Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Lani with an Ā

Episode Date: May 30, 2024

Conan talks to Lani in Nashville about working as a tour manager and how he would convince a child not to fear him. Wanna get a chance to talk to Conan? Submit here: teamcoco.com/apply ...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com slash call Conan. Okay, let's get started. Hi, Lainey. Lainey, how are you? I'm great. How are you doing? Doing really well. So let's set up the story here because this is a little unusual.
Starting point is 00:00:20 A lot of people sort of cold call in and we talk to them. You, I need to disclose the truth, I was chatting with backstage Beacon Theater, is that correct? Yes, sir. Okay, why don't you set the stage of, what was the event? Do you remember the event?
Starting point is 00:00:36 Because I do so many events. I do so much for so many people. Oh, God. What was the event? Love Rocks. Yes, Love Rocks. They had an amazing band for Love Rocks. It's a great charity where they feed people
Starting point is 00:00:51 who are in need in Los Angeles, who have, and give them nutritious meals. I think people who are being hospitalized or in some kind of treatment, it's a great thing. They get really good people to come out and do it. I couldn't believe the talent that Love Rocks got out there at the Beacon Theater. It was insane. It was a surreal group of people. It was really cool.
Starting point is 00:01:12 And so you and I are chatting backstage, and I think you were saying you're a fan, and I can't remember, I think I said, well, you know, you should call into the show sometime. Did I say it like that? I cheated, for sure. I was, I think I was standing in there just like a babbling idiot just nonverbal. I went fully
Starting point is 00:01:29 nonverbal and then Rebecca from Larkin Poe was like stopped you as you were trying to leave and told told you that I was a gross fan of yours. What does gross fan mean? Because I didn't think I didn't think I didn't hear the term gross fan. Is that did she say gross fan? she might have said like aggressive or Intense but well, let me all the same. Let me reveal something to you this is all a trick just to get your Information so that we can check on you because your intensity of your fanhood was such that we thought, we need to get eyes on you. A welfare check? A welfare check.
Starting point is 00:02:06 No, not a welfare check. Well, I mean, if she's that big a fan of you, I'm a little worried about it. You're concerned for her. You're concerned for her employability in the world. Uh, no, I just think, you know, we have law officers watching, so this whole thing's being monitored. Just want you to know that right now.
Starting point is 00:02:22 Where are you right now? Do you live in New York City? No, sir. I'm in Nashville. I love the no, sir. Yes, I'm in the military. You live in Nashville. And so do you work with Lark & Poe?
Starting point is 00:02:36 Because they're fantastic. They're very talented. Yes, I work with them and a couple other touring camps. Okay. So you're with Lark & Poe and they actually tried to convince me to bring my guitar out on stage and just wing it with them. Oh, wow. Oh, you should have.
Starting point is 00:02:51 And I was telling them, I'm too scared to wing it with Lark and Poe, or pretty much anybody. I'd need to, I'd need, I'd want a day of rehearsal because I'm a comedian who pretends sometimes to play an instrument. Just let it go, man. No, that's not a good idea. Oh, what's the worst that could happen?
Starting point is 00:03:07 Oh, I'll show it to you. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, Larkin Poe banished from show business. Larkin Poe records plummeting. Larkin Poe's back catalog destroyed. Oh, man. Larkin splits with Poe. Yeah, Poe won't speak to Larkin. Larkin won't speak to Poe. Conrad Bryan destroys Larkin and Poe. Larkin and Poe is now a law firm. Wait, a successful law firm. It turns out this is the best thing they ever did.
Starting point is 00:03:41 There you go. Now they're back in the music business. Because they sued you. Funded by their law firm, yeah. thing they ever did. There you go. Now they're back in the music business. Because they sued you. Funded by their law firm. Yeah. Look what you did. What a roller coaster that was. That was a crazy ride.
Starting point is 00:03:51 I should have gone out there. Yes. So when did you get addicted to, I wouldn't say addicted to, but you became a fan through the podcast? Or through so many? Oh, yes. Jesus.
Starting point is 00:04:02 Yeah. I'm sorry, she's clearly obsessed. Oh. And's clearly obsessed. Oh. And it's dangerous. Well, through the podcast, that means you like me and Gorley too, right? Oh, might be a little bit more so than Gormez.
Starting point is 00:04:13 Oh! Ah! Ba da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da. You can go. So I'll just show myself out. Well, I say that sensitively, because isn't that the point of the podcast? Kind of, yeah. No, it's true.
