Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Jodie Foster

Episode Date: January 19, 2026

Actress and filmmaker Jodie Foster feels ambivalent about being Conan O’Brien’s friend. Jodie sits down with Conan to discuss her experience working as a child actor, juggling the difference between intentionality and freedom, and how speaking French in her latest film A Private Life completely changed her acting style. Later, David Melmed returns to get to the bottom of Conan’s Star Search misappropriation. For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com.Got a question for Conan? Call our voicemail: [phone]. Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/conan. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I'm Jody Foster, and I feel ambivalent about being Conan's friend. Whoa! I feel ambivalent. A major blow to the solar plexus. You should be flattered, right? Because it's not just a yes or, you know. No, no, I have questions. I am not flattered.

Let's be very clear. I am not flattered. Fall is here, hear the yell. Back to school. Ring the bell. Brand new shoes, walking loose. Climb the fence. books and pens

I can tell that we are going to be friends I can tell that we are going to be friends Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend Here with my crew My chums Sonam of Sessian Yeah, hi Conan

O'Brien Who is doodling That's why I've taken It's just a mustache wondering where its master is But it says where's Gil Yeah, that's your dad That's my dad's mustache

Don't say it's just a random mass mass mass mass My dad's mustache The name that happened to come off my pen. Here we go. Oh, that's it. Go-go, go-go, go-go, go-go. Hey there. Welcome to Conan O'Brien needs a friend.

I'm coming in. I've been away for quite a while now. I've been on an epic series of journeys across the world. I'm back now. It's so nice to be back and see the friendly faces of Sonom of Sessia and Matt Gourley. How you guys doing? It's been a while. It's been like over a month.

Yeah, it has been in a long time. Five weeks since. I, since we taped a podcast, and I missed you guys. I really did. And everywhere I went, people were talking to me about the pod. Again, in different cities, I ran into people who were listening to it as I ran into them. That's cool. It's just been, and I mean, it's surreal for me, but I think it is upsetting to them.

Oh. Because they're probably, it's a lot. Yeah. It's a lot to be walking through Central Park and you're listening to this podcast. and then this giant George Kennedy head comes at you, gets in your face and says, you want a selfie? You want one?

You want a selfie? You don't even know that they're listening to you. You're just seeing people on earbuds and going up to them. I asked a statue that was on horseback if it wanted a selfie. It's just funny because there'll be, if 10 people in a row want a selfie, you get into a certain rhythm. And then this happened in London because I had some stuff I had to do there.

And 10 people in a row were like, could I have a selfie? Could I have a selfie? Could I have a selfie? And then this one woman said, oh, hey, I know you. And I said, do you want a selfie? And she said, no. Not in your life. There's nothing I'd want less.

I'd rather die. I'd rather be dead. But anyway, it's very nice to be back. And in the New York grew, even though we're in Los Angeles. Yeah. So. Do you have fun? You good?

Get sick? No, I did not get. Happy with yourself? Did you get sick? Like the choices you made? End up where you thought you'd be? No. Okay.

I did not get sick. I'm quite content and just happy to be here. Yeah. Yesterday, because I'm doing the Oscars in March, we shot a bunch of promos for the Oscars. And there's a bunch where you do them for different countries. So I did one, Telemundo. I did it in Spanish. You do some to different countries.

And then there was one country. I can't remember what country it is, Norway or where it was. But the name of the station was, so tune in to the Oscars on March 15th and watch it live on. And then you give the name of the station. And if it's, you know, if it's on Delamundo or you give the different ones. But there was, I think it was some country. I cannot remember it. but I said turn in to Beistoc and then it said on the copy V, you know, dial.

So I said Bistak, V, V dial, and there's a dialect coach off camera and he went, no, no. It's Bistock and he said the V is just a, just a quick, v, dial. And I said, V, and he went, no, V. So I tried it. And I said, B-stock-V-dial. And he said, no, it's V. And I said, V. And he said, no.

And he was getting irritated. And he said, you don't say the V-V-U, you just go, V. You think it. You like, think it. And I said, V. And he went, no, it's V. And so it was back and forth, me going, V, and him going, V. And there's like a 600 people around, standing around, tech people, and I'm going, V, and he goes, V, and then he was like, no.

If I can hear it, it's wrong, basically. And so I went, so just be stuck dial. And he said, I heard nothing. That's not it. And I said, you told me not to say anything. And it turned into a full on... It's a way of life, man. It's a way of life, man.

You must live the... So I should try and remember what it was because maybe it makes the story better. But we'll never see that because that'll just air in whatever country this is. Yeah, I think so. And they may not see it there

because the country will be so enraged that I did the... Incorrectly that they... they'll have a revolution. And if you did it correctly, they wouldn't see it either, according to this guy's. It was amazing. It was just an incredible experience. Yes, Eduardo, what do you got?

You leaned in like you had something. Maybe that was just wishful thinking. I was just laughing. Oh, I've never seen you laugh at anything I said before. It took me by surprise. Your failure made me laugh. That's my boy. Where's that $5 we pass around for the spider tip?

There you go. There you go. There is. Wow. Is that what it's called, the spider tip? What's what we'll call it? Love it. Good fellas. We're always thinking of you. Yeah, so anyway, I've been very busy, but having a really good time.

Good. I binged a lot of shows. What did you binge? Oh, I binged Andor. That's right. Yeah. And Indoor's perfect. And you went right into Rogue One, right? Perfect. And I went right into Rogue One. That's the way to do it.

I remember, like, after, I watched Rogue One. Because you think you could go right into Star Wars. I know. And then you could go into Star Wars 2 or, as the kids call it now, Star Wars 9. A new beginning. Fun is fun. But let's not. This is a sacred text.

Well, come on. The first Star Wars is the one where they, with, you know, their first movie they made. That's how I go. I agree. I don't call it a New Hope either. I call it Star Wars. Called a New Hope? Yeah.

Can you believe that shit? Episode 4. Yeah, but that was all later. It was all came later. Oh, okay. Well, I, I liked it. I didn't, I'm not going to, like, devote my life to it. I mean, I get it.

I'm not asking you, too. Huh? I'm just saying stay open to it. I'm going to tell you also, I didn't understand a lot of stuff that was going on. I mean, I just kind of, you know, when you nod along, when you think you understand, I didn't understand. There was just so many, like, other random characters. It was like, I don't know what they started renaming everything. Like, I knew it's the first Star Wars and it's, then it's the Empire Strikes Back, you know, and then the third one.

They all have different names now. The third one is now called Star Wars. Oh, come on. Well, that's what they call it in Prague. I thought it was Norway. I don't know. I don't remember, which I did 9,000 promos in different. Hello, Estonia.

