Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Rashida Jones

Episode Date: October 19, 2020

Actress and producer Rashida Jones feels fine about being Conan O’Brien’s friend. Rashida sits down with Conan to talk about the importance of diversifying your skills, creating a documentary about her father Quincy Jones, and working with Bill Murray on her new film On the Rocks. Later, Conan responds to a voicemail about a man with no name. Got a question for Conan? Call our voicemail: [phone]. For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com.

Hi, my name is Rashida Jones, and I feel fine about being Conan O'Brien's friend. Really? That's it. Fine. Just fine. You know what I'm getting? I'm getting a lowercase F. It was like three lowercase Fs.

Fine. Hey there, and welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, the podcast where I force people to talk to me, which is, it sounds like I'm kidding, but it's really not, especially during this pandemic. I'm so starved to talk to people, and this is a complete scam. I apologize to everyone out there, but we're having a blast. We're having a lot of fun. Joined as always by my trusty assistant, Sonamah Sessian.

It was your birthday yesterday. Happy birthday, Sonam. It was. Thank you. Happy birthday. Here's Matt Gorley. Hey, Matt. Hi, guys.

Yeah. So did you do anything fun for your birthday? Yeah, I did. What'd you do? I went to Costco. Mm-hmm. Then I saw my nieces. Then I went to dinner.

Okay. I've heard of better birthdays. I'll be honest with you. Costco's all I wanted. No, no. I'm just saying I went on a hike with my mom. That's a no-go for me. Not with your mom.

Oh. I mean, but your mom is, she's great. I love your mom. I love my mom too. Yeah. I mean, I just said that. I don't know her that well, but she's lovely. You know her pretty well.

And yeah, she is a lovely person. So yeah. But a hike with her. Just a hike with my mom and Costco. And then where'd you go to the old Red Rooster? What's your favorite restaurant? We went to a place called Cafe Santorini in Pasadena, which is a lovely balcony. It's very nice that we ate a kebab dinner, which is, I know you're going to laugh.

No, it's just. It's all I like to eat, really. All you want in life is a kebab and some dried fruit rollup. And you're set for life, right? It's true. That's true. And you're happy. You're a cheap date.

Oh, come on. No, it's good. I mean, what's wrong? Is that an insult? How'd you go? Come on. I don't know, because I don't want to be a cheap date. I want people to work it.

Come on. Well, anyway. No, I give up. Yeah. I walk with your mom, Costco, and a kebab. Who could ask for more? Gourly, what's happening on your end? Oh, nothing.

You know, just not leaving my house. Yeah. Well, you tell a fine story. And I can't wait for the movie. I can't wait for the screenplay. Well, I'm not going to Costco. I can tell you that much. No.

No. Oh, you're worried about catching the... No, no. I'm not worried about that, can I? The COVID is a snob. It doesn't go to Costco. What? It likes to hang out at higher-end stores.

Come on. It's true. I've actually talked to COVID, and COVID is like, I don't think so. You ain't heard much. Too much riff-riff. I'll see you at Lord and Taylor. It hangs out at, yeah, high-end, mostly high-end stores. I think Costco can be high-end.

Of course it can. I love Costco. I love the Costco card. I can't see you in Costco. I feel like you feel overwhelmed. I loved it. What do you mean? Like, because there's a lot going on, and I feel like you just walk in and be like,

ugh. No. I loved it. I loved it. I bought 900 pounds of anything. I just... All I said was, I don't even care what it is, I just want 900 pounds of it. It does seem like you get lost and then end up staying the night in there.

Yeah. Oh, you're saying I would? Not one? You mean I specifically would? Yeah. Like, you'd get lost in there and couldn't find the door, and then the lights would go off and you'd just sleep in an economy-sized bag of cereal. If you're going to get lost anywhere, get lost in a Costco.

If you're going to be trapped anywhere, get trapped in a Costco. When the zombie apocalypse comes, I will go to a Costco, and I'll just hang out there. I mean, I'd eat 800 pounds of sugar pops. I would sleep on a great inflatable mattress. I'd build a fort out of giant, massive cases of Brillo pads, and the zombies wouldn't leave me alone. I'd watch nine televisions at the same time. Yeah.

That's what I would do. I love it. Oh, what a dream. I would eat only those hot dogs, those like 60-cent hot dogs. You know what? I'm going to say something, and I may be going out on a limb here, but you always know the best meat is the cheapest meat. Excuse me?

The cheapest always pay as little as possible for any meat you're ingesting, and it would guarantee to be the best for you and the highest quality. Sometimes I go to Ikea just to eat their meatballs because you can have like 20 meatballs for $1.50. Wait a minute. You go to Ikea. So you walk into an Ikea with a plate, and you don't even buy anything, you just load up on meatballs?

Oh, I can do one better than that. Amanda and I have gone there just for dinner. Not even to shop. That's not true. You've gone there just for meatballs. You went to Ikea just to eat dinner. Just to have those meatballs and whatever that lingonberry juice. Did you sit at a table that you built, and then eat your meatballs?

I wouldn't touch that MDF particle board shit. Oh, yeah. Snobby. Well, it's good enough for the rest of us. But I will eat their meatballs and how? Yeah. Full meal for $3.00. It's the best.

It's pretty good. Yeah, and it's worth it. And good company. Yeah. Nice atmosphere. I'll go with you next time, Matt. I'll go to Ikea with you guys for dinner. We'll take you for your birthday, belated birthday double date to Ikea.

That sounds good. Go and come in. You can't come. No. I can't come. I don't know. You take a lot of the attention away, and people would be like, oh, it's Conan. Excuse me.

I don't think they go, it's Conan. I think they go, oh, ha, ha, ha, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh. I have a huga. He's on icon. Oh my God. It's Conan. And then they hear corals singing and light comes in through the windows.

It's much brighter than sunlight. And I touch them and their wounds are healed. What? Oh. Anyway, yeah, I just love that. Oh, it's Conan. I don't think so. What is that, my son?

