Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Johnny Knoxville
Episode Date: March 2, 2026Actor, producer, and television host Johnny Knoxville feels harder than a turnbuckle about being Conan O’Brien’s friend. Johnny sits down with Conan to discuss how he began producing stunt vi...deos as a means to support his family, hare-brained ideas from the upcoming fifth Jackass film, and how hosting Fear Factor instilled in him a strange new kind of empathy. Plus, Conan grills Sona and David Hopping about their least favorite tasks as his assistants. For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com. Got a question for Conan? Call our voicemail: (669) 587-2847. Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/conan. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello, my name is Johnny Knoxville.
And I feel harder than a turnbuckle about being Conan O'Brien's friend.
You know what? I think you just may have had the best one ever.
Would you prefer harder than a folding chair because I can switch?
I like turnbuckle.
It's got a nice, it's really poetic.
And I want that on my gravestone, harder than a turnbuckle.
And soon.
Fall is here, hear the yell, back to school.
Ring the bell, brand new shoes, walking blues, climb the fence, books and pens, I can tell that we are going to be friends.
We are going to be friends.
Hey there, welcome to Conan O'Brien needs a friend, joined by Sonam of Sessian and Matt Goreley, still out on a parental leave.
He has a brand new baby, very excited for him and for his wife Amanda.
He's got two girls now, which is just lovely.
And David Hopping, filling in for him, David.
Good to have you here again.
Thank you.
Happy to be here.
Nice to see you.
David, you love your reality television.
You just love it.
Yeah.
Explain one thing to me because David loves the show Traders.
Yeah.
And so I checked out the new season of Traders because someone I knew was a contestant on the show.
And I thought, I just want to see what this is like.
And I've seen it before, but I don't know what the strategy is on a show like that.
I was watching Traders and I thought, isn't it?
They all act like, oh, I'm going to really practice me.
my wiles and my expertise and I'm going to win the game. And I think it's not like chess.
Yeah. It looks like people are just doing stuff, but I don't really see a strategy and then they
get voted off or not. Yeah. It feels kind of random. Am I wrong about that? They're supposed to
like really be like paying attention to people like to slip up. Like if someone as a traitor,
I'm like really watching to see if she messes up and gives me any clue that she's the person going
and meeting at night to like kill people in the castle. Well, here's why I watch.
watch. I watch because Alan
Cumming saying the word
murder. That
is what keeps me coming back.
And he says it, I mean, he must
know it's working for him because his outfits
are fantastic. They're just wonderful.
And he's
just chewing scenery left and right
in the most delicious way. But he
manages to say,
murder. Maybe
every other sentence. Yeah.
You know? It's so good.
And it's, so that's
fun. And then people
are doing stuff, like they're running around, and you've got to put this
camelope on top of that gravestone. Oh, no, not on that
gravestone. And it doesn't seem to, I try to figure out what it's all
about and I don't know. I don't watch it. What reality shows you
obsessed with, Sona? You know what? I'm not watching reality right now. I'm
watching, I'm in the, I just like, I like horny shows. That's what I do. I'm sorry.
And you knew that about me. He did rivalry. Well, yeah, now I'm watching the new season of
Tell Me Lies. David and I talked about that. I don't know what that.
is. Of course you don't. How is it horny? No, it's, it's horny. There's, there's like sexy people
sexing. Yeah. And so I like it. Is it full nudity? No, you, like, do you see things? No, no, but just like,
it's like softcore kind of. Not soft core. No, not so it's like with, you know, there's stuff.
There's, you could see it, but you can't see it. Yeah. You see the occasional butt, maybe a half boob.
Yeah. Oh my God. You're getting really into like details. Can you draw what you see? Oh my God.
Can you just draw it for me?
You can watch it.
You're an adult man.
If you want to watch it, you can.
Sometimes my priest stops by.
Avert your gaze, Father McNulty.
Oh, my God.
So reality shows.
Yeah.
What's your go-to reality show?
Is it traders or no?
I would say Big Brother than Traders, which I know Blay watches.
And Adam's a massive.
You're a Big Brother.
I've never watched Big Brother.
I love Big Brother.
I like Traders, too.
Yeah. Here's what I love about Big Brother, which is it's in a house. The idea is it's people who are sequester in a house and they don't get to see another person, period. Like none of the producers they see all the camera people are behind one-way mirrors. And it's watching 18 people slowly lose their mind over the course of his season because the house is very big and it's made for 18 people, but people get voted out every week. So when it gets down to like six people in a house full of 418 people and they have.
talked to anyone else for like months, it is insane.
Would you agree with that assessment, Adam?
I would.
I also, there's something really comforting about it.
It's on three nights a week during the summer when like a lot of the big sports are
off season.
Yeah.
And it's, it would be considered boring at times.
It's people sitting around whispering like on couches, um, whispering about strategy.
But there's just something kind of passive and enjoyable.
Yeah.
It's better than talking to your loved ones or reading a really good moving book.
No judgment.
Yeah.
They also have a thing called Big Brubborn.
other after dark and they have all these camera feeds where you could just when they're not on the
show, you could just watch them unfiltered. And I used to put those on and work out when they were
working out in the house. Like I have a friend. Yeah, like I had a friend because I live alone.
Can I just say, first of all, it's just for voyeurs, I think. And in my day, you had to go out and do
your own peeping. And I think that's one of the things we've lost in America is you had to go into someone
else's yard and you had to hang around near the shrubs and then peek in through their windows and hope
that someone was undressing. And that's the kind of stuff that I thought really was the fiber of
this country, the backbone. Yeah. I peeped all through my teens, my 20s, my 30s. I leered,
I ogled. I peered occasionally. And those were things that those taught me valuable life skills.
And now people are just, oh, I don't have to do that.
I don't have to even leave my house.
I left my house wandering at night to try and find houses that were brightly lit
where people were possibly undressing maybe on the first floor.
Or if it's on the second floor, I had to go up a drain pipe.
This is stuff that taught me to be resilient.
You really had to put the work in.
I got my arm and hand strength from climbing up the sides of houses.
And then policemen would show up and it'd say, hey, we've got a peeper.