If you were going to watch the Oscars, make sure to tune in on March 15th on Gramgousgat. This is undoing all of that. All right, I'm proud of both of you. What did we do? What did we do? Because I binged and or. But I also binged a lot of other stuff. You'd be proud of you.

You guys are... I power wash some of the skin off my thumb. No way. Why'd you do that? I didn't mean to. I just was using a power washer and it hit my thumb. You know what? I think you committed a murder and you were trying to get your skin.

He's getting away! Commit to the bit. That was so slow. You know what? I loved about that. You got to check the video. Matt dashes out of his chair, right? And then very slowly and methodically opens the door.

The door's too heavy for her. Oh, my God. Closing that took forever. You know what? It would be like if Booth shot Lincoln in Ford's Theater and then rather than leap off the balcony and escape, Booth shot Lincoln and then was like, pardon me, excuse me, pardon me,

just working his way slowly. Pardon me, pardon me, oh, sorry. Mild irritants to tyrants. Yeah. All right, my guest today is an Academy Award-winning actress who was starred in such movies as Taxi Driver and The Silence of the Lambs. Now you can see her in the new movie,

A Private Life. I'm honored. with us today. God. I do love her. Jody Foster. Welcome. I have a fantasy friendship with you, A, you're very tall, and B, I'm very small. So I have a little image of us walking down the beach together,

like hoining out dolphins and things. And, you know, and I've got a little sandwich in my backpack for you and stuff. And we have this, we have like a little, kind of a good little, what was that? Oh, it was a, of course, of Betty's father. It was a show I was on in the 70s. And there was like a, you know, a son and his father and they're walking down the beach. So I have that side.

But then there's the reality part, which is, yeah, I don't know. I don't know that it would be good. It might look good. It might look good. Yeah, but you think the reality might be something darker. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I don't know.

Yeah. Too much sand. Yeah. You know, it's so funny because I have a very clear memory of the first time I met you, which is I was skiing. Yeah. And there's this friend of mine who I ran into, and he said, why don't you ski with me?

And he said, I'm skiing with my friend Jody. Didn't say anything else. And I went, all right, whatevs. So I'm skiing and we're zipping along. And we get down to where, and I noticed that he said, oh, my friend Jody's down here by the lift. And I went, all right, let's go, you know, check in on Jody, whoever that is.

And I can be snarky to her. And we get down there, and I remember you, like, took off your goggles and said, oh, hi, Jody. And I was like, oh. That's my happy place, skiing. It's my happy place. You like it because of the anonymity and also? No, I like the idea of a sport where if you stop being in the present moment, you might die. You might hit a tree or something.

And there's something really relaxing about that. Yes. Honestly. No, no, I kind of understand what you're saying. Because you can't think about taxes or you can't think about... Yeah, but that's why I play Russian roulette every night. Yeah. Keeps me in the moment.

Hell of a record. Amazing. Incredible record. He never misses a night. Yeah. Sometimes I put three bullets in. Still, I'm fine. This got real dark, real fast.

Russian roulette while skiing, even better. You know, it's so funny because I've since gotten to know you much better. And even though there's a lot of ambivalence on your end. And it's interesting to me because I don't think this is discussed as much with you because you've had such an iconic career in film and it's had so many different levels. But I was a TV kid growing up in the 70s and my brother Neil made sure that we watched all the westerns, you know, bonanzas and all in the house in the prairie, you know, gun smokes. And, you know, we also watched courtship of Eddie's father.

We watched all these shows, and you were a fixture on these shows. And it's fascinating because we haven't really ever had a chance to talk about it. But that is a completely different era, a world where you're on the set of Bonanza. Yeah. And these are iconic shows from, as you know, like from the 50s and 60s and 70s. And you were... I've heard of them, too. You've heard of them.

I mean, they're iconic, but I don't know how... good they were. I mean, I always say... I never said good. Yeah. I was on every, you know, every kind of bad television show in the 70s. I have a brother, Neil, who watches all these shows.

He's got an encyclopedic knowledge of them. And if I, you know, randomly called him and said, oh, I saw Jody Foster today, he'd say, you know, she was excellent in season 13 of Bonanza. Haas's Lament. Yeah, yeah. Hosses Lament. And he would say with guest star,

And he had, you know, Bernie Coppell as the science is, you know, all these great fixtures. And I would say, okay. And he'll often say to me, like, did you mention to Jody? And I'm like, no, but here you are. I know, and now I'm doing it. I'm doing it. I mean, I thought I'd talk about some of her, you know, Oscar winning roles and stuff. And my brother doesn't care about film.

He just was only like, so that, but that is. Yeah, there's something, you know, really, there was something really comforting about that. It doesn't feel the same way anymore when you lie in your, your bed with your covers on watching TV the way it did in the old days, when you laid in your bed and then you had the black and white TV and you had to go up to the knob and change the station every time you were dissatisfied. But yeah, all those shows are so, you know, Nanny and the Professor and Adam 12, Perry Mason and the Rockford Files or, you know, all those. Have you ever spent any time looking back on those just to see, because they're almost like home

movies for you? No, there's a couple that are on Instagram that occasionally my friends will say, hey, look at this because I don't have social media, but and it's kind of cute because my mom didn't take pictures of me. I think taking pictures of your kids got expensive at that era, so she took pictures of my brothers and sisters, but not of me.

So the only pictures that I have really are these video clips and clips from television shows. Yeah, so you're always wearing a 19th century bonnet. That's right. Yeah. And saying, look out, Haas! I have lots of weird memories that are associated with that, you know,

Like I had to play like this kind of wild child who was all dirty. And I was living on my own and surviving in the forest. And the prop men had planted different edible things that, you know, you could pull out the roots and you could just eat them. And they would look like you were this savage person. And I remember, you know, going through the weeds in a scene, and I pulled out this thing and I ate a bite of it. And it was fennel. And I was like, oh, this is delicious. Who knew?

Who knew there was such a thing as fennel? You know what I would have done? I'd have come back and said to the prop guy, those blackberries are amazing. I didn't plant blackberries. Thoughts who they're doing CPR on me. I would pick the wrong thing. I know I would.

