Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Ricky Gervais

Episode Date: April 20, 2020

Comedian, actor, writer, producer Ricky Gervais feels strangely underwhelmed about being Conan O’Brien’s friend. Ricky sits down with Conan to discuss getting a laugh out of the worst of humanity, the upcoming season of his Netflix show After Life, and finding out his heroes are just regular people. Plus, Conan shares what he’s learned about tech in the days of quarantine. Got a question for Conan? Call our voicemail: [phone].For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com.

Hi, I'm Ricky Gervais and I feel strangely underwhelmed about being Conan O'Brien's friend. I can tell that we are gonna be friends. Hello and welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. Our podcast continues. Despite this insane pandemic we're all experiencing right now. We're able to do this because we're all connected through the Ethernet. That's right, I said Ethernet. You just learned that like two minutes ago and now you're casually dropping it in. I have it pinned to my jacket with a safety pin, the word Ethernet,

the way a mother puts a note on a child's ski jacket. It says, be nice to my boy. Which is actually a note my mom pinned to my jacket, be nice to my boy about two years ago. No, she did. She pinned a note to her. I remember that. I had a giant safety pin. It was like, be nice to my boy. She sent me off to nursery school and I was savagely beaten. Then they took the safety pin off and they stabbed me with it. Thanks to mom who's out there. She would be listening but she doesn't know how podcasts work.

Anyway, we're continuing on. We're all from our different locations but we're able to connect through technology. I'm joined by my stalwart companion, some say my soulmate. Nope. Not in a romantic way. Oh, you're talking about me? No, no, no. Matt, I was going to get to you but you couldn't. You couldn't take it, could you?

No, I miss your tender touch. Yes, yes. You're my tender touch, so is my soulmate. Nope. Yes, my wife of course, the mother of my children and I call her the tolerator. My wife is the tolerator. That's her position in the hierarchy. And tolerator. But Sona, I do think if you as my soulmate, I think we're connected in many ways that are hard to explain.

Well, what do you think you are? I don't feel that at all. I think I'm your employee. Employee, really? Yeah. No, I think we're friends. Okay, because employee implies that I pay you and then you do things for me. Oh. That's where that whole system breaks down.

We're friends. We're pals. Okay, stop laughing. It's, nope. I'm testing, I'm keeping my lungs healthy. They say, I saw an interview the other day that said, you're supposed to keep your lungs healthy during this coronavirus. So I find the best thing to do is laugh at people who work for me. They're in excellent health.

There you go. Lungs are working fine. Speaking of people I love to laugh at and not with, Matt Gorley, our producer is with us. Matt, good to see you. Hey, I feel like you're my soul nemesis. Oh, that's not true. I have so many nemesis that I... Nemesis. Nemosum.

Nemoses. I'll say this, Matt. Sincerely, you're not up there. I don't consider you a nemesis. I was talking about how I see you, not how you see me. Oh. Why are you so angry at me? I think I'm a good guy. Before I came along, you were nothing in the podcast world, nothing.

Your name was Mud. You were embroiled in scandal when I came along. Podcast scandal. What was my podcast scandal? God, where do we begin? You remember the time that you were caught not improvising correctly on air? Oh, Jesus, look who's talking. A fringe comedian laid out some funny information and you denied it.

You said, no, that's not true. No, I didn't do that. You did. Yeah, there you go. No, you've been accused many times of many crimes in podcast history, but that's not important. The important thing is that this podcast was today, is airing on April 20th. 420, as Sona likes to call it.

And then she, well, you make your peace sign and you twirl around and you smoke an imaginary doobie, I suppose. Imaginary. Yeah, okay. Anyway, it's April 20th, but this has been taped several weeks before. I bring this up for a reason, which is this is going to air. You're hearing it right now on or after April 20th, which means that my birthday, which we all know, say it together listeners, April 18th.

That is past. That is past, which means I'm assuming I've been given wonderful gifts by Sona Moisesian and Matt Gorley. And I'm just going to act like I got those gifts and I really love them. Sona, that is what a fantastic gift you gave me. It was just absolutely stunning, the gift you gave me. At first I thought it was such a small box. I thought this can't be much. I opened it up.

It's car keys tied to a silk string. I followed the string outside and there it is, a rare, only made one, 2007 Bugatti. I looked in... 2007? Yeah, 2007. They made one and it was so good they decided to never make another one and they killed all the people who had been working on it just to make sure it could never be replicated. It's called the Blood Bugatti because they had to kill everyone involved.

But I looked it up and it's worth like $6 million. Oh, wow. And Sona and her husband apparently sold their home in Altadena at a very inflated price and then bought me this gift. So thank you for that, Sona. You're welcome for your Bugatti. I can't believe in your fantasy. I gave you a 13-year-old car. I don't know why that would be something special, but you're welcome.

I couldn't afford the new Bugatti, but it's the Blood Bugatti, the one that they wanted there to be just one. So every Italian man working on it was murdered in a gas station parking lot. Matt Gorley, I want to thank you for your gift. My pleasure. I think your gift was absolutely extraordinary and very, very thoughtful. You know, most people don't like a fruitcake, but especially a stale fruitcake. I wish you would ask me, do I like a fruitcake? Apparently no one does.

I do not, but still it was very thoughtful of you to even remember my birthday. April 18th, that's right. Listeners, say it with me. It's pretty much a national holiday. Oh my God. Wait, he got you a fruitcake and I got you a Bugatti? Well, he aimed low. You aimed high.

And, you know, I like them both. You know, I did drive the Bugatti around yesterday. I drove it around Pacific Coast Highway at about 400 miles an hour. I drew a face on the Bundt cake and put it in the passenger side so that it looked like a child. A child with a skin condition. And then I was allowed to drive in the carpool lane. And there's not a lot of people out there driving right now, so I had a good time. Well, happy birthday.

Well, thank you. Yeah, you're welcome for that gift. Yeah. I'm homeless now. Is that what happened? Okay. No, don't be silly. I just, I'm going to be very honest with the viewer.

