Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - John Krasinski

Episode Date: June 7, 2021

Actor/director John Krasinski feels effervescent about being Conan O’Brien’s friend. John sits down with Conan to talk about going from an intern at Late Night to a megastar as Jim on The Office, favorite bits out of Boston, and the parallels between his new film A Quiet Place Part II and the tumultuous year of pandemic. Plus, Conan puts his vocal skills to the test with a wartime edition of Sound Effects Theater.  Got a question for Conan? Call our voicemail: [phone].For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com.

Hi, my name is John Krasinski, and I feel effervescent about being Conan O'Brien's friend. There it is. That's what I wanted to hear. That was spoken from the heart. I really believe this is the biggest thing to ever have. You are now passing me a 20. It's relatively cheap. Hello, and welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, started out as a bit of a lark,

didn't it, Sona? When we first started doing this, remember, we just were screwing around with two microphones, and I don't even think, Mr. Gorley, were you even part of the project? I think I did like it. No, I don't think you were. You were driving, I was a hitchhiker, and you picked me up on like the way to the third episode or something. Yeah.

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. I picked you up, and yes, you tried to murder me, but I got the knife away from you and then you said, oh, I also produce podcasts. I murder people that pick me up on the road. I picked up a hitchhiker once. Who?

In Hawaii. We were in Maui. Who's we? Me, Erica Brown, and Ashley Olivia, who used to also work on the show, and I was like, we should pick him up. It's Hawaii, and it's fun, and Erica was like, he's a stranger, and I said, once we pick him up, he'll probably be fine, and he wasn't. So okay, I'm surprised because Erica Brown has worked for our show for many years, continues

to work for us, and lovely, and I had lunch with her today, by the way. She's fantastic. She's the best. Very sensible. Yeah. Smart and sensible. If Erica Brown said, no, no, no, don't pick up this person, this person seems sketch, I wouldn't do it, you ignored Erica Brown, which was your first mistake.

You picked up this person, describe him. So he was like just this regular guy, and I thought- Is this Tak? Yes, it's the person she married. How Tak and I met. This is a cute meat. That's what it's called. Me cute.

Me cute. Me cute meat, I suppose. It's not a cute meat. It's a me cute. Well, okay. I like to quickly add, like I've heard it both ways, which isn't true. You do a meat cute to meet someone's cute meat. Okay.

It is cute, like genitals? Oh, it could be. I'm not saying. Oh, okay. All right. I'm sorry. What a horrible euphemism for genitals. I like your cute-

You said it. Cute meat. Yep. It was a meat cute to meet cutes. What? No. This is awful. No, no, it was a meat cute to see cute meat.

Yeah. And then I was, I, I've translated cutes as like genitals, like it's a meat, it's a meat cute. That's what I meant. Okay. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah.

You need to get on the same page. I don't see what you guys are talking about at all. I've never been more disconnected in a conversation in my, in my life, and this is a podcast. You're on your own podcast. I'm on my own podcast, which apparently has a massive audience and I talk for a living and in my personal and private life and public life, I've never had a conversation where I feel this lost. Yeah.

I don't know what you're talking about. Tell us what this guy looked like for Christ's sake. Okay. So he was like this, just this normal white guy. He was on the side of the road in Hawaii. When we picked him up, I was like, I'm sure we'll get to know him and it'll be fun and we'll become friends. We find out he's squatting in a house in Maui with his like partner and their kids.

He smokes a lot of meth, a lot of meth, goes to raves a lot, does a lot of ecstasy and every time he reached into his bag to get something, we were like, he's going to pull out a machete and he's going to kill all of us. You know what? You know what? Hard to use a machete in an enclosed space. You need to, if there's an arc to that weapon, I wouldn't worry. If I was in a car with someone on the other machete, I'd say, do your best.

All they're going to do is cut up, yeah, this is a rental, go for it. It's got a low roof. You're not going to be able to get the full extension. Go for it. Let's see. And then as he tried to get at me, but kept hitting the seat belt and the window, I'd just be laughing like, keep trying, fucker. Yeah, antagonize the guy with the machete.

Yeah, come on. He hit the headrest. He'd be like, oh, my checker hit the headrest. And then I'd be like, try it again. Come on, buddy boy, put your back into it. I really taunt him. So wow. That was a stupid idea.

So how did you get rid of old methhead Jones? I was like, maybe he won't be in the car long. And then an hour and a half later, drop him off at his stop. Oh, so you took him to his stop? Yes. Did you ever think of pulling over to the side of the road and saying, can you get out? I'm worried about our left rear tire. And then peel out.

Did you think about doing that? No, I never did that. That's what I would have done. I've done that to my wife. Oh, okay. And I'm like, I'm worried about that tire, really? Yeah. And they're screech.

And then I get home first and we watch what I want to watch. You never picked up a hitchhiker? No. It's a good idea not to. Yeah. I was never tempted to pick up a hitchhiker. Yeah. But what were we talking about before this?

A meet in people's cute meat. Oh, great. I'm glad you reminded me. A meat cute so that you could, oh, I get why he's confused. What? Well, because I said it's a meat cute and then it was to meet cutes. What's cutes? That's what we were saying.

Genitals. That was what we were saying. But cutes aren't called genitals. I know. But we were saying it. I was thinking genitals are called cute meats. Cute meats. That's what I thought.

See, Matt. I messed up. Matt, that's what I thought. I messed up. That's what I thought. We know, Sona. We know. Yeah.

You don't have to keep yelling, I messed up. It's a given. You know? It's like a porpoise shouting, I'm all wet. We know. You live in the sea. You know? It's not necessary.

It's an octopus going, oh, I have lots of arms. We know. It's a camel. I could use a drink of water. We know, camel. We get it. It's a bird saying, I have the ability to fly. We know, bird.

