Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Sir Patrick Stewart

Episode Date: October 16, 2023

Sir Patrick Stewart feels proud, happy, honored to be Conan O’Brien’s Friend. Sir Patrick Stewart sits down with Conan to talk about his humble roots, his new book Making It So, and about what it’s like for the two of them to share a passionate kiss. And later, the gang discusses yet another new podcast from Matt Gourley. For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com.

Hi, my name is Patrick Stewart. And, you know, I always would like to do that, as if I were on, you know, the radio. Okay, please. Hello, my name is Patrick Stewart. I thought it always falls away, anyway. And I... Anyway, I am so delighted and honored to be here because the last time we could have done this I wasn't available. That's true. You remember? Have you held it against me? No, I haven't held it against you. You said you weren't available and I said that's too bad. It was all planned and we were ready to go and then I walked down the street and I saw you eating a delicious meal in a restaurant.

Oh no! Cut that asshole! And you saw me and I saw you duck down underneath the table. No, you were avert. It was not your fault. You couldn't make it, but you're here now. And I'm sure you're delighted to be Conan O'Brien's friend. Oh yes! Oh!

I knew I'd miss something. But I thought, no, that's not important. That's a fruity and slip. And I feel proud, happy, honored, to be Conan O'Brien's friend. God bless you, sir. Fall is here, here and now, back to school. Ring the bell, the brand new shoes, walking loose, climb the fence, books and pens. I can tell that we are gonna be friends.

I can tell that we are gonna be friends. Hey there, welcome to Conan O'Brien. Needs a friend, podcast that gives much more than it ever takes. Don't know what that means, just set it. What do you mean? I put no thought into these introductions. Sonna, nice to see you. Nice to see you.

Your leg is going a little fast today. I know what. Are you nervous about something? Yeah, I'm really scared to be here. I don't know. You might be nervous. Your leg is going like a jackhead. I think I have too much chocolate before we recorded.

I really think it's like sugar is pumping through me. We all had a different place at this round table that I grew up at in our kitchen. And my mother, my seat was next to my mother. My mother was to my right. So I was on her left. And I have a jiggly leg. Yeah. You see the camera?

You see the camera? It goes like a jackhammer. And my mother used to just grab it like a vice and squeeze it and go, don't do that people think something's wrong with you. Oh, yes. Yeah. And so we cleared that up. No one's ever thought something's wrong with me. That's what it was. Yeah. Yeah. Is that one thing? Yeah. Yeah. She didn't me, don't make 900,000 hours of crazy fucked up content and put it all over the internet. That leg still, maybe if the leg was going,

I'd be perfectly normal. Maybe you should get a full leg cast, like a cast iron cast or then your whole body would start to fake legs. So that my torso goes through, my torso's there, but then I just have fake, and then I could like add calf muscles, make them more attractive. Where are your legs?

Where are your normal legs? How do you get around? Where are your real legs? I don't know, I have them removed. Oh, it's not like they're hidden? I should have had them hidden, and I don't know why I went to remove. So it's so extreme.

I'm questioning that. That's a bad idea. I don't know, I'm just going ahead with it anyway. So this is always. Yes, I've always had a restless leg, and I don't know. I'm just going ahead with it anyway. So this is always. Yes, I've always had a restless leg. And I don't know why I called you out on yours because you really don't. You're a problemless.

I'm usually chill. What about you, Gourley? Do you have any ticks like that or any leg stuff? Well, I have the actual restless legs condition that night when you get those horrible restless legs. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is either. It's like a syndrome.

It's the thing where you get like pins and needles and you can't sleep in your legs. Feel crazy. Well that sounds serious. Oh, are you okay? I probably not. Well you should get checked out. I have. There's nothing you can be done about it. It's neurological. They don't know what causes it. So when you lay down your legs have pins and needles? Yeah, or they feel like they're like half asleep, but you got to move them even though that doesn't really help Okay, I'm gonna ask our listeners if there is a doctor listening or someone who knows about this condition Could you please contact us because you might there might be something going on here. How do they contact us?

I'm sure it will tell us phone number that they can leave a voicemail on I'm Spoon my daughter. I love it. I love that we're a podcast that has a phone number. There's a phone number 1555 Rigly 22 You've spoken to a doctor. I have you was it a good doctor or like some sort of cookie doctor that you might have? I was a wish doctor. I thought so. It was it was my doctor my general practitioner. Everything's fine Don't don't it's no one should ever know. Well, no. You're kept awake at night by pins and needles feelings in your legs.

Don't go away. It's interesting. I don't know what that is. What if it just turns out you guys have termites? Oh, no, you're being eaten. Oh, no, you're being eaten. Yeah, you're really being eaten alive as you lay in bed. That's the problem.

The solution I take it. I, yeah, I have an, I have an itchy back, like my right shoulder blade. And recently my dermatologist said there's absolutely nothing there. And it's just neurological. It's an itch that isn't there. It's a phantom itch. Yeah. Oh my god.

Yeah. Do you have a back scratcher? We did have one. Then you fired him. Yeah. I found it. It's illegal to pay a man that little to scratch your back. The better business bureau got involved. No, I, I think my wife found one.

And then it went, it disappeared. And now I swear to God, we'll be watching TV at night. And I'll stand up, get off the couch, go over to the wall, find a corner. And I'll, I'm like a bear in the woods. I start raking my back across the edge of a doorway because, and I'm told it's quite common, it's something that happens, it's neurological, it's not real, but it feels real to me. We're fucked up.

Yeah. Well, this is why we've been driven to this gig, I think. You both have things that are really not diagnosable. They're just neurological. Yeah, that's Weird. Well, I don't know you might have stuff to you just I don't think you go to a doctor and stuff. What do you mean? I don't know you you're you have you're I know that your parents are very old school. Yes, they are old school You tell me all the time that your father grew up in a village. Yes. Yes, and That so I don't know if you grew up. I mean, did they, I don't know what happened.

