Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Matt Damon
Episode Date: January 12, 2026Actor Matt Damon feels good about being Conan O’Brien’s friend. Matt sits down with Conan to discuss sharing a bank account with Ben Affleck at the start of their careers, the key to running conv...incingly in movies, his latest film The Rip, and more. For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com.Got a question for Conan? Call our voicemail: (669) 587-2847. Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/conan. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hi, my name is Matt Damon, and I feel good about being Conan O'Brien's friend.
I was encouraging you beforehand really go after me, and you chose to be a kind man.
In the most Anodyne answer, that is true.
Fall is here, hear the yell, back to school, ring the bell, brand new shoes, walking blues,
climb the fence, books and pens, I can tell that we are going to need.
friends. I can tell never we are going to be friends.
Hey there. Welcome to Connor O'Brien needs a friend. I just freaked out my co-workers.
You okay? I am now. Yeah, I was looking up at the light that's above us. Is that a bug? Is that a
dead bug? I didn't even notice that. Oh, okay. I was just looking up at the light and I went into a little
bit of a trance and all of you were staring at me and I think I think I left my body. Well, you
weren't just in a trance. You were making the sound of like a dripping faucet.
Yeah, I was going, yeah.
I don't know what I was doing there.
I've been working a lot lately, and I had something I had to do last night,
and so I'm not well rested, and I feel a little high, even though I've taken no substances.
So just seconds ago, I was staring up at the light above us when you said, okay, Conan, do the intro,
and I was doing this with my mouth.
And I wasn't doing it again.
I wasn't doing a bit.
I wasn't trying to be funny.
I was just looking up at the light and making that noise.
And then I looked down and you were all staring at me as if I were some sort of side show freak.
Are you okay?
Are you okay?
I'm not.
I don't think I'm okay.
Are you really tired?
Are you tired?
Yeah, yeah, a little bit, but you never tell the audience you're tired.
You've always want people thinking, you just prefaced it that you were tired.
Yeah, you said you were tired because you said you did something yesterday and you slept late.
So like you did that.
There's no audience.
I just did what Peter Sellers does as CluSell and it's one of my favorite things.
but I wasn't doing it on purpose.
He walks into an interrogation room
and he says, you know,
because there's been a kidnapping
and he says,
I'm here, you know,
to investigate the murder.
And someone goes, murder,
and he says, who said murder?
And they said, you said murder.
And he said, I don't say murder.
And I've always loved that.
It's such a funny thing.
And I just did it for real.
I don't know what's going on with me.
I'm a little scrambled today.
But that could be fun.
Maybe that's going to loosen my brain a little bit
and various creative
juices will flow. Who can say? Okay. I'm worried about you. Are you really? Yeah. Well, also,
you're wearing this very cozy flannel. It almost looks like you're in PJs and that you've kind of
just woken up and, you know, or you're ready for bed and that we should tuck you in or something.
I don't wear flannel a lot. I like it. That is true. It's nice. I should wear flannel a little
more often. Yeah. We're in the winter months now, which in L.A. means it's not 72.
It's 71 degrees. Yeah. It's freezing out. So sometimes flannel is necessary. I do. I mean,
come on, that's something I want to talk about.
I want to see my breath at night.
I want it to be cold.
You never go with me on this, but I like to wear layers.
And I was just on the East Coast recently doing some work there, and I was wearing these
sweaters, and I was dressed like an adult.
I was wearing a pea coat, and I was walking around in it, and I had sweaters, and I would
sometimes wear an overcoat, and I'd look like a gentleman.
And then I come back to L.A. and it's time to put on my hoof,
T-shirt.
Look, do I think this is a great opening segment?
No, I don't.
I think we've lost our way.
It started with, it started with me staring at a light going, we started at a deficit.
Yeah, and, yeah, exactly, which we inherited from the Biden administration.
But to be fair, you can't blame me, even though it's a year into my podcast administration,
this is what I inherited when I started this venture.
adventure five years ago.
Are you okay?
What are you doing?
Beepo, beepo, beep.
Now, you're touching the sides of the mic
and saying beepoo, beepoo, people.
Okay, I see.
People, beepo, beep.
Okay, you think that because I set such a low bar
that now you're free to just completely go.
Can we just do?
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, he's using his microphone as a shaver.
Yeah.
That's cool.
No, no, no.
I think we're showing such disrespect for the people who...
Am I distorted through this glass?
Yes, you are.
Yeah, it looks like a dolly sketch.
Yeah. Look at us.
We're bringing our A game today.
Well, I respect our audience.
They pay a lot to listen to this podcast.
Do they pay a lot?
No, they don't pay anything.
Okay.
Well, then what are we worried about?
We're giving them what that's worried.
You get what you pay for, listeners.
You got exactly what you pay for.
No, we're using, they have precious life.
Once again, I ran into someone on the street today here in Larchmont who said that they were just listening to the podcast.
we are borrowing chunks of people's life
that they will never get back.
Also, I think this might be the last episode of the year,
so it's okay if our tanks are a little empty.
No, it's not.
We have to, now you've put a whole new level of pressure on it.
Go out with a bang.
Don't blame me.
You started this episode making dripping noises.
Clearly wasn't ready.
And you, as the maestro behind this whole operation,
should have said he's not ready, let's wait.
Or maybe we could have had a huddle.
Or maybe you could have asked me,
are you okay off mic?
I'd be saying that every day.
on Mike.
Who does that?
What kind of doctor are you?
I thought it made good content.
So for some people, this is the last episode of the year.
For others, it's the first episode.
Oh, no.
We can't start this way?
Oh, God.
No, can we do it better?
Yeah, we can do better?
Let's start again.
Say something.
Well, also, can I just say, I don't think of the New Year's as the new year.
I think a fall is the beginning of the year.
No, no, no.
That's because you're still a child who gets peanut butter and jelly sandwich and puts on your short pants and goes off to school.
And I mean college.
That's good, though.
Let's start again, because I think we can do better.
Yeah.
Are we starting again for real?
Like, we're ditching this?
I don't even know what's real and what's not anymore.
Oh, my gosh.
This is just a weird.
I can count a weird, some sort of weird Bermuda Triangle.
It could be because we were off for so long.
We're having trouble finding our footing.
That could be it.
But that wasn't the case yesterday.
We were hitting.
Were we hit?
We were like, okay.
At least I felt okay.
We were hitting.
Yesterday was actually very good.
Was it?
Yeah.
I don't know.
When do you have standards?
What are you doing?
I don't have standards.
That's the problem is even I think this is bad.
And my standards are really low.
I think right now and this, maybe this is, yes, you do think.
Oh, my God.