Viewer? You could be very honest. Be honest with yourself. Okay. I'm going to be very honest with all of you that I'm working from home. I'm not the most tech savvy guy in the world, and I accidentally laid my script of ad copy and stuff down on top of my computer and the window that was showing all of you disappeared. And I don't know how to get you back.

Just click on the zoom thing. Isn't that, this is me being honest. We're all flipping you off right now. Oh, that's great. Well, that's mature. That's mature. Bundt cake giver. No, I don't see you guys anywhere.

I don't know how to get you back. Conan, go to click on your zoom icon. Oh, I see you now. All right. Well, I am very, very happy about our guest today. He's an absolutely hilarious comedian. He's an actor, a writer, a producer. He co-created the Emmy award-winning series, The Office.

He's also a five-time host of the Golden Globes and is currently starring in the Netflix series Afterlife. Now, let me point out, I did tape this interview a little while ago. I actually flew to London. This was all before the pandemic. And I met this gentleman at his offices in Northern London just before I met up with him. I was sitting in a pub and I had a Scotch egg. If you've ever had a Scotch egg, you know not to do that ever again. Anyway, it was really fun to sit down and talk with him and try and mind-meld.

I'm thrilled that he's on our podcast today. Ricky Gervais. You are one of the most famous people in the world. You're loved all over the world. You're watched five nights a week, OK? You're one of the greatest writers of the greatest show ever. Oh, The Simpsons. Yeah, right?

And you'd think, oh, my God, that'd be amazing to be friends with Conan. But it isn't. It's not. We're still... We're not young. I think we're relatively young. I like to read up a lot. Here's what I do.

25 years ago, we'd be dead. Yes. Thanks to medical science and... Here's the thing. If you and I had died, if I had died at 45 in any other period of history, there'd be no explanation as to why I died. No. Did say Conan O'Brien died.

He was 45. No one would say what happened. No. Because everybody died. Of course. People died constantly. Yeah. Now it's...

People say when the actor Jack Klugman, you know he is? Yeah. Jack Klugman from The Odd Couple. Yeah, great. He smoked and drank and did everything he wanted in life. Then he had multiple battles with throat cancer, survived them, could barely speak, lived another 40 years. And then he died at like 95.

And I called my brother Neil. And I said, Neil, Jack Klugman died. And Neil went, what happened? What happened? What do you mean what happened? It's a man... He outlived everybody. What do you mean what happened?

He lived on three generations of cavemen. No. It's like when they... You notice on The New York Times when they write an obituary, they say so and so died at the age of 103. They never say why. They just have to dig it in. Yeah, of course.

It could be in a motorcycle accident. Of course. But they don't say. No, you don't need to. Because your time was up. It was at the age now where I might get a, oh, that's too young. They won't really mean it.

Do you know what I mean? Right, right. They just go, oh, that's... He could have had... That's too early. He could have had a little more time. He had another three years. But he had plenty.

Yeah. I want to make it clear to anyone listening right now that I crossed the pond to come see you. Yeah. And I know that you're, you know... Lazy. You're lazy. You're in America all the time.

And always within 100 feet of me. But you said you'd prefer to talk to me in London. And I said, okay. I said, we're here right now. And we were actually right near recording equipment. And you said you had nothing else to do that day. Right. And you said you'd still prefer it if I flew 10 hours

and came to London. Right. None of that is true. No, little of what I say is true. Yeah, I mostly live in London. I do. I go to LA a couple of times a year for either award shows or, you know, whatever.

And when we cross paths, I always do your show. You were here anyway being... Were you getting some sort of city honour or doing... I was not getting any kind of honour. What were you doing? I was doing something you did. I spoke at the Oxford University. Oh, yeah.

And what they do when they invite you is they say, Churchill spoke here, Malcolm X spoke here. Gandhi, they have this long list of amazing people. Then you accept and you go, and they give you the list of who also spoke there. And it's a hideous list. They didn't tell me that one. No, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Stormy Daniels, you know. Seriously, that's not even a joke. Stormy Daniels spoke there. Everything goes downhill, though. You see, I've got a theory, right? Because of social media and how everyone's... Eventually, we get to hear everyone's true feelings or thoughts. So, I think any of these people in history that we think are amazing,

if they were on Twitter, they'd be hated in six months. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Marilyn Monroe would be treated like a Kardashian or whatever. Nothing wrong with the Kardashians, but you know what I mean? They'd soon do a tweet when they were drunk. Oh, my God, they're awful. Doesn't matter who it was.

Gandhi, Churchill, anything. I always thought, you know, people used to talk about, oh, if Abraham Lincoln, he's considered in America the greatest American, if Abraham Lincoln could come back today, what wise words would he say about the State of the Union? And I've always said, first of all, he'd come back and in his peripheral vision, he would see a TV on in the corner and he would say, what's that?

And they'd say, well, we'll get to that in a second. You know, Mr. President, Lincoln, 16th, Martyr President, can we first talk about what your station is? Hold on a second, and he would go and he would start watching TV. Yeah. And then he would only want to binge watch TV. Of course. And then he would be laughing his ass off at stuff you and I hate.

Shows that you and I have no respect for. Of course. And then he'd be saying, have you seen this? Have you seen, you know, and it'd be some reality show that's just awful. Yeah. And he'd say, have you seen this? This Love Island is fantastic. And you'd say, well, Mr. President, he'd be like, hold on, hold on.

You think he's going to shag her? Is he going to? But also, let's not forget, if you go back, if you go back a few years, anyone coming now wouldn't be woke enough for anyone. Right. They'd go, they'd suddenly say something really racist. No, Lincoln would say like, oh, look at the rack on her. And you'd be like, Mr. President, you'd be like, I'm sorry.

When I lived, we all died at 11 and we were allowed to comment on other people's bodies. Yeah. No, he would be, he'd be revered for eight hours and then hit. Yeah. Well, I think that that's it now, isn't it? For people, it's almost acceptable for everyone to do a little bit of living their life like an open wound. You think, oh, why not? You could cut to so many things of mine that didn't work out, that aren't that good.

So I have to accept. Oh, I've got a list. No, I saw your list. It's like, came in. It's a book. It's a book now. I'm going to get it down. I saw volume eight.

