Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Patton Oswalt Returns

Episode Date: July 17, 2023

Comedian and actor Patton Oswalt feels radiant about being Conan O’Brien’s friend. Patton sits down with Conan once more to discuss the impending takeover of AI, why spectacle doesn’t equal interesting, and his debut comic series Minor Threats. Later, Conan gets grilled over his excuses for why his birthday gift for Matt Gourley never arrived. Find the Slipnutz sketch here.This episode was recorded on 5/31/23. For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com.

Hi, my name is Pat Noswald and I feel radiant about being Conan O'Brien's friend. You know, it's funny there's a light coming off of you. Hey there, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend. Our setup today is a little different, usually myself, Matt Gourley and Sonah, Movesession, we're all in the same room. This is a little bit of a different occasion. I am in New York City because I came here to do some, uh, some pretty cool interviews. Had a really good time. Let's get nice.

Great. And, oh, I'll have to eat for you. Yeah, huge stars. Damn, the huge stars. Wonderful. But I came here to do that. And you guys remained in Los Angeles.

You know, it's a lot of money to fly you guys out here and we didn't want to spend that kind of coin. I think it's worth it. Yeah. So, I mean, elevate the content. Can't put a price on it. No, on Charm and... You actually, you can.

No. You can put a price on Charm and it's not equal to... If you were willing to fly coach and actually if you would do that I know charm like this like coach So anyway, I'm here in New York and my charming pals are in less angel-sit-a-moment so we're on what's, and this might be new to some of you. It's called zoom. And it's a technology that really exploded during COVID. This is a revival of our COVID days.

Yeah. We're doing the podcast. We weren't all in the same room. So let me just put it to you guys. Do you feel that our energy is different when, say, we're in different spaces. Gourly, you and your wonderful home in Pasadena, and Sonah, you're in a land called Al-Tadena. Yeah, it's not the Pasadena. Yeah, yeah.

Never seen it on a map. Anyway, it's like those old maps from the 16th century where they just show dragons and stuff. If you look at maps often, you just like look at maps and see if you can find the cities people live in. Yes, I do. When you said I live in Altadena, I couldn't find it on a map and then I asked an old man, he said, don't go that way.

Death in Doom always you. Sea creatures. No, it's a lovely place and I'm just kidding around. But anyway, we're in different zones. I can see, I feel safer having you at a distance, but the magic isn't as, you know, clicky clicky, you know. I hate this. Why'd you hate it?

I hate this a lot. I like you being confined to this small box. Okay, stupid. No, come on. Hey, I'm turning your volume down right now. It's fantastic. I'm here in, like, I'm only thinking about like, or my boys napping, and then when I'm in the studio, I don't think about them at all. It's like a euphemism. My boys are napping.

Right now, I can tell you. Yeah, my boys are taking a little snooze. Wait, what? Euphemism for what, though? What does that mean? Testicles. My testicles are asleep. Oh, you call your testicles your boys? And they've been asleep for years. Yeah, they've been, trust me, my testicles your boys and they've been asleep for years. Yeah, they've been trusting my Tesco's went soundly asleep. Okay, I think it was 1989

They passed out. They're having a good long sleepy we Sometimes I'm at a loud party and I'm like guys keep it down my boys are sleeping I'd say that all the time See this is the kind of magic we wouldn't have had if we were all in the studio together. That's true, but because we're all in separate spaces, I feel comfortable when Sonya, when you bring up your children immediately making it about my testicles.

Okay, because you wouldn't have done magic person. No, I'm very proper when we're in person. Well, you're a proper guy, you're a proper boy. Oh, I love when you do your character work. Who's this character? Yeah, who's this? Conan as a proper guy. We hear it. Oh, Conan, I'm a proper boy. Oh, I love when you do your character work. Who's this character? Yeah, who's the Conan as a proper guy? I'm a proper guy. I do your French guy. Oh Yes

Oh my god, it's the worst character work of all you're talking about? I'm a professional. Oh, we see. Yeah, see you next time. Okay, yes. Okay, like to call it a French. Yeah, that day. Can you do better? Can you do a better French guy? No, I can't.

That's who could top that? No, what is that? That's a French, that's a French Canadian cartoon Yeah Like Yeah Oh, just like it is, you know, hold on. Shut up, guys. Oh, my God. I'm getting in the car. Shut up.

Now, girl, pay. You tell me, hold on. Now's who got German. Now, that's the German right there. Are you like zebra clasps? I like the Venus, Nisha. Why are you milking a cow? Oh, my God.

Come on. I like the... Please, and I encourage you to go look at the video of this because Sonia is putting her whole body into it. And, um, good God. Sonia, that was fantastic. Fantastic. And I mean that, not in the way you think.

Oh, okay. What a delight, what a delight. Hey, I love this. This was amazing. Now we're gonna get to the interview part and for the interview, we are all together for that. Oh We better hurry up and get there everybody. Oh wow you gotta fly back No, okay, oh it's funny. What Matt does it? Okay?

No, it wasn't funny Yes, that was yes, it was. Woo, those you live in, be it. Oh, come in, let me see me. I don't know what that was. What was that? What was that?

I loved it. That was my impression. I was selected of son of your character. French person. Yes. Yes. That was my German guy. We we.

All right, come on. My boys are getting anxious. There are ways to think going. Because boys were awake. They just woke up. Oh, no. They're like, they don't know what's been happening since 1989. Wait, George Bush's son became president.

Quiet. Oh, there's more. Wait, and then Trump? Wait, the real estate from the reality show. Quiet testicles. Quiet. Yeah. They are pretty, they are pretty meek. They don't, I loved it. That's how my mind is going on. Stalking here. They're just talking about president. Wow. Real mystery. Why I never got the

ladies. Anyway, my guest today, and we are all again, all together for this. My guest today is a hilarious comedian and actor. He's also a co-author of the comic book series Minor Threats. And volume one of the series is in stores now. Patina's world, welcome. Well, I'm glad you're here. I'm glad I'm here. And that's all the time we have. All right. Thanks a lot. Check me out Patina I was all.com. Tour dates coming up. Thanks. I got five other podcasts to do, man. I'm really, I'm just doing the promo thing. Do you know, because the late night show started in 93, I feel like you were on one of those people

that came on fairly early on around, I think, 94. 94 and 95 was my first time. And then I used to say, I used to refer to you as just money in the bank. Meaning you would come on the show, not only did I not have to worry about it, but it was going to be really, really funny and we could do as much time as we wanted to,

which is always a gift for someone like me, because I can relax, patents here, you would go down these so many fascinating little wormholes in your comedy, which are very, and the way you paint pictures, using words, always delighted me. You've got great imagery. Yeah, I always felt good about that. Well, I see your skills at telling time. You were the first to... Wow, have you taken a turn? You were the first. I see your skills in telling time. Oh, boy.

