Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Liam Neeson

Episode Date: August 28, 2023

Actor Liam Neeson feels like he wants to sing, but also a bit nervous about being friends with Conan O’Brien. Liam sits down with Conan to discuss his real-life set of particular skills, working at the Guinness plant, and his personal litmus test when reading a script for the first time. Later, David Hopping gives a first-hand report from the Taylor Swift concert. For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com. This episode was recorded on 6/16/23.

My name is Lail Nelson. My name is Leslie News. Deep breath. My name is Lim Nieson. I feel like I want to sing. I feel a bit nervous about singing Arabic. My old pal, Colonel Brown. You should be nervous. I'm and Brown. You should be nervous.

I'm very excited. You should be nervous. Liam, because you know me, I've got a temper. It's going to get rough for you. You know that, don't you? You'll come for me. You'll find me. I'll.

I know. I can tell you that we are gonna be friends. I can tell that we are gonna be friends. Here we go. And three, two, one. I say done. Thank you. Hey there. Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend.

Join us always by my good pals. Son of Obsession, my assistant now for how many years? 14 and like a half. Okay. 14 and a half years. And for how many of those years, did you think you really tried? Be honest.

You want me to be honest? Yeah. Two. Okay. And of course Matt Gourley, you always give 100%. Oh, what? Of what you're capable of.

Oh, right. Yeah. About 10% of most people. Yes. Yeah. You give 100% of the 10% that you're able to get. What's your name again? My name's Kronin.

Okay. It's nice to be here all together, isn't it? It is. Yeah. Do you like it? Do you like coming in to see me and? I'm not going to lie. It's nice to like just kind of get away drive here.

Will you live in a mad house? I think it's fair to say. Why would you? No, no, I'm not putting you down. You're right. No, it isn't. Any mom who has twin to your old boys who have figured out how to make weapons. Yeah. Would probably say that it's nice to come into a podcast. Absolutely. Absolutely. Does it hurt to come into two other assholes though? It does feel like I'm going, well, are you saying my children are assholes? Wait, you just said other assholes? I can't out rock. Her kids are not assholes.

Don't you play all sanctity of stuff? No, I'm sorry, but that's not cool. No, you're right, I apologize. I am going from two toddlers to two other kind of toddlers. That's what I meant. Yeah. Two toddlers to two asshole toddlers is what I meant.

And so how's your little shit head? I'm sorry. I thought we were into putting people down people's shoulders. She is. She's in really into something called pissy water, which is just celtzer water, which she tries to call spicy water, but comes out pissy wawa. Oh, she all day is going, baby, pissy wawa, baby, pissy wawa. Right.

The service is going to hear that. Yeah. And they're going to think she has to drink her urine. Well, that's some kind of weird stuff going on at your house. To say it's good for you. Yeah. I don't think it is. Pissie water?

No, you lost the track. Oh, you're right. No, no, no, that's, I thought that I was saying, pissy water like Glenn says it, but you might piss is good for you. I'm not going to drink my piss. You're not? Let's all drink our piss right now. Sure.

Okay, I just did. And, yeah, it's fine. It's a good thing it's a podcast. There's no video. There's video on YouTube. Or wherever you enjoy your videos. See what I did there? What do you mean?

What do you mean? Room for, just in case they invent another format. I just make sure that I always cover my bases. Okay. Very smart that way. The event and there are a lot of things. I was saying stuff like this on the TV show back in the 90s. I was saying, well, you know, I hope you enjoy this either tonight or when you see it in a rerun or someday when they invent the internet. I said that in 94. Okay. There's actual tape of it that was then destroyed. Sometimes I feel like you don't even know that the internet exists now. I'm told it's amazing.

It's not. Sure, it's got its pluses and minuses. It's okay. No, I'm very happy. I like coming in here because no one wants to see me around my house. They're quite happy for me to leave. Oh yeah, that's the stage.

That's the stage. I hear a lot of, it's funny. I hear a Mexican band playing. They're quite happy for me to leave. Oh, yeah. What do they do? That's stage gone. I hear a lot of, it's funny. I hear a Mexican band playing the minute I leave. You're walking past their section. And it's weird because there's no band there. But the minute I leave and then I see catering trucks pulling up and I see lots of guests showing up and everyone looks excited.

It's that song when the Ewoks play when they beat the Death Star just that whole. Ta, ta, ta, ta. I have a question for you that you can answer. It's that song where the Ewoks play when they beat the Death Star, just that whole t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t was a little boy, he was like, I don't know, maybe he was six or seven. And I showed him those movies and it was a big deal. Then we got to the one where I remembered the Ewoks doing a dance and singing a song called like, Jub-Jub or something or a glub-blub. And I said, oh, wait, do you see this? This part, man. I said this part, I remember seeing this in a theater and this is a little rough, but take a look.

And then we got to that part and it didn't happen. What happened? Did they edit it out? In 1997, Lucas released special editions of all three original films and they added CG. And then in Jedi, they took out the song that they sang written by John William's son, which is like a disco song called Loptynek

and they replaced it with like a blues song. And then they took out that Ewok celebration song and just put in this somber, almost like funeral dirge movies. Right, so I looked like a fool because I told my son, check this out. It's really hilarious because it doesn't quite work.

Where do you see this? And then it didn't happen. What was the song? How did it go? Itcha. Gungka. Chachicha. A kom kom. Chachachicha.

Aliti. E-e-e-o-wa. Ya-chipachitu. Racha. Lichi. Fachifu. Yafnum. And then of course they've got the curtain call with old Darth Vader there dead, but then they switched it with young Hayden Christians. Yeah. You. Yeah. You want me to keep going on? Are you about to say something? No, no. I was just remembering I have to go have heart surgery. So I have to leave now. We're going to have to cut this. I did I tell you that I'm having a quadruple bypass today? No, yeah. But I haven't even got the job as follows. No, no, I'm also having both eyes removed.

And that's a whole other thing that's happening. Yeah, it's gonna put it. Can you watch OG Star Wars somewhere? Yeah, my house. That's my new house. I can come over. Does Lucas also, does he have a hit squad out trying to find people like you

who can sing the song and kill you? Cause he probably wants it all erased from people's minds. I don't think he cares anymore because he sold the whole thing. I think he's just, he's still cares. No, he's still cares. Well, good question. I don't know, but I've got those D specialized additions they're called and high death.

If the two of you want to come over, we could have a slumber party, we could giggle, we could tickle each other. You know, we could borrow them. We can borrow them. Yeah, or I could say I'm going to come by and borrow them. And just if you don't hear from me, it means I'm coming soon.

No, no, these are not physical media. These are digital. They're on a drive. So we have to watch them at my house right here. Maybe next year's children. Yeah. Yeah, we do a nine hour day. Which I can't go to.