And then I had to haul ass.
I had to scurry down.
And I had to run.
And that old cherry top would come after where.
Wee, wee, weo, weo.
And they would say, peeper, peeper.
Stand still.
And I had to run.
I had to really run and run and run.
And then I'd get home.
And my mother would say, how'd the peep and go?
My mother said, how'd the peep and go tonight?
Oh, no.
And I'd say, nah.
I got chased by the fuzz.
And she'd say, oh, have a fried ham.
And so, you know, I'd have a fried ham.
I'd chow down and that's just how things were in my mind.
So now we can just put on Paramount Blas.
You ever do any peeping there, Eduardo?
Back in my day.
Yeah.
No.
No.
Never.
Never.
No.
Don't play along with this.
Anyone here want to join me on this peep?
You're the only peeper?
Oh, man, I'm a good peeper.
I'd peep to the right.
I'd peep to the left.
I was really good.
I used to not be able to go to the left, but then I learned how.
Oh, good.
That's good.
Goals.
Yeah.
Anywho.
Happy.
for you. I'm a good peeper. I just love
same peeper now. Today's guest
co-created
and stars in the MTV series
Jackass. This guy would appreciate
my peeping pass. I know it would.
Now you can see him hosting the Fox series
Fear Factor, House of Fear.
And he just announced that a
fifth jackass movie
is on the way. That's good news.
Later this year, we're thrilled he's here.
Johnny Knoxville.
Welcome.
I've always
been an admirer of yours. And you have a special place in my heart because in another lifetime,
you were on an episode of the late night show that we then decided to turn into Claymation.
And so, and it was an episode where I think you were the first guest and you were great.
And so it all happens in Claymation later on. And then I think Richard Lewis comes out and
starts talking about Shaq's penis. Just goes off the rails. It was one.
It was wonderful.
It was wonderful.
When he goes off the rails and at one point I stand, this is in the real show, I stand and I say,
walk with me, Johnny, because he's going on this long, he says he saw Shaq's penis and he's
describing it and I walk with you and I put my arm around your shoulder and you and I walk to the fake
window and look out at the fake window while Richard Lewis is still talking about Shaq's penis.
And then this all happened in Claymation, which made me so happy because I'm like,
walk with me, Johnny, and it's not good claymation.
And David Bowie's there
And I think he was on the couch
I don't know if Richard Lewis starts going off
in front of him
I don't remember it's all a blur
Yeah I because that's the first time
It's the first time
I think maybe the only time I met David Bowie
And it was like this is one of the best nights
Because after we filmed you're like wow
That was good
We wanted to do a Claimation episode
But we wanted a really great episode
That would be visual and funny to see
Acclamation and then that was the episode
We decided oh it's not going to get better than that
And then it was so much fun
but there are so many times,
the weirdest times,
I'll, like, be brushing my teeth and I'll hear,
walk with me, Johnny.
You and I go into the window to look out.
So weird, but you've always been,
you're always an amazing guest,
and a true, true to your uvra, your work,
a real showman, you know?
And so I wanted to start with,
I don't do this with every guest,
but you have such a fascinating career arc.
Do you know what I mean?
Just absolutely fascinating.
Why did you do quotations when you said career coming?
I'm including myself in there, too.
No, I've, no one sets out to have a career the way that you have.
And it's, I just think there's so much that's brilliant about it.
And then you're so effing likable, you know.
And so you ride that all along too.
That is kind of your, I think, your secret solace.
But how does one even begin to become a Johnny Knoxville?
Well, you don't go to college, that's for sure.
And you just get on the 10 West.
Okay, step one.
If you're listening, don't go to college, then get on the 10 West.
And you're fast, faster, and disaster.
That's how you do it.
And you started making these videos.
is on your own, right? This is, we're going back to what, in the late 90s? Yes, what happened was,
honestly, I moved out to Los Angeles to become an actor just two months or maybe a month after
high school. Didn't do a lot, you know, for five, six years. And then my then girlfriend got
pregnant and I'm like, oh, I have to do something quick because that's the most frightened I've ever
been because I had a little girl on the way and I'm waiting tables and I'm like I got to do
something quick. So I was living next to Antoine Fuqua in this duplex and he set me up with this
casting agent who got me a commercial agent and I started writing for magazines and like my
version of participatory journalism like Hunter S. Thompson type of. I was like how about if I
One of my first articles was how about if I test self-defense equipment on myself?
I was just, that was my best guess at how to support a family.
And it was all out of fear of how to support a little girl, honestly.
I think you described that leap as if it's an honest natural progression.
You know, well, a kid's on the way and I better, you know, start to get serious here.
It's time to test self-defense.
myself.
Time to shoot myself in the chest while wearing a bulletproof vest.
That'll provide security.
Yeah.
So you start doing it and then you start making videos.
Well, when the only magazine, like a few magazines around town wanted that article,
but none of them, they wanted to treat it as a negative pickup, come see us after you're done.
And then we'll, the only magazine who would help me, like, buy the stun gun, the taser gun.
I bought the Bulletproof vest with money.
My mom gave me for Christmas that year was the editor of Big Brother magazine, Jeff Tremaine,
who is now the director of Jackass.
And he had a skateboarding magazine owned by Larry Flint.
And right before I was writing, I said, how about if I write the article?
And Jeff goes, why don't you film it at the same time?
And for our skate video, I'm like, okay.
And that's what happened.
And of course, I went to the, he's.
He's like, I'll have Dimitri go with you to film it, who's now the director of photography
of Jackass.
Right.
And I pull up that morning, and I'm like, get in.
And he goes, here's the camera.
This is play.
This is pause.
It's got film in it.
I'm like, you're not shooting it?
He's like, no.
Because there's a gun involved.
He didn't want to be there.
Nobody wanted to be there.
No one wants to be there.
Yeah.
So that's why the camera works so shaky with that.
So you start making these things and then you get a chance.
to make a show for MTV.
And I didn't know this.
At the same moment that you have this deal to make a show
and you're about to make the show,
out of nowhere, you get this offer from Lauren Michaels
at Saturday Night Live.
Yeah.
