Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Niecy Nash Betts

Episode Date: January 15, 2024

Actress and comedian Niecy Nash Betts feels very sexy about being Conan O’Brien’s friend.Niecy sits down with Conan to talk about discovering the healing properties of comedy, developing characters while working in customer service, her new film Origin, and using a fake booty to sneak into a party thrown by Prince. Plus, the gang reviews Bley’s new sophisticated getup.For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com.Got a question for Conan? Call our voicemail: [phone].

Hi, my name is Nisi Nash Betz, and I feel very sexy about being Conan O'Brien's friend. Yes, I've been listening to years and years that people say, I feel less than enthused. And that's part of why I feel sexy because I have to pull up for you. I'm team Coco, like I'm in it. Look at me I just look like I sort of work at the library. I can tell that we are gonna be friends I can tell that we are gonna be friends Hey there welcome to Conan O'Brien needs a friend. I just hit Sonoma the pen. Yeah on the hand It was my way of trying to control you. It was childish and I admit that it was wrong Okay, do you apologize? No, I do not. Oh, okay You just admit you did something wrong, but you don't want to apologize. Exactly.

Welcome. This is Sonam of Session who's speaking now. Regular on the show. My assistant and we have a little treat today. I don't want to say it like it's an exciting good news. Matt Gorley. No. Matt Gorley couldn't be with us today, but sitting in his stead is my backup assistant who took over. He's kind of your main assistant now. Not at kind of, he is my assistant because you do nothing. To some extent. David Hopping, David Hopping, welcome to the show.

Thank you. David Hopping, just in case you're not familiar with him, David Hopping came in to sort of take over Sonia when you were with child. Yes. Actually with two children. Yeah. Mikey and Charlie. You called Rubin Tug. I called him in the womb. I called them Rubin with child. Yes. Actually with two children. Yeah. Mikey and Charlie.

You called Rubin Tug. I called him in the womb. I called them Rubin Tug. Yes. But then they were born and you christened them. Mikey and Charlie, great Armenian names. Real testament to your love of your homeland.

And then I really was thinking it was going to be like Grigu and Gorgor. Wow. No, what do I mean that? Those are legitimate names, right? I thought that'd be cool. No, the ones you just said? Yeah.

No. That's Armenian, isn't it? Can't be gibberish. Oh, great. Greigoo and Gogo? I don't know. I was doing my best to honor your culture and then I realized I didn't do any research,

which is a terrible way to honor someone's culture. No. Are you doubling down? I am doubling down. I'm even better. So we're joined by someone who's really taken up the slack. And then some, David Hopping, you've done a wonderful job. Oh, thank you.

I mean, I just want to say everything I learned about being an assistant I learned from sort of. Oh, and he's doing a great job. Hey, what's positive reinforcement like? Great. Oh, okay. Do you think I give you positive reinforcement? You do. Yeah. I treat you really nice. I give you positive reinforcement? Yeah. Yeah. I treat

you really nice. I treat you so much better than Sonia. You send me like text saying like I'm doing a good job. What? Those aren't me. That's an AI bot. That's a we had that constructed Aaron Blayer made that for me. When you get those every now and then and it just says you're doing a good job and I value you and things like that, I have nothing to do with that. Yeah, have you noticed that they're signed cronins? Yeah, I just figured you were losing it. Yeah, even the ones that say I'm so sorry for your loss, those are randomly generated.

Cause you haven't had a loss recently. And doesn't it confuse you when you just wake them in the morning, it says, David, I'm so sorry for your loss, cronin. Yeah, that is a little weird, but I just checked to make sure I know and I know died. Oh my God. David, tell us a little bit. You're from I've I asked you a lot about your your childhood, your youth. You you grew up in a very rural area of southern Illinois called Carlinville. Yes. And I actually

went online and you need to do street views. It is very flat in Carlinville. Yes. And I actually went online and you need to do street views. It is very flat in Carlinville. Very flat and a lot of corn. And I looked at your house. And there's just literally like us house. Yes, you told me your address. I asked you when I looked at the street view, it was your house and then just corn. Uh-huh. And and way in the distance a silo. And and then I took a stab and said, I bet you guys spent a lot of time hanging out at the local DQ. And you said, yes, the DQ was huge.

And that's not a put down, because I love a dairy queen. Dairy queen's awesome. Dairy queen's awesome. I heard. Yeah. You did, right? That's pretty much your childhood was

watching the corn grow from your back window and then hitting the DQ. I mean, I want to just sit and watch it grow from your back window and then hitting the DQ. I mean, I want to just like sit and watch it grow, but I would like to do other things. Did you make little markings on the window? Like that's the top of the corn now. No. But then come back an hour later and that's a little higher.

I would never do that. Okay. Can I ask you a question? Yes. When you found out where he's from, did you Google and look at where he's from just so you could come up with things to make fun of him for? Yes, I did. Okay, I thought you. I thought you. Yes, I did. You're doing your research. Yeah. Just as I did with you. Yeah, I know. I know. That's why I'm. I'm really got a globe of the world and I found Armenia. Not a real globe. Yeah. The last guy who I walked past a computer and went to a 1940s globe and looked up Armenia.

And when I say looked up, I mean spun it around until I found it. Oh, wow. Yeah. But anyway, you're doing a very nice job and I bet you your family, your folks back home must be proud of you. I think so. Yeah. Yeah.

What do you mean? I think so. You're working. Do they say what's Conan like? People ask a lot about what you're like. Yeah. And what do you say? I usually say that you're like nice. A glowing report from David Hopping.

Yeah, you're welcome in Carlinville anytime. I'd like to go there with you actually. You played. Remember you I did some sketches with you back in the day. When you first came on and you weren't even really my assistant yet, I forget what you were doing at the show. I think just hanging around. I remember well, I was your PA.

You were a PA. You were a PA. I want to check out David Hoppe, you can see these on YouTube. I did that one where they gave me a wig and I was your successor. Yes, I wanted to bring a successor in case something happens to me. Uh-huh. Or I'm greavously injured. We want someone who could step right into the breach and so we put a cone and wig on

you and I tried to train you to be me. Yeah, you chose the most awkward person. But it's funny, though. It's funny, funny. But you are really funny. It's very good if you want to see what, and I know you have your own podcast. I do. Called Back to the if you want to, you know, see what, uh, and I know you have your own podcast. I do call back to the best back to the best where you explore the 90s. 90s and 2000s. Yeah. Yeah. And one of your big obsessions is, uh, just in general. Well,

yeah, a specific actress. And who wants to want to think? Oh, of course, Hillary Duff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Lizzie. Lizzie. And why are no, she's not here. Oh, this isn't Oprah. Where look up? Look under your seat. It's Hillary Duff. But you know, like you could probably get her here, right? She won't pick up the phone for me. I can't. No, I will one day. It's my quest to get you to meet Hillary Duff. Oh, man. I don't know her. I don't really know Hillary Duff. What about share? He really loves share too. What? Can you meet, can we share? Oh, no, share is, I mean, come on, that's share.

