Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Singapore Sona

Episode Date: April 13, 2023

Conan talks to Dee in Singapore about working as a hair stylist, dating, and Conan’s long lost leather jacket.

Konan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com slash call Conan. Okay, let's get started. Hi, Dee. Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan. Hi. That's me.

Hi, Dee. How are you, Dee? It is you. Really good, Conan. Look at you. Wow. Look at me. You got a little beard going on.

Look at me. Yeah, I just, I took a little break from shaving. And I'm starting to look like the Groton fisherman. Oh, wait. That's the reference that no one's going to get. Groton. Dee, where are you calling us from? Wow.

I'm from Singapore. So that's what's happening. Six in the morning here. I'm up and early for you guys. I've never, I've never been to Singapore. Tell me. Well, you should. Absolutely.

Tell me a little bit about yourself. What do you do? How's your life going? You know, lay it on me. Oh, okay. Wow. This feels like a fever dream. So I'm just going to need to settle in a bit.

Because wow. Look at you guys. You guys are beautiful. All of you are beautiful. Oh, thank you. All of you are beautiful. You're extraordinary. You're very stunning.

Yeah, you're the beautiful one. Yeah. Yeah. We feel, we feel terrible compared to you. Oh, yeah. Son is beautiful. Son is beautiful. You might marry a little bit.

Son is a very attractive woman. Just a couple hot girls. You and me. Yeah. And then there's me and gorelly. Don't take me down with you. A bunch of grapes. D, tell us about your life.

What's happening? Well, what is happening? Let's see. What do you do? What do you do? I work at a hair salon. So I do a lot of hair stuff. Okay.

Yeah. Are you actually a hair stylist? No, I'm not, though. I wish I was, but I think there's a lot of letters to climb for that. Eventually, maybe I will. Well, wait. What do you do with the hair salon? What do I do?

I do like reception. Oh, okay. Yeah. I manage things, make sure nothing's on fire. Okay. For a second there, I thought you didn't have a job there. You just hung around. Yeah.

Honestly, oftentimes I do. Oftentimes I do. I'm just there. I'm just, guys, if you need me, I'm here. But yeah, I get to like wash people's hair right now and then. I get to pop some color on every now and then. Yeah. What?

Okay. That's, now we're, now we're talking because this fascinates me. Yeah. You wash men and women's hair, right? Yes. Yes. Mostly women, men. There's a couple of them who pop in every now and then, which is strange to me.

Like, you know, when men don't go to like a barbershop and they come to like a hairdresser. Yeah. It's a weird one. It's a strange one. And then they're there and I'm like, why are you here? Like this is a very women friendly, cozy space and you're just coming in with your men. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't have to wash it, you know. Dee, I have a theory that maybe some of these men would just like their hair washed by a beautiful woman. Is that possible? Honestly, yes. Because like, I mean, we're all women working as well. We're all women. So it's like, I think they just come in to like have a look at us, which is fine.

Yeah. I'm okay with that. Okay. It's just strange when you have to wash the hair because they just bare and your hands in the greasy hair and I don't know. It's just strange. They don't move right. Yeah.

I don't know if you guys can relate. They don't what? They don't like move right. What do you mean? Like you gotta like tilt your head a little. Yeah. Oh, I get that. I know when I've had my hair washed at a salon.

I don't know what they want. So I try to anticipate it. Oh, no. That's the worst thing you could do. Well, it's not that bad. I tell you. Here's what I do. In that same idea, D, what I do, you know, when you have to register your face on an

iPhone, you know, facial recognition, I always just, when my hair is being washed, I think it helps. I move it constantly. Oh my God. That's eerie. So they can anticipate it. And then I go counterclockwise. Oh.

And sometimes I do it very rapidly. Absolutely. And it drives me insane. I'm like, you can't. I'm just going to end up waterboarding you. So you got to see that. Just listen to instructions. Yeah.

Wow. Okay. So you work at this? Today in my life, I guess. Okay. And tell us how's your life going? Tell me about your life or things on the up and down. Oh, Conan.

I want to help you. You hear the deep questions here at six in the morning. Let's see. What is going on? What do I need help with? I love every question. She turns back to you with a question. You want to know how it's going for me?

I'm in terrible trouble. I'm trapped in a room with people that don't respect me. You know, yeah, I, you know, aging out of a career. I mean, what am I going to tell you? You know, it's over for me. I'm at the very end of my life. Yeah. It's okay.

