Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Julie Bowen

Episode Date: March 7, 2022

Actress Julie Bowen feels cautiously optimistic about being Conan O’Brien’s friend. Julie sits down with Conan to talk about tuning in to the show while cycling, the human reproductive system, finding the right sleep aids, and her new podcast Quitters. Later, Conan looks back on his appearance in the latest iteration of SNL's Five-Timers Club. Got a question for Conan? Call our voicemail: [phone]. For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com.

Hi, my name is Julie Bowen, and I feel, wow, I mean, I've thought about this a lot. I'm a huge fan, and there are no words that haven't been used here, so I'm just going to go with cautiously optimistic. Wow. The President Obama? That's exactly what President Obama said. I am such a fan, and I know exactly when people become your friend and when they don't. There's all these clues, there's a lot of clues, there's a lot of stuff, there's coded

language. Right, wow. There's a lot of secret stuff. Have you DaVinci coded this podcast? I have. I do have some friends, but you can always use a few more. Who are these friends? The ones that I really have?

Let's not get into that. Don't dig too deep. I don't know. People who have friends don't go like, oh, I have a lot of friends. I do. I do have friends. I have them. Is that giveaway the fact that I really don't have real friends, the fact that I'm constantly

... It only does that. I have friends. You don't think I have friends? I have lots of friends. Sir. You got very defensive. Sir, just pay for the unleaded gas and go, but I do have friends.

Of course I... Just put the nozzle back and... And I don't use unleaded. I use premium. Well, you didn't order that. And I have friends. Ask them. Okay, sir.

Who are your friends? I got to go. That's also the voice I use when I'm not broadcasting, when I'm not on television or I'm not doing a podcast or some kind of personal appearance. This is how I really talk, which is always a huge shock. People on the street are always saying, hey, are you Conor Bryant? That's right. Bingo.

You got it right on the nose. Oh. Oh. And I go, oh, sorry. Hold on a second. Would this be better for you? Yeah. What was that other voice?

Oh, that's how I really talk. Well, got to go. And then I get on a unicycle and I have a little horn that goes, bye-bye, ta-ta. And I drive away, little window into my life. Some people say... Pretty big window. Comedians don't really open up, but I just did. I just made myself very vulnerable with that story.

I told you about the real me. Well, I really brought them the tone down. I'm sure there are people that were listening to the podcast that when I was doing that bit, where I use that voice, turned down their, whether it's their phone or whatever they're listening to this on, their computer. You couldn't think of anything. I know, you wanted to say radio so bad. Or the television.

I feel like he really wanted to say television. I did want to say television, and I did want to say radio. I did, but now you've busted me again, because that's also true. I don't have friends, and I really do wish that everybody listened to this on a mahogany curved top radio. Just before I came on, the announcer said, well, that does it for little orphan Annie today. And remember, use Crisco, and you're doing your deep frying.

We'll have a fireside chat with President Franklin Roosevelt in about half an hour. But until then, Conan O'Brien is coming to us from his broadcast booth in Los Angeles, Conan. And that people were huddled around, and they were wearing farmers bib overalls, because they had been working in the fields all day, trying to avoid the dust from the dust bowl, and just huddled around listening to Conan's soothing tones. But no, that's not the world I live in. I live in a world of various downloads.

You couldn't even get that out. Dynamic ad insertions. I don't even know when... They'll say that Conan, it's a dynamic ad insertion. And I'll say, what? What do you mean? It's an ad that comes on when the podcast airs. The podcast doesn't air.

The podcast exists in the cloud. It's meta, it's everywhere all the time, and you access it. What? No, what? It's not meta. Do you know what the... How do I explain what the podcast is to my parents? They don't know.

They don't listen to it. My brother Neil won't listen to it because it doesn't happen on television or the radio. And I'll say... It's hosted on a server and downloaded by a user. How's that? Well, it just sounds like porn. What kind of porn are you watching? Do you download your porn?

No, I download it. You can stream it. It's so much better to stream it than download it. I want to make sure that I can save it for later. So I download it and then I have it burned onto cellophane so that I can... Excuse me. So I can... What?

Not celluloid? Well, you know, let me cover it quickly for myself. I use cellophane because celluloid has been proven to be the worst way to show film. You know what? I don't know the word for anything. I don't know the word for anything anymore. Hold on. I promised you did something recently that I would not let you live down and I have to

bring it up because this will already be out by then. But we were on a Zoom and the lovely editor, Mars, who works on the ads for this show, her background was from the video game Animal Crossing and you in all sincerity went, wow, you have a beautiful living room. And it was like pink wood, like a rabbit lived there. I'm going to admit that Mars, who by the way, shout out to Mars, she's very cool, does great work for the podcast. And she had this background.

In my defense, it was a small box, there were many boxes up. So it's not like I was watching it on a giant screen on this Zoom. But I complimented her on her lovely, creative, kind of cool Etsy-styled room. And then it turned out she had to tell me that, no, this is from... What is it from again? Animal Crossing. Animal Crossing. And that...

And by the way, just so you know, this video game is not like a photorealistic video game. It's like kind of like the Smurfs. No, it really was if someone had put up as their background the living room from the Flintstones and I said, oh, I love your rock apartment. I think that's really beautiful. So all of you laughed really hard because Ha Ha Conan's an idiot who doesn't understand how things work and... Okay, I guess we're done then.

Also, you never go, oh, I'm sorry, I was wrong. You were like, no, that living room looks very real and everyone's like, it's a cartoon. And you're like, no, no, no, but from my perspective, like you just couldn't... You go on to gaslight us. Yes. I'm always, always hoping that I can get myself out of trouble if I just keep talking. And so that is my modus operandi. And so I just thought if I keep talking, I'll hit upon something, they will make you guys

go, oh, I guess that kind of makes sense. And then I'm in the clear and then I get to shit on you guys for even thinking that I was wrong. It's never happened. So, well, anyway, I said 45 incorrect things about technology in this improvised opening to the show. And if you can spot them all, you'll win a solid Cherrywood VCR. Solid.

Is there room to put the video clip in? Yes. It's the heart of a solid Cherrywood. Cherrywood by Nick Offerman. And this VCR will be sent your way through the US mail. All right, let's do this. My guest today is an Emmy Award-winning actress who starred as Claire Dunphy for 11 seasons on the hit ABC series Modern Family.

Now she has a new podcast Quitters available wherever you get your podcasts. I'm very excited. She's with us today. Julie Bowen, welcome. This podcast, I gotta tell you, you guys got me through the pandemic. I refused to listen for a while, okay? I was a holdout. I was a holdout.