Starting point is 00:04:29 People like to see me inflate myself, float to the ceiling, and then these two... Like, you had a piñata. You bash me with sticks. You're so good at setting it up. You're a master at self-deflation. Perpetual self-deflation. You brought her on to this show. Yes, I brought you on to deflate me.
Starting point is 00:04:50 But wait, tell us about your life. So you are with these different, you work with several bands and you hit the road with them, is that right? Yes, sir. Mm-hmm. I travel with them. It depends on which camp I'm in, but I usually just take care of instruments. Any groups I'd know besides Larkin Poe?
Starting point is 00:05:06 Mm-hmm. Reba McIntyre. Oh my God. Maren Morris. Wait, what was the last one? Maren Morris. Oh, wow. Jesus, this is legit. How did you, you seem very young. How did you get into this?
Starting point is 00:05:17 This is a good gig. It's, I'm very lucky. It's very cool. I'm 25, yes. And I started when I was 21, 22 with Terry Clark. Her tour manager at the time was a friend of mine and he just needed somebody to fill in on a weekend tuning guitars. I was like, I can do that. And then it kind of grew from there. Now, when you tune a guitar, this I know, there's a little device now that goes on the neck of the guitar. So you can tune it pretty quickly, right?
Starting point is 00:05:49 Is it just that the musicians are too lazy to do it for themselves? Is that what's going on here? I think it's a matter of cleaner transitions and making sure that the guitar stays in tune because they're subject to the elements outside, humidity, wind, heat, all of that. No, no. I think Reeb is lazy, I think Larkin and Power are lazy, and Terry Clark's lazy.
Starting point is 00:06:12 I mean, I think it would be very humbling and good for their fans to see them occasionally stop and tune their guitar in front of everybody. It shows them that they're down in the muck with the rest of us. Do you tune yours? Oh, they still see that. Hey, why can't... Here's my question. You didn't answer. that they're down in the muck with the rest of us. Do you tune yours? Oh, they still see that. Hey, why can't, here's my question.
Starting point is 00:06:28 You didn't answer. Please, here's my question. You didn't answer the question. I have nine, I have six people tuning my guitar, one for each string. I have a guy for the low E and the high E. Two different guys, two different E guys? Yeah, two different E guys.
Starting point is 00:06:42 I'm not gonna let my low E guy mess with my high E guy. I keep them in separate rooms. I have six people, each dedicated to one string. You got a truss rod guy? Oh yeah. That's another guy. Yeah. I got a pit guard guy.
Starting point is 00:06:57 I've got, I mean, yeah. What's that? What'd you say to me? Capo guy? Listen. How dare you jump in, Eduardo? Honestly, that was out of line. Eduardo, we were having a really good time. And then you jump in me? Capo guy. Listen, how dare you jump in at one. Honestly, that was out of line. That was out of line. Eduardo, we were having a really good time.
Starting point is 00:07:07 And then you jump in with your capo bit, which by the way, he tries every time and it's never appropriate. Capo thing again. It's crazy. He's always going, what about the capo? And I'm like, I'm trying to talk to Francis Ford Coppola about Megalopolis and you keep saying capo.
Starting point is 00:07:19 Oh, sorry. How do you? Do you still have skills at your tech? Oh, you know about skills? Yes. Yeah, I got to meet him at Beacon Theater. I meant to connect with him, but it didn't work out. What'd you think of skills?
Starting point is 00:07:31 Oh, he's awesome. And yeah. Oh, that wasn't skills then? He's really cool. We- No, I'm kidding. Skill- We were able to get along a lot.
Starting point is 00:07:38 And a chill. Skills has been with me since we did our big tour in 2010. 2010? And his job every night is I would open the show and do this song that would turn into a dance and then I would throw my Stratocaster up in the air and he would catch it and he caught it every night.