Oh no. Yeah. No one was saying it. No, like I had to because you were hoping someone would say it. Life expected to see in my family. I think I have six months to go. Yeah. But that's, it's fine.

I've had a good ride. So that's what's happening with me. That's how I feel though. Like I feel the same way. What are you talking about? You're a beautiful young woman. How old are you? You're the opposite of him.

How old are you? No, I'm 27, but you know, you're 27. Oh yeah, you're done. Yeah. No, I mean, you have another. It feels just like it. Yeah. You have at least two years to go.

I know. I've been to, I thought that two years ago, but here we are. So. Do you have bucket list items? Yeah. What do you want to do? You're young. You're very attractive.

You've got your whole life ahead of you, but what are the things that you'd like to do? What do you dream of doing that would put some zest into your life? Let's see. I don't know. Maybe do something like bungee jump. Why not? That could be fine.

Well, there's, I have a good, why not? Just put that on that. Yeah. Yeah. If the cord's too long, you, you hit the, the canyon floor. Well, I think they would have sorted that out. Yeah. They figured that out before you do it.

I think they, in some places they, they use the first four people to sort it out. Yeah. Yeah. In fact. I think they just send you off and then they've crossed their fingers. Yeah. Yeah. And then they, okay, that one's dead.

Let's, let's cut six feet off the rope, you know, let's try it again. Okay. That one dead too. Another, a few more. It's like cutting hair. You always want to leave it a little long to see if it's okay. And then you cut from there. Absolutely.

There you go. Yeah. Yeah. It's precisely how it works. Yeah. It makes sense. But yeah. I like you because no matter what stupid thing I say, you're right there to say, yes,

of course, which is really nice. No, but. I want the same length. We're good. Can I ask you, and if I'm, it's just too personal, you can say back off, but how's your romantic life going? Oh, back off Conan. You know, I feel like I'm asking in a fatherly, you know, uncle way.

Yeah. Uncle Conan. All right. So grab your tea. Hmm. There's, there's things that goes on, you know, in your 27. Yeah. No, I don't.

I don't know. Yeah. Nothing happened when I was 27. Yeah. No, it was a quiet, quiet time in my life. Of course it was the late 1950s. We were all worried about Sputnik, but that's not the point. Yeah.

Oh, I've got gorelly now. You do. Don't stop. Keep going. Yeah. Let's see more of that. So, uh, so I mean, uh, what's the dating scene, uh, like in Singapore? There's not much of a scene, I would say.

Well, there is, but not one that, I don't know, goes well with me. So I don't know. It's like, I, this, this thing's happening here and there. I just, you know, I don't really like to put my finger on it and be like, oh, that's the one for me. Or it does things happening, Conan. Things are looking good though. So that's,

Oh, good. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, so you got something. Oh, there's something. Exactly. There's a potential, uh, person out there of interest. Possibly.

Yes. But you might jeopardize it. I'm not going to jeopardize anything. I just want to know who this person is. She can't talk about it because then he's going to hear it and he's going to be like, wait a minute. This is moving too fast for me because I've been there. Yes.

I know. Unless he really is into her and is like, well, like is bolstered by this and then suddenly decides to make more reciprocation because he feels confident. That's what ladies like is more reciprocation. What do you mean? I've seen that on a little candy heart. Uh, I would like to reciprocate with you. So you don't want to talk specifically about this person.

Yeah. You don't want to like sabotage it, you know, in any way. Yeah. When are you seeing him again? Maybe. Come on. That's the thing. Let it go.

Just tell us his name. Yeah. No, guys. I'm with you, Dee. I'm going to try to comment. No. I need to get involved. I need to meet this guy.

Yeah. Because Dee, we care about you. We have a bond with you. And I don't want just some anybody coming along. Right. You know, some, you know, Johnny Singapore. Well, that's his name. Isn't Johnny Singapore?

I hate that guy. I know. This is why she didn't want to see him. He does. He's hitting quitting. I'm going to reciprocate. Yeah. Oh, God.

My name's Johnny Singapore. Call it off now. Do you understand? Got it. Got it. Uncle Conan. Yeah. Dee, tell us, do your parents get involved in this stuff?

Oh, no, not at all. No, no, not at all. I'm very private, I like to say, except I just sit this on the podcast. Yeah. Yeah. But you didn't, I mean, first of all. Yeah, like no one's going to see this anyway.