It was a fascinating era. And I think one of the things that has always been clear to me is that your mom did an extraordinary job. And I know it's nature and nurture. A lot of this was who you were. But especially in the early days of late night, in the 90s when we were doing our show, we'd do a lot of sketches that would use a kid

who would have lines. And I remember the kids coming up to me like before the show. We did it at rehearsal, and then it's time for when to get in makeup and the audience is loading in, the band's getting ready, the guests are coming here. And these little kids would come up to me

and they'd say, Mr. O'Brien, you are truly a legendary, luminary, in the field of... And I'd look up the hall and I'd see their parents It's like looking out. It may break my heart. But they had clearly told their kids,

you say this, you go up to him, and then he'll have you back. And it's very clear to me that your mom did an extraordinary job. Yeah, I really appreciate her now. I mean, I'm sure I was pretty mad at her in my 30s, like every, like all of us. And then suddenly really started seeing

the other side of the, you know, the other side of the story. She really did. I think there was this vicarious thrill for her is that she wanted me to be all the things that she couldn't be, which is she wanted me to be respected. She didn't want me to be objectified.

She wanted me to have a long career, not a short one. She didn't want me to play somebody's just sister, mother, daughter. She wanted me to be central character because she grew up in a pre-feminist time where she didn't have any of those opportunities. So it worked, you know, it worked out for me. At the time, were you enjoying the experience? Did you like it? You must have loved being in front of the camera,

or were you kind of neutral about it or even ambivalent. Well, because I don't really remember ever starting, the things I loved was I loved being in a community that felt like a family. And honestly, mostly those were brothers and fathers because there really weren't any women around. So I liked being like being the surrogate daughter to all these guys who taught me how, you know, taught me how lenses worked. And they taught me how to how to load the film into the camera. And they, you know, they would give me marks and they would say, you know, you have to turn on this line. And so I had, I loved the family of making movies.

the actual work of being an actor I had no interest in. And in fact, I just thought it was kind of a dumb job. And that got supported because my mother would say, hey, your career is going to be over when you're 18. So what are you going to do after that? She wasn't wrong.

That's pretty much the way it usually works. Most child actors don't work after they're 18. And so they have to come up with, you know, what's their next act? So she was sort of preparing me for that. And I thought, well, yeah, because I can't do a job where I just like look at a piece of paper learn the lines and then say them. That just seems not very challenging. But when I was 12,

I did taxi driver with Robert De Niro and something happened. You know, he kind of took me under's wing and explained improvisation and went through, you know, the work with me. And I had this eureka moment where I was like, oh, it's my fault. I have not brought enough to the equation. And this is actually the exploration of character is really an amazing thing to do for a living that I love and I love making films and maybe this is something that I'd want to do. But it wasn't until then. Well, also, to be fair to you,

there probably wasn't a lot of of let's explore your character and work on improv, on Nanny and the Professor. Not to put those shows down because it's high art, but, you know, that's probably how kids felt doing little sketches on our show, you know. Conan, when are we going to explore my character?

You're not, kid. Say your line and get the hell out of here. But I like the idea of work, though. I liked going to work and I liked, you know, being on time. And I liked the discipline of all of that. And I liked doing a bunch of takes and having somebody say, no, do this, no do that, and following them. So I still am, you know, I love discipline. I like doing the same thing over and over again until I get it right.

And I have that personality. And I've always had that. You know, you obviously, when you're doing taxi driver at that age, how old were you at the time? 12. 12. You can't, you can't be. aware that this is going to become a touchstone film and a real pivot point for 1970s movies. And it's going to be so important in so many ways.

You can't know that at the time. I wouldn't think. You can't. No, but he was a great director. And I had already done Alice doesn't live here anymore with him. So I'd done that movie when I was about nine. And he was this extraordinary up-and-coming director. You know, he'd only directed three movies by the time, three or four movies maybe by the time he'd done taxi driver.

What did he done? He had done... He did a thing called Boxcar Bertha. Yeah. He did Mean Streets. Amazing film. This was Martin's Chris as he were talking about. He's in... And then he did Alice.

He doesn't live for near anymore. And then he did a tax driver. So it was through Alice that he knew you. Yes. And said, I think this kid would be great for this part. Yes. And I didn't know this, but your sister was a stand-in for you during some of the more sexually suggestive scenes in taxi driver, which... They were very...

Suggestive, but yeah. They weren't really very suggestive, but yes, because the Board of Education started having issues with the idea of young kids doing more adult roles, they were concerned that somehow playing these characters that we would be confused about ourselves and who we were. So, and some of it started with Brook Shields doing Pretty Baby. I think a lot of people had a lot of issues with that. So when I was about to do tax driver, the Board of Education came down and said, okay, this is, we're not going to allow, we're not going to sign the work permit for this. And we had to get a lawyer and we had to prove that I was that I was competent, I guess. And part of the deal that we made with them was if there are any sexually suggestive scenes, we'll get somebody else to do it. And my mom was like, look, her sister can come to New York for the summer.

She's over 18 and she's about the same size. And so that's what happened. Yeah. Although they weren't very suggestive. I think it was her taking down her shirt to below her shoulders. Right. So that's nothing. Which they do on Nickelodeon now.

That's true. Now we do that on Nickelodeon. And then I think I, yeah, I think I was supposed to, like, undo his fly. That was about it. Yeah. Yeah. And, but it also must have been nice to have your sister on set. Yeah, it was nice.

Or complicated. I don't know. It was really nice, actually. And, you know, we were in that business. My brother had been an actor when he was young. And it sort of felt like a family affair thing because everybody had their jobs that they had to do. My mom was a single mom.

And so with four kids, raising four kids, if one of us went and did, a TV show, then somebody had to, you know, make sure that everybody got off at the bus station and, you know, have dinner and all that stuff. Yeah. As your mom said, well, your career is over at 18. Yeah. The, I would say 99% of kid actors say, no, I'm going to keep this going. You decide I'm going to go to college, an excellent college, and get a superior, a really

fantastic education. Thank you. And so that is maybe not. a usual move at that time. Maybe it's become more common, but to take, to say, no, I'm going to take four years out of my career and study. Yeah, that was an unusual move. And I think we all assumed that my career would be over. So my mom actually sold her house and moved into a tiny condo and was like, okay, we're now we're ready because by the time, you know, you're 18 and you're going to go to college, we're going to spend every cent that we have sending you to college and you'll probably

never work again. I did end up doing five movies while I was in college. So I did, you know, I worked during the summer and then I took a semester off, a couple of semesters off. So I did do five movies while I was there. What was your major? I majored in literature, the literature major, which is, you know, lots of theories of literature. Yeah. And the area of focus was African-American literature. It's so fascinating because I can't make a case that my education had anything to do with my profession, but I wouldn't change it for anything in the world. And, you know, I studied history and literature of America. I was a very serious student. I wrote a massive thesis and had to argue it in an oral exam and it was, you know, did all the things and then cut to, you know, 35 years of

tomfoolery. But I was doing a, um, a, um, a. I was doing a tour somewhere, and I'm on stage, and it's going really well, and I'm also playing guitar, and there's, like, a rock vibe to it, and there's comedy, but also there's some music. And then at one point, this big thing of paper came flopping up on the stage. I didn't know what it was, and this is usually the point in a concert when someone throws panties or a bra. And if one is a certain performer, not me. I was going to say. I didn't mean me.

