Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Luke Wilson

Episode Date: August 29, 2022

Actor Luke Wilson feels that, on the advice of his counsel, it’s best that he agree to be clear about being Conan O’Brien’s friend. Luke sits down with Conan to chat about interacting with the pioneers of his craft, mastering his put-upon film persona, taking inspiration from MAD Magazine, and more. Later, Gourley mourns how the tragic power of the podcast has ruined a small part of his life. Got a question for Conan? Call our voicemail: [phone]. For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com.

Hi, my name's Luke Wilson, and I feel that on the advice of my counsel, it's best that I've agreed to be clear about being Conan O'Brien's friend. Okay, hold my seconds. Oh, that checks. That's a lovely way to start. It could have been a wonderful interview. Hello, and welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, fine program for you in this installment. How does it work in podcasting?

Episode. It's an episode. Yeah. Okay. Do you know what you're doing? I don't. I really don't know what these are. You know, for years, I'd say welcome to the show tonight.

Right. Even that wouldn't apply anymore because now it's the streaming era, so God knows when people are seeing things. But so much of my life for so long was this is the show tonight, folks, and now we live in this other world where someone may download this so far so good, 35 years from now. True. And it should feel as relevant to them then as it does to us now. To a certain extent.

You know, that's why I like to try and keep these things evergreen. I don't mention who's president. I never refer to anything that's happened in the news. I like to say generic things like, well, it sure is good. That the human race still exists. You know what you are? What? You're the top gun maverick of podcasting.

I am. Because they don't mention the war and even the enemy fighters are called fifth generation fighters and it's the most benign, non-offensive enemy. This is my favorite thing. I went to see the, and I really enjoyed it. I really loved the movie. It was really fun. But when it was over and the lights came up, I turned to my son and I said, now, why were

we at war with Vermont? Because they just really intrigued me that you don't know what the country is. They don't really say, but it looks a lot like Vermont. Yeah. It's snow peak tails and evergreen trees. And then my son was like, well, you know, they were trying to corner, I don't know. He said they had a secret production facility that was making maple syrup. And that's what we had to destroy.

So we were just riffing off that, but it was so funny to me like, Vermont went and did it. Yeah. They threw down on us. We've got to go after them. Bernie went rogue. But I loved the bad guys in that movie. Again, it was so good at like, okay, they seem nefarious.

I don't know why that country had such better fighters than we did. Right. It doesn't make sense. And I thought, no, we spend a lot of money on our military. I'd like to speak to someone in our war department. Why do we have far inferior fighter planes to Vermont? It just doesn't seem right. So I went to see that movie and when at the end, not, it's not really a spoiler, but there

is a point where they end up in a classic F 14 fighter jet. I looked down at my seat, F 14. What? Yeah. Oh. In the theater. Oh, I thought you were referring to your cock as a fighter jet. Wait, I.

I thought, that's what I thought you were doing. Like I looked down at my pants. What? F 14. You dirty devil. I'm confused. What do you mean? I was in the theater.

I was in row F. Oh, come on. Wow. Oh, God. You guys. It's an incredible story. First of all, you're talking. I'm a top gun.

No, you guys are talking about keeping this podcast evergreen and you're talking about a movie that just came out. Hey, when I watched the first Star Wars, when it was over, I looked down at my seat. It was seat C3PO. Come on. See, this guy knows what I'm talking about. So how do I get with this? Yes.

What movie did you see and you looked down in your seat? Don't, don't do that. Well, please. Don't make me think. I don't know. What's the number? 187. No.

First, you got to think of it. I went to a blank seat. I went to a blank 187. Oh, shit. 182. You gave me hell about that one. You burned in hell. Wait, what did I give you?

187. Yes. Right now. I got it wrong once and you gave me hell about it. I was doing a funny riff on how you got it wrong. He got it wrong the first time. No, I did. Wait, he did?

I think he did. I think I got it wrong the first time. I think that's the second. That's multiple times that he's gotten it wrong. He got it wrong the first time and this was my clever callback to him getting it wrong. So I win once again. I'm sorry. What's this?

Oh, I'm getting an award. Wow. Conan wins again award. It's a tissue. I've won 750 million of these in my lifetime. A tissue box? Well, it looks like a tissue box to you. But those of us in the know know that that's not a puffs plus lotion tissue box.

That is an award for once again winning. Anyway, go check out the new Top Gun movie. Evergreen. Evergreen. Yeah, exactly. This is his Evergreen. Because you know what? Tom Cruise will put out another one in 35 years.

Yeah, in 35 years. So this will still be relevant. Check it out. Don't get monkey pox. Yes. Who won the cup? I don't know. I'll salute President Joe Rogan.

Oh, God. Oh, please. He's built for politics. All right, let's go. Big show. I'm still trying to think of a movie with a number. I'm sorry. I'm still stuck on that.

I got really nervous and I just blew it. Sorry. What about... Guess what? I remember I once saw a really good movie about Sparta and I looked down at my seat afterwards. I was in sitting in row 300. Nice. Okay.

Yeah, that's really good. That's really good, right? All that. I went to see a classic screening of Deliverance and I looked down and I saw that I was sitting in row, row, row, you're both. Oh, God. That's it. I'm going to introduce the guest.

We should do that. I was thinking of numbers. No, I'm sorry. I can't do the things that you guys do. You're my brains, not like you. You can't do what Gorley just did. That's good. Just try and match me.

That means you have no tumor. Try. That means you're going to live. He's got something. He's got something. He's got something. Can I look down? Yes.

And this better be good. This better be good. I was on a screening of Kindergarten Cop when I looked down and I saw that I was seated in row. It was not a tumor. That's not even a... Don't stand in the quotes, though. You're just ruining the thing.

The premise from the beginning. That doesn't line up at all. I'm trying to think of another... You're out of order. And you're... No. She had a great ass. She's out of control.

I was on a few good men and I was sitting in and you can't handle the truth. There you go. There you go. Row two can't handle the truth. No, man. What? I don't know. I don't want to...

