Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Michelle Obama Returns

Episode Date: September 30, 2020

Former First Lady Michelle Obama feels very, very hopeful about being Conan O’Brien’s friend. Michelle sits down with Conan to discuss her new show The Michelle Obama Podcast, the importance of humility in politics, and changing the voting culture with WhenWeAllVote.org. Check out Conan's conversation with Michelle on her podcast here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2n57zGznX7ZXlkGC0I521o

Hi, my name is Michelle Obama, and I am feeling very, very hopeful about being Conan O'Brien's friend. Fall is here, hear the yell, back to school, ring the bell, brand new shoes, walk in the halls, climb the fence, books and pills. I can tell that we are gonna be friends. I can tell that we are gonna be friends. Hey there, and welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. A bit of an unusual occurrence today. These podcasts usually drop, I think as the kids say, on Monday. We're putting this special episode out today, Wednesday, and it is correct that we make exceptions for this episode because

our guest is the former first lady, Michelle Obama. Yes, back again. Yeah, back again now, that's true. This is the first repeat guest in the almost two and a half years that we've been doing this. And I have to tell you that's a no-brainer when Michelle Obama says that she's willing to come back and she didn't just say she's willing, she desperately pleaded. I don't think that's true. She wrote letters, which no one does anymore. I have so many letters from Michelle Obama.

I didn't see any letters. Please, please. They're just piling up. No, when it became a possibility that she would come on the program and that we would have a conversation and good God is there a lot to talk about with Michelle Obama right now, one of the things I enjoyed observing from my perspective was how much everyone's behavior changed because I hate to break it to you, listening audience, but we're not the most professional organization. I wouldn't say, I wouldn't say, and I say this with a lot of affection. I think we have a lot of terrific people with great capabilities

working here on the podcast, but there's a slacker element to this whole enterprise. You think that's fair, Sonia? Yes, I think it trickles down. Yeah, led from the top. Yeah, the fish rods from the head. Okay. Well, I've, unlike some people in the room with me right now, I don't consider marijuana gummies one of the four food groups. Oh, wow. Wow. Michelle Obama episode. That's where we're going.

You're always like, most people say, well, I've got to get some iron in my diet. You're the only one who I know who says, I need to get high office gummy worm right now. Yeah, you know, if you work for you, you want to numb it. Gourly, Gourly, how do you numb the pain of working with Conan O'Brien? We know that Sonia's preferred wrote, what are you, you must be doing heroin at this point. Oh no, I go into the closet under the clothes, the fetal position and just weep. Well, I'm going to say of the two methods, I prefer Sonia's. Oh, thank you very much.

Sonia's method comes in raspberry lime, you know, all kinds of flavors. It could come in any form. Yeah, yours, it's just always the same coats with that mothball smell. Security blanket. You know, it's so sweet and sweet to watch everybody snap to attention. And I mean everybody. Sonia, I thought you rose to the occasion. You were quite professional. I put on makeup and a blazer. And I think that it's it just goes to show how much we all adore Michelle Obama, the former.

No, when I saw you wearing a blazer, I thought someone close to you had died. Oh, I did. I wasn't sure. Or that you just got a job at Exxon. I was as one of the corporate leaders in Exxon. Everybody was very professional. And then I was noticing there's like a countdown to when Michelle Obama is going to get on the zoom call and do the interview with me. And I just saw everybody in the room. We were taping this at Largo, not here at Ear Wolf. We were taping it at Largo because she was also doing an appearance on the show.

And I just noticed cameramen suddenly standing straight. Everybody got very serious and sober and very adult. I put on shoes and you can't even see my feet. Right. No, and at one point during the interview, listen for this, unless you edit it out, Matt. Matt held up his shoes and said, look, Mrs. Obama, I have shoes. And it was this totally weird moment in the interview. And I tied them myself. Yeah.

I'm a big boy. Yeah. And Mrs. Obama seemed puzzled because she was in the middle of saying something really important about voting. And you cut her off. And it was about in Pennsylvania and how there's this specific thing you have to remember. And Gourley goes like, Mrs. Obama, Mrs. Obama. And she goes, excuse me, because she seemed confused. She didn't know who was talking.

And Gourley held up a shoe on each hand and went, I have shoes. And she was stunned. And I think some of her people leaned in. So you probably edited that out, right, Gourley? Yeah. Good. Yeah. There was a couple of things we had to edit out of this, which I'll be honest with you.