What? She's like a goddess. I know. And there's no way she's, it's your, your family. Okay. Okay, David, hey, you're doing a great job. Hey, I'll introduce you to your idol.

And then I'm over here. And it's like, we're share. I'll do an impression for you. Okay. Hillary Duff's at home. And someone calls from the next room. Hillary, Conan O'Brien would do an impression for you. Okay. Uh, Hillary Duff's at home and someone calls from the next room Hillary, Conan O'Brien would like to speak to you. My guess is she says, huh? Okay. I'll talk to him, right? Reasonable. Now let's go into the share world.

Share. What is it? Share. It's, it's me your assistant Conan O'Brien would like to Share it's it's me your assistant Conan O'Brien would like to That's the impression and I think those are fairly accurate So you're not meeting share But you are that you are definitely gonna meet Hillary Duff I I'm gonna arrange it. Yeah, so I'll take care of that. It's the best day. I'm having the best time.

Oh, good. Wow, I love it here. Are you doing it? I got compliments and Hillary Duff's coming in. Yeah, this is great for you. Thanks for having babies, so. Yeah, yeah. Does he call your dad, Jepetto?

No. Okay, cool. You know what, it is nice to see David so happy. I haven't seen him this excited since they fixed the Blizzard Machine at the DQ. You know, we should talk about today's show. We got a great one. My guest today has starred in such series as Reno 911 Clause and Dahmer.

And now you can see here in the new movie Origin, I really like this woman. I'm thrilled she's here today. Misi Nash Betts, welcome. Just before I sat down to talk to you minutes ago, I was talking to a bunch of students who came by and they're all studying communications and they wanted to know, you know, give us some advice about the business and I talked to them for a while and the first thing you said when I came in is, what did you tell them? Did you tell them? I said, did you tell them? Did you tell them? I said, did you tell them the truth?

Now you tell us what the truth is. Oh my goodness. Let's hear it. If you want them, you know, to prepare you for a show business, make sure you buy a big flat of top ramen. Yeah, like ramen noodles. Because I didn't say, I lived on chicken flavored ramen noodles, and I could make a tuna fish sandwich. Oh, yeah That's what I lived off of for years. That's what I'm trying to say. That's all you got to tell the kids right

I didn't say that you got to tell them to always make sure they have Advil or some sort of pain reliever because you get a sore back sleeping on different couches. Yes You know, you got to tell them these things. Yeah, you got to tell them that they will talk about you right in front of your face in an audition like you're not even standing there. This happened to me. I'm literally in an audition. And the one woman says to the guy sitting next to it, she has a cute face.

Do you think she could lose weight? And I was like, I can hear you. You're right there. Right here. So what is it? There's something like, first of all, that experience, you do get dehumanized. You know, it's always a writer. I never went just the pure acting route for good reason. And I think I saved America some bad acting. But, but, but I see how you have to go, they'll bring in 9,000 people for one role. And they read you and they probably stop seeing you as a person.

And more is just like, this is a commodity. Can we use this person? Can we not? And then they shuffle you through. And that does such a number on people's egos. You know what? For me, I have to say that, and this is another thing you could tell the kids that I've always known, that there is a difference

between the call on your life and a hobby. Those are two different things. You're gonna show up differently because when I knew that this was my plan A and my plan B was to make my plan A work, when I walked into that room, if they did not choose me, I had no problem saying, I feel so sorry for you. And I've met it with my whole chest.

That's great. You know what I mean? Cause you don't know, I'ma be the thing. You'll see what you can see. What do you get that confidence? Cause a lot of people would kill to have that confidence. I get that confidence if I've had a lot to drink. Oh boy.

No, really just a lot to drink. I feel like it's, see if, if you're missing out on this, and my wife says, shut up. You know, I am it. And she's like, you're really not. You know, but that's how I feel if I've had some kind of substance. Well, I would probably have to say very early on, I just chose to believe the manufacturer.

I'm like, that's, you know what I mean? When I pray, and I understand what my marching orders are, what I sense at my spirit is for me and I just move forward with reckless abandon. I don't even think about it not happening. And when people don't say it, I'm like, oh, okay. Even from when I met Ed Asner as a kid on a Hollywood walk of fame, I told him I was like, I know, you know, no me.

My name is Nisi. I'm going to get a star right here one day and he was like, yeah, kid, scream. And he put a cigar out on your head. Basically, and I was screaming as he was walking away. Remember my name. You know, so I didn't have a doubt about it. But then you got a star. And I invited him to come.

You seriously did? I invited him to come. He sent me a letter and said, I reminded him of our conversation. He said, I'm glad you didn't let a crotchety old man keep you from your dream. And he said, of course, I know your name. And he drew a star and he wrote my name and he said he could not come.

But the day before my ceremony, I got a call. And he said, I'll be there. Wow. And he came. That's amazing. Yeah. He came to my, my star ceremony. There's no other word than some sort of divine voice in you that tells you this is gonna work, you know?

Yes, and even though you have it, it doesn't mean you don't have days until the kids this too. Get you some knee pads because you're gonna be crawling across that floor, hollering and crying because there are some things you want so bad. Oh, yeah. And even though you know everything is divinely ordered in your humanity, we just want what we want,

when we want it, you know, and how we want it. So I've had days like that, you know, where people didn't see me like I saw myself, people thought I was a one-trip pony for a long time. They're like, oh, no, you do comedy. We know what you do. And I'm like, I can do more than that. And you know the adage, people who can make you laugh can make you cry

The reverse is not always true, right? You know what I mean? You're best dramatic actors. You're probably never gonna see on a comedy and you know a Multi-cam coming this fall. You're not you're you're just not But somebody who can make you laugh has the bandwidth Has the agency has the depth to also bring you to tears. And I was like, give me a chance. And for a long time, they said, no. And then finally, I got a chance.

And now I'm doing so much drama. I think people forgot I'm funny. I'm like, oh, no. How did it write me a script? LAUGHTER Did you feel like, well, first of all, Oh, no! How did it ride me a scrap? Oh, no! Did you feel like, well, first of all, when I first knew you, and a lot of people knew you was someone who's just really naturally funny. You're just, you know, you're very gifted,

you're very naturally funny, and that is how I first knew you, and you'd come on the show, and I thought, I'm always fascinated to figure out, when did you realize you were funny? Did you always know where you went as when you were a little kid? That's usually when people figure it out.

If you get at a very early age that, I've got this power, I've got this thing I can do. I always knew that I was funny, but it wasn't, I didn't know that comedy was a gift because I got in trouble for it. I got pinched in church for clowning around. You know what I mean? I like a nun or a...

By my mama. Oh, but you're a mom. Yeah. Okay, see you, so you knew you're a sailor. That's the important thing. You could identify you're a sailor. Yeah. So, and I would get talks too much on my report card.

