Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Marshawn Lynch

Episode Date: February 14, 2022

Former NFL star Marshawn Lynch feels blessed to be Conan O’Brien’s friend. Marshawn sits down with Conan for a special live Super Bowl episode to talk about playing off of Will Arnett in Murderville, recovering from the physical intensity of the game, and launching his own agency with Beast Mode Marketing. Plus, Conan and Sona answer audience questions about Conan’s newest project and more. Got a question for Conan? Call our voicemail: [phone]. For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com.

I feel blessed to be Conan, friend. I thought for a second you were going to stop at Conan and that you were going to say, I feel blessed to be Conan. And I thought, shit, you are so high right now. That's a fact, bud. That's a fact. Fall is real, hear the yell, back to school, ring the bell, brand new shoes, walking blues, climb the fence, hook some guns, I think they're letting me on over the new train.

Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you very much. This is lovely. You're a very lovely group of people. This is really nice. Welcome to my upscale airport lounge. I hope you like it in here.

You know, I've never been in this space before. This is a very special episode of Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. Who's here is familiar with our podcast. Do you guys know what it is? Okay. I see one person not clapping, probably doesn't know why you're here. All right. You'll be ejected soon.

But let me explain what's happening. We're doing a very special episode of Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend and we're doing it at this serious radio complex, which is by far one of the nicest places I've ever been in my, this is insane. This is not how I usually record a podcast. We record our podcasts in an abandoned Italian restaurant down by the airport. And by the way, I'm just going to point out to the people at home that there's only about 20 people here in our audience and they're masked.

So just imagine how big these laughs would be if these people weren't masked and it was a regular audience. Like 300 or 400 people or my normal audience of like 600,000, okay? But it's so nice to have you here. Thank you very much for being here. And we're going to have a lovely time here on the program. I'm blown away. Blay, have you seen anything like this before?

This is great. Oh, it looks amazing. I kind of feel like we're in like a cell phone kiosk with a bunch of people. It's incredible. I don't know if your mic or anything that people can hear you, but it is like a cell phone kiosk. It is absolutely gorgeous in here. And guess what? There's a working bathroom.

I've never had that in almost my entire career. I don't know if you realize I am not treated well in my professional life. I am treated very, very badly. And then suddenly I get invited to this serious thing and I'm like, this is incredible. This is fantastic. Very nice. Beautiful. And there's also a lot of people watching out behind this glass.

Yeah, I find this creepy. I don't like this part. This feels very strange. I feel like they know that I have some disease and they're watching me like they put us all in here because we were exposed. There was a Martian meteor and there was a spore and now they're all watching us going. Yes. Yes.

This is a weird glass wall, but there's a lot to adjust to. And we will adjust to it. We have a wonderful show. This is a, this is a Super Bowl show because my fans, my fans are huge Super Bowl fans. No, they really are. They really are. This is a big, this is a Super Bowl show that we are, this is going to drop the day after the Super Bowl.

That's right. Right. But we're recording it just before. Right? I'm going to let that spill right now. Yeah. Which means we don't know what happened, but we kind of have to act like we do know what happened.

That's right. Man, was that some game? Huh? Wow. Who knew? Wow. Seven over times. I didn't even think that was possible.

So much blood. Yeah. And then they all had hockey sticks at the end. That was weird. I don't understand what happened, but you all saw it. We all watched it together. Let me do something right now. Let me bring out my trusty assistant, Sonam of Sesty, and he's going to come out.

Let's get Sonam out here. Sonam, are you coming? Hey, it's Sonam. Never touch me again. I don't have a microphone, so I'm just going to sit here and talk into this. I'm going to sit down. I just wanted to stand for the audience to show them how tall I am. You don't need that one.

I like two microphones at all times. I'm now holding a handheld microphone and using a microphone that's on a stand. I would like a third mic, please. Is it possible? Can we get a third mic in here? Thank you very much. And I want to eat seven more microphones, because that's how I do it. That's why we have one of the biggest podcasts, is we use just more microphones.

The content is crap. Yeah. Oh, yeah. This show is garbage. Sonam, that's great. Oh, okay. Now, Sonam, you are, first of all, congratulations to Sonam, who had twins several months ago. And then, because she's not a super great mom, she decided to be here today, who's taking

care of them? I am not sure, actually. I just left the house with my husband in there, and then I was like, good luck. Yeah, yeah. He's what I do. He uses a lot of duct tape to keep him in place. No, she has these wonderful twin boys, Mikey and Charlie, and I came over to the house just to try and make him laugh.

I really got Mikey laughing. Charlie stared at me. Didn't get it. You bring this up so often, and I think it bothers you so much. When there's someone I can't get laughing, I was going crazy, and it was time for me to go. And they had to go to bed. It was like 11 o'clock at night, and I was like, no, give the little baby some coffee.

I'm going to crack this. I'm going to get this baby laughing. You even say, I think they were five months old when you met them, and every time you talk to someone, you're like, Charlie, he's a tough one, and he's an infant. Right, right. His brain has not formed. He doesn't have a laugh center yet. He will soon.

My father never got his, but that's neither here nor there. And again, for you listening people at home, think of how hard these laughs would be if they weren't masked, and if it wasn't just 20 people. This is killing with this room. This is bothering you so much too. No, no. There's so many things that. I haven't been in front of a crowd in a while, and this is a great crowd, and they are really

laughing, but they're wearing most of them because of COVID restrictions or wearing bee keeper outfits. You can't hear them through the heavy, heavy masking. Yeah. Also, there's no mic near them, so they're even further away, and I think that they're going to just barely be heard. No, no, no, no. First of all, let's hope they're miced.

If they're not, I'm going to make sure that they add tons of laughs in a way that's completely inappropriate. I'm going to have them, I'm going to have them take laughs, cheers from a 1968 soccer championship in London, and then add that to the show. With the chanting and the songs and everything too? Yeah, yeah, a lot of that, a lot of that. People aren't going to understand why is someone with a British accent, and why is occasionally someone yelling ole?

It's very obvious how little you know about sports right now. A little about sports, let me tell you something, okay, and this is, I have a bone to pick with Los Angeles and Los Angeles, I love you, you've been my home now for 11 years or 12 years. 13. It feels like 11, anyway, you know, sure, LA is fantastic. I really shouldn't be here because of my complete lack of skin protection. I am the whitest person on television, and now the whitest person on radio. Yeah, so I really shouldn't be here, and you've seen the way I dress when I walk around LA.

Yeah, you're covered completely, you have one of those hats that cover your back, and then you're wearing like long sleeve SPF shirts, and it's like 100 degrees outside. Then after I do all that, I get into a sleeping bag, and I sit in a shopping cart and my sona pushes me around, that's how protected I am from the sun. But I have a bit of an issue with LA, because you drive around LA, and we're here because this is a Super Bowl show. This really is a Super Bowl show, and it's a Super Bowl themed, and very excited about our guest today, who will give us great insights.

