up and I showed up and I was like remember

you said he was like no I'm no man oh no hey man hey man No, man. But since you're stalking me, coming to my birthday party, and that's where I met Eugene Merman, and then I started hanging out with them, and Kristen Shal, and all those people. There's this, I think it's a common story. I can certainly relate to it. You spend your early years in what feels like the wilderness, and you're wandering around, you don't think anyone's like you, and then you get into a certain little, I don't know,

tide pool or something, and you meet one person, and then there, That seems to be the reality for a little bit. And then you meet one other person, another person. And suddenly you're wired into this community. Yeah. And it's a beautiful thing. I was like, whoa, comedians are, you know, I don't know about cool, but yeah. Yeah.

Let me see. Todd Berry. Eugene Merman. As cool as can be. But like laughing and hanging out. Sure. The extended adolescence. You know, I luckily came in when everybody was on the wagon.

And so I missed all the alcoholism and drug shit. There's still time. Yeah. I'm sure. But, you know, that's interesting because everyone you've mentioned is a really funny, Hannibal. All these people you're mentioning are unique, funny people. And so you start, it's also a school. Yeah.

Because you can watch other people and you can understand different rhythms. And I always think it's the same thing as music. I mean, you're just around. I mean, I always say after I met Todd, I did Todd Barry. for like a year, very stoic, didn't move around. Yeah, yeah. And he taught me a lot about the road, how to get paid, make sure you're getting paid.

Like, those two things are the most important. I've worked with Todd, and he is very good at getting paid. They're getting paid. Him and, him, man. Yeah. Todd, you haven't done it yet. Him and in. Yeah, like, don't get fucked over by these clubs. And, yeah, I learned stuff from everyone. And so, yeah, I feel like I have a, it was the best entry into this, you know,

business for me, somebody who's already an adult, you know. And super focused because right at that time I missed, I started missing, like, a lot of shit with my kids, like, as entertainers do. And so I was very focused because I was like, this has to be worth it, you know. Yeah. So you didn't, it's, you weren't thinking about Abbott Elementary. You weren't thinking about the character of Ava. This was something that came to you. And you didn't even jump at it right away.

No. I, so we, I got that audition during the pandemic. I always thought, so I hadn't really thought about acting my whole goal at that time. was I want to be Chris Rock. I had just come off. My last tour was touring with Chris. And I was like, this is amazing, you know. And so I was like, this is my goal. And so I would get auditions from our agents and I would just kind of fuck around with them, like, especially if I thought it was stupid or whatever. I wasn't ever like pressed to get into the, get on screen. I was like, if it happens, it will. And then I always thought, one of my friends would get a show and bring me

over like Adam Sandler does or whatever. So when I got that script, I really liked it. which is rare, you know, to read a poll and like, oh shit, this is amazing. And so I remember I wrote Quinta on Twitter and I was just like, your pilot is so good. I know how hard that is to do. I've been trying to write one myself and failing. And she was like, thanks. I said, I think I'm going to audition for Ava. And she said, I didn't know you act. And I was like, I don't know if I do. But I'm going to. I don't know. I'll try. I love how honest you are. You're not talking, you're not selling yourself for talking your way into it. You're saying, oh, I have no idea. I was really just trying to compliment. I was really.

impressed. I was like, I'm laughing out loud. I could totally see this. And I remember telling my agent, like, even if I don't get this, this is going to go. It's going to go with or it without me. And it was in the middle of the pandemic. So I wasn't, I thought we were going to die. I wasn't really trying to do much of anything. Truly. Yeah. So I had the audition like in my hands for like six weeks. And the deadline passed. I kept asking for extensions. And I just, I didn't have the motivation. I was depressed. I was surprised. And then finally, my agent was like, are you sure?

Like, I really think, you know, did it? I was like, fine. I had to, like, pull out all the, I couldn't find my ring lights. I had my son, like, holding a floor lamp towards me, you know, for lighting. And then I just, yeah, I sent in the self-tape, and then I got a call back. So, yeah, that's how it happens. And then I did four subsequent, like, Zoom auditions. The highest compliment you can pay someone is, I cannot imagine that character being

someone else. Thank you. In any alternate universe, you're still playing that part. Thank you. I mean, that's how I feel. That's how I feel like it's meant to be because again, I waited so long. Everyone had already auditioned. It kind of worked out for me in that they were still looking for the person. It was like, oh, this latecomer. And then I found out Quinta once I did my initial, she just kept sending me up. They were like, well, can we get a name? Who else do you have? She was like, it's this person. It's this. So she kept. So it kind of worked out that I waited. And yeah, I do totally feel like it's meant to be, which is how I like everything in my life to work. Well, I don't want to chase anything.