It goes without saying. It's soup going, I tell you, I'm pretty hot right out of the microwave. We know soup. That's what you are. And you're like, I messed up. We know. You're Sona. The point is, it's all good.

It's all good. And you've got to see my range of voices there, from a camel to a hot bowl of soup. Ah, the actor's life for me. That's what awaits, once I can ditch this podcast. Wait, so who's on the show today? Yeah, that's a good question. Who are you? I'm a pop tart.

See? Didn't see that coming, did you? God, he's got so many voices. Hey, my guest today, starred as Jim Halpert on the Emmy Award-winning NBC series, The Office. His new movie, A Quiet Place Part Two, which he also wrote and directed, is in theaters right now. I'm very excited. He's with us today.

John Krasinski, welcome. We have an interesting history together. I'm not sure everybody's aware of it, but I'm just delighted, delighted for your success, excited to have you on the show and to talk to you about a million different things. I've been wanting to be on this show forever. I didn't know you had had other people. I thought I'd be his first guest because of how far we go back. We waited a long time.

And first of all, I intended to start a podcast eight years ago, and I said, John has to be the first one. We waited six years. And then finally, we're like, all right, Will Ferrell, let's go. I can't tell you how excited I am to be here. So and I saw you a very long time ago, but I've been listening all through quarantine. You're the heart and soul of this show. Oh, Conan, did you hear that?

We didn't start recording yet. I'm recording on my end. Yeah, I know, but we're having those tapes destroyed. That just made my whole day. No, this is truly, I know I've told you this in emails, but I'll just get it out of the way. You are without a doubt, and I've said this to you, one of the biggest inspirations on my entire career because when I was in college, I never did everything, anything, every night,

and I watched your show at 30 Rock, every single night, and I watched how comedy could be both ridiculously silly and hyper intelligent at the same time, and it was a brain explosion for me. So I immediately applied to your show. Well, that is a really sweet thing for you to say, and I really appreciate that. And it's funny is that you applied to be an intern on our show, so you were an intern, and this is way back in 2000, you were an intern. And recently, someone dug up like the Polaroid we speak of.

All the interns have Polaroids up on the refrigerator, so we know their names and everything. And there was a thing that just said, John, it's this Polaroid of you looking about 15. Yeah. Or 50, depending on the angle that you look at. Yes. There's an angle where you're a very old woman. It's a weird angle. You don't see it often, but.

It's like that. Was it Sports Illustrated, where Michael Jordan, if you moved it, his head would move for you. It was like one of those sport flick things. I was like, yes, yes. I've noticed that John Krasinski, depending on the angle, he can be an old Greek fisherman. There's so many things he can be if you just shoot him correctly, but we had this picture up of you. We found it recently.

You were a young, eager fellow, excellent intern. You were, I think, a monologue and script intern. I was. So I got the internship, and then they, I think it was two days later, they said, so we're doing this thing where you have to apply to be a script intern. And I applied with an amazing woman named Lauren Palmerance, who's gone on to do many things in this business as well. And that entailed, we were the only interns, I think, who got to go on the floor because

we had to hand out scripts and we had to be there for script changes. So I got to see all the rehearsals, all the crying, all the laughter. No, there is. I remember, I have a very clear memory of you being backstage, and I got to know you a little bit because you were always backstage when we read the jokes, and I always tried to keep it very loose. So I'm running, literally the band's playing, Max Weinberg sevens playing, I'm back behind the curtain, and, and you're standing there and you're, I'm reading through the jokes

and you're sort of observing me read through the jokes. And then I read one joke and I wasn't sure about it and I said, what do you think of that joke? And I was like, I don't know, I think, I think it's pretty good. And I just, because you're a big guy and I know you're Irish Catholic and you're from Newton and I'm from Brookline and it's rival towns, I thought, I have a sense of who I can do this with and who I can't. You said, I think it's okay.

And I grabbed you and pushed you up against the wall and said, what the fuck do you know? And then let you go just as they said, Conan O'Brien walked out with a big smile on my face and then you become this massive star and now, you know, filmmaker, director and retroactively I'm suing you retroactively, I'm really afraid that I fucked with the wrong guy. I actually remember that and there was more dialogue to it that I remember, at least my therapist and I have gone over it several times. And I said, I think it's really funny and I used to laugh at everything and I think you thought I was kidding or just trying to stroke your ego and instead I was genuinely

laughing and you pushed me up against the wall and you go, is it, is it funny? What is it that you kids do? Just go home and smoke weed and listen to Pearl Jam and I'll never forget that. What do you know? What do you know? You just go home and smoke weed and listen to Pearl Jam and then I remembered walking out and I used to feel like things backstage have to be insane for me to accept the reality of what I do for a living.

But it's totally interesting. Yes, there have been so many times that people on the show have seen me, you know, we have two, we have head writers as Matt and there's, and Mike Sweeney before him, I have physically fought them many times in the hallway, gotten them down on the ground and there's a rough housing thing that comes with our culture. I don't know what it is, but I always try and find people that are up for it. And to this day, even as an, as an older gentleman, my son is now like six, two, he's 15 years old and six, two.

I fight him regularly. I need to fight people. I remember it. I remember Mike Sweeney telling you that a joke wasn't going on the show and you said, it's going on. I can pull it off and he goes, we don't have time for it. It's not going on. And then he slowly walked down the hall and you started stalking him like a lion.

And he turned and he went, no, the answer is still no. And then finally you bent over in Greco Roman style and I was holding the scripts at the copier and I was like, this is going to happen. And you full tackled him, not like playful, like, no, no, no, I think his skull hit the floor. It had to. Yeah. And listen, for anyone listening, I know times have changed and you're not allowed to physically

fight anyone in the office anymore, which I find we're just losing something in our culture. There's nothing important that's being lost here and it's, it's tragic, but you worked for us and then you leave. And I remember this very clearly because it was so satisfying. You were very well liked. You leave. We all wish you well.