I was doing a great job. I think you're going to like the interview. Okay. No, it's true. Well, I was doing a great job. Well, I really was. Who complimented herself? But at one point, she was giving, making this very beautiful, beautiful point about government

and about people's need to serve. And Sona blurted out, I have a dog and his name is Oki, and you held it up to show her your dog. Yeah. She seemed stunned by that because that was weird. You got too excited. I just thought she would want to see Oki because Oki's really cute. Yeah.

But who, who, you know, who cares, you know? I care. And I think she cares. She has bow. You know this? Yeah. At one point, listen to this, I'm talking to her and I hear, roof, and I got excited and I thought, oh my God, that, I just heard a dog who I think was under her desk and I

said, is that bow? And she went, yeah, that's bow. And I thought, I'm such a, I'm such an idiot, I got excited about a celebrity dog. Do you notice that's the only dog you get excited about, that it's a celebrity. You don't care about Sona's, but you like celebrity dogs. I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like Oki all the time. You know why I like my dogs? They're celebrity dogs.

Okay. I'm technically a celebrity. Oh God. I'm technically a celebrity. I looked it up. No. Okay. Yes.

People magazine has a site and it said just barely. Loki and Bosco are not on the same level as a presidential dog. No, it was really funny. There's a moment in the podcast where Mrs. Obama's talking and then you hear, roof, kind of, and I just said, excuse me, what was that? Was that? And she went, oh yeah, that's bow. And I was like, that was actually the bark of bow.

I'm like, what are you doing, you idiot? Yeah. That was cool. I was excited too. I wanted to get excited about the bark of a famous dog. Yep. Dogs don't know they're famous. No.

No, but that was a companion to a president. I think that every time I watch Wizard of Oz is that that dog in that movie has no idea that he's famous. He was just like, I want to eat and then I want to move and then I want to go to sleep. I mean, you don't know if he knows or not. He didn't know. Okay. They're not sent yet.

What if a dog did know and then was like a dick about it? I'm sorry. I'm cursing. Yeah, yeah. It's the Michelle Obama episode. You took it down. You know what? I think about a lot?

Horses. Watch any movie and I get distracted by the horses. What? Any movie. Horses don't know they're on camera. Come on. Michelle Obama. We got the former first lady.

I know. What are you doing? Okay. I'm getting off the top. What are you doing? I'm sorry. Anyway, to get back on the topic, you can edit all this out if you want, Coralie. This started with professionalism and then it's you talking about horse.

I know. I talked about what I said is everyone else was professional on this podcast. I am still not. Yes, Coralie. Matt's holding up shoes. Everyone else was professional. I am not because I'm supposed to be setting up this really terrific discussion with Michelle Obama and I'm suddenly talking about how watch horses in movies because they don't

know they're on camera. See? The slacking starts at the top. This is trickle down slack economics. It's true. You're talking about me taking edibles. You're saying something a high person would say. I know and I'm not high.

That's what's crazy. Yes. I just had some coffee. I swear to God, just before we get into this amazing interview, well, I think it's amazing. Please, look at any Western, any iconic Western. You're doubling down. The horses don't know that they're on camera and they're looking around. Of course they don't.

I know, but it's so great because people are saying iconic lines from these movies and these horses are just like, oh, what? Michelle Obama. All right. Well, I'm sure. Oh, my God. Plenty of people out there who are listening to this, who are tuning in to hear what Michelle Obama has to say to me about so much, about voting and the upcoming election and the choices

we're about to make, also care that horses in movies don't know they're on camera. And it's just, I don't see why those two are exclusive, but all right. It's a total waste of time and I'm sorry and there wasn't time for that and I was going to do a serious, respectable, somber intro and then I got diverted into how dogs and horses on movies don't know that they're on camera. And I'm saying it for the 15th time and I can't help myself and it's my own fault. Oh, my God. This is why the 15 second jump forward button on podcast was invented.

Yes. Horses don't know they're on camera. Here we go. Oh, my God. No, we do have a very special episode today. My guest, of course, a former first lady bestselling author and currently co-chair of when we all vote a nonprofit organization whose mission is to increase voter participation and change the culture around voting.

