Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Lisa Kudrow Returns

Episode Date: July 22, 2024

Actress Lisa Kudrow feels good - no, really good - about being Conan O’Brien’s friend. Lisa sits down with Conan once again to discuss survival meals from the early days, back alley improv, fan encounters taking sinister turns, and her new Apple TV+ series Time Bandits. For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com.Got a question for Conan? Call our voicemail: [phone].

Hi, my name is Lisa Kudrow. And I feel good. What? No. What? No. Really good. Boo!

Yay! It's terrible! It's like you're in a hostage situation. She's one of your oldest friends. Oldest and best friends. It's funny to be mean. Yeah, it is funny to be mean. I prefer it.

["Fall Is Here"] Fall is here, hear the yell. Back to school, ring the bell. Brand new shoes, walk and lose. Climb the fence, books and pens. I can tell that we are gonna be friends. I can tell that we are gonna be friends. Hello and welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend.

I'm sitting here with Sonam Avsesian. Yes. Professor Matt Gourley. Yes. Would you guys ever get a tattoo, ever? I bring this up because this is just interesting to me. When I was a kid, you just never saw a tattoo. And...

Unless it was like a Navy guy. Well, what I'm saying is when you did see a tattoo, it was quite like stunning. Tattoos traditionally started in... I do think it started in the Navy, and I think it started... I could be wrong. Not that it started, but it was picked up by, I think, British started, I could be wrong, not that it started, but it was picked up by,

I think, British sailors. I could be wrong, but I read a book recently that was talking about Captain Cook roaming around, and British sailors saw, they'd visit different islands, and they'd see the people of those islands that had tattoos, and it got them interested in it. But it used to be this, almost a sign of, you're an outcast

or I'm part of this elite group that doesn't fit with the rest of society. It was quite shocking if you saw a tattoo and now. Now it's the opposite. I mean, now to see for someone not to have a tattoo would be kind of crazy. That's why I thought. No, I don't have one.

I don't know if I ever told this story. I would have thought you'd be a candidate for having a tattoo. I know. So one of Tac's friends works at this, like, beauty, like, company, and they needed somebody who didn't have tattoos so that they could make a video where they show how they put the products on and then take it off. So I did it because I don't have any tattoos.

And it was really weird. And they didn't want a tattoo on because they thought it would... It would probably... I don't know if it would be distracting. So for, like, I would say... Especially if the tattoo said, uh, products suck. because they thought it would. It would probably, I don't know if it would be distracting. Yeah. So for like, I would say. Especially if the tattoo said, products suck. Why would someone have that tattoo? You know, that would be the problem.

That's hurt me a lot in getting commercial work where I'm bare chested. Is because I have like three tattoos. Yeah, that's why. That say commercials blow. Yeah. Believe the opposite of what I say, fuck the system. Yeah, I mean, I would get one.

I think my great grandma had a tattoo. Really? Your great grandma? Well, she was in the Navy, was she not? She was crazy. When you go to Jerusalem, because there's an Armenian quarter, one of the things that people do

is they get a tattoo of the cross on their wrist. And Medzik, my great grandma, she went and did that. She got it. So she had a tattoo, which was crazy. I thought I'd get a tattoo and try heroin right before I die. Wait, are you being serious? Yeah. No, are you being serious?

Why not? Well, you know what, why not? No, I don't get, I mean, the heroin, of course. We've all thought that. Oh, have we? Well, because the reason being- But the tattoo is somewhat painful, and then you say- Well, not if you're on heroin.

Oh, that's true. But if you, but isn't the idea that, I mean, why would you do it- There's never been anything I wanted on my body that I wanted there 10 years. Like, I'd have a Phantom Menace tattoo if I, you know. What? You know what I'm saying?

Like, if you get what you're into on a tattoo, nothing stays with me that long, you know? I think they're, like, I have, Tak has a lot of friends who have tattoos, and it's cool. Like, they're just like, I just want a tattoo, nothing stays with me that long. I think they're, like, I have, Tac has a lot of friends who have tattoos, and it's cool, like, they're just like, I just want a tattoo, and they just go and get a tattoo, and it looks, I like the way it looks. Eduardo, tattoo?

Four of them. Four of them, okay, do you wanna talk to that? Yeah, I got them when I turned 18, I started tatting my body up, but there's people who, like Sona said, just artwork. Their body is a canvas now. It's also interesting, I talked to some people. Some people have clearly chosen very carefully.

But I was talking to one woman who, she said, oh yeah, when I started, I just let people do whatever they wanted on one arm. Because my friends were getting into it, but just learning, and you could tell, like, they were more. It's just a to-do list. Yeah, literally, it was things like eggs, get eggs. Yeah.

Dry cleaner. But no, and then you could see the other arm was more artistically figured out, but she was very relaxed about it. And to me, it's almost how people carry it, which is if they're super, if they're incredibly relaxed about it. I don't think I would do one on my face.

Well, of course. No. Do you know, but there's people who do tats on their face, but I also don't have, like, I don't have a real job. You know what I would do if I got one on my face? I'd do glasses. And I would constantly say, I've got to, oh man, I can't read that. I've got to get my glasses. And they'd say, you've got, oh man, I can't read that, I gotta get my glasses,

and they'd say, you've got your glasses on, I go, ha, fooled you! There's people who tattoo eyebrows, like to fill them in, like permanent. Oh yeah, makeup, makeup tattoos. And lip liner. Exactly. What tattoos do you have?

They're all on my arm, it's all lettering different words. Conan blows. This product sucks. Ha ha ha ha ha. Blay, you got any? No, I think tattoos are- Hey, take it easy.

You don't just shout. Relax, you got a real- It's fine. You know what's so funny? Suddenly you were like testifying in front of the Senate. I know. I went, Blay, what about you? Why?

I got it! It's a yes or no question. It's simple. I don't have any tattoos, but I think they're- I'm glad you lowered your voice, by the way. I think they're a little easy. I think they're a little easy. Oh. What?

Because it's like, well, look, look, if you love something, you get it tattooed on you, right? Yeah. Okay. That just happens once. All right, fine. If you really love something, you would write it on yourself on Sharpie marker every day. That's dedication. Okay.

It's easy to get a tattoo. Oh, oh, they're pretty, you know, I'm just saying like every day, you know, drawing the Punisher skull or something on your chest. Oh, someone did this regularly in school. That's a real thing. I think someone regularly did that in school. When I was younger, I made stuff on myself all the time.

Did you draw the Punisher on your chest? Did you? Oh, so there's no question, Senator. Where no one could see it too? I mean, not that no one saw your chest. He knew it was there. I knew it was there. You drew the Punisher on your chest with magic marker.

I'm just saying, it takes real dedication to draw it yourself. It's okay, it's okay. You're doubling down on this. More dedication. Yeah, it also takes dedication. If you really want to drive your car, build one from scratch every day.

Every day. And then drive it. Oh, anyone can own a car. But if you really care about cars, you keep 9,000 components and you assemble one every day. If you love something like I love the Punisher, you draw it on your body every day.

Show us your drawing today. Show us your drawing today. Show us your drawing today. No, I know it's fake. It's faded since. You should get a tattoo. You know, I don't even know what I would get. Just to get yourself out of your comfort zone. Cause I feel like people are like,

Conan wouldn't have a tattoo. You'd be like, look at this. Yeah, check this out. And then it's just a tattoo of Dick Van Dyke. Which by the way, I would be a cool tattoo. I mean, you know what, I say that, like, and that is not a put down at all because I revere Dick Van Dyke

and he was one of my role models. So that's kind of, it would probably just be Dick Van Dyke's face. I think that would make a lot of sense. You came in with a sleeve of your comedic icons, you know, there'd be like Bob Newhart and the three stooges and you know, that's a cool, that's a cool.