Yeah, but that's the thing, too, is that I feel like you probably, after all these experiences you've had, not just as a stand-up, but all these experiences you had just trying to make your way in the world, that all, none of that's wasted. That all goes into your ability to look at this character and say, here's what I would do with this. Yeah. And also, what's the word? Is it empathize?

I don't know if it's, but yeah, she's a hustler at the end of the day. Like that's really what I took out of her ethos. Like she has, same thing like me, multiple businesses going, even though she's a principal. Why does she own a party bus? Exactly. She has a thriving TikTok shop. You know, she has a rotating closet in hers. You know, she's doing everything.

when she unveils the sign that she spent thousands of dollars for a, for a public school that's very much in need of funding. You spent it on a sign that you're on. But, you know, inspiring? Yeah. It's really what I was trying to. That's the word I wrote down right here. She was trying to do. Thank you. Thank you. Because I don't know anything about. Because what is a thousand dollars when you need millions is how I. But you know, the, I think empathizes the right word because you're saying, these characters don't work if you also don't like them and the fact is

if you just looked at this at the character of Ava on paper I don't know that you would see anything that you would like but your portrayal of her I see a lot of qualities she is fearless she completely believes her own bullshit

my favorite characters in comedy are deluded elitistical it's to me it's that's the entertainment industry, baby. Yeah, yeah. It got to be delusional.

People that, I mean, to me it goes back to Peter Seller's Clousseau or Don Knott's as Barney Fife. People that don't have the skills, they don't really have any of the backing that they need. They completely believe in themselves 100%. I think that's a difference between me and her. Like, she has like almost unearned confidence. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think my, just the coming up in stand-up, it's, and,

How I, I mean, them shows I did in the Midwest were horrible, you know. I'm doing like BFWs with like a full house of white men just staring at me with their arms crossed. Like, so nothing once I got to Hollywood and acting is scary anymore, you know. And I also had the backing of like the grace. Like I've had Chris Rock tell me like, yo, you're the real deal. Like, so these are, these are the things that are taking, giving me the confidence to do, you know, this character, which is, you know, my first role. Yeah, it's kind of unbelievable, but it makes sense to me because early on I always insisted What I had was my mind and I thought, okay, I can develop these other things, but I want to be in control. I don't want to go around and say, I'm a blank slate. Someone please cast me. I knew that I had to form this personality, this Conan thing. I kind of knew what it was and I just kept doubling down on it.

it. And I think your story is very inspirational to me because I see you finding yourself and you get to- If you make me cry, so where to go. Again, I'm going to give the credit to the tie stick you brought. Not only you're going to cry, I'm going to cry and vomit blood. Just smoke eyes. Again, do you need me to put it? No, I love it. I can't tell when you be in.

He's usually not serious. I know. I've never said a serious thing in my life. So that's what I mean, him being out. I love it. You mean anything. No, no, no. Excuse me just one minute.

No, but you took control. I think that has informed everything you've done is you deciding no I'm not going to chase anything I'm going to develop I mean what I would think was my worst nightmare would be to be quote unquote trapped in a character you know like you're saying you developed your own thing so and I'm in as many standups are as like I'm a thing on to myself like I ain't me you know that yeah so then to come to this play this character who's become her own thing really like fuck me out for the first couple seasons and now I'm like I have to come back to I like this person I think she's interesting how did it screw you up a little bit people

saying that I'm that person. I see. That type of thing, which I've now intellectualized is, oh, that's how well I'm doing that people think that I am her. Right. So people meeting you and thinking

you're a deluded, egotistical narcissist. Yeah, yeah. I get that, too. Yeah. You like that Conan guy. No, that's my character. But also having to like realize

having to realize, having to realize, realize that they admire it. Like, yeah, we're saying it as, like, a negative. And they're like, I love that you're this deluded narcissistic. All person, you know. I always think comedy writers, I know in my career, when I was on The Simpsons, I only wanted to write for Mr. Burns.