This is a good thing for people to hear that their heroes struggle as well.
I think we're twice, twice have we ever ditched a take on something.
We almost always keep things.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You don't want to mention it.
I don't know, whatever.
What's this now?
What are you taking it?
No, I'm taking it.
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
I was getting, I was pulling this whole thing to, this is awful.
I woke up from my, from my primordial slumber and started to pull it back together again.
And then you mutter and reference something and look at you and you make noises with your mouth, but no words.
I know.
Blaming us for this.
Yeah, yeah.
You're the one who started it.
It trickles down.
I'm back and I'm better than ever.
Okay.
Hey, welcome to Conan O'Brien needs a friend.
The podcast that delivers every single time with never a false start, never a missed opportunity.
Sona, Mofsestian has joined me.
Yes, hi, I'm here.
Yeah, you are here.
And Matt Goreley, how are you?
I'm well, thank you.
You look fantastic.
Hey, so do you, thank you.
I'm doing the best I can.
I'm wearing a flannel shirt today.
It's cozy.
It's very nice.
Bought it just down the street.
I'd say the name of the store, but maybe that's cheating.
I don't know.
Give them a free plug.
Farity, they make a really good sweater.
I like their stuff.
They have very good stuff and I'm a regular customer.
But that's not the point.
I'm here to talk about what I think is the topic on everyone's lips right now, which is the holidays.
Because this is going to air when, Adam?
January 5th for most people.
Yeah, that's still the holidays.
Or is it?
This is so confusing.
It's not the holidays.
It's okay.
Can we go back to the inept one?
No.
No.
No.
You said rap?
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
I thought I had saved it.
And then I said, let's talk about the holiday.
forgetting that this comes out January 5th when everyone's in a deep depression.
And just the mere mention of holidays makes you want to eat a gun.
My birthday is January 7th, by the way.
Trust me.
Every year at your birthday, I'm excusing myself to try and end it all.
Oh, my God.
Hey, it's almost the year and anniversary of my house burning down.
Oh, my God, that's right.
Let's make it worse.
Let's make it worse.
On time.
My parents passing year anniversary.
Oh, my God.
Did you know what?
We got through all of that.
And then the greatest tragedy of all hit us, a very bad opening segment.
That's worse than all of those things.
And yet we're still here.
And I love you, Sona.
And I love you, Borley.
And together we're going to make this year.
This is a great moment.
Let's do it.
Yeah.
Okay.
2026, it can't get any worse.
Yeah.
My guest today is an actor you know from such films as Goodwill Hunting, the Martian, and the Born Identity.
Now you can see him in the new Netflix movie, The Rip.
What can I say?
He's a superstar.
He's an international megastar.
He also is a lovely gentleman.
Matt Damon.
Welcome.
Thank you so much for being here.
And we have a lot to talk about.
today and I just I wanted to start with I think I've brought this up to you before but not on microphone we didn't monetize it um
those are the only conversations that are worthwhile I want to sell some ads. Are you going to talk about the new Buick? What is this?
Matt and I are very excited about the new Buick. Um, Hyundai. No, uh, my brother took me to a bar, uh, years ago.
And this was short, this isn't too long. It might have been a year or two after goodwill. Goodwill.
It's Goodwill hunting or, you know, maybe early born.
It was before that.
It was before born.
It was late.
It was in the 90s, though.
Okay, it was in the 90s.
Yeah.
And I'm in town.
We're both.
Wasn't it like Christmas night or something?
It was Christmas night.
And my brother said, hey, we could hang out with our, this is my brother Luke.
We could hang out with our parents or we could blow this place and go.
All they did was, you know, create us.
We could go to this really cool, cool bar I know called the B-side and the B-side lounge.
And I said, yeah, yeah, you know, screw the elderly.
And so we go over there and I walk into this very cool establishment and just like a really
cool place to hang bar.
And you're sitting there.
Because Ben and I had had the exact same conversation.
Get the fuck out of here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
You guys were escaping.
And so I just see you sitting at the, sitting there.
And I go over.
And you couldn't have been nicer.
We're chatting.
I think we had briefly met before, but not really, like, talked.
And within minutes, you and I are talking about Flannery O'Connor.
That's what I remember.
And I remember thinking, I don't know that there are many movie stars that would start talking to me about Flannery O'Connor.
You know what I mean?
I thought it was very, I was like, this guy is...
There are a lot of people who read books, though.
No, there aren't.
There aren't.
I test a lot of movie stars.
Most of them can't read.
I can't read at all.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Tom Hanks cannot read.
He can type, but he can't read.
He can type, but it's like a monkey at a typewriter.
Yeah.
And also, I mean, so many huge stars can't.
You know, Liam Nieson can't tell time.
And I'll ask him, hey, Liam, what time is it?
And he shows me his watch and says, what do you think?
Unbelievable.
But you're scared to answer because of the way he said.
You have a certain set of skills, but not telling time.
You don't have all the skills.
You're lacking.
By the way, Ben and I were extras in a movie called The Good Mother that Liam Neeson was the star of in the 80s.
And we were still in high school.
And I think it still exists in the movie.
They were shooting in Harvard Square.
And we went and we were extras.
And we walked by Liam Neeson.
A very, like an adolescent or teenage, you know, Ben and Matt walked by a very young Liam.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That was as close as I ever got to him.
But, yeah, I'm a big fan.
What you just said reminds me that, you know, you know,
You guys, you know, were good friends long before you became famous and you were working together
and kind of on a mission to make it in this business.
And you had a, I've read before that you had a bank account together.
A Bay Bank's account.
Remember Bay Bank?
Of course I do.
So we had a shared Bay Banks account that we would put money in that we had made professionally.
So if we got any part, like that extra work, for instance, you get, you know, 50 bucks or
$100 or $100, depending if it was a union job, you'd get $100.
And that money would go into our shared account.
And that account we could only use for auditions in New York where, you know, we take the bus or back there.
They didn't have the Pan Am shuttle or whatever, the train.
Get down to New York, you know, walk in, you know, which, you know, took however long five hours to get down there.
You know, you walk into the place somewhere in Midtown.
And, you know, in three minutes, they're like, okay, thanks.
Which is we used to call it getting okay, thanks.
Because you go there and beat your chest and pull your hair out and sob and they go, okay, thanks.
And you're done.
And then you go all the way back to Boston.
But we had this account.
We could use the money for that.
Or we could use the money for video games at 1,0001, which was the arcade on Mass Ave.
Yep.
Or, you know, when we got older, if we could find anyone to buy us beer.
So those were the three uses for the account.
You were very responsible young men.
But the, you know, talk about like intentionality, the code to the account was River P.
because River Phoenix was an actor that we really admired.