No, come on. I can't do this. Unbelievable. Got you. My guest today. He started such films as the Royal Tenant Bombs, Legally Blonde and Old School. Now you can see him in the new Netflix movie Look Both Ways. Very excited to chat with this fellow today.

I really like this gentleman. Luke Wilson. Welcome. Luke, I think you're fantastic. I have an immediate affection for this guy whenever I see him. You and I saw each other at a sushi restaurant a number of years ago. I instantly had the thought, why isn't this guy my friend? This is before I even had the podcast.

We were both waiting for our table, and I saw you sort of skulking in the corner like a rat. I don't know why I threw that in. Maybe that's why you're not my friend. You've got to paint a picture. No, and I immediately thought, because we talked about music, you're always really funny. I've always loved talking to you on the show, and you're always very authentic.

And I thought, I just really like this guy. Why aren't we friends? And then I figured there must be a reason. There's something. There's some kind of mustard seed of discontent that's lodged between us. Well, that's really nice of you to say that. I've always felt the same way, and on my way here, I was talking to a high school friend of mine.

He said, you're going to be on Conan's show. You're never going to be able to keep up with Conan. You know the way you are. You take your time. You're slow with things. I was like, geez, maybe you're right, because whenever I've run into him, it's been for like two, three minutes, where I'll just fly high. And then, you know.

Well, it's funny, because I was driving here on the way to this podcast recording, and I was thinking, Luke's never going to be able to keep up with me. Just there's no way. He's got that kind of charming, but slow, Dallas, Texas approach. I'm coming in all hot Boston mass. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, no. It's really true.

You're just waiting for your cooking those ribs up real slow. Taking 12 hours to still cook that brisket. You've got that lobster boy. You've got that hot chowder, you're just slinging the chowder. I'm just slinging that chowder to my face, getting horribly burned. You've got your feet up. You know, you've got your Martin guitar, you're plucking a blues tune. You're just waiting for those ribs to cook up.

Maybe someone from Mary Kay Cosmetics is going to come by. That's a Dallas favorite. You're listening to Jump Around. I'm right down the road. I got myself an extreme departure. And all my white friends who are just thugs, and we're just jumping around to some kind of. Quoting the departed.

I'm quoting Lonesome Dog. Exactly. How can we be friends? We come from such different worlds. You know, even the Everly brothers, they didn't get along. They really didn't get along, but they made beautiful music. Beautiful music. They harmonized.

They harmonized. And maybe that's, you know, I'm far down the neck, you're way up the neck, and together it makes a beautiful sound, you know? I agree with you. I think we should end it here. Yeah. It's not going to get better than this. No, it's not.

And that was about my three or four minutes that my friends and I had in me, you know? I feel that he was right. Yeah. You know, Lonesome Dog is a little accidents of fate that come up in my life. You know, you have those deja vu moments, or there's something in the air yesterday. My wife has no idea that you're coming on the show, none at all. And we're trying to think of a funny, really great, funny movie to show my son. And we're constantly trying to think of, you've probably had this where you want to watch

a good movie, you want to show someone a good movie, and you're faced with all the movies in the world, and you're trying to think of what's the funny one on my wife and I are trying to, and we've shown him so many good movies, and then my wife out of the blue just said, Bottle Rocket. And I was like, yeah, Bottle Rocket. And then I said, you know, I'm talking to Luke tomorrow, and she was like, on the podcast, and I said, no, I'm just going to his house to talk to him through his window. I was a real wise ass, which I don't often do with my wife, and I'm like, no, I'm going

to go to his house and talk to him through his window. And she was like, fuck off. And I said, I want a divorce. And so that's ending. But we brought up Bottle Rocket yesterday, and then I realized that's the first time I heard of you, Owen, Wes, Anderson, was I think in, what about 96 or 95, when my late night show was still really new, there was this movie I was talking about, Bottle Rocket. And that's kind of, I mean, I knew you guys were making shorts before that, but this was

your first. Yeah, that was the first movie we made, Bottle Rocket. And yeah, I think it was about, I think we might have made it in about 94, 95, and then they wanted to sit on it for a year because they could feel that it was such a groundbreaking film. It's really got to take the town by storm. But no, I think it wound up coming out in about 97. But yeah, that would have been when I first met you.

Yeah. And I know that, I wasn't sure, did you come on the show then for Bottle Rocket? I know that Owen did. And I remember thinking, does this guy have a brother I would prefer? Is there an alternate? Is there a younger preferable brother? And sure enough, because you ended up, you and I, you've been on the show a lot and I've always clicked with you, but that's the first time I saw you guys, this is that movie, which

I really loved. And then another thing that's been on the atmosphere lately is James Kahn just passed and he's in that movie and he's terrific. Because I saw him, how amazing that you're these two young guys, these punks who make this movie and you got the great James Kahn to be in it. Yeah, he was so great on that movie and I think probably what got him into it was the fact that James L. Brooks was producing it. Because yeah, we were, it was Wes Anderson and then Owen and Andrew and myself.

Yeah, I think he probably would have just done it on the strength of James L. Brooks. I don't know that the script maybe would have appealed to him that much, but yeah, he couldn't have been nicer. Actually went to the, in Santa Monica, they were showing the Wild Bunch last night on 70 millimeter and went to see it. And a guy named Paul C. Doar, like a Peck and Paw scholar and writer, gave a little speech before, but he had a, he mentioned James Kahn and David Werner and two other guys from kind of the Peck and Paw stable.

And then he had a little moment of silence for those guys, which was really nice. He had it in the movie theater and, but yeah, James Kahn, he, you know, he was, El Dorado has been on lately and just incredible to think that that guy would have been connected back to, you know, Robert Mitchum and John Wayne and he couldn't have been nicer to us on the movie. I think there were definitely, you know, when he died, I was kind of talking with Owen about it, just saying those first couple of days, he could definitely see in his eyes like, hey, what am I doing here?