You come back like three years later. I can't remember exactly as a guest to as the first guest to promote the office. That's right. And I couldn't believe how quickly, I mean, it's one thing for people to leave and eventually do well, but it was insane how quickly you did well. That day, I remember vividly and then there are many pieces that are just holes because I blacked out several times, but I remember how surreal it was walking down that hallway that I had run down with golden rod scripts and had these people go, Oh, it is so good

to see you. I'm so glad it's you and all these incredibly nice things. Then you came into my dressing room and I remember nodding at you very much. And I fought you. This isn't over. Exactly. You punk. What are you listening to now?

Third eye blind. Sorry, go ahead. But I, but I remember it was PT that used to pull the curtain, right? Yep. Yep. Paul. So he used to pull the curtain and I remember he goes, we're all just in the drums are going and we're all just so proud of you.

Go out there and get them. And he pulled the curtain and I lost all consciousness and I walked, I guess I doddled up to you and you could see that my eyes had rolled back into my brain and you gave me the most firm loving handshake and you went, it's going to be great. Just sit down. It's going to be great. And remember that's what brought me back. Yeah.

And you were fantastic. And then I think we're all going to be watching the office 50 years from now. It's not going to lose its luster because there's nothing about it that feels fake or okay, that was great in its moment, but you had to be there. If anything, it's just continued to grow. Absolutely. And I think a lot of that has to do with how absolutely authentic Greg made it. And I know that you and Greg go way back, but Greg, who created our show,

Greg Daniels. Yeah. Were you guys roommates or just friends? No, Greg Daniels and I knew each other in college. We got to know each other actually senior year, kind of late in college. And then we decided we both wanted to try our hand in comedy and we were at the Crimson, right? No, not the Crimson.

Oh, good Lord. No, no. There's no commie at the Crimson. The reason why I brought up the Crimson is because you told that prank story at an NBC event. Yes. And I thought you were the Sex Pistols. I was like, that's the most punk rock thing I've ever heard.

Yeah. Well, Greg Daniels was part of that prank. Crimson is the newspaper at Harvard and it's a very serious place. And everyone there goes on to win Pulitzer's instantly. And then the Lampoon, which is the comedy magazine, is the opposite. So we decided to break in and Greg was there. I remember he was wearing camouflage pants. And we broke in and we stole that day's edition before it had gone out.

And I ended up kind of getting arrested. But you left everything but the telephone. I left everything. But I kept picking up the phone and going, the phone would ring occasionally and like an idiot, I had to do a bit. So I'd pick it up and go, hello, hello, front desk, no, Clark Kent's not here. I'll put you through to Perry White and hang up. And so they immediately knew something was wrong.

But they also gave you a Pulitzer, which was so weird. Yeah. I didn't know you could get a Pulitzer for being an ass. But anyway, Greg and I met at the Lampoon and then we decided neither one of us wanted to go out to LA alone. So we came out to Los Angeles. But we started out together. We had one really crappy car that we bought at the airport.

We bought a car at the airport, which don't do that. We bought one and we got tricked and we bought this an Asuzu Opel. We shared it and we shared an apartment and we had a desk that we sat on either side of at work. That's amazing. Yeah. It was like we were shackled together. But then he goes on and...

But he drew the cup, right? Didn't he make you the cup that's been on your desk? He made me the cup that's been on my desk for 28 years. We should have Greg on the show. What am I doing here? I'm not sure. I think you should move along. Could you get me a cup of coffee, please?

But no, my point was to say that I think that it was so authentic. And to be honest, like you said, ahead of its time in a way too authentic, certainly for the network, and I've told the story, but it was going to be canceled every single Friday. Yep. We had a very nice man who came down and he said, oh, I love it. We are not going to keep making this. It's a bummer.

And then you basically get a call, I guess, like over the weekend or something and says, all right, come back for Monday. We'll do one more. And I asked this guy for a DVD of the episode so I could prove to my mom that what I was doing was real so that she didn't think I was just like on a beach in California pretending to be an actor. And I still have that DVD, but I also remember, you know, a lot of people say we owe everything to the fans, but we genuinely owe the entire show to the fans because at the exact same

time iTunes had come out and iPods had come out. And I remember walking through New York, I went back to waiting tables after the part of the office. So that's how little confidence I had in Greg. And a guy held up his iPod and he said, look, man, you're on my iPod. I said, A, what's an iPod and B, why am I two inches tall on this small piece of tech? And that's it. As soon as people bought a show that they could see for free on Thursdays or Tuesdays

or whenever it was at the time, they had to keep the show on. So we had our fan base actually save our show. You know, we went through the exact same thing as you probably know at late night before you got there, but in the early years, we were supposed to get canceled pretty much every week. And that's what I would read in the paper. And that's what people would tell me on the street. But what I always knew was that young people were saying, oh my God, that thing you did

last night. And I said, that's really weird. Yes. Executives are telling me this is no good. And then I'm getting like a high five. Yeah. And people come up to you and go, I'll cut you, fool. And you're like, is that Pimpa?

Oh my God. Yeah. They're doing, they're courting stuff from the show. And but this is a good lesson for people listening. You know, I'm sitting here, I'm talking to John Krasinski and he's telling you and he's right because I know this from Greg. The office was a very tenuous proposition for the first year at Seinfeld was a very tenuous proposition for the first year or two.

Some things are a big hit right away. And what happens is history gets rewritten. Yeah. So a world without the office now seems impossible, but it almost didn't happen. It could have easily gone away, all one executive had to do was remember to cancel it and it would have probably gone away. But that didn't happen. So it becomes part of the culture.