I can't. I can't. I'm having my entire pelvis removed next year. So there won't be a children's next year. Yeah, it's being replaced a just an old wicker basket Yeah, and I got to drive him you got a drive. I got a drive And you got to drive and no speed bumps because I'll have no ass on the way Oh, I will get those little db players for the back

And that's a vast now all right take it easy. Yeah, it's been said. I don't have much of an ass Pretty much a two minute surgery Okay I don't have much of an ass. Pretty much a two minute surgery. Okay, all right. Okay, that's nice, son. I don't think people have to know just how bad it is back there. You don't think people have to even on television for like 30 years. I know, but usually my ass was covered or if the monologue that ass was facing the other way and then the desert. You were checking on one episode of the show.

So, you know. But I put stuff back there. I put two irons that you iron clothes with back there. I had these two bulbous trunks. What'd you shut the fuck up? What? You're out of control. You're out of control.

I let you sing the whole Jub-Jub Glove Glove song. You got the words wrong. I think I got them right. I'm gonna, this has to stop. This has to stop now. What we took away from this episode. Yeah. Is that by episode, you mean mental episode?

The episode I just had, where you sang the Glove Glove Jub-Jub song, then so did one on this, what, just crazy take that I have a flat ass. Which is just not true. Super hot take. Yeah. then someone on this what just crazy take that I have a flat ass which is just not true super hot take. Yeah. And super hot ass. Thank you. Big daddy. Come on. I like an ass that you can hose down and that no water stays on it. It's just immediately incredible. You know, all right. We're going to award. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's incredible. Yeah.

It splashes back. Yeah. We're gonna award. Yeah, oh, it's incredible. It splashes back. Yeah. We need to see. What are you doing? We're muttering. I'm singing the job as Paulus song, the original one that they took out.

Oh, good. Did I really wanted to hear it? Did you? Yeah. You know what? I have to move on because we have an amazing guest today. I think they can hang on. Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. Our guest has a Star Wars connection. That's right. Yes. Qui-Gon-Gin, Green lightsaber. I was gonna say that. Yeah. We were all gonnajin, green lightsaber. I was gonna say that. Yeah. We were all gonna just about to say that.

And then I remembered that I was educated. All right, here we go. My guest today has started, would you take it, he's seen my guest today, has starred in such movies as, look at this, Shindler's List, Star Wars Episode One, The Phantom Menace. I'd switch those.

And now you can see him in the new action thriller Retribution Thrill. He's here today. Liam Neeson, welcome. What skills do you have in real life? By the way, you always, you've got some of the most famous lines in action movies. I've got a particular set of skills. What skills do you have in real life? I would love to be able to say I've a skill at fly fishing. I've been flying fishing for 23, 24 years. And I'm competent. That's not as threatening to say to a kidnap

or over the phone. Now listen to me. Now listen to me, I don't have any money if that's what you're after. phone. Now listen to me. Listen to me. I don't have any money if that's what you're after. But I am a competent fly fisherman. Get some release. Would you who I will not release? Come on, remake it that way. I promise you, Pupar gonna absolutely love it. You know, it is great to see you. We've run into each other a couple of times over the years. We've talked and we always have this crazy bond. I don't know if it's a genetic thing because I don't know. I found out since I met you that

I'm a hundred percent Irish after my people have been in this country since 1875, still genetically, we just married each other and had more kids. Well, 1870, you know, sorry, the history of the planet. Yeah. 1875 was a nanosecond. Yeah, just happened. Yeah. So I do think, I don't know what it is, but I know, first time I met you, you may not

remember this, I've only been to one prize fight in my life, one boxing match. And you, I, someone took me, I'd never been to one before. And I stood up and you came over and said, oh, hello, Conan, let's go get a pint because it was in between bouts. And I thought, oh, this is fantastic. Liam Neeson is inviting me for a pint. And, uh, what was the main event? I don't remember. I thought, oh, this is fantastic. Liam Neeson is inviting me for a pint. And what was the main event? I don't remember. I mean, this is how bad I am. I don't remember.

I remember people were hitting each other. That's how I'm not, I don't follow the sport. Someone invited me. And I thought, these guys seem angry. No, no, they're supposed to be doing this. They're supposed to be hitting each other. I don't remember what it was, but we went and we got a pint together and I thought, this is living, having a pint with Liam Neeson.

This is about as cool as it gets. It was a great time. You were very nice to me. And then we've run into each other every now and then. I know my people are all from the south by the coast, and I know that you're a northern fella. I know the Northern Ireland little time called Balamina. Yeah, 30 miles north. That's the belt fast but my mother is

Born of was born in Brad waterford and the Irish Republic. Waterford by the sea. Yes, that's where we're my people are from get away Yeah, yeah, I will not get away. I am here to stay I we are from waterford and on my father's side. Yes. So you and I are related. We know that. We have to be. Yeah.

And I remembered, first time I went back to Ireland, I stopped somewhere that I was told was Waterford and I get out of the car and you know, you're supposed to say you're supposed to kiss the ground. So I thought, okay, I'll kiss the ground. And as I'm kissing the ground, someone went by and said, what are you doing? And I said, well, we're from water for them. This isn't water for it. Spitting it out. Spitting out soil. They said, it's, you know, 30 miles that way you ask. But it's, it's funny because there is something, there's something in the blood where when I meet other people who are Irish even though I've not grown up

in that country and you could say I'm not really Irish because I've, you know, third generation or fourth generation in this country, I do right away. Like every cell in my body says this is the air I'm supposed to be breathing. I like that it's raining out. Yes. Yes. Everyone. Yes. Everyone's depressed. Yes.

People aren't taking care of themselves. This is the way I'm meant to live, not in Southern California, which is a terrible, terrible message. Yeah. I find corn. I'm born and bred. Palomina. Catholic.

Boy. Because everybody always asks. Yeah. But when I came out to the States, 80, 1980, 80, 80, 80, 80, 80, 80, 80, 80, 80,ina, Catholic, because everybody always asks. But when I came out to the States, in 1898, I met an American citizen, very prone on to, and Irish citizen. But everybody I'd meet wanted to tell me they had a connection with either Ireland or Scotland. I was dying for someone to say, I'm an American. Do you know what I mean? They always wanted to make a connection. It made me think, yeah, okay, there was a million and a half, during the State of Ireland and Ireland.

1845, 1852 came out here. In coffin boats, there were no one else in coffin ships. I was like, oh, I get course. 1845. That was a nanosecond to go in. Yeah. Two seconds ago. I, I've always got embarrassed on St. Patrick's Day here in the States because people that were one 18th Irish, taint the Irish flag on their face get shit faced, throw up on Fifth Avenue,

and kiss everyone they see after throwing up. I'm all right. When did you, I reassure you my father's uncle's brothers, sisters, mothers, because your last name's Armenian. Ah, fuck you. I'm Irish. And I think we just wanted to get drunk. And then I find out that in Ireland on St. Patrick's Day,

they, people go to mass. People go to mass. No one's painting their face. No. No one's celebrating this insanity. So you raised Catholic. So we both had that because I was raised very Catholic. And did you do a, I was not an altar boy. They found out early on this kid can read and he's good at speaking.