But one of the things that I have noticed living in Los Angeles is that LA, Los Angeles Rams are in the Super Bowl. You wouldn't know it to drive around LA. Am I right? You drive around LA, and you don't see any signage. I don't see anyone wearing a Rams hat, because that's just the way LA is. I'm serious. I've been driving around a lot.

I saw one city bus that just had one of those little electric signs, and it said, stops frequently, and then the next message that came up was, go Rams. There was a question mark? Yeah, it was a question mark. Go Rams? I mean, they weren't even sure. I didn't grow up in a town like this. I grew up in Boston, Massachusetts, and in Boston, Massachusetts, you have to wear your

Red Sox cap when the Red Sox are playing. You have to wear your Patriots cap when the Patriots are playing. You have to wear a Bruins jersey when the Bruins are playing. You have to wear a Celtics jersey when the Celtics are playing, and people take it really seriously. True story. My father went out to get groceries a couple of years ago when the Patriots were in the Super Bowl, and he forgot to put on his Patriots cap.

Two years in prison. He spent two years in prison for that. They pulled him over. He didn't have his hat. Two years. Yeah. Unbelievable. That's the intensity of what is happening in.

That's crazy. No, I like this, where people are like, yeah, it's cool, we're in the Super Bowl. Nice job, guys. Oh, I bet you right now, and I think this crowd agrees with me. If I went around to LA and randomly asked people, are you excited about the Rams? Yeah. Two-thirds of them would spray mace in my face, and I would say I was attacked by a woman in a corduroy jacket, a tall, orange-haired woman.

They wouldn't know what was going on. I almost forgot the Rams came back. I remember they were here, and then somebody said, oh, the Rams are in the Super Bowl. I was like, oh. You know what's really sad? When you have a football team that leaves and no one notices, it's like someone who leaves a party and then wanders back later on and go, I bet you, did you go? Oh, I feel terrible.

I mean. But that's what happened. The Rams left, now they're back, but are you excited about it? Is anyone in your family excited about it? People in my family are. I'm not. I'm not going to lie, I don't know why we're in the Super Bowl thing. I don't think of Conan O'Brien when I think of the Super Bowl, and I certainly have no

idea what's going on. I think, well, first of all, you don't know anything about football, and this is a true story. Oh, because you know a lot. Absolutely true story. Sona walked in to do the podcast today, okay? This is about 45 minutes ago, and this is absolutely true. Okay, my dad didn't do two years in prison for not working out.

What? No. But Sona walked in 45 minutes ago and learned for the first time that Tom Brady had retired from football. Yes. That is actually very true. I had heard. You didn't know.

I had heard they were like, oh, he might retire, and I was like, okay, and then I just found out that he had announced. What did that happen? You found out Obama was president during his second term. That was, you were always, and crazily, misinformed. He had two terms? He had two terms. Wow.

Okay. That's really edible, a little more than read the newspaper. I'm going to read a newspaper. Well, online, I know it's not cool to have paper, but anywho, you know, this is to contrast it. Cincinnati. Yeah. Okay, the Bengals.

Cincinnati is giving kids the day off from school, the day after the Super Bowl on Monday. Everyone in Cincinnati has the day off. This has been declared like everyone, no school, regardless if they win or lose. What? Why? Yes. And in LA, you could, no, no one even knows in Cincinnati, they're shutting everything down.

They're going to empty the hospitals. They're going to have bulldozers destroy the library so no one can use them on Monday. Everything's going to be completely shut down. They're not going to put fluoride on the water. Everything's being shut down on that day. It's just going to be all, just lawlessness, craziness, Mad Max beyond Thunderdome. It's going to be nuts. All right.

That's how seriously they're taking it. And then of course, here we are in LA, but I feel the excitement in this room. Now that might be because I'm here and I'm hot, but that's not something you laugh at. I can't talk. No, no, no, no, eliminate the laughs there. That's terrible. Yeah. No, everyone laughed really hard at what you just said.

That was one of our... That was one of the better laughs. Yeah, it was. It was a big one. I think I should have had appreciative nods for that. You think that you would have been like, hey, I'm so hot and everyone would have been like, oh, yes. Well, yes, you are.

Well, yeah. And some guys too. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. If he's... Did someone did a whoop? He had some lips.

I jumped him. We've wasted enough time. And I think it's time. I think I got out some of my feelings, which are powerful feelings about the Super Bowl. Okay. Well, you got everybody in LA. You attacked everyone here. So I can't wait for this to come out.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. They're... First of all, like I said, I'm only offending hardcore Rams fans and there's six of them, as we know.

Two of them are stuck in the La Brea Tar Pits right now, trying to get out. So good, good, good luck. Oh, I'm so scared that the four surviving Rams fans will find me. I am very excited about our guest. My guest today is a former running back who played in the NFL for 12 seasons. He was selected to the Pro Bowl five times, won a Super Bowl with the Seattle Seahawks in 2014, and has beaten me at video games many, many times in Super Bowl clueless gamers. Now, he is expanding his Beast Mode brand with a marketing agency, Beast Mode Marketing.

I am really thrilled. He is a fantastic man, just a great person. I'm excited to chat with him today. Mark Sean Lynch. Let's get him out of here. How you doing, Mark Sean? How are you? Shit, I'm all right.

Big dog. What's going on? You're the only guy that calls me big dog. Since my mom. Holy shit, bro. What's that? What's happening? Well, you call me...

You come in and you call me big dog, which I love. Holy shit. First thing I got to say to you is I walked in... That's my assistant, Sona. Sona? Yeah. How you doing, Sona? Good.

How are you? I'm smooth. Do you have any more of whatever you are feeling? I do. I do. You know, Sona loves edibles. Loves them. Edibles?

Loves edibles, but she hasn't been able to have any because she had twins and she's breastfeeding and the kids will, like, be floating on the ceiling. So, yeah. They might be feeling like me. You can't have that. Not just yet. Mark Sean, you're going to come around. You're going to wake up.

Sona later. But one thing I want to say to you is, first of all, I saw you. You're one of my favorite people. You know that? Appreciate it, big dog. I really do. Every time we've done anything together and shot anything, people love it because you are hilariously funny.

You've just got this great aura. You really are. You're just a... You're a naturally very funny person. And then you proved it because you did this show Murderville with Will Arnett and you killed that thing. I got to do an episode. And you were... you're a hilarious improviser because that show is all improv.

Thanks. Yeah. Was that funded? It was. It was. And you just jumped into it and Will would throw all these situations at you and you just went with it. Yeah, man.

Shit. Most of the time, just say, go. And then next day I know he, okay, well, where'd he go? And I'm stuck in a situation by myself, like, okay, well, fuck it, what's up? That's a great approach to comedy. By the way, many people have put half that much effort into it. But you know, I'm really amazed that you did that. And I know that a lot of people say improv must be scary, you know?