And my mother's like, well, what are you in class talking about? I'll be, sometimes I tell jokes. She's like, I got a joke, go get the belt. You know what I mean? And so I got in trouble for it. So I didn't know it was a gift until 1993. My brother was murdered on his high school campus. And my mother says, I'm getting in the bed

and I'm never getting back out. So I'm like, what could I do? And I was like 22, 23. And I'm like, I don't know what to do, but I do know I can make my mama laugh. So I started performing at the foot of her bed every day. I would come over there and do my bed and do my jokes and do my voices. And one day I came over and she

wasn't in the bed. And I said, mama, she said, we're in here. I don't know who is we. Well, I went across the street and got Miss Brown and Miss Sadie. And I told him, you was funny. Get that karaoke microphone and stand up there and tell these people some jokes. I was like, what is happening? And so in that moment, I tapped the karaoke mic. Is this thing on? How's everybody doing in the living room? I don't know what I'm saying. Like, what am I doing up here? Be good to your waitress. She worked hard. And so I started, as I'm telling my things and doing my bit. That's when I realized that comedy was healing. I realized it was a gift.

And that voice said to me because I was trying to get jobs as a very serious actress. I'm like, listen, are they doing part six of roots? I would love to be the lead slave. You know, I wanted to cry and fall all out on camera. Couldn't get a job anywhere in town. What was your role model as a kid for the actress that you wanted to be?

Do you think? Oh, when I was younger, probably more like Sicily Tyson. Of course. You know, like that kind of a vibe, Diana Ross and Mahogany. But majestic, these are majestic people. Yeah. Yeah. And so when I'm standing there saying these my hogging knee. But majestic, these are majestic people. Yeah. And so when I'm standing there

saying these jokes in the karaoke microphone, the voice as audible as my own says, Nisi, don't be a selfish heifer. It's a lot of people suffering. Go outside and spread this joy around. And I went outside and I said, my name is Nisi Nash and I'm funny. And they were like, yes, you are, little girl.

Let us give you a job. And that was, you know, when I knew it was a lot more to it, you know? Yeah, but it's interesting that for me, it was a revelation that this thing I can do to cheer up my mom or make people laugh in a tense situation. There's a job that you could, it's actually a job. I didn't know it was a job. I grew up in Boston in the 1970s.

There's no one, I wasn't bumping into people and show business. I didn't know that it was a job for the longest time, which was kind of a cool thing to find out. I thought this is just something you do with people for fun. And I mean, even the way Sona and I, Sona is my assistant. And we were just,

we would always mess with each other, screw around, and then people would laugh. And then we'd put it on camera. Now it's like this mini industry. You didn't know this would happen when you signed up to be my assistant. No, I didn't. You thought you'd be getting me like, you've foot inserts, you know, for the rest of your life. I did that too, but yeah. And by the way, I need them again. Oh, okay, it's time. I don't want to assist you anymore, so go out the new guy. Yeah.

But we need the new foot inserts. My orthotics. But, but I mean, that was just something that was natural and real, and then you realized that's all there is, is just if we can put it on a camera on our microphone. Yeah. But I didn't know, it took me a while to know that. Yeah. And you just seemed to, you knew, you get into it. Well, I knew I was a lover first, and then funny second.

I mean, I remember I liked a boy when I was in kindergarten and I knew something told me, doll up, look nice. So I wore my bag and my grandmother to let me wear my Sunday dress, which was a purple velvet teen. So I, and my long socks, and my patented leather shoes, and my rabbit jacket, you know, back then they used to, you know, in the 70s.

They used to take a little piece of rabbit and make your little jacket out of it. My rabbit jacket and I put a piece of candy in my sock. Wait a minute, you put a piece of candy where? In my sock, so I can. So I can, so I can offer him a piece of candy. In your sock? Because I don't have pockets.

No, I understand. But, so you'd say would you like a piece of candy and then and pull it out of my Sun and then put it on your Sun and that way that draws attention to the leg and the ankle come on Never thought of that I'm gonna try that and now when I talk to people say I got some candy in my I'm gonna have a way different man. I got candy in my front. Don't know it, go, go. No, no, no. No, so many things were looked cool back then

and now we're just creepy. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. Like for a while you said you felt like you got Tite cast, pigeon hold, whatever you want to call it, siloed as you're the funny person. It's like on Reno 9-1-1, they probably just,

people love you and then they think, that's what you do, right? That's it, that's what you do. We know you and we know what you know how to do and you know how to do that. And it took a long time, you know, to get people to see me how I see myself. You know what I mean?

I'm a multi-hyphenant. I can do all the things. You know what I mean? Don't put this baby in the corner and tell me, I'm only one thing. You know what I mean? So I, but I'm happy now because I feel like my peers get it. Yes.

They're like, oh, okay. And I'm curious in that whole time, you just knew you could do it, were you studying, acting at all, were you, or did you, because initially when you got into comedy, they asked you, can you do improv? Yeah.

And you and you lie. Ha, ha, ha, I lie my way into it. But you know what? You just said I could when you had never, did you know what improv was? Nope. Okay. You know what's so funny?

It occurred to me. That is improv. Can you do improv? Yes was? Nope. Okay. You know what's so funny? It occurred to me. That is improv. Can you do improv? Yes, I can. Yeah. Because that's what improv is. Is yes and. And so of course you lied to do it.

I lied and then I caught my friend, big George. And I was like, what the hell is improv? And he was like, you know, he was like, they also wanted me to do sketch. I had never done that before either. But I was like, yeah, you know what I mean?. I had never done that before either, but I was like, yep. You know what I mean? And I just caught my friend and said,

what do I have to do? I'm like, oh, just be dumb. Like I always, you know, I'm around my house doing the same, you know, make me up stupid stuff I'm already doing. Yeah, I could do that. Yeah, well, so that's a natural thing. If I didn't know you and you didn't know me and you were working in a bank and I came in

and we would start goofing around the two of us and we'd make something. Oh, yeah. Because I would know right away, you'd, I'd say something, maybe silly to you and you'd come right back with stuff that was 10 times funnier and sillier. And before you know it, that's what we'd be doing.

Yeah, it would be a bit. That's not because we're in this profession. It's because. No. Do you know how many times, let me tell you something. When the people tell you this call may be monitored for training person, that's your true statement. I used to answer phones on a midnight shift

for a airline whose name I'm not gonna say. And I got in trouble so many times because it's the graveyard shift and I'm like, I could work on characters while I answer the phone. Well guess what guys, you can't. You're not supposed to do that. I'm like, good evening, where you want to go now?