I saw you flipping through volume eight. Conan's shit work. And I was like, oh, he's got the complete set. I know, but I totally agree with you. And I think that I've got a reputation as sort of like a shock jock or I don't care what I say or, you know, I don't care about people's feelings, which is, that's totally untrue. Yeah. Every joke. And I think it comes from, you know, stand up.

It's context is everything. Even the Golden Globes, you know, I go after people's public behavior that isn't that bad. I don't, I don't really go after, you know, and no, you're right. I've got to be able to do it in front of them and face them after. Otherwise, I think it's cowardice. If someone did get their feelings hurt and you heard about it, my assumption is it wouldn't just completely bounce off of you. No, it would bother you. It would bother me.

It would bother you. This is the problem as well. You know, 10 years ago, if I made a joke and someone said I'm offended, I'd think about it. I'd look into it. Now it's meaningless. Now the people that are offended at anything have made that meaningless. Right. And in a way, I've always tried to make my jokes bulletproof.

But now there's this, you've got to try and make them bulletproof for 10 years time, which is impossible. Right. Do you know what I mean? It's like, now people are going back and trying to get people canceled for 10-year-old tweets. You know, I go, well, that doesn't count. You know, John Wayne was canceled 40 years after his death. Right. You know, for not being woken up.

And he's very upset about it. He's very upset about it. So you can't worry about that. But how would I feel about that? Is that justified? What are they doing sitting at home with? Is it, is it their fault? Is it their baby?

Will they find it funny as well? I tease lots of people in entertainment. And again, I'm still not judging them. You know, we all screw up. I try and, you know, turn the spotlight on me as well when I do those things. But I think people, people want a war. They want a feud. Yeah.

That's what they want. You know, it reminds me of the analogy I came up with a couple of years ago. It occurred to me chemical reactions are all about heat. Like heat creates chemical reactions. And I realized, oh, that's the media. You've got to warm things up to make things happen. I saw a headline once about me. I can't remember what it was, but I called, I said, that's not true.

And they said, no, but it's explained in the article. Yeah. Yeah, but some people don't even read the article. Well, they fall for the marketing. Yeah. They fall for the marketing. They fall for the fact that the poster for the Golden Globes is me gagged. Like he says, the unsayable.

Of course I don't say the unsayable. Right. I don't say the unsayable at all. I go around the world saying the sayable and there's thousands of people laughing. If I was saying the unsayable, they'd be walking out. They don't. Right. They fall for the beer.

Oh, he might be drunk. I'm not drunk. You're going to be drunk. That would be bad. No. But you would throw it. You would have a lot of cocaine. Yeah.

Exactly. Yeah. Heroine, cocaine. No, they do fall for the marketing and that's a good thing in a way. But then you don't want it to bleed into your private life. I don't want people to think I'm a horrible, nasty, uncaring, because I'm not. That's the reason. Right.

And I feared fame because of all those reasons. When I was doing the office and I thought I'm going to be in this and I might be famous. I sort of feared it for loads of reasons. I didn't want to be lumped in with those people that do anything to be famous. And I never signed that contract with the devil. Make me famous and then I can go through my bins. And I remember the first time I read something that was untrue about me. Oh, my God, or the first bad review went, oh, my God, then I think, oh, nothing happened.

It doesn't matter. And I realized I got older and it took, it took like 15, 20 years for me to realize this is that reputation is important, but it's what strangers think of you. Character is what your friends know you are. And that's what counts more. And now it's like war for duckback. And also, I don't do drugs or, you know, race fast cars and come out of clubs. I don't do that.

So there isn't a story, but still, I don't want people to think like some of the jokes they don't understand with irony. I don't want people to think that I'm a racist, misogynist, homophobe because they've got the target mixed up with the subject. People don't quite understand that with character. They get it when you call yourself David Brent, right? But when you're live, they don't get that that Ricky Gervais on stage is a character as well to a certain extent.

And I flip between, like my new show, Super Nature, I come out and I do a joke and I say that was irony. That's when I say something I don't really mean. And you as an audience, you laugh at the wrong thing because you know what the right thing is. And it sets it up. It just explains what we do, right? You know, we say things to make people laugh.

And there's loads of ways of doing that. You can say the right thing or the wrong thing, you know. There's something I've been doing for, I mean, since since I started doing my show, I did it when I was a comedy writer and then I did it when I had my own show. Master Bay. Well, yeah. Yeah. This is amazing.

You can finish my sentences for me. But it's time to go again. There we go. I'm very quick. But, you know, one of the things I would do is I created this over the top persona at work of the kind of, you know, I would push a writer up against a wall and say, who wrote this shit? You know, that kind of over the top crazy Hollywood version of an insane Caligula head

of a TV show. And it was always sort of an unspoken thing that we all knew that that was what I was doing because because I needed to the pressure of doing this job all the time. I couldn't be earnest at work. I needed to be this completely out of control, you know, madman. Yeah. But as a bit, as like that was the bit that I was doing. That's interesting because I noticed on my last tour of humanity, I'd been away for

like seven years from stand up, I mean, but the audience still knew me. I was still around doing stuff. So they, so the audience, by the time I did humanity, the audience had known me for 15 years. Right. So they got it all. So they got the irony. They got the.

Right. And with friends, when you say summer, nor you're off color or something you don't mean, you don't have to go, I'm only joking. Right. They get it. And I've got to the point now where how can I talk about the worst things in humanity and get a laugh? That's my challenge.

I deal with taboo subjects because I do like that. That moment of fear when you start talking about summer and I want to take 10,000 people by the hand through a frightening forest and they come out the other side and it's sunny and they went, that was all right. Right. And I think that's what humor's for. It gets us through bad stuff. I think that it does confront our fears and it kills the beast.

It really, do you know when, even in things like rats, they understand that gallows you with that irony. If you tickle a rat, right, it laughs because that's how it's usually being eaten by a cat. It's on its back and it's being tickled and it's laughing ironically at that. It's that really? Yeah. Because they get, they have a level of, I'm not dying, I'm not being eaten by a cat. Right.