Did they what? Did you grow up in a small village? Okay, you know what, we weren't as dependent on doctors as a lot of people are, but maybe that's a good thing. Sure. But I also, I don't think I have anything with my body that's like a neurological thing. I mean, I feel like you guys, like that should be more concerning, but you're both like, eh, whatever.

When you say it's not a bad thing that you never went to the doctor as a child. Yeah. I say we didn't rely on doctors as much as a lot of people. You said dependent, and that's not a bad thing. Yeah, it's not that bad. But the first time I met your dad, I noticed that he has a pipe going through his head.

And I said, what about that pipe? And you went, oh, it'll go away on its own. He said this truck ahead of me, dropped this off on the highway, went through my head. 1969, but it'll be okay. Why do you pick on my dad so much? I love your dad. I know.

He's got the best mustache I've ever seen. My dad's the best. What would their remedy be for his neurological phantomage? Yeah. What would your mom say to do? Cause like you trust, she has some old like folk remedies. She does have, she's very much in the old sort of like voodoo thing. Like when we wanted to have babies, I think I told you,

she like buried a baby under a bush. I like baby. I like baby. I don't really know baby. I don't really know baby. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. A baby doll. I guess what it gonna work. Can I say, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a, wait a minute, wait a minute She buried a doll under a bush. Is it a talking doll? No, once we had the boy, she was like, it's done. It worked. Can I say something? I was by your house from over the last time and I was walking around the backyard and I stepped on what I loose piece of grass and I heard,

momma, momma, that baby's still alive. No, it's a talking baby. Wait, is this baby? So somewhere there's just a dirt-crusted baby sitting in your mom's house? Yeah. Probably hundreds of them. Oh, God. Blue mouse.

Every day that Sonna was married. For every day Sonna was married, she would do it. 900 plastic baby dolls were stolen yesterday from Walmart. Plus a shovel. Oh, please find either one, please report. Oh, man. So, yeah. But I don't know.

I mean, they would, I think I really think you too need to figure out why these things are happening to your bodies. I think we should talk to your mom. Yeah. I think my mom could fix it. Can we do it in? Yeah, your mother, because I've noticed in the past when I have not felt well, you have told me, oh, here's what my mom would do,

and it's, it sounds pretty cool. Like your mom has good, I'm saying this, it sounds like she has really good remedies for some things. The bearing the plastic baby that she's looking for. There's a few missteps, but for the most part, she's been pretty, like my brother and I are pretty healthy people. Like we don't, you know, we don't, we've been, we've, we're okay.

We're alive. Yeah, you don't say convincing. Yeah. We're alive. Okay, Mr. Needle legs and weird itch on my back. I'm it. Fenton. Restless legs.

Thank you very much. Restless legs. You two are fucked up and you're getting mad at me. Cause of the way I'm dealing with my body. We never got mad at you You come from a very judgy place. I don't think so. Yes, you are you're coming from a very Judgy place. The whole thing started with you going you guys need to get that fucking checked out. Yeah You went from telling us you got to get that fucking checked out to my mother buried a baby in the backyard That we're allowed to judge by the way.

By the way, that some judgment is in order. Oh, it works. Like I have two. The sentence thing. How do you think my two children happened? You think that just happened? Well, I have a theory. Oh, did she bury two?

No, just watch. No, just watch. You just wanted children of some kind. I don't think it matters how many you bury. How does this work if you're like, I don't think it matters how many you bury. How does this work if you're like, I really want a turkey sandwich. Do you just bury a turkey sandwich?

Oh my God. No, you just go get a turkey sandwich, Matt. That's how it works. Okay, no, but you have to bury that sandwich then hope another sandwich comes. And then when that sandwich doesn't come, you have to buy that sandwich and bury it. You die of starvation with 900 turkey sandwiches

buried under the ground. You go, go rub your back on the wall. Oh Your back go rub your back. I love that put down I go rub it you know it's true story my mother if she was losing an argument to one of my sisters And I swear to God I was there for this she said I go wash your face 1970 my sister one of my sisters are gonna like no, but mom, I know that she was like, go wash your face. Go wash your face.

I'm gonna use go wash your face. I'm gonna use that on Liza. Next time she's talking to me. Next time she's saying, you know, how dare you smash all the dishes in the kitchen? Which I do occasionally. It's sort of like a Zorba the Greek thing. Yeah, Zorba.

It was good luck. Yeah. And then she gets mad at me. I'm like, I go wash it face. I'm gonna try it and see how it works. No, I don't want you to say to lies it. But I want to definitely say it to someone. I go bury a baby.

Yeah, I go bury the baby. Okay. Dark, very dark. It is dark. You got to say plastic baby or baby doll. Yeah. Which is not what you did. I know, I should have said that.

Well, you're on fault. Anyway, my guest today horrified that he's here. I know, he should leave. He should leave. He should beam out. Township actor who played Captain Jean-Luc Picard in Star Trek, the next generation, and Professor X in the X-Men movies.

Now he's written a new memoir, making it so. ["Memoirs of the Star Trek"] Surpetrics Stewart. Welcome. I'm going to start by saying something I don't get to say often, which is, I think one of the last times I saw you, we kissed, full on on the lips. It was on my show and I forget how it happened. Something was in the air that night. I've only kissed two men full on on the lips.

One was you, the other was Mr. Ryan Reynolds. We did a piece where we did a parody of a notebook. A really good track record. And yes, I am killing it with the fellas. And you, how do we compare? Well, okay, I'll say this. My soul left my body. It was an incredible experience to kiss you.