Wow, have you taken a turn? You were the first late night show that I would go on where you would actually give me insight into the sausage making of the show. Oh, I would. You were very, when we were off-micro going to commercial, you were very open about a guest that had just been on where you're like, that was pulling teeth. Like, I'll be out. Nothing to say. And I remember, I'm not going to name the band.

I was on one time and a band came on and was playing. It was one of those early like, uh, scream-o bands. Yeah. And, uh, and you just leaned over to me and you went, I hate wisdom rock. And that, that is the category that I assigned. There's certain bands that had to take my hand. No, that could have been it.

Yes. Wisdom rock. And it's always insulting because it's wisdom rock from 22-year-olds. Yes. Like, people who've not had any wisdom. But they have come down from the mountain to tell you that and power chords. And also that way of singing that sounds like a donkey is preaching. Yes.

And it was always the psych. I'm going to tear you about around. And I'm going to change you by the hand. And all this, you do a high all praise. Right. Exactly. Come on with you too. Yeah.

Two years from now, you'll be working in a hardware store asshole. And you're giving us this key to the future. Let me tell you how loves it. No, you don't need to tell me. Now he's, yeah. Let me tell you how to mix up that paint. I put it in this machine.

And it's going to vibrate real first. Take my hand and give me that coupons. But I'm not this weak. It really was, but that became such a genre for me in my mind. You know what's so funny is, the other thing I was remembering just now as you said it, was there was a different, there was other kind of bands that would come on, and I'm young, I'm 31, 32, some of these bands are very intimidating.

And they're wearing tatters, like tattered leather. And they've put makeup on that looks like their eyes are bleeding. And it's just incredibly intense. And this song is them screaming. And hey, hey, die, die, hey, die, die, die. And I would go over afterwards. And of course, I'm dressed like an insurance salesman. And you can see it. And I'm like 31 through 2. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, then, then, then, then, then, and inevitably the guy would take off his skull mask and hit say, lean over, and they were invariably

from the Midwest and he'd say, I just want to say thank you so much for having us on. A really an honor and such a pleasure and so nice to finally meet you. And I'd be like, oh, you know, and it turns out like, yeah, this is their act. This is exciobism. And they're lovely fellows.

Yeah, as Blank Apache has a great line about, I don't know if you know who GGLin was. GGLin was this extreme punk rocker. He would perform naked. He would defecate on stage. He would throw his poo at the audience. It was all in the early nights. And Blank Kupatch is my impression of GGLin before his show. When I shit in my hand, I've got five.

I'm coming right up. That's my, be ready. Be ready with my towels. Yeah, it's all, it is eventually like, Dolly Parton and the guys from Slipknot could get together and go, oh yeah, the acoustics and the rhyme and a craze we were trying to get.

Oh, I know exactly how you're talking like dates. they have all that weird stuff. I love that it's show business because it doesn't matter. Slipknot is another one of those bands where I went out there. They were I think they I could be wrong, but I think their first TV appearance was on our show. And I remember it culminated with it wasn't I'll tell you a story of that in a second. Go ahead. It it culminated with the drummer using his head to like bang drums That were on either side of his head. I mean it was just Absolutely animal from the muppet. Yeah, and so I went over and they're you know fully on mast and just Madness and I remember coming over and saying slipknot and they all gave me a group hug. I swear to God

No one had showered in a year. And they've been sweating, and so I remembered powerful smell. And all these guys wearing skulls hugging me and then a minute, tt tt tt tt tt tt. Hey, Conan, thank you so much. I mean, lovely guys. Yeah, yeah. Thank you so much.

And then the guy who like, you know, with his, who hit his head against two drums, saying, no, I, I'm thinking maybe if I might try a teach, I might try linguistics. But it was just, I always love that part. I always love where people are flipping identities. Oh, I love that. Well, okay.

So when slipknot was first on your show, that was there for me. And I know this because Brian Possein called me and said, hey, can you, I had one of the first T-vos for some reason. This isn't the infancy of T-vos. He goes, could you please record Conan because I have to work late. And I don't know how to program my VCR. I don't want him to slip not. And I go, yeah, it's right.

He goes, I'll come over tomorrow and I want to watch Slipknot because he was a huge Slipknot fan. So I recorded the whole, I mean, I recorded all the episodes. I would just watch them all. And on that episode, you had, it was John Glazer and Brian and, um, I got him blanking on his name, but they came out as the slip nuts. Yes. You're like, we, we, we double booked.

We weren't thinking it through. Might have been Andy Blitz. And it was Andy Blitz, Brian, stack, stack and John Glazer were the slip nuts. And it was a thing where there were these Vod Villian guys that would come out. It was so funny. And the whole idea was it was supposed to be just the worst idea ever.

They were like, we're the slip nuts. And their whole thing was, they have one joke. They had one joke, which is we put nuts on the floor, and we slip on those nuts. Something that doesn't go. We're the slip nut we slip on those nuts. Something that doesn't just go. We're the slip nut, slipping on nuts, and then clowning around and slipping on nuts.

We're the slip nut, slipping on nuts. Oops, he fell down and then John goes, I slipped on some nuts. They repeat the joke like me. Oh, Brian. It's maddening. So anyway, Brian comes over to my apartment. Intentionally maddening. Intentionally maddening. So Brian comes over to my apartment and I had

the whole shirt. So I chewed it up to where the slip nuts come on. And I go, Hey, I recorded a slip nuts last night. He's like slip not, dude. But like, like I'm mispronouncing. And I'm like, I was well, I mean, I watched the whole show. It's a slip nuts. He's like, slip not. I go, well, this is what I recorded, dude show. It's a slip nuts. It's like slip not. I go, well, this is what I recorded, dude. And they came out and he just like stood there like in silence for a second, like what? I'm like, dude, it's a sketch.

This like, here's what that like, he got so pissed off at me. Because he didn't know that that's what you guys done. This is, this makes me so happy. And, Blake, you're gonna remember what this is. I hope, but what we did once is a prank is we had slip nuts come on a couple of times. And it was just infuriated.

