Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Lars Ulrich

Episode Date: April 24, 2023

Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich feels psyched about being Conan O’Brien’s friend. Lars sits down with Conan to discuss Metallica’s 11th studio album 72 Seasons, playing every continent on Earth (including Antarctica), and the synchronicity of drumming and tennis. Plus, Conan takes the recent baseball rules change as an opportunity to issue his own improvements on America’s favorite pastime.

Hey everyone, my name is Lars Ulrich, and I feel psyched about being Conan O'Brien's friend. You know what? I'll take it. Fall is here, hear the yell, back to school, ring the bell, brand new shoes, walking blues, climb the fence, books and pens, I can tell that we aren't gonna be friends. I can tell that we aren't gonna be friends. I can tell that we aren't gonna be friends. Hey everyone, my name is Lars Ulrich, and I feel psyched about being Conan O'Brien's

friend. Okay, so I shouldn't think, right? Would you start talking? Yeah. You guys get mad when I think. No, no. I didn't do that. Try to make it good.

I was inhaling. Okay. I wasn't snoring. Like, I was bored. Here we go. I think that's good. Corn cob. Why do you say corn cob so much?

Cheddar cheese. Let's go. Lumbar support. Nothing means anything. This is all going in. No, no. It's going in. Three, two.

Hey there. Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend podcast that gives and gives and never stops. Gives and gives what? I don't know. Okay. And it does stop. Plasma. Yeah.

It stops. There's like a runtime and then it stops. You're right. Okay. Terrible. I'm starting again. Let's stay in though. Yeah.

Yeah. I want it out. I command it. Okay. We'll listen to you. Three, two. Hey there. Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend.

Yeah. We know we already heard this. No. You didn't. You cut out the other stuff. So this is a fresh start to a podcast, a professional opening, and you edited. As I asked you to. Sona, how are you?

I'm all right. I'm not bad. Okay. Great. Great. It's so awkward when you answer that. It's true. Because also we've been sitting in this room for a long time.

Ask me how I'm doing. How are you doing? I'm doing great. Thanks. Not awkward at all. Gourly, how are you? I'm doing pretty good. Well, I don't understand.

Maybe it's because for 28 years, I would say good evening, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the show. I'd say things that were kind of phony like that. I know. I'm used to it. I'm not. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back with more fun.

I used to do that. I used to say things like that every night. No one says things like that. It's a very weird job. Well, because you were throwing to commercial and you were coming back from commercial. Thanks for reminding me. So you had to say those things. Okay.

But there's also, yeah, like we've been in this room together for a while talking. So when you're like, how are you doing? It's like, well, we covered that like two hours ago. We have chatter when we first come in the room and we talk to each other as human beings and then we start the show. Yeah. So you come in and berate us. You don't even say hi and then we do this.

Yeah. Yeah. When we laugh before, when it's not recorded, then you and Adam both are just like, you know, stop. Well, because. Start recording. Because a wasted laugh, I think the greatest crime in the universe, you know, it tops the murder of an angel.

When there's a good hearty laugh and it's not recorded, it's like if a tree falls in the forest and no one sees it, did it fall? I think if a laugh happens off mic, it's nothing. It's not even a laugh. But what about a shared chuckle among friends? No. That's even a Richard. No.

What about when you're at like dinner with your friends and you guys are chuckling? Are you like. I'm like everything. Oh. Yeah. Oh, you might get it. No, if I go to. That's the funny part.

Yeah. Oh, hearty. You're like, hey guys, let me get the equipment. You have a duffel bag. No, you'd like to see me get my equipment. I don't tell you that much right now. No. If I'm going to have, whenever I'm having dinner with like a Marty Short or a Bill Hader

or any of these really funny people are John Mulaney. I say to Eduardo, I'm going to dinner with some funny people. Bring your stuff. And Eduardo makes it. You get to go. It's been fun. Come on. He doesn't get to eat.

Where is he sitting? He's under the table. Working the equipment. Yeah. You don't even throw him some scraps or anything. I tried that once, but it turns out he has a nut allergy. Oh, no. Yeah, I didn't know.

I just shoved some peanuts down there and then I heard someone's lungs give out. Wait, why isn't he under the table while we record here? Eduardo, get under the table. There's a certain fit. Yeah, there's certain union rules that we must follow. But when I'm out to dinner, I can get away with moida. So, you know, I do feel that way. I do feel that before, if there's a lot of laughing and joking around and the laughs

are just bouncing around the room and they're not being recorded, it's like sacred blood of the gods seeping into the soil. No, I want that saved. Now, is that for the posterity of humankind? Or is it because you want to know that there are more people out there feeding off you? Second one. Second one. Yeah, giving you somehow an energy out there in the world laughing.

The minute you said, is it for posterity and the goodness of, I knew it was going to be the second one? I was just like, whatever the second one is, it's that one. You want people to think you're funny? Yes. Bingo. Oh, my God. Really?

And I want to capture those laughs. I want to capture those laughs. I think it's good to turn the mics on right away. And, Sonia, you come in some days and you just start babbling right away. I do. And then you're laughing and you've only got so many. You've only got so many laughs in you in a day and we've got to capture them all on the mic.

She's the greatest laugher. She's a great laugher, but she's only got so many. No, I don't. I can laugh forever. That's true. No. This has medically proven. Oh.

Yeah. Yeah. How old are you now? 40. Yeah. 39. True story. Yeah.

Oh, man. Men have like six. So I just, like, even if something's funny to me, I just don't laugh. Laughs require a lot of calcium and we lose calcium over time. I've studied this extensively. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah.

Right now, you just lost three vertebrae. Oh, man. That was precious. That was precious. Three vertebrae. Yeah. Oh, look, she's collapsing. I can't shot her.

Oh, no. Your left hip just shattered. Come on. No, don't do that. It's true story. Okay. If you say it's true, then it's true. Yeah.

All you have to do is say true story. If I was a lawyer, that's what I'd do. When my client said something, I'd just be in my true story. Case closed. True story. I object your honor. The opposing council keeps yelling true story every time his client says something. I wish I was a lawyer.

Do you? No, you don't. Well, I would, because I would do all that stuff. I think I'd be very funny in the courtroom. I think I'd be very, very funny in the courtroom. But not effective as a lawyer. Oh, terrible lawyer. Oh, okay.