He was our age and he was getting the kind of parts that we wanted to play.
And so that was our secret code to get into our shared bank account.
It's interesting.
I don't know about you, but I think about a lot,
and I have wistfully about early experiences before anybody knows who I am.
You know, I'm headed to something to audition and someone says,
well, you should have makeup because it might be a camera test.
And so I went to a drugstore and purchased.
makeup at a counter.
And the woman said,
well, what is it you're trying to do?
And I said, they said I need makeup.
And then sitting in my,
this is out here in L.A.,
sitting in my 1977,
beat up Isuzu Opel,
and putting it on myself
with a rearview mirror,
and then going in and being terrible.
But she told you lipstick and blush.
Yeah.
Yeah, they were like,
that kabuki guy was awful.
Did you see Divine?
You look like Marlon Brando in the island of Dr. Moreau.
What is up with that kid?
Yeah.
It was a taco commercial.
Why was he doing that?
Why was he?
But I think about those things all the time, and I kind of, it's funny, I have an affection
for that whippersnapper.
And I don't know if you, I mean, you and Ben must have so many memories of being an extra.
Yeah.
And they're telling you, chew more slowly or whatever.
You have no lines.
Get the fuck away from the craft service.
Yeah, get away.
You know, that's not extras.
You know, it's like, it's, it's, it's, you know, it can be demeaning work.
But we were interested in it and we loved being on sets.
And it was like, we were thrilled to be there.
And, and yeah, I mean, it was a lot of, I mean, you know, the starting out in the business is, I think it's, I think, you know, my nephew's an actor.
It's different now in the sense that they, they're, they're allowed to put themselves.
on tape now. You know, it was a different auditioning was like you had to go, show up at the
appointed time, you walked into the room and you had one shot at it. And that was it. And now,
you know, that younger actors are allowed to kind of, all actors are allowed to video themselves
and work on it until they can curate it, get it, just right. Get it to, get it to, and say,
this is the best representation of me for this part, which is a very different thing. And, you know,
there's a lot of humiliation in the starting out, as you know, like those things. I find, I'm
continually humiliated now.
Well, there's a lot of humiliating in general.
It's a very, hey, it's a very vulnerable thing to do.
You know, I discovered her on.
I was being humiliated, and then I kind of liked it.
And then I turned it into a career.
When I did The Rainmaker with Coppola, like 30 years ago,
he did this amazing thing every morning, you know,
when a new actor would come, he would go down to the base camp
where everybody gets ready in the morning.
And in the parking lot, like right in the, you know,
where all the kind of trailers are,
he would gather all of the actors, and he would play theater games,
right? Like soundball, for instance. And soundball is this game you play in kind of acting school
where I throw a ball to you and I have to make a noise like bloop or whatever. And it's an invisible
ball, obviously. It's not a real ball. It's a space ball. It's an air ball. And you catch it and you
have to make my sound bloop and then you have to make a new sound bleep and you throw it to someone else.
And it is the dumbest thing in the world. But Francis would do this with all the, I'm talking like
Mickey Rourke. I'm talking about hardcore.
Like very serious people.
I'm picturing the cast of the Godfather now.
No, it was James Conn.
I know, I know, but it was John Void.
It was like these wonderful actors, right?
And the idea was, and Francis would do it.
And he would start.
And he was this, you know, iconic.
Yeah, of course.
You know, the godfathers, the apocalypse now.
I mean, you know, the conversation on and on, on.
All of these brilliant movies.
And the whole point was to kind of level set everybody.
This is a place where you can be completely foolish and vulnerable.
Yeah. And I'm going to do it too, right? And because that's a part of it. It's like you really got to put yourself out there if you're doing it right. And so there are the requisite amount of humiliations that come all that accompany that, even as you get successful. Like, you know, if you're doing a tough scene, you might have to break a lot of eggs to get the omelet. You know what I mean? And you have to do that in front of everybody. Yeah. I'm thinking about the list of people, directors that you've worked with. And it's an insane.
Coppola, Scorsese, help me out here.
There's a lot.
There's Eastwood, Eastwood, Spielberg.
Clint, Chris Nolan.
And you know, the one I'm most interested in kind of is,
I mean, they're all iconic directors and amazing,
but I don't have a sense of what Eastwood would be like,
as a director.
I've always heard it was like one take or he's quick.
Yeah.
The very first day, so I worked with them twice,
and the first time was,
Invictus. So I was playing a South African rugby player. And that's a really tough accent to do.
So I spent six months, there's this great dialect coach named Tim Monick, very famous in our world.
And he's wonderful. And I've known him for a very long time. And Tim would come, I was living in
Miami at the time. And he would come, and I had a little office over the garage. And he would come in
from 9 to 5, Monday through Friday, we would work on this accent. Because South Africans speak
English, it's like their tongue does the exact opposite thing that ours. Like if I see,
say, I'll be right back. If you say it, and you think about what your tongue's doing,
they say, oh, it'll be like big. Oh, yeah. Okay. Okay. And you go, what the fuck just happened in my
mouth, right? So it's very hard to do. This is why you're an actor and I am not.
But we took like, you know, it was a long, it was a lot of work and, yeah, yeah. And, and, uh, and
and, uh, and, and, uh, and, uh, and, and, uh, and, and, um, I'm, I'm ready. It's like
my chance to work with, you know, one of my heroes. And the very first take, um, you know,
I did it. And meanwhile, I've done this so many thousands of times. I have, you know, I have, you know,
a number of different ways that I'm thinking maybe doing the scene.
So he goes, cut, print, move on.
And I go, I go, hang on, hang on, hang on.
Boss, you know, I want to, you know, I want to do another one.
I wasn't even in costume.
That was like, that was the first one.
Like, you want to do it.
And he goes, why?
You want to waste everybody's time.
Oh, my God.
And I went, no, I guess we're moving on.
And it was one take.
He was holding a gun.
No, no.
But there was a kindness in it, too.
No, no, I got that.
He wasn't, he was a lovely guy.
And what was really interesting is the second movie I did with him,
there was this, the kind of, it builds to a head with this,
a scene with me and this nine-year-old kid.
And the nine-year-old kid was a non-actor.
And we had done one take for everybody, all through Invictus, Morgan Freeman,
you know, everybody gets one take.
We must have done 40 takes with this little boy because,
because he, we were trying to get this.
It was this kind of huge moment in the film,
and we were trying to get this stuff out of him.
And Clint was right next to me.
You know, like we were right next to the camera together,
just working with this boy.
And so it was like his,
and his whole mentality was you,
your crew will go to the ends of the earth for you
as long as you're not taxing them on every shot.