So we'll make him a lectern, which means I'll read the passages when they need someone to read a passage. So I got a speaking part, which was kind of nice. I looked at the altar boys, and I thought, I liked that outfit. And I want that smoky thing. I wanna toss that smoky thing around. That's like a terrible, jeep, jeep.

I'm sorry, we, I'm sorry, here in America. Bearor. I'm sorry. We I'm sorry here in America next. Older boy. And here in America, we call it the smoky thing. And if you're going to be a citizen of this country, you need to learn that. So communion, the whole thing, I found communion terror. I mean, not communion confession. I found confession terrifying. I would always freeze up when I would go into the confessional

Because I wouldn't know I just I didn't want to admit to anything real and I would freeze up So I'd make things up that no kid would do I said I am I am bezel to check you and bezzled from a I still put funds in an offshore account and didn't declare it. How old you? put funds in an offshore account and didn't declare it. How old are you, some seven? LAUGHTER I coveted my neighbor's wife. What? Did you?

Not really. I just would freeze up. Did you get, did you find that frightening? I did, especially the last confection I ever went to, a facelift confectional. And I think I was, I wasn't 16, I was 15, I know, I was still boxing. And it was a great event when you had a missionary visiting

from Afrika, somewhere like that. And it'd be there for a week and you'd go to Mars every night. And as an older boy, I'd be serving the Mars to hear your confession from him. It's like a big deal. So I remember going 15 years away. And it was before Mass and there were lots of old women just outside the confessional kneeling times and their prayers. And I went into this guy and he used to be in Africa, Congo, wherever, shouting as long as I was. So we started and I had learned how to

pleasure myself at home onto the sheets, right? And I looked up the appropriate word. I remember this about a master bait, master bait. Okay, that seems harmless enough. I'll say that. Let's me find a argument with my mom. My sister and I got any fight, and I masturbated. You what? That guy literally... Oh my god! I mean, he almost said things like... The grass will reward you with a palm of your heart.

Before you're 21, stop that evil practice. He's shirting this. And I'm amazingly thinning. I have to leave this and there's all these old women, prayer and I say, who can hear everything? You can hear everything, especially him. And I laughed. And my dick, my dick was that size. It just shrinks up inside you here. That was the last time I ever wanted to get. I think that'll do it. I think that'll do it. Oh my God.

That's what was happening. And I'm all proud of myself. I haven't learned this word, you know. Well, I'm glad I never masturbated. That's all I'll say. It's so, yeah, that's so funny that the things that terrify you as a kid, and there's so much about church, especially Catholic church, that's scary. I remember once I went up and, you know, the priest went to put the communion in my mouth and it hit the side of my mouth and it fell on the ground, which is, you know, it's supposed to, through transubstantiation, it's become the body and blood of Christ.

This is the actual, you know, body and body of Christ that has now fallen on the rug and I panic, and I just pretend that I got the wafer when I didn't. So I close my mouth and I turn and I walk about halfway down and the priest says, get back here in front of everybody. I turned around and he had to walk back up and pick up this wafer off the floor. You picked it up. I picked it up. Yeah, I picked it up. Yeah. And my hand caught fire. It burned my hand. The wrath of God. And I chewed it down. But my God, I mean, God, and I chewed it down. But my God, again, some of the scariest moments of my life

happened in the Catholic Church growing up. Because the wafer you're not supposed to touch it with your teeth, it's the body and blood of Christ. I was going to ask this as a fair, like when it failed, I'm amizing the scene and slow motion. It hits the groin, you hear, oh. and fair, like when it failed, I'm amizing the scene and slow motion. Yes, it's the growing year. Oh. I heard Jesus as if he had thrown his lower back out. God, he can't say Jesus because he's Jesus.

Me. But I'm surprised the priest didn't beg it up. He, I don't think he could see. He was very old. And I think he just was, you know, and I think you are more learned in the ways of the Catholic religion than he was. I think he had just quit his job at the gas station.

But it's funny because I know that you did a Simpson's episode. I used to write for the Simpson's in another lifetime. And I know that your Simpson's episode should have very funny idea, which is, I think that you are, I believe you're convert Barton homework to Catholic. Yeah, homework. What did you do some most ridiculous?

Yeah, homework loves Catholicism because he can fast and get rid of all the senses, start over again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, one of my favorite things about writing for that character, and I think all the other Simpsons writers would agree with me is that Homer is an immediate enthusiast for anything, which is great when you're writing for someone

because it doesn't matter what the story is, he can decide. This is it. And he decides that at the beginning of almost every episode and the idea that it's now Catholicism. Yeah. Really cracks me up. Rets a very funny idea. I don't know who wrote it, but God bless them. It was a funny episode too. Yeah. It really cracks me up. Rats a very funny idea. I don't know who wrote it, but God bless them.

It was a funny episode too. Yeah, it was great. Tell me if this was a dream job or not. I know that as a young man, obviously before you had made it, you worked at the Guinness plant. There was a Guinness bottling plant in my own time, whereby the Guinness would be brought up in these huge tankers from the Guinness breweries and Dublin, to our establishment, where the Guinness would be bottled and the Guinness would then come down and crates 24 bottles. Yeah per crate and to be stacked on pallets I drew a four-year-old truck so once the pallets were filled I Would go in lift the pallet of Guinness and

It would be stored at 54 degrees Far night for 10 days and then it would be distributed to 54 degrees, far night for 10 days. And then it would be distributed to various pubs and stuff. Yeah. But it was a great job. I loved it. I would say, I mean, just hear about, well, the Forklift sounds fun, but also working in a Guinness factory, it just sounds like Willy Wonka.

You know what sounds like? It's the Irish version of Willy Wonka, but Willy Wonka just makes one kind of beer. But all the kids get to drink it. It is funny. I always laugh on him back in Ireland and I see lots of advertisements for Guinness, and I think you don't need to advertise it. Why are there ads everywhere? Hey, have you tried Guinness? Would you like some? We should try it. So we know. We know. It's the touchstone of this whole country is Guinness.

There used to be a man. I don't know if you would have called it here. I'm talking late 70s. And the ad for Guinness programs on, go to a commercial break. And the screen would just go black. And I would stay black. And you'd be wanting to go over and bang the side of the television. And as you're about to do that, you suddenly start to see these little bubbles. So what it

was, was a plaintiff Guinness, a camera slowly moving up to reveal the white head. Yeah, yeah. That was the ad. Yeah. it was brilliant. Yeah, they did show that This 30 seconds blackness was brought to you by Guinness. That was it incredible Yeah, it's funny because I know that for years I don't think they do anymore, but they they encouraged they said oh It's fine even if you're pregnant. It's it's good for the baby. It's it's good for the breast milk if you've you know I heard It's good for the breast milk. If you've, you know, uh... Iron, fellow Iron. Yeah. Yeah, my first son was born in Hollis Street. I'm a very famous maternity hospital in Dublin.