I only wanted to write the villain. The villain. It was so much fun that they had to tell me you can't pitch another Mr. Burns story. All your ideas are about Mr. Burns because he's, you know, he can be infinitely evil. He can have vast amounts of money. He can have robots in the basement. It's this whole world, and it's the same thing with Ava, where she can... Anything.

She's almost a cartoon. Yeah. You can come up with all kinds of stuff for her, the hello sign that she aims towards herself. I love it. And I did that to make myself laugh. The Quinta was like, leave it. You know, so it works out. Right, because someone tried to change it.

Someone tried to say like a set... I did it like, ha. Isn't that funny? like it's facing me and then I was like, all right, let me put it back. She was like, no, put it back.

That's hilarious. You know, so it's like, yeah, no greeting for the outsiders. It's for me. It's you saying hello to yourself. To myself. And explaining who you are. Yeah.

Yeah, it's such a little touch. I love it. And I love that it's stuck and people, yeah, yeah. But that becomes catnip for writers because it's, I think one of the reasons your character just sort of took on

a life of its own is there's no end to it. People can have a lot of fun saying, oh, wait, I just thought of something that Ava could be doing. I mean, people watching the show can think of that. So that goes back to me being like, oh, no, I'm stuck in this character. I'm really not because she can do anything. I think more

than any of the other characters who are very like they are their, you know, ethos and their character, Ava can switch up at any time and it won't be a bit, it won't be a surprise. You're waiting for the, for the switch up, you know. Were you happy when, uh, your former boyfriend was revealed to be a, oh, Iguodala? Is that what you're talking about? Yeah. Yeah. Was I happy?

No, I mean, he's just so hot. Sure. Quince actually ran that by me. What do you think about this guy? And I liked that he was married because I was like, oh, less instance for sexual harassment. And I was like, oh, a family man who's also a tall, attractive ball player who wouldn't want that in their lore. That's her lore. That she only dates after.

Which you can keep adding to. Yeah. I mean, she founded the roots. know if you've heard it. And like, no one believed that you knew Questlove and then you showed up. I don't know how many time I got to bring it to these motherfuckers. That's what I like about her. She's like, she says things and then it turns out to be true.

That reminds me so much of, I grew up in Boston and Red Sox, of course, are everything. And the star pitcher was this guy, Louis Tiant, and we had this, I got to be careful here, so I don't get anyone in trouble. I had a teacher who will go unnamed, who was just a character and was always spinning stories about hanging out with Fidel Castro in Cuba and escaping Cuba and being shot at and swimming across the ocean to get to America. You just thought nothing he's saying is true. And he used to talk about how his good friend was Louis Tion, who was the biggest star in Boston. We thought, bullshit, you know, whatever, man. And one day, we're all having class. We're on the first floor.

ting, ting, ting, ting, and a hand is wrapping on the window and it's wearing a giant pennant ring. No. And we look over and it's Louis Tiont banging on this teacher's window and he goes like, hey guys, I got to go outside and talk to El Tiante and goes outside. And suddenly I realized he is friends with Castro. Everything else is true.

Everything is true. But it's the same thing. Yeah, and now he's a teacher. And it's just like, yeah. Yeah, I'm like, this character, another reason I was mad about the character being characterized with this character is like, I'm like, this is the least interesting thing about me, you know, is playing this part. So I had to like get over that. Yeah. And realize that that means I'm doing a good job, yeah, that comedian ego shit.

Do you like the part now? You're very well known. It's a hit show. Your character really pops. Do you like being recognized and how do you handle that? because you're not someone who was three years old saying, I've got to be recognized. That wasn't you.

So how do you do it? Again, I had a very rough first couple of seasons, just wrapping my head around all of this, you know? And because you said it wasn't anything I ever, like, actively pursued. And then comedians are like, especially stand-ups, we're like contrary loners, you know what I mean? And then to have people think, that I'm this character, which I know comes with a performance.

Like, that's how we're different in that. She wants to be famous. And so people approach me as, like, this must be great for you that I'm recognizing you because that's what you want because you're that character. So that was hard for me. Yeah. And so now I've gotten better because I just stay in the house. What a healthy approach.