You know? So I see the difference and I find it, this is evoking the worst thing that could happen to me. I'm laughing at the wrong thing because I know what the right thing is, you know? It's like, this is okay. And I think we do it because we're play fighting. We're play fighting. We're seeing how far, and then we might, oh, that's too harsh, that's, you know, the claws

are out there. Let's go back to, and I think we do that. I think we comedians do that. Our teaser comedian, I'll be going crazy, I'll go home to Jane and I'll go, did they know I was joking? She goes, Jesus Christ, of course they fucking knew you were joking. Yeah. But I still got, what if I didn't?

What if I hit a nerve? You know? No, but I, all the time, I'm trying to calibrate. Was that okay? Was that, they knew, right? And I think that's why I always love the writer's room. I always love the writer's room because I felt. It's amazing.

When I was on Sun Out Live with the Simpsons, I just, and my own writer's room for whatever, you know, 26 years, I know I can go in there and it's people, we all are part of this little group that knows that someone, and my writers tear the shit, they just tear into me. When I walk into the room, if I'm wearing new shoes, they'll have the perfect jokes about why my shoes are the worst shoes that anyone could have chosen. And of course, I do it with them and we're all doing it with each other. But also, we do, we do it a little bit as well because we give them that, like sometimes I'll be putting on shoes and I go, oh, I can't wear those, so and so it's, oh, I'm going

to put them on. Yes. Because then they can have a go at them. And I think that's because we have comedians, to a certain degree, have a heightened sense of empathy. They want to know what's good and what's bad and what hurts and what they don't like. And Jane got me a present once walking with wolves, where you go and meet these wolves and they're wild, but they're socialized.

So they're not telling you, but you still have to don't have any food in your pocket, don't be a finger's out, don't, you know, don't wear, you know, that we were walking, we were walking these wolves past another pack of wolves and they went, come this side, because there's a thing called deferred aggression, because if they can't get to that wolf, they just bite the nearest thing next to them because it's deferred. So it's all those things. And then you meet them and then they were fighting. I was going, oh my God, look, it's fine.

And they're biting each other and I'm going, oh my God, just like, no, no, no, no, they're just, they're doing the dominant order. They're just, you know, play fighting. Right, right. And they said that a wolf will bite until it just hurts the other one to find the thing. So when they were puppies, cubs, what they do is they pretend it hurts before it does. So when the wolf bites them, it doesn't hurt. And it's things like that, that they're, they're testing the boundaries.

That hurts. Right. If it doesn't hurt, it's funny. You know, it's, it's Nietzsche and it's whatever doesn't kill makes you stronger. And I think we subconsciously, we play with that all the time. How far can I go? How far can I go? I have a theory that a lot of this gets worked out with siblings early on.

Oh, definitely. I know that you grew up with siblings. How many? Well, there was four of us. I was the youngest by 11 years. Okay. I remember when I was 13, I said to my mom, why were older brothers and sisters? Were they so much older than me?

She went, cause you were a mistake. I went to go, they're all mistakes. Yeah. My dad was a Catholic. My dad was a French Canadian who joined the army to, to, to fight in the war. He got stationed here. I met my mom. I got her pregnant.

My oldest brother was born, 44, who died last year. It was Larry, Marsha, Bob, then 11 years later, little Ricky. So did you feel like you got, because I felt the real elemental stuff that I needed to know about comedy, I worked out in the kitchen of our house. After the family situation, the rest is adding to that elemental knowledge somewhat, but the percentage is amazing to me of how much I learned. But it's not just, it's not just the laugh. It's because the laughter is a, it's a social power.

It could be anything. You could have chosen something else. You could have chosen being the smartest or the bravest, but you chose being the funniest as, as I did. I didn't have those choices. You're a big guy. I didn't feel like I couldn't, I couldn't be the toughest or the bravest, but I was either.

I couldn't. Right. Okay. I'm tall, but I was, it worked out. You're weak. Thank you. There's a weakness. Is that you sense that when I came up?

Yeah. Yeah. There's a cowardice and a weakness, which is, is detestable. It's not, it's not like, I don't feel sorry for you. I want to crush you because of your, it's disgusting. Do you know what I mean? Disgusting. Yes.

Yes. You want to like a, like a bug. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's already hurt. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. A lame bug. A bug. Yeah. It has like, someone swatting it and it's on the floor going, I'm a bug. I'm a bug. Take me to the vet.

No, I'm not going to take you to the fucking vet. It's not worth it. A bug is entitled enough to think it should go to the vet. What bug? Thanks. Take me to the vet. Let's be honest. That was a metaphor.

We know, everyone knows I'm talking about you. You are the bug. I didn't see that. Let's drop the pretence. Let's drop the pretence. I don't, I never see the metaphor and everyone listening saw it perfectly and I missed it. I've just felt bad for that bug and I wanted to crush it as well and then I realized it's took an odd turn.

It's me. It's me all along. It's me all along. I've been thinking specifically of the office and extras, something that I could relate to. You did it obviously just so extremely well but you would humiliate yourself. You were obviously playing characters but you would go out of your way to put yourself in the worst most humiliating.

I think, you know, David Brink would say the exact wrong thing. I believe it was extras where David Bowie. Of course. He comes in and I know he's a hero of yours so I know what you're thinking is, what's the worst thing that could happen to me if I got a chance to see David Bowie and David Bowie not only hates you but then composes on the spot a song. Without even meaning it. Yeah.

Puglown's face. Yes. And this little fat man. Tubby little fat man. Tubby little fat man. Yeah. I was just thinking as I was looking at that, like, this is, you didn't write something where David Bowie thinks you're the greatest guy in the world.

You wrote him having absolute contempt for you. Without even meaning it, with dispassionately, which is even worse, if someone has no dog in the fire and they still say you're awful, you think, oh, they just, okay, well, that's just true then. Right. No. He saw you in his, I mean, you caught his peripheral vision and for a second he composed that song.

Crazy genius. I sent him the lyrics to that and I said, oh, can you give me something like quite a retro like Life on Mars and he went, oh yeah, I'll just knock off a quick fucking Life on Mars for you. Yeah. Yeah. No, but I love being insulted again because it's, it doesn't hurt. They're words.