And I never heard that.
Nothing was happening in my life like two or three months before.
You know, I mean, the wonderful things with the family and the kid,
but professionally nothing.
And then it's like I have a TV show.
We're about to shoot the pilot for MTV.
And then, like you said,
said Lauren Michaels comes calling and we go meet at the polo lounge at the Beverly Hills Hotel
where Fear and Loading did begin.
And it was a lot, you know, because I had no gigs before this.
And he's offered me a spot like five minutes on Saturday Night Live each week.
Not to do characters and things like that.
No, to do what I do.
Like make a video each week.
And it was a, I had to, I really seriously considered it.
But I ended up thinking I would go on there.
I'm not going to have any creative control whatsoever.
And I'm about to do this other thing with me and my friends.
And I'd rather, where I have all the control and I'd rather bet on us than enter into that.
And would probably, I'd been lucky to be on Saturday Night Live, but I chose that.
No, I mean, obviously, you certainly didn't make the wrong move there.
and you got to be the master of your own universe by doing jackass
as opposed to being a small piece of a show where you have very less,
sometimes we're not going to air your piece tonight, it didn't make it,
or we're going to hold on to that, or, so that was the right thing to do.
Well, I didn't think so when the pilot, while we're shooting the pilot,
it got shut down and I'm thought, oh, man, we're canceled.
This is not even making it to the air now.
Why was it shut down?
We were filming a bit in West Hollywood at this hardware store, which I think is a restaurant now, Laurel Hardware.
It's both.
You can get hardware and food.
Oh, great, great.
I'll have the steak char char and the rake.
I'll have the rake as well.
And I walked in, my face was all dirty in a prison orange jumpsuit, and I was handcuffed,
and I was trying to get them to help me solve the handcuffs all.
They cleared out the place.
Everyone's scared and I realized at one point I'm out there on the saw section.
And there's no, not even my cameraman are around.
I'm like, well, shit.
I love that you're doing, you're committing you the bit and there's no camera.
At one point I'm sawing and it goes right on my wrist and it was very close to like.
So then I heard the cops coming.
I'm like, well, I better get outside because that's where the cameras are.
And I run outside.
And right as like three or four carloads of cops are pulling up, and the first lady on the scene, she gets out of her car, tells me, get on the ground, and I abide by what she's saying.
But she didn't put her car in park, and it runs right into a telephone pole in front of me.
And I'm on the ground.
You can hear me go, oh, no.
Because now they're mad.
And TV couldn't shoot in West Hollywood for over 10 years after that
because we didn't have a permit.
We didn't know you permitted to shoot these things.
You didn't have a permit?
We didn't know what a permit was.
That's so fantastic.
You know, you are giving credence to this idea that I've had for a long time,
which is that if a camera's going, I will do things that I won't do
otherwise. And so in a jackass kind of way, I have always, if there's a camera rolling,
I'll say, and there's a potential for people to be laughing. Yes. And for it to be recorded.
I will do things that otherwise I'd say, oh, no, I'd rather not. I eat bugs. I mean, we'll talk about
Fear Factor, but all the stuff you guys do in Fear Factor, I lose common sense if I think there's a potential
that people would see it and laugh.
But you're talking about situations where you're invoking,
the police are coming, people have guns.
And they can very justifiably let you say,
a guy in an orange jumpsuit came running out of the hardware store,
and I discharged my weapon.
And then it's like, oh, that's too bad for that guy making a pilot.
Well, that's what the lady told me afterwards,
the female policeman, she goes,
if you would have just moved a few inches while you were on the ground.
I was going to get away.
I would just put a bullet in your ear.
And I'm like, well, I'm glad I kind of just laid there.
Yeah, yeah.
And I said, is this the weirdest call you ever had?
And they said, no, one time a guy was on PCP at the top of a palm tree,
buck naked, and slid all the way down.
Oh, shit.
Which we tried to convince one of the cast guys to do,
but no one was up for it.
That is either extremely painful or an erotic thrill.
No.
No?
Okay.
But the laughter thing you're talking about,
I don't know how to write to make, like,
wow, what would America think is funny?
That would make me freeze.
But so with Jackass, if I only know how to make
my friends laugh.
And if they're laughing,
yes.
Probably we're good.
But if they're not laughing,
we're probably shooting again.
There's jackass itself then,
and it's not always you doing the stunts,
obviously you get your friends so that you can,
it seems to me like distribute the pain and injury.
Yes.
So that it's,
you know,
and it's a huge sensation.
And then jackass,
the movie, I remembered seeing that and just being,
because I remember thinking, how do they do this now?
Because, you know, the TV show has so many
sort of iconic moments.
How do you do a movie? And I thought you guys
made great decisions when you made that movie.
Oh, thank you.
You know, and I don't know what, because you up the Annie a little bit,
but you also have like production and you know what I mean?
It's not just the show.
It's sort of on steroids and more presentational.
I don't, what was the thinking behind the movie?
the movie. Well, the thinking behind the movie was, uh, we did, they called it three seasons of
jackass, but it was 24 episodes and over a series of nine, 10 months. And we had a unfortunately
a couple of copycat incidences. And it was an election year and Joseph Lieberman came down on
Hollywood. That was his big platform. And me personally in MTV because of that. Yeah. So it became
impossible to do jackass, right? We had all these safety OSHA guys on the set. You can't jump off
anything more than four feet. And I felt like this doesn't feel right. What we do is really silly, right?
But it means something to me. So I'm like, I think this is the end. And so I gave me an interview to
my hometown newspaper and said I quit.
Yeah.
And everyone was kind of surprised because I just went rogue.
Yeah.
So there was a lot of heat back and forth.
MTV was upset because I was under contract, yada, yada, yada, yada.
A lot of back and forth.
Finally, a idea for a movie was floated.
And Jeff and Spike came to me and said, well, how about if we just do a movie instead?
I'm like, like, the idiot I am.
I'm like, who's going to play us?
And they're like, no, no.
You idiot.
Yeah.
Yes.
Is it a love story?
A naughty version of the TV show.
I'm like, okay, got it.
You know.
So that I was a little confused, as I often am.