I saw a therapist. Everything's better. And the therapist said, don't leave the house. Everything's better. No. No, it's been, it's been wild. I do that. Yeah, therapists. I have two now. They just talk to each other now. Yeah, like, oh, what's going on with this, bro? Yeah. And then I don't want to feel, because then people take that as ungrateful because people think that that's what they want or you wanted fame. I'm like, I just wanted money and to have fun, not to have to perform every time I leave the house, which it does feel. feel like a performance. Like, even when people, I'm glad that I'm a villain that people like to see. That's one thing, you know. So everybody's approaching me with like happiness and joy, but that's still like

so much energy output for me when I'm just trying to go get some dog food or something. I hope you have a dog. That's all I get to say. That shit is good. Have you tried it? All the actresses are on the dog food diet now. That gets out. And everyone's eating dog food. It works. Oseptic, who? Yeah.

Are you on dog food? Are you on dog food? All your nutrients? Found Alpo in your garbage can. Do you? I mean, how do you deal with it? You've been doing that forever. I know.

I know. We ran into each other because I was running up on you. Like, you know, so I, how do you feel about it? I was like, that's going to know, Brian. I'm very happy that you came running up on me. That didn't happen a lot before I got famous. Women weren't running up on me. And so I say yes to fame.

Well, I have two good witnesses here that will tell you, because they're with me all the time, Sona and David, and they see me out in the real world. And I learned a long time ago there's two types. There's someone like a Steve Martin, who I think is just absolutely brilliant comedian legend. icon. I mean, he's up there in the Mount Rushmore of funny people. And he's very reserved and quiet and kind of shy out in public. And I think a lot of his career has been people not

understanding that crazy guy with the arrow through his head. I saw him. I'll go up to him and I'll give him that energy. Do something wacky. Yeah. And, you know, he, you know, exactly. And it's like they're, they're coming across a very shy art history professor. And they're confused. What a jerk! Yeah. And then there are people like, oh, myself, who are me all the time to the point where it's probably an illness. I mean, I'm just- Drive off of it. I just like to try and I do the same stuff with the waiter or the person who's selling me the insol for my shoe.

I'll do the same thing for them that I would do with you here. It's no difference. I mean, it depends. For me, if I'm with someone that I think that I feel safe with, I love it. I love talking to people. I'm a comedian. I want to know what's your deal. What do you do?

How do you? And I always say that's what this experience has taken from me is talking to strangers, really, because I'll, what I'm looking for now is people who don't recognize me. And then I'll have a conversation with them. And I'm like, I leave so, like, energized because I do like people. And then right before I step away, they'll be like, by the way, love you on the and I'm like oh no did I tell that person where I live you know because that's how I talked to I'm like yeah I just moved to where do you eat I love this restaurant and we'll have a

great thing and I'll be like wow made a new friend and they're like I think I already know you that's what I don't like yeah yeah and I've also noticed that I will also be more open now I'm to tell people how to fucking approach me but if they come up and they're like I love the show I'm like thank you so much I'll do the the whole thing but I'm I'm wary of it But if they say, I've been following you since stand up, I know your Netflix special. Then I feel like, oh, you know me. They know you. And then I'm like, what's up, homie?

You know what I mean? It just depends. I came to your fake restaurant. Exactly. Exactly. So I'm working on it. I smoked some of your cigars. Hey, I saw your tithies in the 90s.

What? What's up, old friend? Me and Stern. That's where I know you. That's where I know you. The year is 20, 2008. It's me and my friend Stern. And here you come, cigars and titty.

I'm like, yeah, you know the real, Janelle. What's up, friends? How is your family reacted to all this? Oh, my God. Well, my mom just came around because she's... Did she love it? She's... My mom is very shot.

I am also, and I didn't realize this, I am also kind of surprisingly shot. Yeah. And so my mom is very shy. And so she, for the first couple of seasons, wasn't even telling anyone. And then she said, I put a picture of you on my desk and people keep stopping by. Like, what is? And she's like, that's my daughter. And they're like, what? She's been, you know, your daughter this whole time or whatever. So now she's kind of leaning in. And also I'm trying to get her used to the fact that I have money and that she can accept things for me. That's been a big deal. and that she can have nice things. That's something I had to work through, like, oh, I can have money. So it's been so many things all at once. My kids don't watch the show.