Starting point is 00:07:58 It was absolutely. Were you worried? No, no, I could always get another guy. It's the Stratocaster. I was worried about the strats. I mean, I think always get another guy. It's the Stratocaster. BOTH LAUGH I was worried about the strats. I mean, the strats are hard to find, but yeah. I just looked at skills and I thought, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:08:11 He'll probably be okay. He should probably wear a helmet. But, um, no, he's great. He's terrific. And, uh, he takes really good care of me. Sometimes my guitar is perfectly fine, and he'll say, let me take that guitar and give it a little refresh for you. And then I don't see it for a couple of months. That's my one complaint with skills. Sometimes my guitar is perfectly fine and he'll say let me take that guitar and Give it a little refresh for you, and then I don't see it for a couple of months. That's my one complaint the skills And I'm gonna have to talk to him about it personally, but I like airing it here on the air first
Starting point is 00:08:36 Anyway, he's my guitar tech and he goes everywhere with me and he's I trust him with my life. He's a good man Yeah, we had a lot in common having very similar artists we work for. You and Rebecca Lovell. Oh, so you're saying that you also work with difficult, insane people. Is that what you're saying? I would say more so chaotic than anything else. Kind of unpredictable. Yes. I am a chaos agent.
Starting point is 00:08:58 Yes. I think I'm unpredictable. I'm a catalyst for joy, I believe. Oh, well. Well, anyway, let's just keep moving. I give and I give, but I never receive. Anyway, how do you spell your name, your first name? L-A-N-I.
Starting point is 00:09:15 So it's just, do you say Lanny or Laney? Laney. Laney, okay, that's a cool name. Where's the E? Yeah, that's a good question. She doesn't need it. Does this look like a girl who needs an E? I'm just here. I'm not really sure. How many people say Lani?
Starting point is 00:09:32 Right? A lot. More than you think. Because it doesn't... You should put a line over the A so people know that it's like the true A. Yes, you know that flat line they do that means it's the long? Yeah, Lani. Because that would also give you kind of a cool name, you know, cachet.
Starting point is 00:09:46 You're just a one-named Lanny. Just change your name. Yeah. How about Barbara? Gertrude. I actually like Lanny a lot. Lanny is a great name. So you're in charge of all the instruments.
Starting point is 00:10:00 Have you ever lost an instrument? Has an instrument ever gone missing on your watch? On my watch, no, but the artist has forgotten their instrument at home and realized when we got to the gig. That has happened. Why did Reba do that? But... What play time?
Starting point is 00:10:19 Reba would never. Reba did, it was Reba, I know it was. It was the one night Reba was gonna play the tuba. She's like, and now, folks, my tuba. Wait, where the hell? Sorry, that's my Reba impression. It's awful. Got a little hillbilly-ish.
Starting point is 00:10:34 It's really bad. Everyone loves Reba. Everyone does love Reba. I wish I had a sitcom. I'll get one. It's going to be called Conan. I just thought of it. Yeah, what's the premise?
Starting point is 00:10:46 The premise is exactly like Reba. I have red hair and I'm living with my family and I don't know. They're a handful. You had a show named Conan. Oh, right. I forgot. No, I mean a sitcom. Okay, yeah. But is it gonna be Conan, the sitcom?
Starting point is 00:11:02 No. No one calls a sitcom the sitcom. Yeah, what would your sitcom be called? Just Conan. Yeah. But that's confusing. Because you had a show named Conan for 11 years on TBS. So how would people know if they're watching the talk show or the sitcom?
Starting point is 00:11:16 The Conan family. Oh. And then I play all the different characters. Greenlit. So bad. What a bad idea. That's a great idea. I come home, honey, I'm home. And then you cut to the top of the stairs and it's me,
Starting point is 00:11:28 just as my wife. Oh, Conan, you're so handsome. I thought it was gonna be you come home and say, honey, I'm home, and there's just never anyone there. It's just empty. Always empty, they never existed. And there are 30 minutes of you just walking around the house talking to yourself. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:45 Doing bits. That might fly. Greenlit. Lainey, are you regretting that you called? Yeah. I mean. Not at all. This is the highest form of entertainment for me.
Starting point is 00:11:55 Wow. We've got to get you outside. Touch grass, yeah. Here's my question. Nashville, very cool. Man, that town's blowing up. I mean, I was there, what, like 15 years ago, and then I came back and they were two different places. The two times I've, there's a long window between when I've played Nashville and it was two completely different places. It's like Atlantic City. It I've played Nashville and it was come to completely different places It's like Atlantic City. It's overgrown. Is it overgrown terrible? Yeah. Okay. Did you grow up in Nashville? I did not I grew up in st. Louis, Missouri. Okay, so you're kind of an interloper too You're kind of the problem. I'm saying yeah
Starting point is 00:12:39 I would say I'm the epicenter of the destruction That's kind of what I was trying to get to. The beginning of the downfall. I think the beginning of the downfall was you misrepresenting the pronunciation of your name in the spelling. Sure, sure. It is spelled incorrectly. Then you move to Nashville and say, I can't believe all these people moved to Nashville.