You came around to my desk and you grabbed my head and it was a powerful kiss, passionate. Yeah, well, I think I wanted to demonstrate the authenticity of my feelings. And this, I think I was the police. Yeah. This is what something had happened between Ian McCullough and myself, which included a kiss on the lips.

And I think you brought that up and something about, you know, nobody has ever kissed you like that. Man, here we go. Here we go. No, it was so fantastic. I just put it out there, not thinking this is where we'd go. And suddenly this man was up on his feet. He came around, he's swept me off my feet.

Powerful kiss. It's taking everything in my power, not to say I've never been kissed like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't go near him. I'm putting up a salad guard between the two of you. You got in, you're physicality changed like dude. I'm gonna do it.

Oh my God. It's so exciting. Patrick, she was like a cobra rising up looking at you. Do I? Do I not? But I have to say the one difference with Ryan Reynolds is he has a technique, I guess, we're kissing and it was a longer kiss. Yes.

And you can look at it on video. It's the parody of the notebook. He reaches over and he started fondling my ear. And I thought, I just got a weird peek into Blake Liveley's life at this moment. It's very strange. Anyway, welcome thrilled to have you here. You're a consummate actor.

You've got, I believe, the greatest voice in the world. You've accomplished so much in your life, and you've also written this book, Man, you have lived a life. I will say that. You have lived an incredible life, and you've written about it beautifully in this book which tells your story,

and there's so much in here that I didn't know. Starting with your childhood, you're such a good actor. You've gone through this transformation that I would never in a million years believe that you came from the North, very little means. I don't know how else to say it. What you would call, I think you could refer to it in your book as sort of the rust belt of England. What's this area? What's it called? Well, it was the West writing of Yorkshire, a kind of division of Yorkshire, it's such a big county. It's the Texas of the UK. And that it was divided into

North Yorkshire, West Yorkshire, and East Yorkshire. And then Margaret Sachshire came along, and she created South Yorkshire. I think she was actually made queen of South York, or not quite so. But it's well done as an industrial center, Sheffield, of course, which was only a few miles away from where I grew up, was the steel center of England, probably of Europe at the time. You cannot judge a book by its cover, but I would have thought, well, you know, Syrpatrix, they were posh upbringing, posh education, silver spoon in his mouth. Those are the assumptions that I would have made, and you just have to learn this lesson again and again

in a Ganyour life. You had in a lot of ways a Victorian childhood. Because that's what my wife has named it. My wife is an American from Nevada. She will say, oh, he might as well been living in the 19th century. Right. It's like Dickensian.

Yeah. It was Dickensian. Yeah. And I mean, you talk about, first of all, no money, toilet outside that you share with neighbors. Not quite. The building had four toilets in it. Right, but each family had their own toilet. Now, it was just a toilet. That was all. And there was no lighting, no heating, no running water,

except to flush the toilet. Because we lived in what was called in our neighborhood of one up one down. There was one room downstairs, you stepped in off the pavement sidewalk and you were in the living room of the house and there wasn't anything else. There was a cellar downstairs and you wind up says and there was one room up says, so one up one down. And it was very, very basic. mean, the toilet aspect of it just being one of them. And it wasn't really until I went to second-remondment school because I was not academic. You're whispering, but there's still a very powerful microphone. You're whispering, you're not talking, David. No one must know.

So we had no shower, we had no bath. What happened on a Friday evening was that my brother, and my brother was five years older than me. I had another brother, but he was 17 years old. And he was gone. We would carry this zinc bath up from the cellar. I mean, these were, I father told us to do this. It was our job on a Friday evening,

and we would have a big boiler that stood in the middle of the floor, a gas boiler, and that would boil the water for the bath. Then we would ladle the water out of the gas boiler into the bath, and the first person to take the bath from my father, because Friday night was the beginning of the weekend, which was often not a good thing in my house. And then there was a whole complicated evening in which my elder brother would bathe in the same water that my father would use while the water was heating up again. Then he would empty that and, of course, he was made to do that, then he could leave for a Friday night himself, even though he was only, you know, 10 or 11. Then we paled the war, actually no,

we didn't. We had a rubber tube and we put the end of the rubber tube in the bar. And I was suckered, which always meant that you had never done that. This is getting worse and worse and worse. Do you want to change the subject? No, go ahead. I could go downhill or I could go downhill. Down, please, you're on the downhill podcast now. This podcast, original name was the downhill.

So you would suck and suck and suck. Is that what we're talking about here? Yeah. But I mean, it's just, you know, you talk about people lighting the gas lanterns outside, you know, the street, people on the street. And, um, Victoria. And of course, your father was away in the war and then came back and you said that was not a good thing because he was short tempered.

There were a lot of issues with your dad. Yeah, but nowadays he would have been diagnosed instantly as having serious PTSD. He was involved in the fighting all over Europe. I mean, in France, in Italy, he was in Cyprus, and he was a power-shootist as well. Oh my God. So I never saw him for the first five years of my life. I was born in 1940. The war had already started. He had already joined up. And later he was in ordinary soldier with the King's own Yorkshire light infantry, coilies they were known as. And he ended up as regimental sergeant major of the parachute regiments. And I mean, the highest rank you can get to as a non-commissioned officer. And he was brilliant at that job.

One favorite remark I ever heard about that was soon after he died, a neighbor who I knew had served with him in the army, said, he saw me in a pub and he said, let me buy you a drink because I want to toast your dad in this. He said, he was an extraordinary man. He said, you know, when your dad walked onto a parade ground, the birds in the trees stopped singing. Wow. I mean, it still gives me goosebumps. Yeah, and it's so true that I've talked to, I think my wife's father was similar. I mean, he is of a similar advantage, my father-in-law,

and when he was born, his father was off fighting in the war. And then he remembers being five years old, and this guy shows up. And it's a guy who's been on a destroyer for four being five years old. And this guy shows up. And it's a guy who's been on a destroyer for four or five years fighting the war, not in any cuddly mood. You know, it's just a very, it's a, I think it was a very common occurrence.

