Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Sean and the Snapping Turtle

Episode Date: January 4, 2024

Conan chats with Sean from Halifax about the strangest things he’s found while diving and his rivalry with a local snapping turtle. Wanna get a chance to talk to Conan? Submit here: TeamCoco.com/CallConan

Hey, Sean, meet Conan and Sonah. Hey, Sean. Hey, Conan. Hey, Sean. Hey, Conan. Hey, Sean. Hey, Conan. Hey, Sean.

Hey, Conan. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean.

Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean.

Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean.

Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean. Hey, Sean all, a couple of questions for you. You're a good looking fella. Look at it. It's got a nice beard. Tell us what you wanted.

What tell us a little bit about yourself, Sean. Where are you right now? Well, I'm in Halifax, Noah's Go Show in Canada. Is it cold up there right now? We just had a huge snow storm and it just melted. Today, we had a temperature swing of 20 degrees Celsius, so we've lost dollar snow. Okay, all right.

Well, I love it up there. I love up north. I don't think I've been to Nova Scotia. I don't believe I've ever been there. I've been many places, but I have to get up there. Would I be welcome in Nova Scotia? Do you think, Sean? You'd be very welcome.

It's a very Irish culture, Scottish, mixed of everything. Sounds horrible. Yeah. Where's the words? Lots of famine. Oh good, here you go. Oh, now I'm feeling right at home. Irish Scottish.

We're gonna have to go around. Now what do you do, Sean? Tell me about yourself. What do you, what does Sean do with himself in his, in his time? Uh, in my spirit time, well, I, I'm a diver and explorer. I love spending time in the ocean, lakes, rivers, uh, doing clean ups on my own and looking for old stuff while I'm doing it. Wait a minute.

So you're an underwater explorer. Yes. You're like the Indiana Jones of the undersea world. It belonged in a museum as Indiana Jones would say. Yes. That's so cool. So are you going into lakes, streams, oceans, or all of the above?

All of the above, pretty much anything that I kind of take note of if I'm driving by or I'm just exploring or hiking somewhere. I'm like, wonder what's in there. And then just my general curiosity will take me into a body water. And then I'll just explore. So I never know what I'm going to come across, which has led to some pretty wild things. Well, I have to ask what are some of the, tell us about some of the strange things that you have

found in your underwater exploring up there in Nova Scotia. Yeah, sure. Well, in a remote fishing village, I found a full-on dildo that I wasn't able to return it to the original owner. You know, that's why I always encourage people, write your name. Got a label. Got a label your name on your dildo, and a phone number is good.

Yeah. Yeah. It would have really helped. Yeah. So you found, and when you found that dildo, did you retrieve it from the bottom, or did you just leave it there? I retrieved it because it doesn't belong.

It's not, you know, it's not like a true sea cucumber or anything like that. It's not a native d or anything. It's not a native dildo. It's not a native dildo. There are other sea dildos swimming around and they're like, you know, it's kind of ruined things to have that plastic dildo here. What else have you found? Maybe hard to talk about the dildo, but. I found like historic objects, you know, stuff,

because of Nova Scotia's proximity to, you know, Maine, Massachusetts, and, you know, England, I found like historic artifacts, like bottles like this that they're called torpedo bottles. Oh, look at that bottle. Why does it shape like a torpedo, do you think? So, yeah, so it actually had the name of the guy of Ritten Auditor who actually manufactured it

and bottled it from the 1850s. And it was made, this is kind of before the advent of like bottles that were like stone, stoneware or glass-isted under ends. And they made it so that the liquid would keep the carbonation and the cork wet. So it would keep it from drying out. And it would store them on ships

and they would kind of like roll around. And eventually they did away with bottles, but they built these. I mean, it looks beautiful. It's a beautiful looking bottle. Yes, it's pretty cool. And it's one of the oldest bottles ever kind of made in no discussion.

