Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Summer S’mores with Conan and the Chill Chums Season 2 Episode 6

Episode Date: July 14, 2022

Conan, Sona and Matt plan out their next grand outing on the final Summer S’mores special of the season.

Summer S'mores with Conan and the Chill Chumps, a six-part series with Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Gorley. Let's get started. Well, we've come to the end of the road. Well, that seems very ominous. Yeah. Our lives will continue.

No, we're all dying today. Oh, good God. This is it? Yeah. Aw, man, I don't want to be here. Yeah, actually, this is the place I'd like to be. It'll make me treasure my life less as I leave it. No, this is the final installment of Chill Chumps

for this incarnation. Right. And I have to say, we're back in studio now. We started in studio week one, and then we departed, and we went to the wilds of Pasadena suburbs at night. And we were in your backyard, and it was a transformative experience. Really?

How so? Transformative. Well, for the two of you, because you got drunk. Yeah. Yeah, we did. You both got, did you feel yourself getting a little loopy? Here's the problem. I'm normally a lightweight, so I would normally say yes,

but I've had so much to drink since my daughter was born that I just, it's just like water to me now. That's heartwarming. I mean, worryingly so. I'm asking for help. Oh, good. That's good. Can I tell you, since your daughter was born,

what's your routine? Do you have a drink every night? No, no longer, but the first three months, I'm embarrassed to say I would have a cocktail or three a night. You need to unwind. It was like, I've never been like that, never before have I been like that,

and I love her, and this is a great experience. Did your wife say anything to you at one point? She was born him. Jesus. So you didn't get the, I think you gotta cut back a little bit. No, she was like, she's not the type. Well, a lot of listeners have commented

that throughout the course of Chilled Chums in the Wild in Pasadena, we were enjoying that lovely cocktail you made. Yeah, the Chilled Chum. And what's in the Chilled Chum? Well, that's another thing is people have been asking. The internet, the blog is fear. It's just been, it's just a little bit of a thing. I have to say, I showed a lot of restraint.

I sipped mine very slowly. I didn't have too much because I could tell that it was lethal, but it's delicious. It is, I will say this, it's fantastic. It's a great drink. Thank you. Here's what it is. One and a half ounce of Maker's Mark bourbon.

One ounce of palm pomegranate juice, half ounce of lemon juice, Bundaberg ginger beer to taste as much as you want, a splash a little bit more, but the ginger's an ode to you. Hey. That's nice. And then muddled strawberries for the chum

of the Chilled Chum. And that's for one cocktail. So you can double or triple or triple. And as I say, muddled for your muddled mind. And muddled. That's exactly right. Logical. Chum can mind.

Yeah. That's what I thought the connection was. Chum. So you put the lemon juice, the palm of granite juice and the bourbon in a shaker with ice, pour it over rocks, add as much ginger beer as you like, and muddled strawberries. Chill it up.

Now, let's get to the more interesting thing. It's nice that you have now broadcast the recipe so that people can make this for themselves. Because it was extraordinarily a tasty drink. But let's talk about, when did you know, Sona, that you were going off the rails a bit? I think when everything just seemed, not that it's not funny usually,

but when everything was funny. And then I was like, I remember this feeling. I used to do this a lot. Your foot was in the fire at one point. And you thought that was funny. I remember that. You were giggling because you saw the skin burning off and then you saw bone exposed and you thought that was funny.

Yeah, I had my foot amputated. I had a video, and I'll post it, of you leaning forward holding your glass with two careful hands and just like sipping it with this sweetest grin on your face. Yes. You were gollum with the ring. Yeah, I was, I was.

I had so much fun. Matt, thanks for hosting us. That was just such delight. And you know what, I haven't, I'm a lightweight now because I don't drink, but I take my edibles. Mostly that's my release. That's a responsible message. Yeah.

I've cut back on the drinking and replaced them with edibles. Edibles, kids. Yeah, edibles. Get them at your local dispensary. Yeah, it's legal. Sure. It's okay.

Yeah. California. Oh yeah. No, there is judgment. No judgment at all. You're judging. There's no judge, Reinhold. Just think it easy.

Do you hear the judgment? I hear judge, Reinhold. No, no, there's no judgment. That's just in your minds. Now he's gaslighting. Yeah, now he's like pretending that. He's the gaslighting judge. I had a very nice time.

I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. Oh. Just because I, no offense, but it's hanging out with you and your house. Oh. That was not an advertisement for good times. Right.

No, seriously, I thought you were gonna, I just didn't know what was gonna happen. And we really had a good time. It was a nice time. You were a wonderful, wonderful host. And Amanda too. Amanda. I had very little to do with that.