And my wife got a liver with, you know, that wasn't it. She gave birth there, or son, Michael. But she was very, very anemic. We didn't realize that. And she needed something like 12 units of blood. And I was about to start shooting Michael Collins. I had cycled back home once the baby was born and all that.

Everyone was OK. And suddenly there was this emergency. These five, six nurses apparently came in. My wife said, call my husband, please call my husband. And they're going, that's all right. Don't worry, it's all right. And it was all right. But they started giving her a bottle of Guinness every day.

I'm picturing it hanging up like an IV. No. That's what they do in Ireland. Don't worry. It's anybody they bring them in. Motorcycle accident. They put a thing of Guinness up, run an IV into your arm. I'll be all right. I just described.

Off your hands. Massive internal damage. Give him some Guinness. He's all right now. You know, we were talking just before we got started about there was an event we did because you have this great Spielberg Association, you know, because you were played Oscar Schindler in Sch Shinler's list and Oscar Shinler.

You don't remember? God, you've had too much Guinness. It was a big, this is a big moment in your career. You should remember this lead. Oh, that black and white maybe. Yeah. He couldn't afford color film. It was a weird time for him to cheap out on such an important movie.

No, such a beautiful, such a fantastic movie. And you were so brilliant in that role. And I know that they, but you and I got invited to this big Spielberg event and they sat us next to each other. You know someone thought, how will put me, we'll put me next to you. I put the Irish together. But it's a pretty heavy table we were at because I was the MC for the event. You were speaking at the event. I think Springsteen was so, at our table was Bruce Springsteen,

Patty, myself, because I'm the MC. That's how I got in. You're there, of course. And Stephen Spielberg, President Barack Obama, Chumson sits at the table, and you and I, I'll never forget, we're sitting next to each other wondering how the fuck did we get to this table?

And I don't, I don't, I don't feel that size. I know, I know, we just both naturally, everyone else at the table feels like this is the table we should be at, and you and I are there. For the two, we're both six four, but we both shrank. And we both felt like it's a mistake that we're here. I know. I still feel like that if I'm in a illustrious company.

I still feel like. What is that? Why do we, because there are people who don't feel that worthy. Yeah, exactly. Exactly, but we don't feel, we're always feel that way. Not worthy. Yeah, exactly, exactly. But we don't feel, we're always feeling that way. I'm always thinking that I came in through the back, that I, you know, I quickly got out of my waiter's uniform and put, you know, I never feel like I should be there.

I know. And he threw Anthony Hopkins, Tony Hopkins, one of the great actors. I was in a film on a 40 years ago, Tahiti, a remake of Mutiny and the Binti, Mel Gibson, Dante Lewis, extraordinary cast, and Tony was fucking magnificent as Captain Blah, yeah, Mel was fledged to Christian. But any time I run into Tony Hopkins and I saw him in Rome three weeks ago, I was finished in a film. Tony was in the same hotel and I left his room,

knocked in the door, met him, and I gave him his other big hug and I was been close to 40 years. I had seen him. I said, gone, Tony. You know what he says to me? What? He leans on me. He says, good big good lad.

I haven't been found out yet. Haven't been found out. And he means it. Yeah. Of course he means it to fucking Academy Awards. Yeah. I've seen him on stage. He's brilliant. Yeah. Yeah. But he means it. He means it. And I've talked about this before. There are people. I know Chris Rock used to say it to me when he'd come on the show. he'd lean over and go like, well, they haven't found me out yet. And it's just, and I think it's the people I like the most have that. You know, it's almost, they're not too comfortable, they think. And you don't want to be, I don't want to be. You know, I made over a hundred films.

Yeah. And sometimes I think, oh, I, on set, if someone's not going to, I think go on, say something, say fucking something Liam. You've done a hundred second movies. I've a well excuse me. Do you mind if I just say something? I think if she comes in the door first That'll solve your camera problem. Let's try it. Okay Just saying I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry and also But I don't mean it and I know humble humble. I'm so sorry. And also, but I don't mean it. No, no, I know. I know. Humble, humble, it's like, when I was, I know this for a fact, when I was 32 years old in New York City, I was with my girlfriend at the time and looking at a menu and they had a meal

that was every, just, look, they had an entree that was just perfect. Had all these different ingredients, but it had some black olives in it and I don't like black olives and she said, well you love that and I said, no, it's got black olives. I won't order that. And she said, just tell them, can you just leave the olives off? And I said, I can't do that. 33. And she said, yeah, you can. And I said, she'll hate me. What? What? She doesn't care. I mean, it took me that long to try and figure out that you're allowed to say some things. You're allowed to, now I'm a total prick

when I go to a restaurant. It's a year. Yeah, the word's out on me. You, I want this pasta with no pasta. Chegum not stirred. It's like, I bet take pasta with no pasta! Shagging not stirred. It's like I would take it further than that, come on. When my wife and I used to go with me and Natasha was a fantastic cook.

I mean, chef, I would call her chef. She'd say, no, no, I'm a cook. But if something wasn't cooked to her approval, you know, it didn't matter what it was. And she rarely did that, but I happened a few times. She'd say, no no, no, I'm sorry, the meats, I want a little bit more. I'm going to touch please, please, please, they're going to spit on it and bring it back out, please, because I really believe that would happen. No matter what the restaurant was, someone's going to spit down it because you returned it, you know, you've upset the flow.

And they're kitchen. Yeah, sure. Yeah. because you returned it, you know, you've upset the flow. And they're kitchen. Sure, yeah. I did, you know, I do remember speaking to you shortly after, not too long after she passed and you were going through a really tough time. Yeah. And not to bring that back up, but I'm glad.

That's all right. We still talk. See how I have a day. Oh yeah. It's been many years, but how many kids do you have? Two boys, nearly 27 and nearly 28 are they Best one are they big fellas like you yeah, they're 6 6 1. Yeah, yeah, tiny Irishman we got under threat of death

I said you grow tall on the me you're dead you're dead to me. You know, it's funny my son Started to get very tall and he said, I don't want to be your height. And I said, you don't. He said, no, you're too tall. It's weird. And I said, what the fuck? He was just, you know, he's no, I don't want to be your height. He said, I'd like to be like, you know, maybe six one six two. I don't want to be six four. It's weird. And he sort of implied like I should be in the circus. I was like, you know, that's no way to talk to your father. But that's the way he, you know, that's our relationship. What are you doing?

He is 17 years old. And he might be done growing. He's just a tiny bit shorter than me. And I think he's happy about that. But he's stronger than me. And it doesn't go well when we fight. I know, that's not good. Chase me, dad.

Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. That's what got me. It doesn't go well when we fight. I know, that's not good. Chase me, Dad. Pfft! Pfft! Pfft! Pfft! That's what got me. They turn 12 or 13. Chase me, Dad. And you go after them. Yeah. There's no way can you catch them.

No. I remember that day very well. Yeah. I might keep reasonably fit, you know, would I? Pfft! Pfft! Get you! Pfft!

When you come back, you'll come back eventually, and then I'll get you. Yeah you come back, you'll come back eventually and then I'll get you. Yeah, I just throw things now. I'm not going to chase them anymore. I just throw some rocks. Do you get, because you've, you have, you have staked out so many areas, you've done so much great work, but you've also been, once you're in a Star Wars film, you've got, you're part of that whole lore. Do you have Star Wars fans coming

up to you all the time? Not all the time. There's, I mean, there is a cult. It is. Yeah. There's so many movies and spin-offs, and I think, no, you're diluting the whole thing. I think that's my personal thing. But yeah, occasionally, you know, you'll see, oh, those kids after Star Wars autograph, and I don't want to get on a graph. I'm on an airport. Oh, it's not the kid. It's the grandfather. There he is. The dad, you know, horn-ramed glasses and a beard. Yeah, yeah. And they're like, they become 11-year-old. Did you, did you enjoy, because I know that you and you and McGregor got to use the the lightsabers. Did you have fun with us?

It did. The first time we actually had to use, pull the light saber and it's only a handle. Right, it's a handle and they add the effect later. Yeah, and maybe a little bit of aluminum tube with green tape, mines with green, because I'm Irish, Irish jello. And you answer this right out of the me.

So the first time we got to pull them, to start a little fight, you know. We both automatically went and I actually, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you George George. Let's cut there boys. We can have that in later. Yeah, of course. We knew that twat That's hilarious. I wish they had left that in when that means so great A quiz, a quiz, a quiz, a quiz, a You two just spitting at each other because because because you two just spitting at each other

God that would be so so funny looking that would be fantastic I had this lovely makeup and hair lady and Scottish and I was supposed to be doing the scene with this little flying sort of monster that was this kid that would eventually be Darth Vader, he's nine years old. It was a big long scene with this flying thing. No, it's you, and all this stuff. And I didn't know what this thing was going to look like. So I'm acting to a guy with a steak and an orange or a green tennis ball to stuck in the top that's going to be

Eventually there's flying little monster You know, so I'm in the mega to get my wig on and my beard and all that stuff and she says oh Liam Make-up lady says I'm at did see you know a mock-up of the wee monster You could be a monkey smog in the pipe. No one's going to be looking at you. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh are you doing here, Jedi? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha career, you've done a lot of great work, your terrific actor, and then this is the way it goes,

eventually, in this business, you are acting to a green tennis ball. And because that's more and more, that's what the work is. And it's just, I don't know about you, but there are so many times, particularly in my profession, my career, my weird corner of it, where I find myself doing these things over the years, over the many years, and I think, I step outside my body and go, what the hell are you doing? This is, you're a complete fool. You're a total ass, but I think we're in show business, ultimately. So, even something as, you know, important and popular as a Star Wars film, you're there

and there's a tennis ball. And there must be some part of you that steps outside of you and I did theater. I know. Yeah, yeah, there's that. But what you've done come out to me, that would be a nightmare for me. Getting up as Conan O'Brien or Liam Neeson in front of an audience and having to entertain them. That's a nightmare. It's a thought of, I'm not a comedian. I mean, you are. You've done this stuff, is like, fuck, how did they do that? Well, the trick is sometimes it's not good. That's

what I've always said. The trick is you go out and you try, but I know that I love it. I love being in front of people and I really enjoy it, but I get very intense before I go out and do it. I was telling you just before I went on just last night, I did something with Paul McCartney, about 800 people I think in the crowd, and had the time of my life out there on stage, but beforehand, waiting backstage backstage standing next to that guy And I had to go out first and get the crowd going and then bring him out Things get very focused in my brain. I still after all these years

I I get kind of intense because I think you have to get that way before you go out If you just breeze on out there, it's not gonna be any good. I remember just after I pulled over talking about it, I remember doing a play, a Brian Freel play, and you played then, it was called Aristocrats in the Belfast Theater Festival. I'm talking 1978, it was only a, and I had taken over the part

from wonderful Irish hydrocholestemen Ray. And I had learned the part in two weeks, and it was a main, a main part, you know. We played in Dublin for two weeks, then we had a week off while the company moved up to Belfast for as part of this festival, and then the opening night of the play Aristocrats, which I'd already played for two weeks. Brian Fried's on the audience, the directors on the audience, Ferious, Northern Ireland, Dignities, and I have a kind of drunken spiel to say in the second act, and I dried for your audience. I forgot my words. And you could have heard a pin drop, and I remember seeing at the end of the passageway the exit sign,

and I thought, if I jump off the stage and I can be out of this horrible feeling in maybe six seconds, all this is over. I didn't, but it felt like an hour had passed and I was still there looking at this exit sign and the audience. Looking at me, I find it late. I was supposed to be drunk, the character was. So I was kind of staggered off stage and the script girl, she wasn't following at all. Anyway, when I got off stage, I remembered the line and I staggered back on again, resumed the awful. So it came back to you. I came back to me, but I'll never forget that moment of absolute terrifying fear. It's funny. Do you ever have figured out what happened in that moment? You obviously knew it was there's something in that moment was there a reason was it was because everyone was in the audience because I find sometimes I don't like to know.

Yeah, if someone importance in the crowd, I don't want to know. Yeah, yeah, I'd rather not know because that gets in my head and I used to find it difficult even when family would come. And they would say like, oh, here, my dad's's here and he's gonna sit in the crowd. That would make it more difficult for me, which shouldn't make a difference at all. But it would make it more difficult, even though it's a TV show, it's going out to millions of homes. That's who's really seeing it. This audience, you know, but I couldn't get past that. Yeah, I think it is.

It's partly knowing, but there's people like that, that are your respect, you know. And I just dropped conversation. I think I felt too confident. I had taken over the part in two weeks, which was a fast learn for me. Very fast, yeah. And I think it's just caught up with me. That's what it was.

I think it's refreshing. I love it when people, especially people with your caliber say, I'm scared and I still get scared, you know, I, and I find that to be, it's one of the things I like most about doing the podcast and having these conversations is I love, I think it's good for people to hear. That Liam Neeson still has moments. And we all do. We all do. We have these moments where we think, I don't know that I can do this. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I still get them. Not that fear, but if I'm shooting a film and, you know, where there's a break that they're doing a lighting set up or something.

