Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Summer S’mores with Conan and the Chill Chums Season 3 Episode 1

Episode Date: July 27, 2023

Conan and the Chill Chums plan out the rest of their summer by deciding their hypothetical last meals on a Summer S’mores special.

This special episode of Summer Smores is presented by Solo Stove. Solo Stove is uniquely designed to burn off smoke before it ever escapes the top of the fire pit. Trust us once you've sat around a smoke with fire, you'll never want to go back. Go check them out at solostove.com, use promo code Conan to get 10 hours off your new pit. Summer Smores with Conan and the Chill Chumps,

a six-part series with Conan O'Brien, Sonom of Sessian, and Matt Gourley. Let's get started. Hello there, fans. Welcome. I said that with such bitterness. Hello there, fans. Welcome to Summer Smores, another installment of Summer Smores, and I say, I think I said fans because I think this is one for the real hardcore fans. Yeah. Because I'm not, I'm not trying to shoe anyone else away. I invite you to experience this, but this is kind of something special we do around this

time of year. And it's taken on a life of its own. Matt, refresh my memory. How did this all get started in your opinion? Well, the first year of this podcast, we did a special summer series with Dana Carvey, called Deep Dive with Dana Carvey. Deep Dive, yes. Then the next year, we, at this point,

we had already had an argument about Smoors, and Conan and I were absolutely correct in that there are no forated dessert. And so you did your best to defend an indefensible situation. Yeah, that Smoors were something people actually liked. Two dry shangles with some tasteless goo jammed in between. Tases goo is marshmallow and chocolate. Yeah,

I'll grab it. Okay, but that's not the point. Usually a very inferior grade of chocolate, but anyway, that's okay. I'm serious. Marry. Where we debated that. Right. And then and that took off. And guess what? the overwhelming consensus online was that we were correct. That's not mine. You don't check online. What are you doing? I went online earlier today.

Isn't that that abacus? Yes. Yes. You don't read stuff about the show. You just not like you're looking at comments. I've got my finger on the pulse. He has people for that. I have people for that.

I have three AI bots that tell me what's going on. I don't know what to do with AI bots. I also make my scrambled eggs the morning. Oh, wait, that's my servant who's to share Matt. Yeah. And then because we called it summer s'mores, we decided let's do one, because we are debating summer s'mores so much we decided let's, let's do one in your back your field test a field test

Yeah, so we took a year off for the pandemic then we did that we took a year off from the pandemic Well, you took a year off. I did my best to create a cure. I worked very hard. I'm serious scientists I'm not a wear out. I'm not a medical professional Right, right. We could have told you that everybody could have told me was someone had, I went and bought a lab coat at a Halloween store and said, let me in here. I can fix this COVID. You put on your doctor voice and they still didn't. Thank you, we're. Well, that's not my doctor voice, that's my newsman voice.

And that was one of the problems. Can I hear your doctor voice? I kept throwing two traffic and weather. My doctor voice is, hmm, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hard to believe no one would trust that. Yeah, it's COVID. Yes. I'll need my microscope in my various implements. So we took some time off or you did. I worked hard to save us all. I did, I think, in my own way.

Yeah. And then we went into your backyard and we had a cookout and we made some s'mores so that we could really test whether or not we liked them or not. I thought, again, these were perfectly normal s'mores made the way most people make s'mores. My opinion did not change. I didn't find them to be tasty at all. What about you, man? No, if anything, it was reinforced and it was decisive. Yeah, decisive. It was just awful. Son, did you like the smorch we had?

Loved them. I could have had 40. Right. Can I just say one thing? This disqualifies you a little bit, which is after you ate the last smor, I heard you saying, yum yum yum, this is good too, when I looked over.

And you were chewing on a rock that you had found at the base of an oak tree. Yeah, and you also had a bowl of our garden mulch at one point. Yeah, you said this is also good. And then you said yummy, yummy, yummy, what good pasta. You were eating a garden hose. Oh, I didn't know you two were like food critics. You also chewed to a wall of my house.

You have such advanced palettes, you too. Look at you two with your cuisines. It's a good thing. You know, it's you chewed through Gourli's wall. It's a good thing he had that glue trap because... It's best way to catch a rat into the glue trap. Anyway. I hate this so far.

Well, listen, it's going to get a lot better, but then for you, much worse. Okay. So we did that last. And people seemed to really enjoy that. We were really outside. We loved it. And then we were thinking, why would you do this summer? Since the Smores debate's been settled,

we didn't need to cover that in. We didn't need to cover that anywhere. So we wanted to move on from Smores. We did, we did. We did. Yeah, we did. Okay. We did want to move on from Smores.