Right.
Right?
When we need to get in there, we get in there.
But, you know, for the most part,
we can, you know, professional actors
are going to show up with something good.
Yeah.
Keep the momentum.
I had a chat with Clint Eastwood once briefly,
and I told him how much Unforgiven meant to me.
It's an American movie that was a huge hit,
box office hit, and it's a very European film.
And he just sort of asked me, what do you mean?
And I said, because it's everyone's trying to do the right thing
and making it worse, which is very much life.
and that is not a kind of classic American movie formula.
That movie is magical to me, and he hit me.
You want to hear a good unforgiven story
that you can cut out if it's too boring for people,
but I thought it was really interesting.
There was a scene in Invictus.
I think I had to give a speech or something to the guys
in the locker room or something like that.
And we were shooting it the following Tuesday or whatever,
and I said to him, hey, boss, you know, that scene on Tuesday,
do you mind if I tinker with the dialogue?
I've been working on it, but I think I can figure out
kind of a better way to say it.
And he was, yeah, sure, go ahead.
And so I came back, and on Tuesday, we shot the scene
and we did one take, and he printed it and moved on.
But he came up to me.
He said, I thought you were going to change it.
And I said, yeah, it's a funny story.
I go, I wrote it and I rewrote it all weekend.
I wrote it probably 27 drafts,
and then I got it perfect.
And I looked back, and it was exactly the same as marriage
and it was.
And he laughed and he goes, yeah.
He goes, you know, that happened to me once.
And I go, really, goes, I had a script and I loved it.
And I, you know, I had it.
And he goes, I worked for five years on this thing.
And he goes, it wasn't getting better.
And I couldn't figure it out.
And he goes, and then I went back and to the original script that I had.
I pulled it out of the drawer and I read it.
And I called the writer that day and said, I'm making your script exactly as you wrote it.
And I said, no way.
What movie?
And he said, Unforgiven.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
Well, it is, it's all there on the page.
I mean, I've looked at the script.
It's all there on the page.
Yeah.
But it's sometimes we get in that headspace where we go,
I bet I could, you know what would be, you know what I mean?
Yeah, of course, yeah.
But it was a great lesson in kind of returning to what attracted you to it in the first place, right?
Like the elemental aspect, the thing that really pulled you in, like, you know,
is the reason you're doing it.
And so too much tinkering, you can kind of get away from that.
Yes, you can.
Yeah.
It's, uh, this is really stupid, but.
You're saying very well-spoken, intelligent things.
And then I come in with, but for years on the late-night talk show, people would have a good idea and then they'd bring it down to the floor and it would be different from what they told me.
And they would say, yeah, I started thinking about it.
And I would always say, when you overthink, you start distinct.
And actually, that's great.
That's, you know, I know, I have a doctor's sus.
It is a version of the same.
It's not, Matt.
It's not great.
But couldn't I have, I would do it in that in like, I have a really smart.
thing to say, but I intentionally, I think, said it in this stupidest way possible. But then it became
a thing that the writers would chant sometimes. They would chant it. No, I made that out.
Imagine Clint Eastwood's saying that. Yeah. That's actually great. It'd be nice to see.
I think about one of your movies a lot. It's more than one movie. It's a series, but The Born
Identity, because I do a lot of international travel for work. And I'm constantly going through
airports now where you don't even have to show.
Are you thinking of what I'm thinking?
Listen.
Because you're comparing yourself to Jason Bourne.
I get it a lot.
People in airports internationally say you're very Jason Bourne-esque.
And then they see me run and they go, forget what I just said.
And then they put on their glasses and look at my face and go, really forget.
No, what I've noticed is that I'll go through airports now and you don't even have to show your
passport.
It's all your eye scan.
And I think Jason Bourne is fucked now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The big thing with you, with your character, was a major fight, throwdown, shootout in the streets of Paris, and then instantly you're in Cairo, and everyone's looking for you.
He's a ghost.
Yeah.
He's a ghost.
And you've reappeared in Cairo, and I'm thinking now it's just, you know, your iris.
Yeah.
It was kind of a couple years ago that that started, where I came back from somewhere.
And I had the global entry, you know, and that was already pretty easy.
You go to the kiosk and you put your pass.
passport in and it reads it and takes a picture and goes, yeah, that's you. Now it's like,
you don't even need to pull your passport out. It's, um, it is. And so yeah, he would be totally
screwed. Like the whole point was he had, you know, six passports and they all had different
identities and he could speak all those languages and he could just become one of those guys. Now his safety
deposit box has six eyes. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Eyeballs you put on, contact lenses. No, I was, uh,
and also, I remember it, I was talking to, I think we were interviewing Emily Blunt once and she was
talking to us about a movie you guys made together where she had to run in one scene.
And you said, it was her first scene where she had to run and that you called, you very kindly
said, Emily, let me take a look. Look at yourself running and here's how you want to, because
you think you're running well. But there's a way, when you think you're running well on camera,
but then you look back at it, it can be tragically wrong.
Do you know who told me that? No.
Was Franca Patente, who was my co-star, who was my co-star in.
Born had starred in this great German movie called Run Lola Run.
And she runs in that movie through the whole movie.
She's Lola.
And she's so badass for the whole movie.
She's in these Doc Martins.
And it's just an awesome movie.
And we were on set of Born and I had to do a running scene.
And she said, Thomas, the guy who directed Run Lola Run, they had been a couple for a while.
And she said, Thomas told me before I started doing it to go out.
And he videotaped me running, and we looked at it because she said, you don't, you know, the only running that we see, you know, is, you know, we see Usain Bolt.
We see, you know, the people who can really run.
And we go, that's, I must look like that.
Yeah.
When you start to run, you're, like, you just look ridiculous.
Yes, yes.
And I thought I ran great.
And then I looked and I was like, oh, my God.
It's Jerry Lewis.
It really is.
like every like the balance everything and so you start to practice like you know high knees and but
you know and keep the arms in the opposite yeah and it really uh and so i said i did say that to emily
i'm sure because it because it really no she said you saved her it was great then did she uh she
but it's one of those things that um you know i just all of us in our mind if i'm running hard
which i don't do much anymore but if for some reason i had to run quickly in my mind i'm i'm i'm i'm
I'm Matt Damon or I'm Tom Cruise, but I know I really am, you know, one of the big balloons that
they have in front of a used car lot that's flopping around.
And I shriek, too, as I run, which isn't helping.
Cruz figured it out early.
I remember there's that great scene in Born on the Fourth of July where he runs through
the rain, back, you know, before he goes off to war.
And, like, he must have figured it out in, like, the 80s.
He was ahead of everybody.
Yeah, yeah.