Improv must be kind of scary to do, especially on a TV show. And I was thinking, Marshawn Lynch has had been in a Super Bowl. You've been in so many situations where there are 11 guys trying to kill you, physically kill you. Improv is not going to scare Marshawn Lynch. Is that how it feels to you? A little bit, something like that. Yeah.

You have these giant guys in your life, you spent 12 years people trying to destroy your body. It's probably longer than that. How many years total? I mean, you had college into that and damn, four more years of high school. So you're probably looking at maybe 20, 20 plus years. 20 plus years of playing one of the hardest sports. And also I want to point out to people, Marshawn was a Euro.

You played four sports very well. You were a quadruple threat. You didn't just play football. Right. Right? You played baseball? Basketball. Okay.

Basketball. And then swimming. Swimming. And ran track. And you ran track. And you also did some wrestling. Yeah. I ran.

And for two years I played women's field hockey. Get the track back. And no one figured it out and then they were like, wait a minute, she's terrible. She's the worst one on the team. And then the secret was out. No. What are you talking about? I looked good in that skirt.

I did. I look good. Well, you don't, you never believe anything I'm telling you. No, I don't. Especially not that shit. Okay. Some things you throw out there, I'll let it fly. That one I'm not letting fly.

I'm not gonna shit that. All right. You're just gonna take care of that. Marshawn, you said something to me a couple of years ago and it intrigued me. You said, Conan, if you came to Oakland and I showed you around, you'd have street cred. You'd get a hood pass. I'd get a hood pass.

You'd get a hood pass for sure. Let's talk about that for a little bit. You'd get a hood pass for sure. Do you really think I'd get a hood pass? I know you would. I told you, the hood fuck will come in on God. They fuck with you, bro. See, look, you got the crowd responding, the people have spoken.

The people have spoken. That was, for this group, that was huge. A lot of people think I'm kind of a silly person, you know, and kind of a little bit of a fool. You really think if you showed me around the neighborhood and you gave me a hood pass, people would respect me? Yeah, man. Take you to the high schools, the restaurants, you feel me, the dice games, you feel me,

the trap, smoke spots, dope spots, all the shit. And you would do that for me. You would take me to all those places. Okay, what if I was dressed in a way that was, like, wearing super short shorts? Then we got a spot for you on E-1-4. I mean, you did the promo, you know, you laughing like you know what that is. Yeah, I have no idea what that is, but I'm laughing because I don't want to be a liar. Why don't you explain?

Yeah, I don't know. Okay. Let's just say you might make a couple dollars. Listen, I'm interested. I think Sonia gets it now. Look, I'll make money anyway I can make money. I'm not above doing what I have to do to make some coin. By the way, that's where you really fell in love with sports, right?

You were playing in the streets of Oakland. Facts, facts. Were we playing football in the streets? Yeah, I mean, we played it all. Football, basketball, baseball, anything that you could do to stay active, we probably did. Doorbell ditch, you know what I mean? Think about that. About what?

Doorbell ditch. Oh yeah, you ring the door and you run away. As fast as you can. Yeah. You never got the second part right. I would ring the bell and then I would forget to run away. Everyone else would and they'd answer the door and say, what do you want? They'd say, haha, doorbell ditch and they'd say, you're still here, shithead.

Then they would beat you senselessly. They would beat me senselessly. Yeah, I got beat a lot in my day. Are you worried about losing your street cred if you take them away from Oakland? Yeah, what happens here? I feel like that might happen. If I had a street cred monitor right now, you came out and your street cred monitor would read like 10,000 when it was supposed to only go to 100.

From March on, it should go up to 10,000. But as you talked to me, it's plummeting, March on. It is plummeting. That's what's happening. No, I don't think that, that ain't accurate. You don't think that's accurate? That's not accurate. Okay.

You think I'm boosting your street cred in any way? Yeah, because then I could probably go to Malibu or something. Let me show you my Malibu. I'm going to show you my Malibu. You ever seen that movie, Malibu's Most Morning? Yeah, I'm going to take you to the group and we're going to get you some moisturizer. I'm going to take you to a Lululemon and we're going to get some good stuff there. I'm going to fix you up and then you're going to be all set.

That's what's going to happen. Hey, let me ask you a question. I've known you a long time. So when I saw you out in the hallway, I came up, I give you a big hug. And then I started to show you how strong I was, right? I started to shake you around a little bit, didn't I? Yeah, there was some, I saw a little bit of fear in your eyes. This guy's a top notch athlete.

Am I reading into that? Why are you just giggling? I want to see. One of the best. What's that? One of the biggest and the strongest. Me, right? You got to finish those sentences because people need to understand Conan O'Brien is not what

you think. The biggest and the strongest. I'm a big, strong guy who probably would have had a pretty good career in the NFL, right? Yeah, man. I would have thought you had tight end or de-end and. No. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to just jump in.

No, no, no. You don't think so? No. I think the question is, Marshawn, if he played football, how long would he be in the game before he had to be rushed to the hospital? Come on. I think something would happen to me in the locker room before the game started. Before it even started?

Yeah, yeah. Before the game even started, I'd get hurt trying to get water out of the water fountain. I'd ship two teeth. I'd start shrieking. No, no, no. And they would hella vac me out of there. No, no. Yeah, totally.

I think I would fall apart. I doubt that. No, man. You look like. If anything, I think your hair would have carried you all the way through. Yes. I've been the first player who didn't wear a helmet because I got to say. I have taken a lot of hits in my day and this hair, and it's quite impressive in person.

You can tell by the way the audience is responding to it, that it is, it absorbs. It absorbs energy better than any football helmet. So I take hits all the time. I don't even feel it. Is this hair? Yeah, that's a fact. We're shit. We're shit.

If I fall, I bounce right back up again. What hits do you take in comedy? I don't understand. Trust me. Comedy is a rougher thing than you can imagine. Oh, OK. OK. The sarcasm gets pretty intense and a guy can get hurt.

You got to protect yourself, bro. Yeah. Thank you. I got to ask you, and this is a Super Bowl related question because I keep forgetting that Super Bowl is happening because everyone in LA, you get that vibe here? They don't get as intense about it. It depends on what time you be outside. Yeah.

What time are you outside? I try to avoid the sun at all costs. What is she? When I come out at six in the morning, I look around and then I cover myself up with some leaves. I don't know, but if you live in the vamp life then LA is showing out for the Super Bowl. Yeah.

Because last night it was a movie. Last night was intense. Yeah, it was a movie last night. Yeah. Well, what did you see? Did you see? The other thing I've noticed is that some celebrities are loyal to the Rams and have been since the Rams showed up.

But then I get suspicious of these celebrities that suddenly show up when they're in the Super Bowl. Mm-hmm. You know? Now, I don't want to name names. You got some bandwagon fans. What's that? Well, I said, you got bandwagon fans.