Very good. Sonna, speech champion. And you've moved on from the English language. Oh, see, national. You've moved on from enunciating. But anyway, we decided, let's try something a little different this year. And the first decision we made, which I think

is going to work at, we haven't done it yet. But what we're going to do is we have this very nice facility here in the large mont area of Los Angeles, where we do our podcasting. There's editing facilities. It's a great place to hang, guests that come on the show where they like to be here. And we have an outdoor area that's quite lovely.

And so we thought, what if we do it here, outdoors at night, and record it over several sessions, and maybe switch it up a little bit, but try and recapture some of that magic from last summer. So, what do you think, Matt? Do you think this is gonna be a good idea? I think it's a great idea that the outdoor deck is just literally right outside this door. It's beautiful.

It's amazing. When you say this door, of course, this is an audio medium. Let me tell the people, and he's gesturing to a door right here in this studio. Are you gonna describe what a door is? This door imply that there is a door. Yeah, there are hinges and it opens and there is a knob

and you walk through it and it enter you enter another area. Are you familiar with what a door is? Oh, I'm quite familiar with what a door is. Okay. Yes, and I'll be escorting you through one in about five minutes. It goes, there's a door in the studio that goes right to this very nice desk. Just set that. in this studio. Yes. Can I ask, will Matt be making drinks this time? Cause last year, everyone got a, well, everyone mine is Conan. I was, I was, I showed a lot of moderation last year.

Yes. T total layer. Well, a lot of T totaler, but I, I'm a professional. Mmm. I am. I'm a professional and last year, last. Matt, what did you make last year? It was amazing.

Last year I made the chilled chum. Yeah, and tell us what it was. It was bourbon, pomegranate juice, ginger beer. I think maybe a little lemon, and then as you put it, pulverized mouse hearts. But there were modeled struts. There was little chunks of what looked like shredded mice hearts in there. But I don't care what it was, it was delicious. It was very good.

I, now, here's what I'm gonna say. I don't go too crazy, so I took it slow. You got yourself, I would say you got yourself into a happy place, but you were not a control. Couldn't say it. Sona, I'm gonna say this. You don't even have to have that much. Yeah. And you get wasted. And I remember this from the years and years of us So, now, I'm gonna say this, you don't even have to have that much. No.

And you get wasted. And I remember this from the years and years of us touring, doing shows in other cities, traveling around. If we ever hit a bar, you would have one glass of white wine. Is it? And you'd be making out with a parking meter. Okay. Making out with a parking, no, I would...

I'm talking about a very good looking parking. Oh, okay, then yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna make out with a parking meter. Yeah. Yeah, and my tolerance is low. It's gotten even lower because I don't drink that often. Right. I partake in, you know, can a can a can a buy?

Can a buy weed pot. Jazz cigarette weed pot. We bought. We bought. Yes, we got. So, so that's it. So your tolerance is even lower. So we just have to watch it this year. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm going to be much more responsible than I was last year. I can't wait. Possibly. Yeah, yeah. I will. I'm going to, I'm going to, what's the word?

Moderate. You don't even know the word. I'm going to like, it's not in your dictionary. It's myself. Have you done some pre-gaming? No, I wish I I did I'm looking forward to it and we're gonna hang out and I don't know what we're not gonna do some more is this year No, but we've got really big plans a for a drink but more importantly the treat this year is pizza Oh my god pizza is my absolute kryptonite and I have said this many times For my final meal because eventually we all know I'm gonna be put on death row for stuff

Yeah, and they're gonna say what are your final meal? And I'm always reading people's final meals and it's always like I want a cheeseburger and this and it's like what I want Is I want a really good Margarita pizza made in a wood fire oven. Mm- is going to be, I'm not sure they can accommodate me. I know that's, that's a big thing. Well, as my assistant, you're going to really have to be into it with the prison system. Oh, man. But I want a wood fired Margarita pizza that's really good.

And I want a very good pinon noir. And I think the combination of a very good pizza and some red wine is a Kevin. And not wait for the prison guards to just laugh you to all the way to the electric chair. Yeah. And the new warry says. This guy wanted to and I'll be all the way there dragging me to the gas chamber. I'll be saying now I guess it's not gas chamber anymore. It's a lethal injection. Yeah. Maybe it takes you to be an executed the four seasons Disguise over here now fellows. That's so rough There potter will call and straighten everything out

Gurley and I will be injecting you You guys will be shooting at me as I'm being taken to the room where I'm legally injected. You know how shooting gallery or shooting, what are you firing squad? Yeah, they give one person live rounds and everybody else has blanks so that no one has the guilt, but you and I have the way it's the other way around. Everyone has live rounds except for one person.

Thanks, doctor. Is that true? Yes. So no one has the guilt? Yeah, that's what they do, yeah. But what I'm saying is if they gave everybody blanks and one guy a real bullet, you probably wouldn't kill the person.