He probably has a, yeah, scientific formula, aerodynamic float chop.
He runs perfectly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I wanted to talk to you because about this current movie at The Rip, which is fascinating
to me.
First of all, I knew nothing about the movie when I watched it.
I watched it last night.
And one of the things that I didn't realize is that, oh, you're in this with I knew nothing,
which is not the way you usually experience a movie these days, but someone arranged, oh,
Conan can watch the movie.
if you log into this, you can watch it.
So I knew absolutely nothing.
I knew you were in it and that's it.
And it's a movie that you have made with Ben.
You and Ben are in it together.
And that was a surprise to me.
And I thought, this is interesting.
This is such a loaded situation for you guys now
because in a very nice way, in a complimentary way,
it's this dynamic duo getting back together.
But I don't know if you feel the weight of that at all
when you guys worked together.
We did the movie air together a few years ago
that Ben directed and he's also,
And we're both in it together.
You know, and we started this little studio together a few years ago.
And one of the reasons that we started it, like I was watching that Beatles documentary,
the Peter Jackson one.
Get back.
At the end of that documentary, there's this incredible scene when they play on the roof, right,
together.
And it's just, it's pure joy.
You see them, you know, the cops show up and McCartney turns around.
He's like, what the fuck?
You know, and it's like the most joyful thing.
They're all in their 20s.
And then Peter Jackson put this Chiron up and it said,
this is the last time the Beatles played live together.
Yeah, yeah.
And I was watching it.
My youngest was, I think, 11 at the time.
And she just goes, Dad, why are you crying?
And tears were just pouring down my fate because it was like, what,
it made me so sad that these guys who were just, you know, this was it.
That they didn't, they couldn't get past whatever it was that wouldn't allow them to kind of keep
doing it together. And, and I called Ben and I was like, man, because I think, you know,
this was our dream and our lives from the time we were teenagers and, and it was something we did
together. And we wanted to do movies together. And we, we wrote Goodwill Hunting together and,
and, and, and, and, and, and I think after that, I think we, we were like, oh, well, we should
try to, you know, make names for ourselves individually. Right. So I think we were a little
allergic to working together for a while. I mean, we were still very connected and, you know,
saw each other all the time. But after a success of that magnitude, you don't want to get locked
in as, great, we'll do the movie. Is Ben in or okay, Ben, but where's Matt? You don't want to get
locked into that. Exactly. And we had done, you know, Kevin Smith's movie, Dogma together right
after that. So we were kind of like, all right, we should chill. And then suddenly, a couple decades
went by. And it was like, now we're in our 50s. We're starting this company. And it's kind of like,
I don't care.
It doesn't have to be a thing.
It doesn't have to be a stop the presses.
It's like we just like working together.
Yeah.
And also what's evident in the movie
is you guys have a connection.
When you have scenes together,
there's a connection that you can't manufacture.
It's very clear that you two really love,
I don't know, you're on the same wavelength.
You're on the same, you're clicked in
and your two characters in this movie.
There's a lot of times.
tension between you. There are times where you just want to kill each other. And then as you go on,
many things are revealed and you understand what their true dynamic is. But I don't know, it's just,
it was something you can't, you couldn't have figured that out with an acting coach if you didn't
know each other. I don't think. It helps to have that kind of, you know, we also did, by the way,
the last duel, another movie that you wrote with, you know, so we were trying, you know, we're,
but yeah, no, I think that that connection definitely, uh, uh, obviously kind of loads every scene in a
different way. I think there's the thing that happens. I know in my 20s, 30s, 40, I was very intense
all the time thinking about every move. And as I've gotten older, I am much more interested
in being with people that I really like, that I love, making things with them and enjoying
myself. And it comes a little bit from a place of, oh, who cares? You know, I mean, I just want to do
this. I don't want to overthink it. I just want to be with... I think you see that you start to see
the, you know, you're in the second half, right? And you go... I plan to lift to 150. I hope you know.
I hope we both do. So we're still in... I really don't want to leave to 150. Well, if you could
stay healthy, I don't know. Might be, might be great. I'll be in constant pain. But, um, but yeah, that's
literally the, you know, the whole point of this company is to, you know, work with great people that we
really want to be with. And, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know,
You know, and every movie that we make through our studio is, you know, even if Ben and I aren't in it or he's directing and I'm not in it or he, you know, we're connected around the work when trying to facilitate whoever's coming in and kind of.
Do you guys give each other shit on set or in a professional environment, do you give each other a, teasing, like brotherly kind of relationship?
Sure, sometimes.
You want another take? Because you might want another take, you know, that kind of thing.
That's what I would do.
I would. That's what I would do.
Yeah, I think you're going to want another take.
But look, the good thing is, you know, I think it really helped with our writing, you know, 30 years ago.
Jesus, 35 years ago when we started, you know, Ben said this great thing, which was,
judge me for how good my good ideas are, not how bad my bad ideas are.
And it's a very profound thing for a 20-year-old to say because he wanted the, you know,
he recognized that we needed the freedom to kind of bar.
out all those ideas.
And so often, as you know, when you're writing,
you write down the bad idea because it's iterating, right?
That it's like, that can build into a good idea.
Yeah, right?
And so he was basically giving both of us the permission
to just keep the window as wide open as we could.
Yeah.
And, yeah, I mean, that, I forget why I started that story, but...
Well, it doesn't have enough coffee.
This coffee is terrific, by the way.
want more, we can get you some. They say whenever someone writes their big, great American novel,
and it's a big smash and everyone thinks it's genius, they have nine other ones in their drawer
that they wrote before that. And I'm a big believer in, you just have to do time. To me,
the process doesn't change. Like, you could look at your career or bends and say, like, oh,
you've clicked off, you guys have clicked off every single box that you would want to check,
but still when you show up,
there's work to be done
and you have to be a little scared
and there are scenes where you think
I didn't get this,
I got to try it again,
and time in the edit room
and all of that stuff.
If they're paying you, it's work.
Yeah, and we want to love everything
we work on from now on, you know,
it's kind of going back to your point.
And yeah, it's a hugely labor-intensive thing to do
no matter what, you know?
I mean, it's, if you sign up for it,
that that means that you're you're willing to, you know, you can't phone it in.
Right.
Nor would I want to, you know, take a job for money that I was phoning.
Like, I never did that.
I never.
I always thought whatever I was working on had a chance to be great.
Yeah.
I was wrong most of the time.
But I was working with the intention of it being something really wonderful for people to see.
But also, people don't, the nice thing I have found, this very smart, Simpsons writer,
George Meyer, told me this a long time.
early in my career when things were not going well,
he said, people will remember you for your good work.