I'm in a trailer and a parking lot in Dallas. These guys are very odd. But then he, but then he really kind of warmed up to us. And you know, it was one of those people that was really fun to talk to about different movies he worked on. You know, we were asking him about Brando and he was like, yeah, you know, Brando, it was like, it was like you guys with me. And that really was kind of how we were.

Isn't that crazy when just someone like that can drop a name like Brando and then somehow liking it to you and you think, no, yeah, I mean, yeah, but it's just so amazing because I know you guys are incredible film buffs, you and your brother just like really as kids, you know, growing up in Dallas, you were really into film really in the movies. And I got to be friends with Harry Dean Stanton over the years and got to work with him a couple of times and Harry Dean was one of those guys, you know, wouldn't text so you'd have to call him and call and have these kind of funny long conversations. And then he'd kind of click off and take a call and a couple of times he'd click back

over and say, I got to go. That's Marlon. Oh my God. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. Just unbelievable. And then those guys would chat about, you know, how they were both nothing and nothing mattered. Yeah.

I was at a party once and I'm a huge Beatles fanatic in Paul McCartney's there. And I come into, I walk into a room and he's there playing a guitar and he's playing it upside down and backwards because it's strung for righty. And I just said, wow, I don't know how you do that. And he's like, oh, you know, when I was growing up in Liverpool, you know, I bought Nick Jones guitar and if I had, you know, and I'd play it this way, it was the only way I could because I'm lefty. But if I had restrung it, he had crippled me and I'm like, you can't just talk about

John like that. You know what I mean? It's the same thing. I got my bandos on the line, I got to go. And then I just think I'm not in this reality. Well, I mean, it is incredible to me and I mean, I think about it now when people like James Condeye is that, you know, you're, we're kind of the same age, but we did, we're lucky enough to know people like that, you know, from, you know, the fifties and stuff like

that. Oh my God, I think about that all the time. And then to think that, you know, Paul, you know, the kind of the first generation or the maybe the second generation of rock and roll. It's that, you know, these guys who really were pioneers, so pretty incredible, the chance you get to talk to somebody. I, anytime I'm even in the room, even I don't get to talk to them. If I'm just in the room on our late night show, once we had Scotty Moore was on, who

was Elvis's original guitarist and he's in the room in Sun Session at Sun, at Sun Studios when they just accidentally are messing around and they cut, that's all right, mama. And he's with Bill Black and it's part of the original lineup. And he was on the show and he was messing around with the band. And I just said, you know, excuse me, Mr. Moore, could you show me how you play the solo in That's All Right, Mama, you know. And he said, oh yeah, sure, it goes like this. And he does it.

And his hands are doing the same thing they did in 1954 when he and this very strange kid, truck driver, yeah, truck driver, changed the world. I always have the same feeling, which is, I don't deserve to be here seeing this, you know, it's just an immediate, but then I think, well, just be here. You know what, I want to ask you this, I didn't realize that you guys grew up in an Irish Catholic household, which I never, I never knew that until I did a little reading today on you guys, you know, I've had a guy following you for a while. So I know what you've been up to.

I picked that up when you walked in talking about Dallas Tex. So I always knew that. That I knew. And you've always had it in for you guys, because it did. Yeah, my parents are from, my dad's from a little town in Belmont, right, beside Boston, and then my mom's from a town called Norwell. And yeah, I guess we're Irish Catholics. I guess it's cool to tell you of all people that.

You can tell me that. At least, I mean, you could be, you know, you can, I don't know. I mean, you could be Lutheran, you could be Episcopalian. Me, there's no getting around it. No one knows. If I come into the room and say, oh, I was just at Temple, they're like, no, you weren't. You, you know, you could be one of those submarine guys. You never know quite what's going on.

I was, I was watching a, you know, Jiminy Glick, I always know a lot of those things. Oh my God. Great Martin Short. I was watching a couple of those a couple of weeks ago, and then somehow it just led right into you and Martin Short talking. And it was a long talk that you guys had. He started talking about, you know, Irish Catholic families, and then you were talking about, you thought coming from your kind of larger family really affected your timing

and things like that. But I kind of, kind of agree with stuff like that when you're in a family like that, that it can kind of forge. Well, because was your, was, for example, was your dad funny? Did he like humor? He must have been. Yeah. He was a pretty funny guy.

You know, I think he got kind of driven crazy by us, you know, his three sons at times, but he definitely had a good sense of humor. And he had a couple of friends that were really, really funny and they wouldn't edit themselves because you were, you know, seven or 11 years old. So yeah, he had some, he had some good, funny friends, but that was, that was one thing that was funny that Martin Short said in the interview with him, he was talking about his father. He said he was, you know, worked for a steel company and was kind of a serious guy. And he had a bar in his office, but he wouldn't touch it during the daytime and he'd get

home at the end of the day and make himself a drink and then read the newspaper while the family was eating and then just occasionally say that you don't shovel the food into your mouth. Yes, yes, yes. And then he jumped up and said, Mark, you just, you keep eating, I'll keep the animals away. I mean, that to me seemed like really, really funny guy, but just kind of, you know, in that kind of businessman mode and then being around, I mean, you can't imagine how funny

Martin Short must have been back then when he was being kind of reigned in probably by teachers and. Yeah. Well, Marty used to get underneath the table and he talks about this and he's written about it, but he used to get underneath the table and record. His father and his father was from Ireland, so he had an Irish accent and he would record stuff because even then he was really into, I've got to capture all of this. And so sure enough, even, I mean, you can imagine Marty Short, I imagine him just having

the same head that he has today as an adult or just a little kid's body. Being under the table and recording everything that's being said and thinking, you know, I'm going to use all of this in SCTV and then movies and everything for the rest of my life and make everybody pay. I think a lot of it's not just, you know, maybe being funny or saying something funny. It's also just absorbing, you know, funny things that happen or, you know, teasing that happens to you, just kind of taking it in. And I mean, I was kidding around with Owen's youngest son, who's like seven.