I was like... That makes sense. I don't... Yeah. That makes total sense. Really popular. You know, you don't want to be like, I love Coke, I love Coca-Cola. So I listened to this throughout the podcast while riding my bike up and down the Hollywood

Hills because there was nothing else to do. And I would listen to you guys go, oh, do you think someone's watching this when they're working out? Oh, God, I hope not. Yeah. They're not in the gym. And I'm like, I'm on my bike, Conan. Can you hear me?

Like, I was so... We could hear you, actually. I don't understand how that's possible, but the technology has gotten so good that we would hear you and we could tell, we could kind of tell, this is a steep hill. She's huffing. Yeah, she's on the Bird Street. She's really... She's climbed like 3,000 feet.

This is incredible. Oh, my glutes. I would seriously get so excited though, because I would go out for the entirety of however long the podcast was, and then I would even listen to the ads, because I get really excited when they change. Yeah. I get super excited. And I got so into Sona and Matt.

I'm sorry. No, no, but that's the whole, listen, I can handle that. I think I'm not an egomaniacal monster. I think one of the things that helps the podcast work is that we are a parfait. I might be, there are many levels here, there are at least three levels of creamy goodness. But they don't mix in a parfait, do they? They kind of, you just... We don't mix.

No, I understand. That is pretty accurate. I am a layer of granola and then... You're the base, you're the yogurt. Okay, I'm the yogurt, sure, but a high quality yogurt. Like a full fat Greek? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're a real full fat Greek yogurt. Yeah. You're my big fat Greek yogurt. Yeah. What does that make gorelly? Gorelly, I want to say, is this like a sigh berry. Something tangy. Yeah, that's become very trendy.

And people say it's good for you, but it will be found out in a couple of years that it's really not good for you. Like cigarettes. Yeah, exactly. And that it has no... Oh, you mean cool. It has no nutrients and actually robs nutrients from your body, but then, Sonia, you are the whipped topping.

I'm going to say that. Okay. Not substantial, but everyone loves you. They're the part they save for last and then they take that big dollop of whipped fun at the top of the parfait. Okay, cool. So I am the base. I will take it.

Most the nutrients and, of course, important fats and all that good dairy protein. Matt, nothing. And then... Matt, nothing. Matt, nothing. Matt, it crushed cigarette in the middle of your parfait. Can I start my own parfait or out of this one? Well, I was listening and I was listening intently and I loved it so much that I got

hit by a truck. What? That's right. What are you talking about? So look, you can't... This is a visual medium, right? This is... It's audio.

But, I mean, this and these two fingers... Oh, my God. All these three fingers, they're all broken. They aren't usually as crone-like and like birds' hands, but these are broken because I was listening and laughing and I got hit by a truck. Oh, my... Or were you... I mean, your hands were hurt.

And the other injuries? The rest of me was fine. I mean, clearly, I'm not well on the head to begin with, so there wasn't much they could do. And I'm the idiot. I know that you famously walk around Los Angeles in sort of like full Lance Armstrong circa 2000 gear, right? I walk around LA and...

Don't you clack into... I feel like I've been somewhere and see you clack, clack, clack into somewhere. Years ago, I would wear that stuff because I was biking with friends who were super intense bikers and they would all do that. And then at some point, I think it's been like eight years, I said, I don't want to dress like a spaceman to go ride a bike. And so I totally started riding with a different friend, Brad, and he showed me the real way that I prefer, which is I wear a shorts, I wear a t-shirt, and I wear like some long

sleeve... But you wear... It looks like I'm a roadie in a band now. And you wear a brain bucket. You wear a helmet. You have to wear a helmet. Yeah. Did not wear one when hit by a truck.

No, that's bad. That's very bad. I know it's bad. So you guys owe me something. Yeah. So be nice. Because this is... Be nice because I'm like...

This is my fault, yes. Because... I'm listening for all the coded clues about whether or not you're going to like me. Yeah. Well, we've hung out before, by the way, because you're friends with one of my neighbors and I remember going over to your... To the neighbor's house once and you were hanging there and we had a lovely time hanging out.

And then I ran away because I was terrified. Terrified of? You. She said, one day, come over, we're just going to hang out, we're having a pool thing. And I said, is Conan going to be there? And she said, yeah. And I go, well, then I can't wear my friends and family bikini. Because like you've...

I've given birth to twins and another child and I could not... I hold you in high regard. That's very nice. I don't understand how this relates to... How... Why I like you. Well, no, no, no. I mean...

I don't understand why... Why I run away. Why you are a very attractive person and yeah, I didn't... I would never enter my mind that you would be worried about, I can't wear this bikini around Conan. Oh, yes. Oh, definitely. Sona, how do you feel about your body after babies?

Not the best. I'm not going to lie, I'm trying to get back there but it's... The boobs are probably working. They can't discuss this. Goorley and... Yes. And Conan cannot even... Goorley was about to jump in and start talking.

I was. I say it's you. You're welcome. Thank you. I'm still open to talking about my breasts but I won't force you to talk. Goorley is lactating, he has a child recently. He's got a newborn. Goorley.

I know, it's just not as exciting as twins. I'm sorry, Goorley. No, it's okay. I understand. It's half as exciting. And it's not your first child, right? It is my first child. Oh, it is your first?

Yeah. Yeah. Kind of got swept under the carpet. All the excitement. Well, I think what happened was because, I mean, look, Goorley, that's a hard act to follow. Sona had twins and then you were like, hey, look at me. We had one child.

That's the best I could do. And I think everyone listening to the podcast was like, boo, why not three, why not four? Boo. You hack. And I think that's terrible that people reacted that way. But yeah, Sona, you guys should bond about this because you've had twins and you've had twins. I have had twins but also, Goorley, just I have to say, your contribution, I'm sure

will be grand throughout this child's life, it was nothing on the outset. Like, you'd have to bear the child, you didn't have to destroy the body. You don't have a Nicky Glazer vagina now. No, mine's more of a Lisa Lampinelli. I love that reference to Nicky Glazer, who made me laugh so hard because she was on the late night show once and said that, what did she say? She said, I remember, she said her vagina was a hastily packed suitcase and that I remember thinking to myself, dear God, it's time.

And there was a first time after having twins, taking my clothing off alone and walking towards a mirror and going, no, she's right, it's a shirt tail. It's not okay. I didn't want to admit it to myself or others and then Nicky just said it. Right. She just said it. Yeah. And there I was.

I know, it's rough. I didn't, I got, I had a C-section. So I can't really. Her children, her babies walked out. Yeah, they did. They were crawling out. They walked out fully clothed. Did you schedule a C-section?