I think it was, and I think for many people, many men, and some women, the war came as a release. You know, they'd, my father traveled. Actually, he'd spent most of the 20s in India. The moment that his girlfriend was determined that she was pregnant, that she was having his child, he instantly joined the army. And didn't marry her. I almost did that when my wife told me she was pregnant.

No, but I was in my 40s and I was like, I'm joining the army. And she said, there's no war and you're too old, but I just wanted out. They wouldn't have me. I failed the physical, so I didn't work out. But you were having a child, nevertheless. Very suspicious about that child. Seems Italian to me, but anyway. I'm moving on. He was born with a mustache.

Now, before we move on from my father, which I know we must, when his demobilization, then I called him mobbed, he was called by his colonel, his commanding officer, into his office to see him. And my father was a couple of weeks away from leaving the Army and the Colonel asked him what his plans were and he said, Well, I'm going home and I got a job and the man then told him about connection that he had At the Dorchester Hotel where you've probably stayed. I've met at the Dorchester ship in Park Lane Yeah, one of the top five or six hotels Historically as well as present day and he said They need a dormant an assistant dormant and that job is available and you can have it as soon as you get out of the arm in a couple of weeks time

Um, there is an apartment or a flat as we would have called it. I'm you know bilingual now Sure. Yes and we would have called it, I'm bilingual now. Sure, yes. And you will have a flat to live in. And your wife, if she feels like it, we could give her a job as well. She could work in the hotel and you would live there with your children. And my father was very pleased about Sounded and it would have been perfect for him. But my mother refused to leave her hometown, which she had never left ever before. She lived in this small little community in the West Riding of Yorkshire and said, no,

I will not go to London. I will not. Now I often thought, my father could have said, that's fine. You stay here, I will go to London and I will send you money through the post and you can come down and stay, but he didn't, he stayed. And that was the beginning of the end for much of his life as he was concerned. He was a weekend alcoholic. Monday through Friday, nothing rigid about that. And of course, the first five years of my life were bliss. My mother and I had a cot next to her bed. And when the side was let down, I could roll out of the cot straight into her bed, which

I did often. And we would cuddle all night long and then 1945. Yeah, it's very edipull. It's like, suddenly, who's this guy? That's very primal stuff. You talk about how when you grow up in this situation, you often don't have people with the zoom. Well, a young Sir Patrick Stewart would have big dreams. You didn't initially. You thought, oh,

I guess I'll be a lorry driver, a truck driver. Yep. Because you think, you look at your world and you think, this is what's possible. And then what changed? What happened was a man called Cecil Dorman. He was my English teacher in my secondary modern school because I was totally not academic. In fact, I was never tested, but I went into secondary modern school and in my second year the English master, Cecil Dorman. Clearly, I did something, read something in a class and I saw him pay attention and he was the first person to put a copy of Shakespeare into my hand. I never held a copy of Shakespeare in my hand and it was just a surprise one day in the English class. And he was handing out these books, slim little books, and said,

all right, this is, find, act four, scene one. And okay, you're playing Borscher, you're playing Bessani, you're playing Orlando, and Patrick, finally, your Shylock. Wow. And we read this scene, and my character't speak for a half a page or so and then he had a speech of about 40 lines which is one of the most famous speeches in Shakespeare. And I had no idea what I was saying. I was trying to say the words, the most of them I didn't understand. And yet something happened. I made a connection. I loved pronouncing

these words. I was never, I'd never spoken a language like that out loud. I mean, I hadn't even spoken English when I was a child. I spoke not just with an accent. I spoke dialect and so to what an instance. Yeah, I do. This is my favorite. If I go to a neighbor's house to ask if the lad, my age, is coming out, you know, for kick a ball around everything, when he came to the door, I would say to him, Attalékinat. What?

What? Attalékinat. Attalékinat. Atta, art thou, because when I was growing up we said the endou. Not because we were religious at all, but it was just the way, you know, working class, Westwriting people spoke. Atta-art-thou, Lakin. Now this is the amazing thing.

In Shakespeare's day, actors were also known as Lakers. And the word I was using was playing. Lakers stood in for playing. Atta, are you Lakin playing at out? That's a Lakin app. And you didn't know the derivation of any of this. You just know that's what it is. You just say, you don't know what any of this is coming from.

Oh, yeah. Nothing at all. But the moment came when a second teacher who's the book is dedicated to these two people, Cecil Dormond and Ruth Wyn Owen, who was a retired professional actress, now living with husband in Yorkshire and teaching. And she said to me one day, you know Patrick, if you really are enthusiastic about performing, you've got to lose that accent. And so I started the next day right away. And for several years, I spoke with one accent at weekends when I was going to my drama classes and one accident Monday to Friday when I was in school. drama classes, and one accident Monday to Friday, when I was in school, because if I talk like that in the classroom, whew, yeah, yeah.

We've got some, you know. No, the other kids don't take kindly to that. Ah, gentlemen, end kind women. Who the fuck does the thing know us? Sorry, don't, don't, don't. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I believe it's time for my jelly and peanut butter. You say that you remember, this is a quote word for word, the one comment about me in a newspaper review of the first amateur production I ever appeared in.