That's what my son says. Ugh. Ugh. My son's like, ugh. Every morning he goes, ugh, it's Conan. Ah. You can come. You can come to Ikea for meatball,

but you're gonna make fun of us the whole time. No, I'm not. You know me. I like to get- Yes, I do. That's why I said that. I really enjoy the good things in life, and I would go to Ikea for the meatballs.

I would go to Costco for the hot dogs. I just hang out at gas stations sometimes to work the air pump because it's free. I do. I just go to gas stations and I'm like, is the air free? And they're like, yeah. And then I just spray it into the air.

Uh-huh. Tss, tss, tss. Wasteful. And they're like, sir, are you? And I'm like, you said it was free, right? Yeah, but are you gonna inflate anything? You say it was free. And they're like, wait a minute.

Are you ka-ka-ka-ka-ga-ga-ga-ga-coon and haw. Lights, choral music, angels. No. I heal the lepers. Oh my god. Are there any lepers out there? I'll heal them. All right.

Enough of our Tom Fulery and Skull Duggery. Yes, please. We must continue. We should continue Yes. John, what should- Absolutely should. We're not done.

We're only getting started. Yes, we're just getting started and we must go on. I don't even know who we are. What was that? a Kennedy impression, and then I stopped halfway through, and it was like, John F. Kennedy with a mouthful of milkshake. Ah, yeah, why you all, why you all, ah, why you all. Swallow the milkshake, JFK!

It's Coke Hall, brain freeze! That's a Jimmy Stewart, now. Yeah, that's a Jimmy Stewart. Jimmy Stewart, your shake. With a milkshake. That's what I've just realized, is that when John F. Kennedy drinks a milkshake and doesn't swallow it,

because he's afraid of brain freeze, he turns and a gem is stored. Ash not, what you can do for your country. Ash, ask what your country can do for you, you say. Oh my God. Enough of our skull-duggery, Tom Fulery and Bill Bagary. My guest today is a talented actress, writer, and director who starred as Ann Perkins

in the hilarious NBC series Parks and Recreation, or as, I don't like to call it Parks and Rec, that's my own nickname I came up with. Now you can see her alongside Bill Murray in the new film on the Rocks, available on Apple TV plus this Friday. What can I say, I adore her, I'm excited to talk to her. Sheet of Jones, welcome.

You know, I wanna fill the listeners in on something which is, and this has not happened before, but we were all set to talk to you when we had a complete engineering meltdown on our end, the likes of which I could not hear you. I could hear you. You could hear me, I started doing a bit that I thought was hilarious

about how I really didn't wanna talk to you. Yeah, it was funny. Like what Yelp review would you give that bit? It would be like two and a half stars, but then in the review, it would be nicer than the stars, you know? So I'm doing that. And then we lose you completely.

And I was thinking, wait a minute, I was just doing that bit like, oh good, I gotta talk to Rashida, you know, knowing that you could hear me. And then thinking, what if I don't get to talk to you again because this whole thing blows up and you leave like, fuck him. Right.

And then I went into a shame spiral. So then we had a deep shame spiral. So then I'm yelling it at my mic, get a hold of Rashida's people. We're sending her something amazing today. She's like my favorite person, all true. And so I think we're sending you a pony right now. That's not amazing.

What do you mean? A pony is great. Wow. Wait, that's, I'm so sorry that you had, I can't believe that you don't have enough faith in our actual friendship to think that, or my nuanced approach to comedy to think that after all that, I would be okay.

I thought maybe you've changed in the two weeks since I last saw you. I thought maybe you've become a different person. It's possible, it's COVID times, anything's possible. I think it's okay to talk about, I'm not saying too much here, but I was on a beach and I was wearing a European Speedo and nothing else. And I ran into you and your extremely talented man Ezra

and your lovely child. And then one thing led to another and we were all back sitting in front of, sitting on a beach deck. And I'm gonna give a shout out to these people. You brought this drink that I had never heard of before. Do you remember the drink? It was this.

White claw. White claw, yes, white claw. White claw. Ezra turned me on to it, yeah. Yeah, white claw. And you guys were like, you've gotta have this, it's white claw. And I thought, what are they talking about?

And I had some of it, it's like a seltzer that I think has some, it's like a hard seltzer. I had about 15 felt nothing. You're tall. Yeah, very tall. You were very kind to drive me to the hospital. You and Ezra were saying, I'm telling you, this has become a thing, white claw.

And look, I'm gonna be very, I'm not getting paid, white claw would probably pay me not to mention them. I'm sure I'm a death knell for any product. But the next day I saw all these cool young people walking on the beach holding white claw. And I thought, you guys know what's happening. I don't. I'm a little older and Ezra's definitely

more in touch with the youth. And he had told me that an outsold, white claw outsold beer at Coachella, I think last year. It's really like making it smart. It has, it looks so beautiful cause it looks healthy. Yes, it's a beautiful can. Yeah. And it has like enough alcohol,

but then it doesn't look like it has alcohol. So like you don't feel like you're, I don't know, maybe breaking the law. Can you break the law by having open alcohol in California? I think that's a, is that a law break? Yeah. I think you were all breaking the law.

Okay. But again, so the next day I saw everybody else carrying these things around and I have to say you drink it and you're like, there's no alcohol in that. And then you try more and then you try more. And I was pouring like turpentine into it to get a kick, but it was fantastic. You only gave me one can, just one can.

I know. I'm trying to put it out there that I'm in. Yes, that's true. You gave me one can. You want people to think your tolerance is low. Why? What is the benefit of that? I don't know.

It just might, it's something to remember me by. It's something. It's a hook. Like it makes you seem sort of fragile. Yes. Like less fragile. Yeah. Vulnerable.

It feels to me feel vulnerable. Oh, Conan, look out. He has, I don't know. I'm playing around here. I just wanted to give a shout out to White Claw and how much I loved hanging out with you. Shout out to White Claw. That's what I'm sending you.