But I felt like there was a time when South Park made a movie and I thought, well, this, traditionally
when TV shows make a movie
for many years it was the rule that it's a bad
idea. You know what I mean?
Justin and Kelly.
Okay.
Almost always a bad idea.
That's the first one that popped
into your head.
Justin Garini was just here.
I'm not the butcher's guy to come along the log.
Well, anyway,
great poll, by the way.
But you know, I remember like South Park made a movie and it turned out like, oh, yes, excellent.
And then you guys made a movie and it felt like this time when people were making the right call and it was actually translating.
I'm curious, you know, I think about there was whatever 30 years or 28 years there where I was doing a show and always saying yes to things because I thought it would be funny.
and I got tossed by a water buffalo once
and fell onto up into the air
and fell onto hard concrete.
I jumped on a water buffalo
when that was not what I was supposed to do.
And all my common sense went away
and I think about that all the time.
Now I'm thinking about your life
where you have a montage playing in your head
of things you did
where probably halfway through
you thought this is a terrible idea
but I'm going to do it anyway.
Well, it's like this is a terrible
idea. I'm so glad I'm doing it. We're about to get footage. And by the way, I've always wanted to
get hit by a water buffalo, so I'm envious. I'm sitting there like, oh, I'm glad that you look up to me
that way. So are there things that stand out to you now that you are this silver-haired,
wise, you know, patrician? Are there things that stand out to you?
and there we go like, oh my God, that was a terrible idea.
I don't know.
Do you have any regrets at all?
Like, I wish I hadn't done that one.
Well, yeah, I mean, we're been going back looking through some old bits.
And you're like, oh, that, that, but not like anything for my physical safety just because, you know, they all can't be hits.
So then, then I'm like, oh, man, we just, even watching the first movie.
movie, it's almost first jackass movie. It's so tame into what it became. And which, but I don't regret any
that. It's just what it was. And like I'm watching myself do pranks and I just, I watch it and just go,
why did I do that course of action? Why couldn't I have pivoted into the, I just like to beat
myself up. Yeah, we all do that. We all look at past work we've done and have.
regrets, but for you it might be, why did I light myself on fire?
I mean, the two, I did it out of the tube, Conan.
I can't do anything about it now.
So I'm all right with everything.
That's good.
Are you in pain?
Do you walk around in constant pain?
Sometimes, but I'm not, it's not even a joke.
I'm not really in touch with my body.
So I can just kind of deal with whatever.
Yeah.
It's funny you say that because my least favorite question is if I go to a doctor or something and they say,
now, how does it feel?
And I go, I don't know.
I just want to get to the grave.
Yeah.
You know, like, I hate when they're telling me, you know, or whatever, you get a massage and they're like, now how does this feel?
I'm like, I don't know.
Let me alone.
I'm trying to get through life.
You know what I mean?
I have that kind of.
feeling. And so when you said that, I was electrified. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, I don't know, I did this to
myself. So what, what am I going to do? Yeah. I'm not going to complain to anyone. Yeah. That's what it is.
Yeah, that's true. I hadn't thought of that. Most people that walk around like, oh, man, my hip. What happened?
Oh, you know, just all those years of working at the plant. And for you, it's, well, I strap myself to a
rocket and had it fired into a concrete wall.
you know, like Wiley Coyote.
Yeah.
And it's hard to be like, oh, man, that's tough.
Yeah, what happened?
I know exactly what happened.
We have six cameras.
I can prove it.
Wow.
Yeah, it's, I mean, it's incredible.
It's so interesting to me, too, that you've referenced Hunter S. Thompson a couple of times.
Someone that had the honor of getting to interview, I think, twice.
And, and you're interesting.
early on in writing.
Do you know what I mean?
These are,
those are things that I feel very connected to.
And Hunterst Thompson was someone who put his entire himself and his body and his sanity.
He poured it all into his work.
Yeah.
And it's fascinating to me that in a way you are in that vein.
Do you know what I mean?
You're saying, okay, here's my body.
And I'm going to put all of it into what I do.
And it's going to go through this, this grind.
but that's that is my work yeah this that was my best guess you know honestly um and i love
hunter you know i like two books kind of change my life early on like on the road by jack
care what we're in a bar with my cousin and he hands me the book and i just i didn't know people
lived like that yeah and it was you know i'm small town in tennessee everyone lives there
stays there. And then I read Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas when I was 19. And I felt like I didn't know
anyone could write like this and be so free. And after that, I was useless. You know, it's like my path
was set, I guess. That's so funny. Those are time in your life. I think I had just moved out to
LA 22 and I'm just only reading, you know, fear and loathing books. Yeah. And, and I'm
And it just spoke to me.
Not that my life matched that in any way, but it takes you over in a way that, you know,
at my age now, I don't know that it would.
I'd like it, but it wouldn't inhabit me the same way.
And like in actuality, if you're living like that or your friends living like that, it's so
fucking exhausting to be around.
You know, I've had some friends who just, I mean, Steve, he was off the rails.
just doing the worst drugs.
You can get your hands on PCP.
Jesus.
Those nitrous canisters.
It would be a sea of nitrous canisters at his feet.
And it was exhausting.
I mean, he'll tell you it was exhausting.
But, I mean, now he's, like, he's doing great.
He's been sober for well over.
We put him away in 2008, so 17 years or something.
That's incredible.
Good for him.
Yeah.
So, I mean, people.
ask me, well, would you say something about it?
Bravery? I'm like, that's, that's bravery.
Like, he has to face that dragon every morning.
Yeah, and he does, and he's doing great, and I'm really proud of him.
It is the most impressive thing.
Yeah.
I see people do is, you know, and it's just amazing that you can give yourself another chapter
like that where it's like, Steveo, can I get you anything?
Maybe, do you have hibiscus tea?
It takes you four seconds to stand in front of a bull, but he has.
to do something like this every yes to face balls all day long yeah yeah do you ever get when you're
with all those guys and you guys together are together do you ever have the thing of guys keep it down
you know you know it's it you know what i mean we're not that anymore keep it down i don't want to
make too much noise tonight or i got to get to bed it's 915 i don't even i wouldn't even know
how to go about trying to quiet them down.