Right. And he's absolutely right. I think about that all the time.
He said, you're just laying tile individually,
and it's going to make a bigger mosaic, which is what you did with your life.
And he was right that the work you made later on that didn't quite click with people,
what they do is they seek out all these things you've made that are great,
and then they almost rule the other ones out.
other one's out. So in your mind, you're saying, oh, man, so many times I've been wrong, and that's not
what anyone else would say. That's just what you would say. Yeah, exactly. It just made me think of
someone like Shohei Otani, where they go, like, whatever his career batting average ends up being,
if it's 350 or whatever, 320, people aren't going to say, well, you know, he missed 680.
Yeah, exactly. They're going to go. I mean, like, I did go to the game and shout that at him
for the day. Because even when the Red Sox are out of it, I still go to.
games and wear a Red Sox hat.
Good for you, by the way. I do the same thing. I do do the same thing. I did have an experience
once where Lauren Michael, sorry, I had an experience. I do that when I think my story is really good.
No, Lauren Michaels years ago, this is a very name-droppy story, but he, it was that iconic,
it's 2004. And the Red Sox were playing the Yankees and the Red Sox are way down. And Lauren invited me to a
Yankee game. And he said, we're going to pick up a friend on the way, and he didn't tell me who.
And I'm sitting in the front of an SUV because he wanted me to make room for the friend.
And we pull up and leaning against a street lamp is Jack Nicholson. And I'm, to this day, if I ran
to Jack Nelson, I can't be cool about it, but I just was like, just chill. And he, Jack,
you know, Conan. And I'm up in front in that awkward. And I lean through that. There's a little
slit of head rest. And I'm like, hi, Jack. You know. Hey, Conno. And he, Conner.
in and then we go off to the game. And what I remember is sitting with him and Lauren at this game.
And Lauren had told me beforehand, don't wear a Red Sox cap because Lauren had these amazing seats.
And he pretty much put all this pressure on me. So I went and I got a hat that had like the Swiss
flat. No, it's just like a black cap. I had to get a neutral cap because I thought it's Lauren's seats.
Jack's a big Yankee fan. If I'm wearing a Red Sox cap next to them, this is rude. It was this very
hard thing to do. So I just wore a neutral cap. What happened to you, man?
I know. I know. I know.
I know, I know.
It's Jack Nicholson and I buckled.
So, but I remembered him, Pedro Martinez was pitching.
And it's a game that the Red Sox lost just before they had this amazing comeback and ended up winning the World Series and breaking the curse.
And Jack Nicholson was taunting Pedro Martinez.
And he was shouting at him because it was getting a little later in the game.
And he went, arms getting heavy, Pedro.
Arms getting heavy.
And I'm like, fuck, that's good.
Oh, God.
That is so good.
What a dick.
It's Jack Nicholson.
I know.
It's baseball.
Yeah, it's baseball.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then I got a nice moment with him when we got home and got out of the car.
He got out.
And I got out, too, to just say I was really nice hanging with you, Jack, tonight.
And he went, I guess his son was a big fan of the show.
I didn't think Jack knew nothing about what I was doing.
But he went, he was like, son's crazy about you.
Conan. He said, nice to meet you, Jane. He's nice to meet you, Conan. Son's crazy about you.
It's Conan this, Conan that. Driving me fucking crazy. That's great. I was so happy.
I like got back in the car and I sat back with Lorne. I didn't get in the front seat this time.
I'm like, I'm back here where Jack Nicholson's at. He'll forget you tomorrow.
But it is, you know, I love to time travel.
I love to go back to the guy in the crappy used car that I bought for literally a couple hundred bucks at the airport from a rent-a-wreck and put on counter-make-up and then think about the things I get to do now or the things I've been able to do or have the good fortune to do.
And I just love time traveling back and forth to visit that guy and go, isn't this crazy?
I mean, if you showed up to the you who's a teenager and really into acting and said, this is what's going to happen.
Yeah, what a delight.
Well, and also to have kind of feel like you won the lottery,
but your best friend won it too, you know what I mean?
So for like, we've talked about that, Ben and I, you know,
and also just the fact that it's, it didn't seem weird to us in the 1980s
that we were 14 and 16 years old and 15 and 16 and going to New York by ourselves.
Right.
You know, to audition for things.
Yeah.
Until we had kids, I think, that were that age.
And we were like, can I fucking believe that we would just go.
Would you just let this kid go to San Francisco for the day by themselves?
Right.
You know, but it seemed totally normal to us.
You know, we didn't have families that were in the business.
You know, Boston.
There's nobody in the entertainment business up there.
I'm telling you, I think your parents were not in the business.
My parent, my dad was a, you know, microbiologist.
Right.
And my mom's a, you know, estate lawyer.
And I never saw anything.
There was a local show called Zoom.
Yeah, of course.
And Zoom had kid actors in it.
And it was made in Boston.
And at the end, it'd say, you know,
made at the studio in Boston.
And I just couldn't believe someone was making something
for television that was in Boston.
And so those Zoom kids were like the Beatles to me.
I just couldn't believe.
But I didn't see anybody.
I just didn't see anyone.
And then Robert Eurek made Spencer for hire,
which took place in Boston.
That was a big deal.
That was a huge deal.
Yeah, we used to watch it every week.
Just, you know, it was, you know,
and then sometimes you'd go and you see trucks
and you were like, oh, my God, I think they're shooting here.
Yeah.
That's for hire.
Well, I remember they shot an episode and they used my high school.
This is long after I've left high school.
I'm a writer at Saturday Night Live at this point,
and I'm in my early 20s,
and I'm at Saturday Night Live in this episode.
And we were just hanging around the office's flipping channels at night.
And there was Spencer for hire.
And they shot it at my high school.
And I became that dick who sat there.
I was like, well, that's my high school.
And then Robert Eurich's running through the hallways and you went,
you can't get from the science way into the gym using the A-level stairs.
What are they thinking.
What an idiot.
But, you know, a huge...
And I believe your mom was...
Was she into child psychology?
She was a professor of early childhood education, yeah.
My wife's mother, who passed recently, lovely woman, Pam,
she had done a lot of work, I think, learning about kids and development, and also as a therapist.
And so when I would talk to her, sometimes I'd be reminded, oh, no, I'm just telling her the problems with my day.
And then I realized that she has this incredible intelligence and knowledge that she would apply to it.
And I realized, oh, she's psychoanalyzed.
Did you have that from your mom?
No, I think in the sense that she understood the stages of development, of child development,
and gave my brother and me kind of everything we needed for our brains to develop the way they were supposed to develop.
Oh, that's good.
In the sense that, you know, I mean, back then, her big bugaboo was like screens was television.