Oh. And that lady in that tower would always put her finger and be like, and everybody would laugh at me because they're like, ah, she getting in trouble again. And I, you know, yeah. So yes, to your point, if we were at the bank. It's so funny, you mentioned that, because when I'm on any call and they say,

by the way, I'm trying to activate a credit card or trying to do something and they say this call is being monitored, I feel I gotta take it up a notch because they know my name and I think, well, they might be listening to this later on. Oh no! I gotta, so that's when I start sticking it up a little bit.

And sometimes they're laughing, but other times you're like, we just wanna finish this process. And no we're not going to all gather around later and listen to your really funny observations about American Express or you know master card no hey everybody come I just talked to Conan he gave me some good stuff and it's been monitored let's check it out it's not gonna happen people at work who just want to go home. They just want to go home. I want to get this idiot his credit card activated. So you said you could do improv and then quickly realized, yeah, I can do it. Of course I can do it.

I'm gonna figure it out. You know what I mean? But you know, it's so funny because when I audition for Reno, I did not know enough to know that you should kind of like work on a bit. You should workshop it. See where the jokes are. And you know that kind of thing. I just didn't know enough to know. So when I got the call back, I was like, I could do the same thing I did last time.

I said, but I found this hanker chiff in the back seat of my car. And I was thinking about something on the way over here called Carol the slave. Y'all wanna see it? They said, do we, and do it now. You know what I mean? And so it was just that by the seat of my pants because what I knew for sure,

I don't know if you're gonna book me on this job, but I know my ass is funny. Now I know that, I do know. So I did not fear the thing that I was the most comfortable in. You kind of know what I'm saying. So, you know, advantage, disadvantage. I don't know. I just feel like people want to work getting back to those kids

with people that they like at the end of the day. You know what I mean? You, your first minute, it's just to get them a like you. You know what I mean? You, you, you, your first, you know, a minute, it's just to get them to like you. You know what I mean? And not have that desperation that stinks up the room like, oh my God, if you don't do this, I'm going to have to move back to Nebraska next week. You know what I mean? If I don't get this job, but just like this is who I am. You know, it's funny because you brought up something else too, which is especially in comedy, but I think true in a lot of things, confidence, if people get the sense that you are okay, like an audience will look at

you. And if they know, hey, I'm fine with whatever happens. I got this. They relax. It's kind of a salesman job, but they relax and think, wow, Nese knows what she's doing. You know, we just brought her in and boy, as she relaxed and boy, as she confident. It almost, it makes it happen. I think. Listen, my grandmother used to tell me I remember I had a baby and baby, I don't know what happened. This body ran away from me and it was, it was meaty, cheesy and greasy. And I didn't feel comfortable and I didn't feel comfortable. And my grandmother looked me dead in my eyes.

She said, baby, when you use the only neck at home and in a room, you look good. I swear, I'll get you a driver. Mike, drive. Let me take my clothes off right now. You know, in use sometimes you just got to, you know what I mean? You got to rob off right now. You know, and sometimes you just gotta, you know what I mean? You gotta rob what you got. Yeah, well, I've been doing that.

I'm just gonna throw in what I got. Do you get confidence like that from your mom? I don't wanna make my mom feel bad, but no, I didn't. I just wanted to take a moment and make a mom feel bad. I know, it's different, but you're right. After you have a baby, because I had babies a couple years ago, and you feel very differently about it. So it's nice to know somebody said that to you

when you needed to hear that. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all those confidence boosters. How many kids do you have? Three. You have three kids. And how old are they?

What's their range? Uh, I think my son, did he just have a birthday? Yeah, you know, you start to forget. I have two kids and I can't even recall their names at this moment. Yeah, my son is 32. I have a girl that's 27 and a baby girl that's 24. Did they show the same interest in doing what you're doing? Or?

Yes. All wanted to do it. Yeah. But also too, I think when you grow up with your mom on TV, if you're good at your job, you make it look easy. You know what I mean? It's like, my mom can do that. I can do that.

And it wasn't unusual to sit down on a Saturday morning and oh, oh, my mom is hosting Clean House that's on Skip, Skip, Skip. Oh, Reno 911 is on my mom and I'm gonna let me watch that Skip, Skip, my mom is hosting clean house that's on Skip, Skip, Skip. Oh, Reno 911 is on my mom and I go, let me watch that Skip, Skip, Skip. Oh, my mom was in a movie that's, you know what I mean? It wasn't unusual to find me somewhere on television. And so very early on, they all were like,

ooh, pick me, pick me, pick me. Because they just think that's normal. You made it normal. Yeah, and it was like, that's what I wanna do. And so they're all in some sort of made it normal. Yeah. I mean, it was like, that's what I want to do. And so, they're all in some sort of entertainment right now. Yeah. All of them. When my boy was, he was four years old and he saw me do some big show in a big venue. And afterwards, he turned to my wife. And he said, when I grow up, I want to do something that doesn't happen in a theater or with people. do something that doesn't happen in a theater or with people.

And I thought, man, I must have been bad. And to his credit, he just, he loves comedy. And I think he likes what I do, but he's not, he just, that was not his thing. Not his thing. But he knew right away. He saw his dad making a fool of himself on the beacon theater in front of a couple thousand people

and said, nope, That is not for me. What am I doing that? I love it and I've worked with my kids too. We did a we had a reality show at one point together and I really only did that for them just so you could get a taste of it. You got to get up in the morning. You got to do this. You know, I'm going to show you what it is.

But all of them have at some point another been cast in something that I've done. My youngest daughter played my daughter in the series Monster, the Jeffrey Dahmer story. That was on Netflix. That was my real daughter. She also played a younger version in a TV show that I had called Claws. And my middle girl guessed it with me on a series

that I just did called the rookie Feds. So my son was with me on the soul, man. Like they've all at some point or another. experienced it through your lens. Uh-huh, uh-huh, you know what I mean? And so I was like, I'ma show you, but I'm not show manager. You know what I mean? And so I was like, I'ma show you. But I'm not show manager. You know what I mean?

And I'm not gonna try to run your career and tell you what you need to do. You wanna do a self-tape. I'll read with you. But I'm not calling around town to get you a job. That's your job. You know, cause when I'm dead and going, if I'm the only person who ever gave you a job,

what are you gonna do? Right. So you gotta learn it. And if you really want it, time is gonna tell. That's how I pan. Well, I was gonna ask you for a job, but now I'm not gonna. Well, you might be different.

No, I'm not. I had the experience recently of doing something that was more serious on this project and hasn't come out yet. But I was very self-conscious about it at first because it's very different. You know, if your whole life is listening for the laughs and then you've got to inhabit this other space where you've got to just actually sense if it's working or if it's not working and it's jelling.

And I'm wondering when you first were switching over, did you feel when you were doing dramatic parts, did it feel at all alien to you or is it just like a duck and water? When I first started, yes, it felt foreign to me because it was a muscle that I didn't get to exercise in my craft, you know what I mean? I could take a multi-cam script and read it in the car

at the stoplight and get to work and already have three choices, you know, leave them wanting more. You know what I mean? I'm gonna do this in front of the live audience, I'm gonna do that for this and I'm gonna give them another, you know what I mean? Because it was such an idea, but the other part I never forget, honey, let's get back to mama's. My mama told me she said, now you know what? You real funny and you got that natural. You got that. But on that drama side, you need some work. And you you don't do that too good. So here's what mama's going to do.