Amanda, Sarah making the goods, the great crew setting everything up. I would not thank the crew. They get paid. I'm surprised you had fun. I'm sorry, but they get, you know what I mean? I'm sick of this whole thing where we thank the crew. That's just bullshit.

I did do everything. You know, checks were cashed, you know? Eduardo, why should I thank you for anything? You're making good money here. Yeah, fuck you, Eduardo. Yeah, what she said. Yeah. I agree.

You can turn off his mic if you want to. Eduardo, did you have a good time? I had a great time. Well, you did a lovely job and my hat's off to you. Thank you. I don't mean it, because you got a check. I cast a check already. Yeah.

I canceled the check. You can have one. You can have my praise or the check. Which do you want? Take the check. Take the check. The check. Damn it.

Who would ever choose your praise instead? Because you can't even praise it. No, it's praise. Your praise is followed by a shit fest. You can't praise. I love the idea of... I have a strict rule. I will pay you or I will praise you,

but the praise is also a form of payment, so you get one or the other. I would love a maniac just trying to instill that at work. It'd just be so funny to me. Praise or pay? Well, I have kids in need. I guess it's pay then, huh? Yeah.

My daughter's in a private school. Then it's pay, is it? And fuck you, do your job. No praise from me. You're angry that they want to get paid. Eduardo, weren't you impressed with Goorley's home? It's really nice. Beautiful, immaculate outdoor vibe

and the drinks were delicious. Eduardo, did you have any feeling at all? Be honest, because I know I did. Any feeling at all of why does he get to have such a nice home and such a nice yard? What? Just, you know what I mean? He's a good guy and everything,

but it's really spectacular. Your yard is really nice. And you're a horrible person. Yes, I know. So, I mean... Because I'm a horrible person, that's the system that America has. I was rewarded for my...

Oh, I see, you're saying I'm such a nice and good person, I shouldn't deserve... Exactly, that's what I was going for. You know, I will take praise over the whole head. There's no hint of mendacity or cruelty with you, and yet you seem to be living as nicely as I. Here's my check back, I'll take it. And Shredder.

You son of a bitch. Yeah. It is real, and you have lots of nice touches, sort of zen. Oh, I thought he was still talking to you. No, zen gardens. He has a lot of nice things in his yard, did I? It has a beautiful pool too, that I was disappointed we didn't even get to use.

I thought initially... I think if we had one more round of chilled chums, we would have been in there. I think so, yeah. Sure, I think so. It ended up like Brian Jones at the bottom of a pool. Well, I'm sorry. He's from the who, right?

No, from the Rolling Stones. Maybe the founding member of the Rolling Stones ended up at the bottom of a pool. Okay, Rolling Stones. Why was he at the bottom of the pool? He died, he drowned. Oh. And he may have, the coroner said

he had had a chilled chum, just before he went swimming. I'm just saying. There are a lot of conspiracy theories about the loss of Brian Jones. Yeah, you should come over and drink a little and swim. Wow. Well, it's a bad combination.

And that's why Eduardo, I think it was wise. Did you have a chilled chum at Eduardo? I technically was working, so I'm not sure how I should answer this. Oh, smart, smart, smart. How about answer it honestly, and let me be the judge of, just be, trust that you're in a fair environment and answer honestly.

All right, I will trust you, I had one drink. You're fine, get out. It was delicious. I hope it was, because you're losing this job now. I'm sorry, I have to run a very tight ship. And you can have your job back, or you can have praise. In fairness, I'm fine. Do you want your job back, or praise?

Which one do you want, Eduardo? I'll take my job back. Damn it! All right, you have your job back now. I only followed their lead. No, of course, what do you mean, you're not a surgeon. Well, we were podcasting, so I couldn't have a drink for 36 hours before,

or, yeah, you're not flying an American Airlines flight. You're allowed to, I encourage people here to drink before and after podcasting. Really? And during, if necessary. Okay. Why don't we have drinks here? Yes, I know.

Well, we know why you don't have a drink here. I think that was, you're out of control. You're out of control. I think we should have drinks, especially. I had a great time. Me too. I mean, not that I normally wouldn't have, but more fun than I normally have doing this.

This is fun and all, but that was real fun. Well, it was really nice to be out there. I liked having the fire, courtesy of Solo Stove, and they don't even, they're not even paying for a mention right now. I just really like their product. Brought them up every single time. Yeah, but I liked that fire.

It was really nice to have a fire there and not worry about it. That's true, I love a fire. I love the outdoors. Hey, I left mine there. I have a Solo Stove coming to me. You can give it away. Did you?