Certain stooges. If know, that's a cool. Certain stooges. If you could pick between image or words, you had to get one tattoo. I would do image I think. Because you know, words. What do they mean? You have to explain it a lot.

Yeah. You have to be able to read. Yeah, forget it. Forget it. Yeah. What if I got like words and you looked at it and it was like, a frown is just a smile turned upside down. Like, Conan!

But in real hardcore lettering. Yeah, real hardcore goth lettering. You know, a smile is just a frown turned upside down. When life gives you lemons, make limonada. And it's like in gothic lettering and there's little blood dripping from it. I know, yeah. I might do that.

I would, I don't know. I'm not ruling tattoos out. Yeah, I'm not either. I think it would be something I'd do when I was older, like figuring, you know, this is the last chapter of my life, I'll stick with this, let's go for it. Yeah. When is the last chapter of our lives?

Next week. Oh. Let's go for it. Yeah. When is the last chapter of our lives? Next week. Oh. Jesus. That book sucked. Yeah. It's a novella. I got news for you. Short stories. What a crappy book.

This is the last chapter? I know. Certainly this is just book one. Nope, that's it, Conan. Oh. And then he got a podcast. The end. All right. No more time shall we waste.

My guest today, I said it like Yoda. You should get that tattooed. I'm going to get that tattooed. Tramp stamp. No more time shall we waste. Oh, come on. Yeah. That's my tramp stamp.

That's just like an invitation, like get in there. Get in there. What are you waiting for? Oh, what a wonderful way to get into get in there. Get in there. What are you waiting for? Oh, what a wonderful way to get into this lovely interview. She deserves better. Lisa deserves so much better than this. My guest today, star is Phoebe for 10 seasons on Friends.

Now you can see her in the new Apple TV Plus series, Time Bandits. She's one of my favorite people of all time. Lysa Kudrow, welcome. Thank you so much for being here. Oh, thank you. Yeah. For having me back.

Well, I mean, we like to hang out all the time outside of this world, so it's weird. I always thought, I always felt a little, it was weird when you would, all those years you would come on the late night show as, you know, the huge TV star. It was just always so like, so, I'm so excited she's here. And it always felt like there was a thin veneer of, this is strange. You don't know. Okay. The first time I was on, you said, listen, I don't like that thing when people know each other on the show and then they're just talking like they know each other.

It leaves everybody, let's not do that. I was like, okay, I have to pretend I don't know you. Oh my God. Yeah. And then I put on a mustache when you came out. I know, it's my, I'm gonna use a term that I think is trending right now. It's my hangup.

You know, isn't that about- I don't know, but you wanted her to pretend she didn't know you? No, it wasn't that. Is that true? You didn't wanna be too inside. I get so, there's two things. If there are people I know in the audience,

like family members, let's say it's Beacon Theater and there's 2,500 people. If I have one family member in the crowd, it bothers me. And then if I have a really, like someone's important to me personally, but they come on in this and they just finished this movie, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.

Called Jib Jab and the Honeycuts. Yeah. Here she is, Lisa Kudrow. It feels weird. Do you know what I mean? Called Jib Jab and the Honeycuts. Here she is, Lisa Kudrow. It feels weird. Do you know what I mean? I don't know why, it just feels weird to me. I get it, but it was just the first time I was on that you said, no.

Ixnay on the you know me. Yeah, on the friendship fray. Endship. And I went, oh, okay. Oh my God. Yeah. And then I think I overdid it because you came out and I said,

is it Lisa Kudrow? And is it Freens? You couldn't pronounce friends. And it had been on the air. It was the biggest thing ever. Is it Frongs? Yeah. Remember?

I tried super hard. Yeah, you went the other way. I went the other way. So you're just an idiot? Now we're gonna be looking at- Yes, okay. Wait, what'd you say? He's just an idiot.

I'm an idiot. No, but then you warmed up to me. Yeah, I have a hard time. I always find it strange. Like, okay, for example, today I get up and they send me these notes and it's like, here's our research on Lisa Kudrow. And I'm like, I've known her forever.

You're an incredibly important person in my life. And it's just so weird, like, here's your dossier. And I'm like, oh, her father is a doctor. You know what I mean? It's just so strange. She studied biology. and I'm like, oh, her father is a doctor. You know what I mean? It's just so strange. She studied biology. Yeah, studied biology.

I look at it and I go, don't, what is this? No, don't do that. Well, the researcher watched the first episode and was like, these two don't know each other. Okay, I have one thing I have to bring up to the whole room, which is weird, but I'm a very healthy guy, knock wood, but I went to my doctor recently and he said, you know, the last couple of times

I've checked your blood pressure, it's high. And so I said, well, I'll just test it at home, which I did, but he said, no, that doesn't work. You gotta wear a cuff for 24 hours. Oh, a cuff or a? There's a thing around my, right now. So they put it on me today a couple of hours ago and it's fine.

It's just gonna take my blood pressure for 24 hours and God, if it was a little high, they might give me something, but I don't think it will be. Anyway, it goes on here and this thing hangs off of me and it looks like it's collecting my urine. There's a giant tube. It clearly is. Yeah looks like it's collecting my urine. There's a giant tube. It clearly is.

Yeah, and it's just this giant tube. And so it was so funny because I'm all scrambled. I go racing over there, I get this thing, and then I'm driving back and I'm thinking, wait, wait, wait, who's on today? Oh, it's Lisa who is going to, who I know because you're fascinated by all things medicine. You are.

And I just thought you're either gonna make fun of this or I don't know what. All I could think to say was, well, but then what is that yellow liquid? So dripping out of it. I thought I was supposed to urinate into it. And what is that smell? It's not bad.

No, it's not bad at all. Ammonia, it smells. Oh, thank you. Oh, you're fixing me up. I'm like, look at this. My collar's up. You're fixing it. We want your blood pressure to be good. I'm showing you the guys, the giant walkie talkie that's hanging off of me. Will you mop his drool? The reason I'm bringing it up

is that at some random point during this interview, it's already happened like five times since I drove away from Cedar Sinai, at some random point you're gonna hear ka-poo and one bicep is gonna start to inflate. And then it's gonna ka-poo and then you're gonna, and that's it, but I felt like, well, that's gonna go, and then you're gonna, and that's it. But I felt like, well, that's gonna happen

probably while we're in here. And when it does, I'll make sure I get the mic on it. But let's do an experiment then. Okay. This is why I like medical things. Okay, what's the experiment? I'm looking at you, I'm looking at you. So if you start hearing that, take a deep breath,

three times. When it starts to happen. Take a deep breath three times. If it, when it starts to happen. Hold it, take a deep breath, hold it. You hold it? You know, like a, like a minuscule little meditation thing. Okay. To bring your blood pressure down. Here's the thing.

And we'll know exactly what time it is. Okay, I. It's true, that's true. Wait, so. To calm your, your blood pressure down. But why would I artificially give myself a different blood pressure than the one I normally have? Well, to see if it can come down, my friend.

Oh. Well, East, you admitted we are friends. That's what came out of- Can we make it go up? In joke form. You know what, in joke form. In a joke reality, you and I are friends. Listen to me, my friend.

But, yeah, uh... Uh, yeah, so that's, I just wanted to clear the deck. That's what's gonna happen at some point. And, um, it's not a big deal. I think I'm perfectly healthy. It's just one of those things that this, you know, guy said. And then they go into this whole thing of, we want that back, this is how much it costs.