Okay, let me take it again. No, no, I have like, no, no, no, no. We're not taking that again. You take things again all the time? Never have and never will. Wow. When your name's on the show, you get hit away with murder until you're sent to death, bro.

The point is, so now that I will refuse blanks, we both want to know that we've got live round. Oh, you'll know. Summer's more a series is back. Each year we gather around a solo stove fire pit. This year's solo stove sent us the bonfire designed to put out some serious heat without putting off that dirty, yes, where you know, I'm talking about smoke. Oh, that word.

That's right. The solo stove is uniquely designed to burn off smoke before it ever escapes the top of the fire pit. Trust us. Once you've sat around a smokeless fire, you'll never want to go back solo stove has multiple different colors, they're portable. So you take it with you in a backcountry, the beach, anywhere you want to go. It's pretty incredible.

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You knew fire pit. I love that. I love that it's pizza. What drink do you think you'll do this year? I want it to be a surprise. You think about it? No, I'll surprise you. I've already got it figured out. I do want to say this about the pizza. My dear sister in law, Sarah,

has is doing something very special that we will see. And also my wife is doing a substitute campfire dessert that I think blows s'mores out of the water. Okay, yeah. I want to say that's a, I love your wife. That's a pretty low barks. I think anything blows s'mores out of the water. And I think these are probably just above some more.

I think an army boot, marinated in kerosene, blows more as out of the water. But that's me. Just think that you two are the most un-American people I've ever met in my entire life. Because I think that- You were born in Armenia. That's it.

No, I wasn't. Oh, please, let's see your papers. Let's see your papers. You think I'm carrying around my papers? I want your papers! Papers, please! Your papers, please see your papers. What's your paper? You think I'm carrying around my God, so there are gonna be no celebrities Interviews what what you do Chums, it's just the three of us. You know what? Yeah, so no one's gonna be here. No like celebrities. Well first of all

I'd have a little bit of experience in the celebrity world. Having looked at one every time I check out a mirror. Ah, boo! Yay, yay! Oh my God, cut to huge footage. Wow, check or tape parade. Lindberghs, Triumphant Return to New York. The Beatles at Shay Stadium, this is incredible. Can you cut to footage in a podcast? I don't think so.

Anyway, look at the door. The door. The door is the only way out and only one of us is getting through it. I would say having some experience discussing things with celebrities, none of them would want to show up for that. Not true. Not true. You think Jeff Goldblum wouldn't be in our hair in a heartbeat?

Well, if we put a piano out, that'd be even better if he's tinkling the iris during this like tinkling. Tinkly. Is that what he said? That means urinating on a piano. Yeah, that's tickling. No, my plan is for Jeff Goldblum. To tinkle on the eye. I bet you anything, he'll play a beautiful melody. Yeah, the stream of his urine. Okay. Terrific. Looking forward to that. Tinkling. Oh, but it's a sub for me to uh, that uh, tickle on the old livers. Hmm. Yeah. Well, no, we're not going to, and I don't want to create false

expectation. There will be no Jeff Goldblum. There'll be no celebrities because I think the star is the magical chemistry. Of the soul. St stove campfire you know. Oh, that's right. Do we mention that? We don't have to. He was gonna say something nice about us and you busted it with the-

Oh, I thought he was gonna brag about himself. Oh. I'm sorry, keep going. The chemistry, well, you're gonna say the chemistry between what? I think we have a good chemistry and I think we're gonna get together and we're gonna have some spirits

and we're gonna eat some delicious pizza and we're gonna see what happens. And I have a feeling it's gonna be a lot of fun. I really believe that in my heart. Yeah, I do too. This is coming up on five years of this podcast too, you know. Five. In November, I believe.

So is that true? Yeah. Does it feel like five years to you? Mm, yes. It feels like 15. Yeah. No, it doesn't feel like five. Does it feel like five to you? No, it doesn't feel like five. Does it feel like five to you?

No, it doesn't. How many episodes have we done? I don't know. I think 300 and some? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, well that's with the Conan O'Brien needs a fan episodes. Yeah.

Well, yeah. Yeah. And the Summer Smores and the Deep Dives and the bonus episodes. 340. I'm told, six are quite good. Yeah, it's my old joke. I love it. You know, you are once considered sort of a newcomer

to the industry, a carpet bagger, if you will. And now, five years in, I think it's safe to call you, you know? I wouldn't say seasoned veteran, but maybe a veteran. Wow. Yeah. Cool. You think there's people who've been doing this a lot longer. Yeah, yeah Jeff Pills are historic McNulty. Oh There's they've been doing this for a long time these people exactly

my point That was a good one. Oh, you can't say that was a good one and to make the joke good I can't say that was a good one to make the joke good. So the first episode of Summer Smores and you're drawing a breast-headed creature. What is going on here? I don't know, I'm just drawing up this creature and he's wearing a loose-fitting linen jacket. I'm still stuck on your last meal

because I think that can just be any meal and it's very anticlimactic for me. I feel like I would choose like a lot of different foods. I know I just want to keep it very simple, but it's your last meal. You don't want any fried chicken. You can put on all the calories. Everyone always asks for fried chicken, but I don't want to go to the to the execution room feeling like that heavy feeling you get.