I did. I had to because of my age and. Here's the creepy part. How big they were. I scheduled a C-section. For her? Yeah, for her to work around the podcast schedule. And the doctor said, I don't think this is actually the good time.

I don't think they're ready. And I was like, hey, this is what's happening. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is what you're already. This is what you're already with my gyno. It was like, we need it to happen now. Yeah. And this is, and yeah.

And then I assisted, which I thought was completely. Inappropriate. Inappropriate. And I didn't know what I was doing. No, all of the doctors involved lost their licenses. Yeah. To allow you into the OR. I wouldn't love to see that.

I didn't wash up. I didn't work. Washings for weaklings. That's, I just thought, oh, everyone's being a baby. Yeah. He left a watch in there. I left, well, first of all. And, and guess what?

I want it back because that is a. You're just going to have to birth at that. I know, that'll birth. That is a really, that's, that Timex means a lot to me. And I want that fucker back. So I've scheduled another C-section to go back in and get. Get it out again. What was, I think when I got it in 1989, a $35 Timex.

Okay. But now it's, it's an heirloom. Now we can sell it as an NFT or whatever it's called. No, we can't. Non-fungible thing. All right. Non-fungible. I don't know.

I don't even know what I'm talking about. Well, you, you joke about making her get a, I think, I hope you joke about making her get a C-section. But when my. Yes. Yes. I am for my, for our listeners. That was me.

And for the legal department. Good Lord. And for the legal department. That was all in good fun. You know how I like to joke about forcing women. To do things with their bodies. To have invasive surgery. Oh, that's just one of my many riffs.

My now ex-husband, uh, heard me mumbling about wanting one more kid after we had had twins. Cause I thought, I, after you have twins, I thought I could do one more with my eyes closed. Right. So easy. So he immediately scheduled a vasectomy. As one does.

Right. And I went with him to the, the appointment to get the information and they gave us some pamphlet that described all the, like what to expect. And there's all these drawings, like out of this, like a 1960s textbook in school. And there's a woman standing there. First of all, the doctor says, we, uh, we like to do this on a Thursday afternoon, Friday morning. Uh, have you back at work Monday?

So, uh, and I was like, hell no, we're doing this. I need him up and running on the weekend. I, a week I covered during the week, hell no, we're doing this on a Tuesday. I need that fucker up and running by Friday. So you refer to your ex as that fucker at the, at the time with love. Right. Right. Right.

So what went wrong in the marriage? Hey fucker. Hey. Happy Valentine's Day. There was a lot wrong with me. Um, he's so nice. I don't know why he put up with me, but they give us this pamphlet that says like, what to expect.

If you get a vasectomy. If you get a vasectomy. And there's a woman sort of, like leaning over with a tray of potato skins as her husband sits in a barca lounge or all drawn, you know, that sort of with like ferns and like patio doors going out to a pool and he's watching the game and he's got up some frozen peas on his crotch and she's serving a potato skins. And I said, we're not fucking need this. And I ripped it up and I threw it out because I was like, you're going to be fine.

I gave birth to twins. You're going to be great up and Adam. So did it. So he had the vasectomy without the benefit of the pamphlet. And he said to me, I pick him up afterwards. He's gray faced this poor man. Why did he put up with me? He goes, just drive.

And I said, what happened in there? He goes, just drive. And he's doubled over. I said, what happened? He goes, should have read the pamphlet. And I said, what did we miss? And he was like, I was supposed to shave. And I was like, oh no.

Oh, no. Oh, you're supposed to shave down there. Apparently. I didn't know that. Why? Because it was not allowed in the room that is his story to tell. I realize I've told 99% of him of that 1% of it. That's the kind of thing where I would fuck up and go to the barber.

Oh, no. Yeah, like a good. I would, yeah. And I would just think like, no, no, no, not up here, down here. And it would be like this, this sort of stereotypical Italian barber who's like, oh, what do you talk about? Come on. It's the same.

Hot towel. It's the same principle. Yeah. Hot towel. And he's got the blade. And other people are coming in and I'm saying, yeah. So anyway, big game this weekend and I've got my legs in stirrups. Your legs off.

I am no alike of this. What if he spins the chair away from the door, though, and you know you're going to get murdered. They're here to murder your balls. My God. Why did he do it, though? I don't understand why he. Why he got a vasectomy?

No. Why the barber shaved your balls. Oh, in that scenario, he did it because I'm a good tipper. He's exactly. Yeah, and I sat and I waited my turn and I read the magazine like everyone else and that was my turn. And I took my pants off and he went, what do you do? And he went, well, you know, it's the same principle.

This is first fall. No one's ever come in a guns a blazer. What? Like Julie Bowen. I love it. Nobody has ever come in. Are you kidding me? This is like I was I was doing like pump up laps in my house like you got this.

Like a 14 year old boy before the big game. And I was so nervous because why it's us, you know, because I've listened to you way too much. I've listened to you. And like I said, I feel like I've got the code and so although I am losing track of it right now. I'm not sure there is a code. I honestly don't think there is.

I think but not an intentional I haven't I don't pay attention that much. I know. We all know. I zone out. That is your. You know, my MMO has you zone out. So now why do you put up with this? That's a he puts up with a lot too.

But are you really as as terrible an employee as they make you out to be? No. I mean they make you out to be like somebody who's like starts to make an airline reservation and kind of gets through one one half of the ticket. I have done that. And then you get back to you to say this. I'm going to say this in stone is defense. You probably don't want to go down this path because and listen, I say this.

with love, I am quite, Sona's got a book that's coming out called World's Worst Assistant. I do, yeah. She wrote that it's really good and I wrote the forward and I'm quite honest in the forward, I believe. Yes.

But one of the things I go out of my way to say is that I really, we, I love Sona. We are besties, but some of the shit she has pulled, oh yeah, no, I mean. Who pals? You know what's interesting? My wife has pointed out to me that I, she's never seen me.

The minute Sona had these twins and I started getting pictures, I stopped everybody and make them look at pictures of her kids and she said, Charlie and Mikey. Yeah, she said, you didn't do this with our kids and you still don't do it with our kids. I'm like, ah, kids, look at these guys.

I mean, I'm gonna say, he's gonna be the godfather to my boys. Yeah. To both? That's how, yeah, that's how we're very close. He's going to be, has he been told this? Is this, am I in on like the big movie? I know, I'm telling you, oh, by the way, can you do it?