I'm sending you a pony and like seven cases. I'm calling White Claw. Sounds like a delight. Well, I know what the lady's like, trust me. I am delighted to talk to you because I've always been a big admirer of yours. And we've gotten friendly over the years. And I am so impressed with the way

that you've handled your career and made it so multi-dimensional. And I was thinking, I have this theory. And you tell me if you think I'm right. I always thought it helped as a child if you don't quite know what your niche is. You don't quite know. There are some people that early on,

they know they're a jock or they know they're this, they know they're that. And then there are some people that haven't, they don't quite know how they fit in. And I always felt part of your fuel might be that you maybe as a child didn't quite know. You know what I mean? Am I this?

Am I that? You know what I mean? Am I a? Are you trying to say that I don't excel at anything because that's how I feel. That's exactly what I was saying. Yeah, that's what you're saying, right? You excel at nothing.

No, you excel at you. But you know what I'm saying is that you have. Yes, I do, I do, I do. I do. I feel like if I had a skill, the skill would be that I'm like pretty good at several things. You know, like I don't, I definitely didn't put all my eggs in one basket

because I just didn't, I didn't have that natural gift. You know, when somebody has like an incredible voice, they have no choice, they have to be a singer and then they have to try to be the best singer of all time, which will take their talent and then add some skill to it and push them to the next level. But I definitely didn't have that thing that stood out. So I like kind of got good at a lot of things.

And also, I'll just say to my, my parents' credit, but my dad always encouraged me to be good at two things. He was, even though he obviously he believes in, you know, honing your skills and your talents, like he, he was the one who was like, diversify, diversify your skill portfolio. That's so amazing coming from your dad. I mean, major figure of the 20 slash 21st century

kind of success and clear ability that he was like saying, yeah, you got to hedge your bet. That's the kind of advice that if your dad had been like a CPA or like a pool cleaner, he'd say, yeah, don't put it all in one place. You know, that's, but it is very intelligent advice. But I think he also, I mean, he, it's, it's all within music, but he did excel at several things within music.

So he could pivot. So if he was producing and there wasn't work happening from producing, he could go try to hustle, scoring movies and then if that didn't work out, he could, he could always do arrangements and get paid for arrangements. So, you know, he had some variety within his, within his world.

So that's kind of, I think what he meant. Like he, he was like, it's fine if it's, it's both, they're both in entertainment, but just try to be good at two things, not one. I've heard you say in interviews that you're half black, half Jewish, you're bluish, which is a term I, I can't relate to that. I am not that I am 100%.

I'm 110% Irish. You're literally none of that. I am none of that. I shouldn't even be talking about being bluish because I so can't relate. But what I can relate to is as a kid, I tried a bunch of things and for a while I thought, I'm not going to be in show business.

I just have to be a good student. That's what I have to be because there's no way I'm ever going to be in show business. And then I found out that your trajectory was kind of the same in some ways, right? Very much so. I mean, I think probably what I was doing that you weren't doing,

I was rebelling against my family because, you know, I was like, oh, everybody's in show business. So I'm not going to do that because I'm going to do something dangerous, like be a lawyer. I'll show them. I'm going to be a tax attorney. That'll show them.

But it was my, you know, everything's relative. That was my way of rebelling was like deciding I was going to be an academic, you know, and a really good student. And, you know, it was just like a way to individuate. So yeah, I had the same thing as you where I was like, I'm not going to be in show business because I also, at the time,

I thought like show business is flighty. It doesn't require anything, but like the need to be looked at and seen, you know? And I think once I got over that, like my, the reason I did it was, I don't think it was because I wanted to be, oh, maybe it was, I don't know. I'm not going to psychoanalyze,

but because I wanted to be like accepted or seen or said yes to, but once I realized there was something else to it and there was like a bit of a craft and a science to it, I found it interesting. But I think I had to like make it my own first because it was so, I was so steeped in it growing up, you know? No, it almost feels like a comedy sketch

where your mother and father, both very famous accomplished people who are entertainers and then you, you know, get accepted to Yale Law School and they act like you're in a cult and they're trying to get you out. How are we gonna, what are we gonna do? Yeah. And they're coming by and they're saying,

just come and get in the van, get in the van. Get in the van, come with us. Listen, they didn't wanna deprogram me because the truth is both of my parents because they're so curious and loved reading and wanted to just absorb the world. I think they were pretty psyched that that was, that was what I wanted to do

because there's some part of them obviously were related but there's some part of them that wanted that for themselves too. And for so many reasons they didn't pursue that. And you were, would you have say that you were a nerd then growing up? Were you? Yes.

I know it's like, it's so cliche and I feel like every Hollywood actress is like, I was a nerd but I was. I was. I had a computer in 1980, was it 88? When it was not cool to have computers, very few people remember that there was a time where only nerds had computers and not the entire world.

You had a computer before Steve Jobs and then he saw yours and was like. I started Apple. He took it from me. So awkward. No, but he was like a hero to me. I mean, my Apple 2C Plus was my life. My floppy disks and my modem and my printer

and my Apple 2C Plus were my life. This is how old I am because my senior year in college, 1985, I had to write a thesis like a 100 page paper and I didn't have a computer, but there was one in the Mather House. There was in a closet in Mather House and it looked like a refrigerator

and you'd put a floppy disk in it and then it was coin operated. So you would feed coins into it and then you would get to use it for like 20 minutes. No way. No, and so I went and I got all these coins and I had them in a red bucket and I was jamming coins in

and then it would give me 20 minutes and I'd say William Faulkner clearly was operating on a level of, huh, what's that word? Ah, ah, ah. Are you sure it wasn't just like an arcade game? You weren't just yelling at Gallagher. You know what? I didn't do well on the thesis.

I think it was an arcade game. I think you're right. My favorite thing though, it really wasn't computer. Go in that room and feed the computer coins and talk to it and it'll write your thesis for you. I just wrote a thesis on Faulkner and I blew up a planet at the same time.

Good job, Conan. It was a real, everyone was laughing at me, but I did get the high score on Galactica. Right. My favorite thing was that it was the size of a refrigerator and it was chained to the wall as if someone was going to take this thing. You would need 900 people and a mule to take this thing.