She also has a delightful new podcast that I was fortunate enough to be a guest on the Michelle Obama podcast. It's now available wherever you get your podcasts and I am truly honored. She is with us today and we're going to be talking about stuff that we both very much care passionately about. So Michelle Obama, welcome. I want to remind you that the last time you were on the podcast, you said you were cautiously optimistic.

And I think that means that I have made some headway in that time. There's been movement and progress. There has been. So what you're saying, and this is maybe I'm over-interpreting this, is that because there's been progress in me going from sort of someone you might cross the street to avoid to someone you're hopeful about, I think that means America might be moving in the right direction now. That's all that it means, you know? We are moving forward as a country because my friendship with Conan O'Brien is just continuing

to grow and flourish. See? And if that can happen, anything can happen. We have so much to talk about. First of all, there's been a big development, so much going on in the world, but a big development in your life, you launched your podcast. I actually spoke to you, I was interviewed on your podcast, I was very honored to be part of it, but when I spoke to you, you had not launched it.

You have launched your podcast now and it is a huge success and I've got to ask you, how do you like it? I enjoy it. Well, we talked about when we did our interview, you were kind of, you know, we kind of mentioned that turning on a mic and talking and being able to talk freely and openly, it's the kind of joy of tapping into feelings and having conversations that we couldn't do when I was First Lady and really the podcast is building off of the conversations that were started through the book and on the book tour and of course you were a part of those conversations.

So they aren't new, but it felt like letting people into my kitchen, being a part of some of the intimate discussions that I have with my friends and family and people I trust and people like you, Conan, who are open and have done the work, I know your team is laughing at that right now, but the truth is that you have thought about a lot of things in life. You're not just a comedian and I'm not blowing smoke, but you are a thoughtful individual with insight and a willingness to share that with others to help get them to a better place. And that's really what we were trying to do in the season of the podcast. So it was fun.

It's very easy if you reach a certain status and I'm not going to include myself. But I'm talking about you and your husband where people can think, well, they're just at this different level. And when you talk about losing your temper at your husband when you're driving around in a crappy car and throwing the wedding ring at him or something, you know, when you talk about those things and people go, what? You can't do that. That's Barack Obama.

What do you mean you lost your temper at Barack Obama and you say, no, no, he's a human being. He's my husband and he really pissed me off. And so I threw something at him, you know. It happens. Yes, it happens. He just has, as I said, protection. When my wife loses it at me, there aren't six guys that jump in the way. Barack still says though that his secret service agents are more scared of me than they are

protecting him. I bet you that's true. I bet you that's true. You know, one of the things that I remembered you asking me before your podcast launched, what I liked about it, and I told you the part you're going to like maybe the most, maybe not the most because I know how much you love having these conversations and you are a natural. But what I know you love because I love it is when you've spent, I've spent 27 years having makeup put on me, clothes put on me, and I, during your time at the White House

and at different events, many times I saw you at events and you had to get all glammed up. Oh my God. Not the case with a podcast. That is a big win on the podcast. You can sit in your underwear with no makeup on. That's exactly what I'm doing right now. Yeah.

All the vision, it's singed into my brain. Oh my God. No, no, it's that, it's that one piece underwear from the 1920s that buttons up the front. Yeah. It's, it's the old gold miners you used to wear. Yeah. No skin is ever showing. But I think that that's also part of what helps make the conversations feel more real

because you are usually somewhere comfortable. I like right now my shoes are off. I am sitting in a chair that makes me feel good. And that I think makes you more open to just sort of letting loose, you forget that other people are listening. So it really allows you to tap in to yourself and to the person that you're talking to in a way that you can't do in a, you know, a big arena or, you know, on, on a, on a television show.

So it's, it's far more intimate. And I love that about it as well. You know, it's nice. And I think, especially when you're in your house, I know you're with your family right now and you've told them all, please be quiet because I need to talk to Conan O'Brien, which is, I know a very sacred moment in the Obama family, but I think there's something about being in your own space with your own people and you, you get to this relaxed state. You did something that I thought was really important.

You talked on your podcast about, you admitted to having, uh, experiencing a low grade depression. And I thought it is a mission of mine that people understand. We have a culture of, as I said, those people over there have it better than I do. They don't feel my pain. I don't know. It's very important from to, to know you're helping a lot of people when you say, no, I, Michelle Obama have low grade depression. I'm experiencing it and you opened up about it.