I think clients would go to the electric chair left and right, and they wouldn't be up for capital crimes. You know, they'd be like jaywalking, electric chair. But I would have so much fun saying, I object your honor, and then jumping into the witness box and then jumping out, doing all that stuff. I would love doing that. Yeah. What do you think you would have done if you weren't doing comedy?

I think I'd been murdered a long time ago. Okay. Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know what I would have been doing. I don't know.

What would you be doing? I don't know what I've been doing. Contemplating it made my mouth fall apart. I do not know. It's a very good question. I think he'd be an insufferable history teacher. Yes. Yeah.

Really? Yeah. Why insufferable? No, I think he'd be a good one. He'd be doing good the whole time. No, I think he'd be a good one. He'd come in with his glasses upside down, going, did you hear what happened to the battle of Hastings?

Yeah. Let's not get Hastings now. No, I think I would take your class. Of course you would. All the ladies would want to take my class. What? I'd probably be like, who's that dreamy professor? Okay.

All right. I guess. Would you write love you on your eyelids like Indiana Jones's? God, you are so obsessed with Harrison Ford and Indiana Jones. I can't go over it. So anybody listening would not know that because we talked about it off mic. You're okay. See?

And why didn't you put that on mic? You know? Well, anytime you work Harrison Ford into more conversations. He's great. Yeah. He's great. I wish he was my history teacher. I know.

I think I would be a great history teacher. We stop talking about you. Okay. Let's talk more about you. Okay. Let me ask you this quickly. Well, I don't even know what we're talking about anymore, but I know that you are completely fixated on Harrison Ford.

Would you rather have him on the podcast or someone who played James Bond? Because I know that like Indiana Jones versus James Bond. What if I said Daniel Craig's outside, but Harrison Ford's also outside, but only one can come in. I knew you were going to ask this. Yes. Double team. Yeah.

They were in a movie together. They're promoting it decades later. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. I think I would take Love James Bond, but you've got Indiana Jones and Han Solo there. Yeah. You would let them London bridge you.

I mean, are you kidding? She's not wrong. Can you explain what that is for the listeners? What am I doing? You know, my dad occasionally listens to this podcast. Sonia, would you explain what that meant? I just think people should Google it. No, I think you should explain.

Well, it's also called an Eiffel Tower for people. God, you're learning. How many cities have you had weird sex with? So wait, so what is it? It's one from the back, one from the front, and they're high-fiving each other. I see. Yeah. You are bridging and they are the apparatus or the Eiffel Tower and they're high-fiving.

So Harrison Ford and Daniel Craig are doing Matt Gorley from both ends and they're high-fiving each other and that's called an Eiffel Tower and the London Bridge. Because they're high-fiving. Yeah. Okay. I know. I understand. I understand.

This is the way it has to happen. This is the only way it can happen. Then I'm in. And by in, I mean they're in. They're in. They're in. All right. I'm glad we established that.

I didn't know where we were going with today's conversation, but I'm very satisfied with where we ended up. Well, which ones do in the bridge and which ones do in the tunnel? You know what I mean? Like, who am I facing? Harrison Ford. Yeah. And then Daniel Craig's back there.

Yeah. And then they're high-fiving. I just want to make sure that visually. I have to say, Sonan, who had all those years you were my assistant, you had an encyclopedic knowledge of all these insane crass sexual positions and you knew all the insane names for them. And they were things like, it's Superman with an eyepatch. Yeah.

You know, it's California potato chip. The stop making me explain these things. There's kids probably who aren't listening to learn a little something about this. What's a California potato chip? It's when you do, in the morning, you peel it off and you make them eat it. Oh, I know that as a drive back. Okay. This I want to, there needs to be a sensor here.

Yeah, there is. His name is Adam Sacks. Adam, why are you allowing this to happen? He's in the corner and he's saying this isn't going. He's taking notes. You have to cut all of this off. I don't think. I think I need to go home now.

Okay. Can I just ask one more question? Why is it got to be California? That's a good question. I don't know the answer to that. Why is a Cleveland steamer from Cleveland? Okay. You are the filthiest person I ever met, Sona.

You know all of this stuff. Why is a rusty trombone some guy named Rusty? Yeah, you always come in and say, oh man, you know, I got up with a donkey punch and I'd be like, what are you talking about? Well, you have your knowledge of the Civil War, you know, James Bond and I know, you know, I know that stuff. I know about the rusty trombone and that stuff. Well, you have the power to stop this at any time you want to read that intro.

You're making it go. Yeah. Okay. Make it stop. I can't believe we had this filthy talk just before introducing one of Rock's most vicious heavy metal drummers. She's probably a gassed backstage. I like to say backstage.

Oh my goodness. They're talking about the California potato chip. I'm a horrified. Now I've got to get back to Metallica. I'm so shocked. We never talked this way in Metallica. All right. My guest today is the drummer and co-founder of the legendary heavy metal band Metallica.

He's won nine Grammys. That's nine more than me with the band and has been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame more than I have. Now Metallica just released its 11th studio album, 11 more than me, 72 Seasons. And they're headed out on their M72 World Tour. I am thrilled he's here today. Lars Ulrich, welcome. Not too long ago, I'm backstage at a Jack White show and there you are and you're just there

as a fan and I'm there as a fan and we got to chat a little bit. It was just cool to see you out enjoying music. Before Jack White is playing, if I'm in the same vicinity, I'm always there. I love Jack, have loved him. Obviously, going back to the White Striped days, I think he personifies that edgy rock and roll that's becoming less of a big thing these days. He's in the studio. He makes records impulsively and it just oozes a lot of the same elements of danger and impulsivity

and not quite knowing. One of my favorite things about him is that he never has a set list. He just makes it up as he goes along. And so I'm always watching and he's doing this song and then song and then he'll yell back at the other guys in the band and now we're going to do this and then it's. Yeah, they have to be on their toes. They really have to be on their toes. They don't know what he's going to do.

And a word that comes to mind that a lot of my favorite artists embody this word, restless. And so it was just nice to be backstage and there was a lot of cool people backstage. We live up in San Francisco, obviously, as you know. And when we come down to LA, it's always, oh my God, look at these backstage. They're so-and-so and they're so-and-so. It's always fun to run into other creative people down here. Jack is really one of my maybe top five all-time musicians. I love him and whether he's doing his own stuff, whether he's doing the rack and tours,

whether he's obviously back in the day with the white stripes or whatever, he's just such a great artist, unpredictable artist, always interesting to see where he goes, is so inspiring. And on top of that, he's a really nice guy. He is a nice guy. He welcomes you. You know, we're in Nashville, you know, a couple of years ago, you go to his house and there's a bowling alley and you're hanging out and hey, did you want to jam in the back in the studio?