Oh, she said that. She said, I'm going to work overtime. Okay, to get the money, you find the best class in town. And I'm going to pay for it. Because if you're going to do it, you do it right. Well, my mother said, that's incredible. That's when I went somewhere and tried to figure it out. And I was so lucky that I found then a class

where you used to bring a VHS children that's a video tank. There were these machines. Yeah. But you could take it on. And the other is you were a big brick. That's what I heard. The whole day.

Yeah, I just, the big quarter inch, I mean, it was, it was, or three quarter inch, I think. It was a big, it was like a piece of concrete that was, that was your take. I tried it right on up in there and I would go back home and just watch it and see what I could do different and try to, you know, try to watch it. But now you can also, because you know what we look for,

we're looking for the reaction to make sure we did the bit, but you see it in the face of the crew. You see it. When you do a scene and you know if it's popping or not, when a crew is like, you know what I mean? Or they choke up, you know what I mean? They walk off, you know the... When, or they choke up, you know what I mean, they walk off, you know, when they stop eating for a second, the fried bread, you know, you got them. That's it.

That's it. When they drift away from the craft food surface table, you know, you got them. That part. Yeah, I always used to try and, I mean, this always relates more to comedy. But when I was working on anything, I would I knew that if the like if it was at a venue where there's like wait staff or anybody, if they're hanging out watching and they seem to be chuckling, that meant more to me than anything. Like I felt like, okay, these are people that aren't they're not here too laugh. They don't have to laugh. They're even have to listen. But it's a different it's a very different vibe. But yeah, it's interesting that you mentioned that with the crew, like they're people and they will pick up and they see a lot, they see every, they see people come and go.

Oh yeah. And you can see if they, if you've got them, that really means something. It means something. I'm just curious, what kind of acting classes did you take? Was, what was the, was there a certain method that you were learning or? classes did you take? Was there a certain method that you were learning or? I don't even remember the teacher or anything. I just remember taking a class where you had to bring your video tape in every week. And then they will tape you.

And then you know, watch it back and critique you and tell you all of the things. And then I just kept trying and trying and trying. And I really just felt like I wanted to get it back and critique you and tell you all of the things. And then I just kept, I just kept trying and trying and trying. And I really just felt like I wanted to get it right. And where it turned a corner for me was the series that I did on HBO called Getting On. Yeah. That was where it turned a corner because even though it was a comedy,

I guess, a workplace comedy. It's so interesting because I love the show. But it's also, it's so funny because we're in this new world now where I think it's harder and harder to label things a comedy or a drama because getting on could be really funny but also very touching and then just heartbreaking. So I don't know what you would call it, but yeah, but it was playing. I was always so broad. All of my bits, all of my stuff that I had done before that were always so broad.

And this was so small, so panesimo. So to me, it very much felt like if you play the scene for real, it's a drama. For me, you play it for real, you don't play it for the joke. And you say it with as much of a straight face, you're not waiting for the bump, you're just the lines are just rolling into the next one. And I was like, oh boy, this is, and I remember the producer coming in, he says, Hey, listen, I know you've never done anything like this before, but if you play your card, try it. You, lady, will be on the e-list.

And I thought, my God, Kathy Griffin is on the d-list. Was Lorden up? What? Do I want to be on the e-list? You'll someday maybe get up to Kathy Griffin's love. What? Do I want to be on the E-list? Ha-ha-ha-ha. You'll someday maybe get up to Kathy Griffin's love. We don't think for someone to say. The E-list, but then I find he kept talking,

and I was sitting there disabought to cry. And I was like, I eat really things. He doesn't think that much of me. And he said, because when you get nominated for that Emmy, I said, oh, E-list. E-list. Yeah, I got it now. Oh, my God. Yeah, but that was after I died in sorry.

Yeah. And he was right. You know, and I got the nomination, so he was right. Our culture just so avoids older people and so avoids, you know, and to a point where if you look at ads and you drive around you just look at magazines and everything you'd think that old people didn't even exist. And it's it's for a show to actually make the whole focus about the elderly. The elderly in that stage. So much.

That stage of life. But then also I think that's why the humor was such a relief on the show. You could create that tension and then things were that much funnier to me because you're dealing with such a third rail topic. One of my, the ladies in the show that I was in the scene with and they kept trying to yell and tell her she was talking too loud. And they said, what? And it's, it's, she's talking too loud. And I said, well, he just wants me to let you know you're talking, you know, too loud and he said, what? And it's, it's, she, tell her she's talking too loud. And I said, well, he just wants me to let you know you're talking, you know, too loud.

You can, you could talk a little softer. Oh, that comes from my years in Vogueville, dear. I was like, okay. You got that all right. That's awesome. So at last time, we talked about Vogueville. I'll tell me everything. I killed it in 1911.

Yeah. You. This latest movie that you did origin, it was based on this book, Caste. Yeah, Cast. Cast. Cast. Cast. Cast.

Cast. Cast. Cast. Cast. Cast. Cast. Cast. Cast. Cast. from cast, meaning most people thinking cast of a show or something, and that's how it's pronounced. But it's talking about this levels in society, you know? And it was this book that really talked about how calling a situation racist is really kind of almost oversimplifying it

because we all have different ways of marginalizing people. Yes. And I thought that was a really cool idea. And so Ava DeVernay turned it into this movie, which is this beautiful idea. And it's a very different kind of movie. In a lot of ways, it's not afraid to try everything

and anything to get the message across. Yeah, you know, it was so interesting because now, let's say, you know, that's a it's a very deep thought provoking film, but when Ava called me, she was like, you know, I have this movie and I wrote this part with you in mind. Who was that, by the way? Well, first of all, it's amazing. Yeah. Second of all, this is where the the wheels fell off of it though. She's like, yeah, you know, I Need you to bring some lightness and humor to it. I said to this movie. Yeah, this is the You know what I'm saying. This is a tear Jerker you want you want what do you want?

You know, and so she said, but that's why I need just a little brightness in it. And that was where we really had to trust each other. I said, well, you know what I mean? I can give you some sauce for the ribs, but it's not on the page. Yeah. You know what I mean? So I have to find it just in character. But also talk about trust. You're making a movie that is about the most electrifying, upsetting topic in the world today.