I'm the rat. Someone insulting me is the rat being tickled. Right. It's not real. Right. It can't hurt me. So I find it funny. If someone thinks they can hurt my feelings by shouting some at me, I've won.

Yeah. I've won. Yeah. I think you like to put yourself literally through a ringer, those things that you can turn to the century where they, they squeezed, they took wet clothes and they squeezed it through a ringer just to see. Yeah. Well, that, that came from the what's the, um, oh, that's a siren and that's going to

be part, that's what they sound like here in Europe. It's bullshitting. It's the bullshitting ambulance. We've been, they, they heard us talking. You know what happened? And someone in the police station said, they've been talking seriously for too long on a comedy podcast. Dispatch it Constable.

Um, yeah. Yeah. Uh, so yes, um, again, yeah, uh, it's not, I mean, in this series, which I really like, I know the second series is coming out, uh, in a few months, 24th of April. Yeah. 24th of April. And I really liked the first series, the first season, and I'm, you know, suspicious. I'm curious about like, geez, what happens with this character next?

Cause the first season is all about you coping with the death of your wife. Yeah. And then there's a lot of really funny stuff in the series, but it's dark. It's almost like you set yourself a challenge to say, I'm going to put a guy in the worst situation possible, which is he lost the love of his life. Exactly. And now we're going to see where I can find the humor. Exactly.

And that, and that was a challenge going from, you know, uh, uh, it goes to the silliness and nonsense and annoying and trivial and all those things. And in his head, he was, he was suicidal and depressed. So, um, yeah, wow, let's make that funny. Um, the reason he doesn't kill himself is cause the dog's hungry. Yeah. Yeah. So I wanted that to be, and that sounds trivial, but it's not.

It's actually true when you sort of look at it, you know, no, you have to feed the dog, you have to feed the dog and the dog didn't do anything. And, and, and then he gets through the second phase, like now, okay, she's done. Okay. Okay. So, oh, what, what can I do? I know I can, I can always kill myself. I've always got that to fall back on.

So until then I'm going to punish the world. I'm going to start saying exactly what I've got, nothing to lose. I can say what I want. We sort of think, oh, I wish I could be like, and we do, you know, there's loads of instances in there that I've been in real life and I haven't been able to do what he did because I live for tomorrow. Yeah. There'd be consequences with him.

He can, he's, I don't care. And the other thing we laugh at is, and this is the staple of comedy, particularly sitcom, is an ordinary guy or girl trying to do something they're not equipped to do. And his is, he tries to be this uncaring psychopath and he can't because he's got a conscience. Yeah. He cares about the dog. He cares about his nephew. He cares about the old lady in the graveyard.

He cares about the younger. So he's, his burden is, he's a nice guy. He's trapped. Yeah. He can't even do what he wants to feel better. I love this, the thing in the show where you have this absolute slob that sits opposite you. Oh yeah.

Who's the photographer and he's this heavy guy who eats terribly and you start talking about how he's got this little rule of fat on the back of his neck. Yeah. And you just want to pinch it. Yeah. And you're talking about it. And what I love is that he doesn't care. No.

He doesn't. No. He will say things that, it works for me because he is so, I don't know, he's like a teletubby. He's like some, he's impervious too. What does he says? You know, I'm, he's stressful. Yeah.

We all have our roles and he knows, he knows that that's what friends do. He knows it's affection. It's a funny thing you're bringing up, which is that I think we're the same this way. And I think there's a lot of people in comedy are really mean stuff is safe for the people we care about the most. Of course. And I'm, I can be so polite to people that are dreadful to me. Oh yeah.

And who I don't, because you don't really care about. You don't want to be embroiled. Yeah. You don't want to be part of their causal web. You don't care. But you do, you, that's when you walk away, when you don't care, you know, you have nothing to say about them. You have nothing, I don't want to, I don't want them spending any time in my brain because

it's, it's a waste of my time. Right. You spent 40 years on this earth knowing, really knowing who you were. You weren't famous. Yes. Exactly. It didn't define me. Right.

In fact, I feared it. And I've still got a little bit of contempt for celebrity. Oh yeah. That's obvious. Well, but also, I mean, really, tell me more about that. I was never cared about money or, or, or things. As long as I had a beer and some mates, that's all I, that's all I cared about. And so when I got into this sort of game, it was, it was laughable.

It was ludicrous. But what they cared about, I mean, the first time I did the globes, what they care about what I said about them, the richest, they're all worried about their, they pick up symptoms of their, of their entourage, they, yes, man, it's like, fucking hell, it doesn't matter, mate. We're all going to, we're all going to die soon. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Nothing fucking matters. Yeah. Just, just chill out. I'm not very morbid, but I've, I find gravestones in graveyards to be very pompous. This must be set aside for me and this stone will mark where my remains are. And it must, I'm, you know, I think, what are you talking about in geological time? This will all be gone.

Yeah. I talk about this, like, you know, my new tour, Supernature, um, I'm so, like, humanity, Supernature, everything I've done is quite existential. And I think maybe it's because I'm an atheist, because I know this is all we've got, or I think this is all we've got. And I talk about that, that people are offended by that, like, you don't know, maybe I'll live again. And, uh, I don't fear, um, death, or rather I don't fear being dead, because I won't

know about it. That's the best thing about being dead. Uh, it's like being stupid. It's only painful for others. And so, um, I don't, I don't really worry about it. Um, I have a sense of mortality. I don't want to be told I've got six months to live. That would be awful.

If everyone died in their sleep, we'd have no anxiety. Right. It'd be great. I'd like a little, here's what I want. I don't want to go in my sleep. Really? No. I want, like, a moment so that I can look to a camera that isn't there and do some sort

of, just one last little bit, you know, to the camera that's not there. I just want to look to a camera that's not there. Well, I just, but I do that every day. I know. I wake up and I have the best day ever, every day, in case I die in my sleep. Right. But I don't want to know I'm dying. I just want 15, I want 20 seconds.

Really? I want 20 seconds. I probably wouldn't be in the mood. I want, I want to, I'd be, you know what I would do? I would make it more dramatic if they said you're going to have a heart attack in 20 seconds. Right. I would light myself on fire and jump out a tall window just so that it was spectacular.