They're cool. I think that's good. I think it's good. Yeah. You know, my kids. My oldest son says it's weird to see me like that. Yeah. He's like, what is that voice you're doing?

And who is that? But he's like, wow, you're like, I took him just recently to like a talk I did at a college and just him seeing how people. react to me, which people cry with me. And I'm always like, I'm not MJ. Like, it's cool. I'm just a lady. But people cry and like shaking. My son was like, what the fuck? Like, you're famous. And I was like, yeah. Yeah. This shit is wild. And that was just a couple weeks ago. And that's like the first real conversation we've had about. Because I try to tell them, but it's not to your,

my mom too. I took her to New York. We went to Broadway. People were chasing us. My mom, She's so tiny with her little legs running and she was so anxious. She's just like, what the fuck? Like, they don't, it's been crazy for all of us. But, yeah, again, I just stay in the house. Yeah. She's a hologram right now. I'm beaming in.

We assembled the studio in your house. I'm like, oh, why do celebrities? Good job, Eduardo. Why do celebrities live in the mountains? I know now. You know, it's so nice to see some. someone's work from afar, just see their work and admire them and then meet them. Conan O'Brien just said that about them.

No, no, but what I'm saying is admire them and then meet them and they're just who you would want them to be, which is you are yourself. I am. You are yourself and there's no changing that. And so many people would have been warped, bent, twisted, stretch by this experience. I wish I could lean in, though. I wish I could be like, yes. I don't know.

That's what Ava would do. Yeah. I'd be out as her. I'm leaving so much money on the table I can perform as her Welcome to the Ava extravagance I could probably have a fucking Vegas show All kind of shit

There's still time Don't say no to it Later on maybe Yeah Yeah You know There's always time for that Yeah

And in fact it's not time for that right now It's time for you You know to see this character through Now some people People are speculating Because your character got fired Facts for a couple hours Yeah

at most of you would all panic when that happened I didn't think you would be I was like oh I'll go back on the road I wonder what Chris is doing like I was okay I was like I mean that's the benefit of having multiple skills like and I mean I've

I've quit jobs for for any reason before again I'm always on a hustle I'm like okay well if you think that's the best thing for the show for me to be off of it I agree with you Quinta you're a fucking genius

thank you so much for the opportunity she's like no you'll be back the next episode I was like, oh, I don't even get some days off. Can't your character be in a coma? Can't Ava be in a coma and you still get paid just as much? How many days? Can I go to Mexico?

Like, what's going on? No, I was back the next episode. But that was very thrilling for me because people still come up to me now. So that happened last season, once ago. And people still come up to me now, like, let me know when you're back on the show so I can start watching again. And I'm like, dude, I was on the next episode. Yeah.

People are like, I don't watch it anymore. fired you. Why would they do that? So that was like gratifying for me. Like, oh, wow, I'm a thing. Yeah. Yes, you are a thing. Thank you. Absolute delight. Thank you, Conan. Meet you. Get to know you. I think I told you when I met you. I wanted to do time on your show and I was too precious about my little five minutes set and then all of a sudden you weren't there anymore. This is, I mean, who knows what I was going to say back there. My dad is dead.

Killing. Look at me. Crushed. See, still got it. I'm sorry, it's just such a funny line. My dad is dead. It just kills every time. That was probably my set back then. No, it's just, you know, one of the things that makes me really happy, this has been a real gift to me is this podcast format, which was invented by people long before me,

and I just came along, and it fits me like a glove, because what I really want to do... Love your tribal series as well. Oh, thank you so much. You're the best that's talking to people. Anyway, I love you. But what I love to do is, in the old days, it would have been you, yeah, it would have been you doing your set and me coming over and thanking you and us standing

together for a second. Walking from the desk and shaking my hands. And yeah, and then good night. We'll be right back. Janelle James, everybody. Banap-a-bam-da-bam. Credits, this, to me, is more meaningful. This, because we really get to talk about some stuff.