I mean, it's very abrasive and I love that kind of energy. Yeah, but also, some of it sounds desperate to me, I'll be honest with you, Lars. Some of it, you know, it sounds like Jack doesn't have enough to do. And Jack, if you're listening and he's a friend, leave Lars alone, you know? I think one night is fine, but then let's do this, let's do that. Let's get sad, you know? I'll tell you, I know what you're saying, but I'm going to get a text from Jack about this.

We can text him right now. How soon did he call you after you gave him his number? Well, I'll tell you what, and Jack, if you're hearing this, you know, I love you and nothing but love, but for a guy who supposedly doesn't have a phone, you know, he's a pretty engaged textor, you know, so I'm not really quite sure how that works out, whether it's his wife's phone or whether, you know, it's just got a computer, you know, that he texts from, whatever. Also, he's so pro, vinyl, vinyl, vinyl.

He's got the, every time I go to his house, all he does is play CDs. That's all he does. And I'll go like, hey, can we check out that vinyl record? And he's like, no, I'm not going to listen to that shit. He said, if you want real quality CDs, and then he's like, more blue oyster cult, soon mp3. Wow. You know, that's enough time for Jack.

This is about you, man, and we are thrilled that you're here. I have to say the first thing I wanted to mention is I believe you and I are the same age, born the same year. 63. I'm 77. No, I was born in 1963. Yeah, me too. So we're both the same age and you're about to start this tour.

We've got this new album, 72 Seasons, and I've been listening to this one track, this one track, Lux Eterna on it, which doesn't just track, and I'm thinking these guys have not lost a step. Well, thank you. But I mean, this could have been 1981. Here it is all these years later. You're headed out on this massive tour that's going to last two years. And if someone told me I was going out for two weeks on a tour right now, I would find

the nearest chair and beat them with it, run over to Jack's house. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I would hide under all his CDs. I don't know how, how do you, I mean, at this point in your life, the physicality, the amount of determination it takes, it just blows my mind. Easy answer is that it doesn't get any easier whatsoever. And as I've been explaining this in the last week or two as I've started hearing myself through interviews again about this, around this new project, it takes twice the effort or more just to reach the same level, just to plateau.

So it's not, you know, I'm on the peloton an hour and a half a day and I'm working out and I'm watching what I'm eating and I'm being healthy and all that to get better. It's just to stay the same at this age. But you know, I take it seriously, all of us in our own ways take it seriously. All of us have different routines, our own unique ways of approaching it and the main thing is that when we get up on that stage, we want to be there for the other guys and the band and obviously for the audience and be the best we can be. I do find myself often at a sort of crossroads in my mind where I eat the same shit for breakfast

every day. I eat the same shit for lunch every day, more or less the same thing for dinner every day. I'm very, very routine based and I really like to be in that routine. But as soon as I'm out of that routine, I need my tofu for dinner and I need my protein and I need this and that and then I kind of sit there and go, really, you can't just go to a restaurant with your friends and have like what's on the menu. You got to be that rigid.

If you could sit here with your 22 year old and go, really, that's what you've become. So it's like it's a constant, it's a constant battle between those two approaches. But somebody said a couple of weeks ago when I was explaining these new lifestyle choices as we call them, he said, it sounds like it feels good to feel good and I like that. I still occasionally drink it, but it's like once a month now and I eat my protein and my yogurt and my egg whites and my tofu. You know, you're describing the rock and roll dream. That's right.

This is the funny thing. This is where you're going to end up if you want to keep doing this. There are so many kids, there are so many kids since like 1981 that it'd be like, I want to be James Hetfield, I want to be Lars Ulrich, you know, that's my dream. And to find out later on that it's, well, okay, you've got to want egg whites. Nine hours of sleep a night, hydrate, avoid the sun, check your stool every day to make sure there's no corn in there, just, but you know, it's the way life goes, you know, the best.

This is my favorite analogy for life and aging and it's not funny, but it's very profound and it's something that I think about a lot is that when you're born, you're dropped into a fast current. And so you don't even have to do anything and you just start growing taller, you start getting muscle, you start, you know, everything and then the current starts to slow down in your late 20s, early 30s and then 40 and then the current kind of stands still. So in order to make any progress, you need to kind of, but then the current starts moving against you so that in order to just stay in the same place, you need to start doing

butterfly strokes and working hard and what you're describing makes sense, which is what we were just doing in Norway, shooting this, this TV project, I did the same thing as you. I was my weight and I was working out, I was, I was eating right and everything just so I could run around and be the jackass that I was 25 years ago, doing nothing. And you know what, I mean, as, as, as easy it is to make fun of and then we can sit here and blah, blah, blah, but I, I like, when I'm up on stage and I feel strong and I'm in that moment and the four of us are connecting and we're connecting with an audience, whatever the size is, all of it's worth it.

Who would have thought, you know, coming up on 41 years later that Metallica would still be functioning, would still be relevant enough to be, you know, sitting here with you guys. Thank you very much. You're welcome. Still be, you know, going out there, going out there and playing, you know, a two-year tour. You cleared a high bar of lards. Going out there and playing a two-year tour and putting records out that still connect

with people. And, you know, even in the wake of something like Strangers Things last summer, reaching more and more people, who the fuck would have thought that? And who would have again thought, you know, if you take it a step further and say, you know, McCartney just turned 80, he's still out there, Jack is doing all those sexy bum wiggles better than he's ever done and connected. But he's doing it against his own. He can't stop.

You know, now it's involuntary. No, but it was always that way. It's a spasm. Yeah. It was always that way. But, I mean, it's certainly, it's inspiring and I think that as long as the shoulders and the necks and their knees and the backs and all of it, if they keep functioning on the four Metallica guys, we'll keep doing this hopefully for another 20 years, egg whites

and tofu included, you know, you know, I wanted to just to speak to the just the incredible endurance of your of your fan base and how loyal they are and how it just it grew and grew and grew. And then they've always been with you and they followed you the whole way. I mean, your shows, the number of people that you played to, you played one show in Russia to 1.6 million people. I believe it was a free show. And I think that was a mistake.