I was saying, Finn, now I've got a beard, Owen's got a beard, friend Quimby, he has a beard. Do you ever want to grow a beard and just, you could just see it kind of hit him and he was just immediately started saying, yeah, I want a beard. I'm going to grow a beard. I just want to grow one like you, but just trying to not miss a beat, you know, it was like a dog trying to like add a little thin water. You're a kid and you obviously, you're funny, you and your brothers, you like being funny,

but you get very specific about movies at some point and you must have known, I'd kind of like to get into this business. Yeah, I mean, I think just a big part of our lives was going to movies and, you know, if it was R rated, how are we going to get into it, you know, whether it was like escape from New York or an officer and a gentleman, you know, okay, do we get a guy to go in and prop open the back door, do we get a cool looking guy that's alone, that's buying a ticket to buy us a couple of tickets. So that was kind of the drive in our life.

I'm picturing the three of you on each other's shoulders in a really long trench coat. But three of them, no, super tall. Has anyone ever tried 12 feet tall? Has anyone in real life ever really tried that where then you go to pay for the ticket and the hand comes out of the crotch? That's a different kind of theater. I think we kind of tried it all, but yeah, we were just very into movies and, you know, going to them, reading about them.

And I think it was, you know, when Owen went to the University of Texas and met Wes Anderson and, you know, Wes wanted to be a director, Owen was always writing and, you know, kind of interested in acting as well. And then that's kind of when we just thought that we'd try and make a movie. And I think maybe Ed Byrne's first movie, Brothers McMullen, had come out. So we'd heard that, okay, maybe if you can scrape together some money, you can make a whole movie and then, you know, discovered that even that was pretty hard to do. And then met this guy, Kit Carson and Dallas, who was kind of an experimental filmmaker.

He sounds like a gunslinger. And we ran across Kit Carson. Well, that was, that is an old settler's name. It is an old settler's name. But I just love that. Then we ran into Kit Carson. Did he help you get into film? No, he shot us.

So we wind up on the children's trail. Just to watch us die. But yeah, that's kind of how we got started. He told us to make a short film. And then that's how we got started. I have to say, I think from one of my favorite movies of all time has got to be Rushmore. I mean, it's really up there. And I've always loved you as the put-upon date who's being bullied by essentially a

child. Yeah, by a kid. You're trying so hard to be decent. It's something you're really funny playing is, I'm trying. I'm trying to be a good guy here. I'm trying to be decent and whether this and this kid is just a prick. I met Bill Clinton once and he was like, you do put-upon really well. That's something you're really good at.

Interesting. I just think it's funny for a president. It's one thing for me to notice that because I work in this business, you know, but for, it's so funny to think of you meeting Putin. And he's just like, you do put-upon you're doing really good. Straight man. Very good. Very good.

Yeah, I know it did kind of throw me off too to think that, gosh, I don't like the idea that he's watching even a comedy that closely where he'd kind of noticed that. Yeah. I noticed a couple of takes where you seemed a little off. You seemed tired. I went through the dailies. I mean, Houston's a good town, you must have been partying. Was that it?

It gets really, Clinton gets really specific. Hooters out on the outpost. I know who was partying before you shot on that day. Yeah, what have you, what have you enjoyed the most of the movies that you've made or what are the ones that you've really feel like, oh my God, I loved making that one? Yeah, maybe the Royal Ten and Bombs just because, like you were saying, Rushmore was really fun to make and just happy that Owen and Wes got to make another movie because, you know, we thought Bottle Rocket was it.

There was always kind of a feeling of melancholy we were waiting while we were making it because we knew that the studio didn't like it, they didn't like the dailies, you know, they were always going to be sending executives down to kind of monitor us. So just the fact that those guys got to make another movie and then, you know, that they were able to get Bill Murray to act and it was really exciting. So then, you know, on the Ten and Bombs, just knowing how much Wes loved New York, the fact that he'd get to shoot New York and, you know, have Gene Hackman and Angelica Houston really start putting people in it.

Yeah, that for me was probably the most exciting of those and then really fun just to get to visit, you know, the Life Aquatic and get to see Wes shooting in Europe and stuff like that. In terms of the things that have been the most fun to make, it's always kind of been with, you know, funny people, you know, when I've gotten to work with Will Ferrell, that's always been, he's such a good guy but also just a funny guy and a hard worker. One time I'd run into Will at the U.S. Open Tennis in New York and Will was with his kids at the time and one of his sons was probably like six or seven and we were sitting at kind

of a high table with like bar stools watching the tennis and his kids were around and Will was saying he was kind of worried they'd had like too many coaxes, they were getting all kind of jacked up and then at one point they had Will and I on the Jumbotron talking and didn't know it and his son came up to the table so his chin's just kind of at table level and he was like, dad, dad, and Will turns and he points, the son points to the Jumbotron and Will looks at the Jumbotron and while looking at it, puts his hand on his son's face and just pushes him out of the plane and then it's still one of the funniest things and then the little hands kind of like, it was still one of the funniest and just

like a physical thing, not even a joke or a line, but it's still about the funniest thing I've ever seen Will do, just a huge hand on his face, you know, pushing him down and out of the frame while on the Jumbotron. Yeah, I think we have something in common which is people don't talk about it as much these days but Mad Magazine was a big deal when I was a kid. That's where I think I also mainline some of my humor. Yeah, I mean definitely from television shows but Mad Magazine was kind of influential. Yeah, me too and I think just kind of, I don't remember anybody else reading it, definitely

neither of my brothers. I think I just kind of got it at the local kind of mom and pop grocery store up the street but that was the first thing I ever got kind of organized to do was to get the subscription to that and yeah, I'd even, I mean, this, you were probably a little older by then but I was in my 40s. Well, I'm saying when you'd have read Mad and you'd have to get cracked. Oh my God, no, that's the thing is I wasn't going to go over to that to cracked but there was a, yeah, Mad Magazine I think had its huge, I mean it was very influential in the