And it's really so important to people. And what I think is, and you can talk to this, you're very, and you and the cast are very funny in the show, but you're playing the reality of whatever's happening. I also think there's an emotional undercurrent to it all. And I think that that feels very real because you don't always like your coworker. You are sort of intimidated by your boss. You do have feelings for people. And I think that undercurrent is something that the show scratches where people can identify

themselves, whatever walk of life you are, you can identify yourself in that and you can identify your coworkers and your friends and everything. So it feels like you're a part of the show, at least that's how I see it. And the biggest compliment for us, and again, I don't usually speak for the whole cast, but I think I can say this is especially during the past year. The greatest thing about this show is when people say, hey, that really got me through the hardest time of my life, not a hard time, the hardest time in my life. I remember I had flown all night once on a red eye and this girl came up to me.

She was very, very sweet. And she just handed me this note. She barely said anything. She said, hi, I don't want to bother you, but I just wanted to give you this note. And I thought, oh, that's nice. And I got in my car, I opened the note and it said, I just wanted to let you know my dad passed last week, and I had to tell you that because of you, the last memory I have is of him laughing because the last week of his life, we just sat and watched the office.

He was very sick. And I just, that blew my mind. It still chokes me up to think about it now, but the fact that you're not, it goes beyond entertainment, you're somebody's friend, you're somebody's comfort blanket. That's what I think is the beauty of the show and the most important thing to me and why it's such an honor to be a part of it. I mean, you can't ask, there are nice things that come with show business, obviously, but when you have that experience of someone saying to you, oh no, you're, I was very depressed

and then I saw you and it made me happy and it brought me some joy, that thing that you made and you made it years ago. And so much has happened for you since then, but that's a gift that's going to keep giving for you. You know, that's going to, what's nice is that, I think 20 years from now, when people have episodes of the office implanted at birth into their brain, it'll be mandatory, a governmental make that happen. But that's the thing.

Again, you owe it to Greg because he also recalibrated all of our level of storytelling. I mean, for me, the truth is I would never have done a quiet place if it wasn't for advice that Greg gave me years ago where he said exactly what you just said. I was very nervous and he said, you look weird as something going on. I said, oh no, this is just my favorite joke in the script. I want to make sure I deliver it funny and he went, whoa, whoa, whoa, you don't deliver anything funny. You deliver it truthfully and it's up to them out there in TV land if they think it's funny

or not. And if they think that a moment with you and Jenna is emotional or not, don't play emotion, don't play funny. And so when I sat down to rewrite the first script of a quiet place, I said, I don't know how to do a scary movie. I don't know how to do scares. And I just thought, write what you know, write characters that people fall in love with and whatever happens to them will be up to you.

And so as soon as I started writing this family and made it a family drama, all the scares just laid themselves down. It wasn't about trying to scare people. It was organic. Yeah. And falling in love with these characters and you'll be terrified to see anything bad happen to them. I had the pleasure.

I have not seen a movie in a theater in whatever it's been 15 months because of COVID. So I get the great news that you're going to do the podcast. And you've agreed to the terms, the finances. The payment is made. Took two months. But we're here. I can't believe you're paying me. I'm getting $800,000 for John to be here.

But anyway, I hear, yeah, would you like to see a quiet place too? And I loved the first one. And I said, yeah. Now I was dreading seeing this because for the last 15 months, when I see someone's movie, they send it to me on a special secure link and I watch it on my computer, my laptop. And there's a watermark across the front of it that says Conan O'Brien. That's nice. On it.

And so what happens is there'll be sex scenes. So these two attractive people will be going at it in the end. And my name just goes, wow, and it's very disturbing. I don't know what that it's, and it takes me out of the film every time. And then it's also kind of erotic for me. But the point is, I really didn't want to see the movie that way. And your office called and said, you can see it in this amazing Dolby Theater and you can bring a couple of people from your show.

So we went yesterday. First of all, Jen, you were at the screening yesterday. Yes. That opening sequence was phenomenal. I was in the whole time. And you know, it was so funny. There was, I think, someone, we, so we leave the theater and we tell the people there how much we love the movie.

And then we're out on the sidewalk and we're just in Hollywood Boulevard, which is Sreaks of Uron. I turned out it was mine. So we're all chatting about how much we love the movie when someone walks by who either works for you or the studio and had kind of had overheard us. And I thought, most screenings I walk out of, I'm like, oh God, what am I going to say? You know, I mean, that's a lot of screenings I see. And this person walked by and I went, oh, thank, she heard that we actually were talking

about how much we love the movie and how we actually thought it exceeded the first one and heard us really talking about it. And I thought we're busted, but in such a good way. That's amazing. Yeah. We were just, we were completely blown away. And I'm really glad you did the origin story of that effect is, I've seen aliens show up in every different movie and I thought you guys found a new scary, scary, quiet way for

them to show up and everybody's reaction was just, you know, it reminded me of like Roy Scheider. That's exactly what I based it on. Oh, really? It was a beach scene in Joss. Oh, fuck. Because I remember there's this part where you're looking and I'm like, this is Roy Scheider realizing everything is different.

That's right. And you, everybody starts to run, let's not run, everyone starts quietly backing away. And I'm watching it and I'm terrified. But in a way, I think so many people misunderstand that terror has to be used. I mean, it's like, you have to be very careful, calibrating that. That's exactly what I remember when I was doing my first movie I was directing, I told my mom there was going to be something graphic in it and she said, yeah, just don't make it too graphic.

You know, everybody's imagination is so far beyond anything that you can show them on film and it's true. And so when you put something small like that in the sky, people are like, what the? Behind clouds. Yeah. Behind clouds. And you can't quite see, but it doesn't look good. And you just slowly, and I thought that was really a testament to, I know that technically

that's there in the writing, but it's also like, that's directing to me. That's saying I am going to gently play with these dials very and so that, but I can't believe that's what I thought of is Roy Scheider. Exactly. And Joss, and then you saying that's what I was thinking about, wow, I am a very good film critic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You are.