Right. I know if I look at the lines or whatever and thing. Do I do this? Yeah. I always say to myself, you know, I think it was Robert met him in my summer and some interview a year ago. So as you walk in the room, you point your feet, speak the truth, or walk in the room, hit the marks, say the lines. What's the problem? Oh my God, you know,

some of the symbols that kind of get me back again. It worked for Robert Mitchum, yeah, I'll say that. And Jimmy Cagney, Cagney is to say that too. No stress, no strain. Walking the room, plant your feet, speak the truth. That was his thing, yeah. Well, he was, I mean, Jimmy Cagney, I grew up, I mean, it's odd, but I think just because, you know, I grew up, I came of age in the 1970s, so you'd think I'd be watching all this sophisticated stuff, but no, I ran, I watched channel 38 or channel 56 because they showed reruns, and what did they show?

They showed old movies, so I grew up on Jimmy Cagney. And I thought that was show business. Jimmy Cagney and Yankee Doodle Dandy, Angels with 30 faces, you know, public anime. I just thought that's what those were the movies I watched. And yeah, and I thought that's what it is. And of course, I wasn't watching Mean Streets. I wasn't watching. I didn't have access to those. They weren't showing those early Scorsese films. That's what I should have been watching, but you know, that's what I did. My education was the 1930s and 40s. Warner Brothers. Yeah, me too. And we got a TV. I was in my teens, I think, when we got a TV. Plakkenweight, you know. But I always remember every Sunday, there was always a movie on,

two o'clock in the afternoon. And it always seemed to be someone in a Mac with a Trilby hat, or with rain. Yeah. Film the wire. Raymond Chandler, yeah, Alan Ladd, or Mitchim or something like that, you know. So I feel like I can agree up with those guys. I had a question for which has just occurred to me, which is the times that I've been in Ireland,

and it surprised me the first time I encountered it They love country music American country music and the more sentimental the more they love it And it's a funny because sometimes the Irish and I'm talking north south Catholic Protestant They can come across as so hard-edged and unsenemmental But then they love the most sentimental thing in the world. And I was really surprised that you look at what's on the jukebox or what's available to play in these different pubs, and it's all the most, you know, you went and left me,

and all I've got is my donkey, you know, kind of country. That's not a real one, but sometimes the sappiest country songs. And I don't know what that is, but then I realized, But the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. Oh, man, the most sentimental old clap trap, you know, she play it over and over and over. I put him on the wrong stones. There'll be no rolling stones in this house. Is it true? I never knew if this was true or not that you had a chance to do James Bond. Was that ever a possibility for you or was it ever discussed? They were interested in me after Jim Lurst.

They were interested in all the bunch of other actors. Some journalists think, oh, why did you turn to a bone? It's like, no, I wasn't offered James Bond. I think I was on the radar for five minutes. Would you've done it if the chance had come up. Yeah, but my wife called over. She said, when I first started getting a couple of calls from Barbara Broccoli, but you know, would I be interested? And I said, yeah, I would be honest.

Natasha and I weren't married at the time. And she says, if you are offered James Bond, we're not getting married. I think, thing that I mean, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, just keep it long. She did not want to be married to James Bond. Yeah. I was worried today, don't, oh, these boring, horribly beautiful women, I can't take it anymore.

Oh. Yeah, I'm sure it is funny. After a while, anything you're paying you to do becomes a job. There's a point, I'm sure. You know, it's like, I don't care if you're the ice cream taster at the Ben and Jerry's factory. There's a day when you come home and go,

I God damn it! One more tasty, fudge ripple crunch. And I'll take my life, I swear I will. Yeah, there must be days when Daniel Craig or a company would come, oh God damn it. Fuck Bond. Oh, yeah. We had to kiss and kiss and kiss.

Enough! I don't think they leave me alone. I know that retribution is the current film, the film that's coming out. Is this one one that you read the script and said, this is a good one? Can you tell pretty quickly when you read a script that this is?

I have a cup of tea test. If I get to page five, say, I think, must make a cup of tea, that's not a good sign. Oh, okay, that's the tea test, yeah. That's the tea test, yeah. But I'd work with these producers, these lovely guys, and we've done three movies together. Studio Canal, I've done five movies together, and I knew it was going to be a thriller, and I'd done one for the guys on an airplane that crisis, a train that derails

and crisis. The car's got to be a car. So this is about a car. Driving a car, I've spent 95% of the movie and a car with my two kids in the back. The only problem is I'm trying to take them to school. I'm a financial advisor banker. No skills. No set of skills. No.

And driving through the streets of Berlin, but unbeknownst to me, I'm sitting on a bomb as are my kids and I have to follow these instructions from this anonymous person that has left a phone in the car. Anyway, I read the script in London, they sent it to me and I find a real page turner. It was really interesting, good action-paced thing, you know. Yeah, you know, they've always said, and it's not that I know a lot about the film business, but they've always said, if you don't have the script, you can't fake the, you can, it doesn't matter what you do. You can get the greatest actors in the world, you can get the

greatest director if it's not there in the script. Conan, have a dean on the page, a dean on the stage. Yeah. That's the truth. And I can tell it's the truth because it rhymes. Yeah. If something rhymes, I immediately believe it. Immediately believe it. But I love that. You can tell by just what you call the T test. If you want to make yourself a cup of tea, a couple of pages in, that means it's a problem. Yeah.

There's something I'll work on. I have a version of that called the if I'm offered test, which means if I'm offered anything, I'll do it I want to go do it You know you'll actors one you know like agent calls Actor performer and Yeah, I'd be good. Hey John. How's it going? Yeah? What who I would not work with that bitch if she was, I might. Hahaha.

That's the classic one. Yeah, yeah, that's the world. That's not just show business. That's all across the board. Yeah, that's everybody. Um, well, I'm looking forward to it because it's a good movie. Come on. Yeah.

And I, I have to say I, I, I just, when I know you're in something, I'm looking forward to it because it's a good movie. Yeah. And I have to say, I just when I know you're in something, I'm happy. I'm serious. You're always however you're feeling inside, you're always terrific. And I also, I wish you could teach me to talk like you. But because I'm so annoyed as is America by my own voice. And I've always wished I could get it down here, because I think if I, I think it's blocked my career in so many ways. Yes, it has. No, it's absolutely true. Imagine me on the phone, you know, saying, I've got some skills, special set No one's threatened

There's no Or I'm Michael Collins You know, you know, I'm gonna change everything here in Ireland. It's way up. It's there's no There's no authority. There's no authority. No, I disagree with me Okay Okay. But you have extraordinary energy. I've seen you a few times. I've done your show several times. I love it. I really admire it. That was very impressive. Yeah.

Well, also annoying to people like me. How? We'll get my wife in here. You've met my wife. She will agree. I shall say, look, Liam, you take him for the day. I don't want him. This is, I just woke up happy today because I knew I'd be seeing you and

no, seriously, you're the real deal. And you seem like you're happy, which you know something. I don't believe in the word happy. Yeah. Content is the state. Yes, I aim for this content. That's the best feeling in the world. Yeah. I know happiness comes in goes. Yeah. Yeah. No, I agree with you. I used to tell my wife when we were just dating, I said, I believe in a low base home, meaning just the, you know, that low background of good feeling. So she had it made into a thing that I could wear on my wrist. Low bass hum.