See? I mean, someone says to me once, um, wouldn't you want to sort of die saving a baby from a burning building? I go, no, I'd like to die in my sleep dreaming. I was saving a baby from a burning building. That's very nice. You've got it all. You've got it all worked out so you don't even actually help a baby.

No. I don't get scared, I don't get burned, I die a hero in my mind. Right. And then I'm dead. Right. And that's great. And that's it. And then someone finds me and, uh, he's, uh, he's smiling.

Well, you know, there's that famous, there's that famous short story of you die saving the baby. And then they say, isn't Ricky Gervais a wonderful man? Now come with me, baby Adolf Hitler. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh. Yeah. And then we go to the big, the end question mark.

Yeah. Then people say, well, wait, why is Adolf Hitler being born now? And, uh, we, we'll have someone else work that out. It's, uh, it's a minefield, isn't it? Did you, you've met everybody you wanted to meet. I mean, I, I imagine, is there one person out there who you've felt like, oh, Jesus Christ, singer-songwriter of my youth I never met them have you pretty much you've met everybody well yeah but there's still people obviously you have sort of

heroes growing up and I like Muhammad Ali I thought I was that was incredible wouldn't that be it yeah I've never thought what it like to meet someone in case because it's fleeting and it's meaningless also what do you say if someone I mean we talked about David Bowie yeah I've had this where well that was great because I actually became friends with him and it was it was fulfilling and lovely and great but yeah but you know him as a person yeah exactly had just met him being a fan you know I had this it would be a story but yeah it wouldn't be the same but also I realized what years ago I got to

interview McCartney and I owe everything about the Beatles just everything you can possibly know about the Beatles I'm one of those people and I'm was talking to him and I found myself just thinking there's nothing I can say to him yeah that he hasn't heard a billion times yeah I said enjoy your work well what is that yeah I know yeah if I say you know what I really loved the Beatles you know that yeah yeah there's nothing and if you every now and then you've probably encountered people that want to say the thing to you that they're like I want to see the things Ricky Gervais that no one else I sort of like being I like

finding out someone's normal in a way and that's really weird like the first time I met Bowie we were I was newly famous and I was invited to one of those BBC things an audience with Bowie who played and I was there with Jane and the the director general of the BBC Greg Dyke bounced over went you're a huge Bowie fan I know a yeah yeah he went come and meet him I went really but yeah come on yeah he went hey Salman Salman Rushdie joined us so it's me Jane Salman Rushdie and Greg Dyke we go to meet Bowie he asked hello like that oh it's just eating a banana and we met him and he didn't know I was and I said

nice to meet you and then a few days later some he must have said it was that fat bloke and he got my email he was David Bowie he could do that and I just got an email from David Bowie saying I watched the office I laughed what do I do now and we sort of became pen pals and he invited me to do the Highline Festival in New York which I did my first my first New York thing that matters Square Garden and I thought because it was like a charity it would be full of posh people in tuxedos but of course it was I said um have they have they seen my live stuff what do I do he went anything as long as it's delightfully

offensive oh that's nice that's nice isn't it um and then I went we went to his apartment and we went in and the dormant there went oh you're here to see mr. Jones and I went oh yeah of course I'm here to see mr. Jones David Bowie doesn't really exist right you know he was Davey Jones yeah and we went upstairs and um it was just made a coffee he just had a it was after his some little heart incident yeah and he came around with two cups of coffee pretending to be shaky and old yeah and he's mucking up he's fucking having a laugh he's mucking around this is David Bowie this is my hero and the apartment

is is as you would imagine like something from a magazine yeah and there was this amazing huge statue this work about like a pewter thing I went that's amazing I said who's that I mean oh yeah the artist there was some trying to do you know Picasso did with 2d he made it sort of 3d he tried to flip it and make the the statue that was 3d 2d anyway my daughter likes to hit that with a hammer what's I don't know what I find over and over again with these people is there's a reason they became who they became exactly he was a it's not that driven hard-working brilliant but but also sensitive he's so he's sensitive

and his work was witty so he's witty you know yes there's a reason I also I also like the fact that they're they're aware of their their legends I quite like that right they know they know the press's perception of they play with and they they want to let you know that they're above that you know that that's nice oh we were talking about Paul McCartney went to his house for his birthday party and everyone was there the who pink Floyd everyone and and all his mates and family and everything and then he went to have a song and he went over the piano and just started like lady and I was like this is weird yeah

yeah this is that's mad isn't it yeah banging out a tune like a Victorian this is I got to go to a party years ago and Paul McCartney's there and it's a small party and I'm playing it cool and we're just chatting any lovely guy and then at one point in the evening he picks up the guitar that's when you start to feel yourself leave your body yeah but you keep dragging yourself back in like I can't don't leave stay here in the moment be here so McCartney's playing it and it's a right-handed guitar and he's playing it he's left-handed so he's playing it upside down and backwards you know he's and so that the the the low

E is on the bottom of the guitar and the high E is on the top which is exactly wrong yeah and he's fit he's doing it and it's working you know he's he's it's it's he's making great music and I just went over and I just couldn't help myself I said you're playing that guitar upside down and backwards this is also the police had come when you're telling another Beatles story it's an American in London telling a Beatles story yeah London got over the Beatles about 40 years ago the Americans here about McCartney at a party yes but you know he's playing this guitar the wrong way and I just said I'm sorry how

are you doing that he said well you know growing up I did Nick Jones guitar a lot apologies for the shitty accent I did Nick Jones guitar a lot so you know I couldn't restring it or it a crippled me so I had to learn to play it this way and I'm like you just you're just referencing what you know and so then I just I think liquid shit came out my eyes you know and at the same time he's just talking about yeah I had this friend John of course and I play lefty he plays righty I can't restring his guitar because he had a bit of a temper and would and would hit me if I did that yeah so it's like we're surprised it's like