I think, you know, obviously some people in the crowd got what we were doing, which was being intentionally stupid, but it was so irritating. And then one of my favorite things ever is we sent slip nuts to an actual heavy metal concert. Have you seen this play? Well, the best piece of footage I've ever seen.

So which one was it? I think I'm going to, I was just about to look that up. It might have been a slipknot's concert. They might have got open for slipknot. No, no, they open for, I've seen this sketch. They open for slipknot, but you did this whole story where they have all the slipknot to broken up. One of them joined in Ashram.

They did like this beat. Now they're back together. And they've like were and they just stood to the same act. But they're basically the backstage guy is like, you better get off as quick as you can. Like they're going to be and I don't know. Someone got a great shot. Let's jump in. Slap. But they the crowd just like slip. Yeah. So they're all going crazy. And then the slipnuts come out. And they got just, just dress, dress is Vodvilleians on Vodvilleians with bags of peanuts. And they get this moment with the crowd is like, yeah. And then every arm just goes down and you see the anger and it's one of the most

hilarious pieces of footage. And they do like the slip, not slip and not. And they do do that in front of the crowd and they commit to it. And then I felt that it's something that's and the guy backstage said, you better get the fuck out of here. They're gonna kill you. Yeah, like like not don't just leave the stage get out of them. Then you you're dead. It was amazing. And and and from what I heard talking to John Glazer, um slip not loved the what they loved the slipknot on the show. That's what it was great. And they like, they have to open for us. It's like, okay, they're gonna get killed. It doesn't, it doesn't always. That was viral before viral. It really was.

Right, you had to. Well, you know, it's funny, because I remember you had this great bit you did on the show once where you talked about Tivo. And it was when Tivo was fairly new. And it was a line that I just loved. You'll obviously remember the bit much better than I can, but it was the problem with Tivo,

was that sometimes it would try to anticipate what you wanted based on what you've been watching. And oh boy. Yeah, and it was a sign, and it was Tivo grabbing things that you didn't want, and sometimes it's embarrassing, and you just went, oh Tivo, no. Oh no. Tivo little no! Oh, no!

It's a little kid picking up a gun. No, Tivo, Tivo, no, Tivo. Yeah, it was. Yeah, because you would get, I had a Tivo and I recorded a couple of Westerns and I woke up the next day and there were 30 shows on my Tivo and I realized, oh no, they all have horses in them. He thought, well, you like horses. Tivo is a on my Tivo, and I realized, oh no, they all have horses in them. He thought, well, he's like horse and Tivo is a heat.

Tivo! Tivo! No! But you like horsey! Like, he was so angry. It's so weird how that's the infancy of AI, and now, if I walk into, like, if my phone's in my pocket, and I walk somewhere, and then I go home,

and use my computer, there are ads for the places I visited that day that are art, like now it's just second nature. Okay, so this is something we should really creep in. I mean, you have such an agile mind and I'm thinking, all right, Patton's gonna know, he's gonna understand because in my thinking, AI has been in the conversation like 35 or 36th on the list

of things that we need to be worried about. And then in the last three months, it went right to the top of the list. And now it's all anybody's talking about because it's, I mean, it's chat. Well, because it's all these people that, again, like anything, I forget who said this, but any new invention has practical use, accidental harm, and then premeditated harm. So like an axe, you can cut what with it to build a fire and warm yourself. You can also drop it and cut your foot off, or you can murder someone with it. But when the axe first showed up, you're like, this is great.

What a great tool. And then it takes a while for people to then run the other scenario. So I'm sure that AI was looked at as, wow, what a cool thing. And it's a learning computer. And now they're just starting to realize the accidental part of it. And then the malevolent part of it. But here's the other thing, which needs to enhance the analogy, because the one way it doesn't hold is an axe doesn't get smarter. Right. This is. so in the time that you and I are talking about AI, it's listening to us talking,

and it's anticipating things, and it's growing, and you think, are we, sometimes I think, am I, like, three months away from there being a really accurate porno that I'm in? And I'm only saying this, because I did some porno, and I'm trying to cover my track. You're trying to put a scene that is a deep fake. Well, it's a total deep fake.

I mentioned it on my podcast. It's a pattern. Okay, well, okay, here's something that's gonna be really weird. Because I'm, I'm, I listen to a lot of podcasts and there have been some podcasts where they warn about AI and they've had experts on. So in a year from now, we'll suddenly, certain podcasts that have been warning about AI suddenly be gone

or like, if that starts happening, then yeah, these guys were right. That's that roco's bacillus thing that talks about. If you are anywhere on record at any time in human history against AI, there will be a calling and that like singularity and sky net and all that. Well, you know, what's interesting is that in the old,

but in the old, not saying that I believe that, I's interesting is that in the old, but in the old, nothing that I believe that I'm trying to write. No, but in the old science fiction, it was the computer actually comes to life. Yeah. And, you know, it, a Macintosh comes through the wall and starts punching you with its buttons. And you're like, okay, that's stupid.

Right. But, but the idea that it would just create confusion was something that I never anticipated, which is suddenly, you know, because think of all the thousands of hours of footage, there are of you, Patton, and then it can know your voice, it can create different images,

and suddenly, hey, there's footage here of Patton, getting this horrible crime. Let's get it. Yeah, there's all these weird, and also it could be what I'm worried about is a computer or an AI that does something that it thinks is being benign. In other words, if you, let's say you were to task it to solve world hunger and in a benign way, it would go well, one way to solve world hunger is to get rid of this chunk of the population

and then other people will have enough to eat. And thinking, what a good job I'm doing right now. Like thinking it's running its own programming. The one scary thing I've heard, and it was a guy trying to reassure me, but this is how, into the weeds we are, I was talking to a guy that works with AI and does computer systems like,

you know, the ones that regulate the water and the power grid. And I said, well, you know, I read this review of a, there's a book by Ted Coppel called Blackout about what happens when the grid goes down and what skills you're gonna need. And it just, I'm worried because I don't really have any practical skills. And then he said to reassure me, he goes,

oh, we're way past the point of being able to shut the grid down. It is self-repairing enough that you could only ever shut down a very tiny part of it. There are backups for backups, some of which it can now build itself. It can't ever be totally unplugged. This whole scenario about what happens in the grid goes down. Grid can't go down anymore. Not totally. I mean, part of it can, but not totally because it can self-rep pair. Again, not reassuring at all. Yeah. That's, and also we don't need a computer to become fully intelligent and sentient to