The problem is the person who made it had to, there wasn't enough space so they shoved all the letters together. And she gave me this thing and it says low basham. And people think it's like a county in court where I come from. So I wear this thing, it says low-bashem. But no, I know what you're meaning. I think that there's a obsession in our culture with,

are you happy all the time? It's not the natural state, but contentment contentment is good. Oh, contentment's great. I recently learned a word, Japanese word, called shibumi. I recently learned a word Japanese word called Shibumi. And it's, it, it, it sort of describes contentment with, I can't even find the words for it. It's like, for example, a walk through some dabbled forest and you're totally at your ease. That's, and you're connected in some way. Connected, I think, is a good word. And that's Shibumi. I just love Bumi.

Shibumi. I just love Boomi. She's the word, yeah. I'm going to get that for the other wrist. Shibumi and Lombashim. I'm going to get the tattoo on the throat. I love the throat tattoo. Shibumi. And people are, and then I'm going to finally meet some Japanese

person going to say, no, they wrote it wrong. Yes. Hey, Liam, God bless you. Thank you for being here. Yeah, just an absolute treat. And what's hanging again sometime? Let's do that. That'd be fun.

We'll take you to a boxing match. Yeah. And I can say, why are those men fighting? I might have been Mike Tyson. Do you remember where it was? It wasn't Tyson. I do remember what it was. Do you remember where it was? It wasn't Tyson. I do remember what it was. I'll think of it.

We should look it up. But the fight was over very quickly. I think it was Floyd Mayweather. It was a very, because it was a very quick fight. In the garden? I think it was in the garden. I know it was in the garden. I know it was in the garden.

And I think it was Floyd Mayweather. Do you remember the year? Droidy. Droidy. No, we had Guinness. I don't remember a goddamn thing. I remember there was Floyd made Floyd may weather do remember the year. I remember the year. No, I'm well, we had Guinness. I don't remember a goddamn thing. I remember there was Guinness and what I remember is Liam Neeson and the Guinness made more of an impression on me than the fight. The fight was very quick.

We watched an undercard that was quick and then the main fight was quick and all I really appreciated and enjoyed was was my time with Liam. I got a lot of time to look down up to him. I, yeah, for the record, it says Floyd never fought at the garden. He didn't know. No, no, he wasn't in the ring. He was fighting with someone. Someone brought, he ordered nachos and they brought him up pizza.

So I don't remember. Stop quizzing me and getting online and looking for things. You know, I don't even know if a fight was happening. I might have been my family arguing, I don't know. But I know that definitely we hung out there, and we hung out there with Frank Smiley and his wife, and it was who worked for me, and we had a wonderful time. She's also, I believe, from the north, and I think I know that because you two got into an argument within seconds. She a person. She is, I think.

How would explain it? You were arguing right away and I had to break it up. Liam, have an amazing day. Thank you for being here. Thanks, Con. Thank you so much. Okay, it's time to find out what's going on with the young people in America. Oh, is that why I'm here? Yeah, yeah, that's why you're here. Get ready for a youth quick. No, I am, I want to find out because listen, this summer summer has it's been all about Taylor Swift or as I call her T Swift or T.S.

Or sometimes T.S. Eliot because that's odd. She's been so successful. She's left a wasteland behind her. Kids, you got to learn something. My point is that I brought in the biggest Taylor Swift fan I know and is that I brought in the biggest Taylor Swift fan I know. And he's David Hopping. He's my real assistant now that so-and-a-just become a professional goofball 24-7. Oh, okay. Oh, come on, he real, I mean, you still are. You still are.

You're a professional goofball 24-7. What did you say that? Okay, sure, I guess, yeah, I guess you are. I don't, so you are. Yes, you are. What do you do that? What do I do? You do, when you're like, I guess,

when you say something, we're like, I'm really good, Niko is cage. It's fantastic. Anyway, let's get, let's stick to the point. Yes, not you, let me tell you something. Oh. David Hoppings here and David Hopping,

you actually went to the only one in this room that went to the Taylor Swift concert. I did. And everyone's talking about it. So this is, you know, I don't think anyone else who's seen the Taylor Swift concert. I did. And everyone's talking about it. So this is, I don't think anyone else who's seen the Taylor Swift shows this summer has actually been recorded giving their thoughts on it. So this is a real scoop.

Yeah, and he's been multiple times. How many times have you gone? Twice. Okay, three times. Three times. Three thousand dollars. Yeah. Well, it was just, you don't let the system work you.

You have to work the system. David, what is that? David, what? That the system work you you have to work the system So what is what David what is that means he came in through the codes? It means he came in through the air conditioning duct A lot of people were saying I love the part of the concert where that that white midwestern guy falls through the ceiling I know you're midwester covered in lint and hits the floor really hard So tell me what was what was it amazing? It's it's a seven hour concert. Is that right? She does like three and a half hours just herself and her opening

act is they show Dr. Chicago, which is a three hour movie. I was out until he said that. Yeah. And then right. Yeah. Right. They show Dr. Chicago, then they build an Aztec temple in real time. And then she comes out. So the whole thing you're in for a 15, you're They show Dr. Javago then they build an Aztec temple in real time and then she comes out. So the whole thing, you're in for a 15. You're 18 hours in, okay?

So how was it? The best night. Best night of your life. My life, yeah. Wait, you've had dinner at my house. I have. Still the best night of your life? Is that the statement?

Yeah. Okay. I had burritos. You love burritos. Oh, I love burritos. Oh, I love burritos. Anyway, so it was incredible. Yes. Everyone says she gives a fantastic show. I don't know how she does it.

I was exhausted. I felt like I was hung over the next day. I had had no alcohol. Okay, is it possible that there's more than one that she has other people come out? Well, first of all, she's performing in a huge space and there are a bunch of times where she says, before my next song, I'll be right back and she ducks behind, right?

Something like a text switch. Yeah, and it's possible that they pull the old, thank you, text a switch. And she comes out and it's an easy look to replicate. Is that possible? There are nine people backstage. I don't think so. Okay. Of those camp, there are cameras that get in the car.

And like her face is just on the picture. But what is that pre-recorded video? Yeah, pre-recorded video. It is a stand-in live, because no one's close enough. It's for people that pay like $30,000, and that's the illuminati anyway, so they're gonna keep the secret. Exactly.

Also, I think it's very highly possible that it is like seven different people who can look like Taylor Swift, they show pre-recorded stuff on the big screens. People don't know, it's playing to attract. I heard TMC has footage of her backstage eating a giant bowl of mushed corn. And just corn mash. Smoking a giant cigar. Yeah, smoking a giant cigar.