The kids will never know now. They'll never understand how different it was. Though they won't. I remember writing my thesis and I had a computer, but I had to order all the books, all of my research I had to order like a year before because how else was I going to,

we didn't have the internet. So how was I going to research? And I had to order a program because I wrote my thesis on Indian philosophy. So I had to order a program to like transliterate into Sanskrit so I could get all of the characters that I needed to write. I mean, it was a whole, I had to be so prepared,

which is very hard to do in your 20. Like barely get out of bed, you know? I never thought I'd be at this point, but I got to this point so quickly that I'm talking like an old man to my children. And I realized at one point, there's a generation gap between me and my younger brother who when he was in college, everybody had a computer.

They noodled around, they cut and paste some stuff on the internet, they pressed return, they got a paper and I was using a typewriter and a refrigerator that was really an arcade game. And so, and he's, you know, whatever, he's 10 years younger than I am. So there's a huge gap between me and my youngest brother, Justin.

So, but this brings me to my next point, which is that one of the things that I always relate to with you is there's a practicality that I feel like did come from, it must have come from your parents where so many people would give their left arm to have the onscreen, which television or film, the work you've done, you've had a fantastic career

and you were saying to yourself the whole time, I need to be a writer and I need to find out more about how to produce, how to make things, how to direct, how to get behind, how to write, how to get behind the scenes. And I remembered feeling no one ever wanted me really to be on camera. That was more accidental than anything else.

And I'm serious, I'm not being false. I don't, and no one would certainly ever want me in a movie, but I feel like you could easily have thrived just being an actor. Yeah, I mean, I think, you know, that same thing you were talking about where I didn't, you know, I didn't have this kind of preternatural gift for one thing.

Like I think the thing I probably like the most about myself is I would probably do okay in most places. Like I could, if you took away all my, all of these things I've been so lucky to have and like dropped me somewhere and told me I had to get like a corporate job or drop me somewhere and I had to be a barista or drop. I would probably do okay at like most things.

Like I'm, you know, I'm pretty adaptable in that way. And I think I looked at the long game of acting and it wasn't as much about fulfillment as it was about like, oh, like this business is really sexist. So the opportunities for women, they start to just like drop off a cliff at a certain age. If you don't generate material yourself. And then also like, also just in terms of material,

like you are bound to what other people make always. Like your opportunity is fully tied up. It's like, it's like playing the stock markets. You're like, oh God, a huge crash. Like all of those stocks are bucked today or whatever. Like it's that all the time with acting, you know, where like you can't, it's like all of your money is in this bank that somebody else is controlling.

And it just started to feel like, I don't think this is like a great place for me because I do have friends and I know people that I really respect who they love to disappear into parts. They love to give themselves over to directors and movies and scripts in a way that's like beautiful, magical to watch. But I don't think I have that skill set

that makes me perfectly compatible with that as a lifetime career. Right. When I ran into you a couple of weeks ago, the first thing I said was, because I had, I think I had watched it a week before was the documentary that you, Quincy that you made about your dad.

And I was really impressed with it because I thought, it's so difficult. I would imagine to make a documentary about your father or someone you're that close to and that emotionally tied to. And yet I thought it was also a very emotionally complex piece of work. It wasn't just, dad's the greatest, do you know what I mean? You really showed so many different layers there.

And I thought, I was really impressed with it. It's a fantastic documentary. And that's you really, I guess that took a long time to do. Yeah. It took about six years from when I first started filming to when it was on Netflix. I mean, thank you for saying that.

I had a partner, Al Hicks, who was my director partner was so essential because he is not my dad's daughter and he loves my dad. And they knew each other, but he's like Australian and mellow and could see things from a distance in the way that I couldn't, you know? But yeah, the whole idea was, there's no way I can do this movie unless I tell the truth.

And I can't tell the truth unless I really have ownership over what the final product is. My dad was very cool. Was like, don't show me anything until you're done. Thank God. Cause I think that's the only way we could have done it. There were lots of times when we were filming, especially, you know, there's an incident in the movie

where my dad almost dies. And, you know, we had stopped filming completely. And I, you know, I was, it was crisis mode for our family, but my brother and I both kind of filmed a little bit in the hospital really to show my dad after the fact what it looked like to us because he was so out of it and-

It was horrifying just to see how helpful he was. But we made that decision to put it in there because we had to tell the whole story and tell the truth. And also because, thank God, my dad recovered. And, you know, we wanted to do that as a means of intervention to get him to stop drinking. And he just kind of woke up and was like, I'm not drinking anymore, which is, you know, he's a beast.

He's a whole different species of human being. Just stopped drinking in his 80s for the first time in his life, but he loves life. And so he kind of chose life in front of his drinking. But we had to put that in. And that was, that really, to me, was it defined the movie in a sense because we got to be honest.

And like, that's my job as a daughter really is to let him be seen by the world in all the ways that he should be seen, you know? Yeah, I think he's one of those artists where the more you see of him, it's almost, it's akin to John Lennon where if you see the highs, the lows, if you see, the more you see of the struggle,

the more you admire the person, you know? That this idea that a documentary, if you wanna serve someone well, should only show them as a heroic figure and it should be propaganda, that's, no, you don't end up being that attached to the person afterward. I don't like those kinds of movies

because I feel like I'm being lied to anyway, you know? Well, I would like it if it was about me. And it- Yeah, I know, I'm sure. The whole point was- You mean your high alcohol tolerance? Yeah, incredible. He can have so many white claws. He's, you know, he's highly sexual.

He's flawless. Like, something like that that shots, you know what I mean? I don't know. Yeah, no, I do. I just, listen, wait till your kids get to that age and I'm sure that they'll make a documentary about how perfect you are. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Sona knows my children. She knows what a hit job that documentary is going to be. My kids are so very chill whenever a celebrity is around and they are so determined to be, that's not important. We don't care about that. And I had a Christmas party and you were there and you stayed a little later and my kids were upstairs freaking out

that you were in- Really? Yes, in this really cute way. I've been in your house so many times. And it was funny because the first time you came over, my son has a way of not always tuning into what's happening around him. I think he sailed through the room, said hi to a bunch of people, said hi to you.