You get sheafs of paper. Men throw their underwear at me, but it's more of a derogatory thing. and they're still wearing it. But they were like, this big thing of paper goes clump up on stage and I'm like, I think I had the guitar on, I lean over and I pick it up and it says, you know, the literary progeria

in the works of Flannery O'Connor and Wayne Faulkner. It was my thesis. Someone had gone and found it and photocopied it and threw it up on stage and I thought, this is what I get. And also, I remembered writing this and having it thrown to me on stage was not part of the dream.

But it's so weird, but I also, I can't explain why, but I know that doing all of that thinking and reading has informed me whatever I was going to do. If I was making clay pots now for living, it would be helping me somehow. It's whatever you were doing between the ages of 17 and 22, you know, those years are really formative. And, you know, maybe if you were in, I don't know, you went to Rwanda and spent three or four years working in. small town. Like, that would be an extraordinary formative experience. So it's just about that formation. And for me, obviously, us that have had these, you know, great experiences with education, so much of it, yes, is about what you learn, but a lot of it is about the connections that you made with people that taught you how to be a good friend. And, you know, you learned all those

hard lessons of people being disappointed in you and then never talking to you again, for example. Or, you know, I don't know. I definitely would not be the person. that I am, but I also really feel like I learned to read, not in the real sense of, you know, cat and dog, but to how to look deeply into material, to how to look deeply into people, into relationships, into literature, and say, you know, what does this mean? And what, what are the different layers of meaning that are there? And I, I think that comes in handy every single day of my job. You have had this extraordinary career that any actor would say, yes, if I could have the Jody Foster career.

I'll take that right now. These multiple awards, two Oscars. But you have always shown a real interest in directing. And I've heard you say that the Jody Foster, who's directing, is more yourself maybe than the different characters you play when you're acting.

Is that fair? Well, yeah, we all have different compartments of things that we do. And I was born, like, basically in my DNA when I was born, I was born as a head first person. So I perceive the world as the head first I think before I feel. And a lot of people are the opposite. A lot of people are kind of stomach first people, instinct first people, or heart first people. I'm just not one of those, you know, I was a head first person. And so I've always in this job, especially a job that's very emotional and physical, I've always been

sort of juggling like where is the space, where is the space for my head? And how do these two things work together. You know, because so much of directing, too, and I don't understand the job, I'm fascinated by people who can do it. It would terrify me is planning, thinking, making lists. Yes. Someone told me once. A lot of admin. But someone told me also a lot of directing is this or this. You know, like, do you want the Derringer, or do you want the, the pistol? Derringer. And it's. Some of it is choosing, but a lot of it is how you juggle the difference between intention and freedom. You know, I have lots of plans.

So as a director, I'll, you know, I'm in my hotel room all by myself. I got lots of plans. And then I come there and it's raining and, you know, the guy I hired to play the priest is, you know, drunk. I'm sorry. The one time you hire me. But there's, it's that meditation of saying like, like, okay, now what? So what if? You know, what if, what if the priest was drunk? Or what if there, we no longer have a priest because I just fired him or, you know, you start having to have inspiration and making decisions in the moment where you collaborate with 175 people. Whatever the energy is that's on the set. It's not just the actors. It's also all the people that are doing the various jobs bring their expertise, but also maybe even their past, you know, their relationships with their parents. Every time a prop master's, you know, decides that the character is going to have a shot glass, an Elvis shot glass. It's because they're bringing baggage from their past into it.

And they're saying, like, what is true to this character? I know. I'm going to go for the Elvis shot glass. And so I love that. I love hearing other voices and then being the person that says yes, no, yes, no, yes, no. I think what I can relate to, what you're talking about a lot, both in the early television work and just throughout your career and even as you talked about your college experience, I like being around a gang of people.

I like having that community. I spend, I've always say, if someone says they enjoy my comedy, I say 99% of it you don't hear. It's messing around with people in my world and family and friends. I like all the jokes that happened as we're trying to build the thing that people see. And that sounds to me like directing is this ultimate. experience of a massive group. It's like Robin Hood and his merry man. You just get all these people together and say, let's work together on this thing. And a lot of the joy doesn't necessarily

show up on the screen. It's part of the process. Yeah. And I mean, well, the big caveat is you are the last word. So you can do all the horsing around. People can have all the opinions they want. But at the end of the day, you're the person who has to have the personality to say, I see the big picture. You know, I'm not just in the moment enjoying the yuck yucks. I see the big picture. And I want the train to leave at 835 and I want to arrive at 940. And you guys have given me all of these different choices along the way. We're going to, to see the big picture means to be able to see the way through. And so much of that is about asking that question. Is it true or is it fake? Those are the only question I ask all day.

Same thing as an actor, same thing. Honestly, as a human being, as a parent, is it true or is it fake? Is this how I feel honestly? Or is this something that I'm trying to put on and to impress people? Or do I genuinely feel like the scene is funny? Or do I think that the audience will think it's funny? So I'm going to do it for them. You know, I'm always just trying to choose the most instinctual and the most true thing.

Because I don't trust anything else. Yeah. I've always thought if I'm having fun in this moment and it's honest, most people watching it or listening to it will probably agree. That's not always true, but you just have that instinct and you have to go with it. And if you don't have that instinct, you're lost anyway. You should probably not be doing this. As you get older, too, I mean, the great thing that opens up as you get older is you've,

you spent a number of years thinking that your central story was the most interesting thing, right? Because me is very interesting. And you, you know, especially as a woman, you know, there are things that you want to achieve. You know, I wanted to make films where I was playing these central characters that were in charge of their own lives and that they weren't just adjuncts to the men, that they were fully fleshed, complicated human beings. But then you reach a certain point where you get older and you're like, wow, I'm just so bored with myself. I can't stand it. And you really start. Haven't hit that yet. You start realizing all the voices you left behind that you weren't

listening to. And they're all out there and you think, oh my God, I can't believe I wasn't listening. wasn't paying any attention. And then the real joy comes when you start saying like, oh, now that I have wisdom and I'm older, how can I serve your story? So you want to tell this story that nobody's ever heard before about a bunch of people that nobody's ever heard how this happened. How can I use all of this old patriarchy that I have to serve that purpose to support you? And that's so much more fun than anything else. And the pressure's off of you. Yeah. Well, I look forward to having that moment. Because right now I am enamored with myself. I've been doing this a long time.