Die. Who cares? You're not going to feel good anyway. You'll be so scared that heavy feeling you get. You're gonna die! Who cares? You're not gonna feel good anyway. You'll be so scared that your body will turn wild. Oh, not me. Do you think you could even eat if you're known you're gonna die? Oh, I will have such a good meal. Oh, so much a good meal.

And also, we'll make sure you get s'mores. S'mores. No, no s'mores in Mardo. Oh, man, I'm gonna give you s'mores. I'm gonna be like, they didn't have any pizzas here. Some s'mores. We're gonna roast s'mores over like, they didn't have any pizzas here. Some small. We're gonna roast some more over your crackling electric bar. You want to kill me?

I'm gonna be like, he's dead. We didn't throw the switch yet. I know, he just died. What would your last meal be, Sonah? It's gonna be a lot of things. It's gonna be like an in and out cheeseburger. It's gonna be fried chicken. It's gonna be lots of chocolate fountain with things I could dip into it. It's going to be fried chicken. It's going to be lots of like a chocolate fountain

with things I could dip into it. It's, it's just going to be like a lot of stuff that makes me happier. It's clear also that you're stretching out. You're going to say it's your last meal and you're going to stretch it out so that it's days long. Yeah. And then eventually the governor calls because the state can't afford the meal anymore. he offers, he commutes your sentence. Just because what? You know what? A statue of Sona made out of pate is on the way. We can't afford that. Yeah.

All right, commuter sentence. Give her three months and then release her on good behavior. That's my plan. That's a good plan. I just want a lot of food from a lot of places that I like. You know, I want my mom to make me those lamb chops. Those are really good.

I don't know. What would you do? I do a bean and cheese burrito from SuperMex. I do chocolate covered honeycomb from Little Flower, urban, craft macaroni and cheese, free pebbles. This sounds very much like someone trying to get free stuff. I see. I know see. I do eat a Porsche 911 Herrera, the Linz model, Porsche killing it and my address is 3232. Saloway.

I do. I snack on a Dewalt table saw, Port of the table saw, a round mitre saw with a telescoping arm. Those are tasty. A Rivian electric truck. That'd be great to get a lot of plugs in for your last meal. Well, I'm looking forward to this. I think it's gonna be great. Me too. And this will be how many installments do you think?

We're gonna do six. So this will be the first. We're gonna do four outside and then we're gonna do a kind of debrief final episode back in the studio after we're all done. Okay. Yeah, we're going to talk about how we behaved. So the next time people tune into this, they're going to hear us, let me set the table for you.

We will be outside here in the large mon area, sort of mid-Hollywood, beautiful view of the Hollywood sign, a second floor of the wonderful team cocoa complex here, and we'll be cooking up some pizzas. You'll be making a special drink. Sono will not be showing any restraint. That's just my guess. And we're gonna have an incredible time. We are. And we're gonna really let our guard down. You're gonna, I guess who knows what's gonna happen? Who knows? We might rekindle our friendship in a sort of romantic way. And we're gonna really let our guard down. I guess who knows what's gonna happen? Who knows? We might rekindle our friendship in a sort of romantic way. Did we unkindle it?

I don't know that we ever kindled it. Oh, okay. It was never kindled in my version. It wasn't even kindled? No. I think you guys are my friends. Well, I'm your friend for sure. Yeah.

And I want to be your friend. Why the hostility, girl? It's not hostility. I've shown you nothing but kindness. And by kindness, I mean employment. I'm sitting here just waiting to be your friend. I've always been kind to you, parentheses. In this case, kindness is a substitute word for employment. What?

Financial exchange is taking the best. You know, I'll take it. All right, I'll see you guys next week. I'm really, I consider this just as just the warm up. Next week's the really beginning of Summer Smores 2023. So join us, won't you? Summer Smores with Conan O'Brien, Sonom of Sessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley.

Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Nick Liao, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Ear Wolf. Themesong by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our Associate Talent Producer is Jennifer Samples, engineering by Eduardo Perez, additional production support by Mars Melnick, talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Khan.

You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the team Coco Hotline at 3-2-3-451-2821 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien, needs a friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever Fine Podcasts are down.