50s and 60s and then I'm reading it in the 70s when they're reprinting a lot of parodies of movies that I had never seen, do you know what I mean? So I didn't even know why things were funny but you could kind of get a sense of timing and rhythm from these comic panels and also there was an artist in the magazine who drew for them called Don Martin and he would write out the most fantastic sound effects and sight gags and I think, so I just, I'd take a bunch with me to summer camp and I remember summer camp is sort of like jail sometimes because they're usually on a bunk bed, you're far from home, you're not that happy and you're waiting to be released and I remember just

sitting on my bunk bed and flipping through Mad Magazine and yeah definitely would have been late 70s, early 80s when I was into it but you know just really funny stuff and funny movie parodies and I once was wound up sitting next to David Lee Roth on a flight from New York to LA and we just started talking and really got to laughing about some stuff and you know once got kind of comfortable talking to him you know I, at the time Van Halen was broken up and I, and he brought, he brought you know the band up and I said well Dave I mean do you think that you guys will ever get back together and he said well you know it's just gonna take a lot of hope and patience it turns out they're not just two strippers

and Albuquerque and then later I said to him did you read Mad Magazine growing up by any chance and he said who do you think you're talking to white boy? That's fantastic. I don't think I've ever had an extended conversation with David Lee Roth, he's a really really funny guy I mean it's all kind of one line or just one after the other. Yeah he's kind of, it's funny because he was in this you know one of the biggest rock bands of all time but he's a little bit of an outlier he's kind of I think aspired to be like a Vegas showman.

Yeah. He's probably some of the friction with the other guys in the band. Right he would drive Al and Ed crazy because you know they, I think sometimes he would talk and kind of scat more than he would actually sing which which I mean as a kid you always like loved all that stuff and like you know Panama for teacher when he's you know just doing those kind of one line or he's like you know I don't feel tardy and have you seen juniors grades like that kind of thing yeah yeah I just loved all those kind of one liners but I guess if you're in the band with him and want to sing.

Well also one of the first things he did when he went solo was like this Louis Premis stuff I ain't got no bunnies like you know yeah I'm just a Jigalow and he's like wait a minute you just left like Led Zeppelin and you go right and you know hey wasn't that your introduction to Louis Prima really mine know it what I was thinking this is great it's just like David Roth wrote this idiot that's Louis Prima yeah it's like finding Woody Guthrie through Bob Dylan you know it's like you get introduced to this stuff right right they'll be able to clip out that pause where you're just kind of staring at me right no we're gonna what we do is you're comparing Dylan and Woody Guthrie to Diamond

Dave and Louis Prima I understand I was with you all the time I don't know why you know I want to compliment you quickly we're gonna get off topic but you walked in with a gift and very few people do that this is very nice you brought me a book by the great Werner Herzog which I don't have this book is this fairly new it's no it's no book can I read the inscription or is this private sure you can read it Conan today you are Fitzcarral to hell and it's up to you to get me up and over that mountain in the Peruvian jungle and let's face it it might not be worth it when we get there your friend Luke I love this have you encountered Werner Herzog no no I haven't but yeah I've been I've read

a couple of reviews of the book it's about a guy that was on a it's a Japanese guy that after the war ended he stayed on this island yes famously yeah he didn't know the war was over and he stayed right till the 70s and then in 1970s some tourists were on the island and they were getting shot at and they're like what's going on and he wouldn't come out I know the real story I don't know Werner Herzog's version I just know the real story which is they had to go to Japan and get his now very old commander to come back and tell him you're relieved of duty oh yeah I mean because he wouldn't accept that the war was over and you had to hear it from his commander who was you know working in a right

aid in Tokyo so that's how it'll eventually end for us here in Hollywood your first agent will show up Werner what do you want I've got like an old musket no you're just firing jokes out of a cave yeah yeah firing jokes out of a musket Conan Conan come out it's fine it's over there is no show at Radio City the preparations for nothing this is so nice but you're a big reader I know you're a big reader because you're always talking to me about books you've just been reading or read I buy a lot of books I got that from you use them to prop up things no I always you know it's just always I'm always looking for a good book tend to read a lot of you know biographies and read a lot about music and stuff like

that it's not as if I'm reading kind of deep you know intellectual texts what's funny I have a thing my wife pretty much only reads fiction and she that's good she reads the classics and she's very incredibly smart and and and literate and I always my go to was history I will only read history and my attitude was I just want to know what I've got to know what happened I need to know what happened I don't have time to waste on someone's made-up story you know and she'll say like and and she'll say you know I'm you know I'm reading like this classic of literature you know and you know I'm I'm reading Dostoevsky or something I'm like oh my god I've got to know what really happened and so yeah and that's my so that's

my go-to I'm trying to get out of that I'm trying to read more and more fiction yeah I try and read a little fiction here and there it is great when you do find a good fiction book you don't want to shifting around in your chair and I was told to sit up straight by your parents or one of your producers said are you gonna be slouching like that are you gonna sit up no no Eduardo did Eduardo you're not just because I'd gotten here before you which I guess is pretty common you showed up early you showed up early which was clearly a power move big-time power move but then you you you breezed in and then you were talking about Dallas putting Dallas down sure yeah you come in here with your Dallas ways I'm

just there's a natural look I'm from Boston so when I hear some wise ass is coming in Dallas I'm gonna put me in my place I come in swinging that's who I am I got it what else are we gonna talk about here we can talk about your personal life what's going on can I help you in any way I'd be a good wingman don't you think yeah yeah okay no okay no he's really good about talking people up but I don't think Luke needs that you might be one of those wingman you kind of steal the thunder there's the he's the wingman that that actually you see him like riding off into the sunset with the girl yeah hey what can I say I was just trying to help you know I was just trying to build you well you had to be building you up by

saying oh yeah you'd love Luke he was really good on my podcast I just think you know I think you should take me out some time and because I see us having a great time going out let's do it let's go to dinner all right but what tell me what's gonna happen at this dinner seriously I want you to look into the future you're a smart guy creative what do you really think's gonna happen when you and I go to dinner first of all what kind of food are we gonna we're at Chasen's we're having the chili wait Chasen's clothes in 1988 we're at Musso and Frank okay again Musso and Frank they're still open yeah no but yeah everything's going good I mean I am excited to talk to you I mean it's really nice to be here and to