And she's on the tape saying suckers. And she's eating it off of a giant table. It's made of a million dollar bills. Yeah, that's a tape that I heard TMZ has, but they're just slow to get it out. They got some editing problems. Because you know how slow they can be. They're slow with their. Where can they get their news out?

Yeah, can I confess something? Yeah, I can't name a single Taylor Swift song. What are you talking about? I'm one girl. Hey, today's the day. Here we go. Not a single one. Off on our way.

Okay, so Conan Canty there. No, I'm just naming them. I'm ripping them off. They're incredible. I'm just rolling off my tongue. Can you come? Are you gonna be? He was my current, but now he's my ex.

Oh. He's in my rear view window. Don't need him no more. Somebody's actually sound like they could do. I was gonna say, and also a lot of her songs are just like, we were worried that we use regular songs. I love her song, the acoustic bowed, Fuck You Jake Gyllenhaal.

Oh. She's got some great tunes. What are you doing? What's matter? You don't like this segment? I love it. Okay, you're getting all nervous and stuff that she's nervous.

I'm always nervous. What made it so stand out? Like, what do you see at a Taylor Swift Contest? Well, the one I went to, she announced 1989 Taylor's version. And she's re-recording that because someone else owns that album. Yeah, it's weird. I know stuff about her, but I couldn't tell you so. Wait a moment, I, that's a whole idea I just had. We'll get to Taylor Swift in a second.

Guys, this is ingenious. Okay, so we're going to have to re-record every podcast word for word. And we sell them. We sell them on television late at night, on a 1-800 or a 555 number, and it's called Conan, the real Conan 1963, when I was born. Yeah, and we sell them and we get to keep all that cash. Conan, the real Conan 1963 when I was born. Yeah.

And we sell them and we get to keep all that cash. I'm in. And then we disparage these other ones because they're not real. They're owned by the man. Yeah. What do you guys think of that? Do you guys want to do that? Because I don't know.

I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it. I don't want to be really, really busy. I don't have time. I'm free. You're free. Okay. Why don't you do, hey, David, why don't you do all parts?

You be me, you know, not poorly to see. Yeah, including whatever interview. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, keep going. So Taylor Swift. Oh no. So she announced 1980 to 9.

So the whole night she kept wearing like new blue dresses because that's the color that represents 1980 to 1989. Of course. Why? Why does blue represent 1989? It just, it's. Ultraly or by or hurt. She decided so when the demo became all of her albums have a color associated with so David when the Democrats are winning in a

landslide that means that that's Taylor Swift. Yeah, it's covering the map. Beating the red. Well, only 1989. I don't I just don't understand why blue means to our Swift 1989. It's just I don't know where it came from. I think the fans just made it into it. It's such a major color. You can't claim a whole major color for one album. She's not saying no one else can use blue. It's just like represents it. She's just saying, hey 1989 was my blue face. And then red, I'm guessing was her red face.

You know, speaking out purple. Okay, what about midnight? Black? Yeah. No reputations, black. Oh, right. Right. Who, what's your favorite chowers with song? Long lives.

Blinds long lives. That was good. And what's your other one? All too well. All too well with the 10 minute version. Yeah, 10 minute version. Yeah. I like there's a 11 minute version I like, because you just hear her coughing and saying,

did we get it? You think we got it? Where's my bowl of corn? Yeah. A musk or a corn. Can I have my corn mush now? You think we got it? Where's my bowl of corn? Yeah, we got corn mush now. What else do you like? I mean, the whole midnight's album. Yeah, well, that's don't even get started. Full-clar, ever more.

Yeah, full-clar is ever more. She's not the first artist to have to re-record a full album because she didn't know it. No, I know JoJo did. Def Leopard. Right. No, no, they re-recorded it because they really like the kid. Didn't they lose the master recordings? That's why they re-recorded it because they like the kid and they lose the master recordings

that's why they re-recorded it I know someone someone wouldn't allow them to go digital with it and so they re-recorded it note for note exactly the same okay well so you're why rain on Swifties Parade not raining I'm just saying you are you're like they were she wasn't the first I think it's amazing what you're leopard. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because I'm cool Because I know how to rock and I like metal. Yeah, okay That's what I think no, no, that's the old deal It is deal what am I thinking of I I don't know. What are you thinking of? You're so here I go again. I'm not saying so. Yeah, that's right. All rock songs are pretty much the same. I think Taylor Swift should record deck leopard songs and white snakes. Now we're

talking. But yeah, oh, she should also record famous news broadcast. Yes. Oh, the Hindenburg is coming into Lakehurst, New Jersey. Oh my God, the humanity. The humanity. How about cheerful ones? There aren't cheerful news. And when does someone break into the news and go, have now something cheerful?

A blooper had a baby. Oh, okay. It's always something bad. You don't know it. You know, guys, the war is over. Yeah, there you go. We killed everyone died for nothing. Oh, no, telling you. All right, I got to wrap this up. David, I'm glad you had a good time. And I am happy for all the swifies out there. My, my daughter is a huge tell us with fan. And she went to the show and lost out there. My daughter's a huge Taylor Swift fan

and she went to the show and lost her mind and it made her so happy that I was indebted. I was indebted to Taylor Swift. Seriously, I'm just, it's nice to see someone putting out so much positivity. Oh yeah. Yeah, all joking. No, seriously, all joking aside,

I'm hugely happy for her. And just I think it's, I don't know, we've had just so much bad news for such a long time that when people are all excited about the Barbie movie or Taylor Swift and Beyonce. Or Beyonce. The ladies are doing it. The ladies are doing it.

Go, go ladies, go. Cause you seem to know what you're doing. We do not. Yeah. As far as, all right. I'm a lady. Well, okay. You sure if you will.

Well, okay. I'm just like, I'm more like, I'm more like, I'm more of a bride, I'm a lady. Well, okay, you will well, okay, I mean just like I'm more of a bride. I guess I'm more of a bride. You're a bride. You're a bride. What a bride. You're a tough bride. Son was a bouncer for four years. I'd be a great bouncer. Get the fuck out of here. Good bounce. It'd be a great bounce. I'd be nice great bounceer. You'd be a great bounceer. I'd be nice, people. I'd have a lot of regular.

That's true. Because I'm cool too. I'm a cool metal guy. I'm a cool metal guy. I'm a cool metal guy. I'm a cool metal guy. I haven't seen you at the meetings. Because metal guys don't say, hey, I'm a cool metal guy.

Guys, I'm gonna be responsible. We had a better ending and then we kept going. And then when he said, I'm a cool metal guy, there was just diarrhea on the wall. So I'm ending it. Peace out, Tupac. Cool rap guy. Conan O'Brien needs a friend. With Conan O'Brien, Sonom of Sessian, and Matt Gourley.

Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Nick Liao, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Your Wolf. Themesong by the White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

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