we're surprised that they're normal people yeah and that that's that's a lovely refreshing surprise and oh with a bowie thing I never I never forgot he was my hero but sometimes I couldn't remember the same time I couldn't suddenly go oh that's my mate and he's my musical hero doesn't work if no you can't have the to do yeah no you can't I remember I think it was his 57th birthday I sent him an email saying 57 isn't it about time you've got a proper job right Ricky Gervais 43 comedian he sent back I have a proper job David Bowie rock god David Jones was taking the piss out of David Bowie yeah that's

why it's so sweet one of everyone's famous character types and you've done it so well as the pompous or self-involved idiot is is the best of course yeah when it's when it's done well and Peter Sellers did it beautifully as Klusso and he was so good at it but apparently he was just people would invite Peter Sellers to a party because they wanted to spend time with Peter Sellers of course and Peter Sellers would go there and he would just stand in the corner with that weird Peter Sellers smile and look at people and he said I don't know why anyone wants to have me here I'm not interesting at all and he

apparently wasn't he was yeah he was good at doing that of course yeah but then people wanted him to be Klusso we're like it was to a perfect extent right I feel sorry for these people doesn't happen so much now but like in the 70s and 80s some of the biggest entertainers were Ventriloquist and puppeteers yeah yeah and of course people always disappointed when they didn't bring the fucking monkey or the duck with them I read a story do you know do you have the red arrows in America like those well I don't know that we don't know it's a team of like people in fighter jets that do like

coordinated things in this we are blue and sure exactly yeah yeah okay so what we have the red hours right so I remember a story in the in the paper years ago where the red arrows had turned up to a nightclub and they couldn't get in and they said well we're the red arrows and they couldn't get in and I remember thinking the planes man it's that it's the it's more the planes we like mate six posh guys in our and sweaters going with the red hours not without the planes you're not boy yeah no there's also nothing like the same thing is travel around the world and go to places where they don't

know who you are oh yeah and I find that to be very refreshing I love it and I love sitting outside in a place for you because your shows international well it's getting worse but it's still it's still not like sitting outside a bar in London for me which I don't do anymore yeah so well when I'm in a place where no one bothers me and I can just sit out and have a beer again you know and and scratch my balls without it being put on YouTube that's a that's a joy so you do care about what someone thinks about you a person you'll never see again in your life yes I do care I suppose I still care yeah a little bit

yeah yeah I care about their feelings I'd never want to hurt their feelings but yes I do also care about oh I'd hate that on Twitter he was a it was a nasty I'd hate that because it's just not true yeah um so of course we yeah of course you care yeah well I've taken a lot of your time and you've been a good sport you know I've actually yeah more as a percentage of what I've got left in my life I took a huge amount it's and and tomorrow would be even worse you have five years we don't well we don't we don't know oh I do know well no but think of that exactly this turned out to be half the time I had left if I go

home now and die in two hours you took up 50% of the time I had left and then do you realize what this would be worth I love the fact that you thought I you didn't even think about like I've got the last interview oh I don't know I'm thinking about that right now I've got the last interview I'm not lying to you I would if I was told two hours I like you a lot I have an incredible amount of respect for you and your work and I think you're brilliant if you went in two hours I'm not gonna lie to you that would be huge for me yeah because I would have this do you see what I'm saying you know in a weird way because I like you

so much I hope that happens I hope I hope I die in two hours this this is worth this is fucking gold dust this to you yes yeah we both want the same thing yeah which is your death in two hours if it yeah yeah and I don't think that could happen to a nicer multi-millionaire than you thank you I've made bad investments I want you to know I've lost a lot of it I did at Tara I thought the fidget spinner was gonna be a much bigger thing for a lot of time and yeah but not for the penis I don't know why you thought that would be a I thought it would attach to the tip of the penis and it would be for people with ADD who like to touch

themselves in public I'm not masturbating masturbating that's a fidget spinner there's the headline yeah there you go we're gonna take that we're gonna take that Jervais rips into people who have ADD and like to masturbate this was lovely good for having me to your to your place don't be afraid to edit that down to a really tight six or seven minutes just the best stuff this will be about 40 seconds when we're done with it yeah it'll be a high-pitched yeah the whole time thank you let's get you a good man block because that's that's I know I love that I'm finally in the right weather every cell in my body is

screaming it is a I'm home it is I'm home no I'm serious it's a London dreary day out there and every cell in my body is saying this is where you're supposed to be you fucking moron yeah yeah yeah exactly yeah I'm gonna die because I shouldn't be there I'm not supposed to be there well that's not this doesn't forget that you say Mexico border but actually where you live used to be Mexico yes so you just stole that yes Mexico I wasn't even first of all it wasn't you it wasn't me no I was living in Ireland at the time my people but yes America stole that land and I accidentally made the same mistake many

people did which is a friend invited me down to to Cabo and I was in Cabo and I was looking around at the hills and I stupidly this is about six months ago I was looking around the hills and I said it looks so much like Los Angeles here and then I remembered yeah yeah that's right yeah this is Los Angeles we took this you idiot I was embarrassed and ashamed but I can tell you that well we ended on a high American imperialism genocide you learn it from us you learn it from us Rickage your vase be well and go into that good night thank you in the next two hours good night it's gonna make this huge yeah no I hope I die in my

sleep I believe in being honest with our listeners and that means exposing you to my flaws as a human being I'm terrible at tech always have been I look upon the rise of the computer with dread and so Sona has spent most of her time as my assistant talking me through or trying to convince me to give different things on the computer a try and I usually don't want to because I'm afraid something's gonna blow up but this I have to say and Sona and Gorilla you can back me up on this if you believe I'm telling the truth during the weeks that

we've been quarantined I've had to do a lot of stuff on my own and I think I'm starting to get pretty good what do you think well I'm worried you're gonna get too big ahead and start bossing us around tech wise I'm not worried about that at all I am proud of you Conan I think that you've come a long way because before if I was like okay open zoom you'd be like oh what's zoom you would know what it is but you act like you don't know and I think that you've come a long way I have a mental block about technology but because we're doing this podcast and we're all separated and I have to figure stuff out on my own I

often am sitting at my computer and I'll be honest I'll have you guys on speakerphone and you'll be saying now press control alt seven okay now go up to the file window now scroll down to bleep blorp now press blorp of bleep and blorp there should be a yellow box don't hit that box hit the green box now the green box should show you a picture of Eleanor Roosevelt don't click on that and and slowly we make our way through it you have been doing very well yeah I have to say I mean because we are still doing shows and you shoot your things you upload them on to the file-sharing website I mean you should you should be