That validates so many people. Yeah. Well, and I always think about, um, how young people are listening to us. They're, they're heroes, they're icons, they're favorites, you know, they're, they're trying to figure out how to shape their own lives and they look to us, the people they see on TV, the people giving speeches, the, the artists that they're listening to. And I was thinking, does them know good, these young people to pretend like we're perfect and that we don't have problems because all it does is to set them us up for a false sense

of perfection that none of us has. And I always think in terms of what a relief it might be for some young girl who wants to be like Michelle Obama to know that I am not perfect. And that I have flaws and that I have failed and that I've had to learn how to get up and try again, um, that, that hopefully gives them, you know, some more room to grow and to become who they are without fear of not getting it all right because none of us do. You know, and, and the current, uh, resident of the White House is someone who I think almost pathologically needs to tell you he's perfect.

He's never made a mistake. We all know that that's not true. And I think that's such an unhealthy sentiment to put out in the world. I don't trust people who say I've never made a mistake. It's not possible when people come from a place of humility, which is, I don't know, remember humility. Yeah, I know. You know, you say that word and I'm like, Oh, humility.

It was a beautiful thing to see long ago. Yeah, it shouldn't be. It shouldn't be like the opening of Star Wars a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. There was something called humility and empathy and humanity and I do think we're getting to a place in my opinion where those are being seen as, you know, never admit to anything. Never say you made a mistake. These are values. None of us.

We don't teach our kids these values. No, we don't. I mean, I'd say that all the time. What do we tell our, uh, you know, we tell our kids don't be a bully to tell the truth, to eat your peas and all of that. But you know, I think it's a, it's a hard standard to try to build a nation off of. It doesn't work and it's exhausting. I say this for the people who are supporting the person in office.

This is exhausting for everybody, you know, no one's happy, you know, deep, deep down inside, even though, you know, this party controls the government. They're in charge of everything. They're in charge of the White House. They're in charge of Congress. They're in charge of everything. So everything that's been going on has happened under their watch. So if anybody's mad on their side and disgruntled and feeling distempered or feeling angry or

scared, it's because we're going to follow in that agenda. Yeah. We are living in a country that is based on a lack of humility, a lack of truth, a lack of hope, and it doesn't feel good. It doesn't feel good just for us. It doesn't feel good for anybody because it doesn't work. You cannot lead a nation based on fear alone, that there has to be some level of hope and optimism and unity and connectivity and empathy and compassion.

It's who we are as people and there will be nothing that happens to change that in our evolutionary process anytime soon. So we need to make sure we have leaders who recognize those values, who live by them and not just mouth them in every four years when it's time to run for office. People have to live those values out if they want to feel it. So I hope that people are focused and ready to make a change and vote in leaders who reflect who we are and who we want to be as a nation. You know, I've never been political.

I'm not a political comedian. It's not my medium. It's never been a big part of my show or my work. And I've never really felt that it was my place to be very vocal about who I was going to vote for just because I felt that no one was looking to me for that. But this feels very different. And that is why I'm being very vocal about wanting to support Joe Biden because I look at the man who's in office right now and I do not want my children to be living under

a president that I find embarrassing who I think does not have the values that I'm teaching my kids to have. I have a 14-year-old son and I have a 16-year-old daughter and there are certain ways I teach them to behave. And I know there are people listening that might say, well, Conan is just one of those knee-jerk liberal celebrities. And the point is I can't stress more that that is not the case. And I always try to see the nuance.

I always try to see past the politics and to see the humanity. And to me, it's just very clear that Joe Biden has to have not just my support, but I'm very passionate about that. I'm very passionate about it. And I think he's really evolved. I mean, I know you know him very well, but I think Joe Biden has some of my favorite people evolve. I think he's a very decent man.

I really do. And I would love to see him in the White House. Yeah. I couldn't agree with you more. And I'm right with you when it comes to politics. I know I was a former First Lady, but it was because I happened to be married to somebody who became the president of the United States, not because I've got this deep desire to be in politics.

So I get it. And I understand how people feel cynical about it, which is one of the reasons why I try to stay clear of it. Because I think that once you, in this society, because we're so divided, once you sort of identify yourself as a Republican or Democrat, the other half just can't hear what you have to say. Right. So for me, you know, while in the last presidential elections, I've been very involved, not because

I wanted to, but because I understood what was at stake. I mean, I tried to tell people, look, I know what it takes to be the president. I've seen it in ways that some of the best minds have it, you know? And I know what kind of person is required and what the skill set needs to be. And this president doesn't have it. He doesn't have what is required to lead a nation. And we are living with that. Now, Joe Biden, on the other hand, I mean, I know this man so personally.