And it said quote, as hopcroft minor, Patrick Stewart was barely adequate. And you said you remember that line for line, despite the fact that you were getting a lot of positive affirmations left and right, that's still, and my God, do I know what you're talking about? Yeah, it is interesting to me that it is memories like that that stick and there's no possibility of them ever being removed, barely adequate. Right. And the one thing I remember that worried me most

about that was that my father might see it and it would disappoint him. I think. You know, we had Harrison Ford on this podcast very recently and both of you have known a kind of success that 1% of 1% of 1% of actors will ever know. But he went on a great length. He knew the name of the man who turned him down in 1968 and told him he didn't have what it takes. And he repeated his name, I think 15 times. Jerry to Cops, Jerry to Cops. We all remember it. We all remember it.

And you're thinking, how much there is no amount of success that you can ladle on a serpatic Stuart or a Harrison Ford. There is no amount that can take that away. And this is just the blessing in the curse. I'm so glad that you've told me that about Harrison. I've been a huge fan, but I've always been aware in his work that there is some kind of internal softness, a gentleness that occasionally just bleeds out

into what he does and he's letting it out. Oh, by the way, we have the same birthday. Was that true? Yeah, 13th of July. I am one year older than him. But does he show respect? No. Does he bow before you know? That's my mom's birthday. Really? Well, that's great actors. Really? Yeah. Because she acts like she's happy to see me every time she comes by.

13th of July. 13th of July, yeah. That's extraordinary. Well, we're really excited that he told you that. We're wonderful people. You are. You talk about, and this is a fascinating part, and when you're a teenager, this would be traumatic for a lot of people. you start going bald as a teenager

You're completely bald. You sit almost by the age 19 20 21 somewhere around there And you just decided I'm gonna make this work for me because you realized Wigs I can wear any wig in the world now because I am an actor and I play different parts Nevertheless wasn't easy as it'll in my late teens to find that I was losing my hair and I play different parts. Nevertheless, wasn't easy in my late teens to find that I was losing my hair and I lost it so quickly. And I come from a family of bald men. My brothers, my father, my grandfather.

I actually know, freedom had hair, a lot of hair. His name was Freedom Barraclough. And that's Victorian, if ever, that was a lot of hair. That's fantastic. It is, yes. But one of the things I very quickly realized because I'm quite interested in economics Brent Spiner calls it my poverty mentality

He said you were poor when you were little and you've never ever got past that point part of you is still stuck in the poverty region. And I think that he was right. So loosing my hair felt like a failure. And also, I'm dating. Who wants to go out with an 18-year-old who's just got a few presser. And I used to do all this coming it over, you know. And then one day, a director I was working with who was very, very conscious of costs said to me, oh no, no, no, you're two actors for the price of one. Oh my God. Oh my God.

These are... Oh, okay. That's right. With wigs, we can get three rolls out of you. Ah, that's fantastic. Exactly. And I've had some sensational wigs in my lifetime. Really?

Because, you know, they say the wig maker says, you were born to wear wigs, you know. Maybe it's not the biggest compliment. You were born to wear wigs, you know, maybe it's not the biggest compliment. You were born to wear a mask. What? Right, right, right. So you, so you, you're moving up in the world, you're making your way, you move to London. And there's a part in the book because you had led this very sheltered life in mere field. And you'd been taught all these stereotypes

and one of the stereotypes you'd been taught was don't trust the Irish. You move into a flat and there's some Irishmen in that. No, it was a lodging house. Lodging house, okay. First of all, I still believe don't trust the Irish. Yeah, solid advice. And I'm 100%.

So you come to this wonderful revelation that, that no that's wrong. These are wonderful people I think whoever told you don't trust the Irish was spot on but we'll let that go for now I'm glad you had a good experience with them. I had a wonderful experience. They were all young men They'd mostly come from the west coast of Ireland, and because they needed work. At that time in the late 40s, there was a job shortage, significant one, and people were dying because they couldn't feed themselves. And all these young guys had come over to London

to get work, and they were all working on building sites. There were laborers. Nobody was a skilled constructor. There were laborers. Nobody was a skilled constructor. There were laborers. And they welcomed me into the... I shared a bedroom with one. Over the first night when we had dinner, one of them... He introduced me to everyone. They were all Irish. And he said, listen, when we dinner's over, we go out because there's a pub around the corner that's very Irish-friendly. And he said, your name is Patrick. I mean, it couldn't be better.

We can introduce you to anyone. But on this leprechaun wig. Yeah, that's right. You had this experience that I mean I think is absolutely mind blowing. You were in a production in London with the great Vivian Lee. You became friendly with her and at one point they are showing gum with the win. It was a re-release. A new release, you know, that had been smot smartened up and tied it up and given new technology and

Because you're friendly She invites you to attend with her and she you sit next to Vivian Lee you sit next to Scarlett, oh, Harrah as you watch Gone with the wind well, but and by the way just to get the the seating with the wind. Well, and by the way, just to get the seating layout proper, I was on her left side, on her right side was her boyfriend, who was a leading actor in the company we were working for, which was the London Old Vic company onto her. We were only on tour, we didn't ever play in London. And I mean, first of all, this invitation was wonderful. The reason being that I was the humblest member of the company. I had been a last minute inclusion.

Two days before rehearsal began, I got this offer. And the working hands-on producer was a very unpleasant individual. And he found, he chose me as his one to go for. And he did once say in front of the whole company, Patrick, we're doing this in, in, in, in, in order of billing and you're at the bottom. So sit down. I mean, you know, you wouldn't get away with that today. I tried. No, you can't.

Yeah, is that quiet you? He called me barely adequate the other day. Yeah, what was in a review? Well called me barely adequate the other day. Really? Yeah, what was in a review? Well, you know, the London Times. Look what I'm to me. Oh, yeah. You're going places.