You know, it's just, you can try.
Tranquilizer. Yeah. I think everyone becomes worse in those situations.
If someone tries to, I don't think I would do that. Well, here we go.
When the cameras are off, especially early on, it was way worse than when the cameras are on.
Is that true? Oh, it was, yeah, very, they're very excitable.
It's like you're talking about gremlins
Don't get them wet, you know.
Don't get them wet with whiskey
because they're very excitable.
It's funny you brought out safety coordinators
or people that are there to make sure
that everyone's behaving properly.
Yeah, the times that I've been on a set
where I had to do the most tame thing,
literally the most tame thing,
like go through the ceiling
of the show the office and land on a desk that's just like three feet below me on Dwight Shrut's
desk and just it's just like a little drop down at the time I'm doing it I'm 40 and I'm just
throwing myself around all the time because I'm a big kid and someone's there like let's talk
this is let's walk through this now we're going to hold your body in six different places
and slowly yeah
You gotta buy me dinner first.
And then they're gonna slowly,
and then we've made the desk out of a special foam.
And I'm like, guys, I grew up in a big family.
All we did was toss each other off of staircases.
And that is my way of, you know, most times I have a comedy idea.
The first thing I want to do is pretend to punch somebody
and then I'm thrown through a glass window.
I like that kind of stuff.
And I think I am not body aware in the way that I'm going to do something still at some point
because I just think I'm having fun and being funny and I'm goofing around and I'm going to forget that I'm 85 years old.
Are you guys picking, are you auditioning for the new jackass movie?
I have to say, I am.
My name's Colin O'Brien.
You know what?
I would.
Yeah.
I would do it.
But it's just him falling out of bed.
No, I think I would do it.
Yeah.
Yes.
A big stunt for me is.
behaving myself in a crowded theater.
No, I swear to God, there is a wishful fulfillment with me.
That's why I get so excited.
And I used to, I'm obviously a big fan of yours and the stuff that you guys were doing.
And there was, there's always been part of me.
It's funny, to me, it's the yin and the yang.
I am very cerebral and cautious and all of those things.
And then there's the flip side of it where I kind of like it where I'm not in control.
It's a relief from the other guy.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm cautious with my kids, right?
Yeah.
But with me, I was never, I was like a hell.
I'm a total helicopter parent when they were little.
Like, I'm the guy underneath the monkey bars trying to like make sure they don't fall.
Just you lecturing at 19 year old.
Now listen, I want you to have your head strapped on right tonight.
And you have like a, you have a.
You have an and iron sticking through your skull.
A bicycle?
Are you kidding me?
A bicycle? No way.
You're going to wear seven helmets.
I love all of that.
That's fantastic.
I know. I do too.
Well, you know, I want to tell you we had, um, uh, they let me watch the new, uh,
fear factor.
They gave us a link to it.
And I was really enjoying it.
And I have to say, um, getting you as the host was a, was a stroke of genius on
somebody's part.
Yes, I'm very happy.
I had a lot of fun.
But, I mean, it's not too much of a pivot from what jackass was, except if I can't go at these people like I do mine.
You're dealing with civilians here.
Yes.
And these people have pride.
A sense of self-esteem.
They want to live in society.
They can use tools to make other tools.
They hunt and gather.
Walk on their hind legs.
They wish to procreate, yeah.
So they, no, it's fun because I also love that you get to be around it.
And it's really fun that they're doing all of this stuff.
And you're there wearing one of these fantastic, like, polo sweaters.
Oh, thank you.
My wife was my costume, or Emily.
So thank you.
But you're always there like, ah.
Enjoy.
And you become the Ricardo Montalban on Fantasy Island.
It's like, you don't have to break a sweat.
And you're like, all of you, get into the giant meat grinder.
And you're there.
You know what I mean?
You've earned it.
And it feels like you've really earned the right to be that guy.
Yeah, it's fun.
Like, you know, when people display fear in an entertaining manner, I'm here for it.
And I thought I was going, I first got the gig, I'm like, oh man, I'm really going to make their life hell.
Yeah.
And I got excited and that's never good.
But then as I got closer, I'm like, well, these kind, these are, they're different, you know, and there's money at stake and they're trying.
These people actually do have phobias.
Yep.
So I was like, maybe I just felt more natural to kind of help them through it.
But I still gave them hell.
But mostly I like, I enjoyed both things.
It sounds to me like you've started to develop empathy.
I did.
I even teared up a couple of times in the show.
It's like, because you see these reality shows and people who cry.
I'm like, everyone's fine.
What are you crying about?
You just met this person.
I can't feel my legs and you're crying.
Four days ago.
But then a few people left the show.
I'm like, I don't know.
I spent too much time around.
my mother. That's very nice. Well, I'm curious if do you ever get asked to like come back and speak
at your high school or something and it's, do you know what I mean? Because it's a strange thing to get
because you've been extremely successful and iconic and now we'd like you to speak to these young people.
Like an anti-validicatoria. Yeah, exactly. Do as I did. Here's what I find worse.
Cautionary tales. Screw college. Yeah. Don't go to college. Fire a name.
nail gun into your anus.
Hey, that's not half bad.
Yeah, that's good.
Oh, I could be a writer.
If you guys won't let me be in the new Jackass movie, I will be a writer.
Has anyone ever fired hot lava into their urethra?
Lava from Mount Etna.
Oh, my God.
You guys are like, Conan, no, it wouldn't work.
It would evaporate the tissue around it.
Okay, I'll keep working.
Oh, yeah. I come in with really giant classes. I'll keep working. Conan, I'm just spitballing here, but...
No, I have never been invited to speak before high school, college, or... Yeah. You know, and I don't blame them.
No, no, no. Well, I think you'd be a great... They should. They should. They're missing out on a great speech.
So I also was telling you, I'm obsessed with the new Fear Factor House, because there's... reality shows always take place in a
house. It's always a similar looking house. I don't care. This house is a house that's absolutely
stunning and it looks like the richest man in the world lives there and he's got taste. It's like
beautiful. This house is where is it? It's in West Vancouver. It is a beautiful place. They have all
these shots of it and I just keep thinking about I want to be on the show as a contestant because I
really want to try this lava thing. You can do that on your own. I know. And I and I and
trust me, I have.