me your crew and to see this build this wonderful fortress we built this wonderful place kind of a madman's lair I think what I'd like to do is have the word get out that some you know some really wild stuff is happening here in this building we're making the podcast you know I mean it's fun during the day but you really want to be there late night yeah you want to be there late at night when Conan really lets his freak flag a fly it should just be one morning where foam is just coming out all the way to us yeah yeah a blue foam yeah a blue foam is coming out the window and people and when people ask say you don't want to know if you have to ask yeah but I'd like to be known as a guy who's like the

center like this is my playboy mansion can you start spreading that rumor for us yeah yeah I'll do that when I leave here just say there's all kinds of stuff going on don't get too specific the less specific you are the more interesting it's gonna make it see it it's wild I know there was it was the first podcast you know it's first one I did where there was an intimacy coordinator okay I thought this was a podcast I was both the guy doing the scene with you and the intimacy coordinator I'm gonna put my hand here how's that okay have you worked with an intimacy coordinator I haven't um I desperately desperately I mean I need one in my marriage in my life I need an intimacy coordinator but the idea of being

on film or eye contact contact and being told this is where I'm gonna put my hand and I mean that would just freak me out completely I think that is the way they kind of do things I actually think I did work with one one time within the past few years I just it was one of those things where I found myself kind of studying the port person more than I was listening to what they were actually saying yeah this is yeah we were just doing a hug right I mean I said okay I got that it was a handshake it's a scene where you shake your grandfather's hand and an intimacy coordinator came in yeah now I was gonna follow up and do that speaking of Clinton where you handshake yes you grab the forearm yes yeah really establish

a connection we had a Clinton story and you were with me for this sona yeah I did some event with President Clinton a bunch of years ago and afterwards we were in a hallway and Clinton was chatting with me and you and who else was there was a third and then there was a Steve Bezlo and I think brick con was yeah but we were just sitting there and he was really talking I mean son and I were the main he was talking to us yeah I think and it was of course some kind of policy thing yeah and he was saying like now see if we can get you know fresh a desalination plan in there you know that's a country that could really you know you'd see a 25% improvement in mortality rates and he was going on and

on and his people came up and were signaling behind me he's got to go we're late to go and so I'd say I kept trying to cut in and go to say basically Mr. President you know you're done here done but it's the it's a former president it's Bill Clinton so he was going like and I'll tell you something else if you can if you know if you could get the World Bank you know and if you could take this and then you could do that you could you would see at least a 7% decrease in the number of unwanted deaths that have happened in that region because you've brought the guacamole in from a whole different area see and he was talking to us and at one point they made the signal again and I leaned out

of the circle leaving you talking to him I leaned out and I just said what do you want me to do like hit him with a stick seriously I mean I don't know what punch him you eventually did Sona you said I have to go shoplift yeah I'll be back in 10 minutes yeah that's exactly I gotta go shoplift a scrunchie at forever 21 I quickly go to the restroom yes you may thanks but you have to come back yeah I will we're gonna talk about you while you're gone it's right in there this has never happened really yeah go for it yeah don't worry there are marks in there though keep rolling on this and I don't want you editing this out this is a first I would never do that I think you would be a great wingman for him I'm sorry

I did it back you up but you know I think I would be a good wingman right now you'd be a great wingman get in there oh no no is that what's a wingman no no wingman is not someone who follows you into the bath it's not as you urinate first of all can we yeah can we agree that this is a first maybe in podcast history that someone has left the studio to go urinate I've done it you don't have to what I'm saying is that this is historic and he has left and now we can talk about him right I should take advantage of this I do think I'd be a great wingman there's the flush hurry I do wonder if he really is gonna want to have dinner with me do you think he really does well no I think he just said that to

be nice and it's not because he doesn't want to I think we're both too shy I think he doesn't want to okay okay he's coming back I think he'll slouch but I think this was a good opportunity for us to get that out hey Luke yes stay live yeah we did we did this is going out this is live did you know that this is going very relaxing in the bathroom by the way would you hear us are they piping it in I could hear you that was a lot of your idea a lot of just like I wonder how long I've been in there I wonder how long I've been in here Luke the consensus when you were gone was a I would be a good wingman sona said that be that they don't think this dinner is going to happen because they think we're

both too shy they they don't think it's because you don't want to have it happen that's right but that were we're not gonna be able to you know consummate this dinner well I mean we live in the same neighborhood that helps I think so yeah right yeah so it's you know already you eliminate the 405 that that's killed a lot of relationships at least it was in my life what's yeah I mean what's what I have my children went to school past the 405 and I haven't seen him since so I mean it's it's destroyed families more than the civil war was the 405 for seriously you know no I think we're gonna do it you've just got you're you're a busy guy I mean I can do it anytime what are you talking about I can do

the ball in your court I can do it at the drop of a hat okay we're gonna do it we're gonna do you and I are going to get dinner in the next two weeks great that's what's gonna happen wow great and I'm gonna podcast from the dinner we're here you were right about me having a lot going on because I am gonna podcast from the dinner well I you are I mean I want to mention this look both ways and this is with you and I love her Lily Reinhart she's great she was from Riverdale I think yeah yeah the person that I work with my agent Alon when he and I were first talking about the movie he was describing the story and I said that sounds really funny he said it's with Lily Reinhart and I said okay well I'm not exactly clear on who that is and he said well she has 28 million

followers I said well I guess I better do the movie yes yes it's absolutely obviously no reflection on her that I wasn't you know no it's really becoming a reflection on us I mean more and more I I mean when I go through my news feed and it's talking about celebrities I often don't know who anyone under 30 is and then I find out that they have 180 billion followers and they're considered a god in India and I'm thinking I don't know what is this I don't understand but we were we were filming in Austin and I'm from Dallas as you know yes yeah but Dallas you shot JR I can't forgive you anyway continue I thought you were gonna say someone else we were filming in this neighborhood in Austin there would be these big groups of kids you know waiting for Lily and I somehow kind of