Starting point is 00:13:00 When, hello. Well, I brought them. Yeah. You came in a giant... a giant mothership with hundreds of thousands of people. Um, well, what's the plan? Okay, and now I'm gonna sound like your dad. What's the long-term plan here? That is, that's tough to decipher
Starting point is 00:13:20 when you're in the middle of touring because you love it so much and you don't necessarily want to leave but Growth is inevitable or you'd hope and so I think end goal would be working in sort of a production management role So still touring but in in a higher bracket and also kind of less Hands-on I'd guess I'm talking first of all, you're 25 and you are a very impressive person. I think I didn't take you seriously because you said you were a fan.
Starting point is 00:13:52 But first of all, I would say the fact that you love what you do and you're doing it successfully at 25 is all you have to know. The next step, at the risk of being sincere, the next step will become obvious to you, but to be 25 and be doing what you love is magical. That's magical. And so you I don't worry about. I think the next step will become obvious to you
Starting point is 00:14:20 by the doing of it, don't you think? Yes, well, thank you. Yeah, I'm just really enjoying saying yes to opportunities that come my way and seeing what comes from them, like this, for example. I'd be like, if I didn't have that job, I wouldn't be able to be talking to you right now. Well, I think it was really- You mean Sona and Matt.
Starting point is 00:14:37 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, was it Larkin or Poe who really made this happen? Funny enough, they're actually not Larkin and Poe who really made this happen? Um, funny enough, they're actually not Larkin and Poe. It's actually the name of, I think, fourth great grandfather of theirs. And, oh, what a cool name. Descendant of Edgar Allen. And so they just run with that. But Rebecca and Megan are the two girls and Rebecca is the one who stopped you and yelled at me to write down my name because I was nonverbal and couldn't
Starting point is 00:15:06 collect myself. Yeah, that's right. She was yelling at you, write down your name, write down your name, give it to Conan. I thought it was very strange. It was a very strange encounter. Yeah, it worked. Yeah, I know, look what happened. We got to meet Lainey and have a nice conversation.
Starting point is 00:15:20 But maybe now, Lainey, maybe I should go out on tour as a musical act. What do you think? Absolutely, yes. And then you should bring I should go out on tour as a musical act. What do you think? Absolutely, yes. And then you should bring me in skills, and we'll have a great time. Or maybe we lose skills. Oh! Well, I'm just saying, what does he bring to the table?
Starting point is 00:15:33 Well, what are we gonna do if you go? I can't do anything. I mean, Matt, you play guitar. I can't do anything. You know, I'm terrible with music. Oh, but you're very, your singing is very good. Why don't you show Lainey what you can do? Go ahead. I'm a terrible singer. Sing The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow. It's really good. The sun will come out tomorrow.
Starting point is 00:15:52 Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow. There's a sweetness to that. Fuck you. No, I'm being serious. You know what? You know what? Her fuck you was more in tune than her sun will come out tomorrow. Her fuck you was perfect. Were you being genuine will come out tomorrow. Her fuck you was perfect.
Starting point is 00:16:06 Were you being genuine? I was being genuine, but I retracted. Yeah, that is. No, no, there was- I thought you were doing a thing. You know what? No, no, no. There was an innocence to it,
Starting point is 00:16:14 like someone discovering their voice for the first time. It's cause the song is like that, but I can't sing. Sing a Cher song. Yeah. Oh, do you, yeah, you love Cher. Can we hear a Cher song. Yeah. Oh, yeah, you love Cher. Can we hear a Cher song? They say our love won't pay the rent
Starting point is 00:16:29 before it's earned, our money's all been spent. Okay. Lainey, help me. What the fuck? I'm not Disney. In her defense, I think she has, she might have more experience saying fuck you than singing. Yes! True. Sing fuck you than singing. Yes!
Starting point is 00:16:45 That's true. Sing fuck you. Fuck you. Oh my God. Wow. You could shatter a glass with that. I'm a callous. She's like, fuck you.
Starting point is 00:16:53 She hits this impossible note and all the glasses in the neighborhood shatter. Fuck you. Fuck you. Shhh. Yeah, suddenly you're signed up for the Metropolitan. It's okay. Okay. I know that about myself, it's fine.