No. No, I'm pretty busy. No, yeah, I haven't done it yet. No, no, no, they asked me, I came over and you and TAC asked me to do it and it was really funny because it was very subtle, but her husband, TAC, who's a very funny guy, he had music playing in the background

and then they said they wanted to talk to me about something and then he quietly, I don't know if with a remote control or something, but he switched the song and it was just playing kind of quietly in the background but he started playing as he was asking me, as they were both asking me the Godfather theme. I was gonna go, I love it. And so, he's talking and it's so, it's.

You come to me. Yeah, it's, but it's so, it was so subliminal. It was at this kind of low level and then I heard like the ma, ma, ma, ma, ma. But it's subliminal and then they're like, we want to ask you something and then they, it was really, it was really funny. It was cute.

It was very funny, but I think you're all in excitement to be here is misplaced. Oh no, you should be flattered. I am very flattered. We are flattered. We're flattered, we're flattered. I've always loved your show and I've always thought you were hilariously funny,

but getting this format is the bomb. Like getting to let you just roll and riff is so good. That's the part that I've, you know, was such a surprise to me was, started to do it and I had this inkling like, well, wait, this could be kind of fun. And I remember them coming to me and saying, well, there's one thing you're probably gonna say no to,

which is you have to read ads. And I said, so that's probably gonna negate the whole thing for you. And I said, do I get to sort of read them as myself and be kind of honest? And they went, well, yes. And I said, well, that just sounds like fun. Yeah.

And then, you know, they brought a gorelly in and despite all of the jokes and cruel older brother riffing that I do with him, he's spectacular. I mean, he really makes this thing hum. No, no, it's true. No, it's true. He really, he, and so this is where I feel like you and I can really connect, which is so nice.

Are you being serious? I am. Is he being genuine? Yeah, that's great. Like I feel like, and he's about to drop, he's about to drop like an ice cold funny bomb on my neck. No, no, no, no, no. I love that.

Cause I am wearing my friends and family bikini under this. If it went well, I thought, maybe, just maybe, I'll go, no, this is, by the way, I wear this for you. I love that sweater. It's a Ram's head, no, it's obviously, it's clearly a female reproductive system. The female, you have a lovely sweater and you know, it's nice, it looks, it's kind of a Christmassy sweater.

And it's got this design that at first glance, you think is just kind of a nice design. And then you realize, oh, that is a quite precise rendering of the female reproductive system. You know, I saw it on Lena Dunham, I think was wearing it and I was like, well, if she could, I can rock that. And I'm a big knitter. I know that's as nerdy as F, but you might like that.

I feel like you guys get into old school stuff. He just fell asleep. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I, I, He fainted looking at your sweater. No, no, I've, exactly, it's just that. It's so much for you. I'm staring at the female reproductive system. I know, I thought it'd help you get comfortable with it

cause I am a huge fan. And one of my favorite things that like, you nearly knocks me off the bike every time, but only really knocked me off the bike once, was when you make the penis talk and the voice and how uncomfortable though you are talking about the lady parts. Yeah.

And I'm okay with that. I respect it. I just thought we'd have a chair. I have a very, I am an uptight person. It's funny, I have two sides. I'm quite almost Victorian and uptight in some ways. But then as a reaction to that, the other side, I have this Jekyll Hyatt thing.

The other side is not afraid of anything. And I don't understand how these two people can be jammed into one pair. I think it's when you feel safe. Like, right? If somebody's being sort of restrictive, you can be expansive. Yes, very good.

And if they're being, if they're so crazy and you don't know where they're gonna go, that's me. And you're like, oh shit, then you sort of have to take it down. Now, I was curious about something. You are a middle child, right? So there's three sisters. Three sisters.

And you're the middle. You talk about your family a lot. Yeah. But are you, and I try to imagine them, are they all really tall? There's, they're quite, they're pretty tall. I have a sister who's average height, Kate. Yeah, is that being like six foot?

She's six four. She's six four. Average of your family is. But yeah, I would say for the most part, we are, I think I was one of the tallest until my brother, my youngest brother, Justin, overtook me. Oh yeah. Now I think he was juicing.

I think he was juicing. He was juicing. Yeah, he was just trying to, he was trying to, you know, take me down. And then he barely creeped up above me. Does that bother you? No, it really didn't. And you know what's so funny is I have a son who is,

I have a son and a daughter, but my son had this crazy growth spurt during COVID, but he was quite vocal that he does not want to be my height because he says, that's too tall. You're too tall and it's kind of weird. And I keep, he keeps saying it. And I'm like, you know, it's a little hurtful. And he's like, look, don't get me wrong.

I'm happy to be tall. I just don't want to be that kind of tall. And I said, you know, I'm not in the circus. You know, people aren't coming for thousands of miles to check me out. But it's not a functional tall. It isn't. It's like a decorative tall.

Like I have decorative muscles. Like I work out a lot and they're just decorative. They're not doing, there's no reason. Well, also my height is wasted on me. It doesn't, you know, I use, for years, people say like, oh man, I bet you play. I bet you're a great at basketball. And I'd say, well, actually apparently you need coordination.

You need, you know, sort of hand-to-eye skills. Not just height. Yeah. You need to care about getting the ball in the basket, which is something that I've always, and whenever I would play basketball, cause I used to play it a lot, sort of just in the neighborhood when I was growing up.

And all I would do was invent characters and babble the whole time and try and make people laugh. But I didn't give a shit if the basket went into the hoop. I didn't care. I just cared about, no, no, no. Isn't this a funny guy I'm being now? And they'd be like, you know, be great if you helped a little bit.

Yeah. You could at least just stand there under the basket and be like a big, like a shack. Yeah, but I would not be paying attention. And I would be. I'd be doing a bit underneath the basket where I pretend the pole that's holding up, you know, is like another person.

And I would have a backstory. I used to play with my brother Luke all the time. And I used to, and some other friends. And I would always go on and on about, okay, the guy I am now, who's playing stick ball, who's up to the plate. Okay, he committed murder a couple of years ago.

He attacked a fan. And I had, his name was Nikki Fiss. P-8, this is true. Wait, really? Yeah. I'd say, okay, it's Nikki Fiss is now up at the plate. And they'd be like, what the fuck are you doing? You can just get up, you know,

take the complete play stick ball across the street at this park. And I'd be like, no, no, no, no. No, I'm Nikki Fiss now. Now, Nikki Fiss just spent two years in prison because he attacked a fan in the stands and beat him with his bat. He's hated by everyone.

He's a cheap shot. He's mostly, but he's a quick infielder. And they'd be like, would you shut up? This is before every at bat. Before every at bat. Oh, guys, you need to hear Nikki's backstory. Everybody hated it. Man.