Yeah, yeah.
How much TV do you watch?
What are you watching?
Now it's just completely just jumped a shark with screens and, you know, the ubiquity of them
and what that means for kids and brain development and stuff like that.
And we're basically, you know, this is, you know, a species-wide experiment at this point.
Exactly, yeah.
Because there are these natural things that have to happen for, you know, and it's like open-ended play
and things like that for kids that really just help them figure out all the strategies to kind of
figure out the world.
And boredom.
Right.
You need boredom.
Boredom was great.
I mean, remember how bored you'd be as a kid?
And then you'd figure something out.
You know, you'd figure out a way to entertain yourself
or you'd go make something up or you'd, you know.
No, I always say to my wife early on,
we got to leave plenty of room for them to be bored.
And she said, don't you worry.
Just tell more of your, when I was a kid's stories.
Tell your Nicholson story again.
Kids, kids, he's a big deal.
But no, I mean, you're exactly right.
It's exactly right.
You have to leave room for all of that.
And then I do worry about it.
I think it's a scary thing.
Yeah, me too.
Me too.
When I walked through airports,
and I just thought of this when I was in Hong Kong,
just recently, everyone was on their screen.
And sometimes people would just click.
I mean, and they're not even kids anymore.
It's everybody.
And you just feel like...
I see it with myself, like how quickly I'll allow my attention
to kind of get colonized by these devices,
this device where I'll just sit there and
disappear down a rabbit hole and watch a bunch of, and then an hour goes by and you go,
well, wait a minute, like that.
Like Chris Nolan's very famously doesn't have a smartphone.
And I think he said kind of publicly, it's just he, he wants to preserve that time that
the exact time we're talking about where he can think about things more deeply.
Let your mind wander.
Let your mind wander rather than just instantly give it the, you know, the dopamine hit of,
of, you know, candy crush or something.
You know what I mean?
Like, you know, that's what you're doing for.
No, no.
No, I play backgammon on my phone, though.
I'm like, oh, I've got a quick game of backgammy.
It's like, how am I doing it?
You know?
They should do, you should do one more born movie
where you're just, where you're just on your phone.
Jason's on his phone the whole time alone.
And they cut back to the CIA and everyone's just on their phone.
And the bad guys, too.
They're not looking for him, really?
They're not looking for you.
You're not running from them.
Nothing's getting done.
Blip, boop, boop, bloop.
And the tech overlords are making trillions of dollars.
That's the movie.
Yeah.
You know, I really enjoyed the rip.
I want to make sure I get it out there that Stephen Yun's in this.
You have a great cast.
It's a great cast.
Tiana Taylor, Stephen Young.
I mean, it's Kyle Chandler's in it.
There's just a wonderful group of actors.
There was one moment where when I was watching it, and I think I heard him before I saw him,
but I heard Kyle Chandler's voice and he said something a little like, you know,
Now, what are we doing here?
And I just heard the coach, you know.
And I'm like, it's coach, you know.
But again, he plays someone completely different.
Yeah, yeah.
Because you're all really good actors.
Stephen Young, I've done, he's a friend, and we've done a lot of stuff together.
And I just a nominal actor.
I just adore him.
So do I.
And he actually just, he went from doing that to Ben directed another movie that's going to come out next year that Steven's in, he's in that.
He's in that as well.
He's just, we love him.
Also, I want to point out the story.
story here is a really interesting one because,
and I'm not going to give anything away,
but the rip refers to money that I guess has been seized
in illegal activity.
And you guys, there's so much great lingo in this movie.
Yeah, it's all real cop lingo.
It's all based on, you know, Joe Carnahan wrote it and directed it.
And it's based on the experiences of,
loosely based on the experience of this kind of unit down in Miami.
Yeah.
You know, they go to, you know, they have units that go looking for drugs,
and then they have units that go looking for money, for drug money, basically.
And dogs, literally, that sniff for drugs and dogs that sniff for cash.
That I didn't know.
Yeah, I didn't either.
You get to this one house and the dog is sniffing and you know that there's cash inside.
And I thought, I've never heard of that.
A dog that knows there's cash in there.
You know, they'll soon have one that can detect Bitcoin, you know.
Right, right.
Right.
That server
But it was
It spoke a little bit
It just knows server
Wait
The dog speaks
And it's looking for Bitcoin
We're skipping past the fact that the dog speaks
I think it's more impressive
That it can smell
You know various
various chips
Matt's writing now
Don't do this podcast again
No, no, no, I'm just on the thought experiment.
Both maps are right on that.
I always like it that the least impressive thing an animal does is speak.
And it's more like, how did he know which door to go in?
Go on the right one.
Wow, he seems to know which door to go in.
He did speak.
But one of the things the film does is you have to try and figure out who's playing what angle
and, you know, who's right, who isn't right, who's a good person, who's a bad person.
And I was calling it.
I was being that wise ass.
It's like, all right, this is.
and I got it wrong.
Yeah, you don't know who's who really.
And it's these guys, they hit this house.
They think there's going to be, you know,
75,000 or $150,000 in the house.
And suddenly they find $20 million in the wall.
And they know that that means it's cartel money,
which means that they're probably going to come try to get it.
They know, you know, so it suddenly becomes this kind of,
they're stuck in this house because they have to count the money on site,
which is a rule because they're to kind of.
I didn't know that either.
Yeah.
Before they can bring it in.
At least in Miami, that's the.
You have to count it all.
the site because it's too easy for someone,
if it's a amount of money like that,
someone could take $600,000 and put it in their pocket.
And that's just what the count was.
So you have to count it there.
You have to count it together and make sure
that everybody agrees what the count is.
And then you go and you deposit, you know,
you drop it off and they count it.
And it's got to match the number that you report and all of that.
So that's, but meanwhile, you have these cops who are,
you know, their captain has just been killed, you know,
before at the start of the movie.
And so you're kind of going,
something's going on with these guys.
Is there corruption within this unit?
Are these people corrupt?
Yeah, are they corrupt?
Are these supposed heroes of the movie corrupt?
Are the heroes?
Yeah, can we trust the heroes of the movie?
And you don't know, and that's kind of the fun of the movie.
And I do love the jargon.
And afterwards, I was walking around the house, say, someone jacked my rip.
And Liza was like, shut up.
I enjoyed it, too, but shut up.
Well, I really enjoyed it.
And I think I've interviewed you a number of times over the years,
but I love it when you stop by and check in
because I'm a huge fan of you and your career
and your work and you're a very nice, thoughtful, funny guy,
so I love to hang with you.
I'll come back next time.
I'm not sure we have a space.
Yeah, exactly.
Look, I'm sorry.