Okay.
It's getting the lava hot enough.
It's a problem.
But I also, I just, I love that house.
Well, they do Celebrity Jeopardy.
What about some celebrity fear factor at some point, you know?
Yeah, I love that.
Yeah.
Dame Judy Dench getting shot out of a cannon.
And, you know, I was trying to convince the show Traders.
I'm like, we should have a jackass traitors.
Because all the things.
that you need to possess to be good in that show, none of us have.
And we'll be physically attacking each other.
We can be pranking.
I love that.
You go into a show where there's strategy and psychology, but you just start firing nail guns.
No one's going to want to walk down to breakfast and open the door.
Yeah.
You know, you know, no one's going to want to touch the door handle.
It's
The genius behind, I mean, Alan Cumming
Watching Alan Cumming say murder
Is the whole, I watch that show just for,
his costumes are fantastic.
Oh, yes.
And then, but no, you, Fear Factor coming into other shows.
And I think, you know, like password, you know, just.
Just like it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, Jeopardy.
Yeah.
You know, just shows where it's very intelligent shows
where people have to kind of use their streets, their knowledge, but you guys are just smashing everything.
You could really amp it up for the celebrity fear factor too, because these people know what they're getting into and they're in the business.
So just hand me a pen and a piece of paper.
And yeah, that would be fun, just writing bits.
Okay.
I will, I'll produce this with you.
Yes, yes.
Yeah.
I'll take very little money.
And by very little, I mean 80%.
Yes.
that'll be my biggest stunt
he's doing a fear factor show with you
and getting most of the money
that'll be a pain and like anything
you've ever felt before
well that may come at a price
no I don't target
I can only target my
the jackass guys it's
yeah yeah
there's a trust
obviously there's such a trust
and there's real friendship there
I've had
in a couple of times
times that I targeted a friend that was not part of it, a civilian, and it just hurt his feelings.
And I'm like, oh, I'm never going to do that again.
Isn't that the worst?
Yeah, that was.
It is interesting, you bring that up because they always say it's always, you know, it's funny
until someone gets hurt.
And I always think, it's actually when someone's feelings get hurt.
Yeah.
I, this, the bottom falls out for me.
Unless the person is pure evil and deserves to have a hurt feeling.
But other than that, the times I've done, any time I've done something and it got back to me,
oh, no, someone heard that joke.
And they were sad.
I'm like, oh, man, that's the worst.
It sucks the air out of the room.
And then you feel, I just like, I'm a monster.
And I was doing things not even like one tenth of what I do to the guys.
But still, I was like, okay, I'm not going to target anyone else.
just I can, you know, save it for my fellas in now Rachel Wolfson.
Yeah. When is the next movie coming out?
June 26th.
Okay. And are you doing any stunts in the new one or do they cut to a dummy?
Well, I mean, they always cut to a dummy.
I can do stunts. I just can't do anything where I get another concussion because I've,
how many of you had? 16. So do you know who I am right now?
Yes, Andy.
I don't care about a broken arm or ankle,
but I just can't have any more concussions.
Yeah, I think that's a wise course of action.
And I feel like I did my thing.
I don't feel like I'm missing anything, so that's good.
I mean, if I saw you in the shower, I wouldn't be horrified.
Well, I think you probably would be.
My God!
I didn't know it could be so small.
There's just like a big piece of torso missing,
and you don't even notice it any.
You keep like little knickknacks in there.
You keep humble figurines and a little alarm clock in there.
Pull my arm off to get my back.
Hey, Conan, hey, thanks a lot.
Hey, this thing's great.
I love it.
So what is your now?
commitment to the Fear Factor show. You just,
you're waiting to see? Yeah, I guess
it comes out tomorrow.
Tomorrow? 14th. Yeah, the daughter is going to
love the show. Thank you. And yeah, I'm
hoping it, I had so much fun.
I'm hoping they pick it up, so
it seemed to do good on the sneak preview
on Sunday. The only thing
that there's a lot of stuff that
doesn't, that I don't worry about,
but insects
creep me out, you know? And I don't
think I have a phobia about it, but I just
always, a hairy spider,
to me is like the worst thing in the world,
like a tarantula.
An arachnid that has hair creeps me out.
And the idea of, but then again,
if I was on camera and there was a studio audience there
and people were laughing and I knew they'd really laugh.
If I went for it, I'd pick one up and start licking it.
As it stung my tongue and filled me with a heart paralyzing venom.
And I'd look to camera and go,
He likes his gum gum juice.
And then I would die.
You know?
The thing about those hairy spiders is the hair gets in your eyes and it feels like asbestos.
What?
You're talking from experience.
No, you just can't get it.
It just itches.
It can't get it off of you.
That's funny.
I can bring up anything to you.
And you're like, here's the thing about a rhino horn in your ass.
It's funny.
You don't know.
The horn is kind of waxy, and then you can't get the wax out of your ass.
Like anything I bring up, you're going to go, you know, it's funny.
Bull's horns are very dirty, and that's when people get gourd before penicillin.
That was kind of it for them.
But now they have penicillin, you can get gourd pretty much all you want.
Do you ever...
What?
There's one Mattador.
I can't remember his name.
He's been gored like 63 times.
It's crazy.
When he gets a drink at a bar, all this...
Oh, this bit in the world, but I love it.
I'm fine.
Look, look, look.
He's my favorite matador, hands down.
But, you know, it's funny.
I think of a germophobic matador is a really funny idea.
He's like, he doesn't mind getting gourd,
but he keeps trying to use a wet wipe on the horn.
His cape is a bit.
big wet wipe.
Yeah.
It's like, it's kind of less cool.
Diego, I don't care.
You got to wipe the bulls, horns, and hooks before he gets in the ring with them.
Well, this has been a blast.
It's been really fun.
Thank you.
And I really enjoy you on the new Fear Factor.
And I just love talking to you.
Thank you.
You are just an infinitely charming fellow.