And I found it on a dive. It was pretty cool. And I found like stuff, you know, from American Civil War areas, like even pre-Civil War, like American coins from 1846. So you can't really tell on Zoom, but. No, I think that's a cookie.

I think you found in Oreo the first Oreo cookie. And then you got all excited. Yeah, there was no president Oreo. That's what you're talking about. What's like the scare? Have you ever found anything kind of scary down there? Yeah, I bleached white cabbage patch doll. Oh my God. That's so a cabbage patch doll and all the colors gone.

And it's so it's all the colors gone. And yeah, I was on a dive. It was probably like 25 feet down. And I'm going down, I have it on video because I have a GoPro that records my point of view. Well, I'm doing this. And so I go down and I do this free dive down and I pull this thing up.

Don't even know what it is at the time and I get up to the surface. And I just look at it and I go, holy shit, underwater. And I throw it because it scared me. It's like, you don't want to see anything humanoid looking back at you underwater. No, you see those eyes looking at you and it's bleached face and then it's as So. So come on. It's not the camera's faster. For 40 years.

Um, my God, Sean, I again, apologies for my rampant foolishness. What a cool thing to get into. And also, this seems like environmentally a good thing to do. You're going down. If you just see trash, you pick it up. Yeah, I just take everything with me. In the early days, I was just kind of taking bottles, but then I was like, well, if I'm recording this and putting it on my channel YouTube and take a talk or whatever, and people are watching it, me glaze over other things that doesn't look too good. So I started just, it took me a lot of work, but I would take everything with me and fill in my bag. And then I started taking pictures of all the trash and just

putting it online and just sharing it. And then it kind of took on a life of its own, wavy on whatever I thought it was going to be. And I'm just one person, right, doing it. And it's been really cool. But I like that there's a movement now. People trying to figure out all these different ways to get plastic out of the ocean. I applaud anyone, obviously you're doing this on a small scale, but this impetus to clean up is, I think, very cool. Yeah, and it's just a good way to spend my time. I love being in the water. I feel free there, and I love exploring the natural curiosity, and so a place that has, unfortunately, it's 200 plus years of trash in every

waterway and no matter where you go, but you never know if you're going to come across something cool, like you know, I've got skeleton keys or you know clay pipes actually brought this out for sonat because I know she likes that. She likes the gun. And that's cool. Would that still be would that still be function? Oh, you're putting that in your mouth. It's been underwater. Well, I cleaned it. You can do as a cleaning process,

but some of the old sweat is still inside it from whoever would have smoked it 200 years ago. Snacked it off up there like this long. And then they would have broke it when the nicotine got, or the pipe got too small and they would have checked the pipe. And so I found it perfect, you know, just as it was, when whoever had it last. And yeah, it's cool.

What about creatures? Are you afraid of any encountering any kind of creatures down there? Is that pretty, is there anything down there that would harm you? Well, sharks, obviously, sharks are around Nova Scotia's waters because the water is getting warmer. And then we've got seals, snapping turtles. There's this big snapping turtle that's kind of my nemesis right now.

In this river that I've been kind of working on. Oh, you've encountered this thing more than once. Yeah. I love that you have a nemesis. I love that you have a nemesis. You know what I mean? It's you. It's A-haven the whale.

And it's you and the snapping. Sean and the snapping turtle. Yeah, it's just this giant turtle that's just like in this river, he's like as big as my torso. Oh my God. And it's like, and if he takes a chunk out of me, like, I'm, it'll be my resting place in this river. You know, it's so funny, oh, because they really do snap.

I thought you meant he's just a turtle that snaps at you verbally. Yeah, I got my place. Come on. What if there was a breed of snapping journal that didn't bite at all? It's just like, hey, come on, why are you doing a Jesus Christ? Hey, watch this buddy. Easy. Now, wait a minute. Do you have any weapon with you?

You might want to have a knife on you or something. I've got a knife in case I get tangled in any like lines or rope or anything like that, but I could definitely use it to kill this turtle. I don't want to, but I mean, if the turtle it starts to attack you, you want to be able to cut its head off. I mean, literally cut its head off. Or if he has some well-timed barbs at my expense.