Emily, your wife is brilliant as always. Thank you. And also I would think to be, you're directing this movie, your life is the lead and there's pressure like you can't shoot, you know, she's gorgeous. She's one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen, but you have to make, you know, it's like you, you don't want to, you want to make sure that you capture her correctly because she's going to really be pissed at you when you get home if she looks at the dailies and it's like, what happened?

Totally. Well, there's just, you know, the, there's a water scene. I won't get anything. By the way, I just blacked out again. That is the kindest, most amazing and coming from you genuinely, it means so much more to me coming from you. And I think the fact that I said, if he's comfortable, would he ever go to a theater? I had to make that happen for you because I, I want it.

I mean, obviously I'm going all over the country trying to say thank you to the people coming back to the theater. Yes, absolutely go see our movie, but go see movies. And so hearing that from you was so, so amazing. The cinematography, it looks gorgeous. And there are moments in the movie that Emily looks almost like a Renaissance painting. Like this is sort of like a golden Vermeer. Yeah, exactly.

She's and, and, and, but the kids in this film, Millicent Simmons and was it Noah Joop, yep, that's it, um, they are spectacular. It's very hard for a child to find a good, you know, a child actor who can do what these kids can do. Oh, absolutely. Um, because their roles are bigger in this film. Absolutely. Yeah.

And I'd always been told never work with kids because they're the most unprofessional. They never learn their lines. They have school. They have all these needs and you're going to lose all your days. Well, I got two kids who are without a doubt, not only two of the most talented people I've ever worked with, but two of the most incredible humans. They're so deep. I mean, if you really think about it on the first one, I believe they were 13 and 12, right?

And to even be able to process themes like, uh, that level of loss, your dad's basically blaming you for said loss, things like that. Not only could she process and know a process, but they were able to articulate it specifically in a performance was mental. I mean, it was just incredible. So we were, we were saving time. I was the least professional person on the first one. That's why I killed myself.

Um, hey, hey, Hey, yeah, he hasn't seen the first one. Maybe he dies. Maybe he doesn't, but he dies. But you know, it's crazy. It's like, we have to talk about this when you made the first one, you didn't know there'd be a sequel. Uh, I don't know. No, not at all.

You thought, okay, I'm going to try this and we'll see what happens and it becomes, uh, you know, you write and direct this movie. It's a massive hit. It's a critical hit. People love it. And you must have thought to yourself, now I'm gonna do the sequel. Oh, shit.

I killed myself for it. Why did I do that? I mean, and it's important that you did. Well, my agent said that and called me immediately. You could have done the old- He's like, look, Hamlet, it worked. He just brink of you come back as a ghost. Or else, it's that other thing too,

it's so many movies just when the first one's a hit and the person's died. And I can think of so many where it starts with the second one, and you've basically been torn to shreds, but you slowly get up and go, ah! And Hamlet, yeah, your wife comes running over and sews you up and you're like, ah, Tylenol.

And then you're okay. Yeah. You're okay. You walk with a slight limp. Did you read the first draft of the sequel? I did. You called me up and I went, I think I come back. Oh, God.

Well, the funny thing was, the first movie, I can't put too fine a point on it. It was, we made the movie for $17 million, which in the world of movies is very small. We had gone through a transition at the studio where there was a whole new batch of people who had nothing to do with making the movie, but now had the movie in their hands

who were incredibly supportive, but they didn't know what it was. They had no idea. So we were going into this thing completely flying blind. And without a doubt, I think the highlight of my career was going down to Austin, Texas, to South by Southwest and having 16, I went from zero people seeing it,

or maybe my wife, one person, and then 1600 people saw it the next day. And we were driving over there and I remember my wife said, can I ask you a question? My wife's like a weird, incredible sage. And she goes, one thing, you get one thing that you wanna pay attention to tonight and then let everything else go.

And I said, okay. I said, she's like, what's the one thing you'd like to see? And I said, well, I heard of some of these festival things they applaud at the end, that would be nice. Just if they liked the movie, that would be nice. She goes, great. Then focus on that one thing

and don't be thinking about this note and that note and what you should have done. So I say, great. And then we get in there and of course, everyone's dead silent through the movie. And I keep leaning over to Emily going, that's it. That's my career. It's over.

And she goes, I think they love it. And I was like, they clearly don't love it. They're not making any noise. And then you shouldn't go to your own screen, by the way, because people can hear you. This isn't work. Is that John Krasinski? Isn't this his movie?

This is a failure. I can't believe I'm Jim from the office. John Krasinski, the guy you know. And then at the end of the movie, she cocks that gun and everyone jumped out of their seats and started shaking the seats, which I had never seen before. And I have to talk to somebody

about blacking out all the time. But I definitely sort of, everything became distorted. I have no recollection of what happened at that moment. And it was just a wild thing. So my point was I was never gonna do a sequel. The studio had asked and said, would you do a sequel? I said, no way, because that was the most personal movie to me.

That, to me, was a love letter to my kids. That was about what would you really do for your kids and all that. And so it really was the idea of making Millie the lead character in the movie. That became the thing that I thought, well, if we could do that, that would be pretty exceptional. Making the kids the lead of the movie,

sort of not only is it great because they can pull it off, but they represent all the themes and metaphors of the first one, like family, like carrying the mantle of the people and the generation before you better than they could and hope and all these amazing things. You know, it's funny because you brought up, or people are asking you,

are you gonna make a sequel? And I think you can relate to this. There is kind of a Catholic Boston thing. Absolutely. Of who am I to blank? Yeah. Who am I to? And it's, the Irish call it tall poppies.