Could be a testimonial. Oh, my God, you finally giving me something to live for. So, you're at this production? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry. We're sitting side by side, and I am so excited and thrilled and proud to be sitting alongside it. By the way, in a dinner jacket, because we've been told, by the way, when you go on this

tour, you must have dinner jackets. There'll be a lot of formal parties. Dinner jackets. I never wanted dinner jackets. And I went, look, I couldn't possibly afford one. They were so expensive. But on Charn Cross Road, there was a used garment, men's used garment shop. And I went in and there was this Tuxedo. And I don't know what it was made of, but it looked like a blanket. It was huge. I think it was a blanket.

I think you got conned there. Let's like it. Yeah. I was sitting on one side of her. And her gorgeous boyfriend was sitting on the other side of her, wearing a fabulous, expensive suit. And I saw that she was touching her face quite often. And then finally, she turned to me and she took my hand and she said, Patrick, I'm going

to have to leave. This is so upsetting. You see, so many of these lovely people I worked with are dead and it's upsetting me so much. So thanks for sharing this. I hope you enjoyed the night. And she got up and she and John walked out and I was so touched. She could have just left. She didn't have to say thank you for coming.

And it's very good of you. And explain to me why she was crying. She was a superstar of God, yeah. Of her day, there was no actress today that's ever been bigger than Vivian was, and two Academy Awards, I think, as well. It wasn't just that she was fabulous looking, or that she was a very, very nice person, but she had a temper. I saw her once. There was a wonderful actress who I cannot name, but she is dead too, who was playing a character in the event.

She had a leading role, very important roles. And during the curtain call one night, she was on one side of Vivian and John was on the other side. I was at the back on the other row. And this other actress leaned forward. I heard her say something to the other person who was leaning forward with her. I didn't hear what it said,

but as she was standing up, Vivian, who had just been presented with a bouquet of flowers, lifted it up and hit her across the face with a bouquet of flowers. For speaking. Yes. Ha ha ha ha ha. But apparently she had said something that Vivian didn't like.

Didn't like. And she erupted. Then later on, we learned that she had illnesses and they were very problematic. And indeed, I think eight years later, she died of this. I believe she might have had tuberculosis or something like that. I think it was a lung issue. Yeah, and she also had what do they call that thing that goes up and down? You know what? I don't know. We're talking about the whole. Oh, you're talking about mental illness. Yes. Yes. Yes.

The bipolar disease. Bipolar. Yes. Yes. Yes. Which never showed in her work. Anyway, it was a great privilege to have known her and she was so kind. And I celebrated my 21st, but first birthday through a party and she came to it. Oh my God. None of the other producers did, but Vivian came. And she gave me a golden cotton anchorchief, which she had sprinkled with the perfume that she always wore.

She only wore one perfume, which was called Joy by Patu and it was wonderful and for years I could breathe Vivian in from the handkerchief that she given me and then I moved and went different places and about two years ago I found him. Yes, oh good I was going to say if this thing was missing I'm walking out now. No. Smell was gone, but the memory is we're still in place. We could get some jup. Yes. It's, you know, I want to talk about it's a colon that men wear. I've wore it once. The dream was to be in the Royal Shakespeare Company and you made it happen, which to this day company and you made it happen, which to this day of all of your accomplishments, it might be hard to top that, being in the Royal Shakespeare Company.

From the moment that Cecil Dormann had put merchant of Venice into my hand at the age of 12, right up to the age of 24, 25, by which time I'd done five or six years in repertoire theatre, first weekly, then two weekly. I mean, we played for a week, so we put on the new show every Monday night, then fortnight, then three weeks, and then finally, a brisloevic monthly rap. And it was, this was a plan, it wasn't accidental. I was aiming to go up each year if I could, because my objective was the roll shakes were coming. And they had been to see other actors when I was in Bristol,

and one of them who was leftist may he rest in peace, Charlie Thomas, who was only an assistant stage manager and playing little parts, they cast him through all shakes they come to they want to them and they're Cosmos. Why not me? You know why am why not me? Why not me? I need this role in language. He's mine all by and I tell you. Come out of it come out of it. I am a character actor. I mean, people are not aware of this. Jolo Picard was a character. Sure. Charles Xavier. Oh, man. There you go. No, I'm a character. Yeah, especially in Logan. What makes? Well,, I was saying, it's fascinating to me that the objective was always a Royal Shakespeare company. Yes.

And you were not, you were not interested. You had no ambitions in television. You didn't have ambition in film. And then, you know, you're, you're doing quite well. You've achieved your dream. And then at the age of, I believe 45, 46, this possibility of this Star Trek show, because you bring up Jean-Luc Picard, this comes along and what I always found fascinating

and you verify in the book is you approached this as a Shakespearean role. You took it, which I think is brilliant. You said, this is a television show, and this is a part of a generation of, you know, there's another Star Trek. I'm going to approach this as if it's Lear or Hamlet. That's the seriousness with which I'm going to take this. It certainly served you well.

It did, but it also made me comfortable because I was familiar with that. However, when I came to review the first season of next generation, I wasn't altogether happy with the work I had done. I thought it was too internal, too restrained, too solitary, too unconnected with the others. So I resolved that from the start of the second season, I would begin to open him up and let him out. And that continued for seven years. Seven years. And four movies, and then three seasons of Picard,

which only wrapped about 15 months ago. It feels like you started to let yourself have more fun. Is that what it is? Well, one of my favorite moments in the book is telling this because I haven't told it to many people that Halfway through the first season of next generation and we were a wonderful group of Actors I fell for Jonathan and Brent and Marina and Gates and all of them, very soon and Levar and Michael, I mustn't leave anybody out, that's it. That's all lot. And whoopi when she joined.