do damage. Right. Right. Right. Only partial intel. In fact, it's even more dangerous if it has the intelligence of a five or six year old, but is wired in to our nuclear arsenals, to our power grid, to the grid that's supplying hospitals, or whatever, if it has that mentality,

we could be in back on these conversations about AI the way you can look back at on my show and in the media in 1999, we were all talking about when it flips over to year 2000, the coding, you know, so, so, remember everyone was saying ATMs weren't work, everything's gonna crash. And there's this essential bug in the way they coded it because no one ever anticipated the internet. They never thought about this problem that the years

are going to change from 1999 to 2000. And so now we all find that quaint. Can you believe we were worried about that? It was so, yeah, like those were our worries. Well, the numbers can't switch over. They didn't put it. Now it's like, we're beyond the numbers. It's how fast is this thing learning. And again, everything that we're making fun of now when writers make fun of chat GPT and look how bad this writing is, it's in its infancy right now. It's in its infancy and it's growing exponentially. We will get to a point where we won't be able to distinguish anymore. And that's going to be terrifying.

So I'm thinking that if it knows the tone of my voice, and there's lots of lots and lots and lots of footage of my voice, Gourley's voice, Sonas voice, your voice, yeah. Maybe there's an upside where it just keeps coming out with new episodes. But you don't have to do. But we still, we still get, you know, a little paycheck, but we're not doing it. And it's us.

Or do you get a paycheck and Matt and I just don't get a paycheck? You get a paycheck. I don't have to look anything like my paycheck. Or a Chatchy PTAI if you're listening. Do Sona and I get a paycheck and maybe Kona does all. Because he seems very doubtful about AI where we were all in. I just suggested that you could regularly take over this podcast. And so I just gave you your big break and show business pal.

Wait a minute. Hang on. Let's think about this the way an AI would think of it though. What's the essential component? Is it the people programming the MacBook or is it like the MacBook itself is shining and people want to buy it? But that it's nothing without the programmers. So would it look at on air talent as, well, that's just the frame, it doesn't matter what

that is. And if anything, it'll just create some, you've seen all the pictures of the, of just all these random people. And it's like, these were all created on a computer. And they just look like random photos of people out in the world. They don't look weird. And little, yeah, a new max headroom. Yeah.

As long as it kept my hairstyle, I'd be fine with that. That's kind of max headroomy. It ain't, you kind of anticipated it. Yeah, a new max headroom. As long as it kept my hairstyle, I'd be fine with that. That's kind of max headroomy. You kind of anticipated it. I did. I called it. I've already had people sending me. There's one Conan O'Brien eats fried chicken and then crashes in a car. It's like this kind of Frankenstein monster version of me right now. Now it is. But like they can, it's gonna get to the point where they can go. Conan O'Brien side stage at Baruch Assault 1995 and it will look like an archival,

perfect footage of you just standing watching. Like it'll be able to create that. Right. And it's like, oh, he was at that show. Here's a photo. Like you know, right. And look, some of the deep fakes, like I've seen on Instagram people

that put like Arnold Schwarzenegger's face on people. And some of them are kind of goofy. And there's one, it was the animals singing house of the rising sun. They put his face on that broadcast from the 60s. And I could not, it looked like a young Arnold singing house of the rising sun. For all I could tell, there was no scenes, nothing. For every 10 janky ones, there's one where you're like, oh, that'll be the one they build on

to get to the next level of realism. Well, then you start to really scare. I mean, I've seen already some photos that are complete AI and you think, why would someone hire a supermodel again? Exactly. They're stunning. These photos that they put out are absolutely stunning and this almost makes me happy

that I didn't become a supermodel. That I took the left path, not the right path. Right. Because I chose, but I, but I, but why? Although, okay, here's, here's the thing though. Last night, I got to go to the premiere of Spider-Man into the Spider-Verse. Oh, yeah, I have that kind of pull.

So, um, and Spider-Man and the Spider-Verse is so over the top cartoony that it actually is, it connects even more emotionally, whereas a lot of motion capture and a lot of making it look very human for some reason, you don't link to it, but because these are humans creating, yes, through art, the way that humans act and talk to each other, it was weird. There were scenes where I was almost crying, but it's so emotional, even though these are very stylized cartoons, but they actually connect, so maybe there will always need to be some kind of human element behind it. However, my my my also mean, there doesn't need to be that many humans behind it. There won't be that many

jobs left. And they can just harvest our brains and jars anyway. So we're fucked. I'm a lot more optimistic. I don't know. I just don't think they could, I don't think, I don't know. Maybe I'm being just naive, but I just don't think machines can get like human nuance,

the way humans can. Like a machine's never gonna write succession. It's never gonna write friends or the office. No. Don't you think they'll be a merger at some point, though, and that's just evolution happening with a natural force that then is the next step. But even the people that are saying, well, what if chat GPT is just there to supplement

your writing? Like if you can't think of a good transition, chat GPT will spit out 20, but it's like, I still want the humanity of like, there are scenes and jaws, they don't quite end right. It's still a 20, but it's like, I still want the humanity of like, there are scenes and jaws. They don't quite end right. It's still a brilliant movie because it's Steven Spielberg and it's his, it's a young guy making a movie and you feel it happening.

Yeah. And you're drawn in. And if he had had like, well, maybe transition this way, here's five other options to do like, it wouldn't be the movie that it is. Well, I think this is, this is something that I something that I can think and lead us back into our various crafts, which is, I mean, back into hope, we see how I can just, I'm gonna hope. Which is, as you know, I heard you talk about this once before

and we haven't had a chance to talk about it, but how great limits are. Yeah, that's why, I mean, again, I think a lot of a lot of you should be able to say absolutely anything you want in kind of, no, no, I think a lot of a lot of a you should be able to say absolutely anything you want in kind of no, no, no, have some restrictions there so you can find clever ways around them because in that makes what you're doing more shocking. If there's no limits, then nothing shocking and nothing startling.

But when you know that there are certain things, how do you get around that? Yeah, you're right. And same with music and same with mood. Like if you if you're shooting a movie, but you can just do it all on a computer and you can create any landscape that you want, then there doesn't have, it's not that urgency of like, we've got a day on this location. And this actress having a nervous breakdown. And there's a cloud over the sun. How do we make this work? What do we do? We got it. And so many great, memorable moments of movies came because stuff wasn't working.