This is, you know, I don't know, two, three years ago, went out the other side of the door and then realized in retrospect that you were there. So he freaked out retroactively. They adore you and will have heads of state. Well, there's a reason that I'm friendly with heads of state and that I have them to my house. I think I could probably be an effective leader of the world.

Yeah, you are an effective leader. Thank you. No, but anyway, I also like it when they admire somebody who I know to be, like, that's the kind of person you should be admiring. This is someone who's really worked hard and is multi-talented and a really decent human being. That's the person.

They don't give a shit about that. They do, actually. Do they? It's important to them. Yeah, they do care about that. They do. Oh, okay, good. It's why they don't like Tom Hanks,

who's a notorious fuck. What a dick. Whenever someone's thing is, you know, he's such a nice guy, you know what it's covering for, but we won't talk about it now, we can't. It's actually ridiculous, like, how lovely he is. I just, it always blows my mind. He and Rita are like the nicest people in the world.

They're very kind people. He's like the kind of guy that just comes by every now and then with plasma, he'll just say, like, do you want some plasma, you know? You want that hate strain? And I say, yeah, I'll take it, you know? I was gonna ask you about working with Sophia Coppola. I know you guys have, you have a history.

You guys have known each other for a really long time. Yeah, we have. We've been friendly for a long time and I met her through my acting coach. I was doing a workshop in my 20s and Sophia came to kind of like get some directing, acting knowledge and she was workshopping a movie

and I got to work with her for like a month and I played that character in Lost in Translation that Scarlett Johansson ended up playing. And that was like by far the coolest thing that had ever happened to me as an actor. I didn't get the job, but just being able to work with her and you know, get into a character that deeply at the time I was like just, you know,

auditioning for like law and order guest art spots and you know, things that were like, not that that's not meaty, but you know what I mean. Well, were you like, were you a body on law and order? Can I tell you something? One of the biggest regrets of my life is that I never booked law and order. Like it's a rite of passage when you move to New York

and you're an actor, like every single actor has done an episode of law and order and I haven't. I wish. You were to have played a dead body. Yes, I have. Well, I have it here. You have played a dead body more than you've 15 times. You've played dead bodies.

I have, no, I have. And well into your, I know, I'm kidding. You're going to, people are going to see me. What? It'd be funny if you were doing it. I would like to do it late in my career when I don't have to be doing it. I would like to be a body

and I'd always like to the cop standing over me to go, what a mess. I can't even recognize them. And then they start talking about features that aren't a result of my wound. They're just featured. Look at those thin lips. Look at those beady eyes.

So that's what a dead guy looks like. Oh, wait, he's not even dead. Oops. Then I get up. Hey guys, cut it out. Well, actually, speaking of, I think that Bill Murray, my movie dad, played the dead mayor of Pawnee on Parks and Rec.

Was that what it was? He was, I know he was in a casket at a certain point. I don't know that. I didn't know that. He had a guest role in Parks. Yeah, you're gonna have to fact-check that. Somebody who's not drunk. I sober up pretty quick.

I'm curious about, you read for the part that Scarlett Johansson played in Lost in Translation, as a favorite of Sophia and to help her out. Then Scarlett Johansson gets the role. If I were you, I would have been, every time I saw the movie, I'd shout out, I'd have done that differently. I'd have done that.

Even if I went and saw it in the theater, I'd have stood up and said, not the way I did it. Mine was more subtle. One of my favorite stories is a friend of a friend who's like an actor, was having a pretty rough time getting jobs and just spending a lot of time at home with his kids. And his four-year-old, my friend was over

and the four-year-old was watching Spider-Man and go, Spider-Man, Spider-Man, and said- The Spider-Man. Spider-Man, Spider-Man, Spider-Man. He said, yeah, I almost got that role. The four-year-old. Because he had heard his dad say it so much while they were watching movies.

He was like, I almost put that. That could have been me. That's just what you say. That could have been me. If I had a parrot that lived with me, it would always be saying, he's not that funny. People make too much fuss about him. Shut up, parrot.

I think I've aged well. No, but I do. I think actors and parts are destined for each other. Like that, obviously lost in translation. Like that was a moment, an iconic moment, and it could have only ever been Scarlett and Bill. But you know what's so great? So now you're working with Bill Murray

and I can't even imagine. I, again, I do not have your skill set. I am not an actor. But I think if I was in a scene with Bill Murray, I'd keep stepping outside my body and saying, oh, that's so cool. I'm in a scene with Bill Murray. It's surreal and confusing as a long time admirer of his.

But the good news was we had worked together before. So it wasn't like if I was just stepping out, I probably would have been recast because it is a lot. It's a lot to digest. But we are friends and we've worked together before and not for this many days in a row ever. But I was in the Bill Murray Christmas special that Sophia directed.

And Bill did an episode of my show Angie Tribeca. So we had a little bit of experience on camera. But yeah, no, it was completely and utterly nerve-wracking. He's also, I know him and I don't know if he changes into a different person. I've always known him in this comedy context. He's always been very nice to me and very Bill Murray. But I don't know if you're working with him

in an acting situation if he changes in any way or if he's still Bill Murray. Did you know what I'm saying? He's, I do, I do. I mean, there's something about him. He's just mysterious. He is sort of an island of a person. But as an actor, he's very available.

And present and listens. And also does so many beautiful things without doing anything. Like he just has a very, very fine-tuned instrument going on there, not just with comedy, but with all of it, with the emotion. But yeah, there is something that's always gonna be, like the minute we stop rolling,

he's like Bill Murray and then we're on the street and everybody wants to hang out with him. Everybody wants to have an experience with him. And I don't think that'll ever change. But I do feel like I probably know him pretty well. We spent a lot of time together and I know him pretty well. And I do, I really adore him as a human being. I was at a party years ago and my daughter,

it was the first time my wife and I went to a party after our daughter was born. And she was a couple of months old, but we just went to this party because we thought we can do it and we'll bring the baby. And it was like a New Year's party and Bill Murray was at this party. And I was holding my daughter

who was just a couple of months old and rocking her. And he went, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's not how you do it. That's not how you do it. This is how you do it. And when I'll never forget it, he said he had a drink in his hand, like a gin and tonic. And he put it in the breast pocket of his jacket.

