Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Off To The Ice Follies

Episode Date: July 20, 2023

Conan talks to boxing instructor Terri from Atlanta about fight promotion and working as an undercover police officer before running through a practice drug sting.

Hi, Terry. Welcome to Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Hello, how are you doing? Hi, Conan. Hey, Terry, how are you? I'm good. I'm good. All right, you are coming to us, Terry, from a gym, and I'm told it's a boxing gym. This is your gym. Yes, my gym. Boxing gym, yeah. Yeah, and I can see it behind you. I'm going to go to the gym.

I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go from a gym and I'm told it's a boxing gym. This is your gym. Yes, my gym. Boxing gym. Yeah, and I can see it behind you. Very impressive. Looks very much like a gym where one would box. So your story so far shakes out. You get an A. Yeah. So, do you teach boxing and you're also a promoter of fights? Is that correct? Yes, I do. I've been doing that for quite a while, the promotions, but I train fighters and run a gym.

It's an interesting career. And it's called Buckhead Fight Club. Is this Buckhead in Georgia? Yeah, it's kind of like the Atlanta financial district. Sure. We're also on an area that's really diverse. So we got all the great ethnic foods here plus all the money. Terrific.

You thought this all out. I know Atlanta bit because for many years I worked for Turner based in Atlanta. Oh yeah. And I did some shows in Atlanta and really love that city. It's an amazing place, incredible place. Now tell me, I'm kind of interested because I don't know much about fighting, but I'm curious about it. I know it's an amazing exercise.

I mean, if you're really boxing, you exhaust yourself in about, I do in about 30 seconds. It's an incredibly tough workout. It's a full-body workout. But also, I like the idea of learning the science of boxing. Is that something you think you could teach me? Oh, yeah, for sure. Definitely. Talk to me about. It's a science thing to know. Okay, talk to me about what do you need to know about me, to know about my potential as a boxer. Well, you're already tall, which definitely helps. Why does that help? For people that are really tall, well, it's kind of like if you're playing baseball and

you got a little bit of short bat or you got a long bat, you know, the ball is going to go further with a long bat. Yeah, yeah. So it actually has more power. Some tall people are slow though, but I don't think you're slow. No, no, no, I've got very fast, which muscles. Everything about me is fast, quick. And so I think I would have a quick, powerful punch.

Oh, that makes it hard. Yeah, that makes it a hard punch. Now, what about the hand-eye coordination? Is that important? It is important. Well, this is over. Conversation is done. It's conversation is done. It's been nice talking to you.

No, so hand-eye coordination, very important. I could probably develop that. I could get better at it. Yeah, and then... Candy Crush or something. I would love... You don't have a love. I would love a rocky montage where he wakes up breaks an egg into a glass and

he'd say and then goes and plays candy crush to the same music. And then he's playing candy questions. He slowly goes up the steps to that museum or library in Philadelphia. So what else? I mean, I've got I've got some muscle mass on me, you know, I can put on some I can put on some muscle Well, we say in boxing, you know, never judge a book by its cover. So you can have all the muscle in the world And you could be horrible or you can have no muscle and be amazing It really doesn't matter about the muscle You know usually when people look at me and say well, don't judge a book by its cover, I get insulted, but I'm deciding not to now.

I'm deciding to take that as a compliment. That's a compliment. Yeah, how long would it take me to learn to be a pretty decent fighter, do you think? How old do you now? I just turned 60. It takes a little time. I just turned 60.

Okay, I would probably give it a few years. Yeah. Well, I only have a few years. I only have a few years. So he's 64 before he even knows how to box it all. Well, there are, you know, nowadays, I mean, boxing's changed so much. You know, Jake Paul and Tik Tok fighters,

and now there's the thing where you can just slap somebody. You know, there's like a four, you just slap them and see if you knock them out. I just want to slap people and I want it to be, I want to be slapping people. I want to slap people, but they can't slap me back. I'm just slapping Adam in the middle of the way. I just want to be like a 17th century dandy

with the white gloves. Let's slapping. Yeah, you get it in the mug too. Exactly, Terry. I want to have some gloves that I take off and I slap them with the gloves. Yeah. And then my henchmen and bodyguards move in and I'm protected.

You want to challenge people to a duel But then never have the doors. Yeah, thank you Want to do the old That's the best yeah, is that any way effective? How come that went away? Why did that go away? Yeah? Why did that old time? I did it in SNL sketch once I I was obsessed with the mold. I see all the light irish boxes. Yeah, like this. So what is, what was, is that a, if a modern boxer, if a modern boxer went into the rings and thought, Floyd Mayweather and was using that style, what would happen? He would probably not last too long. But you know what that's from,

is like boxing used to be different. Especially in Europe, they would do like point scoring. So it wasn't about knocking people out. It was about how many points you can touch in. Like sensing. So that's how they would box, you know, it was about touching. Yeah, I had a Hungarian fighter

when Tom told me he had like a thousand amateur fights. I'm like, I would be dead by now. But he said, no, Mike Tyson ruined boxing, you know, with all the power shots and knocking people out and see Americans, we kind of changed it honestly. But before that, it was like, you could box like that. Yeah, no, before Mike Tyson came along, I was feared. All right.

And then he came along and changed everything. Now, so have you been a boxing promoter and trainer your whole career? Is this something you've devoted your life to? No, well, I did fight too before I did all that stuff. So I used to be a law enforcement, so I was a drug investigator. And then I stumbled into boxing and just kind of left everything behind for that. But yeah, I had a different career partner, you said you were a drug investigator. Does that mean that you were?

What were you doing exactly? Were you in an office or were you out on the streets trying to investigate these drug related crimes? Well, yeah, like, you know, you'd work undercover. Well, you worked undercover. Oh, yeah. Wait a minute. That's badass. That's incredible.

You worked undercover. And so tell me about that Did you wear Hawaiian shirts and draw tattoos on and walk around and go and I'm yeah Yeah, you more like has to look like a hip-hop person. Oh, okay. Yeah. No, I think you'd be shot immediately by the dealers and the police and some and some bystanders. Hey friends, we can all get along. Let's not take drugs. Every different priest would shoot you.

Everyone would be shooting at you. Little children would be shooting at you. I have a couple. So, Terry, was that ever scary going undercover and dealing with drugs? Sometimes, I remember one time I had a wig on and some I said, get that wig off, and they knew I was the police,

and then another time when, like the first time that I bought, I was trying to buy some drugs, I was trying to buy meth, and the guy that we were buying it from, he was like shooting it while we were talking to him, and he was like, you have to do it, you know, we're not gonna sell it, I'm fine.

Oh wow. What are you doing in that situation? Can you pretend to take it? Like, can you have to do it. You know, we're not going to sell it. Oh, wow. What are you doing that situation? Can you pretend to take it? Like, can you pretend doing judges? What do you, what did you do? You can't really. I just said I couldn't. I was like, oh, I got to go to work. But for you man, they were stories. Yeah. It was like, it's like, no, no, you know, you're the cop. So that, but it's, it was just something. So the two, one one you just told us two stories were immediately people knew You weren't legit. This is why I'm guessing that's why you changed careers

I mean first of all was your wig on like halfway And did have a string around the chin that was holding it on I mean sell that excuse me my pardon me my swig is falling off Surely temple wig That's hilarious I'm so sad that, excuse me, my pardon me, my swig is falling off. Maybe they make a chance again. Surely, Temple Wig. That's hilarious. First of all, I have a lot of respect for people to put themselves out there like that. And so mad respect for that. But also to have transitioned into this field where you're confident you can take an old broken down Conan O'Brien and turn them into a lethal machine within

what, three years? No, I mean, really, I can't just say it. I could probably put you on a good show in like three months. Okay. What? You could do a white collar boxing show. Oh, so that means I'm fighting business men? Yeah, what is that?

Yeah. Tell me what a white collar fight is. Is this like fight club? What's happening? Yeah. Well, not quite. That's a little bit rougher than a white club stuff. But so along to like in 2010, I started promoting a boxing show.

It's like a charity show where business people would raise money, they'd box each other, raise money for charity, and it would be a lot of business people boxing, but it would be like an amateur fight. So, but it could be any level. You can be an amateur in fight in three months. Okay, but I like this idea of fighting like Warren Buffett.

Oh, people, yeah, I wanna fight very wealthy, old billionaires. Yeah. And just I mean, people that are way too old to be fighting. Yeah, I want to I want to fight very wealthy old billionaires. Yeah. And just I mean, people that are way too old to be fighting. Yeah. I'll fight Warren Buffett. Yeah. Rupert Murdock. I'll take on Rupert Murdock. People just staring death in the face already. Yeah. Exactly. And every time I hit them hundreds of thousands of dollars falls out of their shorts. Every time I hit my butt it. I'm going to punch his money. Yeah. Yeah. And be the silver you off from it. You know, it's funny. Yeah. Put me in a cage fight where I can punch, but I also want to be able to slap. And it's me versus all billionaires.

And the billionaires have to be over 85. Yeah. And they, you can just slap them. What if you still lost though? Oh, trust me. You cut, cut you Warren Buffett cleaning my cloth, just holding me by the throat and pounding my face and me shrieking. And then he leaves and gets that hamburger he eats every day. Wow, this is a, you're, you're a quite an impressive person. I have to tell you that. Oh, well, it's just a fun job, really. Yeah. Exciting. And how did you come to hear about our podcast?

Did you just start listening to it or? Oh, yeah. I've been following for a while, but especially during COVID, that's when you guys carried me through. So everyone on you. We hear that from a lot of people. I love that one. Oh, he was great.

Yeah. I've been following you guys for a while. And I watch you show, you know, when you were on the late night television, I watched all that. Well, thank you. I'm following you forever. Thanks a lot. Do you think, I know you could make him a boxer,

but do you think you could make him an undercover narcotics officer? You could totally do that. You have to buy like cocaine at a nightclub. Oh, I could do that. Well, he, here's a problem. In a nightclub. Here's the problem. At a nightclub. Oh, I could do that. Oh, he, here's a problem. In a nightclub. Here's the problem.

At a nightclub. People already think, always think I'm wearing an ill-fitting wig. And that's my real hair. So I think I get a lot of that. But I mean, that would be the question is, could I go undercover or do you think there's too much of a danger that I'd be recognized? Maybe you could go undercover. I think you might be recognized.

I think you're, you're, you're, you're Conan, but they don't know that you're working for the man. Like when Elvis was working for... That's right. They would just think it's cool. It'd be real easy for you to get the buy. I don't know. Even if you weren't famous, you've got a narkey kind of thing about you. You sure do. You're very narkey. Yeah.

Do I think kind of narkey to you? I mean, definitely. Terry, I know what I mean, that in a drug trade way, because you were a narg for a long time. So, do I have a narkey vibe? You know. Thank you. Thank you, Terry.

Thank you, Terry. You just got narc, you got narc by a narc. I watched the video of you with ice cube and you guys were taking the intern to get our license. Yep, yep. Yeah, Kevin Hart and I was thinking you were a narc in that. You're gonna rat him all out. Yeah, I think.

Kevin and I and I skew both thought I was a narc too. I want to hear this. Terry, could you be a drug dealer and coning your undercover and you're going to try to buy drugs from Terry. Okay, I'll try that. Are you ready to roleplay this Terry? All right, you're a drug dealer, okay? You're in Atlanta? Yeah.

And you're in a tough section of town, okay? Right. What's your name? I don't give out a name. Ooh, nice. Well, my name is Pierre. Oh, no. Oh, man.

I'm here for the math. I gotta have some math. I'm here for what'm here for the math. I got to have some math. I'm here for what's known as the math. Do you have math? I have it. You have math. Okay. I have.

Now legally, it's only a crime if it exchanges hands and I give you money. Is that right? Right. And legally, you can only, you can only bust, I can only, well, I forgot where he works. You can only buy it from me if you're not the cops. If you're not the cops, are you the cops? Well by cops, do you mean those flat feet? Do you mean those guys that ride around in the cherry tops a

Terry who's this guy who's your friend? Oh, hello? How what's your name my name's the the my name's knuckles name knuckles? What is stupid 1940? We say for a name really I'm knuckles the third it was my grandpa's name all right. Well, that's usually a name that's passed down I'm talking to this dealer here, this lovely woman who says she won't give her name. And she's asking if five, one of them, five, one of those flat feet, you know, some bad sounds like bacon. You got to try the drugs if you want the drugs.

I'll try any metharu you have on you. Take this, it's in a silly straw. I can't approve it. Okay, I'll prove it. I'll take that stuff right now. Whereas it, in a silly straw. I can't approve it. Okay, I'll prove it. I'll take that stuff right now. Whereas I don't, here it is. I'm very good. I'll just open this packet.

And I'll just take out what I'm carrying, which is- So far this checks out. Two pieces of Ezekiel bread. These are bread made with all the seeds that are in the Old Testament. This guy's breath. This guy's breathing.

Spreading it out onto the first level. There we go. I'm one piece than the other piece, and I have myself a little mess sandwich this. Hi, high on rough hair. Hey Pierre, you want to join our gang? Well, maybe I will, maybe I won't. You're gonna eat the mess.

Tonight I'm in the ice folly, so I'm a little busy. Chop, chop, chop. He's cool, Terry, you could tell Amy checks out. What do you think, Terry? I'm so old.. Chomp, chomp, chomp. He's cool, Terry, you could sell him, he checks out. What do you think, Terry? He's so awesome. All right, now I've bad news for you. I am a four-amission flat foot. No, you got me, you got me up.

I've never been so impressed. Here, Mike. I don't have those cool handcuffs, just these crappy ties they use now. Those are glad bag ties, I don't really work. All right, no backup. No, I don't really work. You have no backup. No, I know backup. You're about three to go.

Hey, are you calling a bro? What are you calling a bro? Knuckles, I don't know. Knuckles help me out here. Knuckles seem, something doesn't seem right about Knuckles. Here, hop on my tandem bicycle. Let's get out of here. Oh good.

It's a bicycle built for three. Let's all get out of here. Ring us one of those ice follies? Yes, up to the eyes, Folly. Ring, ring, ring, ring. Terry, this was the stupidest 15 minutes of your life I'm guessing in the last couple of years. And you have us to work.

It's funny, I actually did one time, when I bought drugs from somebody, they asked me if I was law enforcement. I said, no, they said, are you the police? I'm like, no, they said, because I heard a few, if you're the police, and you ask them, and they say, no, they can't charge you. I'm like, I said, no, they said, are you the police? I'm like, no, they said, because I heard a few, if you're the police, and you ask them and they say, no, they can't charge them. Like, I'm not the police.

Because is that true or is that just a TV myth? No, it's not true. I saw them in court and I was like, guess what? Oh, Terry, do you get what I would have said? Yeah, I would have said, they told us at the academy that I'm not that I can deny it and it's still not a problem. Teri, off we go. I've always wondered how nervous do you get before a sting? Oh, when I, you know, early on, I'd get real nervous.

We'd be like 10 guys in a big van to go to a search warrant with like helmets and riot gear. I'll be like, everybody's just drinking their coffee. You know, I would be a little nervous. But after years, you're not so nervous anymore. You just turn your coffee and waiting. Wow. You know, I can't. In the car while we play like violin music. Yeah. No, I can. It's a lie. I can relate because, you know, sometimes I'd, you know, like, an outroker would be on

the show. No, not the same. But it's not the same. So we got to talk about weather. it's like I interviewed him before. Not the same. But it's not the same. So we got to talk about weather, the Thanksgiving day parade, but I have to get up for it. So I'm sitting there with my side keg, and we're drinking coffee. They're singing to even compare the two. Yeah, well, I'm just saying that both of us in a way have put ourselves on the line.

One has, and one has it. Well, one with real danger, and one more communically, which is in some ways more dangerous. Teri, it was really nice talking to you. And seriously, thank you so much for being a fan and you seem like a very cool person. And I would love to get some tips someday, because I get some school. You look like two bugs.

Like tall guys, good at boxing. All right, I'm gonna do it. Really good. I'm in. Okay, thank you, Terry. Look out Warren Buffett. My pleasure. Bye.

Konan O'Brien needs a fan with Konan O'Brien, Sonan Mufsessian, and Matt Gourley, produced by me, Matt Gourley, executive produced by Adam Sachs, Nick Liao, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Year Wolf, Incidental Music by Jimmy Vivino. Supervising producer Aaron Blair, Associate Talent Producer Jennifer Samples, Associate Producer Sean Doherty and Lisa Berm, Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien, Needs friend on Apple podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded. you