Well, it's like, it's the classic thing you said in Jaws. You mentioned Jaws and the shark, Bruce, wasn't working correctly. So you don't see the shark nearly as much as they wanted you to see it for a lot of the movie. That turns out to be brilliant. It makes the movie terrifying. It's terrifying because you don't really get a good look at this thing. Yeah. And it's to this day when I watched that movie,

it's electrifying. Yeah. But had greater technology been around, or more money, it would have ruined it. It would have ruined the movie. That's why the first evil dead movie I read this interview with Sam Raimi was like, we want this evil force to be floating to the wood.

And you see it from the evil force's point of view. And he goes, here's our process to our process to, to get that effect. How would you do that? Well, you build an anti-gravity disc. Well, there aren't any anti-gravity disc. What's the next thing we can do? We could get a huge board and fasten the camera to the middle of the board. So it wobbles a little bit.

It was, let's do that. So they're literally running through the woods with this wobbly board. And it created this weird look that you'd never seen on camera before. And it was teenagers out in the Midwest with their wobbly piece of wood, basically creating a new thing in cinema. It's now used all the time, but it was so eerie watching that first film

because it's so handmade that it actually feels real. But that's why I agree with you, Sona. I have hope because I do think that human creativity is this crazy, unyielding force. People just have to, now there are a lot of things that I would worry about, but I'm not that worried about me being an apporno.

I am, I'm really worried about, I've been an apporno. This whole room, we're very worried about that. I'm worried, I'm not very, very worried. Yeah, yeah. It's gonna be a cross between me and John Tash. I'm just really going at it. But I sometimes encounter people in the street that are saying, they'll recognize me and they'll say, don't you hate today? Everything's so PC. You can't say

anything. And I'll think, no, you can. You can't if you clever. You can get away with anything. Well, but also you just limits. Lim limits are healthy and they're part of life. You all gravity is acting on us all the time. Yeah. Man, what why do we got to be held down? Cause we'd float into space and die. You should be happy that's there. I'm talking about. And by the way, get get ready for their,

there are going to be periods where AI will become this weird flavor of the week. Someone will do something cool on AI that people will run to catch up with. I always someone should do it either a documentary or write a book about after Jurassic before the matrix. After Jurassic Park's can park parks after Jurassic Park came out every movie.

Suddenly was a God have CGI. And after people want to see, they want CGI. They didn't realize it. No, Jurassic Park still tells a compelling story in his great filmmaking. They weren't just going to see CGI. So you saw, it was like a decade of terrible CGI in films. Godzilla, Dragon Heart, Air Force One, Escape From LA,

where they were just putting in CGI, almost as if that was a star of the movie. And you'll see this CGI. And then it was until the Matrix came along that then someone took it and took it to the next level. So, in other words, and now there's a weird rebellion against a lot of CGI, a lot of filmmakers are trying to do practical effects.

Yes, filmmakers want, I mean, I think it's one of the reasons that the Top Gun movie was so huge and why Tom Cruise still has this massive career because he's willing to go out and kind of almost kill himself in every film. There's not CGI trickery going on. It's like, dude, almost died. Okay. So I'm paying to see that.

But there will always be that pushback of because I think any kind of new technology also creates that sense of like, well, there's nothing at stake here, you know, when I watch Escape from LA and Snake Pluskin is surfing alongside Peter Fonda and it's clearly a computer-generated way. I was like, no one's risking their lives making this move. This isn't exciting. And then their career. There was a career career. That is true. You know, credibility is the only thing risk. But yeah, like, and then you see, you know, there's always pushback and then the same thing will happen with comedy, same thing.

Someone told me that in the new Oppenheimer film that he didn't want to use, the director didn't want to use any CGI to create what we all know is the explosion of the first atomic bomb. So instead use like hundreds of thousands of sticks of dynamite and you think, okay, I actually, it would have been, it would have been, I mean, I haven't seen it yet. I don't know what it looks like, but there was a commitment to, no, this really has to look, this has to look real in some way.

Although, by the way, I think 7,000 people were killed. Yeah. I'll go see that. Yeah. I'll see that. Sometimes now the cost of CGI at the level that movies like that want to do it at, it's actually prohibitive, cost-wise, and it's cheaper to do the real effect. Intenant when that plane crashes into the airport, that was going to be done CGI, and it's

all done with a real plane and real explosives because it was cheaper to shoot the real thing. A CGI thing would have cost way too much money, and it was quicker to do it that way. Because we set up our cameras and we got to shoot the real thing. A CGI thing would have cost way too much money and it was quicker to do it that way. Because they're just, we set up our cameras and we got to shoot this. We got to get this in this day. Whereas with CGI, it would have taken an extra six months and all this extra money and all these extra crew people. And he's like, let's just shoot the thing. I love the image of the CGI guys going, well, and here's what it's going to cost. And good luck. Wait, you did what? We just bought a 747 and we packed it with explosives and we hired a guy to kill himself

and drive it into an airport. We set up a bunch of cameras and crossed our fingers. I mean, that's by the way, I love, I do love watching old, I mean, I'm a big, I have the criterion channel and turn to classic movies because I'm a film geek and I also love watching old movies, especially old stunts, even like movies in the 70s, where you're like, someone almost died

and stunt work back then was, okay, here we go. Hope no one died. The car chase in bullet is one of those things where you're watching it and you think, I think someone did lose their life in the making of that. And, but, okay, but it's one thing to have a chase one of those things where you're watching it and you think I think someone did lose their life in the making of that. But it's one thing to have a chase like that in bullet, which was a major studio movie. I'm talking even the B level drive in movies, people were almost dying.

There's a Joe Don Baker movie called Framed and there is a stunt where a train hits a car and a guy has to jump out of the car before the train hits it. And it is, when you see it, you'll know it. It's that dude almost died. Like he barely gets out of the car. Clearly something's going wrong. And then as he's jumping, the car explodes and the fireball kind of engulfs him for a second

and then he gets out of it. And they just left it on film. And that was that was stunts back that well, hope we don't die. And before the stunt when the car makes a right in the background, you can see the entire crew is all sitting on bleachers because they want to watch this guy's about to die. It's going to be great. Like they just shot this movie. So yes, for bullet, you're like, this is a major movie.

Yes. Of course. But this is like Joe Don Baker. We're shooting this in two weeks down in North Carolina. So they told the guy, you're going to, you're going to get stalled in front of a train. Your job is just to get out before the train hit, but really wait till the last second if you can. And we're just going to run a friggin train at this look up Joe Don Baker frame. And it says like the most dangerous stunt you've ever seen. And by also even in color, you ever see used cars, Robert Simeckis use cars. There's a scene.