I know Joe Biden. And is he perfect? No. But what did we say earlier? None of us are. And he will be the first to admit his flaws. He will admit his mistakes. But what he is, is he has humility because he knows loss.

He knows suffering. He has, you know, he has weeped and mourned with people. He has character. He is a profoundly decent man who has devoted his entire life to public service compared to who's sitting in the White House now, where it's really been about enriching himself, enriching his family, relating the rich people who he can identify with. And it's so amazing to me when Joe Biden is such a regular Joe, you know, that he is that guy from Scranton who has been working his fingers to the bone, his entire life for

going wealth, for going, you know, he's not a poor guy, but he has pushed aside a lot of income because he has this belief in our responsibility to serve the public. And he's devoted his life to that. That's the kind of leader that we need. And I am not speaking as a politician. I am speaking out now in the same way because there isn't a choice in this election. And I just have to do everything in my power to help people really think this through in a way that is nonpartisan, but is true and it's real.

And this election couldn't be more important for the direction that this country is going to go. I know that there are people who feel like they like the way things are. They like the, you know, the sort of rough and tumble and the crassness of this president. They like his sort of grittiness, whatever it is. But we are suffering as a nation because of it. And there is no clear plan for us moving this country in the right direction if we don't make a change.

And that's just facts. Yeah. There's one thing that stuns me in the world we're in today that I do not understand, which is what has always stood in politics is that when things happen during a president's term and you saw this firsthand, that president is accountable. It's just, it's on your watch, so you're accountable. And good things happen, great, you benefit. Some bad things happen, you take the hit.

That is the way it has always been in American politics. And now we're in this strange moment where I watch these ads, these ads for Trump and I watch people campaigning for Trump and they're running as if he's an outsider who's trying to replace president Biden. And to the degree that it's almost comical, they'll say, elect Trump and we'll stop all of this negativity and this violence and we'll stop the horrors of the pandemic and we'll stop, don't you hate what's been happening the last couple of years? What's all going to end if we could give Trump a chance and I think, what are you talking

about? He's the incumbent. This is insanity. This is madness. It makes me think of, you know, the tagline when my husband was president was thanks Obama, right? Right. I mean, you remember that.

Anything that happened wrong in the world, it was thanks Obama, you know, my dog died. Thanks Obama. Do you ever use that on him around the house? Oh no, we do all the time. All the time. If you left the mayonnaise out all night and you're like, thanks Obama, it's so perfect. It is stunning to watch kind of the Okie Doke being played. It is just amazing to sit back and see things that, you know, we just keep saying, what

would happen if Barack Obama said that, did that look like that, walk that way, talk that way, I mean, it's just a, you know, and the Republican Party would be apoplectic. So it is bizarre, but it's also, you know, to put on that empathy hat, there are a lot of folks who are hurting, who are his supporters and they've been hurting for a while. This economy has not worked for a lot of people for a long time to come and people have been rightfully frustrated and they feel alienated. And so in order for us to get this back on track, we have to understand what has led people outside of racism, which is the thing everybody points to, but it's not just that.

There are a lot of decent folks who are hardworking, who have been bamboozled and are afraid of things that they don't know and they don't understand, and that is playing a significant role in people feeling like, you know, this is the only way to make things better is to stick with this guy who talks tough and says exactly what they think they want to hear. You know, I can understand where that comes from, but, you know, we also have to understand those of us have to put themselves in other people's shoes too and to think of the level of racist and homophobic and misogynistic language that makes, quite frankly, people with my skin color feel afraid.

To worry is like, is this what my country thinks of me that, you know, people who look like me are a threat to the suburbs that, you know, somehow young people like me who are protesting because of ingest criminal systems that somehow we're the, you know, we're the non-patriots that we are the ones that are the problem. As I've said this, it hurts in a way that is hard to describe when you are an American who has led a life where you have tried to do right and play by the rules and get a good education and come from families that have raised you well with the values that this country says it upholds and to know that there are people who would vote for a continuation

of this kind of chaos, possibly because they're afraid of me. It hurts and it's sad. And for anybody who is undecided and thinks that this doesn't matter or thinks that, you know, my taxes are low and so, you know, I'm not really being hurt. I don't know anybody who got sick from this virus. I'm fine. The message that another four years of this sends, wow, I just have to sit with that and say we now know who this president is.