Well, I think it was, I don't know if the money at that time was worth anything, but it was right in the wake of the perestroika. Yeah. Transitional beautiful thing. I mean, it was it's always negotiated between, I think it was a Gorbachev, maybe Yeltsin was coming into power at the time and it was negotiated between the students and the people running the uprisings and the demonstrations and the government in that period of transition. That part of what they wanted, the students wanted was a rock and roll show.

And so ACDZ and Metallica won tour in Western Europe that whole summer and two, three weeks before the end of the tour, they want you to come to Russia and play at that time. I mean, this is just a couple of years after Reagan, you know, Bush senior was president and it was still the evil Russians and all of that stuff and they're going to drop nuclear bombs on you next week. And I mean, there was all that crazy, crazy stuff. So going to Russia was like, holy shit, here we are, here we are in the Red Square, here we are, running around seeing the sights and the Kremlin and then we were there for maybe

three days and then played that insane show. We weren't really prepared for what that was going to be. And if you go to YouTube now, it is among the most surreal and extraordinary footage of Metallica ever because like you're saying, it is Metallica and whether it's a million people a million and a half, who knows what the real number is, but there are tens of thousands of Russian soldiers in uniform that are supposed to be protecting the audience and they're as into the show and rocking along as all the kids are. There are Sikorsky helicopters flying right over the audience, I don't know if it's scare

tactic or they're keeping people, whatever it is, but these giant Sikorsky helicopters hovering right over the audience, it looked like people could just reach out and touch them. And it is, it's a real mind fuck of a concert to watch, I guess, 30 years later. So if anybody out there listening, check it out on YouTube. No, to me, it's the power of, and I'm going to want to talk about how I love your origin story is so amazing and your fans all know it, but I want to make sure my fans know your origin story because it is absolutely incredible.

But to think that it started out, two guys fighting each other, putting ads in the paper. A cycler. Yeah. And then what happens is you end up getting, you can unify all these people in Russia at a very delicate time and we could really use that today, obviously, but getting 1.6 million people to come to a concert, and I think a lot of them were chaining around. They know the lyrics, they know the words, they know the syncopation of all the songs and it's because...

And it was all from bootleg tapes because there was no record industry in the Eastern Europe at the time. But the unifying power of that, the unifying power of, you know, any kind of art form, but especially the music of Metallica just worldwide is a very positive thing, you know. It's pretty incredible. Let me tell you another version of that that comes to mind. First is we've played down in Abu Dhabi in Dubai a couple, two, three times. And great, great place to come and play, primarily because the fans come in from Iran.

They come in from Iraq, they come in from Saudi, they come in from Kuwait, they come in from Lebanon, they come in from Bahrain, they come in from Syria, they come in from all over the Middle East. And you're playing to 30, 40,000 kids, we've done it two, three times, and they all bring their flags, their national flags. The Iranians and the Iraqis and the Saudis and everybody else are sharing an experience together. Right.

You know, we've played in India, we've played in, you know, places like Indonesia, Malaysia... You played Antarctica, didn't you? We played Antarctica, yes. There was a... And then there was a polar bear attack at one point. One year, it was by chance, it was not something that we set down. Well, in two years from now, let's check all the seven continent boxes. It wasn't like that.

We were playing somewhere, we were playing somewhere else, we were playing, and then we were five or six into it and somebody said, well, hang on a second, if we're going to do this, then let's do it. And we got an offer from, I think it was Coca-Cola. They were doing a contest for Latin America and they invited us to come down and play for contest winners on a Chilean research base in Antarctica. And so we flew down, talk about different, bring different nationalities together. We were on a Russian icebreaker on a Chilean, anchored off a Chilean research base playing

to Argentinian, Chilean and Brazilian Coca-Cola contest winners in a space that was maybe twice of the room we're in. Right. In a small room, yeah. It was a tent that was set up and on top of that, everybody in the audience had headphones on like we all do now because it was silent disco style because part of the deal was we couldn't disturb the environment and the penguins and all the incredible wildlife down there. So the only thing you could hear in that tent were the drums, were the acoustic drums and

James's vocals, but all the amplifier, everything that was amplified, the guitars, the bass, et cetera, were all going through these sort of boxes into everybody's headphones. So you put all those elements together and that was one of the most unique three or four days ever and on top of it, the band members and all our wonderful crew and all the contest winners were staying on that icebreaker together. So it was a real communal experience and we all had our meals together and if anybody wanted a beverage or post-show drink or whatever, we'd go down the bar and it was the 200 contest winners.

It was one of the best trips we've ever had. And then one guy asked for a Pepsi and he was thrown overboard. I want to get to your origin story, but first I wanted to, this is a little unusual, but I brought a friend of mine in who I've worked with for many years. He's a brilliant writer on the show and he's helped us out, Matt, right over there. Hi. I'm not usually here. No, no, no.

Matt and I don't get along, but I invited him in. That's why we're here. Matt and Brian. No, no, no, no, no, it's all right. It'll come out. Don't worry. But Matt, all, we've known each other since, for how long? Since 2009?

2007. 2007. Okay. It feels like 2009. But anyway, we've known each other since 2007. Every day he comes in, he wants to talk to me about Metallica. Every single day. And he plays me, he tells me what you're up to and I appreciate it because I'm a fan

as well. But I feel like I should apologize. It's been great. It's been great to not break common ground at Conan for almost 20 years. No, no, no. It's been, but, man, you were in New York and you found out that Lars is going to be here today and you- Yeah.

I couldn't miss it. Wolves couldn't miss it. All kidding aside. Thank you very much. Thanks for being here. Thanks for coming out. How many shows have you been to? 62.

Yeah. Oh, wow. What was your first one? Atlanta 93. Do you remember him? Lakewood. Lakewood Amphitheater. Lakewood Amphitheater.

Wait a minute. How did you- Wow. Wait a minute. How did you know that? Lakewood Amphitheater. Yeah. If we go around a room and you say Atlanta, you say Louisville and you say whatever, Dallas

Houston, I can pretty quickly identify the venue, remember the shows and remember the tours and stuff. Yeah. The children's names. Let me try one on you. We can help you with that. Antarctica. Yeah.

Yeah. Antarctica was December 13. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. It's this weird- People are very generous.

They call it encyclopedia-like. And I often play along on that tangent. I do feel increasingly that if you put me, James, and Kirk together in the same room, we can pretty much as three of us make a whole. And we can remember all of it 100%. But I remember all the dates. So if you say, where were you in February, oh, eight, I can go. We were right there.