You know, I have to bring up many people consider it a perfect movie. I know I do, but Silence of the Lambs is just perfect in so many ways. The storytelling, and I think really revolutionary because there are about nine things that I see in Silence of the Lambs that now regularly occur in television movies, ringing the bell. You think it's to one house. The door opens. It's not that house. when I saw that movie for the first time in a theater, I was just completely spellbound

and obviously your performance, a massive part of that. And what I'm thinking about is in that moment, this felt very revolutionary because Clarice is put in this very deep water. And there are also scenes where she's in a very male experience. There are all these men in the room examining the body, doing the post-mortem, and you need to navigate that. And I feel like that is a watershed performance that's defining, but really defining women in a job that's always been depicted as a male job. Up until that point, obviously the script has flipped since then, but I don't know if young people realize how at the time that was, we hadn't seen, I don't remember seeing any. remotely like that. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. It really, it really tread over stuff that hadn't been

thought about before. And mostly it was just like the hero's journey was reserved for men. And so it was a new thing to have a woman participate in what was a tragic, you know, has been a myth for our, for centuries. But all of that was in the book because the book was magical. It just was one of those perfect texts. And it doesn't happen very often in your life. So I would say, you know, silence of lambs for me and potentially for me, true detective, like might have been the two greatest experiences that I've had working where you get a piece of material that is, I don't want to say, inspired by the gods, but there's something happening in this material where it's just talking about something so true and so, so mixed up with

our own collective unconscious that it's undeniable. And then everybody, that climbs aboard does the best work of their life effortlessly. Yeah. And it really never happens. So when it does happen, like, you really have to be jumping up for joy because when it happens, it's so easy and so much fun. And it was such a fun movie to make. Yeah. You know, we had Aloha Fridays where everybody wore Hawaiian shirts on Fridays.

And there was a lot of, yeah, it was actually a lot of fun. On silence of the lawyer. Yes. That's great. Bring your kid to work day. What are we doing? We're throwing people into a pit who've been kidnapped. She, mommy.

Yeah. That's a fingernail. Oh, wow. Yeah. I also think one of the most, I think it's one of the greatest depictions of what bravery really is, the climax of the movie when you are working your way through the pitch dark. Last day of shooting. Was it really?

Okay, so... It's such a bad last day of shooting. We were all so mad. All of us were so mad. Yeah. And you can, in some scenes, you can see you're wearing a Hawaiian shirt. He's got infrared glasses. You're like, is that a Hawaiian shirt on Agent Starling?

But you are working your way through. And what I, what meant a lot to me and still resonates with me about that scene, is there are a lot of scenes where the hero and often the male hero is, traditionally doing the brave thing. And I love Clint Eastwood. Don't get me the wrong way. But they're doing the brave thing and they're doing it in a kick-ass male way.

You are terrified. You are terrified, terrified and pushing forward. And the combination of it's completely believable, there's not one millisecond where I don't completely believe that that's what you're doing. You are pushing forward. Someone's life is at risk.

this is what you're going to do, but you are terrified every second and you're making yourself push forward. And I think that is one of the best film, cinematic depictions of real bravery I've ever seen because it's often portrayed as fire. I'm going to get in there. Get out of my way.

And that doesn't read to me the same way. Well, actually, there's a big laugh in that scene where she finally gets to the woman in the pit and she says like, you're safe. And the whole audience just like, laughs hysterically. And then you say I'll be right back. Yeah, I'll be right back.

She curses you out. Yeah, he does. Be right back. I don't think I'm ever going to see you again. Yeah, because it's honest, you know, because it was really truthful and there wasn't a bunch of posing about it. And so that's a, I think, a good example of saying, you know, what do you pick in that moment? What choices do you make? You know, who do you listen to?

Well, you don't listen to a list of like, whoa, what did Clint Eastwood do in his movie? I think you really, you say to yourself, you know, who would I be if this happened? And you follow honesty and instinct. And hopefully that's really the only God that you pray to. Well, the people I'm always most impressed with are the people that keep challenging themselves, regardless of what they've achieved in the past. You have made this film a private life, which is in French. Yep. And your character is speaking, you know, fluent French the entire time in the movie. And I'm not going to take on that challenge, if you don't mind. I'd be there listening to, what's the, who is it? Or what's it?

Duolingo. Duolingo. I'd be like on headsets on duolingo. I'm stunned by this challenge. And you have said, I didn't realize that this is. a part of your career I did not know about that you have been really immersing yourself in French culture for a big part of your life. Yeah. Yeah. I had a French education. So at nine years old, my mom kind of dropped me into a French immersion school. At the time, it was the 70s, and she had

never traveled anywhere. And she took one trip to France, like a bus tour, a touristy bus tour. She went there and she came back and said, okay, that's it. You're going to, we're leaving this country. You're going to be a French actor. I'm going to put you in this school. And then, you know, if we have to split, that's what's going to happen. And so she put me in the school. I cried for probably six or seven months because it was horrible. I didn't understand anything. And I was doing math and science and history and geography in French.

And then finally, I did. And so in this film, you're speaking fluent French the entire time. And did it change your acting style that you're speaking in this foreign language? Oh, yeah. I'm a totally different person in French. First of all, I have a really high voice in French. I don't know. Why. Can you give me an example? Well, a lot of the ladies that I learned French from, they all spoke a little bit like this. And I guess I imitated them when I was a kid. So I have quite a confident way about me in English. And in French, I'm just a total vulnerable person. Very unsure of myself. And I wouldn't say screechy, but definitely a little bit higher voiced. Yeah, I have a totally different personality. I have the personality of somebody who's eternally

frustrated that they can't communicate themselves well enough. I swear to God, if I, I do speak some Spanish and I like to break it out every now and then. Oh, nice. And I was using it. I try and use it as much as I can in Los Angeles where there's a lot of opportunities to do it. It doesn't always go very well, but I like to try. And your voice gets a lot lower. Mine gets a lot lower and I sprout a little mustache, a little Telemundo mustache.

But I know that there's a rhythm to these languages. and you start to behave a little differently. And I would imagine if I spoke French, I could see myself becoming more existential and maybe a little more dismissive and, you know. And you should try it. Yeah. I could just learn French.

I know, I know, but I might start smoking. Yes, and drinking red wine. That's what happened to me. And drinking red wine at 11 in the morning. And just being never saying yes, that sounds like a good idea. just being, I don't know, you see. I don't know.

But I do think that different languages. That's true. Yeah. I'm playing expatriate in the movie. So there's something about that. You know, people that leave everything behind and they say my whole identity, everything that I am, my past, my family,

everything about me that I've always considered as me. I'm going to leave that behind. I'm going to break out and be a brand new person. And in some way, very often, ex-patriots choose some fantasy version of what it would be like to be a French person. You know, suddenly they're wearing a beret and their, you know, their houses right on one of those lovely parks

and they start telling you their own vacation and that they can't do things. But I thought that was interesting, an interesting thing to explore. Like, who wants to erase their past and become this new fantasy? And what happens when you do that? How do your relationships suffer? And do you become, I think the irony is, and the film does have a lot of comedy to it.