Didn't they all have it memorized at a certain point? Or did you bring in new elements? You're like, yeah. I brought in different people, yeah. Nikki has tuberculosis. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How did they not beat you sensibly? Nikki lost a leg to diabetes,

but he's still playing the game. Oh, God. Yeah, he's. Despite his vaccine, Nikki has polio. Poor Nikki. And then you'd run to first, like, to a disabled young man. It's shocking that I wasn't beaten to death as a child.

Yeah. And several people tried, but I'd never, I'd made it. I made it through. But that's where the height works in your favor, even if it's not functional. Like you can't play basketball or volleyball. And by your admission,

then maybe it kept you out of fights because they were scared. They're like, what if he unleashed that height at a certain point? There is, yeah. I am right. If I ever truly unleashed. Cause I have, people are surprised.

I get mad. I have a temper. You do have a temper. I have a temper. It's not a physical. No, but it is an Irish. Like, I will, that person just screwed me or my friend or one of my family members over.

And I will hate them. And I will, I will never forget it. Will you, will you just drink at them? I will drink at them. I will look. I will drink at you. I am Irish. I will drink at you until you can't even stand it.

I'm going to shorten my life by drinking and thinking about you. I'm going to take this so hard. And you're never going to know. I'm going to shorten my life. Yeah. I'll take, I'll take at least 15 years off my life expectancy drinking and hating you.

And guess what? I'll never tell you so it won't affect you in any way. So fucking chew on that. Yeah. And when you show up at my funeral and I'm dead and you're not, just think about that. You never knew how much I hated you. Now I have a question because, you know,

on your character on modern family, always day drinking. And it almost put this thought in my head. Claire is such a day drinker that sometimes, and I do this and I should know better, but we all do it. I think of you that way. As like day drinking and, and having a glass of wine all the time, or maybe on your bike, you have. I have a squeeze bottle of wine.

Not even. You have a, you have a glass of wine filled with Chardonnay and you've jammed it, you've jammed it into the little basket of the bike. But I know that, I know that it's called acting, but I swear to God, you're, you were so good in that role that there was part of me that just would assume, oh yeah. Yeah, Julie's, Julie's going to walk in here

with like a large glass of very, very oaky Chardonnay. No, I mean, but a buttery Chardonnay with ice cubes to honor my mother, who never, never, never got an expensive wine that she didn't want to put an ice cube in. No, I am actually a very weak, weak willed, weak drinker. If I, when I drink, that's, it's three hours to bedtime from that point.

So if I drink it noon, we're, we're done at 3 p.m. Right. And if I, so, you know, I have a glass of wine with dinner, I'm going to bed at 10. That's just the way it is. I'm, I'm not that much fun. What about, cause this is a question I have for you. You might be able to relate to this,

cause Sona is very good at self-medicating. Yeah. And it's talked about it. You've been open about it. It's legal, it's legal. It's legal. They don't let them weed shame you. No, no, no, I'm not weed shaming you.

I'm very, I am very. You're weed shaming me constantly. There's probably thousands of hours on tape of me weed shaming you, but I don't think I really do it that much. But you, but you're a believer in gummies. Have you done that? Have you done a pot in any manner? I have a therapist whom I really like

and she's a full doctor. So I was trying to squeeze her for some ambient or something cause I never sleep. I'm a terrible sleeper. And she said, no, you really need some, some marijuana. And I was like, what do you think I am? I come to you for a professional opinion. And this is very unprofessional.

And she said, what if I wrote you a prescription for marijuana? And I was like, okay. So basically she wrote me a prescription for a half an edible gummy at bedtime every night. And they will put you down. And then you just have to hope that you're not a middle of the night peer, which I am. I didn't mention how many babies I had.

That bladder is basically in my pocket. I carry it with me. Most of my organs. I saw you, I'm sorry. I thought that was a change purse. No, no, it's my bladder. Cause you took it out at one point and I thought, you know. I thought I just poured this water right on her foot.

She's gonna give me a coin. And no, I didn't realize that was your bladder. No, that's my bladder. And so when you have to get in the middle of the night, but what do you do, what do you need to do? Do you like meditate or masturbate or what's the story? I, well, first for me, no, I am gonna have an answer right now. For me, masturbation is the form of meditation.

I understand. I, you know, I got a special mat. Oh, come on. It's not me, is it? Oh my God. Oh, oh, God. A mat, a special mat, mat. No, no, that's why I got this job.

No, not you, Matt. The other, you know, yoga mat. You know what they say in meditation is you're supposed to stare into the middle distance with a fixed gaze. That's what I'm doing as I'm self-pleasuring. Oh, man. You abuse yourself while staring into the middle distance.

I'm so bad. Liza comes in, there's got candles. I'm on a special mat. Yeah, and yeah, it's much faster than normal meditation, let me just say. It's much quicker. You get into a real great head space. And you, oh, I've met Liza and as everyone says,

she is so good and she is so... There's my wife, Liza, yes. Your wife, Liza. I've met Liza Minnelli for a minute. We were like, what a name dropper. What a name dropper. No. By the way, and it comes out of nowhere.

By the way, I've met Liza Minnelli. Where the fuck did that come from? I've met all famous Liza's. I just thought I'd let you know that right now. My wife, Liza, yes. Your wife, Liza, is way above this kind of humor. To quote the great Sonomo Sessi and said to me once, Liza is the only thing I like about you.

Which is, she's a rock star. But you know there are those people that you... People think there must be something to him because this very intelligent, beautiful woman seems to be sticking it out with him. And, you know, if she walked at any point, she could, every court in the land would say, you can have everything.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it's California. We've listened to the podcast. They'd say it anyhow. We've listened to the podcast. Yeah, you put up with enough. No, not even just half. You can have all of it.

All of it. Conan's going to the Ramada Inn. It was the masturbation math that did it 100%. Your honor, we'd like to play the bit he did when Julie Bohm was on, where he has a type of yoga meditation where he masturbates. That's not necessary, your honor. We concede the point.

And we rule in favor. Oh man, okay. Sona, is your brain back? It's getting there. It's bad. It is. It is bad. And there's a lot of other stuff too.

That's just like, you know... No sleep. No sleep, yeah. Also a lot of grandparents, which I love, but there's also a lot of voices, a lot of things. It's a lot. Yeah, you have to put on earmuffs and not listen to all the advice.

Yeah. Conan, have you given her a lot of child rearing advice? Or were you like, I was not present? No, I think I was, I wasn't hopeful, but I was present. I was not at all helpful, but I was present. I was very good at getting our daughter to eat because I can make kids laugh. And I was really good at saying,

no one's taking these strained carrots from me and playing those kinds of games. And she would, Liza could not get her to eat for a while. And then I would come in and I'd be like, ah, good, my strained squash. It's just for me. Now I'll just turn this way and she would shovel all this food into her mouth.