That's exactly right. If you get a little too tall, it's in cult, it's called different things in different cultures. Too big for your britches. And I know that because you come from the neighboring town, we've talked about this before, privately, but I'm from Brookline and our rival is Newton.

That's right. And I used to run track against Newton North. I used to run tracks there. Like Newton North, but sure. Newton North. And I was terrible, so they loved me in Newton North. And I do have a very strong memory of running distance there, running the two mile indoor at this new track

they built. And then five years later, they said, we have to tear that track down because it's made of horrible asbestos. I realized. Thanks to Newton. If I go with a lung related ailment, I want everyone to go after Newton North right now.

My wife actually asked me, what's the difference between North and South? Cause we were going to see my parents and we were on the cell train from New York to Boston. And I said, oh, I don't know. You know, it's like a Boston thing. Like you'll get it when you get there. And she goes, well, what's the difference?

And I kid you not. A guy behind me went, John, John Krasinski? And I go, yeah. And he goes, you're from Newton, right? And I go, yeah. And he goes, North of South. And I went, I'm from the South. And he goes, North.

And then walked off the train. And I literally turned to Emily and I went, well, there's your answer. Bitter, bitter, bitterly angry. Yes. People are, I mean, this is why humanity can never be saved. We will draw a line down the middle of Newton mass called one North, the other South.

And if you're from the wrong one, fuck you. By the way, I think I told you this story. One of my favorite Boston stories, because you know it's that thing of like, don't give too much. And it's not an aggressive thing. It's not a negative thing. Later in life, it becomes a negative thing.

But in the moment, no one's trying to be malicious. But I was at cell station. Do you remember the old, you know, like the ticker? Yeah. It was like tick, tick, tick, tick, tick for all day. Yeah, we tell you when the trains are coming in. And it was the old one that spun. And I was sitting there waiting for a train back to New York.

And there was a guy who clearly had just gotten off a job site of some sort. He was covered in dust or soot or something. And he had the old like dome lunchbox. It was like a perfect image. And he looked over and he was wiping his face. He looked over and he said the same thing. He goes, John?

And I go, yeah. And he goes, John from the office? And I go, yeah. And he goes, funny as fucking thing on television. And I went, wow, thank you so much. He goes, I'm not kidding. I watch it with my family every, every week. It's a family affair.

And I went, wow, it's so nice. And I went to shake his hand. He went, all right, all right. As soon as I went to make physical contact, he was like, I'm out of here. This is nuts. Whoa, whoa. Hey, by the way, I'm straight.

Just so you know. What do you think you're doing? But that is so it's, I'm bringing this up because there is a thing where it's this constant yin-yang of I want to go for it, but who am I to ask for more than I've already been given. Exactly. And so for you to be in the office,

that's enough for anyone in Boston. That's actually topping out on too much. And then you go off and you become this very successful writer-director. And you can feel like, OK, people might be, the office was good, but stay on your lane. You know what I mean? Stay in your place.

And it's a very, like I say, it's a very, I've encountered it many times there, where they're a little, they're excited, but they don't want to see you, but they don't want to show. They're excited. If you look at all, like you were kind of expecting them to recognize you, they'll tear your head off. Oh, I do this bit with Matt Damon called Bitter Boston Guy.

The first time we met, I left him a message and I went, hey, man, how you doing? It's Tommy O'Donnell. Just wanted to say, we went to high school together. You probably don't remember me. Anyway, congratulations on all your success and your children and your wife. And like, it just gets more and more upset

the better your life is. Oh, no, no, no, no, congratulations on Go Wanting. That was a very good movie. And it's just everything's got the little- Little edge. I remember, maybe I've mentioned this before on the podcast, but it bears repeating. I was not long ago in a nice hotel in Boston and in the bar.

And I think I'm having drinks with my two of my brothers or something and I go in to use the restroom. And I want to say a woman about 55, 60, follows me. I go to the urinal and then I hear the door open and she comes in and goes, Conan, Conan, you know? And I was like, yeah, I'm here. And she's, her attitude was, whoa, whoa, whoa. Like, what's the big deal?

I'm just coming to say hi. I guess you're a big star. And I'm like, this has nothing to do with that. You're a woman. I'm at the urinal. They're a certain, but I was the uptight. Yeah, of course. Celebrity, because.

What are you doing? Yeah. And by the way, I was in that urinal. I go to the urinal a lot and I stay there for a long time. And I think she was concerned. And she had every right because it's weird. Well, she heard the tinking. Something was like, tinking.

It wasn't all liquid. No. No, the thing is, there's nothing I love more than being from Boston. What we're talking about is sort of an edge to it, but it's. It's beautiful. The majority of people are. Oh, they're the best. When I go back.

It's incredible. It's incredible. I love it. And I. But I love that there's an edge there. Exactly. And I love that it's, it's complicated with them. And in a way, it feels more honest.

It feels like they're keeping it honest, like you go back and you're not going to get away with, not going to get away with any shit there, which is, I think, to their, to that town's credit. But yeah, I was very, it was interesting because I, when COVID first broke out, posters, billboards were just going up for a quiet place part two. It was when it was just starting, that eerie beginning of the whole thing when, wait a minute, do we wear a mask? Do we not wear a mask?

What is this? This is going to last two weeks. It's going to be three weeks. And one of the billboards has just stayed up for the entire 15, 16 months and the movie didn't come out because you were ready to go. And I can imagine you put your heart and soul into this thing and it's ready to go and suddenly it stops. Yeah.

And it's, I saw this billboard every day and I think it's still there. It's on the way to the theater where we do our show now. Yeah, totally. The Lago Theater. And I would see it every day and I thought, it must have been difficult for you on the creative side to have made this thing and what you want is, I think this is really good and I'm ready for people to see it. And then everything is, yeah, okay, we don't know when this is going to come out.