The irony is that this psychoanalyst, very Freudian psychoanalyst, which we make a lot of fun of her because of that, goes on this murder investigation thinking that her patient's been killed potentially. And then very quickly realizes, oh, no, she's just investigating herself. So she kind of goes on it through hypnosis and a number of things. It starts realizing that maybe she's not a great mom and that she, you know, there's parts of her relationship with her ex that she still has questions about. So it's more of a self-discovery movie than it is a murder mystery. What's the longest time you've ever spent living in France or a foreign country? Because that's a little bit of a... Yeah. It's a common dream, but I've always thought I would like to live in Paris for a year or London for a year or Dublin for a year and just immerse myself in being someone slightly different. You get to be a different person when you're in another country. Well, you get to do that when you're on location as an actor.

Because when you're on location as an actor, you usually there for three and a half months. If you're a director, you're there for a different. at least six months. If you're doing a limited series like True Detective, I was there for seven months, but the director was there for a year and a half in Iceland, Rukuvik Iceland. So, yeah, you get to become this brand new person that's obsessed with something. If you're making a show or making a movie, you're just obsessed 24-7 with this one thing. And it's every bit of energy that you have is put into this one thing. And that's how I like to live. We, I mean, I do these travel shows and I get to go someplace for usually about 10 days, but I do, and even in given 10

days, I try to forget. And it's really nice because sometimes you're in countries where they don't know who you are, they don't care, and you get to be someone else. And I love to just, you know, when you're in the van and you're going to the next location and you're driving through Manila or you're driving through. Mumbai, looking in little side streets and wondering, okay, what is that person's life like? Or what does it like to live in that apartment or that house right there? And I find, I say this a lot, I think it's the best antidote to ignorance is to go to other places,

talk to other people, see how they live. It's this great lufa that, you know, because we all get desensitized. Travel as much as you can. It doesn't have to be expensive traveler or any travel, but just go. someplace and try to take in what it's like to not be you. Yeah. And it doesn't mean that you ever really come to this conclusion where you totally understand that culture. You never will, right? You're, you're going to, you'll always be bringing baggage from your own background and your own culture, but that's part of it is growing and learning and evolving and changing. So that's kind of what I do

when I'm not shooting is, well, first of all, I go home and I, you know, walk the dog every single day at the same time and I eat the same thing for breakfast and I, you know, I do, I love my routine. And then I start getting a little itchy. And then that's the thing that I like to do. I like to travel. The same thing every morning? Yeah, I'm one of those. Is it anything crazy or is it pretty simple? No, it's really simple.

I'm granola. I'm a granola person. I get you. I know. That has some bad references. Oh, I like to party. I know. I get you. Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah. Let's talk. You're saying it like, I like cocaine, too. Oh, I got a granola guy if you want to meet him. Okay. Yeah. You got me granola with you right now.

It's crazy. My wife Liza makes granola. It's like the greatest granola in the world and the smell just fills the house. And I'm thinking, oh, wow, you know, that should be a cologne. Where if that is a cologne? Well, that might be your next sponsorship. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Con and granola.

And it kind of, there's a ring to it. Yeah. Cone and granola. Coan granola. Right after we sell the pomade, the con in pomade. Yeah. We're going to do that. That's going to be a real money maker.

Conanola. What? Conanola. I messed it up. I don't think so. I was trying to combine granola with Conan. What? I should own it.

There are no mistakes. Okay, I was trying to combine Conan with granola and it didn't go well. So I'm sorry. Conanola. Never call out a mistake. Okay. All right. Conanola.

Yeah, said I killed it. That's what show business is. Yeah, that's right. The biggest mistake all those years of doing a late-night show that I ever saw was a guest would come out. and it's going okay. And then the guests would inevitably like maybe three minutes in or four minutes if they hadn't been to the rodeo before. They would say, I'm sorry, this is just terrible.

And the whole audience would say, I could see them, they would completely lose the audience. Because the audience would say, we've just been told this isn't good. And I would think to myself, don't ever tell them this isn't good. But Conan Ola was bad. Oh, terrible.

Yeah, yeah, it was bad. Absolutely terrible. And I'm glad it was the only thing you chive. I was saving it. When you brought up granola, I was like, this is my moment. Yes, this is my back pocket. You've been honing that all night. If she brings up granola, I'm going to say conanola. But now, like, we wouldn't be here at this moment without it. Sonos, you're a genius. You know, Jody, you have, and it's such a part of your personality, especially when the times I've gotten to

know you, but your sense of humor. You have a great sense of humor. And one of the things that I, and I remember because I think sometimes when someone has success on a certain level in these important areas in film and you think, oh, well, you know, it's Jody Foster. And I remember the first time you came on the late night show, I was thinking, oh, you know, I, you know, I, okay, I, I don't know how this is going to be. I've got to be ready because Jody Foster's coming. She's very important. And then you said, like, midway through the interview that you wanted to wear a Wisconsin cheese head. Yes, that's my team. On your head.

Yes, that is your team. Yeah, Big Packers fan. So you brought a big block of cheese that fits on your head. And I think I wore one too. Yeah. And I was like. I left the beer cozy at home. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I remember thinking like, oh, and it's just, I mean, it is sort of like, oh, my God, there's Lawrence Olivier. Oh, he's got a fart cushion with him. It made me really happy. Thank you. I'm a really light person. Honestly, people say it's like, wow, you're so serious. I'm like, why they ask me those serious questions? Of course, I'm going to respond seriously.

But no, I'm a very light person. And strangely, I just love dark drama. I love doing dark drama, but I'm not, there's not a moment of darkness. Really, what you see is, that's it. There's nothing more. All right. Well, it has been an absolute thrill talking to you. I've not seen a private life yet,

but I'm thrilled to see it. I watched the trailer. It looks so good. Yeah, it's so excited to see this. It harkens back to another time, you know, kind of a Woody Allen movie of the old days that, you know, you could have something that has many different genres.

So it's kind of like a comedy, but it's sort of a romantic thing, but it's also a thriller and kind of a mystery. And probably you also felt a little bit of freedom that if you're making a film like this, and it's in French that there's like this freedom almost to switch genres a little more and not be pigeonholed.

Yeah, and even like, well, so what? I mean, I just want to do something hard. I like doing hard things. And if it's no good, then too bad. Say love you. I'll just go home and polish all my awards. Oh, you didn't like it, did you? Is that an Oscar?