And one day I called a meeting because I thought I'm captain of the Enterprise, but because I'd led companies in the theatre, I felt this should be my role here. I'm a leader, not just of Star Trek, of Starfleet, but of this band of people who were working these endless days, 12, 14, sometimes 16 hour days to get all this done. And so I call this meeting and I said, all right, listen, what it seems to me you don't people don't understand is that there are two sets of work going on here. There's the work we do and the time off that we get occasionally, you know, a day along weekend. And then there's the rest of the crew and people in the office who are here every single day and working brutal hours. We have got to make their

lives easier and the problem is we are having too much fun. That was the phrase that has still not left me today. I mean, I heard Jonathan Freak say it to me. Yeah, I'm sorry, we're having too much fun. But you got over it. That was your instinct and you got over it. Yes, yes, because it was limiting, restricting. And the older I guess, as I hope in part this conversation is illustrated I get Lucer and I

Attach things that are inside myself to my outside life the first time that you came on the program I remember that I not met you and I just know you by this man this man Royal Shakespeare company and so accomplished and who am I to talk to him, and you were funny and delightful and self-deprecating and silly. And I think that was a real gift. That was a real gift to see that if someone who's accomplished all this can let go a little bit, that's a great gift to give to people. Thank you. It benefits me in my life and things occasionally have been said to me that have stuck and had an impact. My first ever day in front, which is in the book, on in front of a camera, a film

camera was in a film called Hennessy, which starred Rod Steiger. And I had half a day's work, which was me and Rod Steiger in the back of a car. And I pulled a girl on them. And it was just one scene because it didn't end up, I pull it for me. I mean, the character. And it's a long anecdote this. I'm not going to even start it from the beginning. But when Rod learned that this was my first day on a film set, he said, oh, well, what are you doing for lunch? And I, no, no, she said, what are you doing for lunch? And I said, oh, I don't know.

I mean, what do you do? Do you find a cafe? He said, no, no, no. All of a day, there's a counter and a bar, and you can get what you want there, and bring it to my trailer. And I said, you sure? Yeah, bring it.

So I did. And we had lunch sitting in his trailer. He was one of my heroes. Yes, you might think it should have been Marlon Brando. And it was. Was it from On the Waterfront? Yes. Yeah. And the porn broker, which is what Rod won an Academy Award for. But that scene with him and Brando in the back of the car in which Rod pulled a gun on Brando and Brando goes, oh, I just moved it aside. Fuck.

Ghostbumps, ghostbumps. And anyway, one of the things he said to me during this lunch was just as we were about to leave, he said one thing, was for memory, the camera of photographs, thoughts. And that was all. And I have never forgotten that. So you think it in the camera will say, and I watch other actors who I admire immensely and the work that they do. And I see it on them. Somebody might say, that face hasn't moved. No, but look at the eyes. It's full of thoughts. And you know, you're you're involved. And it's so funny. You say that because I just watched

the other day, I hadn't seen it all the way through for years. The Steve McQueen movie, Bullet 1968. And I watched it. And what stuns me is McQueen barely moves his face in the whole movie and it's riveting. A lot of it is people yelling at him. They're angry with him. You know, this isn't you. Even I like the way you're running this investigation.

What are you doing? And it's him and his eyes slightly moving side to side and you see the wheels turning. And he's got all this coiled energy that he's not spending and it's fantastic. If you're not under the pressure that you've got to be doing something, you know, I often feel with some young actors,

I think, you know, just do a lot, do less, but think the camera sees it all and it's magical. But of course those guys, Brando, Stiger, Lee J. Cobb, Eva Marie Saint, all of whom, by the way, I have met except for Brando. I had an invitation from somebody who was very close to him to go up to his house up on top of the Hollywood hills, and a point when we were set, and I pulled out. Someone that said to me, he's very difficult, and all I had was this memory of this brilliant, believable, real actor. And I didn't want it to be changed. I want him to remain as he was when he moved, rolls, gone aside, and just saw the sadness in his face. It's a great job. If you're lucky and you get the work to do, and of course, right now, there is no work.

Well, that's why you wrote this book. And of course, right now there is no work. Well, that's why you wrote this book. Exactly. You know, COVID and you wrote this book and the book is great. And there's so many great revelations in this book. I love reading about how you heard that Frank Sinatra was a fan of Star Trek. And I just imagine Frank Sinatra is a shudder get out of here. I gotta watch punching somebody and they're saying,

shut up! Star Trek's on, next generation. I just love that, I love that. And I just, I love that, in my favorite people have careers that define categorization. And I think that's, you fit that beautifully because it's, there's so many different phases,

you've done so many different phases, you've done so many different things, you've put on so many different hats, slash wigs, and then you write this book, which is beautiful, and ultimate, ultimate respect. Really, this is quite an achievement, and I love that you are still, you're still in it, you're still, you're still interested

in trying something new, you know, you're still interested in what's next, you know, you're still interested in what's next. And I think that's next, what's different. Yeah. Something new, please. Yeah. Yeah. I guess I get offered, you know, jobs in space.

It's really stuck in that. I'm trying to say no. It's kingar in space. Yeah. That's not a bad idea. It's my idea. Listen, I'm going to set you up in appointment. You call Gavin Pallone.

He'll take care of you. I get 80%. You get 20. Trust me, we can work on the numbers, but it's 80, 20, and it doesn't change. Thank you Conan generous gentleness Hey, I cannot thank you enough for taking time for us

You're a huge deal and this is this is a big deal for us. So making it so a memoir Patrick Stewart And if you don't buy this book, you're a fool. You're a fool not you. I'm not looking at you But you are not a fool sir. You are far from a fool you are a fool. You're a fool. Not you. I'm not looking at you. But you are not a fool, sir. You are far from the fool. You are a fool. Yes. Yes. I play touch-done once. I play touch-done. You did? Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. The fool's. It's a good role. Yeah. And he's not just a funny. He's kind of tragic as well, you know, which all the really funny ones are oh Did I ruin a moment? You're in the whole thing. Did I make it about myself? Let's go again from the top Sir Patrick Stewart onward and And break a leg in all your endeavors. Thank you, sir. Thank you so thank you very much.