And then I'd turn around and go like, what? What's happened? And I'd have her stuffed animals up in arms and she would be like, suddenly, I think she gained 60 pounds and she was only two years old. But I wanna make sure I talk to you about because I think, you know, there are,

obviously there's a lot of people out there jumping into the podcast space, as they say. I think you are uniquely equipped to be doing a podcast and you're doing one called, it's brand new and it's called Quitters. And it's gonna, it premiered yesterday. Yesterday. Well, yeah.

We'll say, I'll do it this way. It premiered on February 14th and I really like the idea behind this. I want you to talk about it. I don't know how you do this day in and day out. But I, yes, we started my partner Chad Sanders and I started a podcast. He's the brains and I'm the talky one.

But he wrote a book called Black Magic, which is about turning the trauma of being black in America into something positive. Like if you can survive that, you can survive anything. And he also wrote a New York Times op-ed piece called, I don't want your love texts that was really upsetting during all the BLM movement, during all of those protests that was basically like, do not text me, white people

and tell me, you know, what can I, how are you? And I was like, wait, no, I'm not supposed to. Which is also a little bit in line with, you know, what I was hearing at the time from black people that I was talking to was that we also don't want to be explaining our situation to you. Yes, yes, I- Which I completely understand.

Like the last thing, you know, they wanted was for white America to say, now tell us. Right. Explain to us. Now explain. Yeah, now explain. Now we're ready. But I didn't get that either.

I didn't get that either. Cause I was like, don't you want to explain? Haven't you been waiting for this opportunity? Which is so grandiose. Haven't you just been waiting for me to sit down and pour you a cup of joe? So we can talk about your experience. But Chad and I just started talking

and we were gonna do, we were looking at doing a TV show or a movie together or something. And he had this idea for a podcast and I said, I want to do it. Let's do that. That sounds good. And 40 million people quit their jobs in America in the last, in 2021.

That's, so there's a lot of people quitting stuff and it's not necessarily about quitting like, oh, I couldn't hack it. They kind of old school, like, cause I had people say to me like, what about stick toitiveness? Right. That's my father. It's also most prospectors in cartoons.

What about she told me? What about fighting your way to the top already? No, that was George. No. I know what I was gonna say. So this is more about quitting the stuff that you thought really defined you and it was really important.

And in order to let it go to do something else, not necessarily just like, I don't wanna work and quitting. We're not, we don't actually support that. And Chad quit the tech world and in doing so, actually quit a lot of white culture because he was working at Google and then went back to, went started writing for television and he was working with Spike Lee.

And he's like, why am I dealing with a corporate structure that is based on whiteness that I will never be able to climb that ladder? And I thought that was really interesting. And so we have this podcast. We talked to people about things they're quitting, things they have quit, things they wanna quit. And the greatest slash worst part of it

is Chad Institute, these bells that you can ring on one another. Naturally, I never ring the bell. It is constantly being rung on me when I put my foot in my mouth, which happens all the goddamn time. But I'm hoping people can kind of go on this ride with us and go, you know, she's educated.

We were not gonna say smart. But I went, I have some college and I definitely, I have some college. That was, I got a true, that was a Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Yeah, that's a good one. I have some college.

I have a little college, but I'm educated and I should know better. And I think I stand in for a lot of people who stick their foot right squarely in their mouth. And then in this whole cancel culture period that we're in, it's kind of hoping that you can learn as you go. Well, I think that, I mean, first of all, quitting has a negative connotation,

which I don't think it deserves because there are many things you should quit. And somewhere along the line, quitting became, well, if you quit, you gave up. It's like, no, you're quitting something so that you can find something else. You're quitting something so that you can help figure out what it is you're supposed to be doing.

Right. Have you ever quit anything? Yeah, I mean, I... You quit late night? Yeah, I did. I mean, that's the biggest thing is I quit. That's kind of huge. Yeah.

Why did you? Can I ask that? I'm asking. Fuck it, I'm asking. Sure. Because it was 28 years of doing it and it was in the back of my mind that it would be time to wrap up the night to night of it,

which I almost began to feel when I started doing late night, way a million years ago, back in 93, there was much less television and there was this real estate. And it felt like, no, there has to be something on at 1230 and you've got to fill this time every night. And I remember it at the time, I think I was on,

we hardly got any vacation. We hardly got any breaks at all because there was this feeling that you've got to keep this thing going. And then after a long period of time, I started to feel like I still wanna make funny things or things that I wanna try to make funny things or things that I think are funny,

but I don't think anybody needs to see me every night. It really did come from that. I do not think this is necessary anymore for me. I really, I don't think America demands it. And- So you don't read the comments. No, I- You're not sure.

And it's just volume. It had been, I think, something like 4,500 hours of entertaining people. And I thought, I still want to do that. And the podcast gives me the ability to do this quite regularly, but when I make something for television, I'd like to make less of it

and maybe put a little more time into it. So we'll see, but I- Was it a hard decision? You know, I have to say it really wasn't. So did your life change significantly before and after? Like when you were like, I am done. Like how did your day to day, is it different?

It's different, but I was surprised at how busy it still is. It's very busy. Because there's a lot to do. I mean, we're working on the next thing. But also I, the podcast, we do this and we also do fan episodes once a week. Oh, I know, yeah.

How about that guy with the tanks? Oh man. Yeah, I can't believe it. I want to buy that tank. Yeah. I could not understand. I came in in the middle. I know, because I do it listen like it's radio.

I appreciate that when you go- You came in the middle. Well, how? That is something I would do too. Yeah. I wish I had heard the beginning. Well, guess that'll never happen. That's the kind of thing I would say in front of my son

and he'd say, no, you slide it back to the beginning. Yeah. You can control your destiny as a podcast listener. You can, but when you listen, so in the middle of the night, when I can't sleep, I try not to look at a screen. Right. But I don't want to get in my crazy wheelie thoughts.

So I hit the podcast button on my phone and I just, I usually hit the sleep timer for like 30 minutes or something. But every now and again, I miss the timer and it just keeps going and going and going. So it says that I've listened to 17 podcasts that I haven't. So I'm going back and I'm just hitting it. It's in the middle and I-

I love that I'm getting into your head while you're asleep. I know what you mean too, but that tank guy, the fan guy was amazing. He builds tanks. That was cool. That was crazy. That was like your dream dude, right? Yeah.