became the the go-between where they would call me over and say did I know if Lily was going to be coming out did I don't know if she was going to be signing things or doing pictures so I would have to then go on to set and we'd do a take and I'd say Lily by the way there's some neighborhood kids out there they'd love to get a picture with you or autograph perhaps if you're feeling up to it yeah um so yeah I would have screamed at the kids you know what my picture in my day I was quite the funny man total meltdown they just completely went right over there just had me acting as kind of the bag man sure yeah yeah but she was really great in it and the story of the movie is she graduates from the University of Texas and she has a one-night stand and it's kind of like the

movie sliding doors where it's two different stories where in one she's pregnant and has the child and so she's kind of a single mother and in the other story she's not pregnant and moves to Los Angeles and uh but she was really good really funny and hard worker and then the director Wanoori Kahui was a great director it's kind of her first big American movie and uh yeah should be uh should be fun I'm curious about this because I've uh never uh worked in that world of film and I would just imagine if you get I know people are begging me to this world of this world of film that you definitely make it sound like bitcoin yeah actually well I think it's a scam I don't think it's gonna last but it's a it's a flim flam this film uh but I but I I would think you show up and the

director having the chemistry with the director has got to mean everything like having some kind of understanding and communication with the director yeah to to get along well with the director is you know I've kind of worked with lots of different just you know it's just like the actors just all kinds of different directors some people they'd give you a lot of notes some people don't give you any notes and you know I always kind of think about like Mike White where I did this show with Mike where I'd do a take and say well Mike you know what do you think yeah put his hands I don't know oh that's gotta feel great right and then and then we'd be moving on but um yeah I mean I you know I'm I'm always one of those people where you know it's

like I like a line reading you know if someone says you know like just how how would you do it and then just you know it's always kind of fun to try and do exactly what the director says I've never understood that thing where actors you know don't like to get like how dare you give me a line reading right where it's really fun to then just try and imitate exactly what someone has just done or it's like I would always laugh with Mike judge you know he'd give you an idea and be like okay Mike let's do a take I'm gonna show you why that doesn't work but I can't believe we got through this whole interview and didn't mention idiocracy which is controversial for me now because when it first came out I loved it so much and I still do

but the fact that it's playing out as real now is very disturbing to me uh this this uh how we fetishize and seem to love who can be the stupidest person and isn't it funny that everything so stupid is worrisome to me but there's so many great things in that movie I think one of my favorite parts is when you look out the window in a lot of the scenes that take place uh in in the cityscape you can see that no one knows how to take care of buildings anymore so they're held up with rope there's so many things like that that just that I if they're using ropes to keep skyscrapers from falling down because they lack engineering knowledge anymore right well I can just remember being on the movie with Mike and saying like well Mike are you sure that we can do this and

be like uh you don't think it's funny I'd be like well I think it's funny but I mean I'm totally immature but I mean is this gonna be able to fly but yeah I do remember when the in the last administration they did hire somebody with a for a very important cabinet job that was actually from corals jr and I thought okay now that is pretty even I will agree that it is exactly yeah yeah it's starting to uh and and and just the reverence they have for uh these you know I'm over the top entertainers and it's just becoming the reality of our political situation yeah right I mean people would ask me about it and I'd always say well I actually think Camacho would make a great president yes I mean he cared about the people you know it's kind of empathetic yes you know he wanted

to take action yeah he's looking pretty good right now but yeah Mike my judge is pretty incredible guy I mean yeah this is I mean I have to say I was driving in today and uh excited to be talking to you but also knew that this would be one of the really good ones because you're a your friend is wrong it's not about keeping up with Cohen it's about meeting him halfway and that's a great country song it's about what country song is that it's the ballot of conan see this is the kind of conversation we're gonna have a dinner okay at a uh what kind of what kind of meal what do you like to eat um anything Carl's jr jr yeah Carl's jr jr jr yeah Carl's jr jr jr which is a vegan restaurant Carl's jr jr is a rebellion against his father it's a vegan restaurant Carl if you

have time we'll go to the regulars Carl's jr but you know if you're in a hurry we'll go to Carl's jr jr on I love the I love you um setting up that I'm a really busy guy which I don't think is the case kind of like a passive aggressive yeah oh you're a busy guy you don't time for a simple fellow like me a Dallas guy yeah Dallas guy we know man you're one of those Boston guys never have time for a Dallas guy uh Luke Wilson uh you're a uh you're a wonderful fellow you really are I mean that honestly and I love talking to you and I look forward to our meal in the next two weeks thanks a ton for having me on really fun to talk to you and great to see you so thanks very much thank you sir as it's time to get serious we need to talk about the tragic power of this podcast

what do you mean on a summer s'mores episode from this summer I mentioned a specific dessert that I like to enjoy with some bourbon from a place called little flower in Pasadena I don't want to name the dessert and I'll tell you why my wife went in there this weekend we had this whole weekend planned out she was gonna pick up this dessert gonna come home drink some bourbon and watch 1990s flatliners okay she went there and they said sorry we're out did you hear about it on the Conan podcast really I'm not imitating anyone there they're actually wonderful but they had a little bit of attitude and my wife said actually that was my husband that said that about this and people have been coming in name-checking Conan and they've been selling out this dessert

that I love so what you're saying it's kind of like Midas with the golden touch you wish that everything you could touch would turn into gold but then this power becomes a curse yes uh you you mentioned this honeycomb dessert that you really love uh-huh that's sold in this little shop that only you would find and because it's because it was because it was an organic little treat that enraged me I thought we can't talk about it but you already talked about it on the podcast I know I did and he just said it right now but I'll bleep it out no you're not gonna bleep that out it's gonna people need to hear about this wonderful dessert you like and if it means that you never get to have it again at least you've shared it with the rest if you