We played there. We played this venue. But Atlanta, I mean, has always been great in Lakewood and the Omni. Yeah. The Omni, which is not there anymore. Right. But what's amazing about the fact that you remember, every city had an amphitheater that looked kind of the same, which was just that rake with a lawn in the back.

So the fact that you remember specifically that it was called Lake, because they must all look the same from the stage a little bit. Yeah. It was a lot easier back in the day, because 20, 30 years ago, when we came up, sort of the 80s and 90s, all the venues, whether they were called the SIEMs, auditoriums, or arenas, or the amphitheaters, they all had geographical, primarily geographical names. So if you were in Phoenix, it was the Phoenix Municipal Auditorium. And if you were in Atlanta, it was Lakewood, or it was the Omni, or it was attached to

the CNN Center, or whatever. Now when you go to all these places, every one of them is called the FedEx building. Yes. Or the state farm insurance thing. And so you can't kind of keep track, because the naming rights of those change every couple, three, five years. So you're sitting there going, did I play this before? Yeah.

Yeah. The bank bought them. Yeah. And so I saw you at the Depend Center in Orlando, and you're just, damn it, why did they buy it? Astro Gliderina. God knows. We've played all of them.

Actually, we played to the Continents thing one year on the Justice Tour in 88, 89. We were 46 or 47 states into it. And we realized, should we go for 50? It depends on what the other ones are. What were they? What were the remaining ones? So there was no arena, or at least at that time, there was no arena in Delaware. And there was no arena in Vermont.

So in Vermont, we played a high school gymnasium, and in Delaware, we played a club, maybe a stone balloon or something, I think it was called, and so we ended up playing all 50 of the state because at that time, hitting Honolulu and hitting Anchorage was a fairly regular stop. Sullivan Arena up in Anchorage and the NBC Arena in Honolulu were regular parts of the Jerusalem. I was that Bill Lyman was famously the bass player for the Rolling Stones for a good chunk of their run.

And he was the encyclopedia at the time of that story. He had an encyclopedic knowledge, but of a specific thing. Everyone would think like, oh, my God, you were there. You were there for all these seminal moments, and you were in this amazing rock band, and you went through this incredible time. And apparently, when you read through his diaries, it's all, we played this venue. Here's how much we got paid. Here's how much I put in this much for the cab I took home, and then I charged this much

for the dry cleaning. Then we paid, you know, and you're like, yeah, I've heard that story too. And it's over in like hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of pages. And you think, how about, was there a moment where Jagger irritated you or should you not have been an accountant? Or even better, was there a moment where you guys really connected as a rock and roll band to an audience? Well, what does that have to do with how much money I got paid and how much money the cab

cost? No, but his, yeah, his accountant was thrilled with him. You know, I just wanted to mention quickly for people, your career touches on a philosophy and a theory that I've had for a long time that I've been thinking about, and I bring it up a lot on this program, and I've brought it up a lot in different speeches I've given, which is this theory I have that it's your failure to be what you think you're supposed to be, that often leads you to the thing you're really supposed to be. And no one demonstrates that better than you, Lars, because you come from this incredible

tennis playing family, and you're born in Denmark, and that's the plan. And you're playing tennis, and you're working your way up through the system, and then you end up, you come to the States to play tennis, and it isn't quite working out for you. It's not happening, and the next thing you know, you come to Newport Beach, and it really doesn't happen, and you decide, all right, since I was like nine or 10, I've been obsessed with this kind of music that I've been hearing. And it is, we'd call it New Wave, British Heavy Metal. New Wave or British Heavy Metal was a specific thing that came out of the sort of the, you

know, Matt, right? Sure. It came out of the, the 32nd version is that a lot of the big bands, you know, whether it was, you know, Led Zeppelin, or Deep Purple, or the Yeses of the World, or the Genesis of the World, all these bands, as they pink floored, as they went on and on, there was a, not necessarily my perception, but to a lot of people they became larger than life and sort of lost touch with, with, you know, the streets and where they came from. And so the 32nd version is, Punk kind of grew out of that as a response to, I can learn

how to play three chords, and I want to be in a band, I don't have to write 20 minute epics and do all that kind of stuff. And so Punk Rock was sort of born as a, as a contrary musical force to rebellion. And then the New Wave or British Heavy Metal sort of came out. That was the hard rock version of the Punk movement with, you know, all the bands were doing it themselves, putting out their own EPs and singles and their own tapes and playing all the local clubs and kind of, you know, bringing it up themselves, Punk Rock styles. And the bands that came out of that were Iron Maiden, Def Leppard, Saxon, Tigers of Pantang,

Angel Witch, Diamond Head, I think you know all of them. But when I started hearing Diamond Head and the Tigers of Pantang and two degree bands like Iron Maiden and so on, it was like, I can do that. And so when I came to, I spent a year at Nick Boleteris Tennis Academy in Sarasota, Bradenton, the first year and ran screaming out of there back to Denmark. And then we ended up then in Newport Beach, I was going to go to Coral de Mar High School, which was one of the highest ranked tennis high schools in the country. And six months later in February, as the tryouts were for the tennis team, I was ranked on

the top 10 in my age groups in Denmark. I wasn't one of the seven best tennis players going to Coral de Mar High School. I didn't make fucking tennis 10. So that sort of, that sort of, what are my other options? That's just screwed up my Friday afternoon plans. And so I went back to the house and dove deeper into my Diamond Head and my Iron Maiden records and, you know, got a drum kit together and said, you know what, let's try this rock and roll thing and then place the ad in the recycler.

So this is the thing, you place an ad in the recycler saying, this is specifically the kind of music I want to play. The only thing is that no one in the States at that time really knows that music. You are unusual because you're this agent that's come over from Europe. You're familiar with it, but you alone sort of know about this. You put this ad in the, and then at the same time, this guy says he's looking for a drummer that plays a similar kind of music, little different because he also mentions Aerosmith, but it's James Hetfield.

Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. The keyword, you set the word alone. Yeah. Even when I think back to that time, it was a very lonely time, you know, I would walk into Coral de Mar High School and listen, I was an average student. I wasn't like a complete misfit or fuck up or whatever, but I was a loner.

I was an average student and I would walk in with my Iron Maiden t-shirts and my Saxon t-shirts and they would all sort of look at me. They weren't like bullying me. They weren't, there was nothing like weird, weird, but I was just a loner and an outcast. And you know, if you talk to heavy metal, if you talk to others about heavy metal at the time, you know, it was, oh, you know, Kansas or Arjo Speedwagon or Styx or Van Halen or whatever, no disrespect to any of them, but the stuff that we were, that was turning us on and inspiring us was quite a bit edgier than that.