He jammed a gin and tonic into the, in a tumbler glass into the vest, you know, like the breast nipple pocket of his sports jacket. Took my baby. I don't think they call it the nipple pocket. I'm sorry, I call it the nipple pocket because I cut a little hole in there so I can put my finger in and rub my nipple

and people think I'm trying to get the lint out. So don't judge me. Rashida Jones, if I want to rub my nipple through a secret hole I made. All right, fine, fine, fine, fine, sorry. I digress. Jesus. I digress. Jesus Christ.

Anyway, he jammed that drink into the breast pocket of his jacket and then proceeded to instantly rock my child to sleep. And I thought, I wouldn't let anyone else who was holding an alcoholic drink and jammed it into their pocket like that. But it's Bill Murray. And I know everything's going to be okay.

Everything's going to be okay. He, Sophia and Bill both have a magic about them. And it's infuriating because it's ineffable. It's indescribable. But if you're near it or around it, like you get some of the kind of like, you know, the aftershocks of it or like, you know, you just kind of want to stand close to them

so that you can like get some of the charm or the, you know, but they both have it where they just like, they create like an atmospheric, like an orb almost. And when you're in it, it's like a really, really nice place to be. Well, I think it's genius casting that he's your dad in this, you know? I think it's, you can tell that just,

it just feels like there's a lot of affection there and that there is a history there that's real between a father and a daughter. And then of course, obviously there's this stuff that we would all have with our parent. Yeah. And that's, I mean, that's real too. Like I love Bill and also he drives me crazy. I think maybe that's made me suitable for this job

because I wasn't just going to be fully enamored with him in a way where I couldn't break him down when I needed to, you know? That's kind of an important part of his character too. But yeah, hopefully it is relatable. I mean, there's obviously some stuff overlap with me and my dad, because my dad has a big, glowy personality that everybody wants to be around.

But I think in general, like it's just relatable in the sense that daughters of fathers and fathers who love their daughters, it's hard to figure out who you are, like through all that light and love of your dad. Like you have to also get past that and figure out what you want your life to be like and who you want to be outside of being a daughter.

Going through that, my daughter is about to be 17. And, you know, I spend a lot of time just, one day you're a dad and then you can spend a lot of time thinking about, am I doing this the right way? Am I being the dad that she needs me to be? And there's, and obviously you don't want to overthink it, but my agents and manager tell me that she's fine. That's all you can do is just outsource the parenting.

That's really the best thing you can do. I'm told she's getting quite tall and I'm told she's happy. You get a picture every month? Well, every month would be excessive. Once every six months, I get a drawing that a police artist has done every six months. But I cannot say this enough.

I think there are many people born maybe into your situation. And yes, I do credit your parents, but I also really credit you. You're a very impressive person. I don't like to be nice on my podcasts like this, but. I know, it's, I'm uncomfortable. I'm uncomfortable.

I mean, it's so nice. It's so nice. I'm like, listen, you know, it comes from like, I'm so hard on myself and I wouldn't, you know, it's been a, it's been a lifetime of figuring out how to love myself in a real way where I can not. I'm, I'm so, I actually call myself names and I have to stop doing that,

but I'm very hard on myself. So it's nice to hear you say it because I'm not going to say it. Are you getting better at it? Because, and all joking aside, I, when you said that you call yourself names, I have spent, and Sona, you will back, you will back me up on this.

I am brutally hard on myself and mean to myself. I'll shout it myself out loud if I'm brushing my teeth if, because I'll suddenly remember something that I think I could have done better. And I don't like that. I do not want my kids to be like that. And I don't know how you got to it. I mean, to me, it's a work in progress, but I don't know.

I have to just work really hard. Like I have to, when I hear myself and I, you know, like I, I, I'm aware of the way that I'm thinking. I just have to wonder if I would treat anybody else like that. And if I wouldn't, then I have to stop doing it. I can't treat myself worse than I treat other people. It doesn't feel, I have to treat everybody poorly. No, I, I just have to, it's a real practice.

I'm writing that down, yeah. It's a daily practice. It is a practice. And I think having children does help a lot. Because then you start to think, wait a minute, if anyone talked to my son or my daughter the way I just talked to myself, I would kill them. Yes, exactly.

Find a killing stick and I'd kill them, but, um, and I think it's one of the reasons why, unfortunately, um, you're adept at both acting, but then also writing, because I think the writer's mind is hyper self-critical. It's weird too, because it's the kind of thing you don't want to get rid of altogether, because it is, it is how you write and it is how you create,

but like, can you control it? So you only are critical with yourself when you need to be and not control me. I did want to say that, um, I never questioned why it would be hard on myself, but knowing you and then hearing you say that you're, have, have not always been nice to yourself and that you've been really hard on yourself, I think,

but you're Rashida Jones, why would you do that? It's so weird. There's a disconnect, you know what I mean? You're just, there's a disconnect. I don't see why you would ever do that in a million years. And I'm, I, I'm, I'm sure that everyone listening and you have so many fans feel the same way, but that's how it is and people should know that.

That's just how it is. I mean, listen, I think, I think loneliness is the, is the human condition is the baseline human condition. You come here alone, you leave alone. You have to figure out how to fill your time and, and also try to find joy through that. But those are all optional things. Like the, the bottom line is it's, it's hard to be alive.

Obviously, you know, I won the lottery in so many ways and I would never not acknowledge the privilege of that, but being in, being stuck in your own head and your own emotions can sometimes be a chaotic place that nobody else would ever, ever understand. And so I, that's why I try my best to also not judge, you know, what, there's a great, I think it's like an A expression that's like,

don't compare your insights to somebody else's outsides because it's just not a fair comparison. You just don't know how people feel in their own bodies ever. So that to me is like just a tool to remain empathetic towards other people, including myself. And we do live in a culture of envy and hey, she's in movies and on television and gets to write and produce and so her life is amazing.