I have to admit, there is part of me that wants to have a tank. Yeah, I know. We all know. And I want to blow things up. Yeah. So you have to do, you've had fan episodes and you've got this and then you've got

all the other podcasts that you produce. Plus, you don't just get a body like mine. Like I'm working out constantly. I'm using various ropes and pulleys. I'm using- What? You're an old ship. I'm an old ship. We have to re, I need rigging.

I've got barnacles in my nether regions. Oh no. There's a lot of this. Oh no. It's not much about your penis. Oh for God's sake. This whole episode. And yet, the penis hasn't spoken.

Which is- Oh no. The thing is, when my penis talks, it's like he's very, he's an introvert. Yeah. And he likes to read like the New Yorker. Yes. And back when I was in my single days,

and I'd be like, yeah, and he gets, you know, like I'd be like, come on, we're on a hot date. You gotta, you gotta, you know. I don't wanna. Did you put that? What are you reading? Are you reading the Atlantic?

I'm reading an article about global warming. Stop it. This is, we gotta get to work here now, you know? This woman's hot. This date's going really well. No problem. You know, like just to really- I have an idea that we should wrap up this podcast episode

with the understanding that you'll be listening to this half asleep Julia. And we can end this episode with some little whispers for you. Oh, that's a good idea. Oh my gosh. Because you know you're gonna listen to yourself. Yeah.

And now it's time for you to relax. Julie, sleep, sleep. Oh my, this is so nice. Sleep, sleep, sleep. It's so nice talking to me now too. Is this really happening? What if this actually happens? Yeah, you should just go to sleep.

Oh my God. I'm awake now. I'm awake. He was coming to it. Oh my God. Conan's penis. That's a wake her up. Nobody wants to talk to her penis.

I had kind of seen him about three hours ago. Shut up. We're trying to get Julie Bowen to go to sleep. It brings me so much joy. You have got to sleep at night. And that is true. Matt, you're right. You're gonna, and to all of our listeners right now,

I don't care where you're listening. If you're at work, if you're performing surgery, important surgery, life-saving surgery, I want you to go to sleep if you're listening in the car and you're transporting a bunch of it. In children too. Preschool. Sleep.

Just not off. Just let it go. Julie, you came in loaded for bear. Oh, I love it. Fantastic. It's tear. Thank you for saying that. I love it.

Some people like people being nerdy superfans. I am such a nerdy superfan. Well, that's sweet. I have favorite episodes. Well, that, no, I mean. Favorite bits and to be here is like, it's a full armpit explosion of sweat. Jesus.

I just love you. And you're really good at this. And you're really, you're like, you are kind of the godfather if we could get some godfather music. Yeah. We don't have to pay for this. The licensing that Coppola will hit us for.

It costs so much. But you are, you are the, you, you made this weird thing that people do in their basements and in their closets. Incredibly cool and interesting. And I've actually learned a lot. And you've inspired me and inspired me to do my own podcast. But everybody comes on here.

And I'm always like, I want to be the person that, that he says, we should get a meal. Oh. Look, I'm pretty busy. Oh no. And I know you just put yourself in a very vulnerable position. I really did.

Are you kidding? I mean, first of all, my wife is also going to be jealous if she's not part of it. Because as you know, she is. I won't wear inflammatory sweaters. No, you should. That's not inflammatory. No, you absolutely should.

It's not inflammatory. I just. It's the female reproductive system. It's where it's the reason we're all here for Christ's sake. I thought if nothing else, because you know, for talk show segments, you have to have stories and stories and stories. And I was driving here or getting dressed.

And I said, okay, nothing. There's no pre-interview. There's nothing. All I know is these people talking. And I knew I loved your penis voice. And I knew that you didn't necessarily have a vagina voice or a uterus. He's scared of it.

It usually makes you cramp. He can't hear the word uterus. He can't hear the word ovary. It would sound like, it would sound like saran from Lord of the Rings, you know? Why are you here? Gee, I knew this wasn't going to work out. You have no right.

Wow, you're dancing around her face. I'm so unhappy. Oh my God. In my wildest dreams, I didn't think I would actually hear this. Oh my God. Be gone. Okay.

I'll just take this little ring and go. You'll take nothing. Oh, wow. Okay. Well, there we go. There it is. That's the vagina voice. Oh, wow.

The voice of saran. The most evil force in the universe. All right. Well, Julie, you've got to come back. I will. Please. Sorry. Yeah.

You've got to come back because this was too much fun. And congrats on your new venture, Quitters, which is available. Where? Wherever you get your podcasts. I mean, wherever you get your podcasts. Conan. Thank you so much. I'm sorry everyone did.

Oh, man. You didn't ruin anything. You were great. Quitters. Check it out. And Julie, please come back soon. Thank you. Thank you so much.

Hey, Conan. Hey, Conan, you popped up on Saturday Night Live very recently and very specially. Yeah. Yeah. It was... Especially. Yeah, especially. I don't know if that's the right way.

It was a very special episode of Saturday Night Live with a... They addressed eating disorders and it started out by saying, this is a very special Saturday Night Live tonight. Especially? What am I thinking? I don't know what you were thinking, but yeah, it was really nice. It was special. It was special.

I don't know when this... When this... When people will be hearing this, but as I speak, it was just the other day and what happened was John Mulaney, who I'm a huge fan of and we've become hals over the years. He basically told me that he was me hosting Saturday Night Live for the fifth time and that I was invited to come by and see the show and I had not been back to 30 Rockefeller Center pretty much since I departed in 2009 to come out West. So I hadn't been back there and it felt like this is a nice way to go back.

The plan was just for me to sit in the audience and get to see some of the people that I've... Or hang around backstage and watch the show. And then reconnect with people like Jim Downey, who was the head writer at Saturday Night Live, who hired me, who's one of the icons, one of the great comedy writers of all time. He and I have reconnected recently, so I was going to see him and we were going to see the show together and watch John do his thing. And then John mentioned to me, he called me up, I think it was on Thursday or something and said, hey, we're writing a sketch, would you want to be in it?

And I thought, if I get paid, no, I didn't. I said, sure. And what was nice about it was I always liked whenever I can close a circle or in this sort of cosmic way. It was a sketch called Five Timers Club and it's basically anytime someone's hosted the show their fifth time, they're welcomed into the club. Long time ago, I think this was 1989, maybe 1990, when I was a writer at SNL, they did the sketch for the first time.