But it's one of those amazing things where this was, this was bigger than all of us would happen. I mean, so I think that for me, a lot of the emotion got taken out by how black or white a decision this was. There was just the right thing to do. And I think that helped. I think where it really started to hit me was five or six months later when I tried to do something creative and there was something that I was holding inside that hadn't been

let out. And so therefore my creative process was very difficult. It was hard to, it's almost like you realize in this business you try to work really hard on something, it comes out and then you use that energy to write something else and come out with something else. So if I was bouncing on trampolines, one was missing and I couldn't get to that next spot without it. And it is the reason why I fought so hard to be one of the first, I guess we're the

first theatrical only movie this year because whether or not it was just in my head, I wanted to be an emotional bookend for people that this movie represented the end of or the beginning of COVID and the end of sort of normalcy as we knew it. So let's have it be the representation of normalcy coming back. Yeah. What's amazing too because, and I don't think I'm giving anything away here, but the film, the way it begins, it's taking you into a world as it's changing radically. And I thought, yes, right, this is actually a perfect, I don't know, metaphor, a perfect

story about life freezing, life suddenly stopping and then becoming something completely different and everything gets turned upside down. That's the core at the story of what's happening. Obviously, there's also a lot of emotional resonance in the characters, but this is, I couldn't help but notice, and I think a lot of people would notice the similarities in sort of just what we've been through. Yeah, absolutely. My favorite compliments in these screenings that we've been doing around the country is

people felt so much more emotionally charged about seeing people step back into the normalcy. So seeing this girl walk down a train track, taking every single step, knowing the circumstances as she took steps were changing. She was going to be the one to change things, that it had an emotional resonance. And I think that for me, that's what I hope if there are correlations, clearly there are weird correlations that we never intended. But if there are correlations, the correlation I hope everybody takes is that of hope, that idea of courage and bravery and community and how the only way to get through the darkest

times is to do it together. Well, what I want to stress, what he was listening is, it is such, I was so engaged as an audience member. I mean, it is a great story and these themes are all there. Everything you're saying is there, but if you, I was just so thoroughly in the story the whole time. That's awesome. And then you manage to get these two threads of the story going, which run along the same

time as each other, and each one is terrifying. And they're both going at the same time. And I thought that was just, I mean, I thought that was masterfully done. Thank you so much. I mean, not that I'm not a movie critic, I just, as an audience member and as someone who... Well, you are now and I'll take it. I'll take it.

No, actually, you're the best movie critic, thanks so much. I'm the greatest movie critic of all time. But yeah, I'm just absolutely delighted for you. And I think, and I also have to say, I can fathom a lot of things, but I can't, my whole life has been dedicated to create something and then see it realized later that day. Or maybe a couple of weeks later, or maybe a month later, but that's about as far as I can think. You were there with us in that process, in that world, and then you moved on to something

like The Office, which is every week, which still feels like a very different situation than anything I've ever worked on. And the work that you and Greg did there is quite different from my little think of it, and then you see it an hour later. But now you're working on something where you're writing and directing, and the time span... Is about two years. Is two years.

For a movie, by the time you write it, direct it and edit it and then release it, it's about two years. That I can't understand. I can't understand you going to a screening to see what you described going with Emily to, well, I put two years of my life into this. Now let's see if people like it or not, and the verdict will come in in an hour and 40 minutes. Exactly.

I don't understand that. No, it's terrifying. And the funny thing is, a friend of ours said, I'm really sorry that you had to pull the movie and I told him, and that's the right thing to do, and he said, no, but you have to admit, it's such a long process. It's almost like you were having a baby. The doctor pulled it out, said, it's a boy, then jammed it back into you and said, by the way, I'm not quite sure when I can take him back out.

You're like, wait, wait, what? Well that's a horrifying image. Yeah. I want to apologize. That's Quiet Place part three, so it'll be... All right, well listen, A Quiet Place, part two, I, please go, well do yourself a favor. I'm just telling you as someone who loved being entertained when I saw it and really enjoyed it and I'm delighted, I'm delighted for you and you sent me a picture, I mean

on every level. I think it was a Halloween picture you sent me a while ago on my phone and it was you with your kids and you guys were all in costumes and it was just like, oh, you're having that experience. I mean, I forget. I forget sometimes because I'm someone that believes only show business is important. And children, I mean, I don't see the point and I tell them that every day and that's why you fight.

And that's why we fight. They're like, dad, love us. I'm like, I don't see the point and then a fight ensues. But I'm just across the board delighted for you and you deserve it and for me to have been seeing you at the very beginning of this journey and see where you are now and know that if I tried to fight you right now, I think six massive guys who work for the movie studio would take my head off and shit into my skull. Well, listen, and again, I know I said at the beginning, this moment for me is amazing

because being here and talking about all this stuff with you feels like not only talking to a friend, but talking to someone who's not only been there from the beginning, but has been there in a way every single step of the way with me. So I really, really appreciate it. All right. Well, John, be well. Thank you so much. Go out.

Continue to do good work. Thank you. And huge hello to the family. Yes. I will pass that along. I'll tell my agent and he'll talk to us. Oh, oh, wow. We don't talk directly.

God, this is getting worse. It just simplifies things. Yeah, you're right. You're right. Thank you so much, John. Thank you. This is awesome. All right, guys.

A few episodes ago, we inadvertently stumbled upon a new segment. Called sound effects theater where Sona and I set up environments and Conan, you made the sound effects of the things in that environment, but only using spoken word. Yeah, I decided that too much work and trouble goes into, you know, for movies and TV shows and radio shows, especially podcasts, trying to recreate the actual sound of a different door opening or a cat walking. And so I decided, why don't you just have someone say door open, you know, and people will get the idea.

It's genius. Well, you know what? I know you're being sarcastic. Yeah. But I think I might be on to something because we should try to make podcasts in particular as easy for everyone to use and to create that would be more democratic. Let's this is a favor we're doing. Not everyone has to go out and buy special effects or download them on some computer.