Starting point is 00:17:07 You know yourself and that's your greatest quality. That's right, but I'm saying if you go on a musical tour, what do we do? Can you just pay me to do nothing? I do that now. That's true. Lainey, before we go, tell us a little bit about your everyday life. Give us a sense of who you are. All we've talked to is the. Lainey, before we go, tell us a little bit about your everyday life.
Starting point is 00:17:25 Give us a sense of who you are. All we've talked to is the working Lainey, who's yes sir, no sir, three bags full sir. What do you do for fun? When I'm home, my routine is usually take care of my dog, work out, find some way to form income that day. Good Lord. Yeah, very exciting. Okay.
Starting point is 00:17:52 No, this is just full. Any criminal would say the same thing. Find some way to create income. Let's just cut that. Steal that, sell it. I noticed you got a stack of wallets behind you. Yeah, I know. But I play guitar, I like to hike, I likeets behind you. Yeah, I know.
Starting point is 00:18:07 I play guitar, I like to hike, I like to be active as much as I can. I like to go to shows in town. Lainey, as you can tell, and you probably noticed when I came past the Larkin Po dressing room that I'm a workout fiend as well. Pause, pause, pause, pause. Anyway, what's your workout regimen? Me, I like weights, I like my cardio.
Starting point is 00:18:26 Pause. Pause. What do you like to do? What do you lift, bro? I usually, I put on a weighted vest. Like you've talked about recently that Liza's done. I'll walk about four mile loop. Yeah, my wife wears a weighted vest.
Starting point is 00:18:43 I also wear a weighted vest. My marital responsibilities! Ugh. We all waited for the punchline. Yeah, it was gonna go three different ways. That was one of them. There was nine different ways. I was gonna say the two of us were your weighted vest.
Starting point is 00:19:00 No, no, that goes around my neck. Oh. That's called the lodestone. Um... Oh. That sounds like it should get checked out. I know it does. Hey, lodestone's not a bad name for a band. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:12 Ladies and gentlemen, lodestone. And so is that what you're gonna tour as? I don't know yet. I'm thinking about... I'd like to go out on the road. I really would. And you know what? I think I would trust you.
Starting point is 00:19:23 I would trust you to run things on the road with skills, okay? Would skills be upset if I put you... I would put skills beneath you. I would put you in... You'd be in charge of skills. You're asking if you think he'd be upset? Yeah. Now, skills, I should point out, is 79 years old. And you were 25. But still, I mean...
Starting point is 00:19:43 Well, skills is much more competent. Interesting. I'm gonna leave that alone. And then doesn't just, what is he... Well, skills is much more competent. Interesting. I'm going to leave that alone. And then doesn't just tell you that he's looking for forms of income when that was the most awkward way she could have said that. It's so true. That's true. That was really weird the way you say it.
Starting point is 00:19:55 No, I won't put down skills anymore because I love him too much and he's great. He's the best. But I'm glad we met. Now, can I just ask you about this meeting? Was I normal during the meeting or was I, you can say. Well, I'm actually really glad you asked because the point I met you at, you were pretty, I think, stressed in that moment. You had a lot thrown at you from there all of a sudden giving you more tasks to do on
Starting point is 00:20:22 stage and things to say. And I thought that was really cool to see, you know, the humanity of it and the humility of it of you just being vulnerable and saying, this is a lot. And it's more than what I thought I was getting into and more than I asked for, so. You mean he was being a diva? It was really cool.
Starting point is 00:20:36 Yeah. No, no, no, I was... Um... Oh! No! Maria Callas. I wouldn't go there. No, you know what I remember is it was like a lot of things
Starting point is 00:20:46 where you show up and you're told you're gonna do one thing and then suddenly it keeps multiplying. And what happens is anybody, you just get a... It's fear. It's just fear. It's like, oh shit, I didn't know I was gonna do that. What if that doesn't go well? Like I had that one song I knew I was gonna do up front and then introduce the show, start the show. But then when there's more than that,'t go well. Like I had that one song I knew I was gonna do up front and then introduce the show, start the show.
Starting point is 00:21:07 But then when there's more than that, there's fear and that never goes away. I'm always waiting for that to go away. And then I realized, Jesus, if it hasn't gone away now, that it's never going away. You probably see that. But that's cool, like all the time. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:21:24 It was really a gift to see you to see that, like because that fear still gives you drive and it's a reason to keep doing what you're doing. It was just cool, the whole celebrities, they're just like us thing to see that somebody you look up to isn't too different. Some of them are not like us. There's some soulless bastards out there.