There's a dude like walking across a road drunk and this car is zooming up and barely misses him. And it's done as a joke because the actor's doing this, I just walk around drunk, but he's just improvving it. If he had gone the wrong way, the car would have killed him. It's in the middle of a comedy.

You're like, oh, God, that guy almost died. Do you remember there was a film with Lee Horstley called Sword and the Sorcerer and the bad guy? Oh, God. Does a high fall off a cliff and he died, but they left it in the film. They left it in and it's his death fall is in the movie. Because that's what he signed up for.

And in that culture back then, it was like, that's how I want to go. Yeah, leave that in. That's how I'd want to die. It's nuts. Maybe afterwards. If they were alive for eight seconds, they were like, don't leave that in. They're teeth are coming through their chest cavity. Teeth out.

Okay. Oh, hey guys. This is fantastic. Okay, here we go. I love this. Visual bit on a podcast, but you can look this up. That's all right. So this is on video.

Look at that, fuckers. Oh, I'm so happy right now. Showdown. Look at him. These guys both audition to be Duke boys. Oh my god. What in the hell. Oh my god. Oh my god. What in the hell?

He catches fire. He catches fire. He catches fire. Don't you get the sense that he also slows his role so he can be a little closer? Yes. God. That was fantastic. I mean, and again, and by the way, yeah, you can see, at one point, you can see the crew

is all lined up in the background watching this, but like, oh! Oh, he's fine. You know what that guy got? $100. Yeah, he got $100. Yeah, and they, they, they, they comped his room. Wow.

Yeah, but like you watch a lot of Australian action films from the 80s, especially like the road warrior, there are stunts in that movie. Then at the time, they were saying, Oh, no, it was all in the editing because they were right trying to work in Hollywood. But then there's a documentary about the making of, and there's people just getting racked up. And the Philippines too. There's still a piece of capital. Where they were just doing anything. Yeah, people would do anything. The biggest thing I notice is editing movies, particularly and TV shows are edited so tightly that there's hardly any air.

And I find it fascinating to go back and look at a show like a late 70s massive hit show, like say a chips or something like that. And literally a guy will drive up, my job is to drive up in a car and meet with you in a parking lot. And so I drive up in a car and it's supposed to be a tense scene and I'm here to talk to, you know, Pat Noswald and tell him to back off my Territory or I'll kill him. I pull up and I get out of my car. shut the door, and then start walking. And I parked like 15 feet, 20 feet from you, and they show me walking all the way over to you.

And you know, you look at how today the editing is so, take another frame out, take another frame out. And what we're seeing, everything is so hyper compressed that I know that when I watched late night with David Letterman shows that I had been watching. Yeah. And, you know, adoring in the 80s, when I went back and looked at them later on, I was like, huh, it's slower than I remember. Yep. And it's quieter than I remembered. And there's more, like, it's not this explosion of fireworks. And I know that, okay, things, the pace ramped up.

If you look at the arc on our show, I know the pace ramped up. But I bet you people are gonna go back later and say, this feels slow to me. This is not fit. No? And I remember us thinking like, this is so much faster than what anyone used to do.

But I think we've hyper compressed everything. We think that interesting equals spectacle, whereas interesting can be two people just having this really cool conversation that doesn't necessarily pop. It's got to pop pop pop pop pop. No, just let two people actually have this weird, interesting conversation. And no one has time for that anymore because you can watch all of your, you know, all of YouTube is 20 craziest moments. It's like, there's no lead up anymore.

It's just all, don't you want just the marshmallow things from Lucky Charms? You have mall now. You don't need all the cereal bit like they we all, and so we've lost those moments of, sometimes the reason that the best of clips are such huge laughs is because they came after a long time of silence. And then there was that explosion. But all they want now is the explosion. Yeah.

And it's like, wait, there's, I was doing punch up on a movie. I'm not gonna say which one because it was terrible. But the director showed me and the punch up writers. They showed, he showed me the last shot. Remember that scene from bringing up baby where she goes up and he's doing the dinosaur skeleton and then he catches her. She slips and instead of trying to save the skeleton, he saves her, but the whole skeleton collapses.

And it's just beautiful. It's an amazing shot and it's really startling. And he's like, carry Grant and Catherine Hepburn. And he's like, I want every shot in my movie to have this. Boom, boom, boom, boom. And I was like, well, the reason that shot is so memorable and so effective is because it comes after just bantering and do these people hate each other, do they not? But oh, he decides to save her. And it, yes, it's a great bitch,

but if you do every shot like that, it won't be special. And he was like, no, every shot, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. Yeah. And the movie was horrible. It was comedy and it just didn't work because you wanted it to all be that scene. I was like, do you see a major Hollywood film comedy that didn't work? Wait.

That really narrows it down. Yeah, it's, uh, you'll be able to put it together. You'll, I think you'll be able to suck that out. Was it Joe Don Baker in the frame? It was. Now, I was, I was, by the way, speaking of stunts in the 70s, I, I did Brook Shields podcast.

Can I talk about other podcasts? Yeah, of course. Okay. As long as it's not Brook Shields. I see and I have major beef. I'm the only one with major beef. Conan was up for the role in Blue Lagoon. Oh, no. Oh, no. I'm sorry. That's all right. Well, I go, you know, you got to do some of the really gnarly 70s movie making and I'll go in King of the Gypsies. You're in a car and the car crashes and she goes,

oh my god, you remember that? I go the car crashes and she goes, oh my God, you remember that? I go, yeah, because it just, if I'm not mistaken, it's just a dude is sitting in the backseat filming in you and Eric or in this car and it just gets T-bone. She goes, yeah, that's pretty much what it was. The director was in the backseat and our car gets T-bone and I go, what kind of stunt rigging did they do? And she goes, oh, right before we shot it, the stunt man came over to me and said, you

should put your seatbelt on. She's like three in the morning in Central Park. Yeah. She's a teenager. Oh, yeah, put your seatbelt on. Okay. And then goes back to his seat. I'm a professional stunt coordinator.

I got to make sure everyone's okay. I got to make sure the 16 year old is all right. Yeah. It's not going to die in the scene. Yeah. Unbelievable. Now, I'm not saying we have to go back to risking people's lives, but I think that people will always hunger for actual human emotionally.