That's it. That's it. Have you's very passive aggressive snapping turtle? Oh, great idea, Sean. Why don't you find another broken pipe? That's a good use of your time. Hey, snapy sarcastic turtle. Well, do you have a question for me? Is there anything I can do to help you?

Oh, Conan, I was thinking like you said at the beginning, if you haven't been in Nova Scotia, if you ever make it up this way, if you ever would want to go for a dive with me and look for old bottles and do some work. You know what's cool? I would be intrigued by that. I'll tell you something, Sean, that my fans

are people that casual listeners may not know. I've never gone on a dive in my life. I love the water, snorkel, swim around, but I've never been certified to dive, I've never gone on a dive in my life. I love the water, snorkel, swim around, but I've never been certified to dive. I've never done that, and I'm curious to try it. That's something I'd like to try. So I think that would be cool, you know? And I could have your back with the snap and turtle.

I could have some witty comebacks. Like yeah, maybe you, maybe you first. Oh, that's not a good one. That's not a good first. That's not a good one. That's not a good one. That's the best I could come up with. It's like, it's like calling the turtles back. He's hurting my feelings. Don't worry, I got this.

Maybe you. Oh no. Not good. But let's not pretend you wouldn't just swim away as fast as possible if you ever saw this turtle. And just leave Sean just like. Yeah, I would leave you behind very quick. When I when I when he came out to me, I got out so fast that I like I just peed right in my

wet suit and I was it like so scared. Did the urine eject you out of the water? The guy is on the ground. He probably shot you right out. Right onto the riverbank and split my wet suit into a rocket. Syntatural, natural defense. No, I would do that. I would take you up on that because I'd love to find something.

I mean, I've never done it. How long would it take me to get certified? Is it take a couple of days? Well, yeah, you can do, like depends if you want to do it with, you know, there's a lot of actually different ways to get certified as well, but there's also devices that you can, it's like a breathing system where they battery operating, you don't have to be a certified diver, you can like breathe on through a hose from the surface and be in a depth of like 10 feet, which is kind of safe for equalization and stuff like that. So you could do something like that, or we could free dive

or snorkel together. Is there a way where I could just wear a VR helmet and I'm in a four seasons hotel room. Eating, eating crab cocktail and drinking shard nay and I'm but I'm kind of down there with you. Sure. I'm just in a big robe. Wow, this is fascinating, Sean. Conan, I thought we were going to the ocean. Why are we at this force? Yeah. No, I'm there with you virtually.

But then occasionally you hear me go, hold on a second. Yeah, hold on a second. My cupcakes are here. Just bring the wheel that in. Now is the tip included? OK, here you go. All right, there you go. Thanks a lot.

He's gonna get attacked by a turtle right now. Yeah, you're being killed by a turtle and what you hear through your headset is, no, no, no, no, no, these are vanilla and chocolate. I just wanna chocolate. All right, well, let's get that fucking stuff straightened out. Quick question, Sean. Do you have a, does your girlfriend or your partner

does, do you have someone in your life and do they approve of this? My wife Ruth, she does approve of it and she supports me, but she's not a big fan of the water or her sit-off. Whenever I go out, there's a bit of like, is he going to come back kind of thing? Wow. Wow, she doesn't... I got to admit, Sean, she doesn't seem that concerned.

She's going to come back. Sorry, she might't seem that concerned. She's gonna come back. She might come back, which she might not. You might say that. She might say, oh, hi. How are you? Hi. That's Ruth. That's a great idea.

Hi, Ruth, you're a very beautiful Ruth. It's very nice to see you. You're beautiful. And you don't like to go in the water with Sean, do you? Not as much. No, the first time I went snuggling with him, I realized how terrified I was of what was underneath the water. Yeah.

There's a great date. Yeah. Yeah. So you kind of loath what your husband does with his time. You hate it. Uh, do I hate what he does? Yeah. Yeah.