And I said, yeah, yeah, I'll drop it off tomorrow. And they're like, you need to sign a form. And then I told them I was gonna sell it on Pico Boulevard. It's like $2,000 this morning. But didn't that make your blood pressure go up? It went up. $2,000! And now I'm really nervous about this thing

that I have to get back to them at 11. So they're gonna say I need open heart surgery when I go to them, even though I'm, I think, healthy as a horse with high blood pressure. I got enraged. What do you think of me? I get that lecture? Oh my gosh.

No, not at all. No, if I were you. Yeah, exactly. And someone's telling me we need that back. Well, stop it. That always makes me go the other way. I always go to try and get it back. And- Well, I will. I mean, I've always, that always makes me go the other way. I always go to try and get it back. And, you know.

Well, I will. I mean, I would. Yeah. Of course. You're very responsible. But I would still get just a little enraged. Hyper. You're hyper responsible.

Don't you have to give it back to you in order to get the results back? I don't know. Now I don't wanna give it back. Why would you not give it back? Because I want this. You know what? I'll tell you.

I want this. First of all, it's called the Oscar II, and I want it. I never got a real Oscar for good reason. Never been in a film, but I want this. I wanna keep it. You can't. What do you mean I can't? I can do whatever I want.

Well, that's why, by the way, I'm sure they went, oh, he's famous, everybody knows who he is. He just like, people give him stuff all the time. So we better let him know you don't get to keep this one. You know what, it's my version of, I've always heard that when big stars, divas go on a photo shoot and they wear jewelry, they try and leave with the jewelry.

You don't, you've heard that, right? They try and leave with things you would never do. Try or do. Or do. Yeah, no, I've never, what? No, that's stealing. You don't, you've heard that, right? They try and leave with things you would never do. Try or do. Or do. Yeah, no, I've never, what? No, you don't do that. That's stealing. Yeah, it's called stealing.

But I've heard about, I mean, it's an old thing. I have to. My version of that is I don't give the blood pressure cuff back. Well, you've also given Oscar II a big shout out and that's more than $2,000 publicity. There you go, Oscar II. They owe you another.

They owe me three of these. I want the good ones. Listen, let's bring this back on track. I'm clearly suffering from high blood pressure, I'm a little off, you don't care. Mine went up too, as you get older it goes up. Because our, what happens, our capillaries get? I don't know.

Maybe it's not, no, because then I just realized my husband has not gone up at all and. Your husband is the coolest guy I know. Yeah. He is the most, Michelle, he is so cool and every time I see him he's like, go on, go on, how, oh, you look fantastic.

And it's like, he always looks perfect. I don't and he'll work in a little. Yes you do. He'll, we're always working a little dig. You know how to dress. You're good. I got there. You knew the old me who didn't know how to dress.

No, from, I think, well, I don't know that. I don't know how to dress. So you were always ahead of me. I remember you being not a big fan of the cars that I drove back in the day. I had some shitty- I was so excited about the Ford Taurus and I didn't understand that. I told Lisa, I had this shitty- I was so excited about the Ford Taurus and I didn't understand that.

I told Lisa, I had this really shitty car. You invited me once to Liz and Gerald's wedding, your friends. Yeah, yeah. And you said I could be your plus one. And I was like, yay. So I picked you up and it was in a car that I had bought at the airport that was used.

At the time in the eighties, had bought at the airport that was used. At the time, in the 80s, this thing was a absolute piece of shit. And in the backseat, it looked like someone had butchered an animal. And it was in a Suzu Opal, which I think they made like two of them. And then they said, this is more of a, I don't know what this is.

It might be a clock, but it's not a car. But I took you to a wedding in the valley, and I remembered picking you up and the, oh, yes, well, oh, oh, oh, look in the backseat, oh, well, that could be blood, I don't know. And it was really funny. Then I finally was doing okay, you know, and then I finally, and then I had a, my second car was a 73 Plymouth Valiant, but then finally I said, I'm gonna buy a new car. And I told you and I called you and I said,

I'm coming over, I'm coming over baby, I bought a new car and I want you to see it. And I came over and I bought a brand new Ford Tourist. Oh my God. No, you were so excited, you went, no, it's a GTO, right? Not a GTO. What's it called? SHO, super high a GTO, right? Not a GTO. What's it called? SHO. Super high output.

Oh, OK. And you said, no, this is a fantastic car. This car, and it's fast. I mean, you were saying, no, no, this is. It's the wolf in sheep's clothing. It's the wolf in sheep's clothing, Lisa. Oh my god. You don't get it.

Any car you have to call a wolf in sheep's clothing. It's a Ford, it looks, it's a Ford Taurus on the outside, but it's got an incredible engine and a stick shift. And then, um... What color was it? It was an Ireland green. It was an Ireland green. A Ford Taurus on the outside, Ford Gemini on the inside. And then, but I'll never forget pulling, you're waiting out front,

because this is like, I swear to God, this is so long ago, you're waiting out front, because I said, I'll be right over. Are you waiting? And I see you looking at me, and an architect couldn't draw a more perfect O. Lisa's mouth was just a perfect O. And then I was like, Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I can't get over a wolf in sheep's clothing. It's like you're saying it might look like this,

but it's a good car I brought it. It's a good car and it was brand new and I bought it in Massachusetts. And when I bought it, I didn't know how to drive stick. And that's how I learned how to drive stick is with a Ford Tourist that had a stick shift. Why did you buy a stick? Because that's what men did. That's what men did. Oh, if you had a fast car Because that's what men did.

That's what men did. Oh, if you had a fast car. And they were cheaper too. You didn't get, you know, some wimpy automatic transmission. No, no, I needed to have full control over every inch of my Ford Taurus. Of the Wolf. It was just a time when people who like started doing well and then you know got their dream car was like a BMW.

And that's what I was expecting. I mean, I couldn't tell the difference between that and a Dodge Dart. It was not. I couldn't tell that my grandma had a Dodge Dart and it just kind of looked similar. Yeah. I think what I was going for was I'm so confident that I have these cars that an old lady would drive. That's how cool and confident I am. And it never worked.

And it's because I wasn't that cool and confident. Yes. No, you were. But you were, but you also said, no, I don't like flashy. Yeah, I don't like flashy. And then I didn't like flashy either, it turned out. Right. Yeah, because the first time I'm on Friends and everyone's getting new cars

and you see all our parking spots and it's a Mercedes coupe and a Porsche and all these fancy, these cars, I got a Acura Legend. Because I didn't know how long the show was going to go. Yeah, and that was in season eight. I got an Acura Legend. I got an Acura Legend. I got an Acura Legend. I got an Acura Legend. I got an Acura Legend. I got an Acura Legend. I got an Acura Legend. I got an Acura Legend. I got an Acura Legend.

I got an Acura Legend. I got an Acura Legend. I got an Acura Legend. I got an Acura Legend. I got an Acura Legend. I got an Acura Legend. I got an Acura Legend. I got an Acura Legend.

I got an Acura Legend. I got an Acura Legend. I got an Acura Legend. I got an Acura Legend. I got an Acura Legend. I got an Acura Legend. I got an Acura Legend. I got an Acura Legend.

I got an Acura Legend. I got an Acura Legend. I got an Acura Legend. I got an Acura Legend. I got an Acura Legend. I got an Acura Legend. I got an Acura Legend. I got an Acura Legend. I got an Acura Legend. Especially if your spot was next to Matt LeBlanc. Oh yeah, it was. Because he's such a gear, and is such a gear head that I could imagine he had a different crazy car every week and you're like, well the Acura has a lot of glove compartment space.

I know, everybody going, yeah. That's sensible, I guess, I don't know. You did the sensible thing. I like, I wanted to be sensible. ["Sense of the World"] You did the sensible thing. I like, I wanted to be sensible. I remember back in those days, you had a, I don't know if you've ever made this sense, but you used to make something, which was you would take M&Ms, Yes. Pour them into a pan.