And they don't understand that it's complicated. My life is amazing, but sometimes I can't feel that, you know? Like I think a lot of people feel that way. I saw that move. Did you watch that show, show kids movie that documentary about, oh, it's very good. It's made by Alex Winter, you know, that actor, he's now a documentarian.

It's really good. And he talks to a lot of kids who grew up famous, Will Wheaton and Mila Djavovic and Mara, what's her name, Mara Wilson, who played Matilda. And they just talk about the experience of, you know, it's so pronounced when you're a kid. Like they're young and they're talented and they're famous and everybody loves them.

And that's all you want when you're a kid, but not one of them says, like I wish I, all of them wanted to change it, all of them. I have long maintained that fame and attention and adulation is the most powerful drug in the world. It's more powerful than any other drug, any pharmaceutical company has come up with, and that Ergo, no child should be famous.

It should just, it almost shouldn't be allowed. It should be like a law because you would not give a five-year-old a powerful opioid. You just would, or heroin, you just would never do it. I think it's heartbreaking. But same could be said for social media. Yes. I mean, that's a drug too.

Why are kids allowed to just partake in this thing that's literally designed to get them addicted? Well, you did that amazing Black Mirror episode, Nose Dive, that you co-wrote with Mike Shurer. And I thought that every, if you haven't seen that episode of Black Mirror, check it out, Nose Dive with Bryce Dallas Howard. It is fantastic.

And I think it is one of the best. Yes, you are slight. There's like a slight exaggeration, which is I think one of the things Black Mirror is so good at. But you guys took social media and you took it to not really that much further than where we are right now. You took it maybe 15 years into the future,

or maybe five, and you saw how completely obliterating it is to a human identity. Because it changes your behavior. Because you're now interacting. I mean, this is sort of like a quote from Sharon Lanier, who's like a great, he's just a great thinker on the subject. He speaks a lot in that movie, The Social Dilemma.

But you're now taking this third party that's controlling and changing and manipulating and interfering with the behavior between two people. Which is like, that episode is about that, which is like, you will change your behavior based on the consequences of behavior, as is told to you by this algorithm. Well, I loved that episode and had no idea,

it did not know that you had co-written it. And then, yeah. Oh, you loved it before. Yes, and then when I heard you, there was a little jealousy and envy when I heard that you had been involved. And so anyway, we'll discuss that at another time. You really heard, I'm so sorry.

Well, whatever, I don't like being outdone left and right. But that's what we've got going here. I guess you do it all and I do one thing. Jesus, this took a turn. Let's wrap up what we've learned from Rashida Jones, which is no child should be famous. We must love ourselves, wash out for social media. It all's everything in moderation.

White claw is the drink that you should be looking for, kids. And... This feels like the strangest wrap up of my personality ever. But I'll take it for today. This is just for today. Can we say this is for today's version of what I do? And I guess it's creepy

if a man rubs a hole into his breast pocket so that he can rub his nipple on a subway and people think he's just looking... And then call it a nip. It's more creepy that he calls it a nipple pocket, to be real honest. Well, I just call it a nip pocket. Nip pocket.

Nip pocket. Rashida Jones, I adore you. And I really admire you. And I'm very happy for you. So thank you very much for doing this, really. This was so fun. I could have done this for hours, but... Well, then let's do four more hours.

Well, I gotta go. I know. And... And I really... This is really fun. I really apologize. There's a pony and some chocolates and some wine headed your way.

And I just really apologize for the... Don't worry. I will. It's the time we live in, you know? No, it's an engineering studio. Sound studio. It should have worked. I'm gonna go rip some people some new assholes.

No, I'm kidding. Whoa, whoa. No, I'm serious. I'm such a chill guy. I would never do that. People love working for me, right, Sona? What? Did you say you're a chill guy?

I'm such a chill guy. I'm MC Chill. All right. Seems like it. Oh, God, I hate when she bites into fruit. It's just so... I'm bookending it with fruit. Yeah.

It just seems... I love fruit. Oh, that's who forgot to mention that. I love fruit. And you love fruit. And you love biting into it into a very sensitive microphone. Hey, Rashida, I hope I see you soon.

And... Same. Yeah. Same, you're the best. I really am. We're just gonna put that on a loop. All right. Bye-bye.

Bye. Bye. All right, let's go to the voicemail bag and listen to some calls from the people. What do you guys say? Yes, let's do it. A few episodes back, you joked about how you weren't even given a name

in your family because you had so many kids right away. That's right. And so this voicemail is pertaining to that. Okay. Hi, everybody. I just wanted to share a little trick that I was listening to you very intently talk about how Irish families stopped naming their children.

I married a 100% Irish man. He was the fourth child of six. And recently we were looking to apply for dual citizenship for he and our children. So he had to pull his birth certificate and a shitty match. His parents never gave him a first name. He's 55 years old.

And he just found out that he is named Amy Steving. That's it. I know it was a little funny, but it's not, it's a real thing. Thanks, guys. Love you. Okay. Let me make something very clear.

Yeah, I was joking, but I was also not joking. All jokes are based in reality. And yes, the family I grew up in, kids started coming fast and furious and things got a little chaotic. I mean, kids were, every day you'd go into the bathroom and be a new person there and you'd say, who are you?

And they'd be like, who am I? Who are you? And it was just, that's how it is. So I do think my dad stalled on naming me for a little bit. Oh, okay. He told me, you know, that they, you know, I was number three and they ended up having six.

And I think by that point they started to say like, well, I don't know, we'll figure it out. What's the rush? And so, I think it's when he was, saw the movie Conan the Barbarian in 1980 that he said, hey, that works. And I think at the time I was, you know, 13. Yeah.

You didn't have a name that long? I didn't have a name for a long time. What did everyone call you? They called me baby O'Brien. It was just baby O'Brien. And they called me that up until I think I was 33. Oh, no. No, I did get a name fairly quickly.

I took my dad a little while, but he came up with a name. But I sympathize with this woman. She found out what I already knew, which is the Irish. We go for quantity over quality. Right. Let's just have a lot of kids and one of them will do something. Okay.

That's the idea. And who cares what their name is? Yeah. You know? Yeah. I mean, your family especially, you don't have that much of a difference between your siblings.