So it's fine. Okay. You just crossed a line, Dee. I'm going to say, obviously, I'm going to see it and like three other people I know. I like Dee. I do like you too. I'll show you if I'm a fan.

Dee, you would work. You would fit right into my organization. Yes. Yeah. We would be best friends. You're like Singapore Sona. That's my favorite cocktail. You are the Singapore Sona.

If we could just keep you away from Singapore, Johnny, we're okay. Yeah. Is there a Singapore version of me? Are there guys like me in Singapore? I wish Conan. I wish. I've always thought that like that was a Conan out there for

me. I'll be done. I'll be settled. Oh, wow. That's very flattering. Well, I want to tell all the ladies out there, no matter where you live in the world, there's a Conan out there for you. What a curse.

So catch your, get a double bolt for your door. Stay off the streets until they catch him. Tell your children about the dangers of a Conan in your neighborhood. Is there a Conan in your neighborhood? Stay low. I think. Yeah.

The whole campaign, if you see something, say something, start it with, if there's a Conan in your, on your subway. Teach your children how to spot a Conan. Is he six, four? Red beady eyes. Like the communists. Does his hair look like a torch that would be served at a French reception?

Tree blowing in the wind or Conan? Be sure you know the difference. Wow. Man, you're a lot of fun, Dee. I hope this guy, listen, here's my advice to you. You have to make sure that you have high standards because you're a special person. You have to have high standards.

And be honest, Sona, I do tell this to the women that work for me. Yeah. And I've always have that you cannot settle. You can't say, okay, good enough. You have to hold out. Well, then why are they working for you? I say professionally.

Professionally. You have to settle. Yes. Settle. Romantically don't settle. But if you get a chance to work for sort of a shitty podcast operation, grab it. That's cool.

Yeah. I think that's really good. Don't settle. And I like your free spirit. I like your free spirit and your optimism. Do you know what you want to do with yourself? Do you think there's a future for you working in this hair salon business or do you want to do something else completely?

Yeah. I think I can see myself growing in this industry. We'll see though, because I don't know. I like to, I tend to do different things that, you know, after a while. So I've been doing this for like two years now and now I want to do something else. Maybe who knows? Yeah.

No, at your age. I think I'm not too worried about that. Yeah. At your age, I liked to, two years was about the maximum that, seriously, I'm not joking. When I was in my 20s, if I did something for more than two years, it felt like an eternity. I just wanted to move on to the next thing.

Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. No stress, right? I'm only 27, right? No stress. No pressure. Yeah.

Yeah. I think you're feeling some stress. I'm getting old or anything. No, you're not. You're not. You're not. Get over that right now. You don't know that.

You're talking like someone who's in there. The next time you see me, I'll be like 52. Oh. Oh. I'll be long dead. Yeah. Oh, I know. You won't.

What? Okay. Yeah, he might. Yeah. Someone said you're a fan of my style, my clothing style. Is that true? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

You had a question about his fashion sense, right? Yeah. You had a question for me, right? Yeah. No, basically I was just thinking, what happened to your leather jacket, the one that you used to wear all the time? Like, that was you at your peak, I would think. Oh, where is it?

Where is he? Well, it's a she, first of all. Oh, okay. Her name is Enid. And no, I did have one leather jacket that I wore in so many different remotes. And then... Yeah, that's the one. I think after Kevin Hart and Ice Cube just were mocking me so much for my clothing style.

Oh, no. Yeah, that I... They said I looked like a male prostitute. No, they did. And they said, we didn't make a lot of money off of you. We're going to put you out on the street. Oh, Conan, did that hurt your feelings? No, I found it very erotic.

And it's another money, it's another revenue source. So... It's kind of a compliment. I think it is. Yeah. I think it is. Absolutely it is. I still wear...

I have a weakness for leather coats, especially old ones. I think the one you're talking about is from the late 1940s or the 1950s. I love those jackets. The problem is, any jacket that was made, the ones I love are like 40 years old. They're real sort of antiques. The arms are always too short. The arms are always too short. Yeah.

Because people... There was nobody like me until they had proper nutrition. So... Whenever I see a jacket I really love, I... You know, in some cool store that is from the 40s or the 50s, I put it on. And it's all beat up and cool. And the sleeves come to about here. Yeah, that's true.

So it's hard for me to find those. But I will... I'm gonna... Just because you said so, I'm gonna start wearing it more often again. You should. Put it on the podcast. Just bring her out every now and then. You know, I'm sure the fans would love to see.