Yeah. A big sheet. A sheet, yeah. Put them in a pan, a big sheet pan, put them in the oven and melt them. Well, not totally. Not totally. Yeah. But some of the integrity of the M&M is compromised.

Yes. Okay. Sounds like the point, right? That was the point. Uh-oh, uh-oh. Deep breath. No, deep breath. Hold. Hold.

Exhale. Can I have a raise? It just spiked. Yeah, the podcast just got canceled. I would be like, my days are free. This is the part I don't like. I don't mind the inflating part What I hate is the when it's going down and there's the throbbing in your arm I just always feels gross to me. Does anybody else have that? No, okay

I'd like to be excused from this podcast. That was I thought that was some exciting podcasting that just happened. Yeah, it was What's what's robbing? was. What's throbbing? What do you mean throbbing? When you compress the arm, the blood, then of course you feel it going thump, thump, thump, thump in your arm. I don't have that, so one of us is dying. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Do everything. Wait, we gotta get to the end of this M&M's thing. Oh yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, yeah. So you would make this thing. Yes. Yes, we gotta get to the end of this M&M's thing. Oh yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, yeah. So you would make this thing. Yes.

And it was like this big sheet of kind of quasi-melted M&M. Yeah, it maintains its integrity if done right. It's just that the candy cracks and a little bit of the chocolate bubbles out and it tastes like a different kind of chocolate. Right. It tastes like good chocolate.

Do you still do this? When was the last time you made that? Because you used to make it a lot. Well, yeah, when I was young and could have M&Ms whenever I wanted, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no, it's been a long time. I think after I had Julian, my son,

I stopped doing that because we had to be more healthy. I think of those days, LA living in a $380 a month apartment, and I remembered I made one thing and one thing only, which was Bumblebee tuna fish. I'd put it in a bowl. I'd put a bunch of Miracle Whip in there, mix it up. I'd put it on two pieces of toast to make a sandwich,

and then I'd have that with a bowl of the oodles of noodles ramen. Raman, yeah. And I, you'd think, oh, okay, you do that maybe five times in a row and you're good. I'm made of that stuff. My entire body, it's probably why I'm wearing a blood pressure monitor right now. I think I've just... There's the source of the throbbing.

I think I've destroyed my body. The flavor packet alone. Oh, I love the flavor packet. God knows what's in there. Right. But that's all I did. And I think back on that now, just as you said, we were all just automatically doing these things. And then now, no, I would not get an Isuzu Opal.

Which by the way, didn't you share that with Greg? Yeah, my writing partner, Greg Daniels and I initially shared it. And if one of us had to date, we had to ask the other if we could borrow it. Which, by the way, didn't you share that with Greg? Yeah, my writing partner, Greg Daniels and I, initially shared it, and if one of us had to date, we had to ask the other if we could borrow the car. We were adult men sharing an apartment. We also shared an apartment, and we also shared an office

where our desks faced each other at, and- And a car. And a car. I mean, it's more than any married couple. Yeah, yeah, absolute madness. And then- But also you guys had, you came out here with jobs. Yeah. We had a tryout at a job,

which was not necessarily the news. Oh, that was a tryout? I think so. I mean, meaning we were signed on to do, I think, four weeks and then if it didn't work, which is why we were so petrified that we bought the cheapest, we rented a car and then we realized Greg was always really good at this.

It'd be cheaper if we just bought this absolute piece of shit that they're selling at the airport to saps like us. And we bought it. I remember it had a sticker on the back that it said, I heart my, and there was the face of a poodle. And I tried with gasoline to get that thing off and it wouldn't come off.

And so I just decided, okay, I'm just gonna go with it. I mean, back then you and I went through this, you know, this time together where neither one of us knew like what's gonna happen. I was getting writing jobs, you were working. At my dad's office. At your dad's office. Yeah, headache clinic.

A headache clinic. Yeah. And you did some research with him on that, right? I did, yeah. Well, that's right. Specializing in, what is it, the left-handed people have more cluster headaches? That was the question.

Headache types, like amongst all, there were nine different identified headache types, and does handedness, is there any association between handedness and- And what did you find out? No, there's none. Oh. Okay.

All right. There's none. We've talked about our friendship before, but one of the things that I remember giving me a lot of solace was I thought, because I came from the East Coast and had gone to this whatever, you know, very academic school and had no,

I didn't had any training in acting or anything or written professionally. And I come out to LA and I felt very self-conscious because, and then I go to this improv class and I noticed the person who I thought was the funniest, most interesting person in the room, Lisa and I started talking to her and she's just graduated from Vassar and she's pre-med

and no one in her family has done this. Right, and your mom went to Vassar. Yeah, my mom. That was the other thing, you're like, oh, my mom went there. Yeah. Well, you know, when you graduate, I don't know if that's everybody,

but first thing you ask someone who looks around the same age is, so where'd you go to school? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and so I don't know. Do I know anyone there? Do we have anyone in common? Yeah.

But it just felt like, well, wait a minute, she's doing this. And she seemed very confident and like, well, yes, this is what I'm going to do. And... Well, I was confident once I saw you in the class, and I figured out what to do based on what you were doing. Cause I didn't understand the terminology at all. Like commit. It's like, I don't know what that means.

Commit, commit to being an actor. I don't know what that means. Right. Yeah. But you didn't see me do anything. I made a beeline for you right after you did the, you know, space ball or lift a disc. All this embarrassing stuff that you do.

But you did it with commitment. You weren't making a meal out of everything. You were just doing it and you just looked like you actually were lifting a disc or you actually were throwing a ball and everybody else was grr anger, you know, like, oh, and I thought I can't be part of this. I can't, I just can't. And you didn't, and I made a beeline for you. And said, hi, that was really good, I'm Lisa.

Well, you know, one of the things that's funny is you and I are both, this is, we were in improv together for all these, that's how we really got started. And there's aspects of improv that's, I'm sorry, it's embarrassing. There are parts and you're an incredible improviser and I moved on, got a writing job in New York at SNL. So Greg and I left.

So I was gonna, I think be in the groundlings. I was headed just about to go into it when I had to leave and we had done all these classes. You were going to, he was absolutely going to get voted into the Sunday company. But I was, which was gonna mean a lot to me. And then it's like, nope, paying job, gotta go. But what I recall most from that period was,

there's a side of both of us, this is a similarity we have where we wanna do it, but there's some embarrassing stuff that goes with doing improv and acting, these kind of exercises, and neither one of us had much patience for it. And I thought, is there something wrong with us? And I'm a fan of the show Hacks, and I was watching the third season of Hacks, and there's this great scene where Jean Smart

agrees to do some improv. And she goes backstage and all these kids that like, I forget where it is. It was on a university campus. It was on a university campus. Yeah. And they're all saying, hey, let's do zip, zap, zoom, zip, zap, zap, zap, zoom.

And she's there and she's established as one of the great comics of all time and she's achieved everything. And she goes, let she's established as one of the great comics of all time and she's achieved everything. And she goes, let's not do that. Let's just not do that. And then like, okay, let's do bit bop boo, a bit bop boo. And then they're pretending to throw things at each other.

And I thought it was such a great scene. And I thought of you because we've had it since where you and I have been asked to do improv. Yes, that's what I was thinking. For a good cause. And you and I will show up. And once again. Let's do warmups, everybody.