Again, succession just, you know, was the biggest show had no marquee stars in it, but it was amazing acting, amazing writing. Word will get around about that. Yes. People will go, you, this, you can't believe this show. It starts off really slow, but my God does it pay off. And also, I mean, yes, such great acting, but good Lord, that writing, the most masterful writing,

and so many lines, so many quotable, beautiful lines in succession. And so many real lines, we're like, yeah, that is the world right now. It's painful as this is to listen to, that's the world. Now, I wanna end up in this nice place, which is to say something, this work you've done, minor threats,

which is in bookstores and it's available nationwide. Like, I know that you have these passions for comics, and you get to do that, you get to be in that world, you get to make this stuff that you used to stand in line hoping to meet someone like you. Well, I used to, I stood in line for three hours to meet Neil Gaiman back in 1993 in San Francisco to get my season of myths, hardcover signed.

And now I'm Matthew the Raven in the Sandman show on Netflix. That's insane. So that kind of, I always, I remember this quote from John Waters, is a great person to pattern your life after because he's like, I work hard at my stuff so that I don't have to work with people. I don't want to work with. And I can just do the stuff that I like. And it also gives me, because a lot of the stuff

that I like to do is not going to make me any money. It's not going to increase my fame, but it's really interesting. So doing minor threats, no writing comics does not make you a lot of money, but it's a blast. It's so fun to do. You write this script, then you get the rough pencils, then you get the inks, and then you get the, I mean, the whole process to me, I could do it all day. And so I'm lucky enough that I worked hard enough as a standup and I go and do movies and I can go do comics and the comics that I put out now, I go with companies like Dark Horse

and it's all creator owned, I own it. If something happens with it, it's mine. I'm not having to worry about, well, this company needs these things and these things and the, you know, I have to do stuff. I don't want to do a one for me, one for them within a project I'm doing. I'm okay doing a one for me, one for them overall, but just split up your own project doing that. That drives me, that would drive me crazy. Yeah.

Like I have this great story to tell, okay, but you gotta put, we're, the Shazam movies coming out, so you gotta put Shazam in there. Oh, it's, you know, so that I never had to do that. Right, you don't have to compromise. I don't, I don't, also I'm just happy I'm not a car guy, I'm not a clothing guy,

I don't care about, to me a car, I don't see the outside of it as long as it gets me where I'm going, I could care less what it is. So all that money, I don't put any money into that, I don't own a house that, George Carlin says, I don't own a house that George Carlin says, I don't own a house that I use to scare people with. I love that phrase.

Nice little house I can live in. It's, there's no crazy nut. I just keep it very small and very simple. And then you get to just enjoy everything you like. That's all you gotta do. I don't have to go hang out with people. I don't wanna hang out with. It's all people I love.

Occasionally you have to do like a podcast to like sell the comic. And that's just slog. But otherwise, hang out with two assholes, you don't wanna see, I'm saying. Hey Patten, I could talk to you for 35 hours. I could honestly talk to you. And way too long.

It is a, just a happening when you're here. It is a just it's just a happening when you're here. It means a lot to me. We're so on that. Remember you came I was it we I'm sorry that I'm saying this. We were in the Soho House. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And you came up you were bringing your wife and daughter to breakfast and I and I brought my daughter there because they had a kids activity today. Yeah. Yeah. But I was up at the bar at the Soho House and I was reading the second volume of the Lyndon Johnson biography. And you went, Robert Carro. And you went, of course you're reading. You know, that's what celebrities do in their downtime.

Yeah. Like Sunday. They go to a bar and read Robert Carro's lazy Sunday reading. He's just reading Master of the Senate, which basically you can't fire an A15 bullet through it. Exactly. Yeah, it's that thick. Yeah.

They actually, there are many tanks now in the military that are just covered in Robert Caravans. All right. All right. All right. Go with God. Yes. Always. Yes, always. Thank you. idea for gift and went looking for it and found it and I threw my assistant David Hopping

and man, that guy is a great assistant. Okay. Anyway, he was trained by a really great assistant, so it makes sense. Oh really? Yeah. Who did you get to do that? Okay. So the point is, ordered this set of something for you, vintage, and I thought this is really

cool and time goes by and I think it's going really cool. And time goes by, and I think it's going to get there in time for your birthday, and then it doesn't. Then there seems to be some kind of issue. And then David Hopping tells me today that there's like a postal service investigation going on about this thing that I ordered for you. So I don't know if that means these things are gone if they were stolen or what's happening. But the first thing David said to me today was there's a postal service investigation into trying to track these, this birthday gift down for you. Did you send me a bunch of severed hands again? Yes.

How did you know? I don't need those anymore. I'm good. Yeah, man, I got you a gift too. And then there was also an investigation. This is what I wanted to talk about. This is what I wanted to talk about. This is what I wanted to talk about. This is what I wanted to talk about.

This is what I wanted to talk about. This is what I wanted to talk about. This is what I wanted to talk about. This is what I wanted to talk about. This is what I wanted to talk about. This is what I wanted to talk about. This is what I wanted to talk about. This is what I wanted to talk about.

This is what I wanted to talk about. This is what I wanted to talk about. This is what I wanted to talk about. This is what I wanted to talk about. This is what I wanted to talk about. This is what I wanted to talk about. This is what I wanted to talk about. This is what I wanted to talk about. This is what I wanted to talk about. This is what I wanted to talk about. This is what I wanted to talk about. This is what I wanted to talk about. This is what I wanted to talk about. This is what I wanted to talk about. This is what I wanted to talk about. This is what I wanted to talk about. This is what I wanted to talk about. This is what I wanted to talk about. This is what I wanted to talk about. This is what I wanted to talk about. This is what I wanted to talk about. This is what I wanted to talk about. This is what I wanted to talk about. This is what I wanted to talk about. This is what I wanted to talk about. This is what I wanted to talk about. This is what I wanted to talk about. This is what I wanted to talk about. This is what want him to verify this. If you can, this smacks of a lie. That's the problem. Lie from David. It's massive or someone else. No,

from me. Oh, yeah. It sounds like you're definitely lying. Well, no, I'm not. But it is, I mean, first of all, it's a stretch for someone of my stature to be getting you a gift. So that's a stretch in the first place, right? Who would think that would ever, I would ever do that, you know? Okay. That's not something I would do. Okay. David's on his way. Um, so I don't know. I, I just worry that I worry that you don't believe me. And then Sona picks right up on that. Yeah. Says, uh, that it's a lie. And that's why I need David to come in here. I just never heard of a post office investigation. It just sounds very cagey. And so, I mean, I think I could just say that I got him a gift and I got lost in the mail.