I mean, how many listeners you got on this? We got a lot. Okay, great. I don't know. I don't do numbers, but. I'll be the judge of meaningful. I know that I'm not here. I never guy refused to be here today.

It's okay. I was doing a bit, I was doing a bit like, how meaningful is it? We shall see. Good quantify it. Will my followers? A lot. We have a lot of people listening and they're all the greatest people ever. You are your fan base.

I always say that. Yeah. Janelle, you are just a delight. And I do hope. You come back some time. Anytime. And I hope we are our friends for real because that would be, seriously, that'd be a nice thing for me. You would up my friend game.

I feel like I let everybody says that. And then I'm in your backyard and you're like, how did you get here? No, you don't. I really don't have a lot of friends. And I'd be so happy to, I'll come to your house and I'll hang out. I just got a pool. What's that? I just got a pool.

What's the shape of the pool? Is it kidney shaped? Nope, it is. Oh, is it? Kidney shaped. It's bulbous. It's more squash. shaped.

Is it kidding? The mind wanders. I'm here for your bulbous pool, Janelle. Welcome. It's what I will say. Oh my God. The way you just invited yourself over. I'm going to ring your bell.

Here for bulbous pool. Who is that? I don't know. I can't see, but I think it's Conan McGrath. I'm going to say, here's your incense. Please cleanse yourself before you answer and let's have a great time. Thank you so much for being here.

I appreciate it. Thank you. I mean, I've had the, this was so great. Oh, great. And easy. Love it. We all win. Yeah.

My close. You know what? I'm going to go home and my wife's going to say, who are you cheating on? Catholic nun. You smell like parsimins. Let's do a review the reviewers. I like. I like to keep my finger on the pulse of what the podcasting listeners believe, feel.

That's right. This is where we go to Apple Podcasts and we take a five-star review. Okay. Not hard to find. It's nice. Okay. So you're weeding out all the no-star reviews. Yeah.

I don't think you can give no-stars. You have to do one. I'll find a way. To your own podcast. Yes. I'm going to load up our comment section with no-star reviews. All right. And we read it.

And we review it, or if there's a question, we'll answer it. Yep. This is from Annalise, 0912. The title is Best Podcast Ever. Wow. Yeah. I listen to this all day at school. I have absolutely no idea what's going on in any of my classes, but I'm sure I'll figure it out.

The bad thing about listening to this at school, though, is that I can't laugh out loud and believe me, I really want to. Seriously, if you look over at me while I'm listening, you would see tears streaming down my face, me quivering and shaking with laughter, and my face is red as a tomato. I'll often at times have to go to the bathroom, and I'll sit there and just laugh. I'm sure everyone thinks I'm a big creep, but I could care less, because Conan is so funny. Also, Sona and Matt, pure gold. I'm only 16 years old, so I love getting to know guests that I have never heard of. I think that y'all should make a Team Coco iPhone app.

You can have full episodes of all Conan shows, not just the clips like YouTube, remotes, podcasts, and anything Team Coco related. My screen time would be off the charts if y'all do that. Anyways, love the podcast and love Conan. First of all, I love Annalise 0912. And thank you so much. What a great comment. And I mean, Adam, you can get involved in this.

Why aren't we an app? Why aren't we an app? Well, I think the main ask I heard out of that is that she wants the full episodes. And my guess is that this review was written before we started releasing full episodes. So we're doing what she wants. And not, you don't have to go to an app. You go to YouTube where everyone has access to. This was a year ago.

Yeah. So I think it's, that's how long. So now she's 17 and despises us. Oh, no. And that's how far back I had to go to find a five-star review. The part of my brain that determines what's of quality developed in the last year. No, it's really nice. I'm going to, I usually push aside compliments, but we just have to take this.

It's so nice. Are you worried, though, that? She's in high school and she's listening to this during class. You know, no, because I remember in high school learning nothing that was if used to me. And I, I'm just, come on. You know, when was the last time you used any of your math skills, Sona? You still walk around with an abacus, you know. Gradually in high school.