Hey, okay, thanks.
Well, yeah, okay.
Do you realize?
I haven't heard that in a while.
Matt, this was an audition to get on the podcast.
Did you know that?
Yeah, I'm out of practice.
Yeah, we'll let you know.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
You do have my contact information, right?
That's how big this podcast has become.
Matt has to come in on audition.
But, yeah, thank you so much for doing this.
Yeah, appreciate it.
Yeah, appreciate it, guys.
Thank you.
I was sitting around the other day, and my buddy Matt Myra texted me a picture that you might be interested in.
If we could throw it up on that, sure.
Oh, my God.
What is that?
This is a sign that's posted outside one of you.
your former residences, the Cochrane Avenue apartment. Did you know about this? I didn't.
Where is this? It's in L.A., right? Oh, L.A.? Do you remember this apartment? Of course I do.
This was a formative part of my life. When I was first getting started in L.A., Greg Daniels and I,
our first place, he was my writing partner. He has gone on to many great things. He and I share an
apartment in Brentwood first. Then we realized we need to move out of the west side.
and be with the young people because both of us were just desperate to meet anyone our age
and have social lives. So we both moved into Hollywood and I found an apartment, a friend of
mine, Cynthia Stevenson, actress, a very talented, incredible woman. She said, hey,
Conan, I'm leaving my apartment. Do you want to take it over? And it was on Cochran Avenue.
So I moved into, it was a first floor apartment. This would have been 1986, I think, I think.
I live there, 86, 87, 88.
I didn't go out and shop for any furniture.
The only thing...
It says that in the sign.
Oh, it does?
And for the listener, they can see this on at Team Coco podcast on Instagram, as well as
our YouTube channel.
And here's what the sign says.
Conan O'Brien, former Cochran Avenue resident.
There's a picture of you as kind of like a bronze bust.
Yeah.
Conan Christopher O'Brien is an Emmy-winning writer, comedian, and host who redefined
late-night television.
From Saturday Live to The Simpsons to his own groundbreaking shows, he has brought laughter
to millions.
Wow.
I'd like to fact check on that.
Hundreds.
Hundreds.
In 2025, he added another milestone hosting the Academy Awards.
In the 1980s, Conan lived right here on Cochran Avenue, finishing his apartment with
street fines and surviving on ramen noodles and tuna mixed with miracle whip.
Yes.
Oh, God.
It was a time of struggle on ingenuity and questionable mayonnaise-based decisions.
From these humble beginnings, this street witnessed the rise of a comedy icon.
Wow.
May this moment, parentheses, a poster affixed with zip ties,
inspire Cochran Avenue residents to chase their dreams,
enhance their originality,
and one day upgrade to a home with more than one bathroom.
So this is temporary.
I didn't realize this.
It's phone core poster board.
Oh, we have to.
I mean, my God, we've got to.
Wow, look at this.
Dedicated February 27, 2025 by the Cochran Committee of Conan Connoisseurs.
Actually, just one guy who lives on Cochran Avenue,
occasionally listens to Conan's podcast,
had some free time
and no real authority
to put up a monument
but did it anyway.
Who is this guy?
Or gal.
Okay.
It says actually just one guy.
Oh, sorry.
I was trying to accuse you
being sexist.
I know.
And actually,
you're just guilty of paying attention.
It could be a...
No.
Oh.
Well, first of all,
I want to thank this guy
because that's really funny.
And old me,
I always think of ghost me
the 160 pound Conan who lived at Cochran Avenue
and furnished his apartment with all stuff I found on Cochran Avenue.
Oh, God.
It's just flea ridden?
I mean, it's just like tables.
People used to just put furniture out.
I've done that.
Yeah, lamps, everything.
And one of my friends gave me a cutout of the Miss America winner
that he had a life-size cutout of her,
you know, in a gown holding, you know, with her sash.
And your friend gave it to you. You bought it and it was your girlfriend.
Yes and yes. No, shout out to Randy Klimpert, who gave it to me. And I had it in my apartment along with furniture I found. And I thought everything was just fine and lived off of that diet of ramen noodles.
Tuna mixed with Miracle in? Wait, did you come up with this? No, I, I know. I think it was something that happened back at Kurnart. I think the crime started in Brooklyn, Massachusetts.
and then I brought it with me.
That's listed with shellfish in the Bible as an abomination.
Yes, yes.
And so am I, by the way.
And so, yeah, I lived on Cochran and now someone,
this is the part of this culture that I find endlessly fun,
is someone made that and then put all these self-deprecating disclaimers at the bottom.
And it's really fun.
I just love that.
And I love that someone is memorializing my life on Cochran Avenue.
Back in the day, yeah, I would say 86 to 88.
And then I left that apartment to go to, I believe, Saturday Night Live.
Did Miss America come with you?
She did.
And I was married to her for a while.
I was married to her cardboard cutout for five years.
And then she left me.
Yeah, she said emotional cruelty.
You left her out in the rain.
Yeah, yeah, I was crying.
She was with Bezos for a while.
Anyway, yeah, he built a yacht for a made of cardboard.
They sailed the seven Cs until the boat fell apart.
Recycled into some Amazon packaging.
Yeah, she's now a packing tube.
Anyway.
That's really cute that a fan did that for you.
What's us?
That's really cool and cute that a fan did that for you.
A shout out to that fan.
That was a very fun, cool happening to create.
Yeah, whatever gender he is.
I love that.
You know what?
Occasionally I pass that.
apartment not too long ago I passed that apartment because when I'm driving from my house to our
studio I get off the 10 and it depends on what exit I take and I start cutting north to our
Hollywood Larchmont you know recording studio and uh sometimes I'll find myself on Cochran
and I always pause and just look at that apartment and go oh yeah that kid's that kid did okay
And then a policeman always says, move it along.
Nothing to see here.
He's in 1920s.
He's got that little bat.
He's got the night stick.
Yeah, the night stick.
Baton.
All right, move it along.
Move it along there.
No more visiting ghost Jew of 1986.
Move it.
He always knows exactly what I'm doing.
That's just a trick of the mind.
Moving along.
No more ghost you.
Those days are past.
There's only now.
There's no future.
There's no past.
I'm like, wow.
He's done a lot of work.
Oh, no.
It's a Buddhist mantra.
He's the ghost.
All right. Well, anyway, thank you, random fan who occasionally listens. Whoever you are, that was a cool thing to do.
Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian and Matt Goorley. Produced by me, Matt Goreley.
Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Jeff Ross, and Nick Leow. Theme song by The White Stripes.
Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.
Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.
Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns.
Additional production support by Mars Melnik.
Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brick Con.
You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode.
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Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message.
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