No, I have it. I want it back. Do you want me to? You have to go pick it up. Yeah, I'd like it. You know what I have to do? I have to get my truck and I'll come pick it up. Yeah, go pick it up

and then you can't complain about how long it took. Can you do that? Well, I'm just, I wouldn't have to go all the way to Pasadena. What am I supposed to meet you halfway and you look alike? Well, I can't, listen, listen. Man of my stature in Pasadena.

In one of the dinas? I'm a B-lister now. That'll kick me down to C. I can't go there. No, I know definitely I'll come by and get it because I want it. We've put word out in the dinas that you're not allowed back in

and so you have to check in at the border. Oh, yeah. That's a, man, that must be a really intimidating border guard at Pasadena, an 85-year-old woman that voted twice for Eisenhower. You're not coming in here? Okay, you are.

I just gently nudge her aside. Okay, then yes. You've got my number. You found my one weakness. It's weakness. It's weakness. My, my one weakness, weakness. Yeah, beautiful.

Do you have the big one or the little one? I guess I did, I think they gave me the big one. Oh, take the big one. Yeah, I took the big one. No, and don't, I wasn't saying that in a sexual way. Why did you use that voice then? I just said, because I really wanted people to know how much I wanted the big one.

Can't you just say it normally? Like, I'll take the big one, but you said it like, I'll take the big one. I'll take the big one. Yeah. That's just how I'm, when I, that's how I talk when I'm talking about a solo stove. Oh, okay.

They're made of aluminum. Are they? I don't even know what they're made of. When he started, I was like, where is this going? Yeah. I think chill chums, you know, I'm always wary when we repeat something. Yeah.

But I thought that we elevated it. I think so. Their first chill chums was a nice discovery. And then we, it was wise, I think, to go to a location. Now, maybe next time. Hot tub. Ooh, hard pass. So, is that because you'd have to see my chest?

Is that it? That's a very big part. Is that like 80% of it? Yeah. That's, that's maybe even 90%. You know that whenever I go in the water, I wear it. I wear a 1920s bathing suit. I wear those bathing suits to go from literally,

from the bottom of my throat to my ankles. And I wear a straw boater. Goorley knows exactly what I'm talking about. Yeah, he does. I'm sure. I'm botting up your overcoat when the wind blows free. I'll be busy that day. Can't call the cat up your side.

You belong to me. Odio, odio. Listen, I'm going to get in shape. And I'm going to get into a hot tub with you guys next year. That's not real threatening. Yeah, it's like you're forcing me to get into a hot tub with you. That is problematic. Please.

Pay praise to the hot tub. Yeah, yeah. What do you want, Sona? Pay praise or hot tub? Pay, pay, pay, pay, pay. I'm taking pay out of the equation. Do you want praise or hot tub? Praise, praise, please.

I'm taking praise out of the equation. Do you want hot tub or a nerfing? Hi. I'm not aware of what's been going on culturally in the last 25 years. I'm Conan O'Brien here. I am tone deaf to everything that's happened in society. Anyway, you're going to get in that hot tub with me, see?

Employee. Oh, that is good. I'm pretty sure that I'm in solid ground here. Yeah, you're fine. You're totally fine. There's no problem here. How do we elevate it next time? Space?

Oh, that's too much. No, that's too much. That's all I thought of. I have no ideas. We go to the mountains. We spend the night. I do think that we should leave and be in a real camp environment. Oh, I like this.

And so, and I'd be up for that. I would die. I can't camp. You're not going to die. Like you poop in a hole? Oh, stop it. Don't talk that way. No, no, no.

Isn't that real camping? Are you talking glamping? Are you talking camping? No, there's an in-between. Oh, trust me. There's going to be, first of all, a whole audio setup. You know that there's going to be a muddled mush in the bar in the corner so he can make his chill chum drinks.

You think this guy, you just want to go real camping? Can you go real camping? Can you go real camping? Yeah, I used to go real camping all the time as a youngster. That's when I discovered that without sunblock, I'd die. You had to go camping. They put me in an aluminum canoe in short 1970s bathing suit in Maine on the Soco River.

And it was like putting ice cream into tin foil and putting it under a massive heat lamp for a couple of hours. So yeah, my skin caught fire. I think what we do is we go to Point Magoo in Malibu and they have restrooms there, but otherwise you have a campground and there's a fire pit and it's not that far. Like we pitch a tent? Yeah.

I like to pitch a tent. Can you stop saying things like that? You did it again. What do you mean? I just want to pitch a tent. No, you made a distinct. I don't think so. I think, no, you guys are reading into this.