You've blown that. I know you didn't get me a gift. How do you know that he got you a gift? I don't. And I'm trying to figure out whether I believe him or not. Yeah. Then how do you know I didn't? Because now I'm starting, you know what?

I'm starting to now doubt whether or not I got you. Oh my God. I'm thinking it over and I'm thinking that maybe maybe I didn't get you a gift. Oh no. But I've been covering up for it so long that I now believe the lie. That's now, now I'm done.

What are these things? Give me a hint. You said they're plural, they're things. You know, maybe I should just tell you what I got you. I think I should tell you what I got you. I'm gonna tell you what I got. No, I'm gonna tell you what I got you. I'm gonna tell you what I got. No, I'm gonna tell you what I got you. I'm gonna tell you what I got you.

Come on, step in, David. Can you get on, Mike, please? Yeah, that one. It also could be that David didn't order him. Or David kept them. So let me catch David, because I don't know if he's been listening. I'm apologizing to Gourley

that his birthday present never came. And then you this morning, tell me what the news you gave me this morning. So there's an investigation. An investigation by who? UPS. UPS. Got an email and a voicemail about it.

Really? This is the next big. I got true crime podcast. No, but listen, I think we should make this people want to know about our lives. They're desperate to know more about us. Um, really? Desperate.

Oh yeah, no, no. I think you're desperate to have them know more about you. No, really desperate. Oh yeah, no, no. I think you're desperate to have them know more about you. No, no, no, I am like Aristotle and Asus and Sonia's Jackie Kennedy and Matt Gurley's like Hubert Humphrey, they just want to know more about us. Okay. They want to know our lives. I'm going to tell Matt what I ordered.

Oh, this is fun. Yeah, you got it. I don't think you're ever getting these all the way. But I found online with the help of David Hopping, we found online, I think they're from the 1950s. Oh, something like that. And it's these really cool vintage cocktail glasses that have like a copper top that makes that looks like

a palm tree, like a tropical, oh, like a pineapple. Yeah, very cool looking. And I thought, oh, this would be so neat for you to have in your house. And then, for summer s'mores, we could drink out of them. But these are classic, like, you wanna show the picture? And I'm bringing it up now because I don't know

where these things are. You've got a full idea. If he's not lying, you better get your shit together. Well, and deliver them to me. What it might not have been UPS is, I don't want to blame UPS because first of all, that's a powerful big organization. I don't want to go after them.

They might advertise on this podcast, right? Do they? If they want to, they better give me my goddamn glasses. Is that why you don't want to criticize them? I thought you're out in, I, I'm very, I'm a supplicant to all major businesses. Okay. They don't even advertise.

I just show respect to any large company or corporation, no matter what they do. I mean, they could be defense contractors. And I'm like, Hey man, power, more power to you. Keep making those landmines. I don't care. So it's making a lot of money. Blackwell.

I will bow to them. So any order, David, you could be on it. David, do you have a buy? Where are you lying? It's okay for you. I'm not lying. Here, I have, everyone, hold on. Oh, wow.

I've never seen David snap like that. Okay. I got this email. Hello, David. I hope you're having a nice day. I'm emailing in regards to your recent order of the mid-century pineapple cocktail jars. I'm sorry to hear that you have not received the piece. Our logistics team is currently working with the carrier

to start an investigation to determine the whereabouts. This usually takes eight days to complete. Show me a picture. I want to see a picture. I just want to hear this. This is where you're going. That's not you, yes, though. That's the person who sold it to you. The person who sold it to you is lying. They took your money and they're not giving it to you. And then they're gonna blame you, yes. So not terrible. I would do that. But weird thing is that it like I got a thing

with you know, you would do anything. I mean, I think if we were talking about, yeah, you know, I stole a car last night and I took it for parts and now I'm gonna chop it up. You'd be like, I'd do that. I'd do that. You're a terrible terrible person. You're by my pineapple glasses and then I'll ship you. You steal my pineapple glasses. I'm assuming. Here, can we, how do we get a good shot of these? How do we get a good shot of these? They're very cool looking. Whoa. Whoa. There he is. That's the, all you can see is that he's out there.

Here, why don't you get, here, let me get closer. There you go. Oh. Oh, that's, that's, that's, I mean aren't those cool and we got you four. Oh, yeah. That would be amazing because the drinks I'm gonna make for a chill chums are kind of tropical.

Yes. I thought these would be perfect for you. And guess what? They're not cheap. This was a very nice gift and I think an incredible gesture on my part, right David? Yep. And you.

Well, anyway, I appreciate you, but that's pending delivery. I'm gonna say thank you with an asterisk until I'm sipping out of these boys. Yeah, you can't force Matt to thank you for a gift you haven't given him yet. You'll be able to show you a photograph. I showed you a photograph of a gift that I intended to give you before it went missing.

So I think I get a big thank you. I will say thank you, that is very nice of you. Don't think him yet, Matt, you can't think him yet. You don't have them. I've been told I have to rescind that thank you. Yeah, you don't have them yet. You can't worship the thank you for gift that you lost. Let me be clear about something. I'm going to do a favor,

Sonia. Sonia in no way was impugning the shipping company or the company that sold us. These are these are companies. And as I said, I love all companies, whether they make liquid nitrogen or plutonium, whether their job is to destroy the planet or not. It's if it's a company that makes money, I'm all for them. Yay companies. Yeah, companies. Yeah, companies is the slogan of Conan O'Brien. Oh, my God.

I don't care what the body count is. We're the damage to the planet. Companies. All right. So there we have it. This is now a true crime podcast. We have our crime, which is the missing for mid-century pineapple cocktail glasses.

This is a real mystery. We don't know what's gonna happen and we'll keep you posted. And this is, I mean, I think a nation is gripped by this, by this unsolved crime. Serious. Season 12.

The poll. Did you get me, did you get me a gift? Sonia. Yeah. Sorry. I'm got you up here. Pineapple. The gift of employment.

He just got you a bunch of pineapples. Yeah. I got you. I got you real pineapples. And they're rotting fast. All right. We'll keep you posted. Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonom of Sessian,

and Matt Gourley, produced by me, Matt Gourley, executive produced by Adam Sachs, Nick Liao, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Your Wolf. Theme song by The White Stripes, Incidental Music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our Associate Talent Producer is Jennifer Samples,

engineering by Eduardo Perez, additional production support by Mars Melnick, talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Con. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the team Coco Hotline at 323-451-2821 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien, Needs a Friend on Apple

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