We're in an alley. What? We're in an alley. Oh no. Well, literally we were, remember this one? Yes. We were literally in an alley, like down by Sawtell. So we're in an alley outside with about 11 people

and it was for a good cause, but they said, okay, okay, we're gonna raise some money tonight. We're all gonna go out there. And first of all, it was way too many people. Like I think if there's more than, if there's like 40 people doing improv scenes together, I just think this is insanity. And then they were saying, let's do some,

okay, let's go, I'll say, bib-bop, bibbity-bee, and then you say, zip-dop, dibbity-doo, and you. And so I were saying, let's do some, okay, let's go, I'll say, Bip Bop Bippity Bee. And then you say, Zip Dap Dippity Doo. And you, and so I stopped it and said, is it okay if I just, I'll write you guys a check? Tell me what my presence here will raise for this really good cause and I'll write you a check. And then I just want to go home. And of course people were like, dude, what happened to you, man? You know, like I was letting down, you know, you lost the improv spirit. I'm like, I never liked this part.

I always hated this part. And then I'm just like this coward or get-along-to-go-along who's like, sure. And then it's my turn, and I just don't do it. Oh no, it's called passive aggressive. That's what it's called. Tell me more about this passive aggressive. I'd like to learn how to do it.

Not that it's funny because it's ironic, but. No, but that's, by the way, we also have that in common. Yes. We're so much therapy to stop being passive aggressive or manipulative in any way. But then I'm just passive aggressive to the therapist. I'm like, oh, well that's a good, I, oh, that's good advice.

Oh, oh, oh. That's really good advice. Is that passive aggressive? Shit. I thought that was just. Dick being an asshole. No. No. Am I in trouble?

Because no, that's very kind of you. Therapy is not the place to say exactly what you think. Because then the therapist can turn it on you. Right. Oh no. Never show a therapist your vulnerability. That's one thing I've learned. Because then they'll use that to turn it on you. Right. Oh no, wow, I'm in trouble. Never show a therapist your vulnerability. That's one thing I've learned,

because then they'll use that to try and get you. I know, by the way, this is not a bit for me. I mean every word I've just said, and I've learned a lot, I gotta go. I gotta go. I gotta go. Not until my blood pressure settles. So I gotta, I had this great front row seat

to knowing how crazy funny you were and how, you know, just fantastic you were. And then for a bunch of years, and then it was just to see you, not just nationally, but internationally, everyone go, yep, her, she's like the funniest. And I thought, how cool to see that beforehand. I don't know, that was an amazing thing to get to see.

And also to someone who's a really good person and deserves it. But that was passive aggressive. There were definite air quotes. Well, there's a difference between a lie and passive aggressive. I'm confused now. Tell me how to be. Oh, my God.

But that was really, that was cool. And one of my favorite, because you got married at the, was it the end of the first season? Yeah, right after the first season. Right before the show exploded. Yeah, so the show's been, it's been made, but it kind of blew up over the summer,

but it's just starting to blow up, and you have your wedding, and I'm invited, and you sat me, I've been doing Late Night for like a year, I think, or maybe year and a half, you sat me with the cast. I'll never forget, I have such a clear memory, because everyone was so young, and I'm sitting there, and I'm the vet.

I've been on TV for like a year and a half. And so I'll never forget there was this kind of Matt LeBlanc, especially, it was kind of like, huh, I mean, I don't know, what do you think is gonna happen? And I was like, I think you guys are good. I think you guys are good. And some people did it like, really? Do you think like, this is insane. And then I think right around that time, it became bigger than Catholicism, you know. Certainly more lucrative.

And I've seen the Vatican. I don't think so. Vatican is really looking shabby. But yeah. But by the way, same for me, to see you. Okay, here's what I have to say, that I know you had a hard time at first. I mean, I saw that you had a hard time, but you kept just being you, doing your comedy, and then everybody came around and realized,

it was like retractions, you know? Like, hey, we was like retractions, like, hey, we were wrong. Oh, this is what he does. Oh, this is who he is. It's not his fault. This is what he does. No, no, no, no.

No, it's like, oh, this is the comedy. It's hilarious. Once they figured it out, but you just kept- That was harrowing. Showing up as you, I know, cause you don't know. Are they ever gonna get it?

Are they ever gonna- No, and also they're telling you if people of America doesn't get it in the next three weeks, you're out of here. But that was huge. And I was hearing that a lot and then I would think,

no, we're still gonna do the weird thing tomorrow. But that was a huge life lesson for me. That- Really? Yeah. You just show up, you do what you do, either they get it or they don't. And if you get to be there long enough, they will. They're just gonna see, that's what you do. And it's different, but then they'll come around. And it was sort of like HBO shows, by the way,

where you're like, I've never seen anything like that. What the fuck is this? Oh yeah, you can say, what the fuck is this here? But, and then they go, okay, well, I guess this is what it is. And they come around and that's what you did by yourself and took everything and just kept showing up and kept doing it. It didn't affect you.

Oh, well. Wait a minute, I don't mean personally. I mean, every night on your show, it didn't affect you. Oh, well. Wait a minute, I don't mean personally. I mean, every night on your show. Right. It didn't, you behaved as if none of that was happening because you had a show to do. Your situation was so intense. And I saw you go through that,

which I can't even begin to imagine what that's like. And I know that that level of, oh my God, one of the friends is buying an avocado, we've got to get a photograph of it. Did you know what I mean? Yeah. Just the intensity of it. Yeah, but I mean, I don't remember it being too bad for me,

but there were six of us together going through it. I mean, the first time anything happened, we were doing the publicity stuff we have to do, and there was an entertainment weekly photo shoot. By the time we're done, it's dark out and we're all walking out to our cars, and in the parking lot, it was tons of paparazzi, like you're blinded by the flash bulbs.

Yeah, yeah. They're not just calling your name out. That was the other big, they're mad calling your, like, Lisa, Lisa, like, fuck you, you're not looking at my plans. David, just like screaming at all of us. And like, why are they angry? What happened?

What is this? It was terrifying. There's a flip side to that energy. It's, they're excited to see you and there's a great moment in that Scorsese movie, King of Comedy, where Jerry Lewis plays, basically Jerry Lewis, and he's walking down the street and everyone in New York is shouting out, Jerry, Jerry,

cause he's playing a big talk show host. Yeah. And he's, and a woman is on the phone. She's talking and she goes, Jerry, Jerry, talk to my son. And holds the phone out and Jerry Lewis just goes, can't right now. And she goes, you should get cancer. Yeah.

And I've always thought that as an amazing, it captures something that both of us have seen that there's this, those little magnets that flip instantly, oh, oh, oh, oh, fuck you. And so you're always dealing, and I think I'm always trying to get ahead of that and make sure everyone's happy, which can be a mistake. God bless.

Well, that actually only happened to me once in London, of course. Yeah. Where, I mean, I guess they're just so repressed there, right? I don't know. But I was there with my husband, it was kind of early on, but friends was big there. And we were in a department store and he left me to go look, you know, at the men's section, I don't know, something somewhere else.

Got an ascot, probably. To get an ascot. Or a barrette. Oh my god, that's right. Yeah, ascot, probably. To get an ascot. Or a beret. Oh my god, that's right. Yeah, a silk beret. And where do they have their berets? Yeah. No, you were.

I need a baguette. Uh-huh. I mean, these really, I'm sorry, Michelle, but you had- And a bicycle. So he went to the bicycle section with his baguette beret. And he was trying them out, and he was like,

uh-huh, uh-huh, go down, go down. I was just gonna say, and first he went down to the makeup department to draw a mustache. No, no, no, not a mime, not a mime. But anyway, so he stepped away for two seconds, which was long enough for a pack of women to come over. Like, oh, I won't do the accent. Right.

Oh, how exciting to see your own friends. Yeah, oh, could we get, do you mind signing this? Like, no, not at all. Oh, that's nice of you. Oh, I guess you shouldn't mind though, because you did sign up for it, didn't you? I mean, there really is no room to complain. And then one after another, you did ask for it.