Suddenly, that's the thing I'm thinking about is when suddenly they're cutting away, because I've been following the last couple of Rams games and I see more and more celebrities each time, you know? And then suddenly you're like, oh, it's the cast of Selling Sunsets on the sideline. You're like, what are they doing here? No, no, you're excited to see them. Don't act like you're like, what are they doing here? You're like, oh, my God, it's Krishel.

There's Krishel. I hope she's going, I hope the breakup went okay. She's got a new house she wants to sell, but that's when I get a little suspicious, you know? Good question. Yeah, exactly. Who's that? Yeah.

You know, Krishel from Selling Sunset. They sent us. I got to show you my LA. That's what I got to show you. Yeah. Oh, yeah, you got to take me to your hood. Let me see your hood. Yeah.

See how you fucking know. Let me ask you something, if you've played the game, NFL player at your level, do you watch the game? Is it different for you to watch the game than it is for an average fan? How does someone who's been there watch the game? I mean, realistically, it just probably depends on what type of level of intoxication. By the way, this is an intervention. This isn't a, these people here, they're not here to see the podcast.

We all love you and we're here for you and we want the old Marshawn back. Oh, man. Oh, wait a minute. This is the old Marshawn. Yeah, man. Just older. That's how I go. But do you watch, when you, are you watching it and watching like, I wouldn't have done

that or I would have done that differently or? I mean, when I'm watching a game, I just probably having fun or so. Right. Because you can get really wrapped up in it and think, no one else, you and very few other people know what it's like to be in that situation. You probably know when someone gets hit, man, that, that one hurt. Hell yeah. It was definitely.

And it's usually the ones you don't see, but I don't know when you get them pals, that's usually the ones that really fuck you up. Cause then you got to think, you got maybe, maybe a thousand pounds worth of people on top of you. And then, you know, depending on how strong and what they really doing that as another couple of pounds and punches and eye gouges. So that is happening when, cause that's another thing. This is just fascinating to hear about this.

But when you were at the bottom of that pile and man, you were on the, you know, when they finally could catch you, there'd be 30 guys on top of you. And sometimes they just start to build a house on top of that. Like, you know, let's build a 7-Eleven here while we're at it. And you're at the bottom. What are they doing to you? Are they really punching you? I mean, it's a lot of shit going on down there.

Are people, are people saying stuff, talking, all kind of shit be going on in there. There's like a whole, like a little community down there. It's all type of shit. That's fascinating to me. I think I even bust a couple of knocks down at the bottom of the, of the pile of Covertown. But, you know, it's just all kind of shit that going on. And people are talking to each other and saying stuff? Yeah.

Like, what's up, bro? What are we doing after that? You feel me? After the situation? Are we getting out? Yeah. All right. I'll meet you over there.

Hey, man. Big pile. The refs are trying to separate you guys. But while you're in there, you're talking about like, you know, I found a really good Sleepy Time Tee. I found one that just knocks me out. It's really good. Yeah.

A.K.A. Hennessy, if that's what you call your Sleepy Time Tee. Hey, we going to go get some shots after here? Yeah, bro. Get your ass off me, motherfucker. And then, I mean, you know, a lot of, you know, a lot of us be having close relationships too. Like, tell your cousin, when I come back in town, I'm going to highlight him. You feel me?

Hey, make sure the kids know I said what's up. Tell moms I said, what's good, bro. You feel me? All right, I'm going to highlight you in a minute, boy. She, oh, she at the game. She going to be in the back. All right, I'm going to pull up over. This is all kind of shit.

This is all happening while you're piled on top of each other. That's fantastic. You ever hear one guy say to another guy, I've always loved you. Kings. No. No. Okay. No, that don't.

Okay. Hey, let me ask you about beast mode, because you've got this term that you've now turned into a powerful, you've got this, this company, and it is something that you, this term that you came up with when you would go into beast mode, it was like a superpower. And it really was like you go into beast mode. And I used to think, can you control when you go into beast mode? Or is it like the Hulk where it happens, you can't, it's happening now and I can't stop it.

You know, what's that? Yeah. I said, and then shit get fucked up. Yeah. I don't know. You got me thinking like I'm goddamn superhero or something. You are. Yeah.

I mean, first of all, I look at your highlights. I've never seen anyone play like you. The way that you would just, you were unstoppable, unstoppable, and people would, you know, agree you had gone into some other gear that other human beings don't have. Yeah. Well, I mean, what I think it is more so, I just think it's my mindset more than anything. And yeah, I can control that, I believe, I mean, well, now I can, but, you know, probably early on.

Why can't you control it now? If you saw like a bank robbery happening, you couldn't say, beast mode, activate. And then, and then just break that shit up. Hell no. Watch their ass from a distance. Somebody didn't pay to stop them, that ain't, that's not my thought, I'm sure. I got a lane and I stay in there, my friend, and stopping bank robbers is not, not my job. I don't do that.

Right. So. Good. Good. Okay. All right. Well, I just, I didn't know how much control you had over it in real life. Like, you know, someone comes, you know, someone says, like, like, my wife always

brings me the jar to open it because she, she can't open it. She can't open the mayonnaise jar. You could just be like beast mode, you know, and probably not even touch it, just look at it. Yeah. Like that look, you know, that fucking pop open. I wish I had that much control over it. I mean, you know, maybe in my next phase, but as of right now, no, I still got to pop

that motherfucker open, but no, I think it's more so just my mindset and the way that I, you know, prepared and shit don't want to be stopped at that point in time. It's more so just like, shit, we gonna, we gonna head butt all day because I like that shit. Do you miss that? No. I mean, it's so tough on the body, but do you miss it at all? No.

No. No. No. Big dog. That shit hurt. That shit hurt. Do you hurt a whole week afterwards practically? Oh man.

You know what? To be honest with you, it'll be probably until that following Saturday, Sunday is when the body start feeling ready again, but all during that week, the whole, the whole week is just preparation to get your body back to feeling normal, so that's what five, six days are just maintenance on your body to make sure that you're ready to go and get into what they call it, another car accident. Yeah. I just wanted to train is like, hey man, you know, because they say, each hit is like,

is considered a car crash, so I'll ask them what, how many car crashes you think I would get into every game? You see, on average, maybe from seven to nine. Jesus. What kind of car crashes is these? Because you know, it's like little fender bender or there's some shit that broke off. It's about some shit that broke off. I'm like, damn, I'm out and survived.

Hell of a car crashes. I was excited about that shit. But I mean, you think about it. You think about what your body went through all those years and you're right. The forces on your body are like a car crash and it's happening multiple times. You think about how many games you play in a year or how many years you did it. How do you feel now? Like, does your body feel like it's healed itself?

Do you have, sometimes do you feel something go like, oh man, that's just never going to feel good again, that knee or that hip? No. Well, what it is, is I still practice, you know, and taking care of my body. But I mean, it's not as extensive as it was when I was playing, but you know, I still try to do little things to maintain it. So I don't get to that point. But hell yeah, I wake up sometimes like, God damn, what the fuck is this?