We know what this man stands for. People can't pretend like, well, maybe it'll get better. Maybe he'll be more presidential. All that says to people like me is that you don't really care about my pain. You don't care about my hurt. You're not willing to even try to empathize with people like me and my mom, people you've met like my brother. That's the vast majority of brown and black folks, immigrants, LGBTQ folks, they're decent

people trying to live life. And we are frustrated too when things don't go right, but that doesn't mean that we are enemies of the state. That doesn't mean that we want our neighbors to fear us so much that they would forego healthcare and job creation and working on our environment because they're so afraid of the possibility of us. Yeah. Yeah.

The word empathy is used so much these days that it's in danger of losing its meaning to people because they hear it a lot and people say, this president lacks empathy, but you really have to break down that word and what that means. It's caring about other people. And it's been demonstrated to me time and time and time and time and time again that the current occupant does not, on a very human level, he doesn't care. I don't think about other people. And I know that Joe Biden was not a perfect person because nobody is.

And there were many different choices for candidates in the Democratic Party. I think it's been really inspirational how just a few months ago, it felt like the Democratic Party was fractured. And then once Joe Biden got the nomination, everybody came together. And I think that speaks to his ability to unify. I think a lot of people can get behind Joe Biden. And so I'm very, I'm with you on this. I know as parents, we both have two children and I very much want my children to respect

the president of the United States. And I can't lie to them and tell them that I respect the current president of the United States as a person, as a man, I don't. And so that has been. And Conan, you don't have to lie to them. They just aren't stupid. You know, they are watching. They watch.

You know, it's like, we can tell them. And I wouldn't want to anyway. I wouldn't want to anyway, but it hurts me that I didn't always growing up, I didn't always like and I knew that my parents didn't always like the occupant of the White House and throughout my life. But I never felt this kind of disassociation from somebody as a human being. This is a first for me in my, you know, and I am 57 years old and I have never, ever felt this way about a human being that was in the White House.

I never felt this disconnected from them as, as a human being. And I find that to be sad and scary. And I think that's, that's why I really think this time needs to end. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. And that's why, you know, I'm doing everything in my power and I know that there are many folks out there who are doing everything in their power to get the word out.

You know, when we all vote is initiative that I started several years ago, even before this president was in office, because I knew that we were dealing with a problem in the society with people who haven't learned to make voting a part of their life. It's not a part of the culture in a fundamental way. And we tend to only really talk about voting every four years right before an election. And that's just not enough to shift a culture and change the way young people view their, their role as citizens. So, you know, our goal, while it's very important in these coming weeks, because the election

is fast approaching, the work that we do must go on and on and on, because we shouldn't be in a position where we have to convince Americans to use their right, regardless of their party. We have to make sure that people in this country understand that democracy only works when citizens are engaged. So I am grateful to everyone stepping up now. It's just that no matter what happens on November 3rd, we have to keep this going because we're in this position because too many people don't think that voting matters.

They don't understand what the president of the United States means, what the job entails. They don't know, they don't know the separation of powers and what issues are directly controlled at the state level or the federal level. They don't understand what the Supreme Court does and doesn't do in their lives. And a lot of that has to do with our floundering educational system, the fact that we don't put enough resources into educating the vast majority of our young people. But we have to find a way to keep doing that. We have to make sure that young people coming up, that they look at voting with as much

excitement as they do with getting their driver's license. Yes, yes. It's amazing to me that, you know, kids know how to get some heart and getting your license is not easy. You got, you got to get a permit, you got to drive for X number of hours, then you got to go to the DMV. I mean, let's just stop there. Every kid I know, when they get that X, they're all of a sudden, they're taking tests, they're

standing in line. I mean, you know, they will move heaven and earth to get a license to drive a car and then be like, well, voting is too hard. It's like, it's not harder than getting your license. Okay. I hate to break it to you, but my assistant Sona has never got a license, but drives anyway. Yes.