When I say I'd like the big one and then I'll pitch a tent, that's me saying I want the larger solo stove and I'm very happy to set up camp. Okay. Okay. So there's that. I don't, yeah. Take it easy.

You read way too much into this stuff and that's telling us more about you than it is about me. But I think it'd be fantastic. I think we should go someplace. But I do think we should have like a giant RV that has a real bed for me. You guys can stay in the tent. What?

What? Come on. We're all three sleeping in a one man tent and that's how this has to come. Pass. I'm not, I don't want to. Yeah. It's like my own tent.

I just don't want to. I do think it'd be funny. This is funny conceptually. And so we should follow through on it. If you two were in tents, like not glamorous tents, and I was in a very, very nice Winnebago or Starwagon and had like a four poster bed. And it would just be a funny contract.

A four poster bed. What? How does it work? I don't know what you're talking about at all. Is there space in this for then that RV or that wagon for the two of us? Or is it? Why do you want in on where I'm sleeping?

Because it sounds so much more comfortable than the tent. Get out of my room, my private space. I'm a married man. We went from sharing a tent to you kicking Adam and Ryan RV. No, I think it's funny comedically. Adam, you admit it's funny comedically if I have a beautiful room with air conditioning.

It would be really good for the downloads if you had it. Yes, it buys us Christ. No, it's just funny. And also, I bet you we could get some company that makes a really nice RV to buy in for the ad. Conan is sleeping in a quality Zoom, you know, RV. You know what I mean? Whatever, some company that makes us top of the line.

And I'm in there and I'm dipping strawberries in molten chocolate. Sherries berries does a lot of podcast advertising. Yes, there you go. Stop it. Okay. So anyway, we're three hammocks vertically stacked on the same two trees. No. Anyway, let me handle the comedy here.

I am the one that has the most expertise in that area. And it's just funny. Conan living high on the hog and you two in a crappy pup tent. I don't know. I think it'd be funnier if you were in the tent and then Gory and I were in the nice luxurious thing because that's not what people would expect. Because I'm the one that used to work for the Simpsons

on Saturday Night Live. Let me see. Oh, no, I'm looking. No, it's not as funny. Let me check because I'm the one that used to work at the Gap. So it is funny. Let me just check and see. No, not as funny.

Anyway, I think we're set. This is going to be a really good chill chums next year. I can't wait. Got to pick out that star wagon now. And we still technically have not really decided the controversy of whether s'mores are overrated or not. Oh, they are. They're good.

They're delicious. We'll see. No, no, no. Eduardo, you say it. I'm not a fan. Exactly. We took a poll. I know, but Eduardo kind of tipped it.

But it wasn't 100% clear. No, guess what? It was, can I quite honestly, all riffing aside, with that assembled group of crew and people that were there, most people were underwhelmed by the concept of a s'more. Seriously, that's true. I just edited that episode and it was pretty much 50-50 until Eduardo weighed in and kind of skewed it

to that they are overrated. But it was close. Most of the people who liked it, though, connected with a nice, happy experience. So maybe you just haven't had any happy experiences. No, I think, again, I'll go back to it, s'mores are all about given that we're here around a campfire and no one brought a decent treat, this will do.

I think s'mores survive in the national consciousness because people are grating on a curve. They're saying, given that all we have are some old crackers and some not terrific chocolate and some marshmallows, a very inferior treat, and some sticks, this isn't bad. I have to agree. Yes, that is what we're talking about with s'mores.

I highly disagree. I just think you can make it exactly the way you want it. You want to char the marshmallow, cool. If you don't want to char it and you just want to gradually melt it, cool. If you want whatever kind of chocolate, that's cool, too. Yeah, but even if you do it all perfectly, you end up with a C minus dessert.

You just do. You know, it's like a pirate saying has a peg leg made of wood. Do you think he didn't even know that one day there'd be these amazing prosthetics? No. He's just like, for, you know, your choice be no leg at all.

I'll take the pegs. This is the dumbest analogy ever. I know that is. That analogy is rough. No, the s'more is the peg leg of treats. Okay, well, I'm on the s'mores side. Suddenly. What?

Yeah. That's a good analogy. Yes, I can't be having aluminum fiberglass and carbon prosthetic made with the latest technology. I guess I'll take a piece of wood because it's either that or tippin' over. I agree. See, even the parrot agrees.

S'mores suck. If s'mores all we have, then that's what we'll have. But if someone had a better treat like a baked Alaska, what would I be first in line? What other treats have you had around a campfire that are better? Baked Alaska. Oh, how about the chocolate-covered honeycomb and bourbon? That was actually really good.