And then I can remember like, oh shit, I remember I got hit back in, shit, 2011. I wake up feeling that way, but I have no reason to feel that way. I did not play in the NFL for all those years. Do you know what I mean? I don't know what I did, you know? Nothing close to what he's been through. Yeah. Yeah, there's no reason for you to feel that way.

But you just had twins, mama. Yeah, I did. That was a lot too. How many car accidents is there? That's right, she had twins. I mean, talk about respect. Just a little mama too. She had twins.

Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, and I told her, you better be at work the next day too. You made me come into work. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I left him at the hospital. I need some time off. Not on my company.

Yeah. Oh, wait a minute. That's illegal. Forget that. Not a hot dog. No, no, no. She's, but that, I mean, you think about that. I think about, my wife had two kids, and I just think about, I mean, yes, we talk about

athletes getting hit like this all the time. Yeah. You just feel like what women do to bring us into the world. I know, huh? It's insane. And you did it twice, all that one-wiped guy, damn girl. Thank you. Yeah.

Congratulations. Thank you so much. Thank you. That's tough. That's tough. Yeah. That's what you did. Wow.

Yeah, that was... Marcia, you look like you're contemplating what a woman goes through in childbirth for the first time ever. It's really hitting you. You're like, wow. No, huh? No, because I've never compared, looked at it as a comparison to you feel me, car accident, playing football, going to smash my head into a motherfucker and then just pushing out two

babies from that little place. So really, of the three of us, I'm the only one here that hasn't done shit. No, yeah. Yeah. But you got hair, though. Oh, now, that's really behind that. Okay. But you got the hair, though.

That's fantastic. That's true. That's true. The hair... No. No, no, no. No, no, no. Don't try to make him feel better.

No, I'm just saying, though, because it's been a long time, like, I used to see this show like, damn, who the fuck is this big head tall, big head, and that hair thing. So I always, you feel me? And then I got an opportunity. I forgot which Superbowl it was. Yeah, we played video games together in a Clueless Gamer segment, and you were hilarious. People loved it, and you got to meet me for the first time and see that, yeah, that hair is real.

I had no idea that he was that goddamn tall with that big ass orange thing on his head. And I thought it was just, like, not real, but it was actually real, so he did with this thing. I shook my head around. And look, it did. You thought it was going to come... You thought it was going to come flying off like a wig. But then it go right back in place.

You tell me I haven't been through shit. Look at this. And that's her... Look! Look back in place! You feel me? I was pulled off, and then when we were up there kicking and talking shit, I'm like, damn, he actually really raw as fuck with this shit.

And I was like, damn. So I think that's how it became that. You feel me? I was like, oh, yeah, this is a friend, though. But he told me it was going to come to a bike ride thing that I do. He ain't came yet, so I'm calling him out on that. I'll do it. Is this for family first?

Yeah, for the foundation. I would love to do, seriously, and I used to work all the time, every day, constantly. Do a show, plus a podcast, plus all my other illegal activities. But I have a whole other stuff going on that you can't know about, but it's gotta stop,

because they're gonna catch me soon. But no, I would love to do that. And you know what? This is something that a lot of people know about you, but really needs to be said again here. You started this family first project, and it really does express your strong feelings about family and friends comes before fame

and comes before money. And you walk the walk. I appreciate it, big dog. Yeah. I sell it. Yeah, I love you. I mean, I see what you do at Thanksgiving when you're getting food into the neighborhoods,

and you're doing everything you can. And I think sometimes there's a lot of people that think, I got here because of my skill, my ability, and so why should I have to share anything? You reflect the philosophy that I believe, which is I didn't get here by myself. You've been very vocal about your mom, and how if your mom hadn't been there,

things might have turned out very differently for you, or it hadn't been such a great figure in your life. Facts. That's the facts. Hell yeah, I know shit, because I remember when I came out of jail the first time, my mom was like, boy, where your ass at?

I'm about to beat the shit out of you. Like, what are you doing? She said that when she first saw you? She said that to me when I first talked to her on the phone. She said, boy, where the hell you at? I'm gonna come beat your ass. What the hell you mean you're getting out of jail? And I was like, shit, in my head, I'm thinking like,

mama, you know I'm a grown ass man. And I'm like, I don't even think she gave like two fucks about that. Like, where as soon as I see you, I'm gonna beat the brakes off your ass. And I'm like, shit, I didn't go see you. You avoided your mom? You're more afraid of your mom than jail.

You're like, you're free to go, Mr. Lynch. No, I'll stay here. You know what? I'm good. Look, in a black community boy, I'm telling you, that mama is a monster. What do you think that Beach Mom shit really comes from? She thinks that Beach Mom shit really comes from.

Moms wasn't playing no games. And shit, Moms was a 200 track star too. So it wasn't that, if I decided to run, like, you hear them feet right behind you. That's when you had to get agile. Yeah. You don't have to see if they'll get some of these juke, juke, jukeys.

Then juke moves on her, hit a 42 fake on her so quick. I had to. You're basically saying that your mom made you this great athlete because she was so fast and you had the outrunner. You had to. Did you ever picture when you were playing in a Super Bowl and you've got the ball and you're running for the goal line

and they're after you? Did you ever picture my moms behind me? They go, Moms, you hear them feet. That's the bare feet too. I don't know what it is about me. For whatever reason, whenever we was racing back in the hood of shit, I don't know why we used to do that. Everybody used to take their shoes off and run barefooted.

And I don't know why. Every time, you step on something. It's guaranteed you're going to step on something. But you'd rather take the pain of stepping on something than losing it in a feet race on concrete straight up. Yeah. My mama used to take them shoes off and get the book in. I would never, ever take my sneakers off and run on concrete

because my feet would shatter instantly. My feet are basically little, little humble figurines that you collect. They're little collectible. They're like made of clay and they would just shatter my feet. They're porcelain. They're porcelain. Yeah, yeah.

They're very delicate. Very beautiful and delicate. Yeah. Gorgeous feet. Gorgeous, sexy porcelain feet. Yeah. I'm telling you. But for your street cred, you probably

have to run barefoot when you're on the road. Yeah, that's going to hurt my street cred. No, it ain't. You're going to have to do it. Because you tell them, you line it up, they're going to tell you, line it up. All right, you talking all that shit, line it up. And the first thing you see them do for anybody who

accepts an ample. They take the sneaker off. All right, well, we've run it too. Life over, life over. Got it. Really? And the sneakers come off. I didn't know that.

I didn't know that the sneakers come off. You know what I do? I'd take my sneakers off and I'd have other sneakers on underneath. Little smaller, smaller sneakers that are. And I'd paint them to look like my feet. And people would say like, he's got weird ass feet. They're kind of sneaker shaped.

And they say Nike on the side, but they've got little toes painted on them. And I would say, I'm ready to go. Did he win or lose? Yeah, I would lose. Oh, man, that's shit. Well, let's figure this out, because I want to come. I want you to show me around.