Like they were getting mad at me. And you were giving them what they wanted. And I didn't say one word. They just did it all on their own from happy to see you to do we have, we need a rope and a tree branch. That's what it felt like, like a gallows. Like they went from who's so happy to see you

to string her up right now. How dare she? And my husband, and I just was getting kind of scared because I felt like it was two seconds away from getting physical and my husband appeared back and they stopped and just went, lovely to meet you and walked away. You don't know what just happened and you won't believe me because you didn't see it because when you came up,

I was like, that was so scary to me. I didn't say a word or do anything other than smile and start signing. Yeah. I've always felt like- Like a horror movie. Groups, like I always, the Beatles, they would say we had each other.

And I think that must've been a godsend that you guys could compare. You know, I was on the set once and could just see that like, I think at once we, I think at one point we were all near the sort of the dressing room area and everybody was just sort of chilling before we went out and did this thing we were going to shoot. And I thought, oh, they've kept each other in check pretty well, too, because not one of you is the star of the show, you know? You're accountable to five other people. That was great. That was really good. And I forget what I was going to say.

I'm concerned about you. Rope in a branch. Where's my blood pressure cuff? I'm just going to take mine off and put it on you. No one cares about me enough. Yeah. Because there was a backlash for us, like after two or three seasons, I don't remember. But we didn't know to stop. We're just doing what the network and studio were asking us all this publicity to do, and

we were way overexposed and and and so there was this big backlash and we I remember the six of us met because we were asked to do something and the discussion was do we do it or not because we always would discuss everything we were gonna do and what we realized was yeah let's not do it because really all we have gonna do. And what we realized was, yeah, let's not do it. Cause really all we have to do right now is just show up at work. Let's have like a moratorium on all the press and just show up. And I remember saying, or yeah,

I remember saying like Conan, like Conan, he just showed up, did his work every night, even though the press was rough when he started all that, you just show up, do your work, deal with the task at hand, and then it'll be okay. And so. And they were like, who's coming? That dork from the wedding?

No. No, they went that way. That nervous girl, what's that tall nervous girl from the wedding? But you know. But you know. But you know. But you know.

But you know. But you know. But you know. But you know. But you know. But you know, um. How do you know Tilda Swinton? She was at your wedding. Yeah. They seemed so, they were so happy to see me. And then I realized later it was cause I thought it was Tilda Swinton. She wasn't even famous then. They just said, you look like an actress that's about to break.

Do you, okay, you come off of Friends and then you can figure what's, how do, what do I do next? What are the next? And the projects that you did afterwards, to me, and Friends is fantastic, but I loved the comeback. Oh, thanks.

So much, and it's beloved. I hope you know that, but it's absolutely revered. And it was so well done that there were times when I was watching it that I got suckered in because we've talked about this, the actor who played the head writer, who was so cruel to you, and he's terrific actor. Yeah, Lance.

Lance, but he was really being a passive, it was just an incredibly acidic, mean, cooler than you, treating you terribly. And I was getting really upset on your behalf. Oh my God. And then I remembered there was some, where I am, I'm at some television academy thing and I meet him. And I swear to God, like I got, I was mad at him.

He's the nicest person on the planet. He's the nicest person, yes, I know. We ruined him. I mean, we, yeah. He can't work now. But- He's the dad on Young Sheldon. Yes, no, I know, I was making a joke. I didn't we, yeah. He can't work now. But. Well, no, he's the dad on Young Sheldon. Yes.

Oh, I know, I was making a joke. I didn't wanna. Okay. I watched Young Sheldon religiously. I don't want anyone to think we don't know that he's really successful. Yeah. Okay, well, yes.

He got his due. Yeah, of course he did. I don't think you needed to ruin the rhythm of everything for that. Okay. Young Sheldon. I just want everybody to be happy. What if he listens and then.

Can we get a, when do, how come people see young Sheldon, when's it on? I think it's. What's it? CVS? Oh, it's over now. But it's streaming. Okay, it's streaming.

You can see young Sheldon on streaming. It's on Paramount Plus. That's all the time we have. Come on everyone, help Chuck Lorre. He's only got 15 syndicated shows. I'm sending up a fund for him and for Greg Daniels. We're gonna get them both. I know, Greg.

Taking care of him. Back on your feet. Get him back on his feet. But what's nice is you did that and you had me as a guest on Web therapy. Web therapy. Yeah, thanks for that.

And yeah, I really helped you out. It did, yes you did. But what I'm saying is you chose these projects that were really smart and right for you. What's cool is I think you got these fans who I'm sure know friends, like friends, like you on friends, but then you got to, I don't know, that takes, I think, I think you made very smart moves

and that sounds too calculated, but- Yeah, because it wasn't. It wasn't, you just, you went out and you made stuff that interested you with really talented partners and I think there's a bunch of- That was the smart part. There's a bunch of people who love that. They just, they love that work. Yeah.

And it's you getting to be, show a completely different side of what you can do than you maybe got to do on Friends. Yeah, that's true. I do credit you with- I don't know what to say. Yes, you know, what's really brilliant about me. Yeah. I just credit you with- I don't know what to say. Yes, you know, what's really brilliant about me. Yeah.

I just, this is serious. You did though, because I got a good hunk out of this for some sort of a one-man show type thing I had to do. It wasn't a one-man show, but it was like I had to do like 40 minutes. But I got such a good chunk out of, and this is all to your credit,

where who do you think you are? And I'm sure we've talked about it, but you said, Conan, you're gonna have such great ancestry, and I told you I wouldn't, and you said, no, no, no, everyone says that, but then it turned out they're related to Charlemagne, and they're related to Joan of Arc, and they're related to-

I wasn't saying you were gonna be related to Charlemagne. Charlemagne the god. It's different. I am shocked you know who that is. Aren't you, Eduardo, aren't you shocked? Shocked. You have no idea the knowledge I have. You have no idea.

Yes, we do know the knowledge you have and it doesn't involve it. Charlamagne the God's my guy. There's a Charlamagne the God? Yes. Yeah, huge entertainer. On what show? He hosts the radio. Oh, it's a person. Yeah, he's podcast host. Calls himself Charlemagne the God? Yes. Yeah, huge entertainer. On what show? He hosts the radio.

Oh, it's a person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's podcast host. Calls himself Charlemagne? Yeah, Charlemagne the God. He thinks a lot of himself. Yeah. Charlemagne the God. Yeah. That's his thing.

Hello, here we go. Oh no. Oh, hold on. We don't have to hold our breath through this. This is why we don't think you would know who Charlemagne the God is, because we're listening to your blood pressure thing. So you're saying no one who knows who Charlamagne the God is

is doing a 24-hour blood pressure cup check. I'm holding it up to a microphone so everyone else can hear it. I just, I want to get the word out on this device. The Oscar II is fantastic. It's getting to the throbbing part, which I don't like. It makes me uncomfortable. That will be going back to the doctors later today.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow at 11. Or will it? If you want to meet me on Pico Boulevard, down sort of near Highland. Do they meet? I can't remember. It's all a blur. Who's they? Who's meeting you? The streets. The black market. The streets. The streets. The streets meet.

Yeah. I'm sorry, I've been, every day I'm driven to work in a stretch Hummer with murdered out windows. So I don't know what's going on. The black market medical device gang. Anyway. So specific. You were so positive.

So I gave you guys the whatever, cheek swab, nothing. I hear bup kiss, nothing, nothing, nothing. And then I had to call you and say, hey, what's going on with the big special we're gonna do about all my insh- The big special. You said, there's nothing. I know.