really proud of yourself you're basically doing everything to keep the show on the air so nice job you're talking to me like a two-year-old who just successfully made a poopie you're doing so good you're doing such a good job you did a poopie I'm so proud of you going okay let's you're doing you're shooting a video all by yourself yeah yeah stupid but you're not very impressed when you can do something like this did you guys know that my brother is staying with me hey oh wow look at your brother I don't think I've ever mentioned that I have a twin what the hell how how'd you do that crazy how's it going wow get out

of here we're trying to record something I'm fascinated okay well you know what I love I love when people do visual jokes in an audio okay I knew that was coming no please let me explain to people what just happened we're all on zoom as we as we do this podcast and Matt gorelly through some of his chicanery trickery and skullduggery just had himself walk in behind him and lean over and wave how long did it take you to figure that out it's just a background change and you just shoot a little video of yourself beforehand yeah yeah well I'm sorry none of you could see that it was really not meant for a podcast I suppose it was

meant for you it was a little tree for you who knows if it'll even go in I really enjoyed that a lot yeah I did I did too I think Conan's upset because we were complimenting him and now you took the attention away I think that's it while we were complimenting him but Conan I really am proud of you I'm so proud of you all right all right that's that's a good one so no but I really am I honestly am I'm a dragging things I'm clicking things I'm you know control alt seeing and control alt being yeah well you're copying and pasting yeah yeah kind of well I like to it's simpler just to say control alt seeing and

control alt being I think then copy paste you're right there's no alt when you copy paste what are you alting well there's different ways I have a different computer mine is from the 50s vintage cardboard punch cards yeah I actually I use a computer that I bought off NASA it's a vintage it's a 1962 Maladex 19 75 JJJ and so before we do I do anything on the computer I have to stay up all night making punch cards by hand but I did successfully spot Sputnik about an hour ago so I'm feeling pretty good do you think you're gonna go on to do more computer related stuff after this now that you've kind of got

some courage no I think the minute I'm so on are you would you tell them what I'll do because you know me better than anybody the moment we get back to the office all of this will just erase from his mind it'll if I'll if I'll say hey Conan you want to set up a zoom meeting he'll be like I have no idea what that is I don't know what to do I've never done that before and then I'll say and who are you you know I my brain is an etch a sketch it really is my brain is an etch a sketch and I developed this over the years of doing the TV show but I would learn everything I needed to know for that day the guest today is Matt

LeBlanc and he likes onions and he also likes to ski and he also I would learn everything I needed to know and then the minute the show was over I would shake my head and all of that would be gone I have an idea you know because we're running out of pre-taped interviews and we're gonna have to do some with guests that are remote we should do it that the guest is set up technically by you you have to walk them through how to set up their mic and record and just see how that goes that's like asking a small rabbit to build a Dodge Challenger you know it's just not gonna be well there's a factory in Detroit and all the

equipment's there get to it little bunny you know what I love to do I used to love to do this if my dog I used to tell my dogs okay here's what I need you guys to do I need you to go listen to me listen to me I need you to get to my accountants office it's in the mid Wilshire district I need you to get to the fifth floor there are files there files there that pertain to my taxes in 1996 what you want to gonna do and then their expression is so good because I they just look at you in that with this kind of lost like I'm gonna try I'm gonna try and do this but just picturing their paws going through my files always

amuses me that's good that was good all right well we'll be cutting that I suppose that was really that's good I'm holding up Conan me how do I hold up in this time of pandemic I would say I'm holding up pretty well I think you know obviously it helps we're lucky that we get to keep working so I obviously feel for people who can't work and that is awful this isn't you know this is a time when if you have any kind of job as we do where we can keep doing it you just feel so grateful that and and the fact that I can I talk every day to my writers I for the show and I talked to my producer and we try and scheme and

we're trying to make stuff I think that's incredibly helpful yeah that's that's helping me a lot I don't know about you so now how are you doing you know what I want to say I know I don't know if we can even talk about this but if we don't do shows the staff doesn't get paid so I mean thanks for still doing shows otherwise I don't know what I would do because yeah we'd stop getting paid to be honest I did really look into is there a way to keep doing shows but give everyone the shaft oh they don't get paid and I had a team of lawyers I spent a lot of money looking into it I spent tens of thousands of dollars

working hard to see if there was a way to keep doing the show and gut the staff but I was told that that would quote not look good and also it's illegal to make people work for no money especially during a pandemic so yeah yeah I was gonna thank you I was actually gonna thank you but now I'm not so you still have to thank me because I failed to screw you and the staff over because I failed in my attempt yeah you have to thank me now you have to say thanks Conan for failing to destroy us oh well thanks Conan for failing to destroy us and thank you for I'll say this I'll say this of mice the TV show staff and the

podcast staff and everyone included here people are doing a an excellent job of sort of rallying around and figuring ways to do their job from home and contribute so that's kind of neat to see it's it's it's you know that the silver lining of some of this and there is some silver lining is you get to see people adapt and get very creative about how to do things and so I think that's been really lovely and Gourley I'm including you in that oh and you too Blay and you too Adam Sacks and you too engineer Bekdon I'm gonna start calling him engineer Bekdon feels like the like enterprise well also I was thinking more

like I'll start asking him or making him to wear a little train conductor's cap oh how's it going engineer Bekdon Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Sonamov Sessian and Conan O'Brien as himself produced by me Matt Gourley executive produced by Adam Sacks and Jeff Ross at Team Coco and Colin Anderson and Chris Bannon at Earwolf theme song by the White Stripes incidental music by Jimmy Vivino our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples the show is engineered by Will Bekdon you can rate and review this show on Apple

podcasts and you might find your review featured on a future episode got a question for Conan call the team Coco hotline at 323 451 2821 and leave a message it too could be featured on a future episode and if you haven't already please subscribe to Conan O'Brien needs a friend on Apple podcasts Stitcher or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded this has been a team Coco production in association with Earwolf