I will participate. I want to help your cause. I want to be there. So let's figure it out. All right, so. How long is the bike ride? 24 miles. OK, this isn't happening.

No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Oh, shit. I didn't tell you, my heart is also made of porcelain. Hey, no, no, it's not a race. I'm actually in decent shape. It's not a race. And I love to ride.

And I would, I seriously, I'll shift my bike up. I'll come up and I'll ride. And then we'll visit your hood. And I will either get cred or you will lose your cred. So we're going to get you to start a pack. We're going to get you, show going to get you a beanie. No, we can't get you a beanie. Why?

They can't cover their hair, bro. That's the Johnny Bravo hair, bro. It's just, I've been damned, bro. I've been trying to, man. You finally figured out. You finally figured out where it comes from. Yes, I stole this hair from Johnny Bravo. Fuck.

Look at that, look at that, look what I can do with it. See, man, I got powers. That's my beast mode right there. Someday my hair isn't there and it's just flopping down and I'm in a funk and then other times, and then I get, you've seen it so now I get crazed and the hair just comes up to action. Yeah.

We're going to get you some J's too. What's your favorite number? I guess 29. All right. I don't know if Jordan, they got Jordan 29's. I'm pretty sure they do. I see what you're doing. We're going to get you some J's.

You don't trust me to dress cool. That's what's happening here. No, no, no, no, no. But when you count, look. That's exactly what's happening here. See, look, man. This is all coming up. Oh, it's, Marshawn's a really nice guy.

And now you're like, no, we're getting you new underwear too. No, bro, you don't trust me. You wear whatever kind of drugs you want to, bro. But I'm just saying, as far as y'all can see me. I like to go commando. Amen. Amen. Come on, that's something America needed to hear.

Hey, man, mobile. I gotta let that stuff breathe, you know? But we're going to get you some J's. You see what I mean? We're going to get you some purple jeans, get you a dope air hoodie. You feel me, though? All right.

And we're going to have you out there sliding and hell of a shit. You're going to fuck with it. Can you get that wheel up? Yeah, I can get the wheel up, but then it keeps going and I crash. I don't get the wheel up and keep it up. No, we don't need you to crash,

but maybe wheel up, wheel down, fuck with it a little bit. I'll get it. I'll do some tricks. I'll do some stuff. I'm going to get very badly hurt, but I'm going to do whatever you tell me to do. No, no, that's not. No, I want to go.

I want to help out because I'm very impressed with what you're doing. And I think it's very meaningful. Straight up. I appreciate it. Now, tell me about this other business venture. This is Beast Mode. Tell me about this business venture that you're doing.

You've got a lot going on. Beast Mode marketing? Yeah, Beast Mode marketing. Well, I mean, I wasn't really feeling the marketing side of the company I was dealing with. So then I had a young running back that's from the Bay Area was coming. I was like, hey, bro, I want you to represent me.

And I'm like, what you mean? Like, I want you to represent me like my agent and shit. I'm like, oh, no, bro, I can't do that, bro. Like, that's not my lane. I'm like, but I'm very able to help you on some marketing shit. He like, cool, I want you to do my marketing. I'm like, you sure?

He like, yeah. So I was like, fuck, okay. So I got with B. We went and got a business for it. And every since then we've just been rocking. So it really just came, came together just basically off one of my little homies needed some help. So I went ahead and created a business for it.

That's, I mean, to me, what you essentially did is you're a huge star. You are very well liked and people love seeing you in commercials. And you said, you know what? This is not, I don't think I'm being heard. I'm gonna do this for myself with my friends and we're gonna do this in a way that makes sense for me.

Which it, yeah. Makes sense for us. When I think about things, it's just me. It's Conan O'Brien needs a friend. It's team Coco. You see how it works. Sorry. Yeah.

I took a limo here and I made someone walk. He didn't let me take my car. Yeah, yeah. She has a car. I won't let her use it. She has to walk. No, I'm kidding, but I think what you did was you took control yourself

and that's a part of your personality you've always had, which is I'm not gonna do something I don't wanna do. You are very, very vocal about the fact that you are in control of your destiny and you know who you are. You're not looking to please everybody else. A lot of young athletes out there who think, well, I gotta play the game.

I just gotta keep playing the game. The legwork in that too is started a long time ago. And I mean, the trials and tribulations that I done being through, I say with building that, there was times where I jeopardized my career by doing some of the shit that I was doing. And when the backfire and shit hit the fan, it was like, okay, well,

now you can also play the game on this type of situation and go and do the, oh yeah, I messed up and all that type of shit. And I was like, well, to be honest with you, I knew exactly what it was all done. So I'm gonna stand on my own 10 toes. Yeah, I did that shit and man, you know what? I mean, I just took accountability and ownership

for the shit that I did. And we go play somewhere and they, hey, you fucking asshole, you ain't shit. You did X, Y, and Z and you was in jail. Like, yeah, you right up. You goddamn right, motherfucking. If you don't shut your ass up, might be going back because I come up there

and you know what's up. Oh yeah, oh yeah. No, no, no, that's not what we want. Go ahead and have a good game. Oh yeah, that motherfucker did just get in trouble for doing some shit like, hey, no, that's cool. But I mean, you know. Well, you know who you are.

You know who you are and a lot of people don't. A lot of people are, or they're trying to figure out who they are, they're trying to manufacture who they are. You got to be you. You got to be comfortable. You got to be comfortable. You got to be comfortable when you take them shoes off and then you 10 toes down.

You got to be, you got to be comfortable. And I don't feel a lot of people, you know, a lot of people are. I mean, they can, you know, pretend that they are and they can put it out there as if they is, but shit, when I go to sleep at night, shit, I'll be slobbing the hell of shit because I'm getting that good rest

when I do decide to go to sleep. But yeah, I'm getting. You're not, are you turning in at nine? Little warm milk and then you turn right in. Watch some matlock and then just pass out. You ageing me, huh? I spotted you as a matlock fan a long time ago. You got matlock written all over you.

Man, that's sometimes the only thing that come through on that, on my little TV with the black and white and the lines going through that motherfucker. I remember that time. I don't know what the hell was going on, but it was the most entertaining shit on TV. Like now there's a million things on TV all the time

because you've got so much, so many choices. When we were kids, we watched what was on. So you'd turn on the TV and there's like, there's a Catholic mass on channel four and you'd say like, we're not gonna do that. And then you turned to another station and it's some old black and white movie. That's what we're watching.

Cause there's no such thing as, you know. Clicking that goddamn knob. Hell yeah, I'm telling you straight up. But now you can go on Netflix and turn on Motorville and be like, damn, look at blood up there. He's straight up my ass. Hey, I got to ask you, where are you going to be watching the Super Bowl?