And so when James and I connected, I got a chance to play him a lot of the, you know, this music, these singles, he, like you said, came a little bit more from the Aerosmith and, you know, maybe said Nugent, Leonard Skinner and so on, but it was big in America at the time. But instantly he had heard of Iron Maiden, he knew Judas Priest and the Scorpions. And when we put our collective music, you know, music libraries together, it gelled really quickly and off we went. There's something, I don't want to get too geeky about this, but one thing I should

tell you is that I was always fascinated by drumming. The syncopation, the time changes, it's so exacting that sometimes I wonder like, how are you doing that? How are you doing that without some, you know, it is, I mean, you guys turn on a dime, it stops, starts and this is really on you, changes time and I see the way you look at James Hetfield and he's looking at you and you guys are, it's constantly modulating, changing, I kind of don't understand how that happens. I just don't understand how you can do that and each song has its own signature and has

its own arrangement and there's not sheet music, there's not anyone there, you know what I mean? So that would make, if there was sheet music, it would make it harder to play. You guys need a conductor, that's what you need. Tap, tap, tap, tap, all right, let's begin gentlemen. It used to be really funny, like comical back in the days, we used to work very closely with this company called Cherry Lane, I believe they were called and they, you know, back in the day would do, you know, before YouTube's and all these things, you know, if you wanted

to look at the sheet music for these records that everybody was putting out and people wanted to play along, you would, Cherry Lane would come in after you'd finished your record and then they would transcribe your music and then they would put it out. Back in the day, you know, it's like the guys in Cherry Lane don't understand what happens in this song from there to there, can you help them and we're like, absolutely no chance in hell we can help, well not because we didn't want to but just we didn't know. You don't know what you did. We don't know how to articulate what, we just do it, it's something that becomes instinctive,

I don't know, intuition, I don't know, primal, whatever words you want to put to it. And then, you know, you kind of sit there six months later, these Cherry Lane books out there and everybody's like, and then some, you meet some dude, you know, backstage or he says, you know, in the shortest straw, I don't know if that was transcribed correctly and we're setting them down. You have to answer for that. We are the last people on this planet that will know if that was transcribed properly or not but we just kind of come up with it.

I mean, obviously, you know, some of the stuff back in the day was a little nuttier. Now we really like, you know, the feel and creating songs that have moods and swagger and bounce and, you know, pockets as we called it, like rhythmic pockets. Some of the earlier songs like, I don't know, like a song like One or if we play a song like Injustice For All. Fire with Fire. Fire with Fire. Yeah, that's, whoa.

You know, some of that stuff, you really have to sort of be very in the moment still. But if you start drifting, it happened to me, it doesn't happen very often, thankfully. Knock on wood. That's not wood. But this is wood. High density polymer. This is wood. Okay.

But there was a time in, where were we in? Oh, you know where you were. It was last year. Yeah. We were in the Cape Arena. We were in... We were in Schittberg, Missouri. We were in Belo Horizonte last, just about a year ago in Brazil.

And my mind started drifting for a couple of like three, five songs. I had one of those out-of-body experiences where I was sitting up on stage. There's 50, 60,000 crazy, cool, in it, Brazilians with us. My three bandmates there. And I had 15 minutes of like, why are all these people looking at me? Why am I on stage? What does all this mean, where you just sit there and go like, okay, don't think like this.

Just what's the next part? And fucking just find somebody down in the front row and do this and get in the moment. Being blinded by a spotlight and it's like, yeah, like a 15 minute freak out over. Doesn't happen very often, but it still does. And I guess the good part of that is that it reiterates the fact that you're human. I think that happens to all of us. I was, you know, I had so many drum questions I wanted to ask, but they're... Please.

Well, I mean, just the... What is a drum? Well, you just took my first question while we're getting all metaphysical here. Let's get... But I mean, I just... what you've done with the bass drum, the bass pedals and just the footwork that's... Thank you. I mean, I can't understand how people can do that.

I don't understand how anyone can do that, but I... I think that, you know, like we talked about staying in shape, I do believe that somewhere in there is a correlation to growing up around tennis because tennis is... If you're going to break it down into one word that really echoes into drumming, I'd say it's the word balance. What I'll say is, and it's the highest compliment I can pay, is that I always know it's you. I think if you went and cut an album with Ario Speedwagon and no one knew it, I'd wonder... And I didn't know anything and I just heard it.

I'd say, why is Lars playing with Ario Speedwagon? And I think... Why isn't Lars playing with Speedwagon? Yeah, why isn't? That's what they're asking. But to me, the ultimate goal of any person with an instrument is to make it uniquely their own. And you've done that.

Thank you. That means a lot. My... I shouldn't, because I'm not a... I'm a comedian. Yeah. Remember who you're talking to, Lars. You know who this is.

At this point... At this point... This means nothing to me. It's what you should have said. You compliment every guest's drumming ability, no matter whether they're a player or not. At this point in my life, I take all the compliments. And I say that semi-jokingly, but back in the day, you know, when I was 20 or 30, I never slowed down long enough to take the compliments in.

So I'm sure everybody can relate to a version. We're all just in such a hurry. Yeah. So I just want to make sure I mention, 72 Seasons is the new album. Yes. And how many albums has this been? This is 11, right? I'm not the one to ask.

I think that is the one to ask. That is the one to ask. Trust me. I would know. It's somewhere because it gets... I've been your manager for several years. Which is much appreciated, but it gets into all that stuff about, you know, does the live albums count, do the cover albums count, you know?

Does your phony phone calls album count? Exactly. But... Metallica and the Jerky Boys? Oh, I want it. But you know, somewhere around 11 or 12, give or take, it's not 20 or 30. And you're starting a two-year tour, M72 tour. And Matt, I want to go to a show with you, because I was like, no, I've really been asking

since 2007. I know, but you always ask when there's work to be done. Well, now that things are winding down, I can finally... Oh, I wonder where they were. They're winding down? No one told me. No, I don't know. You said there was always work to be done.

I think we're doing a couple nights at SoFi. So a couple nights at SoFi, I think. Well, it's a two-night commitment, Conan, because it's a different set each night. And of course, of course, the band's going to want me to come out for a set with my acoustic guitar. For sure. Let there be no question about that. And now you playing Georgia Satellites with Metallica.