And that is really what the movie is all about and the different ways that people dehumanize and degrade each other. And then you're being asked by not just anybody, but if it diverne to, can you lighten this up a little bit? And there's no, it's not likeiverney to can you lighten this up a little bit and There's no it's not like you're doing it on stage in front of a couple thousand people who will let you know Right that you're doing it the correct way that seems terrifying to me You're gonna find out later on when it's all put together

Whether what you were doing looks right or feels somebody insensitive or off the mark But you also got to trust your gift. That's another note you can tell them kids downstairs. Trust your gift. I'm taking these from myself. I know, you need to listen to this. Who those kids? I'm writing everything down.

Yeah, trust your gift because at this point, I know my instrument and I trusted, you know what I mean? And even in the scenes where I had scenes with Angel Nuelis, our lead who did such a beautiful job in this movie, where I had to, we had to look at photographs and they were just, you know, like little pick-up scenes to get us into the scene. Like it said, we find them laughing. Well, you know me, I'm like, at what?

You know what I mean? I knew them cry through the home movie, so I know she don't got jokes. Here I come, I'm a little ready, I'm ready. So what I did was because I told her a different story every time they said action. A different make me up story. So her laughs in those moments were real.

Or genuine. Yeah, and it was like my little gift to her because you know you have suffered so much loss in this film. You know you're crying through this movie. You know, you're going, you know, traveling across the country, revisiting all of these painful parts of history. And this is the least I could do. At this night, we sat at this table

to give you a little, you know, a little relief from that. You know what I mean? And I took pride in that. I took, I said, you know, a little relief from that. You know what I mean? And that's a pride in that. I said, you know, that's my job to provide provision for the vision in this moment. And that's what it called for. It's pretty, do you ever just even take a second

and look back at your journey from you making your mom laugh to your working on? It's a really beautiful arc working on these projects now. You know, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a really beautiful arc working on these projects now. It's a crazy journey. If you look at the whole thing, because anyone can take one section, they can go and watch Origin and see you and that and go, oh, that's cool, but when you see the whole journey,

it's pretty mind-blowing. It brings tears to my eyes, you know, to be honest with you, because I'm like, it's what it says to me and what I say to my children and them kids downstairs, is that dreams come true. They absolutely come true. You know what I mean? And if you look at me, you know what I mean? You know somebody who had no background in any of it didn't know what sketch was and profiles was. And here I am still 20 some of my years later, still putting on the baby hair and the booty

from Reno 9-1-1. You know what I mean? The longest running sketch, you know, bit that has been on television. I mean, it longest running sketch, you know, that has been on television. I mean, it's mind blowing, but I feel so much gratitude for it, you know? I've always heard it was your idea to put on the prosthetic fake booty. Is that true? That's a fact because, you know, why? Because the women in my family,

I did not see them on TV. You know what I mean? Now you could buy a butt on every corner. You know what I mean? You could buy one on every corner. But then it wasn't popular to have all of the, you know what I mean? And I went to so many booty fittings like you don't even understand.

And they couldn't get it right because they were building it straight back. So I went to my girlfriend and I brought her up there who had, you know, the natural slammer jammer. And I'm like, you see, you gotta start from the hips and wrapping around. So I got the booty right here.

And it was really, I love that you brought your friend in. What was your friend's name? I don't know if I should say it. Okay. Oh, you just mean it's a compliment. But I love saying to your friend, hey, come on over here. I want your ass.

I need your ass. Get your ass over here, literally. Get your ass over here. Litterally. And you know, let me tell you something. That friend of mine, Joe's story, her butt, and my up top was how we got to look prints right in the face. We didn't have tickets to this Grammy party he was at.

And so we went around the side and there was a security guard. I said, girl, you know what to do. She started walking backwards. I started walking forwards. I was like, come on. And we walked over there. So he let us in the back door. So we get in the party.

And then we lied and said that I'm always lying to get a job, right? We lied and said she was Princess Cousin. So we go. Oh my God. The purple one was behind's cousin. So we go. Oh my God. The purple one was behind his door. So we walk up to security like, yeah, we need to get in there. She's like, I'm his cousin.

I'm like, yeah, she's his cousin. And he looked at us up and down. He said, one minute, he closes the door and goes. The door opens. It is Prince. He looked at us. And before we could take a breath, he said, nice try and close the door in our face. I said, but we have to see him. He said nice try to him. Yeah. That is so cool. And I don't even know what that had to do with the booty, but the point is, she went backwards. She went backwards to get in. But her butt, she got everything in life.

But she walked back here. We denied this card. Oh, yeah, check this out. The card works. I'm so jealous. Right. Okay. Let's talk about this.

I have famously, I have no ask. There's just nothing back there. It's a straight drop and I'm thinking I should get a prosthetic Is there something they make for me now? It's done right. You should bring a friend in who has the right butt and then have them do it I don't know. I don't know what the right way to come up with Yeah, exactly you should come I should say, I want this. But the point I was making is that that butt wasn't popular back then.

That body type, not even the butt, just the body type. You know, and I wanted to be somebody that my aunties could look at and see themselves. And so I was like, I want to look like the women in my family. And I kept to tell you, so many men met me in life after and were so disappointed that I didn't have the thing on. They were like, you lost weight. I'm like, no. I can go get it.

It's in the back of the car. Yeah, basically. Yeah, you could borrow her. Well, I don't don't they make something for men. Not just saying you could borrow the one she uses for Reno 9-1-1. Oh, maybe I can give a name for it. I did not. But you know, my prosthetic one, like I have one that I will wear

under the uniform, but the prosthetic one that I wore with the Thong Bay then suit, that one, somebody stole it. You bet they did. It was a simple check control locker somewhere. I had to die to find you where that was. I grabbed it and somebody, I'm taking on vacation. What are you gonna get?

What are you gonna do? I don't wanna talk about what I'm gonna do to it. That's my business. So you're debating my privacy right now. I'm gonna talk about what I'm gonna do to it. That's my business. So you're invading my privacy right now. I buy two airline tickets and the prosthetic ass is in the other one. And we both have a glass of champagne. And we both have a glass of champagne.

And we both have a glass of champagne. And we both have a glass of champagne. When you make yourself laugh, you're going to fall. I know, I know, I know. to fall. Come back from over there. I should be ashamed to myself. The thing is about you, and I've talked to you many times, you're always you. I mean, you've had, I don't think you're any different after all the success. You're such a real person.

You're such a force. I think that's the real gift, don't you think? When you say that's true, like, like, you're just, you haven't, I know people who've had a lot of success and they go through a machine and they kinda, I don't recognize them as much later on. You know what I mean?

I don't know if you've encountered that, but I encounter people who, but you are always you in the best way. You just like this pure, like I was in, like I was thinking about it today, like this is just going to be, we're going to have a really good time. And, and that's just from experience, just from knowing you. I haven't seen you since I got newly married though. That's right.

You got married in two, like two years ago, three now, 2020. Okay. And I married in 2020. I now. 2020. Okay. And I married in 2020. I've been seeing you since. And I don't think I've met your partner. I know you have not. Yeah.