Cause whatever party you're at is going to be the party to be at. I haven't put too much thought into it. But wherever you show up is going to be the place to be. I will tell you, you have that power. He doesn't want to tell you in case you can't. No, no, we'll talk though. Come in, it's not like you feel it when I say we'll talk though.

Hello, fellows, I'm here. I'm ready to watch people toss the pigskin around. But hold on, man. I brought rice pudding for everybody. Which show was it, man? I gave you your hood sling and I told you, you got a phrase that when you come to the hood, you got to say it.

I don't remember. I don't remember what it was. What was it? You is. You is. You is. You is. You is.

That's right, I remember. I'm going to say you is, right? You is. What does that mean? Why am I saying that? I'm going to walk around Oakland going, you is. You, not you is. What?

You is. You is. You is. You is. I'm trying to get it. Right there. You is. You is.

You is. You is. There you go. You is. Yeah. What is happening? You is. I can't stop now.

I'm going to do that in Oakland. On your bike. You is. I'm going to get on a very small tricycle. Oh. We're super short shorts and a hat with a feather in it and drive around Oakland going, you is. You is.

And I'll never be heard from again. No, that ain't the facts. That ain't the facts. March on, you are one of my favorite people. I say that with great honesty. You are funny. Obviously, you're an incredibly talented athlete, but that's just 1% of what you are. You're just such a great spirit and everyone knows it.

I think that's the other nice thing is that when you show up in a commercial, when you show up anywhere, people are happy because you radiate, you radiate good stuff. You really do. You're a good person. And I admire you. I can't wait to come up to Oakland. I'm really coming. And you and everyone can laugh at me as much as you want.

I don't care. I'll be there to be laughed at. No, man, we're going to laugh with you, big dog. We're going to laugh with you. I think there's going to be some of both. Hey, Marshawn Lynch, thank you so much for being here. Yeah, real honor to have you here. Marshawn Lynch, everybody.

It's nice to meet you. It's so nice to meet you, too. I swear to God, he is, I get to talk to everybody. Yeah. I've been able to meet everybody and then there's something about him that's so completely unusual and different. He's so authentic. He's got this aura.

He's like the coolest guy in the room. He's the nicest guy in the room. He's the funniest guy in the room. And he tells it like it is, which is amazing. And I love when you two get together. I think it's because you're, I'm not saying this to hurt your feelings. You're very different from each other as in like he's like very laid back and chill. And he's an amazing athlete.

He's an amazing athlete. And he's respected. And he's respected. And he's just the worst. You know, he's just, he zoos, you know, confidence. He was one of the greats at what he did. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay. Listen. Damn it. No, but I mean, I like when you two get together. No, we always have a good time and it is one of those pairings that no one would see coming. Yeah. It's Conan and Marshall Lynch and then it's delightful. Like it's just so much fun.

And I just love him. He, I don't think he's always looking at me like, why am I with this guy? Yeah. But I think he has affection for me, but he's also looking over at me like, I can't believe he really looks like that. Yeah. He loves your hair. I can't believe he stuck with that choice.

Um, anyway, we have, uh, something a little different we're going to do today on the podcast. Occasionally we have a fans call in and they ask a question and we thought maybe since we do have an audience here, um, maybe if anybody does have a question for myself or for Sona or for both of us, you might want to ask it right now. We're going to ask, believe it or not, Sona has an assistant who assists her. It's David Hopping. Let's bring him out here. Now I want to talk to David for a second.

First of all, um, David, why does Sona have an assistant when her job is to assist me and she doesn't really assist me that much? So what's, what's the deal? Well, she's busy doing other things. Yeah. No, long before, long before she had twins, long before these twins were even on the horizon, she was like, I need help. Enter David Hopping and you've been fantastic.

Thank God she did. Yeah. For me. Well, you know, and I just want to do a quick plug. You have your own podcast. Let's get it. Yeah. Tell us about that.

It's called Back to the Best. I hosted with my friend, Grace Isaacs. And it's quite good. Thank you. Yeah. It's all about 90s and 2000s, like Disney Channel and things that we grew up watching. Yeah. I can't believe you just named, uh, you said we grew up watching that stuff when you, 90s

and 2000s. I was, I was old then. When you talk nostalgically about, oh, the late 2000s. I was a little boy and I used to think someday. And I'm like, what are you talking about? I was 70 then. But thank you for helping Sona help me. Of course.

You, you really are. You, you get it done. Now he's just really mostly helping you and I'm just kind of sat back and let him just take over my job. Yeah. You also know a lot though. Yeah. Well, just to talk about television.

Yeah. I don't think it's about work or anything. Just to catch up. Well, David, do you mind going out and seeing if there's anybody out there in this crowd of 20 people, responsibly masked in distance to see if anybody, uh, there's a hand up right there if they have a question. Yeah. Hey, hey guys.

So my question is, uh, what can you be know about the new show that you'll be doing and when can we expect it? And would you still be doing the remotes that we all love? Okay. Uh, that's a very good question. Question is first of all, um, it's the same question that, uh, HBO Max is asking me all the time. So Conan, that show that you were going to do right after the old one, uh-huh.

Guys, you ever have a term paper when you were in high school and it was due on a Thursday and Thursday came by, you didn't have it. No, uh, we are working on something. I can't tell you exactly when it's, when it's going to come out. It will not be a night to night show. Um, and I can't say too much about it, but what I will say is that, um, what I'd like to do or focus on is the stuff I do that I think maybe I'm particularly useful at or, or adept at, I want to double down on all that.

So when you talk about remotes and things where I'm with real people and in real situations, that's exactly the kind of stuff that I'm thinking about. And that's what I want to do is it's a real, uh, it's just a joy when I walk around, people come up to me and because of YouTube, there's all this stuff. Yeah. Some with, some with Sona, there's, you know, there's stuff with, uh, obviously with Kevin Hart and Ice Cube, but then there's stuff, you know, when I go to the American Girls Store and I'm, uh, uh, you know.

The commercial acting one I loved. Um, yeah, there's just so many different, so many different ones and some of them, you know, from the old show, from the late night show going back to the, to the 90s, uh, which is crazy to say that now, but, um, those, those are really meaningful to me and I love, people will come up to me and they have just seen them. And I mean all over the world, if I go, when I travel, people will say, Yeah. I just saw that one where you went to, uh, a Korean spa.

Yeah. You know, um, and I saw your whole body and I can't unsee it. Uh, In, in countries where your show never aired, they know you because of, of YouTube and your remoteness. Yeah. And it's really nice because, uh, the stuff that I like about that comedy is, um, and, and the Jordan stuff.

People go crazy for the Jordan stuff and Jordan in Italy and just the different times. I mean, I've, and, and I mean, I've been in parts of the world, you know, I was in, uh, I think I was in Ghana and someone on the street asked me, is Jordan for real? How much of that? I'm like, I'm in Africa. Yeah. How do you even know who I am? But they do, they know, and it's really, uh, a joy.