There's nothing. No, I didn't. There's nothing. No, I didn't. You're trash. Well, here's why you didn't hear from me because we'd get our updates from research and I kept saying, keep looking I didn't. You're trash. Well, here's why you didn't hear from me, because I kept, we'd get our updates from research and I kept saying, keep looking, come on.

It's Conan. You're going to find something, come on. Like there's nothing. And they're saying, no, but everybody in Ireland has the same name. Oh. And in the families, they named the kids the same names after Reardon's and everyone, like, we don't know which of these people. And I said, well, we think it's this family.

And they had something so fascinating and interesting. And they said, well, we can't definitely verify that that's his family. It's like, well, I almost said, do it anyway. He can decide if it's his family. Fake it. You don't know what he knows. What was the thing that was so interesting?

I don't remember. Really, clearly. I don't remember. So one of the things about- It was really interesting. Your string of unsolved murders in 1810. Kind of. Sort of.

See, you do know about it. And it was his family though. It is family lore. ["Family Loar"] Proof though that all this cool stuff that you've done after Friends is that you get this call from Taika Watiti. Yeah.

And Jemaine Clement. Texted me. From, oh, he texted you. Yeah. Can we make it a call? It's more dramatic. Okay, yeah. No, he reached out on social media.

But I'm just picturing. I just want to see an old Bakelite phone ringing. Okay. And you pick it up. It was an old Bakelite phone. And you've got like cold cream on your face. Yes, and a curio lens. It's like, yeah. You've got it up. It was an old, bake-a-like phone. And you've got like cold cream on your face. Yes.

And a curio lens. It's like, yeah. You've got a call and it's an operator. This is Wrigley50255. A Taiko Watiti's calling. I'll take it. Who? Yeah.

Oh. Michelle's in the background throwing a medicine ball around with like a 19- Darling, hush. It's the head of the studio. LAUGHTER But they called you and apparently they're like, we... They've always wanted to work with you, they've always been fans, and they've been waiting for the right thing, and they have this project, Time Bandits.

And so... And so I said yes. Of course. Because it's Tyka and Jermaine Clement. Come on.its. And so- So I said yes. Of course. Because it's Tyka and Jemaine Clement, come on. Yeah, and then I think that's- Jemaine Clement, yes, everyone's nodding, that's right. I didn't know at the time, I just know that we got together,

Liza and I and you, Michelle, we got together and you said, well, I'm leaving, we gotta go now because I'm leaving in two days to go to New Zealand. New Zealand for six months. For six months. And I thought that you had committed a crime. I gotta get out. But now I know what it was for.

Committed a crime. I can't tell you why, but I have to go to New Zealand for six months and then everything should blow over and I'll be back. I gotta lay low. You know me. I gotta lay low. You know me. I gotta lay low. You know me.

No, I know you. That's not to ask. So this thing's incredible. First of all, I got to see the first episode and in the first episode, everything pretty much gets ramps up very quickly. But this is, I'm seeing you do something, this is action adventure comedy.

Yeah, I was running around. You are running a lot. Talk about blood pressure. And I was watching it thinking, I know Lisa doesn't like this. Yeah. I know for a fact, she'd be like, oh, why, why, stop with the noises.

No, no, it's fake, but you've got to hear it and then run. Did you not? I don't know. No, it wasn't that bad. Wasn't that bad. Except the explosion on the ship. Yeah, that was like, so, you know, you all, be where you were in your places.

Be careful that you don't touch the barrel. Like what? And I've got Kaleo, who's the freakishly talented kid, right? Yeah, he's great. Kaleo talk with me and I went, what? What do you mean? No, it's not gonna, it's not gonna blow up now.

Like, right, but don't touch it. Okay. Okay, but we have to run by it. So don't bump into it anybody, you know. Yeah. And we run by, and then we're off the set, and they're like, no, no, that's not going to blow up. We'll switch it out. And we leave, and one of the, another guy in the cast, like, sort of stayed behind and

looked, and it was just, they didn't move anything. That thing blew up. And I was like, okay, let's have a health and safety talk. Now. Right now, yeah. No, not right now. And I was like, okay, let's have a health and safety talk. Now. Right now, yeah. No, not right now. It was later after I found out, like that was the,

what are you doing? No, don't do that. Don't trick us into being next to explosives. A barrel of explosives, yeah. But did you like making it? Was it fun to do? Yeah, it was really, it was, it was really fun. And it was COVID, so it was COVID hours,

which means only 10 hour shoot days. God bless COVID. I know. Sorry, that's gonna come across. You know, a lot of people die. I'm sorry. It's fine. But you weigh things.

Better hours on a shoot plus mass deaths, and then you weigh it. Hollywood celebrities, I don't know, things balance out. Yeah. There's gonna be some blowback on that and that's gonna be on me. I like that my take on this is what's the joke? He's only saying what we're all thinking.

Yeah, it was very, very, it was really fun. And that place isn't that place. How condescending. We were in Wellington. It's the most beautiful place on earth. I mean, nothing has changed. I've never been to New Zealand. I wanna go, yeah.

We were running around in forests. We would go on location and we're running around in forests and no, no, this has been untouched and there's no development anywhere near here. And this is how it's been since about the time that we are pretending to shoot in, right now. Right. Oh my God, it was really, that was thrilling. It was so beautiful.

It was. And everyone was nice. I was blown away. The show looks spectacular. Yeah. And you get to be, again, it's funny to see you do your comedic rhythm in over the top action adventure, but it's you.

Do you know what I mean? It's a version of you. Good. The first couple of weeks I was panicking. Like, I don't know what I'm doing. I think I'm doing like five different characters. Like a couple of times I think I'm doing Valerie Cherish. And then I think I'm doing the woman from Web Therapy now.

Guys, someone direct me, help me. And Ty went to Ty, I said, I'm really struggling here. And he and Jemaine went, are you? I said, yes. What? Haven't you can't tell? Nah, looks the same to me. And I'm like, oh no, you have to give me notes.

And he said, okay. I don't know what notes I would give you. Oh no, oh no, what's going to happen? They think they can trust me and they can't. They've made a terrible mistake. They've made a terrible mistake. A voice that goes through all of our heads all the time. I'm gonna be on the next ship back to the US.

I'll just take this prop galleon and go home. Then it was fun. Can I ask you, is this true? I think it was Jen Aniston said, she said that when you guys are doing friends, that you don't, it just occurred to me right now, Lisa doesn't like it when the audience is laughing. It's something she's said.

Like you're, you would say something and it would get a big laugh and it would irritate you. Cause they were laughing for too long. It wasn't that funny. That's why it wasn't an honest response. And it irritated me. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's like now you're just ruining the timing

of the rest of the show. I mean, there are other lines. I didn't say it. Sometimes I would just look out. They'd be laughing too long it. Sometimes I would just look out. They'd been laughing too long and sometimes I would just look out and go, come on. Really angry. I can see that.

But I understand, but no, I would happily let those laughs splash along. Because a TV show is not for the studio audience. It's made for the TV viewers at home. Mm-hmm. So that's who we're in service to. If it were a stage play, yeah, laugh as long as you want. I'll figure out things to keep my character busy.

Waiting to continue with it. That's fine, you know, but then it's being filmed and now I'm just sort of like standing there and then you do like things that you hate, you know, just like, nah, that's right, I said that, you know. And, oh, it's terrible. I think they instructed our audience not to do anything like that.

Right. Yeah. I like a warmup person who tells the crowd, don't laugh. Well, we did so many takes, they did stop laughing. Yeah. Which then made the writers think, all right, it doesn't work. It's like, well, it worked. It worked the first time and then, all right,

well, let's come and so they'd come up with alternates. Right. We took six to eight hours to shoot a half hour. Wow. But all I knew was, you're going to take the laugh track from the first take anyway and move it to whichever take this is. So who's suffering because they're not laughing?