Exactly. I know, I know. I used to write disco rules on all the tables I sat on. Did you really? I don't know why. But disco didn't rule when you were in high school. I think it was just me being like silly. and ironic. And I would just be like, disco rules because I didn't think it ruled. But I also,

maybe I did go through a bit of a disco phase. It's a fun genre. I like disco. But I think that what I'm excited about is she's young. Yeah. I know. Young people, I really want them to like me. Really? Do you guys ever feel that way? Or is it just me? I know. He does for sure. Like I change. I want young people to assist me. Help me up if I fall in. Guide me to the part of the iPhone that I can use, you know? I mean, that's, I'm mostly looking to young people for I actually, I will say this. This is honest. I love the enthusiasm of young people. I really do like that. And when the, when young people are happy, I'm happy. It's a weird, I don't know if that's weird to say, but I am. I think that, because I tried to think I was hip for a while.

And then now I've completely lost touch with 16 year olds where I don't know what they're interested in. And I think that when they like something that I'm involved in, it makes me feel good. Yeah. Yeah. Why not? I like this. I like this very much. And I have to say, when I'm cruising around, not cruising. What? Were you cruising?

There was a time in the late 70s, early 80s when I was cruising. It was after the Elbechino movies. Cruising came out. And I didn't understand what it was about. I just thought it meant having a nice walk. Did he cruise? Yes, he certainly did. He's an undercover cop that went in

underground in the gay scene to solve a murder. Oh, cruising like that. Yeah, I didn't know what it was. So I wore the same outfit that Al Pacino wore in cruising, which was all leather and a leather cap. And I would go, and I would yell, I'm cruising around, and I'd walk around. I didn't know what it meant. But boy, certain people were very friendly to me.

Yeah. But anyway, that's neither here nor there. What's important is just walking around. A lot of young people say they enjoy this silliness. So that's nice. I wonder what our youngest listener is. That finds it on their own, not that their parents listen. It would be in utero, I think.

You think so? Yeah, there are obstetricians that say you should be, there's a way you can just put the podcast up to your belly. And a child as it's forming, a fetus can be listening to this nonsense. Can you imagine that if a child is formed with only this as its influence? Yeah, it comes out and it's just, it wants to immediately buy all the products we mentioned in the ads. Oh, man, that's dark. What qualities does it take from us?

I think it's loud. It's needy. I don't think that's my one quality. Well, we're talking dominant qualities. I know. What is your dominant quality? That I must dominate. Oh, what are you going to dominate?

This conversation. And then you can say it. I don't want to say it. I knew you were going to. But you knew that. Then why did you make me say you knew? Why didn't you just say it? I'm not going to take your idea and do it for you.

When a baby's born wearing a straw. bowder. I'm wearing a t-shirt that says wittier rocks. I'm more worried about the mother's birth process with a straw boater on that baby's head. It gets slightly knocked askew. After that, it's fine. Is it a boy or a girl? I don't know, but it's wearing a straw boater.

And it wants to get to the Rose Bowl, swap meat immediately. That does come up a lot. I've literally never once been to the Rose Bowl flea market. You've never been? Even I've been. But you sit in the, you sit at just outside the Rose Bowl and wish you could go in. They won't let me in. Yeah.

You're blacklisted because they're too scared. I've been to the Pasadena City College world though. It's pretty good. That one's really good too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was escorted out. He's not allowed back to the Rose Bowl anymore. Why?

He shoplifted a loot. You know what? That's not true because I'm going there this weekend to see Oasis motherfuckers. Me too. You are. Saturday? Yes. Me too.

What are you doing? Are you coming? No. I do like Oasis, though. I love those Gallagher. Those Gallagher fellas. It's different Gallagher than the one you're thinking of

with the Sleger Macs. It's Peter Gallagher. I honestly thought that Peter Gallagher was one of the Gallagher brothers. Because he's got the eyebrows. Yeah, he does. You know, and they won't tour with him because they really hate him.

Yeah, they just thought his work on the OC was inferior. Shout out to Peter Gallagher. Love you, man. All right, what's there? Enough nonsense. Knock it off, you eight balls. Come on.

All right. Hey, a shout out to Annalise, 0912. Very much appreciate your encouragement and just try and study some. Just some. Okay? All right.

I look forward to you being my surgeon. Take care. O'Brien needs a friend, with Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Goorley. Produced by me, Matt Goreley. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Jeff Ross, and Nick Leow. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and Mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars. Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brick Con. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan?

Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien needs a friend wherever find podcasts are downloaded.