And so I'd like to, I would like to add to that, um, mountain of foolishness. I would love to add some more foolishness to that mountain. But thank you. That was a really nice question. David, do you, does anyone else here have a question for me? Conan. Hey, Sona. Hey.

Conan, your murder of the lost episode was awesome. Oh, thank you. So was March on. Um, how did that come about? And do you think that you would do more stuff like that and do people approach you to, to make appearances like that? Well, I, um, that's, that's a good question too. Uh, so I'll tell you exactly what happened.

A lot of things I say no to, because it just doesn't feel right. I get a text, it's Will Arnett, and he says, I, can I get on the phone with you? And, um, I said, sure. So he basically said, Hey, I'm doing this project. It's a really silly detective show. And I'm always teamed with someone who doesn't know what's happening. It'll be two days of shooting in the valley. And Will Arnett is one of my favorite funny people.

So when all, he didn't even finish the sentence. And I said, yes. And then he did that thing where he was like, I mean, uh, I think it'd be really good. Yeah, it's a great Will Arnett. GMC trucks. Uh, and then it's quite strange. They don't tell you anything. All I knew was that I was a trainee and you're in your trailer, they come in,

hair, makeup, you're waiting, you're waiting, you're waiting. Then they bring you into this giant warehouse where they're shooting and they bring you in the back. And I haven't even seen Will yet. I haven't seen anybody. And I'm behind a door. And they say, when someone taps, you go in and I can just barely hear what they're saying because I'm on the other side of all this, uh, you know, this set.

And, um, I'm quite a distance away. And I just hear, you've got a new partner, you know, not a new partner. Well, here he is right now. Let's get him in here. And then someone just taps you on the back and you walk in. And the next thing you know, um, I haven't seen it yet myself, but people can tell me I keep saluting people. You do.

And, um, I don't know what's happening. Yeah. And I just will say things and Will's trying to make me laugh and I'm trying to make Will laugh and. There are moments when you, you broke. Oh, I had to. Or just like having a really. Yeah, he kept, you know, and, and, um, there are little things like

they bring this guy in and cuffs and this magician. And then he's pulling all this stuff out and I'm like, don't people get searched when they, you know, and, and Will does this thing where he laughs and holds his. So then it's really fun, but, um, it's kind of like an escape room or something. Like you don't know what's happening. It's a really good idea. I think for a show, I've had a lot of people say was the hot sauce thing real.

And I was like, yes, it was really real. That was very hot, hot sauce and Will kept putting more and more on. And my thing was I'm going to eat as much of this as I can. And my eyes are watering. And then when the scene was over, someone came walking up to me, everyone's masked and everything, but walking up to me with a big plastic bucket and said, if you need to throw up, I'm like, you were prepared for me to throw up.

They didn't give you like milk or anything. They, someone was standing there with milk, but I think they were drinking it. Anyway, it was really fun to do. And yes, at this point, I like saying, um, if something sounds like it could be interesting or different or fun, I'm really up for it. So I'm looking for those opportunities. Yes. Question down here.

David, you're doing a really good job. Thank you so much. Yeah. Hi, Sona. Hi, Conan. Thank you for doing this first of all. Oh, this was fun. Like I said, we're, this is a very nice facility.

I'm not used to things this level of professionalism. We use tin cans and a string where we, so this is really cool. My question is that we all know Sona has a book coming out very soon. We're very excited about that. Oh, thank you. Would you ever consider writing a book? I think it'd be great. Yep.

I want to see how Sona's book goes first. Wait, why? Well, because, you know, I don't know. I mean, I've read through a lot of Sona's book, but you know, what if I'm arrested after Sona's book comes out? I would be arrested. Well, yeah. But you're also, you know, the two of us should be arrested together.

Yes, that's true. Yeah. There's plenty of us just acting like total idiots in the workplace. So, but yeah, I am interested in one day writing. I've, I had a very unusual show business life and a lot of crazy twists and turns that to this day are hard to explain to people. Even Kevin Hart didn't quite know the story of how I got the show back in 93. And I was talking to him the other day.

And when I told him how I got the first late night show, his jaw fell off. He just couldn't understand that that was my. So I've had a very improbable, weird, kooky career. I've been incredibly lucky and had a lot of insane breaks and then crazy, crazy good things happen, crazy bad things happen. And so I really do need to write it all down. The one thing that sometimes gets in the way is I don't really want to like hurt people's feelings.

And there's, if I really told the truth, you know, there's some people that might not be happy, but you'll get over it. Yeah. But no, I would very much like to do that. So, yeah, but as soon as book I have read and it's really good. It's really funny. And the crazy thing is that it's all true. So I'm looking forward to it.

And Conan wrote the forward. I wrote a forward to the best part of the book. No, no, no. I think people are going to like this book because it's all exactly true and you can't believe that she wasn't fired 150 times. And you can't believe I wasn't fired 70 times. So I'm really looking forward to it. And it's called World's Worst Assistant.

Yes, it is. Yeah. Yeah. Comes out in July. Perfect. Using your thing to plug my book. Yeah. Well, please.

You can pre-order it now. Okay. Take it easy. All right. Yeah. Pre-order my book. Comes out July. Okay.

That's fine. Yeah. Also. That's great. A lot of behind the scenes stories. Yeah. Real fun anecdotes. Yeah.

Conan O'Brien wrote the forward. Yeah. Okay. We get it. Yeah. Really great. Yeah. Anything else you'd like to plug?

Oh, Sona's renting out her twins. Yeah. Mikey and Charlie are available for yard work. They can't quite stand yet. No. You said one of them can kind of crawl, right? One of them is doing an army crawl. Yeah.

So he can do some work. Right. I mean, their dad is a former Soviet. Sure. So we're getting them started pretty early. Yeah. So, yeah. All right.

Well, listen. Rent my children. My babies. And buy my book. Pre-order the world's worst assistant. You're just a terrible person. The way you're selling, you're like, you're making Trump look shy, you know? No, but pre-order right now.

All right. Stop it. Okay. All right. Disgusting. You're sick of me. Without July. All right.

Just wrong. The world's worst assistant. Got it. And the show. This has been a lot of fun. I want to thank everyone at Sirius for inviting us to do this because as I say, this is a state of the art, crazy nice spaceship that they've let us use. And this was really happy to be invited to come in here and do it.

This is cool. I want to thank our audience who came in and you guys are very nice. Of course, David Hopping, Sonam of Sessian, our shout out to Matt Gorely who couldn't be here today because he actually cares about his child and wanted to keep listening. We're really thrilled to do these podcasts and we love our fans. You guys are the best. Thank you. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian and Matt Gorely, produced by me, Matt Gorely, executive

produced by Adam Sacks, Joanna Solotarov and Jeff Ross at Team Coco and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Year Wolf, theme song by the White Stripes, incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples, engineering by Will Bekdon, talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista and Brick Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read

on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 323-451-2821 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded. This has been a Team Coco production in association with Ear Wolf.