No, but that's prepaid. That's prepared. What I'm saying is what do you make with the fire? I know you're grating on a curve. You keep saying my point. But no one's ever come up with anything better because it's perfect as it is. It is not perfect.

Amanda made something called banana boats where you split a banana down the middle and put Nutella in, wrap it in foil, and put that on a stick. I would eat that. I would eat that. I would eat that. I would eat that.

That sounds fantastic. I would eat that. Next year we'll try that, maybe, in the hot tub. Yeah. But I mean, just remember that s'mores only live on the consciousness because no one had a better idea at the time. I disagree. I think if they were really as bad as you say they were,

then not many people would just have complete adoration for them. They do it because they don't have adoration for it. It's a false memory. They think they're supposed to love it. That's the point. They think they're supposed to like a s'more because it's supposed to connect them to this pure American experience out in the woods

and it's bullshit. That's what we're dealing with here, is progression versus tradition. And this is the New Culture War. Yeah. The war on Christmas. This is s'mores is now the New Culture War. No, it's not the same.

I think that's a very... It's not the same. You just elevated this whole conversation. No, you two have terrible analogies. You're pegleg wine. You're war on Christmas. No, it doesn't work. I'm sorry.

You try an analogy then, you big guy. I don't know it. I'm not even going to think of an analogy because I already know I'm not good at it. Nice analogy. Yeah. You win. I'm not even going to try because I know I'm no good.

Well, I knew even if I did try, it would be better than it. The s'mores is like the peglegs of desserts. All I can think of now is a pirate who doesn't have a pegleg, but instead he's assembled a bunch of s'mores, stacked them, and he's trying to support his body on the s'mores.

And then he just puts his foot in the fire. He's standing too close to a fire, and he's like, I'm ass, he swabs, and he falls over. I'm delicious. I am delicious. I just ate my leg,

and it's underwhelming. Caw, caw. I have a feeling this is not a popular opinion. You know what I made a mistake? I made a mistake. What? I had the parrot go, caw, caw.

Yeah, you made it a crow. Yeah, that was a mistake. Everyone ate s'mores. Now do you like his analogy? Yeah, now I like it. I fixed it. Yeah, now it works. Anyway, I don't know what we accomplished,

but we did accomplish something. And guys, I know that sometimes I don't say it, but I treasure you both, and I'll camp with you anytime, as long as I have the far superior accommodations.

We're not giving up our paycheck. Was that bonus praise? No, I'm deducting money from both of your... You can't do that. You have to let us choose. Do you know the accountant's name? I do. Rocco?

No, it's not Rocco. Rocco's the enforcer, not the accountant. No, I can do whatever I want. I'm a madman. That's the sick thing about this podcast. A madman, no constraints. None. None.

Well... I thought we were done. Were we done? Not yet. Oh, okay. No, we're back. We're back. Well, we're not back.

That awkward silence brought to you by Solo Stove. If you've been chilled by an awkward silence, warm up with Solo Stove. I think it's time we honor the lull, and we end this. Yeah, that's good. How about a podcast that's just called Lull? And it's just a series of lulls,

and every now and then there's just a... Do you think maybe we could... Uh... Uh... And then quiet for a while. But instead of it, it's not an hour of silence. Yeah.

Every... Well, you'll know where to put it in. And you never know when it's coming, but just... Hey, do you... Um... Think that... No.

Forget it. Yeah, don't worry about it. It's okay. Okay. And then quiet. Let's do a whole podcast sometime of just lulls. Yeah, that sounds great.

Well, you don't know. We get a lot of people... Electric companies would want in. Pillow companies would want in. Noise-canceling headphones. Noise-canceling headphones would want in. I listen to this podcast with noise-canceling headphones. But that canceled a podcast.

Hey, let's start marketing. Conor Ryan needs a friend to cancel headphones. So... And anytime it detects either... Any of our three voices, it cancels that out and replaces it with the sound of whooshing air. Oh, good.

Sounds good. Well, listen. This has been Summer S'mores. And we'll try this again. A little on down the road. See you next year. But then also just next week when we're back for other podcasts.

Yeah, we're still doing other ones. Yeah. Yeah, what a horrible thing to say. Shake. Summer S'mores with Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Gorely. Produced by me, Matt Gorely. Executive produced by Adam Sacks,

Joe Anasola-Taroff, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson at Earwolf. Music by Jimmy Vivino. Supervising producer Aaron Blair. Associate talent producer Jennifer Samples. Associate producers Sean Doherty and Lisa Berm. Engineered by Will Beckton. Please rate, review,

and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded. This has been a Team Coco production in association with Stitcher.