Well, it's my second one. Ew, hey, oh, hey, oh, hey, oh, hey, oh. Oh, okay. Well, don't you feel crushed it? Not really. Well, Jody, I hope we've edged you a little bit out of ambivalence, but that's going to maybe take a while. Thank you so much. This was a real joy.

Yeah, me too. Really fun. Okay. America's been holding its breath. And I say America, the world. We are a global concern. Recently, I believe it was Netflix, announced that they were coming out with a new star search. And to promote it, they were.

talking about all the great stars that were discovered on Star Search. And all these impressive names went flying around the screen. And my name was there. And this puzzled us because I really have no connection to Star Search. I didn't start out on Star Search, as Sona pointed out. I have no real talent. Oh. I just wasn't sure what your talent would be.

I don't think you know either. You don't know either. Yeah, yeah. It's fine. It's fine. Ventriloquist. But anyway. Ventriloquist.

I, uh, that's what I would have tried. So, respect. So, uh, this, this was a puzzle. And we brought in, uh, our, uh, crack legal expert who works here at Team Coco, David Melmed. And this is now part three because the story keeps evolving. Now, David, welcome.

Uh, thank you for, uh, having me here today. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Uh, okay. Well, God. All right. God, he's giving incredibly formal.

Yeah. Yeah. And you know what? I love your jazz station. I just, it's cool jazz. I've been working on that voice. David, we brought you in to ask you some questions. You've been very helpful.

All of us were first wondering why they might have been using my name, promoting Star Search and inferring that I was someone who came up through Star Search when I did not. Yes. Sona was very angry on my behalf and said she wanted to cut a bit. Cut a bitch. Cut a bitch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was not angry.

I was interested in both being paid, but I didn't want it taken down, which you said was a very complicated legal maneuver. I wanted to insist because I love my name being out there. So all this to say, things have evolved. What's the latest, David Melmed? The latest is your name has been taken down. Okay.

That's not what I want. I know. I know, so I apologize for that. But it has been. Is this because you took some action? I'd like to think that I was part of it, but I think it was sort of a collaborative discussion. Discussion.

They heard the podcast. They did. They did. They did. They did. So they yield some power. They did. And they, you didn't make a call.

I did not. Oh. I did not. You were saying, well, I'd like to take some credit. Yeah. You didn't do anything. Well, that's, I was on the podcast. I was on the podcast.

Like most lawyers, no, I was. And then you're getting paid. I sat here to discuss. Oh. His presence is everything. Yeah. Yeah. Sure.

But no, no. I think it was, it was. It was a, the group discussion, I think, went out. And immediately, I wouldn't say immediately. I would say in the next 24 hours. That is fast. And were you told why? Is there a reason?

I looked into it. Okay. And I don't want to say that this is exactly what happened, but I have a pretty good idea how it happened. Well, this is why we brought you in. And the only reason we brought you in. Let's hear what you have to say. So I think it's a two part.

Okay. First, I think there was a, I think the first part is there was a human error. The second part, which I think is more interesting, is it was an AI hallucination. Oh, that's fascinating. Yes. So tell us how this happened. And you know what? As always, David Melmedd walked in with a lot of notes.

Yes. And it's a printout. And then it's just covered in highlights. It looked like you just took the MCAT. Yes. Highlights and squiggles and notes. Tell us what happened. Isn't the L-SAT for lawyers?

I changed him over to a doctor, MCAT. Oh, oh, okay. Yeah, he already took the L-SAT, clearly. Oh, yeah. But I wanted to take the M-Cat. Oh, I didn't get it. Good call. Okay.

Worthwhile interruption. And, man, are we the podcast that never has a hitch? Go ahead, David. Okay, Dr. David. So, okay, let's get into the, I can't tell you exactly how the human error. But I would imagine that someone within the marketing team at Netflix was asked to research this. It's a reboot. It's a ton of celebrities.

When you hear Star Search have been on the show, right? Beyonce, Adam Sandler. Chappelle, Brittany, I mean, the list goes on and on. It's an impressive list of huge stars. So if you were to run this- Buddy Ebson, go ahead, continue. Buddy Ebb, yes. Brad Garrett was one.

Okay. I think if you were to run a search in just a basic, I'm just going to use chat GPT, for example, right? That's kind of everyone knows that. Or Gemini. What is Conan's connection to the show. We've said none.

But your connection to star search in terms of a search and I did look up some past connection that you may have had at least in print.

So I just want to read you something that... Yeah, if you could end this sentence, I'd be thrilled. I just want to... This plane has been circling the airport for a while.

Am I building... You know what? I'm worried you're running low on fuel. I am. And you know what? There's a fog coming in off the Pacific. This is our third's installment.

of this segment, we have about eight minutes to get through this. Oh, we will. Don't worry. Don't you worry. As soon as he's done talking, we'll be more confused than that. So in 1993, you took over late night. Yep. There was an article that was written that suggested O'Brien had probably had less quality

experience than an average star search contestant. Right, right. Okay. Hey, that is the, first of all, that's the tenor of the environment I was working in. And at the time I was proud, my dad got an article published. But, yeah, I came out of nowhere and people were freaked out. That was my sort of hesitation to say that because I didn't know how you would take it. Listen, I've been slam before I'll be slammed together.

Andy, your former sidekick, did a remote as a judge in 1994 on Star Search. So that would be a possible connection there. You've also had Ed McMahon on your show multiple times, right? So there's that connection. connection. And then the Netflix is current. You know, you mentioned the Mark Twain Award. Yep. So if you were just to run a basic sort of, and celebrities, possibly including Conan O'Brien, the AI would generate your name on a list, right? Yeah. So where that runs into issue is the verification. And it's become a problem. It's become a problem within marketing, within companies

like a Netflix. You need someone to double check, chat, GPT. Right? Correct. You need someone to double check because AI, here's the thing. I am connected to many things because I've interviewed hundreds of thousands of people. That's insane. That's not true. But a lot. I've interviewed a lot of people and there are all these different connections and the different bits I've done and the parodies. So, yes, chat, GPT is going to be throwing my name into lists of serial killers, recipes, you know, various weather conditions. I'm going to be showing up in a lot of places I shouldn't show up.

Yes. And I think what's interesting to you, and let's so, if we narrow this just to comedy, AI can't differentiate between what satire and what is true. I see. AI is not, there's no fact-finding mission within AI.

It just reads patterns. Okay. Right. So that, I thought this was going to be more fun. This is more fun. No, but I think.

You thought him explaining AI was going to be fun? I didn't know that it was going to go this deep. Oh, yeah. And we're also at our time limit. Also, also, You're not interjecting at all.