No. Time-wise. I'm born, I think, five months after my brother Luke. Oh. Which we've, scientists came and talked to my parents. And it was in the paper, it was in the local paper. We're spaced about five months apart. No one understood it.

Yeah. Kangaroos can have a baby being birthed, but one like warming up in the oven. Yes. Like an assembly line. No, it's true. It's how they make the burgers at any fast food restaurant.

You have to have one warming on the conveyor belt while another's finished cooking. So yeah. No biological sense. This is true. I'm not even, this is not a joke. Oh, it's not a joke. No, no, no.

People from scientists from around the world visited my parents and said, you're having these children five months apart. Luke was almost done when I was being formed. Yeah. And, you know, he was telling me in the womb, don't touch my stuff. He was saying like, that's, you know,

hey, that's stuff over there's mine and that's my poster and, you know, don't touch it. And I couldn't wait for him to move out. Yeah. And then I got to have a couple of months on my own in there once he was gone. So I took down his posters because he was into Star Trek

and I was into Star Wars. So then I put up mine. Anyway, this is very strange and disturbing riff. Yeah, it is. But it's true. It's really weird. It's all true. All six children in my family

were born in a three-year period. My God. That's a true story. We were all born in a three-year period and no one understands how it happened. You were like sharing an apartment, basically. Yeah, that's all it is. And then one moved out and another one came in.

It was the original friends. It was the original friends. There was six of us and we were all in one apartment and people were wondering, how could they afford that womb in New York City? Yeah. That's stupid.

I took it too far. You took it way too far. I know. The door is a funny color. Okay, that's ridiculous. Yeah, I know. We're talking about names. I do think that your parents naming you Conan.

It's almost as if they knew you were gonna be famous and they're like, let's name this one something different. Or, well, I was the only one that had like sort of bright copper red hair. Oh, okay. So I think they just said, what? What is this?

My mom said I looked like a little orangutan when I was born. That's not true. She did. Did she really? You know what she said? She said I looked like a little, this is a true story.

My mom said, you look like a little fat Buddha with a tough, this is what she said. You look like a little fat Buddha with a tuft of orange hair. Oh no. That's what she said. And then they must have said, oh my God, what happened, you know?

There's always one pancake that just looks weird and they just were like, oh my God. And then they, my dad said, let's stall for time on what to name it. But anyway, he came up with Conan. So I think they did think this one seems strange. Okay. Aren't you glad though that your name is Conan?

I am. I don't really, I'm not a fan of my last name. What? I don't like, oh, Brian is just so common. I will say I don't like the apostrophe. No, the apostrophe is a mess. And when I go to any time, they have to enter my name into a computer.

Any, if I go to a, you know, you go to the airport or whatever, if you don't put the apostrophe in or you do put the apostrophe in, basically I'm on a terrorist watch list because I have an apostrophe in my name. Yes. Did you ever think of going by Conan of Brian

and just get rid of the apostrophe? What? What a perfect suggestion. I am Conan of Brian. It sounds so regal. You will seat me now in my aisle seat that will accommodate my long legs. I am Conan of Brian.

No, that's what I... Yeah, I don't want to disparage people with apostrophes in their last name because there are a lot of you, but as working for you, I don't know if you can put it in the computer. I don't know, like there's certain things where I have to search for you.

It's like, there's a space or there's no space. It just, it makes my life difficult. Also, I just don't, this sounds like I'm tuning my own horn, but I'm a fan of the New York Times crossword puzzle. Yes. When I was doing the crossword puzzle yesterday and one of the questions I'm doing the crossword puzzle

and it's just said, oh, Brian of late night TV. The fact that I couldn't get it was probably a sign of dementia, but no, I was in there. I think you just did a humble brag in a way that you were like, oh my God, I was in the New York Times crossword puzzle

yesterday and I could barely, did you do that on purpose? Yeah, five letters across, he who humble bragged. Yeah, I know. Listen, it would be a humble brag, but I've been in there quite a bit. Oh, okay, there it is. I'm sorry, I love doing the crossword

and you know, I feel like I'm cheating when they brought me in there. I'm sorry. It's just so like, oh, yesterday I was in the crossword puzzle. Well, I'm sorry, I was. I don't know how to tell the story. I don't know how to tell the story without telling you that I was in the crossword puzzle,

but the clue was O'Brien of late night TV and I just saw my last name and I went, oh, come on, like your first name is so, I don't want to say weird, but it's. Like if you were Conan O'Hurley he, it'd be too much. Well, Conan O'Brien is just as bad. Conan O'Brien, I mean, a leprechaun would be embarrassed by that name.

It's ridiculous, it's so Irish. Do you know what I mean, the Conan O'Brien, it's trying so hard to tell you that I'm completely Irish and I could see how you would think it's a humble brag. My point wasn't that I'm in the crossword puzzle. My point is I saw my last name and wasn't thrilled. I just was looking at it and thinking, yeah, it's just such a common and I don't know why,

but I do want people to take away that I'm in the New York Times crossword puzzle. And I think that's, if that comes out of this story, there's nothing I can do to stop you from hearing that information. Yep, we got it, we got it. New York Times crossword, multiple times, many times. Hard to find a day I'm not in it.

In fact, I think I'm in it every day. I think it hurts the puzzle. I'm in it so much. Yeah. I think I've been in it. That's enough. 600 days in a row. That's enough.

New York Times crossword puzzle. That's enough, we're good. Is that a record? We got it. Historic. Okay, that's enough. They should stop doing it because everyone knows the answer by now.

Okay, that's good. We got the picture. Too easy. Got the picture. Historic. That's enough. Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Sonamov Sessian and Conan O'Brien as himself.

Produced by me, Matt Corley, executive produced by Adam Sacks, Joanna Solotarov, and Jeff Ross at Team Cocoa, and Colin Anderson and Chris Bannon at Earwolf. Theme song by the White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vavino. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.

The show is engineered by Will Beckton. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review featured on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Cocoa Hotline at 323-451-2821 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode.

And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded. This has been a Team Cocoa Production in association with Earwolf.