Someone thought of it and they were welcoming Tom Hankson to the Five Timers Club. And I'm just a writer at the show, a skinny kid in his 20s. I remember Jim Downey, I think, said, well, there should be a doorman who opens the door and lets people into the club. Conan, why don't you do that? And so there's this footage you can probably see online of the very first Five Timer sketch from whatever it is, 90 or, you know. I saw that.

Was that the first time you were on camera? No, I had done other things, but this was a big one just because Steve Martin's in the sketch and Elliot Gould's in the sketch and Paul Simon's in the sketch. And my job was just to open the door and I think Tom Hanks unnecessarily says a fake name for me. He says, oh, hello, Sean. Like there was no reason for me to have a name. But I think he just said, oh, hello, Sean.

And then I put a smoking jacket on him. I remember having a little trouble with the smoking jacket for a second and having a heart attack. Something probably nobody else remembered. Yeah. Yeah. I remember seeing this live. Yeah.

I watched that when it happened. And did you look at the guy who was opening the door who worked at the Five Timers Club named Sean and think that guy looks like he's got what it takes? No, I thought that guy will someday be the bane of my existence. A lot of people thought that and they were right. So anyway, I did that and it was kind of just a nice moment, you know, of all the moments in my life. That was just a nice little moment that I had.

So then John Mulaney very kindly said, oh, it'd be kind of cool if Conan was in this Five Timer sketch and came by and he gave us the reason when they asked me, what are you doing here? I said, I'm here to sign up for Peacock. That was great. That was great. And then, you know, Sir John wrote this nice thing and I thought, well, this is okay. This will be fun.

So I came back to NBC and I hadn't been there in a long time and it was just lovely because all these cameramen, I mean, Blay, you can jump in here because Aaron Blair, you worked with me at Saturday and not at Saturday Night Live. You worked with me at late night, which was on the ninth. We were on the ninth floor and SNL was on the eighth floor and their offices are on the 17th floor. I'm just going to start naming what's on. Oh yeah, keep telling us.

Then there's an insurance company on the fifth floor and you walk in from the front door. Our studio, of course, on the sixth floor. No, anyway, yeah, it's Floors with Conan O'Brien. Now, on the 43rd floor, it's interesting. There's a Bitcoin company now, but anyway, you work there, Blay, and so there are all these people that have worked at 30 Rock Forever and so you go there and people are just coming off of, it's nice, have you ever seen the movie Sunset Boulevard?

There's a scene where Nora Desmond, the aging silent film star goes back to the studio and she goes back to the film studio and she hasn't been there in a long time and she walks in and all these people up in the cameras and holding the lights go, Nora, Nora, it's me and she goes, oh Giuseppe, and then another guy will go like, Ms. Desmond, good to see you. It's Tommy, hello there, Tommy, that's how it felt a little bit. I was a very old silent film star who went back, but it was really very meaningful and sweet because some of the people that worked on my late night show are there, Tina Ryan,

who did, worked in Wardrobe. She came and found me and started, she was crying and I practically started crying, although I didn't because I don't have a soul, but we had a really nice connection and so many people came out and said hi and I absolutely loved it. And then to boot, I get to, I don't take it for granted, but anytime I get to hang out because you really do have to hang out there for a while. If you're doing it, you have to do it at dress, you have to do it at air, so who am I hanging out with, Tina Fey, Steve Martin, Candice Bergen was in the sketch and Elliot Gould

and Paul Rudd who, it's one of those things where you'd love to be able to say, you know the way you think Paul Rudd is a nice guy, well let me tell you and then you, he is, there is not a nicer human being in the world than Paul Rudd and he's really funny obviously and great, so I was just having the time of my life hanging out with these guys. You mentioned the podcast. Oh yeah. I know. That was really.

Disparagingly. You're burying the lead. Disparagingly, yeah. Yeah. Well, they had this great set up line which was, you know, I basically say, John Mulaney, this is a very special thing why I host, you know, I was on TV for whatever, 30 years and I can, you know, I think I'm bragging or somewhat about how I've been on TV for 30 years and then he says, or for decades and then he says, well what do you do now?

And I just went, I have a podcast. And getting to just hang out with such, you know, I mean these are, it's funny because people assume that because I've been doing this a long time that I wouldn't get phased by people but I'm always going to be a little intimidated by a Steve Martin and frankly also a Tina Fey. I think she's absolutely brilliant and every time I'm around Tina I'm like, I'm on my best behavior because I, you know, she's one of the best of all time. And I just, so anyway, that was all great but it was really funny as I make that kind

of joke about, yeah, I'm just doing a podcast, big deal, haha. And the crowd really laughs and then I'm walking, when the sketch is over and the band's playing, you have to walk through the crowd to get back to your dressing room and people in the crowd started shouting, Katakai, Katakai. And I was turning around and yeah, it was so funny because I've just been like, I just have a podcast. And then I'm walking through that crowd and those chairs are on the floor and a guy goes Katakai and then someone else goes Katakai and then someone else was like, it's God

made here. And I'm like, man. Oh my God. Yeah, this is great. And then they, yeah, so that was, I mean, and then I of course, I went to the after party and talked to Lauren Michaels for a really long time, which was, he's the reason anybody knows me at all, he put me, he plucked me from pretty much complete obscurity and put me in this impossible position.

So that was anytime I, you know, I get to pass, cross pass with him and sit there and have a drink and talk is really a big deal for me. And then, and also getting to talk to that cast and those writers, they're super talented. And so it just was kind of emotional, you know, to, to get to go back and have that connection and also just see what good hands that show is in. I mean, they're, they're very, very, man, they're talented writers and incredibly talented performers. So anyway, that was a treat.

That's very cool. Now let's get back to what floor, what things happened on. No. As I said, NBC News, third floor. Yeah, exactly. And a lot of people don't know, but the legal counsel for Nike shoes. Now that is on the 55th floor, but it's on the North side, not the South. When we redid the offices and half of our offices moved to AIDS, half of our offices

were shared with the tax department. Guess what? If I've ever heard of a chunk that can get cut, it's, this is a very special episode. I love how I got super, about as emotional as I can get about going back to Saturday night live and saying such sweet things and having a real moment. And then immediately we veer into, Hey, remember when we shared offices with the tax department? Anyway, a big huge thank you to everyone at SNL and John Malini especially, but, but everyone else who made me so feel so welcome and they were so sweet and, and so thank you all.

Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian and Matt Gorely, produced by me, Matt Gorely, executive produced by Adam Sacks, Joanna Solotarov and Jeff Ross at Team Coco and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Year Wolf, theme song by the White Stripes, incidental music by Jimmy Vivino, take it away Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples, engineering by Will Beckton, additional production support by Mars Melnick, talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple podcasts and you might find your review read

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