I got to changing my body. If you ever want to have the opposite reaction, just for fun, just say, hey, hey, hey, everybody, Conan O'Brien is going to come out now. We're going to interrupt the show, and he's bringing his acoustic guitar. And then you're going to see people, as I start to play, file out. They will file out. Yeah. Now, they'll come back the next night.

We have our version of that. It's either, you know, when we need to clear the house, it's, you know, we'll do a drum solo or we, you know, whatever. There's multiple versions of that, but if you want to come out and help clear the house, the stage is yours. I am. Any time you feel that you want to get rid of the crowd quickly, let's say there's an emergency and you need the crowd out of there, I will come on stage.

And I'll sing Aqualung. Wee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee. We've had some of... You'll see... That's good. Yeah. I mean, it reminds me. I was talking to somebody.

A couple of days ago, we were talking about our history of LA, and I mean, we've had some of the best shows of our career in LA because the fans here are so passionate. And obviously, you know, going back to the KNAC days. Long Beach Arena, what are the 16,000 seats in there? We've paid for about 15,000 of those 16,000 seats over the years because every time we would play Long Beach Arena, people would just take the cushion, play Frisbee with it inside the arena

and next day would be like, okay, Metallica, here's a $300,000 worth of cushion shopping that we had to do for, you know. Wait, you have to pay for that? Oh, fuck yeah, I had to go on, James and I had to go on K and they see multiple times and go, listen, whatever, you know, you're our fans and we're your fans and we're all in this together.

We want you to have a good time and we support that, but understand one thing, when you're rebelling, if you think you're rebelling against the building or rebelling against authority or rebelling against a man or whatever the fuck it is, you think you're rebelling against, the only people you're really rebelling against is Metallica, which is fine, you know. So, but we had a similar situation a couple of years later

at LA Coliseum, I don't know if, you know, we were playing and there was, whoever had booked the LA Coliseum show, at that time, things were maybe slightly more unpredictable about sort of the physical elements of the makeup of these shows and in front of the stage, the whole lawn or the, you know, the football field at the LA Coliseum was all folding chairs. Oh, Jesus. So, I don't know if any of the six of you

would like to guess where 40,000 folding chairs ended up about, you know, three songs into the set. Yeah, that's right. All those, whatever, there was 30, 40,000 folding chairs ended up on stage. And you got them in. And so we had to stop the show as all these folding chairs were being, I mean, it was, I mean, you're talking,

you talked earlier Conan about like you couldn't script some of this shit. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you really couldn't script some of these things. No, I once did a comedy show and I didn't know that it was Laundart night. 35,000 people had a Laundart underneath their chair. I was killed.

I'm a ghost now. That's where this story goes. Anyway, I like the idea of Metallica having to stack neatly the folding chairs on the racks. Excuse us, guys. We're going to cut Creeping Death short right now. We'll be back in 30 minutes. I don't know why.

There's a meeting after this. We have to get these to them in good condition. I get a picture of an old lady talking to James Hetfield and saying, no, no, no, that's, there's still seven cushions unaccounted for. You're not going anywhere. All right. Hey, Lars, you are a busy man.

You're about to leave on a two-year tour and my offer stands. I will clear your audience. Thank you. We will take you up on that. With my version of my take on Aqualong any time you need that. But best of luck, 72 Seasons is the new album, the M72 Tour is starting.

I'm going to be there with my friend Matt. Please. And we're at the same vintage and you inspire me. What month are you born? I was born April 18th, 1963. Eight months older than I am, yeah, in December. Although on Wikipedia, I'm only 44. I have someone who just keeps putting that in.

But anyway, congratulations on your insane, crazy success and for sharing your story with us. It's amazing. Thanks for having me. Great to see all of you guys. We'll see everybody out there. We'll see you guys at SoFi. All right.

Thanks a lot, Lars. Take care. Thank you. I have a suspicion that most of our fans are hardcore sports fanatics. And I think we should talk about baseball because baseball has changed significantly this season and everybody's talking about it.

I mean, this is a game that has been around. It's been America's pastime forever, going back to the 19th century. And now they've fundamentally changed it in these fascinating ways. Well, you've come to the right two people. I know, I was like, is this a fit?

You guys have any idea what's happening? Is this a fit? No clue. Oh, wait, you know what? I heard that they did a bunch of stuff to make the game go faster. Yes, games were getting very long. And I think the average game at one point

was pushing three hours. More than three hours. More than three hours. So Eduardo, feel free to- We had that time. Feel free to weigh in, because you know about this, but one of the things is there's a pitch clock.

So you know the way you'd be watching baseball and the pitchers fidgeting and then the batter steps out of the box, but then gets back in again. You think, this is, come on, let's go. Yeah, so baseball players are like notorious for being habitual everything. And superstitious, excuse me.

So they'll reset their batting glove after every pitch. And so that's what would lead to the three hour game. But now there's a pitch clock. There's a pitch clock. They also made, there's a pitch clock. So the pitcher has to pitch by a certain time. The batter can't be stepping out of the box all the time.

It's like an automatic strike or ball if either the pitcher or the batter goes over. The other thing they did is they made the bases bigger because- How big? Are we talking like 20 feet? Well, it's so funny. It's so funny.

Then I'd watch baseball. Baseball bases. They're much larger. I think they're several inches larger, which makes a huge difference. Couple inches bigger, which encourages more stolen bases. To make the game, because we were getting into a rut

where it was either massive home runs or strikeouts. This is like what they did to the Oscars. Now I'm understanding what's happening. Yeah, exactly. But it's got me thinking they should do more. You know, like I'm thinking, and this is the thing I've always thought about, which is, and just hear me out baseball fans,

if when you hit the ball, you're up the plate, you hit the ball, you have the option, you can run to first, or you can run to third. That would be really exciting. Now check this out. Once you've committed to your base direction, that remains your base direction until, yeah,

you have to, so you have players. Now here's the cool thing. Oh, you can't just run to third and then suddenly be on third and just have one more base. Of course not. No, once you run to third, third essentially becomes first,

but adds a whole level of strategy. And I do want people to hear me out on this and consider this. This is my platform. I think it's a brilliant idea. And so you have to make a split second decision about I hit the ball, am I running to first or am I running to third?

And it changes everything. Now, here's the cool thing. If you do this, you start to get players crossing each other in the base path, okay? Do they have to high five or do they have to like acknowledge each other? No, no.