And congrats on the new movie coming.
out and that you're thriving.
It's just really, and that you're well.
You're happy.
You're here.
You're able to move about.
Oh, yes.
Yeah, after I finished the last jackass, I was just, I was so happy.
I'm like, I'm still walking.
I'm good.
Yeah.
So, but thank you.
You've always been so kind to me.
Oh, my God.
You're kidding.
I'm a big fan and thanks so much for doing it.
I really appreciate it.
Oh, one less, you were talking about all these safety guys.
When you're shooting something, you got.
to get really shady safety guys.
Our safety guys are the shady.
It's just a little tip before I go.
So there's no union.
Oh, no.
But like our alligator expert, Manny, who dives in swamps at night with the miners light
and pulls alligators up from the bottom.
Jesus.
He's a wonderful man.
He is Tarzan.
But he's our safety guy when we work with alligators.
And so, you know, you filmed those safety meetings before.
and they're like, okay, Mani, tell us what's the plan here?
He goes, well, Steve-O will be in there with an alligator,
and if the alligator bites him, hopefully he will let go.
You're like, all right, let's shoot.
So that's good.
You need a very shady safety guy who probably wasn't a safety guy a month ago.
You need a pretty good safety guy.
Okay, I am sitting here with Sonam of Sessian.
Yeah.
And normally now I'd say Matt Goreley, but he is out on maternity leave.
Paternity.
He's a man.
I don't, I'm going to stick with what I said.
Oh, you're going to, you're going to double down on it?
Yeah, he's on maternity leave.
Okay.
He got his knickers in a twist.
He's out.
He had a beautiful baby girl.
Yes.
Nell and very happy for him.
Filling in for him is David Hopping.
Now, this is a rare occasion where both of my assistants are sitting here with me.
You've got Sona assistant since 2009.
Yeah.
And David Hopping, when did you really take over as my full-time assistant?
With 2021?
2021.
Yeah, when the boys were boys.
Yeah.
That's right.
Okay.
So you've both assisted me.
And I thought this is a great time to ask you guys some pretty blunt questions.
And you have to be honest.
No, seriously, you have to be honest.
Okay.
Okay.
You mean we don't have to try to protect your feelings?
No, just go for it.
Because we try that all the time.
No, no, no.
I think this was a good chance to know more about me.
I am not in the least bit defensive.
I'm an open book.
That's going to be fun.
Yeah, okay.
It's like a 30-minute segment.
I'm curious.
Stona, what was your least favorite thing to do for me?
Whoa.
The least favorite thing to do.
Yeah, the thing that when I asked you to do it, you really hated it.
Apologize?
Is that one?
Can I say,
apologize?
When I messed up and you were just like, can you just feel bad about not doing something?
Because you wouldn't do it.
I know.
That's your thing.
But no, I think.
No, wait.
Well, say you screwed something up, which didn't happen a lot.
I mean, we made jokes, but I got things done.
Yeah, you got things done.
Yeah.
But when things would go terribly wrong, and I would say, oh, come on, Sona, you'd say, yep,
that happened.
And you would just plow ahead.
All right.
And so I would sometimes, I'm just being honest, I would try to get you to apologize or
say you feel badly about it and you wouldn't.
I know. Okay. Okay. Here's, you know what?
So that's a good answer.
Okay. So, but also, I'm trying to think of things I did regularly that I was just like,
every time you would ask me to do it, I'd be like, oh, God. Yeah.
And you know what? Honestly, I can't think of anything where I might need some time with it.
You liked shaving my back? Oh, God.
You enjoyed that? Oh, God. Because I didn't think you would.
Don't put that out there. I don't want people to think that was going to happen, whatever happened.
You had the longest shaver in the world.
She was on the end of a pole.
Like back?
Oh, yeah.
She would be maybe 35 yards away from me.
Like those gripper things?
I was horribly cut up whenever you would do that because you were often on your phone while you were doing it.
I know.
I think that you're not a very high maintenance person.
I don't think so.
I don't think you're high maintenance.
But now we switch it over to David, what do you not like to do for me or it's kind of a drag?
Be honest.
I mean, let's see.
where do I start?
I think you know what?
Sorry, I just remembered.
I don't know if you have this too.
There's times when there's something you ask us to do that we,
I think we know you can just do on your own.
Yeah.
And then I lived in Pasadena and you'd be like,
can you just come to my house at 9 in the morning to help me with this thing?
And I'd be like, you know how to do that.
Yeah.
But I have to be in traffic for like an hour and a half.
It was usually how do I read my email?
Uh-huh.
Or how do I get into NetFle?
You can never get into Netflix.
Now, in my defense,
in my defense, it's very hard to get onto Netflix.
I mean, next to impossible.
You have to be a brain surgeon.
Although I do want to say, I think I got hired because of things Sona didn't want to do,
like running the errands and things is why I even got a job.
That's true.
That's true.
Yeah, that's actually true.
My various creams and bombs, ointments and salves.
And bombs.
And bombs.
Savs.
Yeah.
Emolients.
Yeah.
Gels.
Yeah.
So I'm grateful for that.
I know.
And it was job security.
Like, you know.
When do I get one?
I know.
An assistant.
That's right.
Oh my God.
When you have an assistant, that is the end.
I'm going to start a nationwide search.
That is the end of days.
I think, yes, the tech stuff.
I'm constantly, I don't belong.
I should not be living in this century.
I'm, it's like I'm, I'm, I'm an 18th or 19th century man.
I think I would have been uncomfortable.
in the 19th century, because they'd be like,
hey, can you pull that crank and make that
steam-powered thing work? I cannot do it, sir.
We'd have to drive to you.
Tis witchcraft. Talk to my assistant
into Pasadena.
Pasadena?
No one lives there.
That's not inhabited yet.
Look, in my defense,
I abhor technology.
And so, yes, I think that's probably the worst
is when I call you up and say,
I don't know how to take a picture with my phone
and then send it to someone.
It's not that bad.
Which you've done a million,
but sometimes you're in your head so much
about something you have to do
that you do forget very basic things.
This is something that Sona was really on top of,
she would always say,
I'd color up.