Do it my way. And I think we demonstrated with our episode that it really works. It's it's got a huge response. It did. But you're doing sound effects theater as an act of charity. No, as a man who's not afraid to look at something and say, why can't it be different? You all look at what is and go, that is. I say, couldn't it be something different?

That's what makes me a visionary in my opinion. Oh, OK. Well, you said it was what you said we did a good job like it was successful. It blew up awful. Oh, but we would do a terrible job with it. It was it was a big hit. I've had people stop me on the street and ask for more sound effects theater. And I've said, sorry, it's a lot of work and I don't have time for that kind of foolishness.

And then as I walk away, I go walk away, walk away, walk away, walk away kills every time. OK, so the last time we did this was on the Seth Rogen episode if you want to check it out. But I'm just going to throw something out in an environment. So now we'll and I will be in that environment. We'll set you up for sound effects. Are you guys ready? Oh, yeah, I was born to do this. I'm not.

I'm terrible at improv. I think. No, you're not. That should already be really worse than the sound effects. You don't have anything to worry about. Yeah, OK. Laugh all you want. But I think I'm on something.

All right. All right. Let's say this time. OK, we're we're on the battlefield. Oh, all right. Sergeant Movsesian, hand me the Colt 45 pistol. Yeah. Yes.

Colonel. Yes. Can't you see these birds on my helmet? You're right. Sorry. Hand me the Colt. What? Wait a minute.

You can't even. Wait, no, no, no. Come on. This is so stupid. No, no. How about you? The sound effects. If you can't even talk.

I can talk. I just I've never been. He gave you. And also it's not like improv is all about making interesting choice. He gave you a direct order. I know. All you have to do is say yes, sir. That makes it so easy.

But you struggled with his imaginary rank. How are we supposed to make any progress? He literally it's just a yes, sir. Here you go. Not like, OK. Colonel who I met in Indianapolis. But you don't have to do that. OK, I'm sorry.

Let's try it again. I'll do it. I'll simplify. Just keep it simple. OK. Sergeant Mufsesian, unholster your Colt 45. I will do that, Colonel. Oh.

Now, please cock the slide of the weapon and chamber around. Sure thing. Did you just call me a cock? My gun did. I'm sorry. OK, sorry. All right. Now I would like you to discharge your weapon at the target.

Yes, Colonel. Fire. Shit. I think your gun just sneezed. Bless you. Is your gun OK? I don't know, Colonel. It's acting up weird.

So let me, I'm snacking it so that it'll work better. Rattle? Rattle? Rattle? All right. We're going to move on to something bigger. I would like you to set up the M-60 machine gun. Yes, sir.

Trip on. Unfold. Please cock it. Yes, sir. Cock. What did you say to me, Sergeant Mufsesian? I'm so sorry. Look in my eyes, that's two strikes.

You get one more chance at this. OK. Please fire multiple rounds of this machine gun. Oh, yes, sir. Repeat, fire, shoot. Repeat, fire, shoot. Repeat, fire, shoot. Repeat, fire, shoot.

Repeat, fire, shoot. Repeat, fire, shoot. Slow. All right, Sergeant Mufsesian. Oh, no. Incoming fire. Oh, no. Get down.

Artillery. I'm getting down. Impact place. Yes. Slow. Sergeant, Sergeant, I'm hit. Can't you hear the blood geysering out of my veins? I can.

Um, for you, spill. Spill. Oh, I'm not well. I'm not well. I'm really bad. Pump-a-pump-a-spill. Pump-a-pump-a-spill. Pump-a-pump-a-spill.

You said geysering, and it sounds like it's just dribbling out. Yeah, it seems weird, right? Yeah. Let me listen again. Pressure pour. Pressure pour. Pressure pour. That's more like it.

Yeah. Pressure pour. Ding. Oh, my God. Let me get a bandage and wrap that up for you, sir. Rip. Big out. You took my heart out.

Why are you doing that? That's the bandage you idiot. Oh, my God. Did you hear that? I'm a talking bandage. What? What? Wilbur, the talking bandage.

What just happened? A new advanced bandage that can talk. Wow. It has a small chip. We're made by Google. All right. What should I do now, Colonel? Just stitch me up, and then we got to do this quick, because we need to call in an airstrike

on the radio. So could you dial up the home headquarters? Yes, sir. Road to return. Road to return. Road to return. And sir? And sir.

Is there anybody there? Headquarters. Headquarters. This is Delta 9 calling Delta 9 to headquarters. Voice. Voice. Voice. That's them, all right.

Voice. Otherwise, it wouldn't be a voice. Yeah. Voice. Voice. Voice. Period. All right.

We'd like you to send in some napalm at my coordinates. Niner, niner, Delta, niner. I don't have a lot of confidence in the airstrikes. The door is open. Sounding bomb. Oh, no. It's headed right for us. Explode him.

Death of one of you. Can it be me, please? Please let it be me. No, no, no. Please. I'll take it. I'll take one for the team. I'll take one for the team.

No, no. Come on. Rock scissors, Creeper. No, we need you. Okay. Rocks is one, two, three. Oh, shoot. Oh, scissors, scissors.

What does scissors sound like, anyway? Snippa, snippa, snippa-cut. That's right. Snippa-cut. Okay. One, two, three. Oh. I get to die.

God, you're so lucky. I can hear your last breath coming out of your mouth. Exhale. Spirit, go to hell. What the hell? What the fuck? You shoplifting. Come on, man.

And... That's what you did on previous episode of C. Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Gorely. Produced by me, Matt Gorely. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Joanna Solotarov, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson at Earwolf.

Theme song by the White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering by Will Beckton. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brick Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts,

and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 323-451-2821 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

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