know here's what needs to happen no no no you shared it with you shared it with the rest of the world but let me say you've had enough of you stuffed your face with enough no please stop honeycomb honeycomb please stop honeycomb stop go in and buy the ginger molasses cookies those are delicious if you see a bag of milk chocolate covered honeycomb if there's more than one take one but always leave one because I am seconds from coming in there and get ridiculous I don't agree with this at all this seems cruel and barbaric you enjoy a dessert it really means a lot to you you've had plenty of enjoyment in your life some would argue more than you deserve now it's time but now it's time for you to share this treat with other people but instead

you're sniping and and and whining I'm taking my others now are getting a chance to enjoy this wonderful treat packed with antioxidants and you are bitching it I think chocolate is no I think yeah chocolate no dark chocolate yeah dark chocolate is but milk chocolate this is covered in milk chocolate yes sounds delicious everyone should get some honeycomb covered in dark chocolate honeycomb just leave me one bag just if there's ever one left don't take it that's all I'm saying that's ridiculous no I should you have more of it why I'm not asking for more I'm just asking for some how about this how about I make you some no it would be that hard to go out and find some honeycomb and and and melted milk chocolate I can make that I can scrape some M&M's no one makes

it like little flour my people at little flour they do the best work there oh now you're buttering them up yeah they're mad at you I see what you're doing I get it maybe they could just put one aside for me at any given time that's can I ask you a question yeah are the customers irritated that they can't get anymore maybe no I don't know little flowers not irritated they they are wonderful yeah they just seem like really good people they are and they'd be even better if they kept one off to the side well first of all that's for you to go in and say hi I'm matt gorelli and when they're done shitting the floor uh because you're such a urban legend um i'm not sure I understand In the level of that?

Yeah, well, Herb and Legend. M-m-m-m-m-m-m-gogogogogogogogorly, slas-a-loo. Oh, Jesus! Then, uh... You should try their slas-a-looves, though. I've had a slas-a-loo, trust me. But then, uh... Why can't you help me this one time?

Why can't you use your power? What's the help that you need right now? I want him to convince them and be on my side, and you as well. I just wasn't sure what the game plan was. The game's just leave one bag with money. There's a thing. Okay, all right.

because I've met your beautiful wife, your beautiful daughter, you have that lovely house. Everything's just going your way so perfectly. And then you have this little treat and what is it? It can't be a little treat like twizzlers or some other candy that everyone else likes. No, it's gotta be from a little shop. A shop called Little Flower.

Oh, do you have the honeycomb that's been caressed in milk chocolate? I'm good, I'll put it in my little silk pouch and I'll pull the string, oh, it's so tight. And now I'll tie it to my little belts that I got as a boy scout. They're nicely tied. Now I'll skip home.

Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo. Honey, I'm home. I love you. I love you too. Hello, daughter. Hi, wee, let's all have our honeycomb. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. So can I ask you a quick favor?

What's Conan drinking right now? He's drinking hint water. Hint water. Hint water. I just drink it. It's free. We get cases of this stuff. No, you can't justify that.

You're drinking hint water. I'm drinking whatever's here. Put a little fruit berry essence. Put a bottle of gin here and open the cap and I'll drink it. I'll drink whatever's here. Why can't you just tell me this once? I'll go hunting for some little afeet shop. Oh.

I bet there's a little bell in the door. Jingle, jingle, jingle. Yeah, like a storehouse. Jingle, jingle, jingle. And then I bet if someone comes out and goes, oh, it's our own Matt Corwin. This is never airing. This is never airing.

Matt! Ooh, Matt, how are you? Well, I'm fine, Mrs. Pennywistel. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. How can we help you today, Matt? No, this is never airing. Well, I was wondering if I could get some of my little honeycomb covered in chocolate.

Why, of course, oh, look, it's all gone, Matt. We've sold out. Sold out! God damn it, Pennywistel. Give me some. Give me some now. What do you have there? I have a gun.

Please, put that away. You're going to cough up more. Matt's broken. Is there a name, Mrs. Pennywistel? I don't know. Is there a little bell? I don't know. Jingle, jingle.

You know what, I'm going to make some. I'm going to get some. I don't want your goddamn shit recipe, honeycomb. I want my little flower silk bag drawstring Pennywistel treat, and I want it now. We'll get it for you, trust me. I'm going to intervene. I will get you more of this sweet little treat, I promise.

From Little Flower? It'll be from A Store. You're just going to give me like a half-chewed bit of honey. Nope, I'm going to buy some candy that's sort of like this, but sold by a massive retailer. That's fine. I like that too, but I just don't eat much sugar anymore. So I want this.

God damn it. I'll get you something that has honey and chocolate bits in it that's sold by a massive chain. I got no problem with massive chain candy. You've got to find something that Conan really likes that's very particular. You've got to mention it on this podcast, and then it'll be sold out.

Then you'll feel what he's feeling right now. You'll be a little bit more empathetic. I know. What if I told people about this fancy sushi place, this shishish sushi place you go to that you don't want everyone to know about? Yeah. I go to a sushi place that everyone goes to as a chain.

No, not that one. The one you go with Dana Carvey to. I think you do. That's Dana Carvey's place. There's nothing I do. First of all, I'm a man of the people. I don't go to special little places, OK? I get calls all the time from these stores

that you go to, where you find something you really like, and then you buy it. OK. Not true. No, but it's true. I work for you. I'm your assistant, and that happened. You don't have to name the place, but you name it.

That's work. I like that job. I know that much right now. Listen, my point is you're going to get this candy. I'm going to take care of it for you. It may not be from Little Flower. I'm not interested. It may not be, but it'll be something

that I find that contains some of those elements. That's disgusting. Yeah. So anyway, let's just take care of that. All right. Little Flower, I love you. Help me out. Mrs. Penny Whistle, we're sorry for the intrusion.

Conan O'Brien needs a friend. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Gorely. Produced by me, Matt Gorely. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Joanna Salatarov, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Year Wolf. Theme song by the White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.

Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering by Will Bekdon. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brick Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode.

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