And I don't think, to be fair,
I don't think I would make you drive
from Pasadena to my house.
You didn't do it often.
No.
But there were times when, you know,
I would have to,
be there. I didn't know when I was making a sandwich
if the bread goes on top.
You forgot how a sandwich works? Yeah, and I needed
you to be here to show me. So I was like,
get here, fast.
Well, yeah, and also I liked going to your house.
It's fun there. It's pretty nice.
Yeah, it is. All those portraits of me.
The statues in the yard.
Yeah, I love seeing that stuff.
Yeah, me on horseback, naked.
Oh, God.
Poor Liza.
I shave the back of my statue.
So, you know, it's so crazy is that I would call you, Sona, and I would say, I can't do this.
He would say, yes, you can.
You have a phobia about it.
Yeah.
But it's very intuitive.
And you would coach me and I would realize that I'm very techphobic.
And I will think, I can't do this.
This isn't something I could ever figure out in a million years.
And because of you, I do try a lot now.
before I call anybody, I try to see if I could figure it out.
And then when blue foam starts coming out of my device, I know it's time to get David on the home.
I'm really proud of you.
He learned how to put things in his calendar on his own.
Oh, hey, you're doing it.
Yeah.
Oh, good job, bud.
It's like we're talking about a one-legged turtle.
That one-legged turtle, he learned how to make a poopie.
Good for you, Mr. Gibble.
I'll take it.
All right. This is a serious question.
Would you, if my life was in danger, would you put yourself between me and the danger?
Sona.
You know what?
Like would I sacrifice myself for you?
Yeah.
Would you sacrifice your life for mine?
I probably would have before I had kids.
Now I won't.
Now, but I honestly, there were.
You're fired.
No, but I mean, I was going to say that's crazy.
Well, no, but also.
What do you mean before I had kids?
kids. I know. I'm not, I'm not like secret service. I'm going to jump in front of a bullet for you.
Yeah. Yeah. But I think that I would have, I think that the, and I don't know if you feel this too,
the need to protect you. Yeah. And make sure you are good. Yeah. Is more so within the two of us.
Yeah. Yeah. And I give you a lot of credit for that. Yeah. Because all joking aside, there were times
when I was on tour in 2010. I remember I think I was in Eugene Orrin.
Oregon and we did a show. And afterwards I said, hey, everybody meet me at this, like, there was a sculpture or something of a big red wagon. Yeah. I said, everybody meet me there. And I really went there because I wanted to be kind of like an Andy Kaufman happening. And there was a huge crowd there. And you were with me. And then it was just so many people. And I'm taking. Sucked into this crowd. Sucked into this massive crowd. And then I saw you later back at the hotel and you were freaked out. And you were mad at me. You were like, I didn't know how to protect you. And I said, you don't, that's not your job.
in those situations.
Yeah.
I know,
but I'm, that's my job in those situations.
That's true.
But you're very, yeah, you've always, look, all joking aside, I love you and you've
always been, you're, you take really good care of me.
Yeah.
David, not so much.
Ah, there it is.
Here we go.
Hey, we were in New York and you cut your head open.
Excuse me.
Are you, uh, filing, what are you doing back?
Oh, I'm sorry.
If I could, what the fuck are you doing?
What the fuck are you doing?
I'm getting all the, I'm getting all the ads ready for after this.
right now?
Yes.
I'm sorry.
I keep trying to remove paper from people.
I'm sorry.
Gourley was doing it the other day and now you are, I think you're putting your thesis together. I didn't realize you were at Princeton. I should have done this outside the studio. Would you drop it on the floor right now? Drop it. God damn. Sorry about that. I'm looking. I'm trying to talk to you guys and he's over here. He's not going to jump in front of a bullet for you. I guess what? I wish you would. Because I'm hiring that guy now.
He's the one who's going to shoot you.
Yeah.
I want you to shoot me and jump in front of that bullet.
And all your papers will go flying.
I'm on it.
I'm on it.
Okay, here we go.
Oh, my God.
David was saying when.
David,
I was going to say we were in New York like one or two trips ago and you, I get a text
from Liza that you cut your head open.
And I ran to a CVS and got you all the medicine, all the band-aids.
You did.
And you did.
So that's, I don't know where I'm going with that.
Yeah, I walked into like a low-hanging lamp.
because I'm a freak.
Yeah.
It's not meant for people of your height.
No.
They like hung a lamp and they thought, don't worry,
99.9% of the people won't hit this lamp
with the rusty corner.
Yeah.
Yeah, I slammed into it and there was blood shooting everywhere.
It was like bruised.
Yeah, yeah.
But you did go get a bunch of poultuses.
I got everything CVS had.
Various treatments, herbs, remedies.
It was, but would you, let's say, the moment comes down to it,
And it's my life for yours.
Would you make the ultimate sacrifice?
This is a crazy question.
You know what?
Huh.
This should have been in the interview.
Would you?
I think that we really won't know until it happens.
Okay.
Yeah.
It'll be a game time decision.
Yeah.
You just gave me your answer.
What cafe are both of you working at?
You know what?
I think one of, we do need to stay behind to let Liza know you died.
Yeah.
This is so dark, but you're right.
Yes, I mean, you know, how's she going to know.
And you know what?
You'll both be chomping on sandwiches when you call it.
Anyway, yeah, you didn't make it.
But it's really bad.
No, no, no, no.
I want hummus on the side.
Okay.
Hummus, hummus.
I said it correctly.
I, but why, why is it always hummus?
You eat a lot of hummus.
I do like, I do like it.
I mean, sometimes you don't even have hummus, but you have it in your pockets.
Yeah.
You have hummus on you at all times.
I wish. I really wish. I wish it was like a bowl and I was just dipping pita chips in it all the time.
Listen, you guys are both fantastic. I will say that. I'll deny it. I'm glad this isn't being recorded.
You're both fantastic. Oh, why are we recording these? And let's get back to Blaze shuffling papers noisily off camera so that my ads are in the right order when I read them 20 minutes after we end this recording. Incredible. Thanks. Both of
you. Godspeed.
Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian and Matt Goorley.
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