Starting point is 00:21:38 I found that out too. Yeah. We'll do the names on the next podcast. Yeah. Just give the names, but we all know we all know who we're talking about Jason Bateman Come on Jason knows I'm kidding Was very nice talking to you and finally getting the word out on Jason Bateman Yeah, it's time take thememan. Yeah, at times.
Starting point is 00:22:05 Take him down. Yeah. No, ask anyone. Ask Will Arnett, he'll tell you. Monster. Monster posing as a man. It was lovely talking to you. I hope our paths cross again.
Starting point is 00:22:16 Next time you see me backstage, I will say this. If it's before I've gone on, I will be nervous. Someone a long time ago told me if you're not nervous before you go on something's wrong. So I think that's true. That's really cool. I think that's the good news and the bad news about this business. But very cool talking to you. I think show business and music is in good hands if you're out there. Seriously. Thank you. Next time. I do have a question if that's appropriate. Oh yeah, of course. In a little bit of context that isn't exactly kind. I grew up kind of hating you, I guess.
Starting point is 00:22:48 And then- Oh, I love the way this is going. In which I had your son on, Matt would enjoy. Go on. And then around, well in college, my best friend introduced me to the podcast and I absolutely fell in love with it. And so I was telling my mom about it
Starting point is 00:23:00 and I was saying, why did I hate him? Like, what's going on? Like, why didn't I never think he was funny funny and she said that when I was a small child like toddler age you would come on the screen and terrify me and I would scream anytime I saw your hair so you didn't like me because as a child, my hair, I frightened you when you were in a formative stage. You were very, you were too young and you were frightened by the weird Muppet on TV. That's what I've been told, yes.
Starting point is 00:23:35 And I guess that grew and I didn't never, I never questioned it. That's a great question. Like when, oh, okay. That's not a question at all. I'm following the question. The question would be, what tactics would you use to convince a child who is afraid of you to not be afraid? Well, that's really creepy.
Starting point is 00:23:53 That's creepy on so many levels. I have some candy little trials. I'm thinking about it now. Yes. Get in my van. You like vans? Here's a red balloon. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:24:02 You know what I've always noticed? I'll answer this seriously, even though this is an invitation to be arrested. Um, I just did this last night because I was over at Sona's house, and she has twins who are almost three. What I've always done is, with little kids, is because I'm 6'4",
Starting point is 00:24:21 and then, uh, my features and my hair can be frightening, actually to people of all ages, I get down on the floor and get lower than them. And animals and kids chill when you're smaller than they are. So I just get on the floor, and I got on the floor of Mikey and Charlie's room, and you weren't there, and they both immediately just start, like, kind of jumping on me and bashing me,
Starting point is 00:24:48 but laughing and having a good time, because I'm now smaller than they are. You're on their level. I'm beneath their level, and I'm beneath them, and they knew I was always beneath them. So, um, that's, I guess, my tactic. I apologize for that being creepy. I was unintentional.
Starting point is 00:25:03 No, no, no. No, but I like how it started with I, for most of my life, hated you. And then there was a medium where I couldn't see you but could hear you. But from a toddler's perspective, you can be scary. Because you also do like close-up shots of your face a lot.
Starting point is 00:25:18 You dance around. And if I'm a little toddler, I'd be like, oh my god. What is happening with this guy? Yeah, he's very needy, something's wrong with him. Oh, I don't know. Well, I appreciate the honesty of the question and I hope you can go back and review the best of some of my early work
Starting point is 00:25:32 and maybe reevaluate it. Oh, I have an eye door, it's great. Oh, there, oh yay! And I realize what I've been missing. I realize what I was missing, yes. Oh, she's my favorite now. Yeah. Okay, well, Lainey, we're gonna jump off, but really nice to talk to you again.
Starting point is 00:25:47 I'm glad this worked out. My best to the ladies of Larkin Poe. And thank you so much for calling in. This is cool. Well, thank you. I really appreciate it. It was great meeting up with you. All right.
Starting point is 00:26:00 Take care, Lainey. Bye-bye. Thanks. Conan O'Brien needs a friend. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Nick Leal, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf.
Starting point is 00:26:16 Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering by Eduardo Perez, additional production support by Mars Melnick, talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Battista, and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read
Starting point is 00:26:41 on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded. This has been a Team Coco production in association with Interwolf.

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