No, you have not. You haven't met anyone I was married to. I mean, I've seen you a couple times. I mean, you know what, I've been married three times. I've seen you at least through two of them. You always made sure that everyone else was gone when you and I met, you know? Oh! My name is Nissie Nashbeth and I feel sexy about being tone and out of Ryan's friend.

You're wife is Jessica? Is that right? Yes, I don't call her my wife. Okay. I call her my husband. I love that. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Yeah.

And how did you guys meet? Oh, well, we came to know of each other in social media, but the first time we actually saw each other face to face was on a movie set. But I was married and she was in a long term relationship. So I didn't think nothing about it, you know what I mean? And then some years later, about four and a half years later, I was divorced. She was out of her long-term relationship

and we went to go eat crabs in the rest of history. Yeah. It's fun. I've seen you in interviews together and you just seem so happy. Yeah. Which makes me happy. Thank you, friends.

It's infectious. This happy thing. Yeah. It's a good time. You know, we are here for a good time, not a long time. So you got to, you know, hit your wagon or something that's going to make you happy. And so many great things that they think you've dropped

like 15 great things. Yeah. We should pull all of these in the episode and make bumper stickers. I'll see that you get 8%. That's 8%. Not gross. You're so generous.

I'm a really, really good guy. You wanna see that. Well, I can't thank you enough for coming by. This has been, this has been a good one. Like a shot in the arm. You know, having you as a friend is a big deal. So thank you. You better know it.

Say that louder for the people in the back. You don't say that for those people in the back. Say that for those kids down the hall. I had security throw them out about half an hour ago. I thought they've got it too good. Well, thank you so much for being here. And all I wish for you is more happiness and keep spreading your joy.

Keep doing your thing. I sure will. Thank you so much. And please, please lend me the prosthetic ass. Because no one's ever needed it more than me. Anything for you. Yeah, tailors are shocked when they try and fit pants on me. They're like, there's literally nothing back here. Thank you so much.

A number of weeks back, you really laid into play about how he was dressed, right? And if you'll remember, we asked him to come back looking his best in a formal suit. And a sober agentoman as he could possibly be. Yeah, I do think there's a generation that's lost its way and they're always wearing ironic t-shirts and kooky watches and bucket hats and they're not kids anymore. Bucket hats.

Yeah, you know what I mean? Just the whole, Blaze worked with me for a very long time. I knew him when he was a kid and when his attire was appropriate. But for his own sake, I thought it'd be nice if he just took a chance on dressing up in play. Here you are. And I have to say you look fantastic.

Wow. I don't like this. What do you mean? That looks, I think you look awesome. You look very handsome, but this is not, this is not everyday play. Well, okay. As you know him, but if you only knew Daniel Craig is a guy that wore, if I only knew Daniel Craig. If you keep your nighttime fantasies out of my show. If we only knew Daniel Craig is a guy who wore cargo pants

and who farted T-shirt, and then he suddenly dressed as James Bond one day, you might feel like, I don't know about this. But look at you look good. Thank you, thank you. I don't feel about this. But look at you look good. Thank you, thank you. I don't feel good. Why? I feel weird, man.

I feel, first of all, I like to be fashionable and I like to be comfortable. There's too many clothes on. I'm wearing too much clothes. Really? Well, there's an undershirt. Then there's this shirt. Oh, I didn't say we're an undershirt.

Oh, all right. Who made you wear an undershirt? Well, this is what you wear when you dress up. You wear a suit. You don't have to, I know, but you don't have to wear an under shirt. Yeah, this is not blight. This is not the blight. I feel like you're about to drive me to the airport.

Thank you. Look, look, I don't want to, I got nice shoes on. Look at these shoes. What a normal watch. I got a Rolex. I got a Rolex. Wait a minute. Where did you get the, wait a minute.

It was a birthday present from my mom. Yeah, a little role. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Stop the show. Okay. Your mother on your birthday gave you a Rolex. She president. Yeah. What the hell? Well, because she knows I like watches and my mother on my birthday would make me a poached egg.

You're making me a lot of money. I always make fun of my watches. And so, and so I thought I wear a nice watch. Because you always wear watches where it's a joke. The watch costs $3. It's bright yellow. It's made of marshmallow. It doesn't tell time.

It's from Japan. Nuclear reactor thing. You got to count up the minutes. Whatever. Yeah, and it's high as the funny I can't tell time. Yeah, okay, thank you. But your mother gave you a room. Yeah, for me.

For your birthday, it's a nice birthday. She gave me a nice, a nice, a nice, a nice, thank you, but your mother gave you a Yeah, for your birthday. It's nice birthday. She gave me a nice nice at my whole point being This is me dress nice and I think you look great. I don't think I don't see a problem I came in today every single person looked at me weird Ever was like like that. No, first of all everyone thinks I'm either going to a funeral or presiding over a few well first of all or or You're actually the body Or you look like they just popped the casket just gave it one last check to make sure if this guy's really gone Oh, yeah, he's dead. All right. I don't like you neutered him Yeah, I know you neutered Blake. I think first of all where did you get the suit? I got the suit

I think in macy's okay. All right. Well, it looks good. It's a nice black suit. It's a classic. Thank you. Now, I'm just going to say, it's all right. We're all watching a macy suit. Well, it's it's it does say made with recycled polyester on the inside. But it's my jave jave for our classic jave. Okay. Well, there's my boy. You didn't say I have to wear a nice suit. You just said a suit. That's a nice suit. Yes, it's a nice suit. It's recycled. It's recycled, which you. Yes, it's a nice suit. It's recycled. It's recycled, which makes plain way. It doesn't feel terrific. Okay.

It's because you're wearing 800 liquefied bottles on your back. It is very hot. The suit is very warm. Okay. Well, you chose to wear an undershirt. That's on you. Okay. And can I tell you something? There are ways to dress well.

Okay. And earn the respect and of people around you without going this far. I mean, you don't have to wear a tie. You don't have to wear a button up. We told him to come in as formal as possible, though, in his defense. Well, we wanted to go the other end of the spectrum. Yes, yes. And I am just saying that I want you to consider you're not a kid anymore. Right. Okay. I think I looked it up.

I think you were born in 1956. It's close. Yeah. No, no, how old are you? 45. Okay. You're 45. Yeah.

You're not a child. Right. And I do sometimes look at you and think, oh, you're, you've got the Peter Pan syndrome. You're still dressing as a child. And maybe that's going to influence your life negatively. Maybe potential partners may not take you seriously. Right. You go into a club. They're going to say, that's going to influence your life negatively. Maybe potential partners may not take you seriously, go into a club. They're going to say, uh, what's going on with this guy? Right. You know, why is he at the club?

Why is every this guy? He has Peter Pan. Yeah. Well, but can I just want to wear at the club? But I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I club down in our house. I feel like I don't want to give some a potential partner a False bill of sale and false false good like they know what they're getting right You know what they're you know what I you know, it's like I and they might like Japanese watches I don't want to I don't want to track someone who thinks I have more than one nice watch You can still wear those goofy funny watches watches where, oh, look, it's a watch, but guess what? I have no idea what time it is. Right.

Because it has no hands. It just has a face that cries sometimes. I do have one that you can tell the time by feeling out. What's that Adam? Part of the conversation last time was also around, you know, looking professional in the workplace. Oh, right. So that's one thing I think, I think you do look really good.

And there have been studies that say, you know, if you dress for the job, you perform better. Yes. You like lose the stress of wondering what, people who wear uniforms often perform better, I think, because they're, they're like not looking at what other people are thinking about with their own eyes. I've always liked in show business when people took show business seriously and dressed up when they came on a talk show.

I always thought that was kind of nice. And I think we have an environment here at our company. People are coming in. They know that Conan O'Brien is going to be here. Oh no. No, but do you know what I mean? There's an expectation that people will dress up. This is like the comedy Vatican. No, oh my god

I understand what I mean. I'm just not not that I'm insane, but like me being the Pope Terranical figures with only And then you guys No, no, I'm voice of God on earth and then you guys are like Swiss guards. You know, you're there and you're holding your pikes and And then you guys are like Swiss guards, you know, you're there and you're holding your pikes. And you're not even like bishops or, oh god, no. No, you're just standing outside with those goofy axes that no one's used in over 800 years.

But play, I'm just, I think that Adam brings up a good point, which is when you dress the way that you dress, you're just going to have goofy ideas. You're just going to want ideas, you're just gonna want to go eat a burrito, you're just gonna go want to grab your, you know, your Wii controller, Nintendo Switch, gum gum, and play your game of Glorgar. And all this sounds great though. No, no, no, but, but you know, this doesn't sound like an argument. You're also, I'm agreeing with you.

That sounds all that sounds I like to do all those things. Oh right, but dress like someone who commands my respect Wait, can I say something though? Yeah, I think what Adam saying is right if you work at like an accountant's office But if you work for the circus, right which we do which this really is an absurd place the lion tamer is very well dressed The ringmaster is very well dressed. Trapi's artists in their own way are quite elegant. In fact, most people at the circus are very nicely dressed in their own costumes.

Let's say your job is to pick up poop, like you're a civil worker and you pick up poop. You're not going to dress up in a suit when you're picking up poop. You dress up... But you wear uniforms. You still wear uniforms. Okay, let's do this.

Someone who's picking excrement from the sidewalk as they're living. And by the way, I'm not putting that job down. That's a real job. Yeah, that's my job is on this hard. I'm saying, I'm saying that there are certain environments that have certain qualifications. How about this? How about this? Not dressing up and wearing a suit and a tie.

But Adam, as the head, Hanjo here, the overlord, the scheming monster, the man behind the mask. We get it. He's a bishop. Yeah. I look at Adam, I look at Adam Sacks

and I say, Bishop material. Yeah. Uh-huh. But what I'm saying is, what about like boiler suits that say team cocoa on the back? What you want to mean? Do you want to be like coveralls? Hold on.

Not hold on. No, that's bullshit. Hold on. What I'm saying is something akin to that. Like what they were to a nuclear power plant. Yeah. Doctors, nurses, they were uniforms. What about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what about, what No, you want to be a bond villain and you want to learn those like the army of coveralls and hard hats and Yes, yes, I do. I would like it if everyone at Wardo if we came up with something that was kind of cool

Would you be up for wearing it here at team coke? I'd be up for it I'm on team Conan on this because it would be nice and look at the way I listen I I used to sell man suits for a living at Mason's actually, but that was six months ago. Yeah. That's what I, I do believe it's important to dress to impress whenever possible now. And all I'm saying is, and you know, look, I love the shirt

you're wearing. It looks fantastic. A cranberry t-shirt that's been overwashed. You have good memories from college. You're like, you killed a mechanic. And then... Not at all. This is a... K-Mom, do us wife.

What's wrong? I'm home, honey. What are you talking about? I know. Is your collar popped up? I know. Like make a decision. Make a decision. Like, what is it? Look, I think I look fantastic. And I'll tell you something else. I look like I could be a film director.

No, I could be a director on a film. You're dressed like Lenny from a Mice and Men. Yeah, well, I just want to see the rabbits. No, your blues are too close. Okay, listen, I like to wear blue because it makes the old peepers pop and it's, and work for Sinatra and I think it's working pretty well for me. Before we go, Adam, I do think I want to pursue this idea.

I want to see if we can find something that the men and the women are all okay with wearing that's a kind of a standard uniform. I would. And then I want us, the cameras to be rolling when we break this to Andy Richter. And we watch him physically beat the shit out of it. Well, that's interesting. Yeah. There's a standard host carb. Like, yeah, I will wear something consistently as a bond villain does the bond villain, you know, like a naru jacket. Like, yeah, I would wear like a naru jacket and not have like a fake white

cap that I've had. But then you guys would do it for that. But I do think there's something that we should investigate. There might be a great way. And also what about like young people that are just starting out here working in here and their brand new employees? Maybe they have to wear the boiler suit, but then there's a, then there's a, it's like the army. Then there's a rank above that.

I see. But we wear a uniform. I'm starting to get on with this. Yeah. Oh, I'm not. Okay. Well, go ahead. John Wick You know how like the people that work. Yes, the patching the telephone calls. Yes. They have a style and the continental has the Tillings. I love. I mean, I love the John Witt films. I would first of all, you're dressed a lot, John Wick right now. And that's why I think it looks Cool. I love the John Wick. I see. So what we're talking about is like tears.

Tears, the utilitarian people, the administrative, the talent, and they're all thematically linked, but they have their own specific look. Are you into it now? I'm getting there. Okay. And this would be paid for by the company. You would come in, you would,

you wouldn't leave in your uniform. You'd come here and change into your uniform. We'd have lockers. And we'd change into them. And I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. We'd change into them. And so now you would have to go to your locker

and change your clothes. I don't want to do that. Well, you're going to do it and I'm going to be there when it happens. Oh, God. Right, honestly, I lost it. No, honestly, no, no, no, you won't see me there. There'll be a window. There'll be a window that only I'm allowed to look through. And again, I don't, I don't read the papers much

and I don't go my line much, but I don't see any problem in today's society with me having a little peaky window. Oh, God. Anyway, Adam, get on this. All right. Ted Warnos in. All right. I was gonna go through the roof. We're gonna figure it out. I took a class in college on costume design.

So we can, I can, I can work some things on. You know what? Guess what? If Goryle is in, I, I'm, I don't want to do anything to dissuade Matt Goryle. I want you in on this. So yes, you can have Final Say. I promise. Final Say.

OK, done. I'm in. Are you kidding? Well, looks like I did it. We win. Uh. Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonom of Sessian, and Matt Gourley, produced by me, Matt Gourley,

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