Why not? Yeah. You've got such a... Doesn't Dee have... Yeah, she's got it style. She's got it, yeah. You know, I have to say, I don't pretty much... I would do anything Dee told me to do.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just dangerous. Like, it is very dangerous. Like, I don't care what it is. If she said, come on, Conan, just get on the motorcycle and drive over the flaming barrel. Dee, now's your chance. Ask him, get him to do something, you know?

Exactly. Could she just do a backslip now? I don't know. Why not? You know, I think, if you say I can do it, Dee, I can do it. So... Do it. No, don't do it, actually.

Do it. Do it. Oh, okay. I was gonna... Do it. His bones are a bit fragile now. That's just... Take care of you.

You're fine. What if I get three really strong men to just rotate my body? Slowly. And then set me down and then immediately take me for a nap. We're gonna have to look outside the building for that. Yeah, I'll find it. Dee, it's really nice talking to you. You've got...

Yeah. You're very cool and you're... And you guys are so too. No, you really are. You're really self-possessed and you are beautiful and very young and everything's looking your way. But don't forget what I said. Do not settle.

Yeah. You need a really special... Oh, thank you. You need a really special guy. That's so sweet. It's gotta be someone really special. And they've got a clear... They gotta get my approval, whoever it is.

Yeah. Okay, got it. I'll be your wingman. Yeah. You should come out to Singapore sometime. Take a walk. Where would you take Conan to do? What would we do if I came and visited you in Singapore?

I don't know. We're gonna take lots of walks. We're gonna walk a lot. I mean, I wish I could tell you this beautiful things to see, but really, it's just skyscrapers. It's sunny. It's really sunny. That's not gonna be good for you.

It's the tropics, right? Yeah. I don't know. Maybe you shouldn't come then, because it's... Dee, you spoke for like 30 seconds and went from, you've gotta come to,

you really shouldn't come. Yeah. Maybe not the tourism board for you. Yeah. If there's a really expensive restaurant you've always wanted to go to, you can have them take you there. What are you talking about?

Yeah. Just like that. Or if there's like a nice shop you've always wanted to shop in, you could take him there. Yeah. And I've been like, oh, I really like this jacket.

Whoops. I wish someone got it for me. Yes. Yes. Yeah. And I'd be next to you going, yeah, I wish someone would. Well, anyway,

let's go find an international house of panties. Yeah. Yeah. It's Singapore. It's international. It's international. Come on. So does.

Legally, the UN says they have to exist in every country. Yeah. Well, Dee, I will make it there someday. I will. And I'll find you. You should.

Bring back your travel stuff, mate. You need to do that again. Okay. I'm telling you what to do. What am I? Yeah. No, no. Listen, Dee,

you are very persuasive and very cool and everything you say, I really do feel like, yep, Dee's right. I got to get that leather jacket. I got to get back on the road. It's time to go. Go, go, go.

Yeah, we got to stop a little. That is 2023, baby. Let's go. Wow. Yeah. All right. Yeah. Yeah.

I know. I know. I know. Much more attractive than Austin Powers. Hey, Dee, thank you so much. It was really cool talking to you. Thank you. You guys are amazing.

Have a great day. Tell those creeps that are hanging around the salon. The salon, yeah. That we know what they're up to. That I'm onto them. That's another thing I could do. I could come there

and I could hang out the salon and anytime a guy comes in, I will toss that guy right on his ass. Yeah. Anytime a Johnny Singapore comes up, they can get through you. They can get past. Or you could give them the shampoo

and they'll be like, we're never coming back here. Yeah. Yeah, that's good. You know what? They come to you and say, oh, Dee, I'd love it if you shampooed my hair and you'd say,

oh, I'm not available today and you step aside and I'm there. And I'm like, hello. Hello. All right. And I'll give you a nice shampoo. But it's going to be the I Live Lucy paradox

where they go, okay. Yeah, that's true. We got to avoid that. Hey, Dee. Thank you so much. Have an amazing day. Thank you again.

You guys look great. Bye. Bye. Bye. Conan O'Brien needs a fan with Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian and Matt Gorely. Produced by me, Matt Gorely,

executive produced by Adam Sacks, Joanna Salateroff and Jeff Ross at Team Coco and Colin Anderson at Earwolf. Music by Jimmy Vivino. Supervising producer Aaron Blair, associate talent producer Jennifer Samples, associate producers Sean Doherty

and Lisa Berm. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded. This has been a Team Coco Production

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