Um, I, you know what? I, I want him to do what he's passionate about. So I try not to stand in the way of it. However, that being said, there have been times when he without diving. And like, there was actually recently a time when there was this, uh, lightning struck out behind our property. Like, I watched the bolt hit the ground out behind our, like, on our property and felt the ground out behind our like on our property and felt the ground shake and so

and Sean was out in the river at that time so I was like it's happening him and like trying to call him be like hey like are you live and so I was playing a turtle yeah and also you know you'd find someone else very quickly oh I'm so beautiful you know there's'd find someone else very quickly. Oh, come on. Oh, I'm so beautiful. You know, there's a lot of, hey, if we learn one thing, there's a lot of fish in the sea. Oh, no! Who's behind you? That's my dad.

This one just walked in. Who's that guy? That's my son, Jackson. He's 11. Jackson, sorry. Why did Jackson walk in just as I was invoking, you're untimely demise. Jackson, your father's gonna be fine. Do you like to go underwater, Jackson?

Do you like to go underwater with me? It's like one time. Wait, there's another chance. Who's that guy? That's my son, Owen. That's what? Or it's a, how do you have time to go in the water? You have like 30 kids.

They just keep wandering in. Hey, let's get it all in here now. Let's just make sure it's just it. So we got Jackson and Owen. Yeah, Jackson and Owen. Yeah, my boys and our daughter's, our daughter Zoe who's upstairs. When they actually she found out I was going to be on her show, she asked if you were some kind of TikTok guy. I was the TikTok guy of the 90s. Yeah, that's

what I said. Yeah, you know, back, that's probably a long time ago to go to these kids. These are very nice looking kids and very interested in clearly, you know, being in the room. Yeah, that's a torpedo bottle. That's a torpedo, huh? Jackson, or is that Owen or is that? They were excited. I was sorry, that was Owen. That was Jackson. That's Owen.

No, let me tell you who's here. The one next to you was Owen, the other one's Jackson. Yeah. He's teasing it up. Oh my God, look at him. He's, oh, I recognize that kid. That kid's gonna be a late night host in 12 years. Oh no.

And never know the true love of a woman. It's all of our fate. Okay, I'm definitely listening to Conan O'Brien forget for a sleeping time. Oh my God. He just used to be. He used to be. He used to be. He used to be. He used to be. He used to be. He used to be.

He used to be. He used to be. He used to be. He used to be. He used to be. This me hey trust me that looks like that's that's my nemesis you have the snapping turtle I Have Owen Just looming out of the deep comes out of nowhere and just blows me apart with his yeah this podcast I'll put you to sleep Oh my god My daughter Zoe hi Zoe how are you? Okay, well oh my god. That's my daughter. Zoe. Hi Zoe, how are you? Hi family. We're okay.

Well, uh, oh my god. It's just incredible. Yeah. That's amazing. I have the feeling that there's just more kids. Be like just coming out of some machine. I just can't keep filling the room with kids. This is hilarious. They're coming out of the rivers.

Yeah, exactly. He found them. I find a lot of things of the rivers. Yeah, exactly. I found a lot of things in the rivers. Kids, turtles. None of these children are biologically yours. You found them. You found them in different bottles at the bottom of the ocean. Well, you have a lovely family, Sean. You have much to appreciate.

But I can also see why occasionally, you want to go sit at the bottom of a river. Yeah, because there are 30 kids in your room, and you get a little piece and quiet, and there they go. And there they go. All right, well, Sean, really nice talking to you and you two Conan, you're expanding family, and be safe, and I think yeah

that's it for you enough kids that's enough oh the door's opening again I said they're coming in again let's get out all right see you later Sean bye see you guys Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Conan O'Brien Sonom of Sessian and Matt Goryley produced by me Matt Gory, executive produced by Adam Sachs, Nick Liao, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Your Wolf. Themesong by the White Stripes, Incidental Music by Jimmy Vino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our Associate Talent Producer is Jennifer

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