I live on the edge. She lives on the edge. Yeah. She's also a, well, she's a known shoplifter, but we'll talk about that in a minute. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Now he's telling all your business. We're going to let that go, but there's more important things, you know, to talk about. Well, I want to make sure I get this message out that whenweallvote.org is where you go, and it will give you the information you need to get registered to vote and make your plan to vote early. I mean, I think in the last election, there were 100 million people that didn't vote, that were eligible to vote, which is shocking. It's absolutely shocking.

We can do so much better and we have to. Yes. I did hear a dog bark while you were speaking so eloquently in the background. Yeah. Yeah. That was Bo. Yeah. Okay.

Well, I just- He doesn't know that I'm on a podcast. You didn't explain to Bo that- I didn't know. I did, in fact, I had someone give him meat to take him away, and then he's like right up under my feet, breathing, he breathes heavy because he's such a heavy breather. And then all these plugs, I'm like, you're going to unplug everything. I'm guessing that you probably put someone in charge of keeping an eye on Bo during- I thought I did. And you know what I say to that?

Thanks, Obama. I know just who to blame. It is a joy, it's a joy and a privilege to talk to you and I just want to thank you as for using your platform to share your humanity with people because you do such a good job through the podcast and through just all your appearances of showing people who you are. And I know the real you and you are an enormously impressive human being who would never pretend to be perfect, but I think that is such a rare thing that no one's doing that right now. And the fact that you're out there showing people who you are is a credit to you, it's

a credit to your mom and not a credit to your brother, by the way. I think it's way too much credit. He gets a pass, that guy. I don't know why he gets a pass. I knew I loved you, Conan. Yeah. All right. Well, I love you too.

Thank you. Take care and please try and get some downtime today. Absolutely. Don't work too hard. Absolutely. All right. Okay. We are back.

It's just us now, the person who commanded all the respect has now left the interview. And that was special. It was special to, I know, 2020 has been such a, whatever you want to call it, everybody has their own images, but just a wretched year and it sort of just felt healing to talk to Michelle Obama. I know. You know, I think if I had had any ailments beforehand, my doctor would say, they're just gone.

Yep. We just scanned you and they're gone. She's a reminder of better times. Yeah. Yeah. And just that she's just a calming presence or something. Yeah. I know.

And I have to say it's first of all, I'm very passionate about people voting and I have in the past, you know, people say, hey, whether it's MTV rock the vote or let's get out the vote and it's felt like, no, that's, that's a good cause, but this year, this year it feels like there's a new imperative, obviously. And so I'm thinking of getting vote tattooed on my forehead backwards so that when it's on TV, it is that wait, what doesn't have to be backwards. No, I want it to be rear view mirror. Yes.

That's it. The ambulance thing. Vote tattooed on my forehead backwards like an ambulance logo on the hood so that when I'm in the rear view mirror of someone's car, they see Conan O'Brien and they can read vote on my forehead. Right. But no one else will read it that way. When they interact with you.

Yes. So you walk around with it on your forehead. Yes. I'm going to walk around with it on my forehead all the time and people are going to say, what's that all about? And I'll be like, do me a favor, wise ass, get in your car, I'll give you an eight second head start. Don't go too fast and then look for the Kia behind you and that'll be me and that'll be

me. And this is the way I like to do it. It's a little sneakier. I think it's anyone can wear a vote t-shirt, but for me to get ETOV on my forehead and then wait for people to notice me in their rear view mirror because I tend to get up a little close to the bumper. Oh, yeah. No.

Bit of a tailgater. Okay. Then I'll... That's cool. I think people say like, wow, that's cool. Yeah. Yeah. You talk about it all the time about how a lot of younger people don't generally turn

out to vote and how it's important for them to vote. And I mean, I remember how jarring it was when I first voted. What was the first election you were allowed to participate in? Was this... Oh. When did you get to this country? Okay. Come on.

No, I'm just curious. Come on. I'm unclear. I was born here. Oh. I didn't jump out of a bush like you tell people. Did you say you jumped out of a bush? Yes, you have.

You said I floated to this country and then I was this feral human and I jumped out of a bush and... Craziness. ...domesticated me and taught me how to be an assistant. That's ridiculous. It's a horrible thing to say. Terrible. My first election was George W's first election.

Right. And... And ironically, his name was Bush. That was so bad. That was so bad. Let's take a pause. None of this can be used. We have to cut all of this out, man.

We just have to take it out. It's awful. Yeah. These are terrible comments to make. After this could be a historic interview with Michelle Obama in which we both got very serious and heartfelt. And now we're back in the muck again so quickly. And you got partisan for the first time ever.