I like to support the people around me. Why is that the biggest laugh in a while? I do. I like to lift and elevate those around me. I'm out my water. My punch down and bury. My only joy, my only real joy is watching those around me thrive. By the way, I'm hostage right now. I'm being held at gunpoint and being forced to leave. No, I do.

I'm happy. But then there are limits. There are limits. And Matt Gourley, a very talented fellow, you know works on this podcast You add so much to the chitter chatter But then behind the scenes you're constantly making all these great edits and audio choices and you're putting it all together and Getting it out to the people of the world. So I do commend you for that but then you have these other projects and I'm trying to think of the world. So I do command you for that. But then you have these other projects.

And I'm trying to think of the way to put this. It in ranges. That you would ever divert your eye from this. I mean, this is a golden egg. This is a lightning in a bottle. What we have here. And yet every time I turn around, you say, well, I got to get going now. I'm going to go work on gloop-dilly-glop. And I'm like, what's that? And you're like, oh, it's one of my 700 other podcasts that I do. You have one called Mall Walking, is that right? Yeah, that's a culturally significant and important podcast, or my friend Mark and I,

just to record ourselves walking through America's malls. And you've been manhandled during those recordings, haven't you? Yeah, so I'm gonna join this once and we got kicked out. Yeah, like, you make it sound join us once and we got kicked out. You make it sound like we got kicked out because of me. No, you were...

What did you shoplift? Just curious. How dare you? What did you? Well, one time when we turned it in... How dare you have you shoplifted in the past? No, we did preparations. Yeah, we went to the store that I did shoplift from, and then I apologize.

Oh, good. All right. And we bought something from the store to a tone. Yeah. That's nice. Well, you met that. Yeah. So, so you have these other, and you have a lot of other projects as well.

It's true, and I look at those as moon lighting. This is my day job. This is, you know, I take this seriously. You do. I mean, I just worry that... Even though they existed before this podcast, but still I know, but come on Okay, yes, but you know, you're a guy that's been mucking around Making little sculptures and then you got a chance to work on I mean, this is the Parthenon it sits upon

You know, this is a massive structure that sits high Mesa in Hill in Athens and people look at it and marvel at its beauty. Corporate entity that's rotting America from within that's a good example of apt analogy. Yeah, you say tomato, I say tomato. Okay. But the important thing is that you do have these other podcasts and even I have to admit,

someone with a Grinch shriveled heart like me, I have to admit that you do have these other ideas that sound cool. And you have these other projects that sound like they're kind of interesting. And you've got this new one that I heard about Adam mentioned it to me in the hall today, and I said, wait a minute, that sounds like a really good idea. I'd listen to that, and I wanted to bring it up on the air. That's very nice of you. I mean, I will say that my podcasts are stupid. This one is legit.

Oh, this is area diet. It is. I'll tell you why because my wife and I are doing it together and she adds a level of respectability that I cannot bring. Well, okay, let's talk about this because the project that you're working on is called Keys to the Kingdom and what's interesting is it's about the experience of working at a theme park. And first of all, that's how you met your wife. That's right. We're both recovering theme park employees. She was a former princess. She played a bunch of princesses. I was just kind of a actor performer improv person there. And we met at Universal Studios that we both worked at Disney together. And through the years, we were beset through crazy stories of shit that goes on there that you wouldn't believe in.

This whole podcast is like a eight episode docuseries of people telling stories about when they worked there. You guys are the hosts and then you're talking to a bunch of people you know who are coming forward and just telling you the funny crazy things that happen to them while they were working in theme parks. Yeah and some people we don't know And some people actually that are going under assumed names and having their voices changed because they're either worried about job security or past job security. They might not even work there and they still don't want to upset certain theme parks.

It's kind of a tongue in cheek watergate expoze. Oh, you know what I mean? I thought the original watergate expoze was kind of tongue in cheek. We're treating it like we're busting the lid off something. In fact, we're just having a good time with some stories that are really ridiculous. Some stories that are kind of spooky. And then Sonia was a guest as well, and she tells her story of getting busted by the Disney police, trying to smuggle in a edible store park.

Yeah, I did. Yeah, and also you don't even need to tell me what it was because you could guess what Sonia got in trouble for. It usually revolves around a certain theme, but keys to the kingdom and how do people listen to keys to the kingdom? It's anywhere you can find podcasts. It's out now, you can subscribe on any podcast player.

There's also eight behind the scenes bonus episodes with extra material that you can get in the show notes of the podcast. Like I said, I would listen to this because as someone who, every time I go to a theme park, my mind is racing wondering what's really going on here. It's crazy. And there's no way to find out

because you can't just ask people, but it sounds like you've blown the lid off this story. It's a crazy, creepy cult, and I'm happy to be out of it. But also, I'll respect these major companies. Oh God and I look forward to doing business with you in the future because I didn't just say that well anyway Look out for it keys to the kingdom. I'm excited for you. Thank you. This is very nice of you to do too

Well, this will never air. Okay. I'll just make sure that even being recorded Yeah, no, no, no make sure this never ever airs I just want points for doing it and then just make sure it never really happens. Okay. I'll just make sure. See you later being recorded. Yeah. No, no, no. Make sure this never, ever airs. I just want points for doing it and then just make sure it never really happens. Okay. Cool. That's the Conan Foramila. Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonom of Sessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Nick Liao, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf. Themes song by The White Stripes, incidental music by Jimmy Vino, Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our Associate Talent Producer is Jennifer

Samples, engineering by Eduardo Perez, additional production support by Mars Melnick, talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Khan. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the team Coco Hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien, Needs a Friend, where ever fine podcasts are downloaded.