You're just listening to him. In my defense, I fell soundly asleep. I know, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean you should interrupt you. And you know what? I got to the deepest level of sleep. Yes. I think the point.

A level of sleep that is very restorative. I read in an article about this that the Backstreet Boys were also included and they were never on Star Search either. So it's like a double mistake that no one's verified. What I want to know is has Netflix answered for this? Yeah. Have they issued an apology? They have not.

They have not. Also, can I just be careful here? Yes. I'm okay if people want to list me as one of the greats that came up through Star Search along with Beyonce and Adam Sandler and, you know, Dave Chappelle and fine. Go for it. I was not insulted. You were the one that was insulted.

I was upset. And now my name has been ripped from this promotion. Yes. I think I've figured it out. Oh. While you guys were discussing. Oh, wait. So we brought in. I'm sorry.

We brought in, we saw it. We brought in Melmed. Yes. We brought in Melmette who brought in a ton of notes. Yes. And then blithered and blathered. And then you quietly have the answer? Well, because thanks to Melmidd's suggestion.

Nice saved. I decided to Google again, just kind of Conan O'Brien and Star Street. Oh, so you did in a second what he's been spending. He's been in a library for six weeks. But you also did the thing he said was erroneous in the first place. It's a Blake, could you put this on the screen? I found this article from June. If you look at the date.

June 5th, 20203, and it was by this website or this publication, and it lists 39 stars. And Conan, you are, along with some of those others that we saw on that screenshot, you are listed here. That's crazy. This has to be the source. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. This is an article from... From 2023.

But it says it's in the Saturday evening post. Right. That's a magazine that went out of business when we won World War II. The last person read the last Saturday evening post. So my guess is that whoever at Netflix was in charge of putting this list together found this article and did not do any further research. Are the Backstreet Boys listed in this? Sharon Stone? Steve Odin-Garrow.

Backstreet boys are listed. Oh, wait, it says crazy. So I think, Aguardo. Charles Manson? That's insane. That is insane. I think what also, just to elaborate, I'm going to, what do we say, piggyback on that? I think that is what AI would do.

take an article like this in addition to what has already been existing and it would spit out your name. So AI is reading the Saturday evening post. No, no, no. I don't think it's reading. It's, it's that someone has entered this data into the platform. And I guess the point is the, the verification is the important part that in, in business, you know, and I will, I know you're falling asleep, Conan, but I will say, I'm not, but you know what, I just woke up because I have a dentist to point. Oh, okay. I'm sorry. I think the important. thing is damages. Netflix owes money or an explanation. All of us an apology. Yes, they do. Yeah. Well, I don't see how you guys come into it. I don't see how you guys come into it.

We're part of your lore now. No, no, please, no, damages for you. You mentioned legacy, though, right? You mentioned legacy and the idea of there's a legal claim of false light where it's, you know, it's highly offensive. Your professional legacy, where you came from, where you started, right? They were. Am I right? And I know you hate when I use this word, but I'm going to use it again. I'm using it a lot later. They're getting some Riz off of my name, right?

Yes. You know, suddenly they're like Ansel Elgort because they use my name. Yes. Is that A, a person, and B, that I use Riz correctly? It is a person. I don't think you used it correctly because Netflix is like, is a streaming service. So why would the streaming service? I guess maybe, I don't know.

I just want you to stop saying the word. You think you sexted it up. Yeah, I gave them Riz. You think you did. You made this rated G. Yeah. Ah. Okay.

You brought it down for something, you know, flyover states. Listen, I think for the first time, this was valuable of this conversation, and I'm desperate to figure this out because I want it to be valuable. I think for the first time, someone finally has pointed out that AI might be problematic. Oh. Yes. And that's what I was trying to articulate. Okay.

Yeah. Yeah. And I know I'm going to get comments. You don't know this. I'm speaking general. Are you reading the comments you get? Don't. Never read your...

I said comments may. And yes, I read every... Are you kidding me? Wait a minute. This is the... Oh, absolutely. But I bet people are loving you. So when you're on our podcast, you read the comments?

If I don't read them, they are sent to me. Right. Well, if I don't read them, they're sent to me anyway. Okay. Usually, oh, did you see this? Did you see this? Did you see this? And you're the negative ones?

Hey, can I... A question. Yes. Do you bill me for your time when you're... reading your comments? Of course I do, Conan. Do people? Right?

Because I got a bill from you the other day for $600,000. Yes. And it said comment reading. And that was a discount. Yeah. That was a friends and family. So don't read the comments. You get objectified because of how he objectifies you?

I'm not going to tell you exactly what these comments. Yes, look what you did. I pointed out that he's a good-looking fellow. You objectified him and now the comments think it's okay to do that. Oh, so now we live in an era where one guy can't say to a man. employee. You're a good looking guy. Sexy. I want to do you?

I'll do you like a ham sandwich. No. What? I just made it up. I'll do you like a ham sandwich. It's a joke I read in a 1945 version of edition of the Sunniaming Post. Listen, we're going to wrap this up. But Melmed, thank you for the deepest sleep I've had in a while. Yes.

Restorative sleep. Yes, absolutely. Really like cells dividing. Cells that usually don't regenerate. Nerve cells. Correct. Regenerating in my body right now because you droned on. But I also thank you for your expertise for putting the time in.

And I want to thank you, Eduardo, for within seconds of this guy consulting shelves full of old English legal volumes. And you just checked out the internet. And it said, I think it's this article. And you went, excuse me, might be this one. And you in the corner, you opened. a book that's as large as an adult heavy man, and you blew onto it. Dustin Moths flew everywhere.

That's true. And you know what he did, though? You verified. That's the genius. Yeah. I mean, that's what they needed to do. Yeah. Right.

Trust but verify. Yeah. Verify. Reagan. This has been gotten to the bottom of, but I don't think satisfaction is here. Netflix, you owe an apology. Yeah.

Fucking bitches. That right. Yeah. Cut that bitch. Yes. Cut that bitch. We're coming to yours. office and we're going to start

cutting some bitches and Netflix you've been warned bitch. Netflix? I just want to point out I don't take part in this feud. This guy wants to pleasure a bitch. I know. I think you are a very comely bitch. I like the turn of your ankle. I like the way the sun glistens off your brow. And I

want no trouble from you. You, king of all streamers, you? And rightly so. rightly so Netflix And sell out No we want an apology We want some money Love you Netflix Bye

Conan O'Brien needs a friend With Conan O'Brien Sonam of Sessian and Matt Goreley Produced by me Matt Goreley Executive produced by Adam Sacks Jeff Ross and Nick Leow Theme song by the White Stripes

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