I can't believe that would even be a surprise to people. I was listening to that show the daily the other day and they were talking to undecided voters and people were saying, yeah, I'm still not sure. It's really true. I'm like, how are you not sure? I mean, I wanted to reach through my iPhone and grab that person and say, really, you're unsure? Well, still need to know more about this Joe Biden.

Trump has... Things have gone horribly for four years, but I don't know about Biden. It's not quite sure. I'd like to hear about more. Where is he on forestry? What are his policies for the woodlands? What are you... It's insane.

It's insane. There is no choice. There's absolutely no choice. There's one person who reads things, he reads pages and can digest what is said to him and then make a decision. And then there's another person who will show go nameless, who it's been proven he can't read. They use puppets when they tell him things.

And it's... You know, it's not... This is not like, oh, celebrities are so partisan and, oh, I'm in a liberal bubble. It's like, come on. I've known and had a lot of respect for many people on both sides of the aisle and this current situation we're in is absolutely absurd. And I guess this was a kooky experiment America wanted to try and it didn't work out and let's accept it and move on.

And so, I'm sorry, there's no... So that's why it doesn't feel like, and now Conan's going to reveal who's it he thinks of the election. I wonder what's the Las Vegas odds happening in 50-50. What's Conan, who's rarely political going to say? One of them can actually speak on different matters, actually has real relationships with people in his life and isn't just a neuron firing angrily. We should have saved it as a tease, we just kept plugging it where he...

America we're going to reveal between Donald Trump, former reality star, and Joe Biden who's given his life to serving this country. Which one, Conan thinks, is better equipped after four years of diarrhea falling from the skies? Which one is Conan O'Brien going to vote for? Well, today in a special Michelle Obama episode, get ready, here it is, well, and then I'm all coy, let's see, I'll say this, he's a white male, hee! Oh, Conan, you rascal, who will you vote for?

Yeah, no, no, no, no, it's all clear what we have to do and if you disagree with me, blah, blah, blah. But if you're undecided, my God, I'm still not sure. It really is like saying, so where are you on, you're going to be in the ocean for six days and you need to stay alive, you can have a life preserver or you can have a bank safe to hold on to. I don't want to rush into anything, I don't want to think about it, now tell me, what's the shape of the bank safe?

Well, one floats and one will help you float and even if you pass out, you can wrap it around your waist and you'll stay afloat in the ocean and you'll survive and people will find you and they'll give you water and you'll be rehydrated and you'll live forever. The other, you'll plunge to the bottom, three miles down and die instantly. Yeah, so what's the color of the safe, I'm undecided. So anyway, there you have it. And you love history, you know more about presidential history than anyone else. Well anyone you know, yes, that's true.

The family doesn't know a lot of presidential history. That's not fair. Do they? No. Okay then. Don't just don't say it. But I don't like you saying that. I love your family, you know that, I love your family and they're very, I love them, I just

don't think, I don't think your mom like is a huge Martin Van Buren fan, I'm just gonna say that. Yeah, okay, yeah, that's very controversial. Yeah, she hasn't read the latest Robert Caro biography. Nor should she. Wait, you're saying don't read Robert Caro? I'm not anti-caro, I don't know why, I just want to be controversial. Why do you love him?

I want to pick up on some of that Joe Rogan vibe, you know. Conan blasts Caro, formerly huge fan, now hates, you know, I just want to, you know. Big news. Yeah, exactly. That's gonna, that's gonna get us some ink, that's gonna blow up, that's gonna be everywhere. Conan turns on Caro, people, who's Conan? What's Caro, what's this now? Because everywhere are buzzing.

Why buzzers are buzzing? Anyway, that was very special and our deep thanks to Michelle Obama and to all her people who made that possible, I know how busy she is and I don't take any of that for granted, just a real honor to get to speak with her. Yep. Conan O'Brien needs a friend, with Sonamov Sessian and Conan O'Brien as himself, produced by me, Matt Gorley, executive produced by Adam Sacks, Joanna Solotarov and Jeff Ross at Team Coco and Colin Anderson and Chris Bannon at Earwolf, theme song by the White

Stripes, incidental music by Jimmy Vavino. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. The show is engineered by Will Bekton. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review featured on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 323-451-2821 and leave a message.

It too could be featured on a future episode. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded. This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf.