Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Olivia Munn

Episode Date: May 25, 2026

Actress Olivia Munn feels so excited and amazed about being Conan O’Brien’s friend.   Olivia sits down with Conan to discuss accidentally creating core memories for her kids, breaking the family mold by pursuing acting, and advocating for breast cancer awareness and early detection after her own diagnosis. Later, Conan tests his modern slang while he and his team Review the Reviewers.   Breast Cancer Lifetime Risk Assessment: https://magview.com/ibis-risk-calculator/ Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/conan. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hi, my name is Olivia Munn. Is that how you pronounce it? Yeah, my... And I feel so excited and amazed about being Conan O'Brien's friends. That's so sweet. Yeah. ...allies here, hear the yell, back to school, ring the bell, brand new shoes, walking loose, climb the fence, books and pens, I can tell that we are going to be friends.

You're going to need friends. Hey, everybody. Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. This is a very good day because I'm joined, of course, by Sonam of Sessian. Yes. But today marks the return, the heroic return of our good friend and associate, Matt Goreley. Hey. Come on, guys. I like the heroic part.

Just fine. We've missed you. I've missed you. I've missed you guys. Seriously. Yeah. We've missed you. and just to update everybody, you've been on a paternity leave for, no, no, no, I only, I only bring it up because I think it's a world record. It says, you know, no, your daughter was born, I believe, eight years ago.

She's a freshman in college. Oh, how's she doing? Oh, she's great. She's great. No, you've been out for a little while. You've been out for a couple of months. I did. I took a little extended one, and it was the greatest thing. It was fantastic. I mean, I missed you guys. I did. But man. Well, how's it going? Bring us up to date. It's trying really well.

I was able to spend a lot of time with my older daughter, which, you know, was kind of magical. And then my youngest daughter has just fit right in. And, you know, not to get too sentimental, but sometimes when you have those moments in your life that you know to be the best moments, but you only know it after they're done. This was one I could tell when I was in that it was just amazing. It's really nice. I'm happy that you had that. And also resentful, that you took so much time. Let me tell you something.

Well, part of the happiness was I wasn't here. Yeah, exactly. When my daughter was born, I took 20 minutes. And when my son was born, I took four. Now, let me also just add to that. I'm a terrible father and an awful human being. So, yes, am I saying this is the way to go? You could have asked for some time.

I could have asked for some time. Yeah. That was on me. I think I took a, it was a commercial break. We were doing the late night show. The best part is he didn't even have to ask for time, could have just told people he's taking time. Yeah, exactly.

I know. I want to say something, though, about your paternity leave real quick. It feels like you kept releasing other podcast episodes. Yes. It feels like you took a break only from us. Yes, I didn't. And you were still doing all your other podcasts. I recorded those all before the baby was born.

Not true. Two story. You can hear two kids crying in the background, unless one of them's your wife having a nervous breakdown. And you often referred to the day's news as you were. I held up a newspaper during each recording. Yeah, as you were hosting, Mulwocken. You were, you know, I mean, first of all.

You. We might do baby walking. Oh. No, listen, I understand those are more, those are priority shows. I didn't record them. All I did was watch World War II movies and dirty hairy movies with my baby while I held her. I think that's the best thing for a little baby girl to be hearing. He was into it.

Make my day, punk. And lots of people getting blowed up. It was a great thing for a little forming brain. It was heaven for me. As that font nail is starting to seal. It was pulsing. It's pulsing. It's crazy.

All right. I have some questions. Yeah. How is your youngest daughter's name is? You talking about Mel the smell? Oh, I thought you were going to go. So, Nell. Nell, yeah.

How is Nell different? She is night and day different than my first daughter. My first daughter is this wonderful tempest, like, just so funny. So crazy. Nell just came out, smile. Every time you see her, just a big smile, she just sits there. She's a wonderful little lump on the log.

So we got one of each, which kind of magnifies their differences in such a wonderful way. I don't know. It's, I just feel great. I feel lucky. Yeah. Yeah.

And first of all, you have, you came in, you seem very happy. You've got that kind of, doesn't he not have a glow. You do have a glow. Well, I birthed the children. Oh, did you now?

It's the postpartum glow. Okay. That sounds fun. Yeah. That's why he has. such a long paternity leave. Yes. He did say, when we were sitting around earlier, he did say that,

I forget to rephrase it, this time around he gained a little more weight than the first time. And we were like, for your pregnancies? I was trying to explain and now you're going to make me, I read some. I wonder about why your body changed. I want to hear about this. No, I'm glad Adam brought this in because you're a big fat fuck now. I mean, you're all listening,

but when you waddled in today... I put on 10 pounds. Isn't that crazy? Waddled in. 10? Hello. Oh, no. I think...

I don't know. I had read somewhere that... Oh, you're still going down this road. It's okay. Yeah, go ahead. I want to hear it. I hate to do this kind of, because what if this is just bullshit?

All right. But that there is this evolutionary sort of process to it. Men in postpartum. that they lose testosterone temporarily, and it's a kind of thing to keep them historically tied to the mother and child. From straying, yeah.

From straying. And it's a kind of thing that that has evolved over time and the survival of those fittest people because the father was there with the child and the mother. So I'm curious, how does this relate to you gaining weight?

Well, that can be some sympathy weight gained because of the loss of testosterone, apparently. You also walked in, he's got huge breath. now. You have huge lactating breasts and you're a big fat fuck. And I don't mean either of those in a derogatory way. No, no. No, no. Big fat fuck with tiddies. But when you waddled when you waddled in waddled in here wearing his his de cup, I was. I did come in. I'm really the podcast. But so you gained some weight, but you still look good. Thanks. I don't feel good. Do you think, do you feel like your testosterone levels had dropped?

You mean am I out there just hounding it? Pounding it? Let me see. Pound, is it pound in it, though? No, I tend to hound. Okay. All right. Hounding it. Pounding his creditors for more time. Yeah, that's what I mean. Oh, I'm hounding it all right. You're doing what? I don't. I think so. I mean, I've been certainly been like a sentimental mess in a sort of like good way. Just every single thing knocks me down in a like kind of sweet way.

That's nice. Well, I don't think I've ever had. I was going to say, did you, do you feel like your testosterone dipped? No? Well, first of all. No, after your kids were born. I'm not asking her and Steve.

My mother-in-law, Pam, God rest her soul, she did say I remembered once sort of talking about how I think I've grown wiser over the years. I'm not as intense as I used to be. I was very focused and very driven in my 20s and 30s and 40s. And I said, I think I'm maturing. And she just, you know, she was an expert in these matters. And she just said, no, no, no, your testosterone level has dropped.

Like, I was trying to credit it all to wisdom. And she was like, no, no, you just have less of that, you know, asshole juice running through your body. See, I went through a male pregnancy. He went through menopause. Yeah. I did. Oh, that's nice. Yeah.

I don't think that I got the sentimentality. I'm waiting for that part. You know, I don't get all mushy. You don't really ever? I do. When it comes to your kids especially. No, just when I see old clips of late night. Oh.

I'm like, ah, look at him with Al Roker. 1994. No, no, I do. I do. Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm just saying stuff. But I think, but yeah, I'm, but yeah, I'm. I am very, first of all, very glad you're back.

Oh, I'm glad to be back. Yeah. Because you are a very important voice here on this show, as you know. And I say that with with no ridicule or jokes attached to it. Or seriousness. Or seriousness or real honesty. Yeah. No, but we're really happy.

I'm so glad to be back. I did miss you guys. I edited the show while I was gone. So it was really interesting to hear you guys to kind of feel like I was there in a one way sort of way. Were you ever coming at me? Were you ever coming in? with your panted crips, but then realizing that you were just listening to us

and you couldn't participate. Of course. And I don't have any actual cash with me, but I'm making a $100 bill that I would like to send to Eduardo for his Lil Bitch, put you in your place. Yay. That's right.

Well, that was an iconic moment in the podcast. It was. When Eduardo called me a little bitch. And you know what? Some people say our country is terribly divided. Unified the country. Yeah. Everyone.

I don't care if you're a. Red state, blue state, you know, Trumper, never Trumper. Everyone said, yes, that guy's a little bitch. Yeah. It was a beautiful moment in America. It was a really sweet moment. Everybody in the country listening to little bitch and big fat fuck with dem tities. Yeah, big fat fuck with dem tides.

We bring people together. Yeah. With our special brand of the truth. Can we give a very special thank you to David Hopping for having covered for chorals? David was fantastic because I edited and I, I, at a time was just like, they don't need me. He's great.

You know what I mean? No, we need you. No, he was great. I won't have, I mean, David, I can take in small doses. And you know,

I love David. Yeah. But he works Hillary Duff into every conversation. And I, listen, I like Hillary Duff. Gladly have her here on the pod.

Yes. Yeah. Whenever we clear up whatever legal thing we have between us. But, but yeah, he is so obsessed with Hillary Duff.

Can I just shout out? in all honesty, my wife, who did all the work, obviously, for all of us. She's been amazing. And so Amanda? The two girls, yeah. Yeah. Amanda, your wife, very beautiful, very talented. You're a lucky man.

I am. Man, you're lucky. Yeah, okay. Well, hold on. Jesus. You've got lucked out. Well, I'm just saying. It's kind of creepy the way you're saying.

I'm just saying when he said, oh, you got to meet my wife. When he said, you got to meet my wife, I thought I was going to be like a broom with a face painted on it. Her name's Amanda. Say hi Amanda. Hello. I mean, come on. Gourley's wife. That's fair.

And this total smoke show comes walking in. She's gorgeous. The same could be said for you, too. Oh, please. Of the Christ. I mean, both of you are really punching up. Yes. Yeah.

I mean, no offense, but oh my God, are you punching up? It's true. No, people think that Liza visited me in the hospital. What do you mean? They just think some total accident happened and that's how I got this woman. You know, like she was there and then accidentally got married. She had amnesia and you came in and

went, I'm your husband. Yeah, exactly. Thank God I found you. Yeah. And you think I'm handsome. No, yes, we're both very lucky men. Yes, you are. And you know, so as a lucky fella, you're a husband. Tachikisian. Yeah. I can't believe I'm saying Tacticisian now.

Tack, Tack. You don't even know his last name, do you? No, it's Beroian. No, it's Peroian. It's not Tachikisian. Yeah. Anyway, this is getting really nice and everything. So I just want to get us back to ground zero. Yeah.

Please do. You suck. You were way too long. I'm fat. Yeah. And you're a fat guy. You're a fat guy. You got to lose the weight.

Yeah. With your tisem. Your husband's name's Tachyzean. You're way too loud. And you don't help me as much as you should. I think we're all. Why? And I think we're all.

And you're still. What are you? You're still a little bitch. No. One, two, three. Little. Oh, I can't. No, I can't. I honestly, I can't do it. Why does it feel so right? I can't do it. I can't do it. I honestly could not do it. I don't know.

You've called me everything. You actually called me a little bitch before. I'm sure I have. I've called you a dick and asshole, but I can't, I don't know why a little bitch hurts. No. I think I, uh, I feel like it's, it's too far. You think Eduardo went too far. No, I don't think he went too far. I think I would go too far. And I think it's because I was your assistant for so long. And I wouldn't want to... Isn't that weird? I know. I don't know. Wait a minute.

You have some tiny bit of professional fear of me. I kind of do. Yes, that's incredible. I do. I mean, when he said it, everybody else was laughing. And I, like, was like, oh my God, Eduardo. Eduardo was scared. He went home.

Yeah. He was really terrified that, like, it was over. Yeah. I feel good about it now. And then you remembered... And then you remembered who I am. Also, you probably went home thinking, it could be over for me, but if it is totally worth it.

What a way to go Anyone in the country would have hired you Well, super happy to have you back Yep And we've reunited As you know, probably the Isn't there a movie where there's different stones And they got to put them in the club

Yeah, the Shankar stones of Indiana Jones In the Temple of Doom? Sure. Are you talking about Thanos and the Avengers? I don't know. I just knew that. No, we're talking about Indiana Jones in the Temple of Doof.

I don't know. There's a lot of stones that need to. Also, next week, I'm back on paternity leave. All right. You know my guest today from the TV show The Newsroom and the film X-Men Apocalypse. Now you can see you're in the Apple TV Plus series, your friends and neighbors. Very delighted to have her here today. Olivia Munn, welcome.

John and I've talked about this before. Like, growing up, it's like to even think that you'd become Conan O'Brien's friend, let alone, like, sitting here talking with you, is like such a. it's a really hard thing to go back and be like, hey, like one day you'll be friends with Conan O'Brien. It's kind of, it's very surreal. Well, that's a very nice thing to say. Spend a little time with them. Yeah, you'll see very quickly.

I think in 10 minutes, you'll want out. You'll want out very badly. But, you know, I'm so happy you're here, and we were chatting just before we came in here to do the pod. I call it pod because there's not time to say a podcast. Okay. You saved a lot of time with doing that. I did. we should stop now.

But we were chatting and you were just talking about how, which I can relate to, and I think you can relate to, Matt, but you're tired. You're tired because you've been taking care of your kids and you just said, I am so tired. And I said, trust me, this podcast today is going to be your time out. But you're going through the same thing.

Yeah, newborn. I got a new. What? Yeah. I mean, she's great. She's one. What do I do? Do I talk?

That's right. This is your first. I'm still wasting. first day back since a maternity leave, the children are now in their 30s. He's been gone for a really long time. Yeah. But, and I think too long. But we'll figure that out later.

HR tells me I'm not allowed to bring it up. But you're tired. You are exhausted. I am pretty, I'm really tired. I was like, as I was coming in, John was like, have fun on Conan. I was like, I'm so tired. But I'm so excited to be here because I was saying, like, they're four in 19 months. And this crazy thing is that like when everyone's there and like we're happy to help and be there to help, my mom is there to help too and my stepdad, like we want to be in the mess, you know, just be in it with them. And the problem is is that it just leaves us with nothing on the other side. So like we're giving to our work and then we come home and it's like we can do it all ourselves. And it's just and I just. I don't have that instinct. When I come home, I'm very happy to say because I have we have a lot of help. I have I have eight butlers.

That's just me. I have and I have people that carry me Oh. Yeah, from the toilet to my other toilet

and I... You've got to the bathroom a lot. Yeah, oh, I'm constantly... Like it's from one to the other? Yes.

There's no stop and they don't stop anywhere else. And there's a toilet on the little chariot they carry you too. Yeah, I'm constantly... By the way, if that's what's happening,

I think you need it. Yeah. No, no. Trust me. I don't think this is like vanity at all. I think there's something going on. That's a really good point.

And thank you for taking my side on this this because, You know, my wife is always like, does this really necessary? I'm like, you have no idea. I don't necessarily this is. But I think that's your problem

is saying we want to be part of the, you know, you can meet the children later in life. You know what I mean? You can meet them later. You're saying her problem is that she wants to be involved with her kids. Yeah, what's not all about?

I don't get it. Oh, okay. Okay. People like Winston Churchill, he was raised by people on the estate and then he was like brought to meet his parents at a certain age. I'm serious.

They're like, come, it's time to go. meet your father. Hello, Potter. You know, it was a weird thing. Your children call you by your first name, don't think. Hello, Conan. Yeah, it's creepy. Mr. Conan. Mr. Conan. Exactly. Yeah, but it's casual, but still, like, formal. Super casual. Yeah, I just think, like, every little moment, just, like, I think that John and I connect so much to our own childhoods. Like, we have such distinct memories of what our childhoods were like, and we see our children in ourselves so much. So I think it's, like, every time we, like the funny thing is like Malcolm will do something and then he and I will both have

John and I will both have a different reaction based on like what our childhood is and that sometimes they're very we're very different he's Irish Catholic you know white collar family and then I grew up in a military family with like my my mom a Vietnamese refugee yes right yeah who came here in 1975 the day the war ended yeah it was out on the last the last the last boats out and and so you have a completely different frame of reference than John Malaney, Irish Catholic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like we like the other day, like Malcolm was like, why can't we do this thing? And John was like, oh, well, because it's closed now. Everything is closed.

And then I was like at the same time I was going, well, because we've decided that we're not going to do that because and then we both looked at each other going like, which way do we go? What do we do. You didn't have your story straight. We did not. And we do that a lot. And then then one of us will kind of start to start to talk slower. And that's the one, that's the cue to be like, we followed that person, whoever. So they're like, no, it was, you know, it's closed. So we're not going to go today, but we're going to go tomorrow. And then we're like, oh, okay, I don't.

So your kids now think you're just liars. That's all parenting is. Yeah. She has twins as well. Yeah, I think the three of us have kids that are around the same age. Yeah. My boys turned five in July, years in October. Yeah.

And I think Malcolm's four. Yeah. Yeah, just turned four at the end of November. Okay. I used to tell our kids that Obama canceled it. I'm serious. I used to do that. I used to tell them, you know, Obama canceled it.

That's why we can't do it. And they said, what? And I said, yeah, it was on CNN. And my, I think it was my daughter said, what is that? The Conan Nonsense Network. Oh, my God. And I was like, okay, well, this doesn't work anymore. They're Republicans now.

She was a Biden term. She was two when she said that, yeah. I just said that to John. just yesterday I was talking about something that my mom had said to me that was so like flippant innocuous. She wasn't even thinking, I know at that time she didn't think it was anything. But what she said, I knew was a lie because it was just like when I was a five-year-old, you know, she was like, oh, whatever it was was just like a little lie. And I, and I know in that moment, the course changed from being like, I believe everything my mother says to being like,

oh, you're just, you're not going to be telling the truth about things. Right, right. And then I look at myself as an adult, I'll be like, my mom knows something. everything. She's so annoying. She knows everything. She's always right. And yet I'll still be like, no, because that's my, my default is to be like, no, because I remember when it all changed for me. You lied one time and I can never trust you again. Well, when I think as a kid, like, you know, I said to John, we never know when we're creating a core memory. So like, there's things that my mom said and did that she will never, ever be like, I remember that because there was one time when it's like in the 80s, right? So my mom would, uh, had us, my sister and I, um, my step-sister,

am ages me, came home from school, puts us to nap. And then I hear the door close. And I look outside. I go into the living when she's in the van pulling out of the driveway. We're, nobody else is going to be home. We're like at four years old. But this is the 80s when you could like, you know, leave your kid at home. You go run and come back. And I ran out crying and screaming. Well, I thought she was leaving us. And she's annoyed. Now she's got to go back. You're like, okay, get back in the house. And I was just being like, and then I was so confused. Like, now she's annoyed with me. Did I do something wrong? But she was leaving me. And it was just, And that became such a core memory.

That's bold even for the 80s. Yeah. That's pretty good. Not for the 70s, but for the 80s. Yeah. Well, we used to also in the pickup trucks, like, you know, sit in the back of the flatbed. But on the hump where the wheel is, we can sit in there, like just, you know, a free ride through the highways. Like, no one got in trouble then.

It was a different time. Yeah. I'm amazed at the things that we did when I was growing up in the 70s. I just, you know, sometimes I wouldn't see my parents. for months at a time. Yeah. I was left with just a map and a gold coin.

I know. You go on a full walkabout for three days in your hometown and just come back tan and dirty. In the outback. Yeah.

I can relate, obviously, to John and I have similar, you know, kind of lineage and we're both comedy obsessives. Is he always trying to turn something

into a comedic riff? Is that something he does it at home or not so much? No, I can't see him doing it, but it must be happening because I'll be watching. I haven't seen his stand-up until recently we're in London. I watched it. I was like, you've been like clocking all of this? Core memories. You're making core memories.

Everything is a core memory. His latest special is called core memories. No, it's, yeah, because I have noticed something with him that you might relate to as like a comedian because I've seen, now I see it. with him is that, like, Malcolm said something the other day, too, I think, and, and when something's really funny, there's not a big reaction. It's just like, oh, yeah, uh-huh. And, like, his brain is already, it's almost like he's, like, writing it down a notebook in his head. Yes. You don't immediately laugh. Exactly. You just go, oh, that's very funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I see. Yes, that can be used

later. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah. I know. Sometimes there's not. Sometimes it's really not. It's like, ah, yes, that's very good. That's very good. I think it clicks, it just literally, it flips a switch instead of like where the rest of us are just like, that's funny. I think it immediately flips this other switch that's like, that is very funny. Let me log this down. Let me not forget the nuances of whatever this whole little moment was. So that happens a lot more than I recognize like, you know, the first year we're together. Yeah, it's not as obvious as John saying, you know, you're, you know, your, Malcolm falls down and he's like, wait a minute, I can use this. Keep crying. So I get down what it's like. We were talking just before we got started and I thought, I want to. ask you about this because your early life, there's, you know, there's a lot happening. Your mom comes here when she has you. Where are you living? Is it Oklahoma? Oklahoma. Oklahoma. I was born in Oklahoma City. Oklahoma. But then it doesn't work out. Her marriage doesn't work out. My father, she eats on my mother when I was six months old. Oh, boy. And then she, yeah, she, my sister was two and a half of six months. And my mom was, had his dry cleaning and was going through

a suit jacket and found two movie ticket stubs and went up and asked him like, did you go to the movies of somebody? And he said, yes. And she goes, was it a girl or a guy? He goes, is a girl? And he goes, is it a date? And he's like, yes. And then so she leaves. And did she go to Japan? No, so she leaves. So my mom and my mom, my grandmother and her nine children escaped Vietnam in the fall of Saigon and in 75. And they came out to Oklahoma because they, there was a Christian university president that was like I'll sponsor all 10 of you to come to Oklahoma. And they went there. And then my mom went to university and everybody still lived there in Oklahoma. And then when my, when she left my father, she went back home to my grandmother's house with, you know, my uncles and everybody there to take,

you know, take care of her and us. And my mom would tell stories about my dad coming to get us to for visitation. And my uncles would be so mad. And they'd pick up huge rocks and just throw them at him and like throw them at his car. And like it was just, they were just the Saigon. came out in them. Yeah. What a ancient way of showing displeasure. Do you know what I mean? I'm going to take a note for this podcast.

Yeah, I'm passive regressive with you, Matt, but I don't pick up large boulders and throw them at you. But now that we know that's an option. It is an option. So then she goes. So then, and then eventually she remarries my first stepfather. My mom's been married three times. My second stepfather, it's important to note that he is amazing.

His name is Sam, but my first stepfather is not a good guy at all. It's really for 14 years of my life from like 2 to 16. And so she married him and he was in military. And then that brought us to. And he was a bit of like a rageaholic yelling person. Did you call him that? He was very abusive, abusive in many ways. And it's interesting like with abuse, right?

Like there was definitely screaming and yelling. But there wasn't like a rage. Like when you see in movies, just somebody comes and getting, wow, what's going on in here? It was just like that, you know, your blood runs. You just feel, you know, you could just feel it. It's like when your kids are like dogs, right, where you can feel things before anything is said. You could, like, it's raining outside. And I would learn, like, later in life, like, okay, rain that's actually bad because he might be late for work or somebody might did that.

And then he's going to come home and be really in a bad mood. So you just kind of like clocking all these things. He wore, always at home, he would wear like flip flops. And so like the sound of like flip flops on the linoleum because, you know, in a military housing, you have like the same kind of concrete floors of linolium on top of it. And just like those kind of things that you just kind of perk up and go like, okay, someone's coming or danger's coming. Just before we came in here, you were talking about how you seem like someone who obviously went through a great deal. And then at some point had the strength and tenacity to say, I'm getting out of here because you talked about getting in your car and driving. This is, you know, when you're much older, but you decided I'm going to go to Los Angeles.

You got in a car and you just started driving. And you said, you know, your car broke down at one point. and you were looking for a replacement part on the side of the road? Yeah. There's this real fire in you, like, I am going to get out. I always wanted to be an actor.

When I was like, maybe 17 or so, my best friend gave me this book called An Actors Guide, your first year in Hollywood. And I was like, page one, let's go. Here, we're going to make it. And so I told my mom that I wanted to be an actor. And my mom being an immigrant was like, oh, okay, that's not. You know, my mom and her siblings all came to America with nothing.

and they all have like, you know, master's degrees and PhDs and become like top engineers and one has worked for NASA and their doctors. And so my mom is like, you know, we don't have a dentist or a lawyer in the family yet. And I was like, yeah. Yeah, I was like, okay, yeah. And also you can understand where they're coming from. Yeah. That if you, if they're coming from that reality and then you just one generation removed is saying, I'm going to try improv. Mm-hmm. And I'm going to throw.

And I'm going to play, you know, some theater games. I could understand why they'd be freaked out. Yeah, especially because she's like, wait, you want to do what? Like, she did tell me a long time ago. She goes, you want to be after you call? Only one man can do it. Tom Cruise. You're not Tom Cruise.

I was like, what? I go, mom, there's a lot of people. She is true. There is only one man that can do it. You're not Tom Cruise. I was like, I'm not. However, he and I do have the same birthday. So, but, and so it was, I would ask her a lot.

And she was like, if you go to college and use your degree for one year, like, then I'll, I'll say, okay, you can go. And now I know at this point I'm an adult, but it's an Asian family. So it really mattered that my mom was, you know, there to support me. And also, I didn't have the money to go do that. And I needed a lot of support and permission from my mom. And so I graduated from University of Oklahoma with journalism degree. And then I worked at the end. affiliate for one year in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

And you were sideline? No, I was doing the assignment desk. You've been into a newsroom before? So we go into a newsroom. There's this assignment desk, and it's where you answer the calls from people going, like, I love what, you know, Jane was wearing today on them. What color was that suit? And it's also people going like, there was a, you know, I've got a complaint about, you know,

XYZ and what's happening over here on this street. There's also all of these police scanners, paramedic scanners, fire, department scanners. And it's constantly all the time. And your job is to hear it all and then to tell people and it'd be like, Conan, go to 89th Street. There's a fire at McCready's Bond. Get over there. Exactly. And they're right there in front of me and I hear nothing. And I could hear producers screaming out what, like, you know, they're like, a school bus turned over on 29th. And you're like, I'm like, really? And they're like, oh my gosh, there's a house fire on Robertson. I'm like, there is? And I'm the worst person at this job ever. It was. Your job is not to go. You don't

say. Wow, that must be some fire. We should put it on the news. I'd be watching people get up and run and I'm like, what? They're like, and they'd be like, they'd be into the parking lot screaming what's happening and I just couldn't hear it. And so I took that job for a year. And then then they asked me, don't ask me why. They're like, do you want to stay on longer? And I was like, well, I told my mom I would only do this for a year before I would go. And I was just determined to just do a year. And then I started thinking like, oh, man, maybe I, maybe I will. I don't know I talk to my mom about. And she goes, you know what? Why don't you just wait another year? Just like one more year. And then you, then you should go out to California and give it a try, but just one more year.

So I was like, okay. And then one day, speaking of core memories, like not knowing when you're creating them, my sister was getting dressed and she was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup. And she said, oh, you know, mom said the funniest thing to me the other day. She said, you know, Olivia keeps wanting to go to California to be an actor and I just told her like next year and if she says anything to you about it just tell her next year and we'll just keep saying next year next year until one day she'll forget about it

and my sister said it of just like mom is so silly isn't that so silly and I'm pretty sure my sister doesn't even know this story because it probably didn't even clock to her but in that moment I was like oh my god well why is this working like why because it clearly worked on me I thought well I'm letting it work

why am I letting it work on me well because what if I don't make it? And if I don't make it, then for the rest of my life, I could always say, well, I was going to be an actor, but my mom wouldn't let me. Right. I was going to, yeah. In a way, you have an out.

I have an out forever. So I had this old, like, beat up land rover discovery that, like, broke down, like, every 20 miles or so. And it was not a good thing for the environment to do, but we took out the catalytic converter because in Oklahoma, you could. And the catalytic converter allows more to have, just more like horsepower and it's like and it's really bad for the environment because it doesn't it lets all the exhausts kind of out but in Oklahoma you could do it so thanks Oklahoma

so the the mechanic was like you know you take this out you're gonna get like you're gonna be able to go a lot faster and you're gonna get more shoots gasoline at the back propelling you forward and and so and then I also had a really had a crack in my radiator and I knew about that but I couldn't afford to like you're driving Chernobyl yeah Exactly. And so, I mean... You're kind of low on uranium. So I...

So then I had to drive, like, got in the car and I was to go from Oklahoma to Texas and then all the way through, you know, New Mexico, Arizona and then to California. But, like, it stopped, like, every 200 miles. And because you have to stop, open the gaskets, put in the radiator fluid, you know, to. the free on to keep it going. And then at one point, it just was like steam was coming out. I was in the middle of New Mexico when the steam was just like spewing out. And it's like the check engine lights coming on. So I pull over and I'm like, oh my gosh. And like the hose for the radiator like, had blown. It was like a like a crack in it. I'm like I just, I'm on the side of the road on the highway like looking for a while going through the brush and then I find a hose. I'm looking for

something that I could use and I find a hose. And because I've already had to do. You know, You found a radiator hose. No, no, no, not a radiator hose. Oh, okay. No, it was like... A hose. A hose. You found what you're looking for?

That's amazing. It was, I don't know what kind of hose. It wasn't a water hose. It was something. But I did it because in college, my best friend, Kara, she's very... She taught me a lot of this stuff. And so this had happened once before when we were in Oklahoma during college. And I was like, what are we doing?

She's like, we're going to go find a hose. It's like, what do you mean? She's like, we're going to find something. And like, so we like, on the side of the road, you just keep like looking and looking and you'll find something. something. And so, you know, I look, it wasn't easy. It wasn't like, I was like an hour or so. Have you considered treasure hunting? I'm just saying you may have a real talent here. Well, you just search and searching to find something. And I carried the screwdriver and I carried like the heat resistant

duct tape. I mean, I had the whole thing because like this was a situation that I had experienced for like over a year. I've been going through this. So you'd think actually that I would have kept like extra hoses. That's the key. No, not if your experiences, just go outside and look around. It's like shopping at Minakee. But we found it and it got me through.

It got me to the very, like all the way to Alta Dina where I was meeting cousins. And so how long before you got work? Well, it depends on how you describe work. So in an actors guide your first year in Hollywood. They tell you. Wow, you really, yeah. They tell you.

After the chapter on finding a hose. This book is really good. You know how they up, they do like a new edition? Maybe they should do a new edition interviewing me for a now. The new edition, yeah. So it says like to become an actor, you need to join the union. And how do you join the union? You get your sack card.

How do you get your sad card? Well, you book something that gives you your sad card. Or you go and be an extra. And you can be an extra and you get like pink slips and think it was like, like three pink slips equals like one sag card. That's what I did. You did? Did you get it? Yeah, for being an extra.

Wait, how many pink slips did you get? Three. And did you get speaking parts? No, I was just, I was. You get featured? No, I was a high school student, even though I looked 38. I saw watch the credits. It said creepy high school students.

Yeah, wait. Prematurely aged. Did everyone get one or did they just give it to you? There was, it was a show called The Smart Guy on like, was it Nickelodeon or something? I can't remember. And one of the actors was. was someone we knew from an improv group. And so he got three of us as featured extras to get our sad cards.

What was the featured part? Creepy guy in a high school. Like, we weren't, like, speaking. No, I know. So it seemed like a game or something. So it's certainly background work. It totally was. Yeah.

And, but I thought you just go. And then you're like, every background person gets like a, I didn't know there was like a special thing. Like you have to be like, you have to have a featured, whatever that means. Okay. So in the book it says, like, go. to central casting and you bring your passport in another identification and you go there your lineup. So I go to central casting out in Burbank and like there is a line that goes, you know,

down the block, down the block around the block. And I'm there like passport in hand. The biggest smile on my face. I'm like, we're doing it. Yeah. We're going to do it. We're here. Look at us. I'm the new Tom Cruise. Yeah. Just like the book says. Yeah. You guys have the book too. Yeah. And I was like literally the only person smiling the entire time. I was like, this is it. And I get to the front. And the first one I did was Gilmore Girls. I couldn't believe it. I got cast on Gilmore Girls. And I get to Warner Brothers. I see all these people there and no one else is smiling. It's 4 a.m. And I'm just like, guys, we're doing it. We're doing it. And then this one guy brought me over and he's like, come here. He's like, is this your first time doing this? I'm like, yes, it is. He's like, okay,

he's like, what color did you bring? He's like, what do you mean what color? And he was like, what color did you bring? I just have like winter coats and stuff. He goes, hold on. He hands me his red scarf. And he's like, you need this so that they can see you in the background. He's like, he puts on a red hat. And he goes, and you want to make like big gestures. He's like, you know, like you can say hi to a friend that's way over there. And like, so he had all these like tips and tricks and taught me about like bringing Tupperware so that I can like take food home and like how we want to get into meal penalties. And it was like this whole thing I learned. The Yoda background acting on your first day. Some of the advice I'm not

sure. I have a hard time watching Gilmore Girls because there's a guy in the background who's He's always flailing like he's on fire. He's dressed like where is Waldo? I can't understand Rory. But I only did that. I only did one other background job. The very first thing I booked was it's always sunny in Philadelphia. Oh, there you go.

It's my jam. But wait a second. Oh. So I couldn't believe it. This is so exciting. Then Monday morning rolls around and I'm waiting. I'm supposed to film on Monday. And I'm waiting.

I'm waiting. And then I try to get a hold to somebody at the agency. Like, no one's answering. Try to get somebody at the management company. No one's answering because it's super early in the morning. I'm like, I feel like I'm supposed to be there already. And then finally I get a call from production. And the woman's like, oh, my God, we transpose the last two numbers of your cell phone.

My number at the time was 0608. So they were calling 0806. And they're like, I'm so sorry. We had to go audition all of the extras for this role. And I was like, what do you mean? They're like, we told your managers. but my manager at the time was too busy starring and filming his own movie

that weekend that he didn't give me any of the Oh, come on, bro. I would give him just a number of more chances if I was not too much. I'll give him 15 more chances. I was like, you guys, I was like, I'll be right there, I'll be right there like I'm sorry we've had to move up.

But don't worry, we'll remember you for the next time. I thought, of course, you're not going to. I look back at my start, and there were things I desperately wanted to happen. It didn't happen. And then later on, I realized that if those things had happened, the real great shots wouldn't have come along for me. It would have set me off on a different road. Because you go on this streak of attack of the show, you get...

Daily show. Yeah, daily show. You got offered a part on 30 Rock, which you couldn't end up doing. And then you do the newsroom. Yeah, that was like my first big, like, a B-M-A-M-Th to take on, right? Like, The Daily Show with John Stewart was a... Those both are, like, kind of simultaneous, like, and they're very different in their own ways. Right.

I knew that I was, like, just the outlier in that whole cast for the newsroom, and that, you know, and actually after my first day of filming, the very first scene that you see me in in episode two, season one, he came to me afterwards. He's like, you know, we were, he's like, just so, you know, we were all watching being like, what's this girl from the Daily Show going to do? And I was like, and I kind of felt that pressure a little bit, but also at the same time felt like, like, I didn't know a lot about, like, the etiquette of, like, filming on sets and, like, how, like,

I would ask a lot of questions. I would go to Sorkin and be like, can you explain all these little things to me? Because I was like, I mean, I didn't write the character you did. So I would, and so there was like a little, and I would ask other actors to be like, how would you say this line? And they'd be like, what?

Like, you can't. And I was like, why would I just want to use my brain if I can have everyone's, you know, help and involved in this. And I was looking at, I knew I was going, I had like such an amazing high caliber group of actors around me. And I was like, oh, man, I don't, I just have to like, kind of narrow in and think about what I'm doing. And I, at that time in entertainment, I feel like a lot of times I'd seen characters like that play really just overly demanding or apologetic. And I just wanted to play it straight. I just was like, there's like just any, nothing has come

close to that. I stopped filming that show in 2014, 14, 17, 14, something like that. A long time ago. And nothing has come close to that because of the challenges that Sorkin put for me in there to like really make things really small, but still give it as much impact. It'd be very hard to act in his stuff

because he puts so much dialogue in there. So dense. It's so dense. And when I watch his stuff, I'm always very, he's obviously a great writer and he's really a savant at this. He does great work, but I'm always thinking, yeah, I couldn't work for that guy. Memorize all that stuff? And what, you know me, I'd just be making up gibberish. And he also loves walking and talking. So that business where, you know, every... And you literally can't walk and talk. I can't walk. I cannot walk and I cannot. I cannot do both. Unless you're being carried on a toilet.

If I'm carried on a toilet. That's why. All my scenes. But you've, I mean, it's interesting because you, you've, you've, you've, had kids, I know that you then battled breast cancer. And you made this decision to just take time off, but I heard you say somewhere, I'm not going to do some announcement that you won't be seeing me for a while. Which I thought was cool because when people announce, I'll be stepping down from my career momentarily. I always think no one asked. I'm like, I always think it's so funny when people do that. I'm like, you don't play for the Lakers. Like no one's being like, where are they? Tuesday night, where are they? I'm like, you're an actor. Like, everyone wants to make this big announcement. And it's like, I think if there's somewhere where people are expecting you to be, you know, then, okay, you should let us know when you're not going to be there. But it was like it was a, it was a personal decision. And yeah, I just felt like I just had gone through if your wife dealt with postpartum, but I had the worst postpartum anxiety. Did you have that at all? Yeah, I did. Yeah. I was ready for postpartum depression that heard about it. I'd never heard a postpartum anxiety. And so it was like about a month after Malcolm was born. And all of a sudden I just.

like I wake up at 4 a.m. My eyes just pop open and I just go and I just feel it in my chest every day. It's like that every day for almost a year. And I just, I would just have to hold his arm going from room to room sometimes and that would just be like cool. The rest, like sometimes it'd be cool, but it would always be there. And I didn't understand what it was.

I didn't really say anything to anybody about it. I just told him like, I don't really feel good. I'm just kind of feeling anxious. And it wasn't until, it wasn't for like nine months or something until finally I opened up to think my therapist about it. And I wasn't able to make a lot of breast milk. I really tried and my son was struggling

because I was not giving him any nourishment. And it was so frustrating. And so I was like, I'm just stopping him. I'm going to put him on formula. He's going to be okay. But by stopping cold turkey like that, I didn't know. Even if I made a little bit,

what happens is your hormones drop. And everything, like I was not prepared for this. So then it just, it just, dropped me into like the depths of postpartum hell and I was spiraling and then I ended up getting people had asked me like what what were your thoughts well the thing is I didn't have thoughts thank God I didn't have any thoughts of self harm or hurting anyone else and I have my heart goes out to every woman who's experiencing that and there's not enough sympathy and empathy and understanding for that it's absolutely um horrifying to to feel those things I can imagine yeah

so that was a big part of reason why I was like okay I need to take some time away way, but I wasn't thinking about that yet. Right when I was getting out of that postpartum, hey, so it's like, I'm feeling good. Then I get diagnosed with breast cancer. Yeah. And then it was like, it was a very aggressive, fast-moving cancer that was like all over both breasts.

So I went through many surgeries, five surgeries. And then in that process, I was like, I think I need to step away from being in the public eye. Wow. And it's also just important to point out, you had no symptoms. And so you took this lifetime risk assessment test, which told you had a very high number and that saved your life. I mean, that's huge. Yeah, the clear mammogram and a clear ultrasound and I did clear genetic testing as well, or genetic testing, it came back clear. A lot of

people ask about BRCA and BRCA is a very well-known breast cancer gene, but there are many breast cancer genes. And I tested negative for all cancer genes. Yeah. So there's a thing, I know, the lifetime risk assessment test, and it's a free online test. It takes minutes to take. It's been around for a very long time, but a lot of people don't know about it. Anything above 20% is considered high risk. And it's a score that will tell you how likely you are to get breast cancer in your lifetime. And mine was 37.3%. Oh, man. Okay.

So I went to go with the MRI. And the doctor called me that day. And it's like, I think I see something on your right breast. You should go get an ultrasound. So, okay, I go get the ultrasound. And then the doctor's taking some time. And it's never really good when they're quiet, right? So I'm like, is it everything okay?

And she's like, well, I see the one from the MRI, but now I'm finding too more. Oh, fuck. Okay. And then she explains it to me. So with our women, our breasts are like circles and then they put it cross through it. And then there's quadrants. And so multifocal means there's more than one in one quadrant. Multi-quadron is that there's two different quadrants. It's not that abnormal to have multifocal in one quadrant, but it's abnormal to have it in two quadrants, multiple quadrants. So they're like, okay, you should go get a biopsy. So I go get a biopsy. And they're like, yeah, it's a very aggressive, fast-moving cancer. And it's not normal. to have multifocal, multi-quadron at your age.

And then they're like, well, let's go back to your original MRI and look at the other side. And they looked at the left breast. They go, okay, yes, we got to go an MRI biopsy on this. And they did that one as well. And so they're like, so then I was diagnosed with multifocal, multi-quadrant bilateral breast cancer. And then after my double mastectomy,

they sent it off for pathology, and they find a tangerine-sized section of more breast cancer in my right breast. Because, you know, they look for, it's called clearing the margins. So when they get your tumors, they take the tissue out and they want to come back and be like, okay, we were able to clear margins. So whatever tissue sample we got, we're able to say we got the tumor because there's clear,

there's clear tissue all around it. And because they did my whole double mastectomy, they were able to take all the tissue out, but they were like, okay, we weren't able to get clear margins till past like a tangerine size section of more. So, and that was, and I would never have, I would not have found it until it was a much later stage if I didn't take the lifetime risk assessment test. And then a year after that, a little less than a year after that, I would have my mom do a mammogram. My mom just turned 70. I had her, this was last year, yeah, I had her do a mammogram and ultrasound, it's clear, clear, and I did her lifetime risk assessment score, and she scored in a high risk.

And so then we had her do an MRI, and she was diagnosed with her to breast. cancer. It's a type of breast cancer that can double in size every six weeks. What? So when she, when we found it, a few weeks later she has her double mastectomy and it already become multifocal. Ah. Because it was, I gotta do this. Yeah. You do. It's a really, I'm actually working with Senator Mark Kelly on legislation that will help make it a lot easier for women to have this done just because the onus shouldn't be on us to always know about these things. And I can, I will, you know, this is a, of the biggest missions in my life, besides being, you know, a mother and a wife and a daughter, I want to help as many women as I can with this. It's so simple, but it shouldn't be on us to know

about it. When we go into our doctors, they take our blood pressure. They ask about like our cholesterol, and they should also say, what's your lifetime risk assessments for? And so we're working with, I'm working with Senator Kelly on figuring out a way to get every doctor in our country to make that part of their standard of care. Yeah. All right. Lifetime Risk Assessment Test. That is huge.

I'm writing it down. Yeah. I better write it down for you. There's a specific one, the Tyra Cusick one. I have it in my link in bio in my Instagram. Okay. Because there's one called the Gail something other. It's the Tyra Cusick one.

They're all a little bit different for some reason, but... We can put it in the show notes. Yeah, yeah, put it in the show notes. Well, now you're working on your friends and neighbors with Mr. John Hamm, And I bet it's nice to be, you know, it must be nice to be back in it, I would think, kind of therapeutic to be working and making that great show. I really do love that show.

Thanks. I'm so happy you like it. And we've got to do this again sometime. Yeah. Oh my gosh, it just settled in. What else we're going to talk about? Finding hoses? I hope my friend,

my friend, I'm going to make her listen to this. She was the one who taught me that. She's an architect. Do you know California Chicken Cafe out here? Of course. She's like the VP of branding there, and she's the one who redesigned all of the California chicken cafes out here. They're like all this food.

I've noticed they've got a new look. Yeah, they do. They have new font and everything. That makes me like the chicken more. It's all about a presentation. Sometimes there's a really good chicken with bad font. And I'm like, I'm not doing this shit. You're a big font guy.

I'm very big on a font. What I learned is they did better during COVID than a lot of places. because everybody's looking for, like, just a healthy, easy alternative. So much so that they don't do Eden anymore. Yeah, we don't. You know a lot about this place. I sure do. She knows her fast foods and your food outlets, right?

It's not fair to say. That's fair to say. It's not really fast. It's not like Carl's Jr. No, no. Burger King. You're just lifting off a whole other places. Okay.

It's, it is. It's like that. It's good. And you don't have to walk in. They have like a window now and you just go order and pick up. Is there one out by us? There's, I don't think so. If I go to one, it's the one on Melrose.

Excuse me, we're talking to here. Let us talk. Can I just say the best one of all is Pollo Loco because for a what? It's L'Oyo Loco. Please. Okay. I like La Poya Loka myself. I like to feminize things because women need to be heard and seen.

But also, I like a chicken that's gone insane. I like a chicken that's eyes are crossed and it's gone insane. And then the chicken is telling you eat chicken. but the chicken's gone insane and it's this crazy thing where you're like, a chicken's gone so insane he's telling people to eat more of my kind.

Yeah, game recognizes game. Exactly. Game recognizes foul. All right, well, my best to Kooky John, you know? I mean... He loves you. Well, I love him.

Listen, be well. I'm so glad that you're healthy. I'm glad that you have these two beautiful children. and that you have this great family. I'm just pretty happy for you. Oh, thank you so much. I mean, it really means a lot. I mean, just so happy to be here with you guys.

I mean, we love your show. Everybody loves your show. They have to. It's the law. But it's been so nice. I don't want to leave now. Well, you can stay. This is a nice place to hang.

What do you guys do next? What do you guys do next? Just go out for a tasty freeze. Yeah. A little California chicken cat. CCC is what the kids call it. Yeah, that's what I call it. Do you guys interview somebody else after this?

Or do you have one a day? We tend to record more stuff, but... Yeah, I don't know if we're doing more. Yeah. We're next week, we're doing... We do segments separately and all that. I think that's it for today. You know?

Sometimes we just do local news and weather. How many episodes do we do a year? Well, this is interesting. You're going to be the 400th episode. Me? Yes. Yeah, yeah, which means you get a pair... 400?

You get a pair of... Someone did not plan that right. I feel like it should have been... No, it doesn't. No, please. It's like, but you get a pair of socks. That's exciting. Okay.

Olivia, I want to thank you. Sorry, hold on. Yeah, just your clothing and here we go. Olivia, thank you very much for being. Oh, hi. Start again. Olivia. Yes.

I just want to tell you that it was lovely having you here on Colonel O'Brien needs a friend. I do consider you a friend and I wish you all the best in your future endeavors. And now I say both to you and to. people all around America and I'm the heartland listening. Thank you. And good night. All right. Now it is time for a segment we call Review the Reviewers, where we read and respond to real five-star reviews. Are you reading a bedtime story to a child? I'm trying to be professional. Okay. All right. I'm getting sleepy. Can I have Coco? What do you want me to do? Go to Apple Podcast and rate us five stars, and you might be featured on a future episode. Today's review comes from Kira 8, Kira, who says, segment idea. Hey. We're doing a segment. Conan and team, I'm a huge fan. Love listening to your podcast. And it is one of

the things that got me through chemo. So thank you for that. Wow. That's good for her. You guys should do a segment where you guys discuss new words that kids use these days. Oh, wow. That's a good one. Hey, Kira, I'm so glad that you got through chemo and love the suggestion. It's the new, what the words that kids are using these days. Do you know? Sure. There's Riz. I've been told I've got Riz by no one. I was going to say, I name one person. No one. Apparently, I am Riz free. But it's a good word.

Yeah. It's good slang. Do you know what the slang is these days? I know cap, no cap. And I know. What's cap, no cap? Cap is you're telling the truth. No cap is you're telling the truth. Cap is when you are not telling the truth.

Okay. That's right. Yeah, because it's all about hiding behind a cap. Someone explained it to me. Oh, so. I don't know that. So use it in a sentence. Hey, dude, you're, you got, you got a cap on right now.

Oh. What? Well, no, I'm trying to use it in a sentence. I know, but I just told you. No, hey, Cohen, uh, no cap. Uh, you did great at the Oscars. Oh, thanks a lot. Yeah.

Okay. Okay. Um, I don't like that. I, I just think it's, these new phrases should be easier to say. Yeah. You know what I mean? That's why like the guy's got Riz makes sense to me because you're saying a lot in a very short little word. Yeah. That's why I think it's useful.

No cap cap just feels like it's you're complicating something that's, you know. That's not meant for you. And then I think there's the one about any, don't they add maxing now to everything? Yeah. There's all like frame, frame mugging, gesture maxing. Oh, well, that's because of the social media. star who looks maxing, which he helped invest. And I thought of a joke the other day.

I ran over a controversial social media person with my truck. Yeah, I was charged with clavicular homicide. Now, okay. Look, I'm getting mad respect. I wrote that joke the other day because I saw him being a douche somewhere and I just was like, okay. Sona has her hanged down like she's going to puke. I don't know what to.

Can you? No, I did a bit on the Oscars that was all about me trying to appeal to young people. Yes. But the whole joke was that's impossible if you're doing it on broadcast television. And that was the joke. But someone sent me a clip of clavicular watching it and saying, dude, wasting his time and trying to be cool on network TV. And I thought, no, that's the joke, clavicular. But then I realized I'm engaging in an argument with clavicular.

And that's when I thought I should use this time for good and write a joke about clavicular where he gets hit by a truck. And then I came up with it. Sorry, you're charged with clavicular homicide. Come on. High fives all around. No high fives. You say so much nonsensical words. I feel like you could come up with a slang term.

I'd come up with something a lot better than cap, no cap. That's for sure. Okay, let's say, hey, are you serious? Say something that's like, hey, this is serious. I'm Sears, SRZ. Sears. No, that's a department store for people who still remember it. No, it's long gone. Sears is so long gone, we can change it and it's just SRZ. Hey, Sears, what are you going to do?

Can you say, I'm Sears, like it's 1998. What's that? I don't know. Okay, I think I'm better at this than you are, and I think you're drifting away. What do you think? You must, you're the closest to this age. I'm gonna say we, Adam's probably the expert because his kids are like the perfect age that. I do hear cap, no cap.

Tell them it's not good and to switch to Sears, SRZ. Low key, people say all the time. And you actually in your Oscar's thing said, which is really funny and we say it at home now, low-kenuantly or something like that. Yeah, low-kenuously, yeah. Which I think you made up, but it's like a play on low-key.

Yeah. They say low-key a lot. I just said what Skylar Higley told me to say. That was one where it was like teaching a dog how to speak by putting peanut butter on its lips. Skyler said say these words and it will be funny and I went okay so Sears Sears.

Hey Sears, I thought that was a good bit. Give us another one. Yeah. No, no, but what's so? You don't know? I feel like I don't know. No, no. Blake has one.

A lot of times people will talk to chat. Like, yeah, chat. That's, you know, because when you're live streaming, you're looking at a chat that people are talking about, but people are bringing it IRL into real life. and saying, oh, yeah, chat, let's go out to dinner at, you know, Chipotle or whatever. I don't know, but, okay, they're referencing that, yes, a chat can be happening while you're having a conversation online.

They'll say chat instead of guys. Like, hey, guys, let's go do this. Hey, chat. Okay, that's bad. Or there's like the silent scream, I feel like Gen Z does. Have you seen that where they'll go like, oh. I've never seen that before. They'll also say bet.

Yeah, bet. Bet I've heard a lot. Really big. You know what I want to do? I want to grow even older in ignorance. That's my dream. It's just to drift away on the ice and just not know about no cap, chip chop, flip-flop, squabbledy-doo. I love it.

You do? Did you not use slang terms when you were younger? I think I used slang terms from the 40s when I was growing up in the 70s. You must have been so cool. I was like, hey, 23 Skadoo, you know. I was always trapped in the 1930s and 40s in the late 1970s. You know? You have a possibility.

I was a weird, weird kid and no one should do as I did. All right. I think we learned a lot. And also in a way, we learned nothing. Yeah. And maybe we now know less than we did before. And we've accomplished our mission. Beautiful.

Sears. Sears. Sears. Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Goreley. Produced by me, Matt Goreley. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Jeff Ross, and Nick Leow. Theme song by the White Stripes

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