I'm okay if they're not laughing as hard. We can keep going. Right. We can. Yeah, I don't know. But it wasn't up to me. Yeah. Because I was just an actor on a show. Do you have distance on that now? Like when you see,

because it's ubiquitous, when you see a friend's on, does that affect you in any way or is it just? Well, I used to not be able to watch it at all. I mean, I'd see it on and be like mildly interested. And then I'd see me and say, that's enough of that. I can't bear it. And then, well, listen, after Matthew died, I could start watching the show again

because it wasn't about me. It had to do with him for some reason. And so I have started watching Friends, not started like season one and you know, but there are marathons on and I have spent at times since he died all day long watching the show. That's interesting and now you can see and you can enjoy the show, you can enjoy Matthew,

you can enjoy what he's doing. Yeah, everyone is phenomenally hilarious to me. You started doing that show and you called me up and... Uh-oh. You would... I don't have an eye for what's gonna be a hit. Well, no, no, no, no. I wanna say that.

No, no, no, that was nothing like that. Okay, great. You called me up and you were raving about... Matthew. About Matthew. Yeah. And you were saying he's so funny and there was part of me,

there was part of me that was jealous. Like I was, okay. Yeah. I make you laugh pretty hard. And you were like, no, you don't understand. This guy's really. No, I wasn't that bad. No, no, no, no, no, you weren't.

But I'm just saying, I think that's human. Is it? What? I was just surprised, I think that's human. Is it? What? I was just surprised you classified it as part of you was jealous. Yeah. Instead of the entire being. What I meant, I was excluding bone.

Like bone and sinew. But my entire spirit. I see. No, there was part of me that was just like, and then I was watching him and going, yep. Yeah. Well, no, because, I mean, you are the funniest person I know. No, no, no.

That's not what this is about. One of the funniest people I know. Well, now it's hard to hear, you see. Yeah, yeah. But it is true. That's just a fact. But I was so... But he was such a huge...

I thought that Chandler character when I read it, I went, oh, they have a gay character. That's good. I thought that's all I heard. That's all I heard. So at the table read, I just did a double take at him. Oh my God. I never even in a million years could have envisioned

anyone playing the character like that and with his own rhythm and everything. It's his own. Impeccable timing and- Impeccable timing, but also just, I mean, honest to God, shooting those titles in the fountain was a nightmare. I don't like discomfort, but at all, mild, any kind. I don't like it. Right.

Right. And that fountain was cold and it was very late at night. We'd done, I think, 500 takes of dancing, unmotivated dancing is hard too, right? That's just, it's hard. When one's in a fountain, one does dance. When a bunch of young New Yorkers are in a fountain, they dance.

You know, and then the, hey, what if you play with that scarf, you know, stuff, and you just get like, no, I don't want to, it's not funny, I don't want you. I was a real joy. But, and it was so cold and we had to keep doing it. And Matthew, and they said, we're going to do one more take. And he said, one more? Okay. Can't remember a time I wasn't in a fountain.

Seriously, have you? Can't remember a time I wasn't in a fountain. Seriously, have you? Can't remember a time I wasn't wet. What are we wet? What are we wet in a fountain? What are we dancing in a fountain? Yeah, I mean. And this is before the show has even come on. Right.

So that's also important to know is no one's a star. This is, you're seeing. And it wasn't in, they hadn't written him like that yet. Yeah. And I don't know when I've laughed so hard, just, and so I'm not kidding, you see us laughing. Yep. And it's because he had just said,

and then going, all right, ready? We're gonna go again. Where are we going again? Are we gonna do it again? And just laughing hysterically doubled over. And that's in the titles. Yeah. That was Matthew.

He came on our show not long after that and showed up early. And so we got to hang around and talk to him. And he was so excited. They had just shot the episode with Jill Goodacre where he's trapped in a ATM. Vestibule. Vestibule with Jill Goodacre and.

I just wanted to say vestibule, I swear. I remembered the word, sorry, go on. I'm ruining your timing now. No, but. It's. Oh, bring it on. Too much. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum I'm ruining your timing now. No, but it's... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha in the outside in the sixth floor. He was just so filled with joy and excitement. He was saying, and I got to shoot the scene with Jill Goodacre, Jill Goodacre, she's beautiful.

I was like, this sounds, he was like, it's all going so well. As everything plays out, it's terribly, terribly sad. But I just have this tiny, terribly, terribly sad, but I, you know, and I just have this tiny, tiny fraction of moments here and there with him. But I inevitably go back to those moments where

he was, you know, at the wedding and early on and when I would see him and he was just so happy, so talented, so I mean, that's a little bit of a blessing is when you can go back and see that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, and also look, that was, everyone was so excited. And I think for some people, and he was definitely one of them,

it's, oh my God, this would be really good. Everything will be fixed now, you know? Yeah. That's not how it goes. Well, we've seen that a lot, which is if people take, and I try to, I think I bring this up a lot, but I think there's, I've seen a lot of people become famous or get famous or start in a certain place.

And I've had an interesting vantage point on it. And what I've seen time and time and time again, which I wish I could tell people is, there's a lot that's kind of nice that is nice about being successful and that's nice about having someone be happy to see you. It doesn't fix anything. Something is broken. If something is cracked or something needs mending, it will not fix any of that. In fact, it probably hurts. Yeah, because the disappointment that it hasn't. And the rage, wait a minute, I got the thing I wanted,

now I'm famous, I got the house, I got the attention, and why the fuck isn't this fixed? It's like, well, that's a whole, this is a clear broth. This isn't gonna do anything for that. Yeah, I mean, I fixed? And it's like, well, that's a whole, this is a clear broth. This isn't gonna do anything for that. Yeah, I mean, I do feel that it's like, cause I remember thinking that before, you know, when I was struggling

having my ramen noodles every night and everything and thought like someone I know, like would become famous or something. And I'd think, oh God, see, yeah. Then if everyone loves you, then, you know, you'll give yourself, you'll love you. Like without even realizing how sick that was, it was like, yeah, that's what, that's the healing power of fame.

And luckily I had therapy before Friends and did understand, but I know it's at the root of all that is like, yeah, because if everything goes well and everybody loves me, then I will submit to loving myself too. And I think that's the problem. I mean, I think we think there's something shameful in loving yourself or you're gonna be an asshole if you do, but that's not what love is.

So I've gotta go, cause I think I've just healed all of you. Your blood pressure dropped 20 points just now. And you're welcome. There's all the things that people know about you being incredibly funny and brilliant and having this great just career. I don't know that people understand how wise you are.

Of all my friends, which is fortunately for me, I know a lot of people, I think you're one of the wisest people I know. Come on. I'm serious. No, in terms of like, in terms of people, in terms of, just take, just- Just stop lying.

In terms of, in terms of people, you've always been people and what life really is and what's important. I think you're very gifted that way. So I think we're gonna end on that. And thank you so much for coming in, seriously. And congratulations on the new show, cause I love it.

And the idea that these very impossibly cool guys called you up and said, we've always wanted to work with you, you, Lise Kudrow, that's just, it's so, it makes perfect sense to me. Oh, thanks. And it's very cool. It was thrilling for me. All right. Thanks.

Well, next time come up with a better, you know, Conan O'Brien blank, you know. I'm perfectly happy, through, honored. Yeah! Grateful, I said again, about being Conan O'Brien's friend. There you go. That's it.

With anger. That's it. Is the anger. Conan O'Brien needs a friend. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam Avsesian, and Matt Gorley. Produced by me, Matt Gorley. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Nick Leow, and Jeff Ross at Teamian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Nick Leow, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwulf.

Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnik. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Battista, and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan?

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