Goddamn. You don't, this is what happens. When players cross each other, you use special effects. One of them, it's not dangerous. They're wearing special suits, but when they cross each other, both catch fire briefly.

It would look so fucking cool. Okay, you had me until this point. No, they'd be like a pyrotechnic burst as they cross each other. Ka-choo-choo-choo. And it would look so cool. Can you imagine on instant replay like a burst of flame behind each of their backs?

They're fine, they're safe, but when they, just as they pass each other, people would be watching the game, hoping that players would cross each other on the base path so they'd see that burst of flame. It's like Hunger Games because she has that dress that goes on fire. Exactly.

And a lot of our Forts fans listening right now. Really trying to understand this by putting it from his perspective. Yeah, movies. Okay, all right. I don't know about the fire, but I like the idea. Okay, that might have been stupid.

The fire was... But what about it? Eduardo, what do you think? I like the idea of being able to run whichever direction you want, but then what do you do when you hit for a double, right? And you got to run a second. You'll always get it to second.

But then you can get two people out at the same time without even doing a double play. It depends how the double plays work exactly. Yeah, you just step on one base and both of them are out. No, no, no, that would have to be adjusted. And again, that's where I think the flames might help. Don't trust me, the flames are, I know it's a little theatrical, but...

A little. Oh, I'm gonna stick to it. Okay. But I know there's stuff that needs to be worked out. I'm not saying that this is automatically... Okay, done. This is interesting though, because aren't people like chosen

just because they play first base really well, but now they'd have to be good at first and essentially third? Right, but also what if then teams would know the guy at third base isn't as great. We're gonna quickly, we're gonna hit the ball and he's gonna go third, but that may end up being a mistake

depending on where the other hitters in the lineup hit. So I think we're basically going as from checkers to three-dimensional chess. I agree. I think this is great. Is it still called first, second, and third base? I mean, is it like... Oh, good question.

Oh, yeah. Third should be... No. Thirst. No, no, no. And then first... Clearly we've chosen the right committee for this. Listen.

I like this. Should just be second. Yeah, second will always be second. Yeah. But if you want, if third is thirst, then so be it. Thirst, third, and second. What's on thirst? Yeah.

What's on thirst? Third base. Third base. I just think there was a bunch of new ways to improve the game. I agree. And... Is this helping the time stuff?

No, it doesn't actually, the game's sped up now, which is good. Somebody has to put out the fire though, right? So that's gonna take time. No, no, the fire is not... Let's not be silly about the fire. Oh. The fire is not a thing to be ridiculed or...

This isn't funny. What it is, is it's just a quick pyrotechnic burst when they cross each other. And it's just gonna look very cool. No one's... What are they wearing? They have stuff on their head that's fire proof. Like, my hair caught on fire once

just by blowing out a birthday candle. So it's so easy. Sona, the amount of stuff in your hair... Come on. No, it's so... It's ridiculous. I'm just saying, it's so easy for something to catch on fire.

You practically work candle wax into your hair every morning. You don't want to talk. Oh, please. There's nothing in here. There's just some mayonnaise and some spackle. And that's it. I'm not gonna be ridiculed.

I just think a lot of people are gonna die. That would make it more exciting. Well, first of all, that would get some attention. But Eduardo, that's what I'm pitching, is we keep all the changes they've made, but when you hit the ball, you can go, you can choose your own base path. I like it.

And I would like the league to start considering my ideas. I think that baseball has taken the first step, but needs to take literally maybe nine more steps. You want to like professional wrestling put that veneer on baseball, basically. You want that treatment. I want the bats to be made of different materials

so the balls move much, much more quickly and are more lethal. And I think that's gonna be cool because then there's gonna be a real scary element again. Oh, I got it on that. And this kind of thematically goes with your bases thing. So they don't have a bat, they have a broadsword and they can hit it with the flat end like a bat

or they can hit it with a sharpen and it splits the ball in two. And so then they're headed towards you, the first or third. And you have to field both halves. Yes. And by the time they get home. But there's a little gold coin in the ball

that comes free when you cut it in half. And if an opposing player can get to that coin and swallow it, then everybody's out. Now we're talking. Is it chocolate? It's got a little chocolate in it. Oh, cool. But also for reasons I don't understand

some asbestos as well. Oh, man. Listen, I'm just baseball. I'm here. Yeah. And I am ready to talk because. You just want baseball to contact you. Yeah.

Yeah. I want the concept of baseball. I don't want to hear from major league baseball. Boring. Yeah. I want the concept of baseball to fill me. Could there be like, I don't know, robots? Are there robots in the Japanese league?

I had a robot waiter come serve me at Hofshut the other day. You know that they could do it at baseball? So yeah. They could baseball. Each team could have one robot. Okay. They're talking about having robot umpires.

Well, there should be. In two seasons. Oh. Two seasons now. But not, you're just talking about the same kind of robot that tells you when. Oh, I'm thinking small. No, no.

You're talking about the kind of robot that says the ball was over the line in tennis, which is basically just a sophisticated laser system. We want real. Beep, beep, burp, burp. Mm, yeah. It is my turn to bat. Draw it.

Suck on this. We want those kind of robots. Clank, clank, clank, clank. Did you ever play baseball? I played stickball a lot when I was a kid. Okay. So you're not coming from like a position of like. You're coming from the 20s.

I've played this and I know it needs to change. Not even little league? Yeah, you didn't play any little league? No, I tried to play little league when I was in my 30s and they, I was discouraged. I didn't play little league either. You say it like every. I thought every kid played little league baseball.

We did have a stickball. We had a wall that had a spray painted strike zone and I played stickball a lot, which I loved. And we would play it with a tennis ball. Okay. It was a lot of fun. You were a little rascal. I really was.

And I played it and yeah, I would sell newspapers that said the Hindenburg exploded and then I would go play stickball with my friends. And then it was time for all of us to go up to our tenement house and Ma would cook us some yam stew. Then we'd listen to Roosevelt on the radio. All right, that's it for now.

I'm waiting for your call, baseball. Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian and Matt Gorley produced by me, Matt Gorley, executive produced by Adam Sacks, Nick Leow and Jeff Ross at Team Cocoa and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Year Wolf. Theme song by the White Stripes.

Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples engineering by Eduardo Perez, additional production support by Mars Melnick, talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista and Britt Kahn.

You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Cocoa Hotline at 323-451-2821 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend

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